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Celebrating Our 5th Year & the Holiday Season! Missing Madison When Good Parents Do Stupid Things How Grades Undermine Learning Making Learning Matter The Season Celebrating Holidays & Holy-Days Community Calendar Education Feature: Brookwood School
adison J. Provencher In honor and memory of M /6/12 1/28/96 - 11
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WINTER ISSUE: DECEMBER 2012 - JANUARY 2013
2 North Shore Children & Families
Family & Friends
Missing Madison (January 28, 1996–November 6, 2012) spring of 1996, shortly after I bought my home. He was a little bundle of fluff with a huge heart and soul, the runt of his litter. He was the first dog I had ever “owned”, though truth be told, he owned me. Madison – Matty, for short – was my constant companion. He came to work with me, he travelled with me. He loved me. And everyone he met loved him. He was like a little teddy bear with a heart of gold. He was smart and cute and full of personality. by Suzanne Provencher, Publisher (aka: Mama) As I write my column this month, sadness fills my heart. You see, I lost my little buddy in early November. Madison came to live here in the
A health issue at age 6 meant his life was very fragile, so I made plans and paths and found ways to make his life good. With each passing birthday, I would rejoice in his strong spirit.
Mama to 3. But Madison was my first – and miraculously, my last. He made it to my 50th birthday this passed summer. He filled my heart and home for almost 17 years. We were so lucky to get so many good years. And until his final few weeks, his health was pretty good for a little old man. I prayed to God to save him until I prayed to God to take him. I did not want him to go. He did not want to go. Wrapping your mind around the fact that you will have to make this decision is grueling. But necessary, especially when so much love is at stake.
Along our way, I rescued two more Yorkshire Terriers – becoming a Yorkie
His last day was wonderful. We gave him a send-off worthy of the King that he was to us. I bundled him up and my sister, his Auntie, and I took him for a last walk on Dog Beach. I bent down so he could smell the sand and sea grass. He was able to stand and mark his place on his beach one last time. He ate Filet Mignon for dinner, courtesy of his beloved Auntie. And a carrot, that she lovingly prepared for him then fed him by hand. And pizelles for dessert. He loved pizelles and cheese and Willow’s popcorn and eggs and he loved when I would cook for him.
On our last morning, I cooked his eggs and fed him by hand. He had a good appetite until the very end. His spirit and his will were strong, but his body had grown weak and tired. I applied his eye drops one last time, to be sure he could see me with his last breath. Mama will fix. Mama loves the boy. Mama took very good care of him, even on that fateful morning. On the ride over to see Dr. Myers, I let him drink water from the cap, one last time. I loved him and cared for him with the dignity that he deserved, until the final moment came. Dr. Myers cared for Madison and my two other pups, all now passed. He was Matty’s only vet throughout his 17 years. He would marvel each time he would see us for our annual checkups – astonished that he was still here, considering his neck and spine condition. And as he entered the little room on that final day, his first word said multitudes: “Legend”. And that he was. Dr. Myers navigated us through many challenges along our way – and we made it, under his love and care, to the finish line. I will be forever grateful for his kindness and care. We were more than patient/client to him. He went above and beyond for us and we loved him for it. It took mere seconds. I knew he was gone. But the heaviness in my heart got lighter. I did what I had to do. For him. Not for me. Always for him. I laid him on the table to take his little fleece coat off for the final time – my last duty as his Mama. I went out into the sunshine, ready to face the day I had long dreaded. Continued on page 18
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Letter from the Editor
When Good Parents Do Stupid Things by Michael F. Mascolo, PhD I would like to think of myself as a good parent. Of course, we all would like to think that. But even good parents occasionally succumb to weakness. We can do stupid things – sometimes more than once. Well, I did a stupid thing. Again. It was a Friday at the end of a long week. My kid tricked me. He said that he wanted to go and see a movie with me. It was only later on that he told me that he had invited a friend to go to the movie, too. But thinking that he wanted to go to the movie with me wasn’t the stupid thing I did. Well, maybe it was, but it wasn’t the stupid thing that I want to talk about. The stupid thing was taking my son and his friend to a movie without first making deep inquiries into the movie. I simply asked about the rating – PG-13. My boy is 13, so I thought to myself: “How bad can it be?” I took the boys to the movie. The movie? Taken 2. Apparently a sequel to Taken. My son told me that it was about a girl who has to rescue her mother after having been kidnapped. I thought that the movie was going to be something like Spy Kids. It wasn’t.
officer. In the original Taken, Agent Mills rescues his daughter Kim from a band of kidnappers. In the first Taken, Mills kills the kidnapper. Now the killed kidnapper’s father is out for revenge. He and his band of men kidnap Agent Mills’ wife in order to prompt Mills to seek her out. Their plan, of course, is to kill Agent Mills. The movie opens. We are treated to what at least I experienced as acts of extreme violence. In one early scene, we witness the father of the kidnapper trying to extract information about Mills from a CIA operative. The interrogator takes a knife and plunges it into (what we assume to be) the operative’s genitals. The operative screams in pain. Of course, this is only the beginning of the violence. I wanted to leave the movie at this point, and I should have. However, I did not want to be the bad guy and take my son and his friend out of the movie. That was an act of weakness and stupidity. It’s hard to recount the number of things that are offensive about this movie.
The hero of the movie, Bryan Mills (played by Liam Neeson), is a retired CIA
North Shore Children & Families
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Suzanne M. Provencher Publisher/Co-Founder/Managing Partner suzanne@northshorefamilies.com Michael F. Mascolo, PhD Editor/Co-Founder/Partner michael@northshorefamilies.com Designed by Group One Graphics Printed by Seacoast Media Group
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Continued on page 19
Celebrating Our 5th Year & the Holiday Season! You are reading our 2-month Winter Issue, which covers December & January.
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North Shore Children & Families
Learning
How Grades Undermine Learning As I walk to class, I often overhear the students talking. “What did you get on the test? An 89? I only got a 73. That was a really tough one.” “What did you get for Question 9? I put ‘b’, what did you put? You put ‘c’? Are you sure that was right?” “If you take Professor Blorney, he’ll give you a lot of reading. But if you just listen to his lectures and agree with him, it’s an easy ‘A’.” As I pass by students, I rarely hear them talk like this: “I just read about the Presidential campaign between John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. Turns out that they were pretty nasty to each other! I guess negative campaigning has a long history in the United States.” “I asked my professor what authors like Homer and Shakespeare had to do with everyday life. She suggested that I look at Shakespeare’s famous ‘to be or not to be’ soliloquy. It seems like Hamlet is faced with a choice – what is the moral thing to do?” “I always thought that DNA was the blueprint for the body. Today I learned that DNA can’t work alone. DNA acts differently depending on the chemicals that exist in the DNA’s environment. DNA isn’t a blueprint at all!”
