North Shore Children & Families December/January 2010/11 by Michael Mascolo

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Celebrating Our 3rd Year & the Holiday Season! Gratitude is An Attitude What's So Hard About Gratitude? How Gratitude Makes Us Happy & Healthy Cultivating Gratitude in Children & Adults Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Work (and What Does!) Sweet Nothings Community Calendar

Enter to Win Tickets!

C May All of Your Holiday Wishes ome True! www.northshorefamilies.com WINTER ISSUE: DECEMBER 2010 - JANUARY 2011

North Shore Children & Families

Family & Friends

Celebrating Our 3rd Year & The Holiday Season! by Suzanne Provencher, Publisher Another year older – another year stronger – another year of sharing important tools, tips, ideas and information with local, North Shore families! We are THREE – and entering our 4th year of being a part of your family. Thank you, dear readers and advertisers, for your continued interest and valued support. We are here for you – and because of you. And while it may be our birthday, you can win the gifts again this year! Don’t miss our Reader Contest on this page – where you may win a pair of tickets to see Mary Poppins – appearing February17 through March 20 at The Boston Opera House!

The deadline to enter is January 15, 2011. If you would like to buy tickets to this family-friendly favorite, please see the back cover of this issue. Did I mention who played “Jane” in the 3rd grade (Bates School, Salem) production of Mary Poppins back in grammar school? And “Mary” (Tyla!) is still one of my dearest friends today. We can’t wait for this Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious show – and we hope you’ll get the chance to enjoy it, too! ❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄ Looking for a great way to have fun, celebrate the season – and help local school children in need? On Tuesday, December 14, the Salem Children’s Charity is hosting their 17th Annual Holiday

North Shore Children & Families invites you to

Enter to Win Tickets! You could win a pair of tickets to see Mary Poppins at The Boston Opera House – – appearing February 17 through March 20!

DEADLINE TO ENTER IS JANUARY 15th! See back cover to purchase tickets!

Please enter online at www.northshorefamilies.com. From our Home Page – simply click on Enter to Win Tickets! Only one entry per person, please. Several pairs of tickets will be awarded.

Fundraiser & Christmas Party at Victoria Station, on Pickering Wharf in Salem, MA. This popular event features a sumptuous buffet, silent and live auctions, raffles with amazing prizes, sports collectibles and perhaps a sports celebrity or two! The cost is $15 per person, and 100% of all proceeds raised at the door, auctions and raffles go directly to Salem school children – for basic care items like shelter, food, heat, clothing – and perhaps a little something to make the holidays a little brighter this year. With so many local parents still looking for work, the need is now greater than ever before. Doors open at 5pm – come ready to bid on some fabulous items, gifts and services – some of the best this publisher and

annual event volunteer has ever seen! Make sure you buy plenty of raffle tickets, too – with prizes including gift certificates to local restaurants, attractions, events and more! We hope you will join us in the spirit of the season. And if you or your business would like to donate a new auction item, raffle prize or gift certificate to this fundraiser, please contact Patty Levasseur at 978.836.1146 or Witchcraft Heights Principal, Mark Higgins, at 978.740.1270. To make a personal online donation or to learn more about Salem Children’s Charity, please visit www.salemchildrenscharity.org. ❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄❄ This Winter issue covers two months – December AND January – with a bonus printing to restock our highest traffic distribution locations in early January. We do not have a separate January issue, but we’ll be back to our regular, monthly publishing schedule with our February issue – so watch for this in late January/early February! As we reach our 3rd birthday and enter our 4th year – and as the holiday season approaches – I send you the very best wishes, blessings and lots of holiday cheer as you decorate your trees, light your menorahs and Kwanzaa Kinara – or however you choose to celebrate the holiday season and welcome the New Year. May 2011 be filled with wonderful blessings and peace on earth for all – and may we be filled to our brims with gratitude. Count your blessings – not your burdens – and you will always come up rich and full. From our North Shore family to yours – may your holidays be wrapped in family, friends, love & gratitude. Until Next Time – (which will be our February 2011 issue!) Suzanne

North Shore Children & Families

Letter from the Editor

Gratitude: A Sentiment for All Seasons Cheryl is one of the happiest people I know. Whenever I am with her, she brings me up. She is smart, quirky, funny, active and loves to engage people. She owns and operates a small bookstore in Essex County. My son and I went to visit her and to purchase a book. I had just recently turned 50. My son enjoys teasing me about how old I am getting. Cheryl overheard my son give me one of his good-natured jibes. With a hearty smile, Cheryl begins her monologue: “Fifty! Ha! People talk about ages and I just laugh. Fifty. I’m 31. I’m hoping to make it to 40.” Cheryl has cystic fibrosis. My son, who does not know this, is a bit puzzled. He thinks that she is joking.

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www.northshorefamilies.com P.O. Box 150 Nahant, MA 01908-0150 781.584.4569 A publication of North Shore Ink, LLC © 2010. All rights reserved. Reproduction in full or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Suzanne M. Provencher Publisher/Co-Founder/Managing Partner suzanne@northshorefamilies.com Michael F. Mascolo, PhD Editor/Co-Founder/Partner michael@northshorefamilies.com Designed by Group One Graphics Printed by Seacoast Media Group Please see our Calendar in this issue for our upcoming deadlines. Published and distributed monthly throughout the North Shore, 10x per year, and always online. All articles are written by Michael F. Mascolo, PhD unless otherwise credited. Information contained in NSC&F is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. Individual readers are responsible for their use of any information provided. NSC&F is not liable or responsible for the effects of use of information contained in NSC&F. Established 2007.

But she continues. “Yeah, people say that they hope to live to 80 or 90. I’d like that too. But my goal is to make it to 40. It’s going to take a lot of work and a lot of money, and a lot of pain and a lot of medicine. But I’m determined to do it.” “People hope that they are going to make it to 80 or 90, but you never know. Nobody gets out of this alive. Most people act as if this isn’t true – you know, denial isn’t a river in Egypt. Every day that I wake up with my feet above the dirt is a good day. Most people don’t walk around thinking about that. They look at me and they say, ‘Oh, you look so good. I would never have known! You’re gonna be

alright.’ But I’m not alright. And I have to face that.” I comment that she actually seems quite ebullient virtually every time I see her. I ask her if she ever feels down. She replies: “No, not really. I mean, sometimes I slip, yes, and I can feel sorry for myself. But I don’t have time to feel bad. I have to live my life every day.” To me, Cheryl shows great courage. But like many people who must face great difficulty in their lives, Cheryl will have none of this. “I don’t mean to be an inspiration to anyone, but I appreciate the sentiment.” It’s not courage, she would say, it’s simply what she has to do given what she is forced to face.

Where to Find Us North Shore Children & Families is available at over 400 locations throughout the North Shore! Our free, monthly parenting publication is available at North Shore libraries, schools, pediatric doctor & dentist offices, hospitals, pre-schools, children & family support services, retailers that cater to parents, children & thriving families, YMCAs, children’s activity & instruction centers (dance, gymnastics, karate, children’s gyms) and more! You can find us from Andover and Methuen – south to Malden and Medford – east to Everett, Revere, Marblehead and down to Cape Ann – north to Amesbury and Newburyport – west to North Andover and everywhere in between

– we’ve got the North Shore covered! If you would like to be considered to host & distribute our free publication each month from your family-friendly, North Shore business location – or if you’re a reader who needs to find a location near you – please contact Suzanne: suzanne@northshorefamilies.com or 781.584.4569.

The average lifespan for US citizens hovers around 80. That doesn’t mean, however, that any of us is entitled to live that long. Life isn’t fair. Every moment of every day is a gift. Cheryl knows this. That’s why she is grateful. That’s why she’s happy. In this issue, we will explore the attitude of gratitude – why it helps, heals and leads us to happiness. It is an especially important sentiment at this time of year when many of us engage in the acts of giving and receiving gifts. Cultivating a sense of gratitude involves much more than learning to say “Thank you” when we receive a gift. Genuine appreciation makes us and the people around us happier and healthier.

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Gratitude

Gratitude is An Attitude Happiness is not what makes us grateful. It is gratefulness that makes us happy. – David Steindl-Rast Here is a lovely parable: While roaming the desert, a young disciple came across a spring of crystal-clear water. The water was so delicious that he wanted to bring some to the tribal elder who had been his teacher. So the disciple filled his leather canteen with water and headed for the elder’s village. After his four-day journey, he offered the water to his teacher. The elder took a drink, smiled and thanked his student for the water. The elder’s former disciple returned to his village with a deep feeling of happiness. Later, the teacher offered another of his students the water to drink. However, the student spat it out, and complained of how terrible it tasted. The water had apparently become stale in the leather container. The student confronted his teacher: “Master, this water is foul. Why did you pretend to like it?” His teacher replied, “You only tasted the water. I tasted the gift. The water was simply the container for an act of loving-kindness. Nothing could be sweeter.” We ordinarily think that happiness is a matter of getting the things that we want. If only I could have that new video game, I’d be happy. I know I’ll be happy when I complete my degree. Now, if I could only land that job! When I get married, I’ll be happy. When I get a house… When the kids are grown… When I retire… When I, well, you know. However, our lives necessarily contain both good and bad. Is happiness a zerosum game? Is happiness the difference between all the “good things” and the “bad things” in our lives? If that is so, we are likely to be doomed to be unhappy. Or at least we will be at the mercy of whatever good events and bad events just happen to come our way. Happiness is not the simple result of having good things happen to you. This is because virtually anything that happens to you has both good and bad aspects to it. Yes, you love your kids! But boy, can they be difficult. A new car! But my bank account is hemorrhaging! You love your husband. But how many times do you have to tell him to… I own my own house! But now I have to fix the leaky pipes. There is no perfect. When the tribal elder drank his disciple’s water, he surely experienced its foul taste. But he asked himself: Where is the good to be found in this experience? In this case, the good was the loving care with which his disciple gave the gift of the water. And for this the elder was grateful. From this we can see that gratitude is a kind of attitude. It is not to be found simply in the thing we receive. Instead, it is to be found in how we view the thing we receive. If everything contains elements of good and bad, then it is the act of seeking out and appreciating the good that can make us happy. To be grateful for the good in our lives is a major source of happiness. Perhaps this is what prompted Cicero’s belief that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”

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Gratitude

What’s So Hard About Gratitude? There’s more to being grateful than saying, “Thank you.” What does it mean to be grateful? The simplest form of gratitude occurs when someone gives us a wanted gift. We feel grateful because we received a valued object from someone who was not compelled to give us the gift. When we receive such a gift, we say, “Thank you” as an acknowledgement that someone did something for us out of kindness and care rather than obligation. (Of course, we also say thank you to acknowledge an obligatory gift, but this is more of a polite gesture than it is a genuine expression of gratitude.) The problem is that we often mistake gratitude as pleasure with the object itself rather than an acknowledgement of the benevolence of the other. Gratitude is not simply about being pleased with the object we receive; it is our sense that the origins of the benefit we receive comes from a source outside of ourselves. Perhaps the greatest experience of gratitude occurs when we are able to acknowledge that someone has done something for us that we could not do for ourselves. Our deepest experiences of gratitude occur when we acknowledge that our good fortune has its origins in something that is outside of our personal control. We acknowledge being the beneficiaries of something that is, if you will, bigger than we are. Now this is big. To be the beneficiary of another person’s kindness is a

Stuart G. Merle, D.M.D. Co-founder of Practice in 1975

Education: Brooklyn College of the City of New York; Tufts University School of Dental Medicine Pediatric Specialty: Brookdale Hospital Medical Center, NYU Past President: Massachusetts Academy of Pediatric Dentistry Appointment: Governor’s Commission to Study the Oral Health Status and Accessibility for Residents of the Commonwealth Board Certified: Diplomate, American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

Alan R. Zicherman, D.D.S. Co-founder of Practice in 1975

Education: City College of the City University of New York; NYU School of Dentistry Pediatric Specialty: Brookdale Hospital Medical Center, NYU Past President: Massachusetts Academy of Pediatric Dentistry Member: American Orthodontic Society, Cleft Palate Team, North Shore Children’s Hospital Board Certified: Diplomate, American Board of Pediatric Dentistry

Federico Lago, D.M.D. Education: Brown University; University of Connecticut Dental School Pediatric Specialty: Schneider’s Children’s Hospital Member: American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry

ORTHODONTICS FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS

wonderful thing. Mom and dad gave 10 yearold Ben the videogame he wanted but didn’t dream he could get. Alice’s grandparents have agreed to pay for all four years of college. Six hours of meticulous surgery by a skilled surgeon saved Carl’s life. What remarkable gifts! However, gratitude for such gifts can also cut against the grain. In a sense, it can be very threatening, especially in a culture like ours in which we value self-reliance and personal responsibility. In our culture, we like to think of ourselves as in control of our Continued on page 6

PEDIATRIC DENTISTS Children are not miniature adults when it comes to dentistry. They are remarkable in every way – physically, emotionally, socially and dentally! When it comes to dental care, children have specialized needs. They require the services of dental professionals specifically trained in the growth and development of teeth and facial structures. Dr. Alan Zicherman, Dr. Stuart Merle and Dr. Federico Lago are pediatric dentists specially trained in treating infants, children, adolescents and handicapped children. The doctors and staff work with you and your child to assure healthy teeth, gums and bite. They also try to develop a positive attitude about dentistry and cooperative attitudes about home care at an early age. These components together help parents and their children learn skills for a lifetime of healthy teeth. Their office philosophy is based around prevention of problems, and they recommend that children be seen by a pediatric dentist by the first tooth or first birthday. Early prevention visits are key to laying the foundation for good oral health. Dr. Zicherman and Dr. Merle are board certified and diplomates of the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry which ensures that they meet the highest standards of excellence in pediatric dental care.

Timothy Finelli, D.D.S. Education: Tufts University; Stonybrook School of Dental Medicine Orthodontic Specialty: Boston University Member: American Association of Orthodontists

ADULT COSMETIC DENTISTRY

Their offices are located in Peabody at 1 Roosevelt Avenue, phone 978-535-2500 and in Lynn at 225 Boston Street, phone 781-581-7798 Contact their offices for an appointment or for more information. www.mzdental.com

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Gratitude

What’s So Hard About Gratitude? Continued from page 5

lives. We can see this clearly in the last stanza of the classic poem Invictus (by William Ernst Henley) which reads: It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul. The idea that I may not be the “master of my fate” can be a scary one. It leads us to confront the idea that our good fortunes – even our very lives – are often sustained circumstances outside of our control. We are often not comfortable with putting our fates in the hands of others. Paradoxically, letting go of the idea that we are the “captains of our souls” may be the key to our capacity to genuine happiness through gratitude. What would it feel like to treat each day as if it were a gift? Not as something that we are entitled to – but instead as something bestowed upon us. Would this not make us realize that the gift is something to be appreciated rather than presumed or expected? And what if we were able to adopt this attitude in each moment of our lives? Each moment – even those that involve suffering – can be an invitation to seek and appreciate the gift of what is good in this moment. Learning to appreciate the gift of the good is key to cultivating genuine happiness. Teaching our children to appreciate the good in their gifts can put them on the road to cultivating gratitude.

How Gratitude Makes Us Happy & Healthy When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around. – Willie Nelson Oh, those adages: “Count your blessings.” “Always look at the bright side of your life.” “When life gives you lemons…” Although they may seem trite, like any good maxim, they express elements of truth. Gratitude is not just a polite way of acknowledging a gift. Gratitude is a key to happiness. Why? Because happiness is about finding and appreciating the good in life. We often think about gratitude as a kind of response. Someone does something that benefits us, and we respond to this event by saying, “Thank you.” This is usually the first step to teaching children to be grateful. Acknowledging the benefits that we have received from others is the first step to cultivating gratitude, but if we stop there, we will fail to develop the deep benefits that a mindset of gratitude can give us. Being grateful is not simply a response. To think of it as a response is to locate the impetus for our gratitude outside of us. We are left waiting around for things to be grateful for. Genuine gratitude requires more on our part. Happiness is about finding and appreciating the good in life. If this is so, then

gratitude is not simply a response to someone’s actions – it is an active process. It reflects our deliberate attempt to find the good in life. It is something that we can actively do. And if that is true, a mindset of gratitude can be cultivated. Philosophers and religious thinkers have long praised the virtue of gratitude. More recently, social scientists have begun to gather evidence of the central role of gratitude in cultivating a healthy and happy life. In one study, Robert Emmons and his colleagues at the University of California at Davis demonstrated the power of gratitude in relieving mild to moderate depression. They recruited two groups of college students. One group scored in the mild to moderate range of depression on common depression inventories; the other did not. The depressed group was trained to perform a series of actions designed to cultivate a sense of gratitude. In particular, over the course of a week-long intensive training, this group was taught how to do the following: Identify and Use Strengths. Participants identified their strengths and committed to using at least one of their strengths in a new way each day. List Three Good Things. Participants identified (in writing) three good things that happened during the day and provided explanation of why they thought it happened. Write a Life Summary. Participants wrote a single-page summary of their lives as they would like it to be remembered. Complete a “Gratitude Visit”. Each participant wrote and hand-delivered a letter to a person expressing his or her gratitude for something the person had done. Respond Empathically to Other’s Good Fortune. Participants vowed to listen carefully when others described instances of their own positive life events. Participants committed themselves to “going out of their way” to respond empathically and constructively to the positive experiences of others. Savor Positive Experiences. Every day, each participant committed to savoring at least two experiences. The results of this small study were dramatic. The participants who received the gratitude training not only reported a reduction in their feelings of depression, but this reduction persisted over the course of an entire year. Presumably, the individuals in the group receiving the training were able to apply and use their newfound skills in their everyday lives in order to find and appreciate the good in their lives. Some people might worry that cultivating a sense of gratitude in life might make people become complacent and less active in pursuing life’s goals. According to this line of reasoning, if gratitude involves finding the good in what life gives to me, then why try to change my circumstances? If I should be content with what I have, why take action in order to improve my lot? Although gratitude does involve finding the good in everyday life, as discussed above, gratitude is not simply a response to whatever life brings! Yes, in any given event, we should seek to appreciate the good. But that does not mean that we should not actively seek to produce good in our lives! If happiness is finding and appreciating the good in life, then an important part of achieving happiness lies in the acts of finding the good and even trying to make it happen. If I try to make something good happen, sometimes I am going to succeed. (“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”) If I fail, well, this is not necessarily a problem: I will look for and appreciate the good in my failures as well. Research suggests that an attitude of gratitude does not lead to complacency. On the contrary, people who have cultivated an attitude of gratefulness are active in their attempt to achieve life goals. Gratitude makes us more happy and healthy persons.

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Gratitude

Cultivating Gratitude in Children & Adults If gratitude is an attitude, then cultivating gratitude is a matter of developing a particular type of mindset. This is the mindset of finding and appreciating the good in life. Early Childhood Genuine gratitude builds upon the simple, “Thank you.” You’d be surprised at how early children can be taught to respond with a habitual, “thank you.” It can even happen in very young toddlers. When you give your toddler something that she wants (e.g., when she reaches for a toy or a morsel of food), simply say, “Say thank you!” Over time, you will find yourself saying, “What do you say?” Toddlers who can’t even pronounce the words yet can begin to give you a consistent, make-shift “thank you.” Of course, your toddler won’t know the meaning of “thank you”. But that won’t matter. Your child will have learned a kind of “script”. Over time, you explain more about how to say “thank you” and what it means. As you do this, your child will “grow into” the meaning of “thank you.” There’s no need to wait until your child has a full understanding of “thank you” to begin to socialize the use of these words. Middle & Later Childhood The key here is deep explanation. As your child grows, don’t hesitate to turn each moment of “giving-and-receiving” into an opportunity to advance your child’s understanding and practice of gratitude. Younger children will need simpler explanations. But as your child grows older, you will be able to explain the complexities and nuances of what it means to be grateful.

Three approaches to explaining gratitude are shown in the above figure. We tend to approach situations of giving and receiving in three different ways. The first (lower left hand corner of the figure) is one that is born out of deep love for our children. Loving our children as we do, we want the best for them – we want them to feel good. And often, feeling good means giving children what they want. The problem, of course, is that giving children what they want –

without providing them with a clear understanding of gratitude and appreciation – is the quickest and fastest route to producing a child who feels entitled to get whatever he or she wants. Here we have a paradox: When we indulge a child and try to meet each and every want and need, we produce unhappy children. Why is this? It is because disappointment is a necessary part of everyday life. Nothing we get is perfect; it can never live up to our ideals. A child who believes that he is entitled to whatever he wants will always want more. He will be unable to appreciate what he has; he will constantly seek gratification by wanting more and more. Parents are often frustrated that such children do not seem to appreciate their efforts to honor their children’s requests. But appreciation is not a natural response to receiving – it must be cultivated. A second way that we often attempt to socialize gratitude is by simply demanding it. Quite often, this is accompanied by statements of the sacrifices that parents have made to grant the children favors. “All we do is sacrifice for you! Can’t you see that? Why aren’t you more grateful?” This approach, born of frustration, fails to provide children with a clear understanding of what it means to be grateful. Instead, it simply fosters a sense of guilt and resentment. Children may show their “gratitude”, but mostly out of mere obligation. The third strategy is the one that fosters genuine gratitude and appreciation. This occurs when parents address the question of gratitude head on. Over time, they explain the complexities of what it means to be appreciative. The key here is to avoid the extremes of over-indulgence or over-demandingness. We want our children to enjoy the gifts that they receive, but, at the same time, to be mindful that gifts are not obligatory. No one needs to give another person a gift, grant a favor or meet a discretionary desire. I benefit from a decision that is under someone else’s control, and I could not have received this benefit otherwise. When I understand the origins of your kind act, I am immediately humbled and grateful. I realize that you are the reason for my good fortune. I am grateful and wish to reciprocate your kindness. Later Adolescence & Adulthood As we come to understand our indebtedness to others, we can come to see that we are not the sole authors of our good fortunes. We know that our lives will necessarily contain both good and bad, and that happiness is not simply the absence of the bad. If this is true, the main source of our happiness will be to seek out and appreciate the good in life. We can do this in many ways, some of which were discussed in How Gratitude Makes us Happy & Healthy (in this issue). At any given moment, ask yourself: What can I appreciate about this moment? Attend mindfully to your breathing, to your walking, to the specific aspects of what you are doing right now. What is good about this moment? Appreciate the simple feeling of breathing and being alive. Keep a gratitude journal. Identify three good things that happen each day. Savor them. Perform an act of gratitude. Write a letter to a person who has done something good for you (even if it happened years ago). If you can, deliver the letter in person. Make an affirmation to the people in your life. Decide to affirm something positive in someone else each day. Tell someone what you value about them, what you appreciate about them. You’ll find that you brighten both their day and your own.

North Shore Children & Families

Personal Development

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work (And What Does!) Ah…those New Year’s Resolutions. I resolve to lose weight. I resolve to stop yelling at the kids. I resolve to keep the house clean. I resolve to increase my savings. The YMCA loves the New Year. They get gads of new members. And those new members are pretty diligent…for about 6 weeks, that is. And then they tend to go back to their old ways. I resolve to stop making resolutions! So, you’ve failed in your New Year’s resolutions. Why did you fail? Is it because you are lazy and undisciplined? You just don’t have the will power to make them work? That’s certainly how we often feel when we fail at our resolutions. When you think of it, New Year’s resolutions are virtually designed for

failure! We take some area in our lives that is difficult for us and that we want to improve upon. We resolve to improve. As we do this, we are adding one more difficult task to our already busy lives. We never stop to think why this is so difficult for us. We don’t ask ourselves why we actually avoid doing what it would take to meet our goals. That is, we never really ask ourselves:

We never really stop to ask ourselves what we are actually doing (or not doing) that gets in the way of achieving our goals. In fact, if you are like most people, the mere seeing the question framed as a contrast between what we do rather than what we don’t do begins to give us insight into why New Year’s resolutions don’t work. You might ask, “Why do I yell rather than problem-solve with my kids?” “Well, problem-solving is hard! I’m not even sure I know how to do that with my kids!” No wonder we yell! No wonder why “I resolve to stop yelling” fails.

Why do we stay in bed in the morning, but don’t get up and go to the gym? Why do we yell at the kids, but don’t engage them more quietly in problemsolving conversations? Why do we leave the dirty cups on every horizontal surface in the house, but don’t simply get up and put them in the dishwasher?

Why do we buy an extra large hazelnut coffee at Dunkin Donuts, but don’t make the coffee at home and save $15 or more per week?

Resisting Our Resistance to Change In a series of brilliant books, Robert Kegan and Lisa Leahy have created some life-transforming exercises that

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(3) (2) What I Do (or Don’t Do) That Gets in the Way

you can do to really begin to make progress in developing toward your goals. Kegan and Leahy ask the fundamental question: What stops us from making the changes we want to make in our lives? The answer is that we often fail in attaining our goals because we have competing commitments. Our attempts to reach any one goal often compete with other equally important goals and commitments. And these competing goals are not simply “logical” or “intellectual” ones – there are usually emotional commitments that get in the way of our attempt to reach our goals. And quite often, we aren’t even aware of what they are.

I doing (or not doing) that gets in the way of my attempts to reach this goal? Be specific and concrete – name specific actions that you are doing (or not doing) that seem to get in the way of your commitment. Bob’s response was simple and direct: “I don’t go to the gym.” (List as many things as you can – not just one or two. Note that Bob’s response is both concrete and honest.)

Step 3: What Fears Drive Your Resistance? Now this is important. Take a look at the list you made at Step 2. Ask yourself: “What am I afraid might happen if I did NOT do what I listed in Step 2?” For example, for Bob, this meant asking, “What am I Making Genuine Change Happen worried might happen if I did go to the gym?” The key here is to get at How can we make genuine change your genuine feelings – what are your happen in our lives? Kegan and Leahy worries and fears? Be honest. Bob must identify our competing goals and made a long list of worries and fears; commitments, and reasons why they the top three are shown at Step (3). hold us back. Here is a streamlined Bob was worried that if he went to version of their process for making the gym, he would find it unpleasant this happen. and would be unable to complete his Step 1: Identify Your workout; that he still wouldn’t lose Commitments. Identify a major weight after the effort; and that goal that you want to achieve in your everyone would see how fat he was! life – something to which you feel These are some pretty compelling committed. It should be some set of reasons for not going to the gym! actions that are, to some degree, Step 4: What Are Your within your control. Bob’s main goal Competing Commitments? Take (like many who make New Year’s a look at what you’ve written for resolutions) was to lose weight. This Steps 2 and 3. Fill in the blank: “Steps is shown in the figure at point (1). 2 and 3 suggest that I’m also Step 2: What Are You Doing That committed to ______.” Lead with Gets in the Way? As you think your emotions here; be honest. When about this goal, ask yourself: What am Continued on page 12

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New Year’s Resolutions Continued from page 11

stupid.”

Changing Your Big Assumptions Bob got to this step, he realized that Leads to Big Changes in in addition to losing weight (Step 1), he Behavior was also committed to not failing at “Wow. Why can’t I just go to the losing weight and not looking foolish or gym? It’s so simple – get up and go!” stupid. What an important insight! Well, it’s not so simple. Why? Bob was realizing that he had two Because Bob’s commitment to “losing legitimate sets of commitments that were weight” competes with an equally getting in the way of each other. He important and emotionally-charged was not lazy or undisciplined – he was commitment: Avoiding failure and the trying to avoid failing and the feelings embarrassment that comes with it. In of embarrassment and shame that fact, not going to the gym is a pretty come from failing! good strategy for avoiding failure at Step 5: What Are My Big the gym: If I don’t go to the gym, I can’t Assumptions? This last step puts fail in my workout. everything together. Compare the So, now that I’ve identified by Big competing commitments that you’ve Assumption(s), what do I do now? It’s listed in Step 1 and Step 4. Ask time to begin the process of changing yourself, “What am I assuming about those assumptions. If you can change these two commitments? What ‘Big your Big Assumptions – the emotional Assumption’ explains how I feel about conflicts that block your attempts to these competing commitments? At reach your goals – changes in your this point, for Bob, it was easy: “If I try behavior will follow. So how do we to lose weight, I’ll just fail and look

go about changing our Big Assumptions? Step by step. Step 1: Become Aware of How Your Big Assumptions Operate in Everyday Life Start simple; start safe. Once you have identified your Big Assumption(s), the first step is simply to become aware of how they operate in your everyday life. That’s it. Nothing more, nothing less. For example, the day after Bob identified his Big Assumption, he slept in the next day. He didn’t go to the gym. But he did take note of his Big Assumption in action! He became aware of feeling afraid of going to the gym. He was able to see his Big Assumption in real life! Later on in the same day, it was late at night, and Bob was about to raid the refrigerator before going to bed. It had always been a goal for Bob to avoid eating anything after dinner. Now, facing the fridge, Bob again became aware of his Big Assumption

in action. He thought to himself, “If I stop myself from eating something right now, that would be a good start to losing weight. But if I actually start trying, it will be overwhelming!” Bob’s insight about eating before bed had nothing to do with going to the gym. But it did have something to do with his Big Assumption. He was afraid of failing at losing weight. Bob actually had a snack before he went to bed. Did he fail? No. That’s because the task was simply to become aware of his Big Assumption in operation. In this regard, he succeeded brilliantly! Step 2: Become Aware of Contradictions to Your Big Assumption Several days later, Bob was in front of the refrigerator again. He didn’t find anything “tasty” that he wanted to eat. So he closed the door and went to bed. The next day, however, he became aware of something important: “I didn’t feel hungry when I went to bed!” This actually challenged

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North Shore Children & Families Bob’s Big Assumption: “Here I am, afraid that I would fail to lose weight, but going to bed without eating wasn’t so bad!” Bob’s Big Assumption is beginning to change. He now realizes that, “I can sometimes be successful in doing what I have to do to lose weight.” Step 3: “Test” Some New Assumptions by Performing Small, Safe Experiments Some weeks later, Bob was ready to start to “try on” some new assumptions and insights. Instead of thinking, “If I go to the gym, I’ll fail and look stupid”, he began to entertain some alternative assumptions. “What if I don’t go to the gym? What if I just get up in the morning and take a walk? If I take a short walk, I won’t fail and that might be okay.” And so, Bob got up in the morning and took a walk. He felt no guilt or shame. He “planned” to simply take a short walk. As he got half-way through his

planned trip, he decided that he actually felt good. He continued to walk passed his half-way point. On the way back, however, Bob became “tired and jittery”. He stopped to rest, and then walked slowly the rest of the way home. Was Bob’s experiment successful in testing his new assumption? What is the measure of Bob’s success? Bob found that he was able to take a walk and not fail. He found that he actually felt so good that he wanted to walk farther! But he also learned more – he might get tired if he pushes himself too much. That’s important information. Bob has now begun to take walks at different times of the day. Instead of feeling bad about not going to the gym, Bob is now exercising and feeling good about what he is doing. He has made real progress by changing the way he thinks, feels and approaches exercise.

North Shore Children & Families

The Reason for the Season The Plight Before Christmas by Justin Travers ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and with very good reason We were pretty fed up with the Holiday Season The stockings were flung next to my underwear We haven’t done laundry, so I haven’t a pair Visions of sugarplums: The very suggestion! My tummy explodes with severe indigestion The kids, oh, how greedy! Their lists, oh, how chronic! They want to be showered with things electronic Mama in her kerchief, and I, like a sap Each year we give in and we buy all this crap! My head, how it’s pounding; my back, how it’s aching: Enough of the buying! Enough of the baking! I have half a mind to gather this loot Take it back where we found it and give it the boot!

Then a novel idea came into my head We don’t have to lose ‘em, we’ll use ‘em, instead With all this abundance so modern and slick We’ll give some away to the needy or sick We’ll go on a tour on a hospital ward They’ll make a decision to give or to hoard Or maybe I’ll ask ‘em, “Who’s done you some good?” Why not show that person that you understood? I hear their complaining, “You’re mean! That’s not fair! You can’t make me do it! I’m not gonna share!” So I won’t force it on them, I’ll let them decide Perhaps their emotions will serve as their guide With an emotional tug to share their good lot Two people will profit, not just the distraught With these thoughts in my head, I considered my plight: Tomorrow begins with what happens tonight.

North Shore Children & Families

In Good Health

Sweet Nothings by Andrea Cohen, M.Ed. A common adage among food activists states: “Just because it’s edible, doesn’t mean it’s food”. This pithy saying is never more accurate than in the dialogue concerning refined sugar. By now, most of us have heard the news that sugar is a growing concern in the standard American diet. We have read about the medical links to obesity and diabetes, not to mention possible links to hyperactivity, anxiety and depression. So why is sugar so menacing and how do you know if your children and families are getting too much? The vast majority of the refined sugars in the United States food supply come from high fructose corn syrup, sugar cane and sugar beets. The refining process strips away all enzymes, vitamins, minerals and fiber – leaving nothing but flavor, empty calories and a substance with a powerful impact on your body’s health and wellbeing. When you eat foods made up of carbohydrates (sugars and starches), your body responds with a rise in blood sugar and your pancreas is alerted to release more insulin. If your body is working in balance and you eat a small amount of sugar, the rise in your blood sugar and the amount of insulin released are in healthy relation. If not, a large insulin response can make your blood sugar level drop too low or too quickly. At first, it’s terrific – these

shifts in blood sugar can make you feel energetic, stimulated and happy! Soon, however, your levels plunge and you will feel tired, overwhelmed and irritable. Continued on page 16

North Shore Children & Families

Sweet Nothings Continued from page 15

If we know and understand this chemistry in our own adult bodies, it is no wonder that children often have volatile relationships with sugar and sweets. Some children seem more prone to “sugar highs” and “sugar lows” than others. Because we all have different nutrition needs and responses, it can be challenging to know how much is too much when it comes to sugar intake (unless or course you have a sugar free household). Start by simply watching your kids. Take notice of their relationship with sugar. Are they begging you for sugary sweets? Waking up in the morning gripped with the need for high sugar breakfast cereals or toaster treats? Mood swings, attention struggles, extreme sensitivity and defensiveness can all be indicative of excess sugar consumption. Many nutritionists believe that children with diabetes, obesity, attention deficit disorder or oppositional defiance disorder may show a heightened sensitivity to the affects of sugar. The U.S. candy industry brings in $32 billion annually and soda – liquid candy! – nets $115 billion. If your child drinks one can of soda, she is ingesting between 8-10 teaspoons of sugar. Refined sugar has now crept into many savory foods as well. Don’t be surprised to find some incarnation of sugar in pizza sauce, salad dressing, soup or bread. Celebrated professor of nutrition, scientist and author, Marion Nestle, prompts us to go easy on ourselves when it comes to our collective sweet tooth. In her comprehensive food guide, What to Eat, Nestle explains, “Humans are born with a predilection for sweetness to stimulate sucking reflexes. Breast milk is sweet because it contains lactose, a double sugar of glucose and Galactose. So it is normal to

like sweet foods” (p. 332). Other researchers speculate that early humans coveted sweet flavors because they were high energy foods and were rarely associated with poisons. Wherever our love for sugar comes from, the yearning for sweets is commonly amplified during holiday celebrations and special occasions. Sugar sneaks into our diets and our bodies take notice. Here are a few things you can do today to explore the question of how much is too much for you and your children: • Enjoy a breakfast high in protein and whole grains • Exercise releases endorphins that can help ease sugar cravings • Young children should not go more than 3 hours without eating • Don’t worry about eliminating sugar, just start by becoming aware! Reference Nestle, M. (2006). What to eat. North Point Press. Andrea Cohen, M.Ed., is a local food psychology coach. Visit her website at www.fullcirclefoodcoaching.com.

Pediatric Neuropsychology Service Neuropsychological, Psychological and Educational Evaluations Children and teens ages 6-19 and young adults to age 25 70 Washington Street, Salem, MA

Contact Dr. Joseph Begany at 781-249-2901 / pedineuro1@gmail.com www.pedi-neuropsych.com Typical referral concerns include: • Attention problems (ADD / ADHD); problems with motivation, organization, learning and memory; psychiatric issues; social development difficulties; problems with academic achievement & learning disabilities; behavioral and emotional problems. • Autism Spectrum Disorders: Asperger’s Disorder; Non-Verbal Learning Disability (NLD, NVLD); Language Disorders. • Problems related to head injury, lead poisoning and other toxin exposure; behavior and psychiatric problems related to legal problems and court involvement. Accepted Insurance: Blue Cross Blue Shield; Out-of-Network reimbursement for most other insurance plans; Reimbursement also possible through Committee for Public Counsel Services (CPCS)

North Shore Children & Families

Reader Contribution

Cry Innocent! Participate in the Re-Creation of History by Seth Francis Since October 1992, the acting company History Alive! from Gordon College in Wenham has been presenting Cry Innocent: The People vs. Bridget Bishop – a play about the Salem Witchcraft Trials. This is a play like no other. First, a little background: Cry Innocent: The People vs. Bridget Bishop was commissioned for History Alive! by Norman Jones and written by Mark Stevick. The play is about Bridget Bishop, the first person in Salem Village to be hanged after being accused of practicing witchcraft. Bridget Bishop was arrested on charges of witchcraft on Monday, April 18, 1692. On Tuesday, April 19, Bishop’s pretrial hearing took place at the courthouse in Salem Village.

Because of evidence brought against Bishop during the trial, she was ordered held for trial. On Thursday, June 2, Bridget Bishop was formally tried as a witch. The court in which Bridget Bishop was tried was not like

modern courts. She had no lawyer. During the trial, witnesses were allowed to bring forward “spectral evidence” – reports by witnesses of seeing ghosts and other unobservable entities. During the late 1600’s, many judges took this type of “evidence” seriously. As a result, Bridget Bishop was found guilty. On Friday, June 10, 1692, she was the first of nineteen accused witches to be hanged at Gallows Hill in Salem. Cry Innocent is a clever re-enactment

of Bridget Bishop’s pretrial hearing. It is presented during the summer and during the October tourist season in Old Town Hall in Salem. Actors dressed in full Puritan regalia begin the play out in the open on the streets of Salem. A postman in the middle of downtown Salem begins by announcing the news of the day. About midway through the news, Bridget Bishop appears and is arrested by the magistrates. She is dragged through the streets of Salem to the Old Town Hall – pied-piper style – with the crowd following behind her. As she is ushered to town hall, we hear cries both accusing and supporting Bishop. After the crowd (that is, present day tourists and residents) overcome their initial bewilderment, many follow the Continued on page 18

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Cry Innocent! Continued from page 17

procession to Old Town Hall. There, the audience takes their seats and the show begins. There are about five to six actors in each show. Three men and two women act out the roles of the people who testified against Bridget Bishop in her pretrial hearing. The only two actors that play the same part throughout the shows are those who play Judge Hathorne (an ancestor of Nathanial Hawthorne) and Bridget Bishop. The remaining actors engage in the acting technique called doubling. Doubling occurs when actors play more than one part in a show. At different points, the audience is invited to participate in the play. The audience plays the role of jury in the play. At the midpoint of the play, the audience is allowed to ask questions of all the witnesses including Bridget

and Judge Hathorne. Near the end of the show, the audience is asked to vote, by raising their hands, on whether or not there is sufficient evidence to bring Bridget Bishop to trial. The decision of the jury is not as easy as you might imagine. The jury is instructed to adopt the beliefs and rules that were present in Salem in 1692. How would you vote if you believed that “spectral evidence” should be allowed in court? How would you vote if you did not believe in spectral evidence, but were ask to consider it nonetheless? At the end of each show, the actress playing Bridget Bishop tells the audience whether or not they voted in accordance with history. Sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. Now that’s what learning history should be like! Seth Francis is a local student contributor who loves local history – especially when it comes to Salem.

Community Calendar To Submit to our Community Calendar: Please visit us at www.northshorefamilies.com and submit your listings directly through our website. From our Home Page – click on Calendar – then click on Submit in the upper right corner and our form will open for you to complete and submit your listings. While we will make every attempt to post all appropriate listings in our Community Calendar, space is limited – and priority will be given to those events that are free and family-friendly – and those submitted by our advertising partners & sponsors. Calendar listings are generally due by the 15th of each month prior and must be submitted through our website. If you need to guarantee that your listing will be posted – please contact Suzanne to advertise. See our current Calendar for our upcoming issue deadlines. To advertise, please contact Suzanne at suzanne@northshorefamilies.com or 781.584.4569.

For complete listing accuracy, we recommend that you call ahead or check the websites listed. Featured listings do not constitute an endorsement from this publisher and we encourage our readers to always do their own research. DECEMBER IS THE MONTH FOR: Human Rights, Bingo, Write A Friend, Hi Neighbor, Stress Free Family Holidays, Read A New Book, Safe Toys & Gifts SAVE THE DATE! 17th Annual Salem Children’s Charity Annual Holiday Fundraiser/Christmas Party at Victoria Station, Pickering Wharf, Salem.

North Shore Children & Families

Doors open at 5pm; $15pp includes delicious buffet. Features Silent Auction, Live Auction (amazing items to bid on!), sports collectibles and celebrities, raffles (excellent prizes!) – ALL proceeds go directly to meeting the basic and often emergency needs (food, clothing, shelter, holiday toys) of Salem’s school children. For more info. or to donate gift certificates, new items, gifts or services to the auctions/raffles, please contact Patty Levasseur at 978.836.1146 or Witchcraft Heights Principal, Mark Higgins, at 978.740.1270. To make an online donation or to learn more about Salem Children’s Charity, please visit www.salemchildrenscharity.org.

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is available for free each month at over 400 familyfrequented locations throughout the North Shore! See page 3 for details.

Attention Advertisers: Ask us about our …

2011 PUBLISHING SCHEDULE Issue

Ad Space Deadline

Ads Due

February March April

Fri., Jan. 14 Fri., Feb. 18 Fri., Mar. 18

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To explore your advertising options or to secure your space, please contact Suzanne at 781.584.4569 or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com. To learn more, please visit www.northshorefamilies.com.

“

We’ve been advertising for several years now – and our ads are getting a great response. We know, because we track our marketing effectiveness with the different advertising/marketing mediums we use! We measure the amount of inquiries from each advertising source, and use that data to identify our cost per inquiry as well as our cost per new member. (When it comes to inquiries, both the quantity and quality matter!)

We are very pleased with our partnership with this local parenting publication. North Shore Children & Families is a professional and classy publication, and Suzanne is passionate about making sure advertisements are accurate, attractive and effective. We believe this publication is a great marketing source to present our message to our target customers, and we’re optimistic that with its excellent content it will continue to be an excellent resource for area parents and local businesses.

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… “Try Us!” program for new advertisers … Annual advertising frequency programs … The Annual Planner for Schools program … The North Shore Party Planner program … Annual Summer Camps & Programs Showcase series … Service Directory Target your message to North Shore parents. We’ve got the North Shore covered!

We periodically fine tune our marketing plan, reducing investment in those publications that yield less value per dollar invested in them. Regarding North Shore Children & Families, we have increased our marketing there, because of its impact with our target demographic…that is…it gets results for our businesses! Alan Ruthazer, Owner The Little Gym, Danvers & Woburn

FREE CLASSES: Call today to schedule a FREE introductory class at The Little Gym! Danvers (978.777.7977); Woburn (781.933.3388). BOOK TODAY: Book your next special event at The Bayside of Nahant! Oceanfront splendor, magnificent views, elegant and affordable. For info.: 781.592.3080 or www.baysidefunctions.com. Book your age 5 and under child’s birthday party at Mall Tots, Liberty Tree Mall, Danvers! www.malltots.com SIGN UP TODAY: Mention the ad on page 4 to save $45 upon enrollment (for ages 2-7) – or for adults, try our introductory offer for 5 classes for $50 at Boston Ballet School/North Shore Studio at the Lynch/van Otterloo YMCA in Marblehead! Beginners welcome: 617.456.6380 or www.bostonballet.org/school.

Get Your Monthly Membership (ages 5 & under) at Mall Tots, Liberty Tree Mall, Danvers! www.malltots.com Adult American Sign Language (ASL) Classes; Toddler Sign Playgroup (for 2-3 year olds); Baby Sign Playgroup (for infants & 1 year olds – all presented by The Children’s Center for Communication, Beverly School for the Deaf, 6 Echo Ave., Beverly. Contact Jessica Fox at 978.927.7070 x317 or www.thechildrenscenterforcommunication.org. THROUGH DECEMBER 3: Online auction to benefit the kids of Essex Elementary School. www.essexpto.com THROUGH DECEMBER 30: Visit Gallery Della-Piana for an Art Exhibit; 152-Rear Main St., Wenham. View original art by 18 Illustrators of the best-selling MATHSTART children’s books, free on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, 11am-6pm. School groups welcome! 978.468.1944. www.gallerydellapiana.com

North Shore Children & Families ZooLights returns to Stone Zoo, Stoneham! Daily 5-9pm (closed 12/25). Holiday light show, see reindeer up close, visit Santa (photos avail. Through 12/23), fairy tale characters & dancing plush animals. M-Th $5/per or $4/member, under age 2 free; F-Su $6/per or $5/member, under age 2 free. www.stonezoo.org MONDAYS: Mommy & Me w/A Jewish Twist, 10:30-11:30am; 0-3 years w/caregiver. $10/class, $72/semester. At Chabad of Peabody, 83 Pine St., Unit E. Fun w/song, art, music, playtime, snacks & schmoosing w/other moms. 978.977.9111 THURSDAYS: Toddler Group, 10am, at Crunchy Granola Baby, Salem. Meet with parents, caregivers & their toddlers who are interested in natural & organic living. 3 mos./$25, 1st group free; drop in $5. Snack free.

FRIDAYS: Free Breastfeeding Mother-Baby Group. Facilitated by IBCLCs (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants), the group meets every Friday morning, 9-11am, in the Lynch conference room of Mass General Hospital for Children (formerly the North Shore Children’s Hospital, Highland Ave., Salem). No fee, no registration necessary. For more info. or to speak with an IBCLC about breastfeeding, please call the milk line at NSMC Birthplace: 888.217.6455. Parenting Group (newborn-crawling), 10am, at Crunchy Granola Baby, Salem. Meet with parents, caregivers & their children who are interested in natural & organic living. 3 mos./$25, 1st group free; drop in $5. Snack free. GET TICKETS NOW FOR: Boston Ballet’s The Nutcracker – through December 31 at The Boston Opera House. www.bostonballet.org

Continued on page 20

North Shore Children & Families

Community Calendar

Cinderella’s Christmas…The Musical on 12/12. Kaleidoscope Children’s Theatre performs monthly in Saugus at 466 Central St. 781.230.EXPO.

Continued from page 19

GET TICKETS NOW FOR: DECEMBER 1: Jersey Boys, 12/16-1/30 at Boston’s Colonial Theatre. Mary Poppins, 2/173/20 at the Boston Opera House. www.broadwayacrossamerica.com/boston Lynn Auditorium Shows: Julio Iglesias on 12/5; Captured, The Journey Show on 12/11; Kenny Rogers – A Christmas Special on 12/18; Big Bad Voodoo Daddy on 1/22. www.lynnauditorium.com Fiddler on the Roof Jr., 12/3-5, by the Children’s Theatre Workshop of Wilmington. $7; www.ctwkids.org. A Christmas Carol – A Musical Ghost Story, at North Shore Music Theatre, Beverly, 12/3-23; www.nsmt.org. The Long Christmas Ride Home at Salem Theatre Co., Salem, 12/2-19. www.salemtheatre.com

Happy Hanukkah; begins at sunset! World Aids Awareness Day; Eat a Red Apple Day; Pie Day; Rosa Park’s Day Why Waldorf Children Love to Read, 7-8:30pm, free for adults only. www.capeannwaldorf.org; 668 Hale St., Beverly Farms. Join grades 1-4 faculty for a journey through early literacy learning, Q&A; RSVP to 978.927.1936. DECEMBER 2 – 5: Gingerbread Festival in Marblehead, all ages, $5 per or $10/family. At the Lee Mansion, 161 Washington St. www.marbleheadfamilyfund.org DECEMBER 3 – 5: 31st Year of Christmas in Salem Celebration! Tour 10 beautifully decorated homes in Salem & enjoy the holiday

spirit. Leading area decorators deck these halls in full holiday regalia. Includes a festive Christmas Tea on 12/4 at the Hawthorne Hotel; lectures & musical performances at the Tabernacle Congregational Church; holiday shopping at the Salem Garden Club boutique & downtown area. Candlelight Tour of 3 Homes (for advance ticket holders only) on 12/3, 6-8pm, concurrent with the Dearborn St. Illumination. Other tours 12/4, 10am-4:30pm and on 12/5, 11:30am4:30pm. Complimentary trolley service available. Buy Advance tickets by 5pm, 12/1: $25/Historic Salem, Inc. members or $30/general public; after 12/1 $35/gen. pub.; www.ChristmasinSalem.org or 978.745.0799.

DECEMBER 7:

DECEMBER 4:

Eastern Point Day School Holiday Show at the Gloucester Stage Co., 6pm. Open to all; free. www.easternpointdayschool.org

Saturday Enrichment Program, 1011:30am, at The Phoenix School, Salem. For 3-7 and 7-10 year olds; free. www.phoenixschool.org

Pearl Harbor Day; Civil Aviation Day; Letter Writing Day; Cotton Candy Day Grades 6-9 Open House at The Pike School, Andover, 9-11:30am. www.pikeschool.org DECEMBER 8: Open House at Tower School, Marblehead, 9-11am. www.towerschool.org DECEMBER 9: Christmas Card Day; Pastry Day

DECEMBER 10:

DECEMBER 5:

Human Rights Day

From Breath to Bliss, a 3 hour Pranayama Yoga Workshop, 1-4pm, $30, ages 18+. At Green Tea Yoga, Salem. www.greenteayoga.com

Open House at Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School, Beverly, 9am. www.stoneridgecms.org

FEBRUARY ISSUE DEADLINES!

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The

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781.592.3080

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DECEMBER 11:

Levasseur at 978.836.1146 or Witchcraft Heights Principal, Mark Higgins, at UNICEF Anniversary; Noodle Ring Day 978.740.1270. To make an online donation or to learn more about Salem Children’s Fall Entrance Exam at Austin Charity, please visit Preparatory School, Reading, 8:30am. www.salemchildrenscharity.org. Must register by 12/9 at www.austinprepschool.org. DECEMBER 18: DECEMBER 12:

North Shore Children & Families DECEMBER 25:

APARTMENT for RENT

Merry Christmas! DECEMBER 26: Kwanzaa begins! DECEMBER 31:

Cohen Hillel Academy Open House, featuring Wiggles and Giggles with Joyce, 10am. www.cohenhillel.org

Treble Chorus of New England Holiday Concert, 7pm, at South Church, 41 Central St., Andover. $16 adults, $10 students & seniors. www.treblechorusne.org

DECEMBER 14:

DECEMBER 21:

17th Annual Salem Children’s Charity Annual Holiday Fundraiser/Christmas Party at Victoria Station, Pickering Wharf, Salem. Doors open at 5pm; $15pp includes delicious buffet. Features Silent Auction, Live Auction (amazing items to bid on!), sports collectibles and celebrities, raffles (excellent prizes!) – ALL proceeds go directly to meeting the basic and often emergency needs (food, clothing, shelter, holiday toys) of Salem’s school children. For more info. or to donate gift certificates, new items, gifts or services to the auctions/raffles, please contact Patty

