North Shore Children & Families Winter 2011/2012 by Michael Mascolo

North Shore

Children IN THIS ISSUE Celebrating Our 4th Year & the Holiday Season! Motivating Children:

& Families FREE!

Seasonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Greetings from Our North Shore Family to Yours !

~ Intrinsic Motivation ~ Extrinsic Motivation ~ Developing Lasting Motivation ~ Identifying with a System of Values

Self-Understanding & Moral Development Holiday Emotions Community Calendar Education Feature: Brookwood School

C May All of Your Holiday Wishes ome True! www.northshorefamilies.com

WINTER ISSUE: DECEMBER 2011 - JANUARY 2012

2 North Shore Children & Families

Family & Friends

Celebrating Our 4th Year & The Holiday Season! by Suzanne Provencher, Publisher Another year older – another year stronger – another year of sharing important tools, tips, ideas, resources and information with local, North Shore families! We are FOUR – and entering our 5th year of being a part of your family. So thank you, dear readers and advertisers, for your continued interest and valued support. We are here for you – and because of you. Looking for a great way to have fun, celebrate the season – and help local school children in need? On Tuesday, December 13, the Salem Children’s Charity is hosting their 18th Annual Holiday Fundraiser & Christmas Party at Victoria Station, on Pickering

Wharf in Salem, MA. This popular event features a sumptuous buffet, silent and live auctions, raffles with amazing prizes, sports collectibles and perhaps a sports celebrity or two! The cost is $15 per person, and 100% of all

proceeds raised at the door, auctions and raffles go directly to Salem school children – for basic care items like shelter, food, heat, clothing – and perhaps a little something to the make the holidays a little brighter this year. With so many local families who are struggling, the need is now greater than ever before. Doors open at 5pm (get tickets at the door – but come early as this event is always a sell-out!) – and come ready to bid on some fabulous items, gifts and services – some of the best this publisher and annual event volunteer has ever seen! Make sure you buy plenty of raffle tickets, too – with dozens of prizes including gift certificates to local restaurants, attractions, events and more! To make a personal online donation or

Join Us for Ladies’ Nights Out & Save 20% Off Most Items! Dec. 1 & 8, 5-8pm With wine, snacks, raffles & fun!

to learn more about Salem Children’s Charity, please visit www.salemchildrenscharity.org. We hope you will join us in the spirit of the season. This Winter issue covers two months – December AND January – with a bonus printing to restock our highest traffic distribution locations in early January. We do not have a separate January issue, but we’ll be back to our regular, monthly publishing schedule with our February issue – so watch for this in late January/early February! If you need to advertise in our February issue – please see the Calendar in this issue for our deadlines – and check out the new advertiser specials on page 22! Continued on page 12

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North Shore Children & Families

Letter from the Editor

How Do I Motivate My Child? Twelve-year-old Tommy doesn’t like doing his homework. Even though he knows he is supposed to do his homework as soon as he comes home, he puts it off. It’s not unusual to see Tommy scrambling in the morning to get his work done. Mom and Dad are at their wit’s end. How can we motivate Tommy to do his homework? I want Barbie to do chores around the house. I’ve given her an allowance, but she won’t work for it. I’ve threatened to take away her privileges, but it doesn’t work. I’ve even offered her $10.00 per hour and she doesn’t take me up on it! When she does take on a job, she wants to get it over with as soon as possible. And then she asks for her money! How do I get Manuel to read? He doesn’t seem to want to read on his own. I talked about this problem with his teacher. I asked if I should reward Manuel for reading. She said that Manuel would simply rush through his book just to get the reward. Manuel’s teacher said to promote a love of reading, just keep interesting books around the house and let him choose what to read. But when I do that, he doesn’t read! What motives children to perform well? What makes children want to do well in school? Read? Do chores? Work at the local food pantry? Complete their homework? These are questions about motivation. There has been a longstanding debate when it comes to the question of how to motivate