Sometimes, I will hear good, well-meaning teachers encourage their students: “Good luck on your test!” “Good luck on your test!” What is the teacher wishing the student good luck for? Well, to do well on the test, of course! What does this tell us about the goals
of teaching and learning? It tells us, of course, that the goal of taking a class is to get the highest grade that one can! It’s the grade that is the focus of attention, not the learning.
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I can think of three basic reasons why we give grades to students: (a) to provide students (and parents) with feedback about a student’s progress; (b) to motivate students to perform their academic work; and (c) to separate the wheat from the chaff. Let’s examine each of these reasons. Grades as feedback for learning. Many of us think of grades as a kind of feedback about a student’s progress. To be sure, grades can be used in this way. Receiving a grade of “C” in a course or on a paper provides feedback that may or may not be useful. The “C” informs me that my performance was average (well, perhaps below average in our current atmosphere of grade inflation). As a result, I may choose to work harder to learn the knowledge or skills in question, or to raise my grade. But surely we are fooling ourselves when we say that we use grades to provide students with feedback about their learning. A “C” on a test is a rather crude form of feedback. While it gives me general information about how well I performed, it tells me nothing about what it is that I know or do not know. If a teacher genuinely cares about providing students with feedback about their learning, he or she can provide specific commentary about what a student has done well, what a student does not yet understand or know how to do and how to improve upon his knowledge or skill.
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But even this is not enough! If we genuinely cared about learning – and not simply performance – we would not stop at providing students with specific feedback about what they have learned and what they still need to learn; instead, we would give them the opportunity to improve their learning in the area in question. However, this rarely occurs. When a student gets a “D” on a history test, it is the rare teacher that provides a way for a student to improve his or her learning (and subsequently increase her grade on the test). Once the history unit is over, we move onto the next unit, regardless of whether or not students have mastered the knowledge in the previous unit. Students tend to get “one shot” at any given test or assessment. If this is so, then the giving of tests and grades cannot be about providing students with feedback about learning; there must be some other reason why we do this. Grades as motivators. A second reason for assigning grades has to do with motivating students to perform their academic work. In general, although we may not always like to admit this, this is a more honest reason for assigning grades. While many teachers and parents would like students to be “intrinsically motivated” to do their work (much like many children are intrinsically motivated to become good athletes), the simple fact is that most students are not inherently motivated. Our basic solution to this problem is to assign grades. Grades are the rewards or punishments that we give students to motivate them to put in the effort and engage in academic learning. The question of the extent to which grades motivate students is a controversial one. Some people believe that grading undermines the intrinsic value of learning to students; others see it as an evil that is nonetheless necessary to motivate academic effort. Still others note that some students seem unresponsive to grades, and seem undeterred by a threat of a poor grade for inactivity or a good grade for diligence. But one thing is for certain – the effectiveness of grades as motivators relies upon the extent to which they are valued by teachers, parents and students alike. This brings us to our third category. Grades as tools for ranking students. Grades cannot motivate students unless they have some value. And this leads us to the primary, I think, reason why we give grades to students: Grades function as tools for ranking students from highest to lowest. In this way, grades are the means by which we separate the deserving from the undeserving. Grades are used to determine who will Continued on page 6
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How Grades Undermine Learning Continued from page 5
addition, of course. After all, your goal was to teach her how to add!
ultimately be offered the good things in life – the best colleges, jobs, incomes and so forth. This simple truism explains why grades function as a type of commodity. Grades are the means by which we assign value to people – or at least to people’s level of knowledge and skill. Grades are like money; they function as a kind of exchange rate for determining the worth or value of what people can offer to the market – in this case, the “job market”. Grades are our tickets to a good future. How the Pursuit of Grades Undermines Learning Although we might like to think that we assign grades as a way of providing students with feedback about their learning, this is simply not the case. Grades provide students with feedback about their level of performance, not about their learning. The distinction between learning and performance is subtle but profound. Imagine that you want to teach your child addition. You show your child how to add two groups of objects. When she makes a mistake, you correct her. When she masters counting small groups of objects, you move on to adding digits. You teach her to add digits using her fingers. After she gains this skill (or even while she is doing so), you teach her how to memorize her simple number facts, and so forth. When do you stop teaching? When she has learned
Now, what happens when a child is working on a homework assignment? What is the goal here? The goal is most likely to complete the assignment, or to do a good job on the assignment. How do we know if the child has done a good job? We know this if she gets a good grade. In the case of the ordinary homework assignment (or a test or other assignment), the goal is thus to perform well on the task at hand. Our attention is not so much on learning, but instead on performing the task. Once the task has been completed, we’re done! This is how grades undermine learning. When we pursue grades, we ask ourselves: What hoops do I have to jump through in order to get the grade? My goal is to get the grade, not to learn how to add! Learning thus becomes incidental to the goal of getting grades. If my goal is to get the grades, then how I get the grades is not my central concern. I may do some learning in order to get the grades. However, I may also take the path of least resistance, learn only what I have to learn in order to get the grade, cut corners when I can, cheat or otherwise learn how to play “the game of school” rather than devote myself to the meaningful task of building skills and knowledge. How can we avoid the former and pursue the latter?
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Learning
Making Learning Matter It may or may not be true that we need to give grades in order to motivate students to learn. It may or may not be true that we need grades to separate students who are able to perform high functioning jobs and enter high status careers. However, let us at least be honest with ourselves. Assigning grades to motivate performance can detract from learning at least as much as it motivates learning. Using grades as a way to separate the deserving from the undeserving simply has little or nothing to do with promoting learning. How can we make learning matter? The practice of grading isn’t going away any time soon. Further, many experimental schools have attempted to do away with grades. At best, these efforts have met with mixed success. Without some form of external incentive, many students simply are not motivated to pursue academic study. We appear to be in a bind! If we give grades, many students will simply do the minimum in order to get the grade, and learning is compromised. If we don’t give grades, we will not be able to keep students in their seats. Again, learning is compromised. What’s an education system to do? Think “Learning”, Not Simply Performance What would happen if we truly started to value learning and not simply performance? What would happen if we said, “Your task is to learn how to add/write an essay/understand the circumstances leading to the American Revolution – not simply how to complete a worksheet or pass a test”? Here are some
steps that educators (and parents) can take to make this happen: 1. Reward mastery and not simply performance. What would it mean to reward mastery and not simply performance? It is the difference between laying bricks and building a cathedral. When a student performs an individual assignment (e.g., a test or worksheet), her attention is focused on the bricks – the specific outcome of the assignment. If, however, the task is a larger product – completing a project, learning addition, understanding the causes of the Civil War – each “assignment” is a mere step toward completing the project. The prize occurs when a student completes a project, masters a skill or is able to pull together the knowledge necessary to answer an important question. 2. Provide students with the opportunity to redo, revise and re-learn until they have reached a level of mastery. In my college classes, I give students continuous feedback on the projects that they complete for a course. A goal for a course might involve composing a multi-media presentation on a particular topic. The student might revise their presentation many times in response to specific feedback about his or her work. 3. Take away the distraction of grades – at least in the short term. In my classes, I give no grades until the very end of the course. This approach Continued on page 8
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Making Learning Matter Continued from page 7
functions to focus a student’s attention on their project rather than merely on performance. Because there is no immediate grade, the student’s attention is directed toward the feedback and on how to use that feedback to improve their work. Rather than working simply to get a grade, the student’s attention is devoted toward making the best presentation possible. Over time, students tend to shift their thinking about their assignments. They are still concerned about their grades, but they tend to become more interested in the quality of their work. 4. Reward outcomes that we truly care about – including caring itself. We want our students to care about their work. We want our students to be self-directed and self-motivated learners. We lament the fact that they often are not self-motivated. As a result, we use carrots and sticks (grades and penalties) to motivate students. After all, we can’t make our children care about learning! You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink! Although this is a popular belief, it is simply not so. Literally hundreds of studies performed on parenting and socialization converge on an important conclusion: The single most important set of circumstances that leads to compliance in children is the internalization of values. Children who show long-term compliance with parental rules and directives are those who have internalized parental values. The internalization of values is the only genuine route to long-lasting compliance with social and moral norms. Children from different cultures, religions and family traditions learn to care about different types of things. If this is true, then it is indeed possible to foster a sense of caring in our children. Children tend to internalize the values of parents and other socialization agents. Parents and teachers who live their values have children and students who do the same. Parents and teachers who care about learning teach children to do the same.
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Education Feature growth of each child at Brookwood, to encourage the development of decision-making skills and sound ethical sense, to consider a variety of social and moral issues, to help each student gain understanding of self and others, and to promote self-respect, selfconfidence, and self-esteem.” Fostering Artistic Expression Kids are full of creativity, and at Brookwood that is something to celebrate and empower. Brookwood students have many opportunities to express themselves artistically as well as musically, with all grade levels receiving art and music instruction several times each week.
They will succeed.They will excel.They will soar. Partnerships and alliances with world-class universities and organizations, reconfigured learning spaces in the Lower School, and the installation of turf playing fields are key components to Brookwood School’s new Strategic Plan.
Brookwood School – It starts here.
Nourishing the Developing Athlete Brookwood believes all children have an inner athlete. Through a carefully sequenced program focusing on skill development, individual and team play, and of course, sportsmanship, we encourage healthy competition and the pure joy of physical activity. Our comprehensive physical education program begins in Pre-K and culminates in Grade Six. Following that, students in Grades Seven and Eight participate in interscholastic games, choosing amongst eight different sports (with two levels, varsity and junior varsity). Intramurals are offered for students seeking non-competitive options. Moving to Secondary School Brookwood students matriculate to the finest public, parochial, and independent day and boarding schools in the country. The majority of the Class of 2012 was accepted to their first or second choice secondary school.
What starts here? In a word, everything. At Brookwood, we know that it is within a warm, child-centered school that children become confident, successful, life-long learners. We know that what matters most during the 4 to 14 elementary school years is providing a school environment in which children are happily engaged in their learning and where students are intellectually challenged, supported and encouraged by teachers and peers alike. The strong partnership between Brookwood and parents adds to this community of support and care for high academic goals. Our graduates today are well prepared for the future because they have felt personally recognized and emotionally safe in their elementary school. This year, Brookwood implemented a new Strategic Plan. With global interconnectedness through partnerships and alliances with world-class universities and organizations, the installation of two turf athletic fields, and reconfigured learning spaces in the Lower School, Brookwood is poised to bring today’s students to their tomorrows. Dedicated to Academic Innovation Our children will inherit a complex world and preparing them requires a program of both balance and breadth. In a time when many schools are cutting programming and trimming staff, Brookwood has continued its tradition of academic innovation. Brookwood’s curriculum employs the most current methodologies, focusing on inquiry, experience and collaboration rather than simply rote memorization –and it introduces age-appropriate challenges with each subsequent grade level. Whether it’s expanding coursework in the “outdoor classroom” in science, building upon social curriculum in Lower School, beginning the study of French and Spanish in Grade One and the study of Mandarin in Grade Five, or partnering with MIT’s D-Lab in Upper School Science, Brookwood teachers and administrators continuously analyze, improve and strengthen the program offered to our students. Guiding Brookwood students is a top-notch staff of teachers who have graduated from many of the country’s finest colleges and universities; four out of five of them hold advanced degrees. Brookwood’s teachers love teaching kids and are keenly aware that superior learning springs from their ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships with their students. For full curricular descriptions by department visit brookwood.edu. Click the “Academics” tab and go to “Curriculum at Brookwood.” A Commitment to Community and Cause Brookwood believes that who a child will become is just as important as what a student will master. Teachers work to help students “develop their best selves,” whether it’s learning to listen respectfully to everyone’s best efforts in class or helping a friend who’s had a fall on the playground. Children in all divisions are encouraged to treat their peers with kindness and respect. These values are taught explicitly in PGD (Personal Growth and Development) classes. PGD is designed, “to nurture the personal
Brookwood knows how students learn is as important as what students learn; collaborative problem solving is encouraged at all grade levels, from PreK through Grade Eight.
LOCATION & FACILITIES. On 30 wooded acres on Boston's North Shore, the Brookwood campus is minutes from Route 128 on the Beverly/Manchester line. The campus features a 15,000 volume library and learning center; a state-of-the-art science department with four laboratory classrooms and a 1,000- square-foot “science gym” for experiment and study; a Writing Center; two acoustically-designed music classrooms, a professional recording studio and several practice rooms; three art classrooms; clay studio with kiln; two computer labs; more than 285 computers throughout the school; 25 classrooms with interactive SmartBoards; a four-classroom world language center with a 16-station computer lab; one synthetic turf athletic field, one grass field; two gymnasiums; and a dining room. ADMISSIONS. The best way to get to know Brookwood is to visit our campus. Open Houses during 2012-2013 will be held on: Tuesday, December 4, from 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.; Sunday, January 27, from 1 - 3 p.m; Thursday, February 7, from 8:45-10:45 a.m. Walk-ins are welcome. If you know you will attend, you can also RSVP to 978-526-4500. To learn more about Brookwood, please call 978-526-4500 or visit brookwood.edu. One Brookwood Road, Manchester, MA 01944
The information contained in this education feature was submitted by Brookwood School, and published in partnership with North Shore Children & Families; www.northshorefamilies.com.
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The Season
The Christmas Truce
It is a story that has been told often, but it is a true one. It is Christmas Eve, 1914. British and German troops are battling each other in the front line trenches of the Western front. As evening arrives, troops on both sides take a break from the fighting. Soon, British troops hear the sound of the German troops singing. They are singing Christmas Carols. “English soldier, English soldier, a Merry Christmas, a Merry Christmas!” This was coming from the German soldiers! Soon, both the British and German soldiers will find themselves singing, talking and even kicking soccer balls back and forth in which has been called The Christmas Truce of 1914. Here is one soldier’s account of this extraordinary incident. The letter was found and translated by Marian Robson (see www.christmastruce.co.uk/heath.html). North Mail: Friday, January 9, 1915 The night closed in early – the ghostly shadows that haunt the trenches came to keep us company as we stood to arms. Under a pale moon, one could just see the gravelike rise of ground which marked the German trenches two hundred yards away. Fires in the English lines had died down, and only the squelch of the sodden boots in the slushy mud, the whispered orders of the officers and the NCOs, and the moan of the wind broke the silence of the night. The soldiers’ Christmas Eve had come at last, and it was hardly the time or place to feel grateful for it. Memory in her shrine kept us in a trance of saddened silence. Back somewhere in England, the fires were burning in cozy rooms; in fancy I heard laughter and the thousand melodies of reunion on Christmas Eve. With overcoat thick with wet mud, hands cracked and sore with the frost, I leaned against the side of the trench, and, looking through my loophole, fixed weary eyes on the German trenches. Thoughts surged madly in my mind; but they had no sequence, no cohesion. Mostly they were of home as I had known it through the years that had brought me to this. I asked myself why I was in the trenches in misery at all, when I might have been in England warm and prosperous. That involuntary question was quickly answered. For is there not a multitude of houses in England, and has not someone to keep them intact? I thought of a shattered cottage in – and felt glad that I was in the trenches. That cottage was once somebody’s home. Still looking and dreaming, my eyes caught a flare in the darkness. A light in the enemy’s trenches was so rare at that hour that I passed a message down the line. I had hardly spoken when light after light sprang up along the German front. Then quite near our dug-outs, so near as to make me start and clutch my rifle, I heard a
North Shore Children & Families voice. There was no mistaking that voice with its guttural ring. With ears strained, I listened, and then, all down our line of trenches there came to our ears a greeting unique in war: “English soldier, English soldier, a merry Christmas, a merry Christmas!” Friendly Invitation Following that salute boomed the invitation from those harsh voices: “Come out, English soldier; come out here to us.” For some little time we were cautious, and did not even answer. Officers, fearing treachery, ordered the men to be silent. But up and down our line one heard the men answering that Christmas greeting from the enemy. How could we resist wishing each other a Merry Christmas, even though we might be at each other’s throats immediately afterwards? So we kept up a running conversation with the Germans, all the while our hands ready on our rifles. Blood and peace, enmity and fraternity – war’s most amazing paradox. The night wore on to dawn – a night made easier by songs from the German trenches, the pipings of piccolos and from our broad lines, laughter and Christmas carols. Not a shot was fired, except for down on our right, where the French artillery were at work. Came the dawn, penciling the sky with grey and pink. Under the early light we saw our foes moving recklessly about on top of their trenches. Here, indeed, was courage; no seeking the security of the shelter but a brazen invitation to us to shoot and kill with deadly certainty. But did we shoot? Not likely! We stood up ourselves and called benisons on the Germans. Then came the invitation to fall out of the trenches and meet half way. Still cautious we hung back. Not so the others. They ran forward in little groups, with hands held up above their heads, asking us to do the same. Not for long could such an appeal be resisted – beside, was not the courage up to now all on one side? Jumping up onto the parapet, a few of us advanced to meet the on-coming Germans. Out went the hands and tightened in the grip of friendship. Christmas had made the bitterest foes friends.
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The Gift of Gifts Here was no desire to kill, but just the wish of a few simple soldiers (and no one is quite so simple as a soldier) that on Christmas Day, at any rate, the force of fire should cease. We gave each other cigarettes and exchanged all manner of things. We wrote our names and addresses on the field service postcards, and exchanged them for German ones. We cut the buttons off our coats and took in exchange the Imperial Arms of Germany. But the gift of gifts was Christmas pudding. The sight of it made the Germans’ eyes grow wide with hungry wonder, and at the first bite of it they were our friends for ever. Given a sufficient quantity of Christmas puddings, every German in the trenches before ours would have surrendered. And so we stayed together for a while and talked, even though all the time there was a strained feeling of suspicion which rather spoilt this Christmas armistice. We could not help remembering that we were enemies, even though we had shaken hands. We dare not advance too near their trenches lest we saw too much, nor could the Germans come beyond the barbed wire which lay before ours. After we had chatted, we turned back to our respective trenches for breakfast. All through the day no shot was fired, and all we did was talk to each other and make confessions which, perhaps, were truer at that curious moment than in the normal times of war. How far this unofficial truce extended along the lines I do not know, but I do know that what I have written here applies to the [missing words] – on our side and the 158th German Brigade, composed of Westphalians. As I finish this short and scrappy description of a strangely human event, we are pouring rapid fire into the German trenches, and they are returning the compliment just as fiercely. Screeching through the air above us are the shattering shells of rival batteries of artillery. So we are back once more to the ordeal of fire. Private Frederick W. Heath
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The Season
Christmas, Incorporated by Jennifer Blair, Reader Contribution I remember when I first figured out what Christmas was all about. It wasn’t about getting presents or even giving them. It wasn’t about Santa Claus and Rudolf. I realized that it wasn’t even about me. After years of asking Santa for presents and all of the ginger pop excitement of waiting for the big day, I realized that Christmas was about love.
and Happy New Year!
From all of us, at Austin Preparatory School!
just a bit earlier. Now, when I hear a Christmas carol on the radio, I don’t feel nostalgic feelings of love, connection and excitement. Instead, I simply feel manipulated. I am aware that my treasured tunes are being used as a ploy to get me to buy more stuff.
Of course, now it seems so obvious! But it wasn’t back when I was an innocent little girl, or a gangly teen or even a budding young woman. It was one of those eureka moments that just pop into your mind and makes everything make sense. It was something that you kind of knew all along, but then you really knew. And when you finally know it, you are certain that everyone else knew it all along and you were the only one who didn’t know it. But now you are ashamed to say it because, well, everyone will think you’re not so smart for not knowing it sooner.
I love giving gifts! However, when the Christmas advertisements appear, I feel pressured. I feel the obligation to go to the mall and purchase pricy presents to convince the people I know and love that I know and love them. In the all too mortal words of Michael Scott (Steve Carell) in The Office, “presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can Anyway, there it is. Christmas is about point to and say, ‘Hey man, I love you love and connection. this many dollars worth.’” But you know it’s so easy to forget this. We hear so much about the commercialization of Christmas. It’s such a cliché to speak of the commercialization of Christmas. Yes, we all lament the fact that Christmas is commercialized. But cliché or not, Christmas, Incorporated is real. And while we tend to accept it as business as usual, it threatens my hard won epiphany of what Christmas is all about.
Now that is some funny stuff. But it’s funny only because of the truth that it contains. I think we really do think this way now. Perhaps we always have, I don’t know. But if we do, then what’s the antidote? Do we give less expensive gifts in a deliberate attempt to buck the trend? That’s no real solution, because it is still using money as the measure of love.
In the end, there is really only one solution. If Christmas is about love, An example: I love Christmas carols. then what Christmas does is to Christmas carols are beautiful. When I heighten our sense of love and hear them, I feel transported to a connection. The antidote to a more benevolent place. However, with Corporate Christmas is simply to do each newly approaching Christmas what we do out of love. A gift given season, it seems as though the radio out of love can never be wrong. stations play these merry melodies
North Shore Children & Families
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The Season
Holiday Stress: Dealing with Your Obnoxious Cousin The holidays can be joyful. The holidays can be stressful. No, we can’t pick our families. For many of us, the holidays are a time to reconnect with family – even those family members with whom you may not want to reconnect! How do we manage with the stress of having to deal with Cranky Auntie Carol or Obnoxious Cousin Bob? There are two broad strategies for dealing with difficult relatives. The first is directed toward making connections; the second involves putting up boundaries. Making Connections Every Christmas Day, you have a big family dinner at Grandma Nana’s house. Everyone is there. Nana is a loving grandmother, nurturing to a fault, anticipating your every need. Nono makes his famous Christmas Stew, after which he sits in front of the television watching football. The cousins are there. Nell is always interesting, with her stories about her busy life in advertising in New York City. Nell’s brother is her foil, a tree-hugging environmentalist. It’s fun to watch how they banter and gently tease each other. Cousin Bob is a different story. Bob seems nice enough. But he sucks the air out of the room by having to monopolize every conversation. He always has to be the center of attention, challenging others around the dinner table with his
provocative comments. On the other hand, Aunt Alice is just a crank. For Alice, the glass is always half empty. Everything was better in the old days, and nothing that happens today is ever really good. It’s hard to live up to her Continued on page 14
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Holiday Stress Continued from page 13
exacting standards. How are we to manage the stress of being around Alice and Bob? Our first reaction is generally to simply muddle through. Bob and Alice aren’t going to change; we only see them once or twice a year; just tolerate them. If they become too much to tolerate, we might simply ignore them or avoid them as best as possible. These, of course, are reasonable strategies; we rely upon them often. An alternative approach involves figuring out what drives Bob and Alice. We all act the way that we do for a reason. We act out of some sort of need or interest. If you can identify the need that a person is trying to fill, you can often understand his or her behavior. Further, if you can identify the inner interest or need that drives a person’s difficult behavior, it is often (but not always) possible to diffuse the difficult behavior, at least for a while. Why might Cousin Bob feel the need to direct attention to himself? We all have a need to be acknowledged in some way. Bob may feel this more acutely that others. Bob, like everyone else, wants to be able to feel good about himself – and perhaps he does not unless he feels that other people think that he is the expert at everything. If this is Bob’s need – if he wants his ego stroked so badly – one possible solution is to find a way to explicitly stroke his ego: “Bob, you seem to know an awful lot about climate change – what do you think can be done about it?” It is likely that Bob will go on a while about climate change. But perhaps – just perhaps – if you give him your undivided attention
and make him feel valued, he might begin, perhaps slowly, to give up the floor to others. Why? Because he got what he wanted; he feels valued for his knowledge. With that need met, he may be able to let go of the floor. What about Auntie Alice? Why is she such a crank? Why does she have to criticize everything? Perhaps she has seen a lot in her life, and feels left behind by modern life. What would happen if someone were to commiserate with Alice rather than ignore her? Or perhaps Alice is a crank because she feels that she has some wisdom that is not being recognized. What would happen if someone took the time to really understand what Alice has to offer and even acknowledge her wisdom? If Alice’s crankiness is the result of such a need, simply feeling understood might be enough to bring her around. Putting Up Boundaries Of course, these strategies could backfire. Cousin Bob may simply seize the floor and refuse to let it go – even after he gets the recognition that he seeks. Auntie Alice may continue her curmudgeonly ways, and view your attempt to acknowledge her wisdom as an opportunity for even more crankiness. When this happens, it’s time to put up some boundaries. It’s time to say, at least within the privacy of your own experience: “Okay, that’s enough. I’m not going to let you in; I’m not going to let you bother me.” There are several ways to place boundaries around what you will accept and what you will not accept from difficult people. The first has already been stated – put the boundaries up “in your head”. You don’t have to say anything to the troublesome relative; you simply resolve not to be bothered by him or her. Eleanor Roosevelt is credited for having said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission”. The same is true of being annoyed by difficult people. We can simply choose to distance ourselves from the offending
person; when we do that, what they say and do becomes much less important to us. In more difficult cases, it may become necessary to articulate your boundaries. Your father-in-law consistently makes sexist or racist remarks when he speaks to you. One way to erect some clear boundaries is to identify the conditions under which you will interact with the offending person. To do this, it is often effective to identify three things: (a) what you appreciate about the offending person, (b) what you will not tolerate from the offending person, and (c) the conditions under which you will interact with the other person. For example, you might say, “Roger, I really enjoy talking with you about cooking. I think you are a fountain of information about French cooking! However, I feel insulted when you say things like “women are cooks, but men are chefs”. I want to continue to talk about cooking, but only if you find that you can stop making comments like that.” Of course, the most difficult cases are those in which the other person is simply unable to adjust his or her behavior regardless of what you might say or do. At this point, perhaps the best solution to the problem is to put up clear and firm boundaries. I will come to the party, but I’m going to steer clear of Aunt Matilda and Cousin Curt. Take Some Time It is often helpful to stop, wait and reconsider before you decide that your difficult relatives are simple incorrigible. So consider taking some time. Compassion and kindness can go a long way, especially if you are able to identify what it is that drives your relative’s irritating behavior. It is usually more effective to manage difficult behavior by connecting with others than by disconnecting with them. You might be surprised with what a bit of active compassion can do.
North Shore Children & Families
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Beyond The Season
Celebrating Holidays and Holy-Days Christmas is one of the most important holidays in the United States. Over the past century, it has, of course, undergone considerable secularization. Many Americans celebrate Christmas, even those who do not attend church regularly, and even many who would not call themselves Christians. So, in this way, Christmas is both a secular “holiday” and a religious “holy-day”. The prominence of Christmas in our culture creates complications. In the United States, approximately 78% of Americans identify themselves as Christian. Approximately 24% identify themselves as Catholic, while 51% identify themselves in terms of one of
the many Protestant denominations. Together, those who identify themselves as Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist or Muslim make up about 5% of the population. Approximately 18% of the population do not identify themselves with any particular religious denomination. Approximately 10% of the population identify themselves as atheist, agnostic or otherwise secular and unaffiliated with any religion. Further, up to 33% of Americans identify themselves as “spiritual, but not religious”. Thus, while a majority of Americans identify themselves as Christian, not all Americans are Christians. Further, even among selfidentified Christians, a sizeable Continued on page 16
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North Shore Children & Families
Celebrating Holidays and Holy-Days Continued from page 15
proportion does not identify themselves as strongly religious. Even though only 78% of Americans identify themselves a Christian, research suggests that 91% of Americans celebrate Christmas. This includes 97% of all Christians, 89% of individuals who identify themselves as agnostic or as having no religious affiliation, 62% of non-Christian religions and even 55% of those who identify themselves as atheists! Further, while the vast majority of Americans celebrate Christmas, for most Americans, the religious dimension is not what is most important about Christmas to most Americans. Eighty-one percent of Americans identify family as the most important aspect of their celebration of Christmas. Most Americans organize their Christmas celebration around secular rather than religious rituals. For example, 89% of
Americans celebrate Christmas by exchanging gifts; 86% share meals with family and friends; approximately 80% put up a Christmas tree, listen to Christmas carols and decorate their homes. Against this backdrop, the question of how to celebrate Christmas can be a sensitive topic. Christmas has its origins as a religious holiday. In modern times, Christmas has been largely secularized, even as it retains many of its religious elements (e.g., 47% of American households report that they attend religious services on Christmas or Christmas Eve). So, is Christmas a religious holiday or a secular holiday? Clearly it is both. The Status of Non-Christian Religious Holidays in the United States The dominance of Christmas raises questions about the status of other
types of religious celebrations that occur during this time of year. As a result, public discussion of the Christmas holidays often includes reference to holidays celebrated by other religions at this time of year (e.g., Chanukah among Jews; Kwanzaa among African Americans, and so forth). While this practice is intended to recognize the status of all religious holidays that occur during this time of year, ultimately, it fails to do justice to the holidays celebrated by nonChristian religious traditions.
Although Christmas is an important holiday for Christians, even though non-Christian religions celebrate holidays around this time of year, those holidays do not tend to be the most important holidays for those religions. For example, much is made of the celebration of Chanukah among Jews – a celebration which commemorates the freeing of the Jews from slavery in Egypt. Many people draw parallels between Chanukah and Christmas. For example, both involve the giving of gifts and displays of lights. However, not only does Chanukah have nothing at all to do with Christmas, it is not one of the more important Jewish holidays. The most important Jewish holidays include Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (The Day of Atonement). Rosh Hashanah is the first day of the period known as the Days of Awe. The Days of Awe is a ten-day period during which time Jews
engage in deep reflection upon their actions over the past year. They engage in a process known as teshuvah, which involves turning toward or returning to God. During the Days of Awe, Jews seek forgiveness for their sins but also resolve to become better persons over the course of the next year. The Days of Awe end with Yom Kippur – the Day of Atonement. Yom Kippur occurs on the tenth day of the Days of Awe, and falls on the Sabbath (which begins on Fridays just before sundown). Friday evenings are reserved for Shabbat, which is a time of rest involving the cessation of all labor. Shabbat is the most important and holy day of the week. It is celebrated with a Shabbat dinner and often by attending Sabbath services during the evening. The Day of Atonement falls on the Sabbath and is devoted to the task of atoning for the sins of the prior year. During the day, Jews engage in a fast, restricting food and drink. When evening comes, Yom Kippur is celebrated with the traditional Shabbat dinner and services.
Respecting the Diversity of Religious Holidays If we want to show respect for the diverse ways in which Americans celebrate religious holidays, we cannot do so simply by focusing on the Christmas season. To be sure, the dominance of Christmas calls attention to the fact that while most Americans celebrate Christmas, not all Americans celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday. Acknowledging the diversity of non-Christian holidays that occur around the Christmas holidays is not a way of showing respect for the diverse ways in which Americans practice religion. In fact, by emphasizing non-Christian holidays that occur around Christmas, we run the risk of perpetuating the idea that those holidays are variations of the Christmas holidays. A proper respect for the diversity of religions practiced in America would honor those holidays that are most important to Judaism, Islam, Hindi, Buddhism and so forth, regardless of when those holidays fall on the calendar.
North Shore Children & Families
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18 North Shore Children & Families
I find comfort in the poem, The Rainbow Bridge. I see him running with Chelsea and Brandon, his pals who passed before him. I picture him in my Nanna’s and Nan’s loving arms. But I miss him. I will always miss him. How lucky I have been.
Missing Madison Continued from page 2
My house is now quiet and still. I am peeling away the layers of being his Mama for 17 years, figuring out my new purpose. He was my boy. He got the love I would have given to a child. He was my baby. As my Dad said, “He wasn’t like a big dog who looks old as he aged. He always looked like a little puppy.” I am blessed that my Dad, his Grampy, and my sister, his Auntie, accompanied me on that final day. We loved him and we helped him to face the end of his long life, with dignity and purpose. He was our little guy. He brought so much joy to all of us. I shared my journey with my Facebook friends, who generously shared so much love and support during my most difficult days. These were the angels who got me through the hardest moments. I am thankful to all of them for validating this cute little soul’s life and for being there for me.
Endings bring new beginnings, and I am looking forward to what comes next. But wherever I go, he will always be with me. Love that strong never dies. Love the people and pets in your life as much as you can. Celebrate what is – and what was. Appreciate all that you have before it is gone. Then rejoice in what was a wonderful gift.
"We three kings, bearing gifts...following yonder star." Madison, Chelsea & Brandon
He mattered. He was here. He was mine. I was his. As each day passes, the sadness fades and the gratitude remains. How lucky we both were to be so compatible.
How lucky we were to share our lives for so many years. How privileged I am to have had him in my life and for so long. And though he is physically gone, his spirit remains alive within me and our home.
He was a good boy. He was my boy. And I will miss him until we meet again on The Rainbow Bridge. I love you, Madison – aka Matty, Mister, Mitty Ditty, Doot Do, Stink, Rugrat. You were a very good boy for Mama. I love you, Little Man. Always. Now run, Mitty – run! Until next time – Suzanne (Mama) xo
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her into sexual slavery.
Continued from page 3
The father was left with no choice but to kill, and then kill again. How was I to explain to my 13 year-old that the movie was set up to make him feel that way? How do you tell a 13 year-old that movies are clever creations designed to depict the world in a certain way? It’s difficult. That’s why it’s important to research a movie before you bring along the kids.
I’ll limit it to a mere three. The first, of course, is the endless trail of gratuitous and realistic violence. I won’t say more about this. The second is the explicit theme of revenge. After the movie, I tried to explain my reactions to the film to my son. I tried to explain the idea that revenge spawns a never-ending cycle of violence. I described a series of real-life examples that illustrated alternatives to revenge. I described a situation in which a colleague diffused a potentially volatile situation at work by responding with a problem-solving attitude to an insulting remark made by another colleague. I described how a mother that I know had made the extraordinary choice to forgive a drunk driver whose irresponsible act had resulted in her son’s death. My examples failed to convince my son. After all, he had an air-tight case: The villains in the movie were evil. They not only kidnapped the hero’s daughter, but they were going to sell
The third offending aspect of this film was its depiction of the villains. The film takes place in Istanbul. The villains are all Arab-looking Middle-Eastern types of obscure origin. The film depicts a predictable course of events: Evil Arab-looking villains from a Middle-Eastern country take revenge upon the morally correct CIA agent who now becomes justified to use any form of force. We are treated to young Kim (the daughter) throwing hand grenades into downtown Istanbul; car chases in which the Western heroes break all kinds of laws and cause all types of damage to downtown Istanbul; and, of course, the
North Shore Children & Families Middle-Eastern villains being outsmarted by the special talents of Mills and his daughter. Movies like this are not benign; they help to create usversus-them stereotypes that provide the backdrop for the ways in which people – children and adults alike – think about personal and global relations.
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There is plenty of blame here to go around. I blame Hollywood for putting movies like this out there. But I also have to point the finger at myself. A quick glance on the internet would have revealed that this dud got a score of 21% on rottentomatoes.com. Mea culpa. I resolve to do better.
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Parent & Child Program for parents/caregivers with children ages 10 months – 3.5 years; at Cape Ann Waldorf School, Moraine Farm, Rte. 97, Beverly. “Morning Glory” & “Bachelor’s Button” classes feature a community of parents and children enjoying play, bread making, circle games, snack and conversation. Space is limited; call 978.927.1936 to register. Free monthly Enrichment Saturday Programs for 3-7 year olds at The Phoenix School, Salem; on Dec. 15 & Jan. 12. Call for details & to sign up: 978.741.0870.
GET TICKETS NOW: Raising a Resilient and Self-disciplined Child, featuring Dr. Robert Brooks, Psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, best-selling author & renowned speaker! At Tower School, Marblehead; Jan. 10, 2013, 7-9pm. $10 per person; tickets available online at www.towerschool.org/drbrooks. See ad on page 6. Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker, through Dec. 30; new production! www.bostonballet.org A Christmas Carol at North Shore Music Theatre, Dec. 7 – 23; 12 shows only! www.nsmt.org
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Parent-Child Playgroups at Harborlight-Stoneridge Montessori School, 243 Essex St., Beverly; 9-10:30am on Dec. 8 & 15. Toddler group for 15 mos.-3 yrs.; preschool group for 3-5 yrs. Free and open to all, but space is limited; RSVP to 978.922.1008.
Music Discovery Class for Infants & Preschool Children with Parent/Caregiver at HarborlightStoneridge Montessori School, Beverly; Tuesdays through Dec. 4, 9:3010:05am. Open to all, space is limited; RSVP to 978.922.1008. SoccerTots at Danvers Indoor Sports, a fun & engaging physical development program using games & activities based around soccer. For girls & boys 18 months to 6 years; see ad on page 19. www.aztecsoccer.com/TOTS_NSCF
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Have an Awesome Birthday Bash at The Little Gym! · Private party – clean, safe, beautiful facility all to yourselves. · Instructor led – great age-appropriate games and activities.
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Kenny Rogers, Dec. 22. At Lynn Auditorium: www.lynnauditorium.com. The Nutcracker, Dec. 15 & 16 at 2pm; $20, all ages. At Veterans’ Middle School Performing Arts Center, Marblehead. Performed by New England Ballet Ensemble. Tickets: 781.639.4424. DECEMBER 1: Happy 5th Birthday to North Shore Children & Families; first issue published in Dec. 2007! DECEMBER 2: Special Education Day CHA Celebrates CHAnukah, 10-11am; free for preschool age children w/parent/caretaker. At Cohen Hillel Academy, Marblehead. DECEMBER 4: Open House at Brookwood School, Manchester, 6:30-8:30pm. www.brookwood.edu Parent Info. Sessions, Grades 6-9, at The Pike School, Andover; 9-11:30am. www.pikeschool.org DECEMBER 5: Nutcracker Story Hour with Boston Ballet School at Marblehead Children’s Center, Marblehead; 10:30am. Story hour, learn dance; free
for children accompanied by parent/caretaker. DECEMBER 6: Registration deadline for final Fall Entrance Exam at Austin Preparatory School, Reading. Register online at www.austinprepschool.org; test date is Dec. 8. Parent Workshop, 6:30-8pm, at Brain Balance Achievement Center, Danvers. See ad on page 15. DECEMBER 7: A Christmas Carol opens at North Shore Music Theatre, Dec. 7 – 23; 12 shows only! www.nsmt.org DECEMBER 8: Hannukah begins at sunset. Final Fall Entrance Exam at Austin Preparatory School, Reading. Register online by Dec. 6 at www.austinprepschool.org. Parent-Child Playgroups at Harborlight-Stoneridge Montessori School, 243 Essex St., Beverly; 9-10:30am on Dec. 8 & 15. Toddler group for 15 mos.-3 yrs.; preschool group for 3-5 yrs. Free and open to all, but space is limited; RSVP to 978.922.1008.
North Shore Children & Families DECEMBER 9: International Children’s Day DECEMBER 10: Human Rights’ Day DECEMBER 11: Parent Info. Sessions, Pre-K to K, at The Pike School, Andover; 9-10:30am. www.pikeschool.org DECEMBER 12: Nutcracker Story Hour with Boston Ballet School at Peabody Essex Museum, Salem; 10:30am. Story hour, learn dance; free for children accompanied by parent/caretaker. Museum Enrichment Series for Adults at Lynn Museum, noon; free for adults. Bring your lunch – features guest speakers, authors, films, discussions & more. Call 781.581.6200 to reserve your space; coffee & soft drinks provided. www.lynnmuseum.org DECEMBER 15: Bill of Right’s Day Parent-Child Playgroups at Harborlight-Stoneridge Montessori School, 243 Essex St., Beverly; 9-10:30am
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on Dec. 8 & 15. Toddler group for 15 mos.-3 yrs.; preschool group for 3-5 yrs. Free and open to all, but space is limited; RSVP to 978.922.1008. Free Enrichment Saturday Program (10-11:30am) for 3-7 year olds at The Phoenix School, Salem. Call for details & to sign up: 978.741.0870. DECEMBER 20: December Art Show, 6:30pm, at The Phoenix School, Salem. www.phoenixschool.org DECEMBER 21: First day of Winter Mayan calendar ends… Look on the Bright Side Day! Application deadline for Austin Preparatory School, Reading. www.austinprepschool.org DECEMBER 22: Remembering Nanna Roderick on her birthday and always. xo DECEMBER 23: Remembering Mrs. Chelsea (2007-2012) xo Continued on page 22
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To explore your advertising options or to secure your space, please contact Suzanne at 781.584.4569 or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com. To learn more, please visit www.northshorefamilies.com.
From Our North Shore Family to Yours – We Wish You the Happiest of Holidays! Peace & Goodwill to All from North Shore Children & Families
22 North Shore Children & Families JANUARY 12: Community Calendar Continued from page 21
DECEMBER 25: Merry Christmas! DECEMBER 26: Kwanzaa begins DECEMBER 31: Remembering Tami Bertini (1992-2012) xo JANUARY 1: Happy New Year! JANUARY 8: Open House at The Phoenix School, Salem; 9-11am. www.phoenixschool.org JANUARY 10: Raising a Resilient and Self-disciplined Child, featuring Dr. Robert Brooks, Psychologist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, best-selling author & renowned speaker! At Tower School, Marblehead; 7-9pm. $10 per person; tickets available online at www.towerschool.org/drbrooks. See ad on page 6.
JANUARY 18 (NOON): AD DEADLINE: FINAL Advertising Space Reservation DEADLINE at NOON for ALL ADS in our Open House at Boston Ballet FEBRUARY issue! To advertise, School’s North Shore Studio in contact Marblehead; 9am-1pm. Dance classes suzanne@northshorefamilies.com! for adults & children. See ad on page 8. If you need our ad production www.bostonballet.org assistance, please confirm your ad size Free Enrichment Saturday Program and submit your ad materials by noon, (10-11:30am) for 3-7 year olds at Wed., January 16! You can see our The Phoenix School, Salem. Call for regular display ad rates, sizes, available details & to sign up: 978.741.0870. discounts & more at www.northshorefamilies.com. JANUARY 13: JANUARY 22 (NOON): Happy Birthday, Stevie! xo Community Calendar listings’ JANUARY 16 (NOON): DEADLINE at NOON for our FEBRUARY issue! Please submit your AD DEADLINE: If you need to listings for February events directly advertise in our FEBRUARY issue, through our website (see beg. of this and if you need our ad production Calendar for details). assistance, please confirm your ad size and submit your ad materials by Open House at HarborlightNOON TODAY! You can see our display Stoneridge Montessori School, ad rates, sizes, available discounts & more 9-11am, 243 Essex St., Beverly. www.h-sms.org at www.northshorefamilies.com or contact High School Information Night at suzanne@northshorefamilies.com. Clark School, Danvers; 7-9pm. www.clarkschool.com Open House at Tower School, JANUARY 23: Marblehead; 9-11am. Open House at The Phoenix School, www.towerschool.org Salem; 9-11am.
Wish you could give the person who has everything something they don't have?
Personalized Poems & Prose by Suzanne The perfect gift to enhance any special occasion. Clever verses for your invitations and thank you notes. Speeches, toasts and roasts. Birthdays • Graduations • Showers Weddings • Anniversaries • Births • Retirements • Holidays All Special Occasions
Life Celebrations
specializing in poignant, personalized eulogies – available in prose and in verse. Celebrate your loved one's life and share their story. Your guests will leave with smiles, fond memories and lots to talk about.
781.584.4569
or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com Samples available.
JANUARY 24: Open House at HarborlightStoneridge Montessori School, 9-11am, 290 Hale St., Beverly. www.h-sms.org Open House at Glen Urquhart School, Beverly; 9am (snow date is Jan. 25). www.gus.org Open Classroom at Clark School, Danvers; 9-10:30am. www.clarkschool.com JANUARY 27: Open House at Shore Country Day School, Beverly; 11am-2pm. www.shoreschool.org Open House at Brookwood School, Manchester; 1-3pm. www.brookwood.edu JANUARY 28: Remembering Madison on his birthday and always. (1/28/96-11/6/2012) xo FEBRUARY 2: SummerScape 2013, at Glen Urquhart School, Beverly Farms; 12-3pm (snow date is Feb. 3). Admission is free; meet over 70 day & overnight camps & specialized enrichment programs for children ages 4-18. See ad on page 2.
Service Directory
North Shore Children & Families
23
CHILDCARE
EARLY EDUCATION
SCHOOLS
SCHOOLS
Miss Wendy’s Childcare Salem 978.745.6728
Next Generation Children’s Centers Locations include Andover & Beverly 866.711.NGCC www.ngccenters.com
Austin Preparatory School Reading 781.944.4900 www.austinprepschool.org
Plumfield Academy Danvers 978.304.0273 www.plumfieldacademy.org
ENTERTAINMENT
Brookwood School Manchester 978.526.4500 www.brookwood.edu
Shore Country Day School Beverly 978.927.1700 www.shoreschool.org
Cape Ann Waldorf School Beverly 978.927.1936 www.capeannwaldorf.org
Tower School Marblehead 781.631.5800 www.towerschool.org
Clark School Danvers 978.777.4699 www.clarkschool.com
Waring School Beverly 978.927.8793 www.waringschool.org
Covenant Christian Academy West Peabody 978.535.7100 www.covenantchristianacademy.org
SUMMER CAMP FAIR
Terri’s Little Pumpkins Winthrop, Medford, Chelsea, Revere (Squire Rd. & Point of Pines) 1.888.FOUR.TLP www.terrislittlepumpkins.com COLLEGE SAVINGS PLANS
Lynn Auditorium Lynn 781.581.2971 www.lynnauditorium.com
Clear View Wealth Advisors, LLC Several North Shore locations 978.388.0020 www.collegecashpro.com
North Shore Music Theatre Beverly 978.232.7200 www.nsmt.org
DANCE INSTRUCTION
FUN & FITNESS
Boston Ballet School/NS Studio Marblehead 781.456.6380 www.bostonballet.org/school
Aztec Soccer/SoccerTots at Danvers Indoor Sports www.aztecsoccer.com/TOTS_NSCF See ad on page 19!
DEVELOPMENTAL LEARNING
GIFTS/SPECIAL OCCASIONS
Brain Balance Centers Danvers 978.705.9570 www.brainbalanceboston.com EARLY EDUCATION Beverly Children’s Learning Center Beverly 978.927.1269 www.bclckids.org
Personalized Poems & Prose by Suzanne Speeches, eulogies, gifts, verses for invitations, etc. See ad on page 22!
Happy Holidays!
February Issue Ad Space Deadlines: To advertise in our February 2013 issue, please contact Suzanne by noon, Wed., Jan. 16 if you require our ad production assistance – or by noon Fri., Jan. 18, if you will be submitting a completed ad that does not require our production assistance. Suzanne@northshorefamilies.com 781.584.4569
Glen Urquhart School Beverly 978.927.1064 www.gus.org Harborlight-Stoneridge Montessori School Beverly 978.927.0700 www.h-sms.org North Shore Christian School Beverly, Lynn, Marblehead 781.599.2040/Lynn 978.921.2888/Beverly www.nschristian.org
SummerScape 2013 at Glen Urquhart School Beverly Feb. 2 – See ad on page 2! SPECIAL ED. ADVOCACY Gold Advocacy Laura B. Gold, Esq. 617.780.7753 See ad on page 19! JLC Advocacy Lynnfield 781.334.4363 See ad on page 19! SPEAKER SERIES
The Phoenix School Salem 978.741.0870 www.phoenixschool.org The Pike School Andover 978.475.1197 www.pikeschool.org
Tower School, Marblehead, presents Raising a Resilient & Self-disciplined Child on Thurs., Jan. 10, 2013 Featuring Dr. Robert Brooks See ad on page 6! Get your tickets today!