Winter Solstice/1st Day of Winter (shortest day of the year); Forefathers’ Day; Humbug Day; Flashlight Day; Look on the Bright Side Day

JANUARY IS THE MONTH FOR: Thank Yous, Bath Safety, Blood Donors, Braille Literacy, Hobbies, Hot Tea, Oatmeal, Soup, Eye Care, Staying Healthy

New Year’s Eve! Celebrate responsibly. In loving memory of Tami Bertini. xo

JANUARY 1: DECEMBER 22: In loving memory of Nanna Roderick on her birthday. xo

Happy New Year’s Day! JANUARY 8: Saturday Enrichment Program, 1011:30am, at The Phoenix School, Salem. For 3-7 and 7-10 year olds; free. www.phoenixschool.org Continued on page 22

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Buy One - Get One 15% Off! Buy a display ad in our February issue at open rate –

$ave 15% off your March ad! Or - "Try Us!" in 3 consecutive issues –

and $ave 10% off all 3 display ads! February issue ad space closes on Fri., Jan. 14; ads are due/must be done by Tues., Jan. 18. To secure your space and $ave – contact Suzanne by Jan. 14: 781.584.4569 or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com. To see our current issue, media kit & more, please visit us at www.northshorefamilies.com.

"Try Us!" – You'll LOVE Us!

From Our North Shore Family to Yours – We Wish You the Happiest of Holidays! Peace & Goodwill to All from North Shore Children & Families

North Shore Children & Families

Community Calendar Continued from page 21

JANUARY 16:

JANUARY 24 – 28:

Open Classroom at Clark School, Danvers, 9-10:30am. www.clarkschool.com

Nothing Day

Admissions Open House at Shore Country Day School, Beverly, 9:15am. www.shoreschool.org

Ditch New Year’s Resolutions Day; Martin Luther King, Jr. Birthday

Experience Eastern Point Day School! 3-12 year olds invited to join art, music, Spanish, drama, literature, story hours & more. Free, but please RSVP. For info.: www.easternpointdayschool.org.

JANUARY 18:

JANUARY 28:

Community Calendar Listings Deadline for FEBRUARY issue! Please submit your listings for FEBRUARY and early March events directly through our website. (See beginning of our Calendar for details.)

Happy 15th Birthday, Madison Provencher! xo

JANUARY 9: Open House at Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School, Beverly, noon. www.stoneridgecms.org

JANUARY 17:

JANUARY 14: JANUARY 12: Happy Birthday, Peter Theriault! xo Open House at Tower School, Marblehead, 9-11am. www.towerschool.org

Advertising Space Reservation DEADLINE for ALL ADS for our FEBRUARY issue! Contact suzanne@northshorefamilies.com!

JANUARY 30: Open House at Brookwood School, Manchester, 1-3pm. www.brookwood.edu

JANUARY 20:

Open School at Harborlight Montessori School, Beverly, 9-11am. www.harborlightmontessori.org

Dress Up Your Pet Day

JANUARY 13:

Deadline to enter to win tickets to see Mary Poppins! See page 2!

Happy Birthday, Stephen Perroni! xo Happy Birthday, Veronica Ventocilla Teel! xo

Hat Day

JANUARY 15:

Happy New Year! Wish you could give the person who has everything something they don't have?

Personalized Poems & Prose by Suzanne The perfect gift to enhance any special occasion. Clever verses for your invitations and thank you notes. Speeches, toasts and roasts. Birthdays • Graduations • Showers Weddings • Anniversaries • Births • Retirements • Holidays All Special Occasions

Life Celebrations specializing in poignant, personalized eulogies – available in prose and in verse. Celebrate your loved one's life and share their story. Your guests will leave with smiles, fond memories and lots to talk about.

781.584.4569

or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com Samples available.

Open House at Glen Urquhart School, Beverly Farms, 9-11am. www.gus.org

Big Joe the Storyteller at Cohen Hillel Academy Open House, 1pm, 6 Community Rd., Marblehead. www.cohenhillel.org

JANUARY 23:

FEBRUARY 5:

Happy Birthday, Leanne Labrecque-Brown! xo

SummerScape 2011, the North Shore’s Summer Camp Fair, at Glen Urquhart School, Beverly Farms; 11am3pm (snow date 2/6). Free; www.gus.org.

Admissions Open House at Shore Country Day School, Beverly, 11am. www.shoreschool.org

North Shore Children & Families

Service Directory

ART INSTRUCTION

FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT

SCHOOLS

TheArtRoom Topsfield 978.887.8809 www.theartroomstudio.com

Mary Poppins at The Boston Opera House Feb. 17 - March 20, 2011 See back cover to buy tickets! See page 2 to win tickets!

Cohen Hillel Academy Marblehead 781.639.2880 www.cohenhillel.org

Shore Country Day School Beverly 978.927.1700 www.shoreschool.org

Covenant Christian Academy West Peabody 978.535.7100 www.covenantchristianacademy.org

Sparhawk School Amesbury & Salisbury 978.388.5354 www.sparhawkschool.com

Eastern Point Day School Gloucester 978.283.1700 www.easternpointdayschool.org

Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School Beverly 978.927.0700 www.stoneridgecms.org

DANCE INSTRUCTION Boston Ballet School/ North Shore Studio Lynch/van Otterloo YMCA, Marblehead 617.456.6380 www.bostonballet.org/school DENTAL CARE Andover Pediatric Dentistry Andover & Lawrence Locations www.andoverpediatricdentistry.com Drs. Merle, Zicherman & Associates Peabody & Lynn www.mzdental.com DEVELOPMENTAL EVALUATIONS Pediatric Neuropsychology Service Salem 781.249.2901 www.pedi-neuropsych.com DEVELOPMENTAL LEARNING Brain Balance Achievement Centers Danvers 978.705.9570 www.brainbalancecenters.com

FAMILY FUNCTIONS The Bayside of Nahant 781.592.3080 www.baysidefunctions.com FUN & FITNESS The Little Gym Danvers and Woburn www.tlgdanversma.com www.tlgwoburnma.com Mall Tots at Liberty Tree Mall, Danvers See our ad on page 17! www.malltots.com

Glen Urquhart School Beverly Farms 978.927.1064 www.gus.org Harborlight Montessori Beverly 978.922.1008 www.harborlightmontessori.org

SCHOOLS Austin Preparatory School Reading 781.944.4900 www.austinprepschool.org Brookwood School Manchester 978.526.4500 www.brookwood.edu The Cape Ann Waldorf School Beverly Farms 978.927.1936 www.capeannwaldorf.org

North Shore Montessori School Rowley • 978.948.2237 www.northshoremontessori.org The Phoenix School Salem 978.741.0870 www.phoenixschool.org The Pike School Andover 978.475.1197 www.pikeschool.org

Tower School Marblehead 781.631.5800 www.towerschool.org

SPECIAL EDUCATION LAW Education Consulting, Advocacy & Legal Services 781.231.4332 Serving MA, including the North Shore

www.educationandjuvenilelaw.com

SUMMER CAMPS SummerScape Camp Fair at Glen Urquhart School Beverly Farms: www.gus.org February 5, 2011 (Snow date: Feb. 6)

EARLY EDUCATION

The Children’s Ctr. for Comm. Beverly School for the Deaf Adult sign language classes & toddler/baby sign playgroups. See our ad on page 3!

To advertise: suzanne@northshorefamilies.com 781.584.4569

Little Sprouts Several North Shore Locations 877.977.7688 www.littlesprouts.com

Clark School Danvers 978.777.4699 www.clarkschool.com

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