North Shore Children & Families

children. The debate revolves around the ideas of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Which is better? Providing rewards to motivate children – or finding ways to nurture a child’s intrinsic motivation, to do something just because they want to? Extrinsic motivators are those that come “from the outside”. Extrinsic motivation is about the pursuit of external rewards. These can include prizes, stickers, money, the approval of others, recognition, praise, privileges and so forth. The logic of extrinsic rewards is built into our society. People go to work (something that they don’t necessarily want to do) in order to receive a paycheck. Students do their schoolwork in order to obtain grades. If we want workers to produce more widgets, we give them incentives. If we want someone to produce more widgets, offer them the incentive of more money. Intrinsic motivation occurs when children (and adults) do something simply out of their own inherent interest. To see intrinsic motivation in action, look no further than an infant. Infants do not act in order to receive rewards. Instead, they come into the world with a sense of curiosity. They explore new objects; they look closely at people, animals and other things that move. They do not have to be encouraged to play. Babies seem to direct their own actions without the need for external rewards. Children seem to be intrinsically interested in everything around them. However, it is not long until they seem to lose much of their intrinsic motivation and begin to seek external rewards. By the time children are in school, they no longer show the type of interest in new ideas that they did when they were three years old and asking question after question after question. What happens to children?

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P.O. Box 150 Nahant, MA 01908-0150 781.584.4569 A publication of North Shore Ink, LLC © 2011. All rights reserved. Reproduction in full or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Suzanne M. Provencher Publisher/Co-Founder/Managing Partner suzanne@northshorefamilies.com Michael F. Mascolo, PhD Editor/Co-Founder/Partner michael@northshorefamilies.com Designed by Group One Graphics Printed by Seacoast Media Group Please see our Calendar in this issue for our upcoming deadlines. Published and distributed monthly throughout the North Shore, 10x per year, and always online. All articles are written by Michael F. Mascolo, PhD unless otherwise credited. Information contained in NSC&F is provided for educational and entertainment purposes only. Individual readers are responsible for their use of any information provided. NSC&F is not liable or responsible for the effects of use of information contained in NSC&F. Established 2007.

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Motivating Children

Intrinsic Motivation: “I Do It Because It’s Interesting.” If you give monkeys an object that they have not seen before, they might spend hours exploring it and manipulating it. Why? They receive no tangible reward from doing so. They do this simply for the joy of finding out more, for the joy of exploring and to satisfy their curiosity. They act out of an intrinsic curiosity and interest about the world. The same is true of the little monkeys that we call our children. One does not have to reward young children to explore their world, to ask questions or to seek out new events. It seems to come naturally to them. Young children seem to act on the basis of what seems interesting to them. There is a lot of research on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Research has produced many clear findings

about how intrinsic and extrinsic motivation work. I’ll review some of the basic findings below.

were neither told of the ribbon nor given the ribbon. These children made up the No Reward group.

In one of the first studies to show the importance of intrinsic motivation, a group of researchers gave young children (3-5 year olds) a set of markers to draw with. The children were divided into three groups. Children in the first group were told that they would receive a “Good Player” ribbon for playing with the markers. As a result, this group Expected Reward at the end of their play. The second group of children was not told that they would receive the “Good Player” ribbon, but they were given the ribbon after the play session was over. This group received an Unexpected Reward at the end of their play. The third group of children

After the three groups of children played with the markers, the researchers ended the play session and gave the first two groups their rewards. The children were then given the opportunity to play with the markers again. The question was: Which group would play with the markers the longest? It was the children who received no reward for playing with the markers. What does this mean? The children were naturally interested in playing with the markers. Giving children rewards for playing with the markers undermined their natural interest in doing the activity. Extrinsic motives

(in this case, being rewarded with a “Good Player” ribbon) undermined the child’s intrinsic interest in the activity. The children who received the rewards shifted their attention from the joys of playing with the markers to the desire to receive the reward. There is also evidence that using rewards can undercut a person’s capacity to solve problems. Daniel Pink, in his recent book Drive, describes research performed by Sam Glucksberg of Princeton University. