The Miami Hurricane - Oct. 16, 2014

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ACADEMICS

THEMIAMIHURRICANE.COM Check out Hallee Meltzer’s photo gallery from the III Points Music Festival, a three-day event in Wynwood featuring artists like Lykke Li and Duke Dumont.

The Miami Hurricane is off for fall break. New issues will return Thursday.

First online degree program launches UOnline makes higher education more accessible BY JACKIE YANG CONTRIBUTING NEWS WRITER

As the popularity of online classes and web-based academic tools increases, educational communities aim to keep up with the digital trends. On Sept. 29, the University of Miami opened up applications for its first fully-online degree program, UOnline. The program offers tracks for master’s degrees in finance through the School of Business Administration and sport administration through the School of Education and Human Development beginning January 2015. The program is geared toward working professionals seeking further professional development and skill diversification. The academic programs are based on campus curricula that have been tailored and streamlined to provide flexibility without compromising the quality of education. “The programs have the same standards as the on-theground programs,” said William Green, senior vice provost and dean of undergraduate education. “Regular faculty members who are teaching the on-the-ground courses will be instructing UOnline courses.” The new online courses will offer interactive learning open to prospective graduate students from around the world, whether they are a UM alumni or a new student.

Last year, a special task force co-chaired by Green and Mitsunori Ogihara of the Computer Science department was appointed to oversee the implementation of UOnline. It included representatives of the Faculty Senate, the administration and Student Government. Comprehensive surveys were conducted to assess community interest in an online program. The UOnline program is the result of consultation between UM and Laureate Education, a worldwide online education provider based in Baltimore, Maryland. Course designers worked with UM faculty to develop the online classes. This project marks a significant shift toward increased online learning on campus, according to Green. The goals were to expand UOnline to offer more programs in the future and that the possibility of fully-online undergraduate degrees “had to be explored,” Green said. Junior Soha Khedkar, a double major in economics and health sector management and policy, recognizes the possibilities this program will provide. “I think it’s a great opportunity to allow working individuals based anywhere to earn a master’s degree, and I’m excited to see it expand ...” she said. UOnline’s programs cost $43,500 for a master’s in finance and $53,700 for a master’s in sports administration. UM will offer up to 30 percent in financial assistance in the forms of tuition reduction and merit scholarships. Online applications are currently available at online. miami.edu upon request. The programs are currently pending accreditation from Southern Association of Colleges and Schools.

PHOTO BRIEF

Future student center breaks ground GRAND GIFT: UM Hillel Student Board President Alex Rabhan speaks during the groundbreaking for the new Braman Miller Center for Jewish Student Life. The event took place on Wednesday morning at the Hillel Jewish Student Center. The new center will feature a kosher kitchen, rooftop patio and new technology. Gifts from the Braman and Miller families made this endeavor possible. The current Hillel Center is already the largest campus Jewish organization in the world and will be renovated during the course of the project. Construction is scheduled to be completed by this time next year, and the finished center will be open for all students to use. For more on the Braman Miller Center for Jewish Student Life groundbreaking, visit themiamihurricane.com. GIANCARLO FALCONI // STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

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October 16 - October 22, 2014


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CAMPUS LIFE

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NBCUniversal executive visits School of Communication

Shalala hosts student media press conference

Ron Meyer gives industry advice

President talks goals for successor, plans for future

BY PATRICIA AMARAL CONTRIBUTING NEWS WRITER

BY ERIKA GLASS MANAGING EDITOR

Vice Chairman of NBCUniversal Ron Meyer shared his journey to becoming the longestserving chief of a major motion picture company in Hollywood history with students Monday morning at the School of Communication. Meyer gave professional advice on presentations, business fundamentals and writing, in addition to sharing his personal experiences working his way to the top. When Meyer was 15, he dropped out of school and later returned to finish his high school degree. At 19, he joined the United States Marine Corps. He explained that he was “critical of most college choices.” “There’s a certain point where you stop learning things that are applicable to the real world,” he said. Meyer then worked at the William Morris Agency and then founded a talent agency with four other agents from the WMA, named Creative Artists Agency. When ref lecting on his time at the WMA, he described his first interview, when he pretended to be something he wasn’t. “I told them I had previously worked as an agent,” he said. “But I don’t think they hired me for any reason except that they liked me and needed someone.” Meyer then said that “presentation is everything,” and that is how he makes his decisions, too. The former Universal Studios president then pointed out two business fundamentals not taught in the current education system. “Treat everyone the way you want to be treated. Remember, nice people does not mean weak people,” Meyer said. “And secondly, give everyone the benefit of the doubt.”

On Wednesday, President Donna E. Shalala sat down for a press conference with student media. She talked about the future and financial status of the university. The Miami Hurricane compiled select questions from the press conference. STUDENT MEDIA: What do you think is still left to be accomplished that your successor will tackle? SHALALA DONNA SHALALA: Oh, lots of things are left to be accomplished. The integration of modern technology into the classroom and into research ... rethinking and rebuilding undergraduate housing on campus. ... But the real core responsibility will be hiring a new generation of faculty. This generation, my own generation, will be retiring in the next five years, and the quality of the university – its reputation – will be determined by the next generation of faculty. SM: Why did you pick this year as your last year at UM? DS: I actually picked four years ago. But the economic downturn made all universities in this country unstable, and therefore it was necessary to rebuild our financial balance sheet, to make sure we were financially in good shape. ... Most people cancelled their campaigns because of the economic downturn, but we decided that we would try to raise $1.6 billion. And it looks like by June we’ll have raised that. I intended to leave though after 10 years. I just got waylaid. SM: What are your plans after the end of the school year? DS: I wish I knew. Lots of people are calling me up and giving me ideas about what my plans should be. But I honestly don’t know. I get a year off, and so I think I’m going to take part of that year and just read a lot of the books that I’ve been wanting to read. I want to redo my course in the politics of healthcare, and so I need to spend some time doing that. I may write a book but I’m not sure. But I honestly don’t have any plans. All I’ve done this year is say ‘no’ to anyone who wanted to put anything on my calendar. SM: Recently, the Counseling Center has limited its visits so that students can only go 15 times per academic year. Are there any plans in the near future, that you know of, to increase funding for the Counseling Center to maybe improve the facilities and not have to limit visits? DS: The counseling center’s decision was appropriate for a university, and I think that the Hurricane editorial had it exactly right. They looked at the numbers. Ten percent of the students were eating up most of the resources. ... The Counseling Center is a success center. ... I think every student will be able to get access to the kind of help they need, and if we don’t have the kind of help they need, then they probably need to find it someplace else. ... But there is a limit, because when you say, ‘we should add resources,’ you’re paying for it. I’m not anxious to increase the student fee for health resources.

NICK GANGEMI // PHOTO EDITOR INDUSTRY INSIGHT: NBCUniversal Vice Chairman Ron Meyer offers advice about his career and life experiences, and shares his views on the future of the television and film industry. The event took place Monday in Shoma Hall.

Senior Sean Steinberg, who attended the event, felt the discussion was honest and helpful. “In all of his responses, it never felt like we as students were being pandered or talked down to,” he said. “He held a frank discussion about the nature of the industry, and while not everything he said was meant to be encouraging in a cliche sense, he gave practical advice to anyone with a real desire to work his or her way in from the bottom.” Matt Head, a junior majoring in motion pictures, shared a similar opinion. “Ron Meyer was incredibly frank with us students about to enter the industry,” he said. “Ron’s advice that through hard work, determination and a bit of luck we could be successful in Hollywood was relieving.” Meyer thinks the industry’s biggest challenge is the cost.

“If you spend more than you make, costs keep going up,” he said. “Sixty-five to 70 percent of movies made are f lops. You make great movies, but you make bad movies, too. It’s an imperfect business.” When addressing the question of where students should get started to be successful in the industry, he said it’s all a matter of being in the right place at the right time. “You may be special as individuals, but as students, everyone goes to college nowadays,” he said. “For me, to get ahead, people had to die, quit or go to jail.” The best thing to do to be successful in the field, he advised students, is not to give up. “Stick with it. It’s the hardest part, but that’s it,” he said. “The good news for those of you who refuse to give up is that a lot of you will give up.”

TTo view the full press conference, visit umtv.miami.edu.

October 16 - October 22, 2014

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First-year director works to bridge art, academia Deupi hopes to transform Lowe into ‘laboratory of art’ BY ZACHARY DEVITA CONTRIBUTING NEWS WRITER

Since joining the Lowe Art Museum as its new director in August, Jill Deupi has set her sights on expanding the museum’s perspective. Deupi plans to add displays that incorporate academic areas like math and science into the exhibits in hopes of attracting a wider body of student patrons. She believes the inclusion of these other areas of focus will raise the interest of students who are not directly involved in the art program. Deupi’s experience with art includes her time working at Fairfield University in Connecticut as the founding director and chief curator of the Bellarmine Museum of Art. She also worked as an assistant professor of art history at Fairfield since 2008. She specializes in 18th century European art, neoclassicism and museology. As of 2010, she had curated nearly 20 temporary art exhibits. Her desire to work for a larger museum with more artwork led her to the Lowe, where she believes she can find a balance of an academic environment and special galleries. The fact that the museum is located on campus sparked her interest, as its location helps embed it into UM’s community. “I was looking to move on to a bigger organization, and the Lowe’s scope fit perfectly,” she said. “The Lowe allows us to be more experimental; we can use that freedom to become a laboratory of art.” Deupi appreciates the chance to tinker with different exhibits. She is interested in how the Lowe responds to the school’s curriculum by incorporating certain programs to discuss, write or debate about the Lowe and its art. She also recognizes the

freedom of being part of an academic community where there is a “brain trust” of ideas that she wants to tap into. Although Deupi just recently joined the Lowe, the art enthusiast already has plans for the future. She hopes to ensure the stability of the organization and expand to include not only architecture and art history students, but all students with a unique lens or perspective on the world of art. “Art is a communal language. It is what makes us human,” she said. Deupi’s passion is already felt by the museum’s other employees. “She is going to be great for the Lowe,” said Janie Graulich, the museum’s visitor services manager. “When I realized how creative she is and how much enthusiasm she has, I knew she was the right person for the museum.” Senior Jessica Ilias, who serves as the gift shop manager, was similarly enthusiastic. “Her fresh perspective is bringing more student awareness to the Lowe and more of an outreach to the community,” she said.

UPCOMING EVENTS AT THE LOWE 7 P.M. OCT. 23 The Arnold and Augusta Newman Lecture Series in Photography: Deborah Willis 10 A.M. NOV. 4 Donation Day 4:30 P.M. NOV. 6 Fine Art of Healthcare Workshop 7 P.M. NOV. 6 LoweDown Happy Hour For more information, visit miami.edu/lowe/index. html.

HALLEE MELTZER // ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR FRESH PERSPECTIVE: Jill Deupi hopes to attract diverse visitors to the Lowe. She became director in August.

STUDENT ORGANIZATION

Club aims to eliminate modern-day slavery Establishment of Miami chapter brings issue to campus BY DANIELLE REID CONTRIBUTING NEWS WRITER

Last year, junior David Beltran heard the heartfelt message of Gary Haugen, founder of International Justice Mission (IJM), a human rights nonprofit organization. This inspired Beltran to establish a chapter of IJM on campus to educate his peers about how modern-day slavery affects the lives of people today. “What we’re trying to do here is raise awareness,” he said. “We’re raising our voices and raising support to end modern day oppression and injustices. There are people whose land has been unfairly seized by the gov-

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ernment and people who are being unjustly incarcerated.” IJM is also partnering with local child advocacy center Kristi House, a nonprofit that responds to child sex trafficking cases in Miami-Dade and aids in supporting the victims’ emotional and health needs to connect with the outside community. While IJM’s primary focus is contributing to efforts of abolishing modern-day slavery, it also fights for a multitude of issues seen as aggressions against basic civil liberties, including sexual violence, abusive law enforcement practices and governmental property grabbing. When he began building the club, Beltran sought the assistance of people from an organization he was already heavily involved in, Campus Crusade for Christ. With their help, he organized a group that was committed to IJM’s goal of improving the lives of those still living under slavery.

October 16 - October 22, 2014

“[Slavery] is a huge issue in Miami, in the U.S. and in the world,” said David Duba, a member IJM. “IJM empowers students who are capable in a lot of different ways ... It’s only the first year, and I’m impressed by the energy of the e-board and by the president’s ability to push the new club into existence and get so far.” Beltran believes that the option of fighting against such slavery and global oppressive forces should be available for UM students. “The campus really needs this organization because there’s no one else on campus making it their mission to represent modern-day slavery,” he said.

INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE MISSION International Justice Mission meets 8 p.m. every other Wednesday in UC 205.


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Music mentorship inspires kids

Board chair talks presidential search

Volunteer opportunities available to UM students BY RENEE VESSELINOVITCH CONTRIBUTING NEWS WRITER

Chad Bernstein, an alumnus of the Frost School of Music, is helping provide musical mentorship to at-risk students through the Guitars Over Guns Organization (GOGO). GOGO is an after-school program that matches local musicians with students at North BERNSTEIN Miami Middle School and Allapattah Middle School once a week to teach music. Bernstein came up with the idea for the organization while working with at-risk kids shortly after moving to Miami in 2002. A friend of Bernstein’s, who was a teacher, convinced him to volunteer in local Miami public schools, teaching and performing for underprivileged kids, including kids with disabilities and those in juvenile detention centers. Bernstein had always had “an intense desire to do good” and, after having volunteered only a short time, he was hooked. After graduating from UM in 2006, Bernstein was given a full scholarship to complete his master’s degree. He founded the nonprofit foundation GOGO during this time. The GOGO program was born out of a strong wish to provide kids with the opportunity to learn how to play music, an opportunity that Bernstein saw disappearing from school curriculums and budgets. “With so many of our middle schoolers having never touched an instrument, we feel a responsibility to pay forward the same opportunities to be exposed to music that we had as young people,” Bernstein said.

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The three components of the GOGO program are mentoring, instrument training and ensemble instruction, which Bernstein sees as equally important in the curriculum. Although he believes a structured curriculum is critical to success, he also believes it is important to listen to the kids and deviate from the curriculum when necessary. Bernstein’s own experience with spontaneous teaching occurred when his students asked to go to the beach. “I asked why they wanted to go to the beach so bad, and they said that they have never been there,” he said. “They live in Miami, miles away from the beach, and they had never been. It broke my heart.” Gary Lindsay, a UM Frost School professor, the program director for studio jazz writing and a GOGO donor, has long been a loyal supporter of the organization. “GOGO is offering these students, through mentorship, positive and nurturing role model,” he said. “For some, their music lesson may be the only positive experience for the week.” Sherrine Mostin, GOGO’s program director, works with Bernstein to develop the curriculum. While she loves working with GOGO, she admits that working with these kids, who are often emotionally and socially unstable, is a challenge. “One of the most challenging aspects I found was working with the kids who are unruly and disruptive,” she said. “But as one might expect, the ones who are very hard to deal with usually turn out to be the kids who need it the most.” Mentor volunteering is open to all UM students, and teaching takes place from 4 to 5:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday with the possibility of Saturday opportunities in the near future.

BY ERIKA GLASS MANAGING EDITOR

Stuart A. Miller, chairman of the Board of MILLER Trustees, appointed the 13 members of the Presidential Search Committee that will select President Donna E. Shalala’s successor. The Miami Hurricane sat down with Miller to discuss the search process thus far. THE MIAMI HURRICANE: Can you go over the process and how it has been going? STUART MILLER: Well, we’re at the very beginnings of a process right now. The first part of that process was to assemble a search committee, which you probably noted last week, the search committee was announced. And that is the group of people that are going to be carrying out, under the leadership of Richard D. Fain, the search for our next president. The process they will go through is a process of first reaching out to various parts of the university and broader community to get feedback – to try to form a view as to the kind of person that would best meet the needs of the university in terms of taking it forward into its next level. TMH: Correct me if I am wrong, but were you supposed to chair the search committee and then defer to Fain? How does that process work? SM: I am the chairman of the Board of Trustees of the university. It is a normal process that the chair of the Board appoints a chairman, and then ultimately, as I have done, an entire search committee to take on that search. Alexander Gonzalez contributed to this report.

GUITARS OVER GUNS For more information about Guitars Over Guns, visit guitarsoverguns.org.

USTOP DIABETES Sponsored by the University of Miami School of Nursing and Health Studies and the American Diabetes Association, the second annual UStop Diabetes event will be raising awareness with diabetes screenings, fitness activities, healthy cooking demonstrations and healthy snacks.The awareness event is free and open to the public, and will be held from 10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. on Oct. 22 at the Lakeside Patio.

KATHAKALI DANCE PERFORMANCE NICK GANGEMI // PHOTO EDITOR ON CALL: David Coleman, the “Dating Doctor,” offers students dating and relationship advice during his show Tuesday night in the SAC Ballrooms.

Selection committee open to campus input

A three-man troupe touring U.S. universities to perform Kathakali, a traditional dance of India, will be making a stop at the University of Mi-

T read the rest of this Q&A, visit To themiamihurricane.com.

ami. The performance consists of using facial expressions and gestures to tell stories, along with elaborate costumes and dramatic makeup. At 10:30 a.m. on Oct. 22, the performers will be having a makeup demonstration in Room 211 of the University Center, followed by a performance at 12:30 p.m. at the Lakeside Patio.

‘AMERICAN PROMISE’ SCREENING Sundance award-winning documentary “American Promise,” which addresses race in the American school system, will be screened at 6:30 p.m. on Oct. 23 at the Cosford Cinema. The film follows two African-American boys as they enter one of the most prestigious private schools in the country.The event, hosted by the University of Miami School of Law, will be folOctober 16 - October 22, 2014

lowed with a lecture by the film’s director in the Student Activities Center Senate Room.

HOMECOMING OPENING CEREMONIES Homecoming kicks off at 6 p.m. on Oct. 23 at the Lakeside Patio.The festivities will begin with the Opening Ceremony, featuring a screening of “Ratatouille,” and student organizations will compete for best dessert, presentation and costumes in the competition, “Cooking Up Some []_[] Spirit.” Food will be provided. Emily Dabau may be emailed at edabau@themiamihurricane.com.

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OPINION speak UP HOW DO YOU REACT WHEN YOU SEE PEOPLE SMOKING ON CAMPUS?

“I don’t get upset, but I definitely feel disrespected. I’m walking by, I see someone smoking and I have to breathe it in. It’s not fair. They should follow the rules.”

KAVAN KIRK SOPHOMORE

MONIQUE WILLIAMS JUNIOR

“It’s not really my place to tell them not to smoke. They can make their own choices, but if there’s a ban, they really shouldn’t be smoking on campus.”

“I really don’t mind the smell of the smoke. If they’re sitting down somewhere and I’m going to class, or even if I’m sitting right next to them, I really don’t mind.”

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STAFF EDITORIAL

Smoking ban needs enforcement If you ever see clouds of steam rising from the sidewalk on a rainy day, don’t worry; that’s just the humidity. But if you see similar plumes of smoke emanating from a person’s mouth here on campus, you have a right to be concerned. Sixteen months after the University of Miami enacted the smoke-free policy, it is common to see people lighting up, sometimes next to no-smoking signs. Such displays of disobedience disrespect the administration that implemented the policy as well the students, faculty and staff forced to inhale noxious fumes where they should be guaranteed clean air. Yet the steps toward improving the ban’s effectiveness are shrouded in fog themselves. The smoke-free campus policy places the burden of enforcement on students, faculty and staff, encouraging them to “directly and politely inform those unaware of the policy or remind those in disregard of it.” Of course, it wouldn’t hurt for smokers to be reminded of the re-

sources that exist to help them kick their habit, and Canes, after all, should care for Canes. However, case-by-case personal intervention is not enough to suppress disregard for the rules. If the bystander effect demonstrates the relative inability of individuals in a crowd to act toward preventing a crime, how likely is a person to challenge a stranger about his illicit cigarette? Hesitation to appear rude, officious, or to interfere in someone else’s life choices, even if those choices inconvenience others, impels many to avoid face-to-face confrontations with transgressors. Their overtures would likely prove ineffective anyway. While the attention drawn to his indiscretion may embarrass a smoker into snuffing out his cigarette, there is little to prevent him from lighting up as soon as the person issuing the reproach turns the corner. The problem does not ultimately lie in lack of awareness about the ban. “Breathe Freely” signs posted all across campus

make it difficult to persist under the illusion that smoking is permissible. More likely, those who choose to break this rule do so because they have never been made aware of any penalties that violation of this ban may incur. Although smokers should be informed about dangers to their health, more immediate repercussions, such as those administered by law enforcement, would prove more compelling motivators for smokers to abstain. But smokers on campus are not just flagrant rule-breakers – they are also victims of an addictive habit. A crackdown by law enforcement risks targeting the symptom and ignoring the disease. In the end, neither gentle chastisement by individuals nor aggressive compulsion by police will suffice to eliminate these violations. It will take a whole barrage of extinguishers to stifle the smoke. Editorials represent the majority view of The Miami Hurricane editorial board.

Body cameras only short-term solution

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RAHID CHADID JUNIOR

SPEAK UP ANSWERS ARE EDITED FOR CLARITY, BREVITY AND ACCURACY. COMPILED BY SHERMAN HEWITT

ecently, the Miami Beach City Commission decided to equip city employees with body cameras. This means that police, fire, parking, code and building inspectors will be wearing cameras to film their interactions with citizens. Many cities have been ANNIE CAPPETTA pushing for police body cameras, POLITICS but outfitting municipal workers COLUMNIST is an unprecedented move for Miami Beach lawmakers. The initiative came after allegations of corruption among public officials and excessive use of force among city police. Tragic police shootings, especially in Ferguson,

Missouri, were the final push for the unanimous passing of this action. This program has been lauded for obvious reasons. Accountability is necessary, especially in places with a reputation for police corruption. The footage could also provide more accurate testimony for crime in court. This might prove integral in criminal trials because eyewitnesses can be unreliable. On the other hand, this action has caused a lot of concern. Not only does it violate the privacy of public officials, it violates the privacy of citizens as well. Police can use their cameras whenever they please, and that means constant monitoring of city activity. That is a scary proposition for many Miami Beach residents. Another obvious concern with the program is its cost. The city allotted $3 million to buy cameras. This cost will

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alexander Gonzalez

BUSINESS MANAGER Christopher Dalton

MANAGING EDITOR Erika Glass

SALES REPRESENTATIVES Frank Carey Halima Dodo James Hillyer Chris Hoffner Jordan Llano Rebecca Strickland

ART DIRECTOR Sarbani Ghosh PHOTO EDITOR Nick Gangemi ASSISTANT PHOTO EDITOR Hallee Meltzer

MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Erika Jackson

NEWS EDITOR Marlee Lisker

AD DESIGNER Katherine Lee

OPINION EDITOR Alexa Langen

DESIGNERS Emma Deardorff Madeleine Trtan Savannah DeBrosse

EDGE EDITOR Ashley Martinez SPORTS EDITOR Courtney Fiorini

ONLINE EDITOR Lyssa Goldberg

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Danny New

WEBMASTER Georges Duplessy ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Isabel Vichot

ASSISTANT EDITOR Emily Dabau COPY CHIEF Sherman Hewitt

FACULTY ADVISER Ileana Oroza

COPY EDITORS Julie Harans Lainey Meiri Alina Zerpa

FINANCIAL ADVISER Steve Priepke

To reach a member of the staff visit themiamihurricane.com’s contact page. ©2014 University of Miami

The Miami Hurricane is published semi-weekly during the regular academic year and is edited and produced by undergraduate students at the University of Miami. The publication does not necessarily represent the views and opinions of advertisers or the university’s trustees, faculty or administration. Unsigned editorials represent the opinion of The Miami Hurricane’s Editorial Board. Commentaries, letters and cartoons represent only the views of their respective authors. The newsroom and business office of The Miami Hurricane are located in the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200. LETTER POLICY The Miami Hurricane encourages all readers to voice their opinions on issues related to the university or in response to any report published in The Miami Hurricane. Letters to the editor may be submitted typed or handwritten to the Student Activities Center, Student Media Suite 200, or mailed to P.O. Box 248132, Coral Gables, Fla., 33124-6922. Letters must be signed with a copy of your Cane Card. ADVERTISING POLICY The Miami Hurricane’s business office is located at 1330 Miller Drive, Student Activities Center Student Media Suite 200. The Miami Hurricane is published on Mondays and Thursdays during the university’s fall and spring academic terms. Newspapers are distributed for free on the Coral Gables campus, the School of Medicine and off-campus locations. DEADLINES All ads must be received, cash with copy, in The Miami Hurricane business office, Student Activities Center Student Media Suite 200, by noon Tuesday for Thursday’s issue and noon Friday for Monday’s issue. SUBSCRIPTIONS The Miami Hurricane is available for subscription at the rate of $50 per year. AFFILIATIONS The Miami Hurricane is a member of the Associated Collegiate Press, Columbia Scholastic Press Association and Florida College Press Association.

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Power shift problematic

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ritics of the George H. W. Bush administration’s neoconservative, hawkish foreign policy cite the thousands of American causalities, hundreds WILL of thousands of Iraqi SCHAUB POLITICS causalities and trilCOLUMNIST lions of dollars spent as proof of failure. Barack Obama ran two highly successful election campaigns on promises of being the “anti-Bush.” America would “reset” with Russia, “pivot” to Asia and would no longer engage in wars it deemed reckless or unnecessary in the face of American security. The administration and its allies have had the audacity to call Obama’s foreign policy a platform based on realism. Clearly they misunderstand this term and the history behind it. Following two horrific world wars, the United States emerged as the world’s sole hegemon; that is, America was the most powerful, most influential and most wealthy country in the world. This allowed America to dictate world affairs, global trade and the course of history. It is easy to criticize the actions of past presidents, but ultimately the Cold War never turned hot, and the dreaded World War III never broke out. Presidents who commanded strength, who had faced down the Soviet Union, who were true leaders, maintained world order. With Obama’s presidency, we are entering a new dawn. America may no longer be the world hegemon and a mul-

tipolar world may emerge, but what does this mean? A monopoly on power and military might have kept the peace through the latter half of the 20th century. Conflicts broke out and wars were waged, but ultimately violence was contained and regional actors never seized towards bigger ambitions for fear of American retaliation. This country’s military might and the willingness to use it scared the bad guys away. The coming troubles that a multipolar world will bring are starting to become apparent. Just turn on your TV or pay attention to the news: Russia is seizing a neighboring country, and China is provoking and agitating its regional neighbors. Both Russia and China are heavily funding, growing and modernizing their militaries while ours is in a state of decline. America is no longer leading allies in Europe and Asia, leaving them to question our resolve and commitment to defense treaties. The multipolar world without America at its helm will see many more regional conflicts, like the one in Ukraine, creep up. No longer will regional actors behave out of fear of retaliation, and no longer will the balance of power be weighed in democracy’s favor. To those who wished for American decline, for American retreat from the world stage and for a multipolar world out of anger for our previous president, I congratulate you. Your dreams are coming true. I just hope you’re ready to face the consequences. Will Schaub is a senior majoring in political science and English.

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Police must rebuild trust increase as the program expands to more officers and technology improves. After events in Ferguson and beyond, police corruption has ceased to be a problem we have the privilege of ignoring. It’s become a deadly threat that can unravel a community. When a neighborhood is on the brink of a similar disaster, there needs to be an immediate patch on the situation to ease tensions. This increased accountability could provide that patch for the communities that need it the most. But the fundamental problem with this law is just that. This is a short-term solution to a problem that has been in this country since Jim Crow. It addresses no 8

OPINION

underlying causes. Police violence comes from a militaristic mentality. Many police departments have a culture of viewing citizens and criminals as the enemy, as “other.” A person can be good or bad, a criminal or a victim, never both. The way to truly change this mentality isn’t by making police feel watched, but to rebuild trust in the community. Programs that get police officers involved in community activities like tending gardens, coaching youth sports leagues and being educational mentors may be more successful in repairing this broken mentality. Annie Cappetta is a freshman majoring in political science and ecosystem science and policy.

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October 16 - October 22, 2014

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DONATELA VACCA // CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER

Key Biscayne: Miami’s ‘hidden treasure’ BY DONATELA VACCA CONTRIBUTING EDGE WRITER

A massive bridge propels visitors into clear blue skies, making it seem like there is no land – just water and sun. With the hectic city life out of sight, suddenly the white sand and peaceful shores become more alluring as guests soar above Biscayne Bay and down into a getaway paradise known as the islands of Virginia Key and Key Biscayne. The ocean and a bridge are all that detach these barrier islands from the rest of Miami, giving them the feel of a faraway haven, despite being only 15 minutes from campus. Senior Gabriella Canal explained that since the island is separate from the rest of Miami, the feelings she gets from visiting its beaches are pure bliss and relaxation. “Knowing that not every single tourist will be invading the beaches and streets makes me really comfortable and at peace,” Canal said. “I go to Key Biscayne because it’s a paradise within

another busier paradise, and I do so when I want to get away, but not so far away.” Enclosed by Bill Baggs Cape Florida State Park and Crandon Park, the 1.4-square-mile island is surrounded by an invigorating mass of nature and water, making it ideal for recreational activities. Beyond the beaches and parks, the island is home to various local dining and shopping options. The two most exclusive spots are those inside Bill Baggs Park: Boater’s Grill and Lighthouse Cafe, both of which overlook the extravagant skyline of Biscayne Bay. In the past few years, Key Biscayne has seen an influx of international residents, making the island a cultural hub of traditions and customs, thus leading to more diverse dining options. The island has also raised the bar in terms of coffee shops and traditional French boulangeries, housing more than four coffee

houses that offer classic French pastries and delicacies until late in the afternoon. Visiting these patisseries has become an islander tradition, making these spots social centers for daily gossip and chitchat. Kari Madera, a realtor who moved to the island from Hawaii 33 years ago, explained that Key Biscayne is attractive because of its diversity in activities, cultures, traditions and natural surroundings. She went on to describe what makes the island a true gem. “The island has no through traffic, it is safe, it has numerous amenities and it makes you feel like you live in an oasis, but just 20 minutes away from true civilization,” Madera said. It is true the island might eventually loose its charm as it becomes more popular, but for now it remains a hidden treasure within the busy streets of manic Miami. Check out our map of more Key Biscayne destinations at themiamihurricane.com.

Must-have travel apps for fall getaway BY EMILY DABAU ASSISTANT EDITOR

Between packing, catching connecting flights and exploring a destination upon arrival, successful traveling requires appropriate planning and expertise. For both frequent and infrequent travelers, there are apps available to help with any journey. When planning for your fall break getaway, make sure you’re prepped with the apps that can ensure your traveling is as smooth as possible.

Roadtrippers

Price: Free, App Store and Google Play With this app, you can enter your start and end points, and they will then be developed into a route complete with suggested attractions to visit along the way. It categorizes the suggested stops and also provides contact information, website addresses, reviews and photos for each of the points. The app is customizable with a personal itinerary listing your travel plans and allowing you to add spots you want to visit and refer to them throughout your trip.

GateGuru

SeatGuru

Price: Free, App Store and Google Play For those moments when you’ve made it to your gate and are looking for some last-minute grub before boarding your plane, this app can help you find your favorite nearby food stop. It will also show other shops and services in the airport, all with ratings and reviews from fellow travelers. All your travel information, including your itinerary and flight numbers, can be stored in the app for easy tracking to make managing your trip easy. For those looking to rent a car, the app allows you to do so right from the convenience of your phone.

Price: Free, App Store and Google Play This app helps with all aspects of making your flight enjoyable, from finding an affordable ticket to selecting the best seat. It compares flight prices among different airlines and travel agencies to find the best deal. Once you’ve purchased a ticket, to assist you in finding the best seat on your flight, SeatGuru provides seat reviews from other travelers based on legroom, proximity to the bathroom and other factors. By entering your flight number, you can access a seating map for your plane and choose the best seat according to comments and pictures from other travelers’ experiences.

Roadside America

Packing Pro

Price: $2.99, App Store only If you’re an eccentric architecture enthusiast or enjoy finding hidden spots to explore on the road, then this app can help you during your travel. Roadside America shares information on unusual eateries, interesting buildings and attractions. It even has a sunset alert that will notify you when it’s time to take a snapshot at the end of the day for an Instagram-perfect picture.

Price: $2.99, App Store only This app lets you compile a list of all the things you need to pack for your trip by category. As you go, you can check off the necessities you have ready in your bag, from essentials like your passport and cash to clothing, toiletries and accessories. The categories are customizable and allow you to create lists within lists to make sure nothing is forgotten.

October 16 - October 22, 2014

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Sundance shorts shine at Cosford BY SIRISHA GADDIPATI CONTRIBUTING EDGE WRITER

Girl meets boy. Girl falls in love with boy. Boy murders girl. Welcome to the Sundance Short Film Tour. This past weekend, the Bill Cosford Cinema screened eight short films from the world-renowned Sundance Film Festival. The movies were extremely diverse, from straightforward storytelling to ironic pieces perfect for filling that hipster-sized hole in your heart. The Cosford Cinema will be screening “Jurassic Park” at 9:30 p.m. Saturday. “The Two Faces of January” and “Love is Strange” will screen Friday through Sunday. Visit cosfordcinema.com for showtimes. Cue the cuteness with “Love. Love. Love.,” which juxtaposes scenes of rural Russian life with voice-overs of people describing love and relationships at its different stages, from first love to maturing emotions and old age. It was absolutely adorable. “I Think This Is The Closest To How The Footage Looked” was easily the most heart-wrenching film I have ever seen. The entire piece was shot with household objects representing the protagonist’s family members: he is played by a door handle, his father a pencil sharpener, his sister a statue of a fairy. He recreates the scene of his mother’s death, telling the viewers that his father was filming this exact scene in real life. Though low-budget and incredibly simple, this true story is so powerful and important. Some films are too ambitious, like “Dawn,” which follows a young teen in the 1950s. Dawn is looking for some excitement in her mundane life and finds it in the form of an exciting boy who turns out to be much more than she’s able to handle. It’s a terrifying reveal of human nature, thinly veiled by the composure of 1950s society. But “Dawn” attempts too much for its time slot; it leaves too many questions and not enough subtleties to understand. “I’m a Mitzvah” stars Ben Schwartz, known for playing the obnoxiously hilarious JeanRalphio Saperstein in “Parks and Recreation.” Schwartz reigns as the unfortunate friend tasked with delivering a dead friend’s body from Mexico back to his hysterical mother. The grief of PHOTOS COURTESY adjusting to his friend’s death COSFORDCINEMA.COM coupled with his exhausting journey back home lends for an odd, comically tragic adventure. Schwartz is dynamic and on point with his humor. This film is the ideal blend of comedy and tragedy. It was a perfect way to end the festival. 10

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Rock opera breaks boundaries BY ASHLEY MARTINEZ EDGE EDITOR

When a sultry rock opera meets a sordid love triangle, the passion and over-the-top emotions explode into the powerful production of “Murder Ballad,” playing at the Actors’ Playhouse at the Miracle Theatre through Nov. 2. The Miami Hurricane had a chance to sit down with Mariand Torres, a University of Miami alumna who plays the narrator in “Murder Ballad.” We spoke with Torres about her sassy character, the sexy production and why “Murder Ballad” is a cautionary tale. The Miami Hurricane: Can you tell us a little about “Murder Ballad” and about your character? Mariand Torres: So ‘Murder Ballad’ is completely, fully sung through. So it’s sort of in an opera style; it’s a rock opera, I guess. A murder ballad is a song, like the song by The Beatles ‘Maxwell’s Silver Hammer,’ songs about love gone wrong and love gone awry. It’s a tradition; it’s a narrative song so ‘Murder Ballad’ is sort of using that form, so we are telling this story, a tale, of love gone wrong and who dies. And how they die is a mystery, and I can’t give it away. At the core, it’s about the things that push us. I think we all have this part of us that can snap, and it’s about when all of those inhibitions and all of those filters in us kind of, like, go away, and the things that drive you to do something crazy. And my character, I’m the narrator, so I narrate the story for the audience. That’s about all I’m gonna say, is I tell the story, I introduce the piece, I introduce the characters and I sort of lead them through this crazy, 90-minute journey. TMH: How would you say you’re most similar or different from the narrator? MT: I think there’s something kind of fun-loving about her that I can totally relate to. She’s a sassy girl and she’s pretty honest and there’s ... yeah, I think there’s a very fun-loving spirit about her and an intensity that for some reason I didn’t even know I had until I auditioned. And I was like, ‘oh ,wow, this is really easy for me to access, like, this girl’s intense and it’s easy for me and I like it and I get it.’ But again, we definitely have our differences, but I can’t give too much away. I have to be really careful about what I say. TMH: Why should students from UM come to this show? MT: Because it is nothing like what they have seen in South Florida. Immersive theater is something that’s getting really big in New York. There were three big immersive musicals last year Off Broadway, one of them was ‘Murder Ballad,’ the other was one that I did, Natasha Pierre. I think Actors’ Playhouse is one step ahead of the game right now, and you need to experience this. Also, the music is accessible; it’s rock music. It’s not what you think of when you think of a traditional musical. It’s really real, it’s really raw, it’s really sexy – you’re gonna see some hot people. The environment is really cool ... I mean, it’s set in a bar, and if you get there early, you can get a seat right there in the middle of the action and sit there enjoying an awesome show while having a drink. It’s a really cool experience. It’s really accessible to young people, I think. I really want to encourage the younger crowd to come see this because I think they would really appreciate it. And I think especially people who don’t know much about musical theatre and have made their as-

October 16 - October 22, 2014

PHOTO COURTESY ACTORS’ PLAYHOUSE AT THE MIRACLE THEATRE DEADLY DESIRES: During “Murder Ballad,” Sara (Blythe Gruda) and Tom (Chris Crawford) engage in an affair that creates a love triangle between the two and Sara’s husband that ends in a murder.

sumption about what it even is. So their minds will be changed. TMH: What do you hope people leave the show with? MT: Well, I hope they had a lot of fun. And I really hope they don’t follow the footsteps of the characters and their actions because they’re not the best ones. But it’s all about entertainment, and I hope they leave feeling that was a really awesome hour and a half and ‘I want to come back because I need to see this again.’ That’s a cool thing because the show is immersive. Anywhere you sit, you will get a different experience. So, you sit in one side of the theatre and it’s gonna be a different experience, and it will make you want to come back because you know, ‘oh there’s something that somebody was doing on that other side, that looked really cool so I should come back and see it from that perspective.’ I hope they leave having been extremely entertained for an hour and a half. And there’s also some really beautiful, touching moments. It’s built on relationships and the things that happen to us in relationships, and relationships gone wrong or the mistakes we make. So I hope they leave learning what not to do or feeling understood. You know, this is a very extreme example of things that we all go through. So you leave feeling a little understood, like, ‘OK, I’ve seen these patterns in my relationship,’ and it makes you feel a little less alone. But again, do not try this at home. Read the full Q&A to learn about Torres’ Broadway career and her “Wicked” role, as well as the review of “Murder Ballad” at themiamihurricane.com.


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SPORTS 4.47 279 kills per set for Savanah Leaf, leading the ACC

total kills for Savanah Leaf this season, leading the Canes

FOOTBALL

ACC analysis reveals surprises, disappointments Canes to take on Virginia Tech after bye-week BY NEIL DWYER STAFF SPORTS WRITER

As Miami enters its bye-week, the ACC as a whole has offered the usual favorites with a side of surprises, so let’s check them out. Miami: The Canes have a 4-3 overall record with their win over Cincinnati on Saturday, but are stuck with a 1-2 conference record, and their ACC slate from here on out doesn’t get any easier, although there are two winnable games coming up. Miami has historically had trouble in Blacksburg when they play Virginia Tech, but next Thursday they go to the Appalachians in search of glory against a downtrodden Hokie squad. Nothing has gone right for Tech ever since their week two upset at Ohio State; they choked against Georgia Tech and lost to upstart East Carolina (looking back now, that isn’t much of a surprise.) Michael Brewer’s had a so-so time filling the shoes of Logan Thomas, and although he’s about 100 yards off Thomas’s senior pace, he’s tied with Wake Forest’s John Wofford with 11 interceptions. Then, North Carolina comes to town on Nov. 1 for homecoming. Don’t mistake their 2-4 record for total mediocrity. Although they’d rather forget a home loss to Virginia Tech, sandwiched around that loss were defeats at the hands of East Carolina, Clemson and Notre Dame – not exactly an easy slate. Carolina’s always been tough for Miami, and while I don’t see that changing, I could see Miami pulling out a 3834 win. Surprises: Nothing’s been a bigger surprise in the ACC than Virginia. Although a 4-2 record doesn’t seem like anything special, those two losses were to ranked UCLA and Brigham Young University. They upset Louisville in week three, and really have a very winnable schedule down the stretch, except for the Florida State game, meaning Virginia could eas12

SPORTS

MATTHEW TRABOLD // CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHER PROUD PLAYER: Senior offensive lineman Jon Feliciano (No. 70) celebrates a touchdown by Phillip Dorsett during Sunday’s game against Cincinnati. Wide receiver Dorsett was named ACC player of the week along with linebacker Tyriq McCord and quarterback Brad Kaaya.

ily be a nine or 10-win team. They control the ACC Coastal right now at 2-0 coming into a matchup against Duke on Saturday. What’s gotten them there has been the defense – three Cavaliers are in the ACC top 10 in sacks. Boston College’s Tyler Murphy has also been a breath of fresh air for the program. Although the Eagles aren’t exactly smelling the oranges anytime soon, the quarterback transfer from Florida has

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 16 - October 22, 2014

probably been one of their greatest allaround players in recent memory with 761 passing yards and 711 rushing yards, making him good enough to be the team’s rushing leader. Disappointments: As fans know, Miami’s been a huge disappointment at 4-3 for the talent that they have. It’s a stretch to call Louisville a disappointment, as the ACC newcomers have only lost to upstart Virginia and Clemson.

They could be the team that upsets Florida State on Oct. 30. Louisville has been much more accustomed to playing on some Thursdays, being former Big East members, than Florida State is, and the game’s in Louisville. The Cardinals wrap up the season in Notre Dame and then home against the SEC’s biggest surprise, Kentucky, who is currently only one win away from being bowl-eligible and are in contention to take a bad SEC East.


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TENNIS

Tennis coach stresses hard work, competitive drive Since 2001, Yaroshuk-Tews has led Canes to victory BY EMILY EIDELMAN CONTRIBUTING SPORTS WRITER

It’s noon on an average Thursday. The University of Miami women’s tennis team practices in the blazing sun. In the corner of the court stands head coach Paige YaroshukTews. She balances words of encouragement with a fair amount of criticism as the players run through drills over and over again. Yaroshuk-Tews has been watching the UM women’s team play since she was a child. She recalls how well the team played and how their greatness inspired her. When she came to coach at UM in 2001, the team was ranked 37th in the country. It was during her first practice here as head coach that she decided to instill her work ethic on the court into her players. “Just working our tails off. That’s all we can do,” she said. That was Yaroshuk-Tews’ mindset when she began coaching. It had been her mindset for years as a player. Yaroshuk-Tews did not have the best stroke on the University of California at Los Angeles’ women’s tennis team. She was not top-ranked. What made her a great player,

though, was that she worked harder than anyone else. She did whatever it took to win. “Paige was one of those players that won a ton of matches by working that much harder,” UCLA head YAROSHUK-TEWS coach Stella Webster said. “She could outcompete anyone.” Other teams were afraid of her on the court. Even her teammates were intimidated, but they were also inspired. She built relationships with her teammates and, as captain, was able to instill her hard-working ethic into them. This trend continues now as she coaches her players. “Paige has found a way for her team to win just as she did when she was a player,” Webster said. “Her players bought into her philosophy of outcompeting every opponent. Miami is the perfect place for her to use her talents as a coach. She gets as much out of her players as she got out of herself.” Yaroshuk-Tews does not coach an easy practice. Her athletes are always condition-

ing, always drilling, always playing – always getting better. “That’s what we’re here for anyway, to get better,” Yaroshuk-Tews said. “Get comfortable being uncomfortable. If you can perform when you’re uncomfortable, like when you’ve got 400 people cheering against you at ACCs, you will be successful.” Success has been reached. YaroshukTews is the all-time winningest women’s tennis coach at UM. She has brought Miami to the NCAA’s “Elite Eight” six out of the past seven years. In the 2013 season, the Hurricanes won the ACC Championships. Yaroshuk-Tews does not plan for the success to dwindle anytime soon. “It’s all nice, but it’s not really why I coach. I mean anybody that knows me knows I’m not into all the numbers,” Yaroshuk-Tews described. “We’re trying to get better everyday. There’s a lot of kids before me dying on the tennis court and buying into my philosophies, and I’m getting the credit. It’s not me, it’s them. Really.” Even with all of the success, YaroshukTews appreciates a loss now and again. She feels her team benefits more from losing. Their competitive drive, the same competitiveness that Yaroshuk-Tews had on the court, forces them to learn from their mistakes.

“Sometimes we win and get away with a few small mistakes,” Yaroshuk-Tews recalls about a match last season against Michigan. “I don’t think we learned as much from it. I mean, when you have a competitive group of girls, you don’t want to lose. But they learn much more and come back stronger after a loss.” Yaroshuk-Tews’ student athletes love impressing their coach. Stephanie Wagner, who plays No. 1 on the team, chose UM partly because of Yaroshuk-Tews’ coaching. The players believe in her and trust that every comment or criticism, drill or punishment is given for a good reason. “I think we’re a really good team because she’s so tough on us,” Wagner says. “It’s hard sometimes, but it shows that she cares about me and she wants us to improve and do better. It’s why we accept her toughness. Her relationship with the team is really good.” The 2014 season marks YaroshukTews’ 13th year at UM. She does not plan on letting the upward trend of wins and successes level out anytime soon. “This is fun for me, this isn’t work,” Yaroshuk-Tews says with a smile. “The University of Miami is my home. If I’m not at ‘the U,’ I won’t be coaching, that’s for sure.”

VOLLEYBALL

Record-setting captain earns ACC Player of the Week title Leaf awarded after 2-0 weekend play BY COURTNEY FIORINI SPORTS EDITOR

The ACC announced that senior Savanah Leaf was selected as ACC Player of the Week on Tuesday, two days after she served as a key player in Miami’s 2-0 weekend. The University of Miami has won an ACC weekly award for three weeks in a row. Freshman setter Haley Templeton was named ACC Freshman of the Week on Sept. 29 and Oct. 6. Leaf tops the ACC with 4.47 kills per set. Leaf leads the Hurricanes with 279 kills. She dominated with 25 kills and 14 digs in a fourset win over Syracuse, making her sixth double-double of the season. “I am really grateful for the recognition,” Leaf said. “It really means a lot to me because it means that I am doing my job well.

I haven’t received it before, so it is really exciting.” Leaf has been a key player along with Templeton and redshirt senior, Emani Sims, in this year’s successful season. “I am really happy for Savanah,” head coach Jose “Keno” Gandara said. “She is having a great season. She does so many things for this team on the court. Savanah is not only our kill leader, but she is also one of our primary passers. Savanah also has a great serve and is one of our best blockers. She is playing volleyball at a high level and is getting more and more consistent week to week. She had another good week and she knows this team needs that from her as a senior captain.” Leaf set the record for most kills by a Cane at the Knight Sports Complex and tied Karla Johnson for most kills by a Cane in a single match. Johnson set the record on Sept. 3, 2005 against Houston.

PHOTO COURTESY HURRICANESPORTS.COM

October 16 - October 22, 2014

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SPORTS BRIEFS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL Head Coach Katie Meier’s contract has been extended through the 2021 season, but she will be giving some of that money right back. The Duke alumna announced immediately after that she will donate $75,000 to the University of Miami’s woman’s athletics. This is an effort to challenge South Florida and demonstrate support for female sports and the Hurricanes. So far, the school has already netted $500,000 in donations – including the single biggest gift in UM’s women’s sports history. Coach Meier will continue her regime Nov. 14 at the Bank United Center against Oakland.

VOLLEYBALL The Volleyball squad will play its annual “Dig Pink” match Friday at the Knight Sports Complex against Virginia Tech – almost a week after the football fans did the same. This annual event raises awareness and shows support for curing breast cancer. T-shirts with the “Dig Pink” logo can be purchased at the game for $10. All proceeds go to the UM Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center. Danny New may be emailed at dnew@themiamihurricane.com.

WEAR ORANGE & GREEN!

When you’re a part of the CIA, you can.

Oct. 29th (11am-2pm) Join the UM family on the Foote Green for prizes, giveaways, food, drinks & photos

Photo Contests

CanesSpiritDay

CanesSpiritDay : #theUstudent, #theUphotobomb, #UMstudentgroup, #theUemployee, #UMemployeegroup, #theUMalumni, #Udogsvscats Wear your most creative UM gear! Take a photo then upload it to Instagram # category before 5pm on November 3rd for a chance to win fabulous prizes.

www.miami.edu/canesspirit 14

SPORTS

THE MIAMI HURRICANE

@Canes Spirit Day October 16 - October 22, 2014

The CIA has paid student internship, scholarship and co-op opportunities in several fields of study. No matter what you do here, your contributions have great impact – and there is plenty to do. From accounting and finance, to economics, engineering and information technology, the CIA needs talented and intelligent professionals to continue the work that keeps our nation safe. The CIA is seeking motivated individuals with a sense of service for an exciting and rewarding yet challenging experience. Do you have that drive inside of you?

THE WORK OF A NATION. THE CENTER OF INTELLIGENCE.

For additional information and to apply, visit:

www.cia.gov

An equal opportunity employer and a drug-free workforce.


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DEAR V Do the dorky ...

This fall break leaves us some free time – and mainly some free time to get ready for the sluttiest, skankiest and sometimes creepiest holiday: Halloween. As “Mean Girls” so accurately delineates, Halloween is a time for exploring exactly how far our skimpy outfits can go. At this rate, girls might as well just say they’re dressing up as Tarzan. But ladies, I am here to tell you that there is a new way to attract men: “Dorky Wins.” Think about it, if you dress like Lena Dunham on “Girls,” you will only attract men who want to … 1. Get in your pants and then never call you 2. Get in your pants and then call you the next day at 3 a.m. 3. Piss off their ex-girlfriends 4. Piss off their ex-boyfriends 5. All of the above And since I doubt your self-esteem is that low, take V’s patented dorky option. Think about it; dorks are taking over America. “The Big Bang Theory” is one of the most popular television shows. Chris

Pratt in “Guardians of the Galaxy” was summer’s biggest winner. Engineering majors are more appealing than football players. So don’t you want to attract an intelligent, high-income-potential man who will bake you scones instead of bring you Keystone? Time. To. Get. Dorky. FIRST STEP: Watch at least five minutes of the following programs: “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” “The League,” “Breaking Bad,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” and “Mean Girls” (for some reason, all men like this movie). SECOND STEP: Don’t be Olaf from the Disney hit “Frozen.” THIRD STEP: Copy the costume of one of the characters from the first step. FOURTH STEP: No, really, don’t be Olaf. Don’t even bother writing about the struggles in your diary. FIFTH STEP: Google the best lines from the show and learn them. SIXTH STEP: Just wear big glasses. For some reason, it works. FINAL STEP: Don’t do any of these things.

You’re wasting valuable Netflix time. If there’s one reason being a slutty nurse on Halloween won’t attract the right demographic, it’s because that’s not who you are. You are not a slut. If you go to UM, then you are better than that. The best way to attract the right man is to … … cue Madonna … … express yourself. You do you, boo boo. That’s all I can say. Your friends will support you because you stuck to your beliefs, and so will men. In fact, you might even attract a man who likes the same crazy stuff that you do. All in all, just dress up as something you find funny or interesting – a pun personified, Daffy Duck, obscure ‘90s cartoon characters, etc. – and wear it well. Halloween is the best time to wear who you are on your sleeve so that everyone knows. V

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Ready to report? Want to be in the middle of the action? Write for The Miami Hurricane. Email Alexander Gonzalez at editor@ themiamihurricane.com

EXPERT MATH TUTOR Retired UM professor; all levels undergraduate and graduate. phone or text: 305-761-8670 email: expertmathtutor1@att.net October 16 - October 22, 2014

Follow The Miami Hurricane on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. @MiamiHurricane

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See what all the BUZZ is all about! UBuzz is a blog about University of Miami’s campus culture, Hurricane athletics and college life as a whole. TMH editorial staff members contribute to the blog with posts that include quizzes, music playlists, lists and more. We’re also looking for contributing bloggers. If you have an idea for a funny listicle, email online@themiamihurricane.com

Read the latest posts at themiamihurricane.com/section/blogs/ubuzz/. 16

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THE MIAMI HURRICANE

October 16 - October 22, 2014


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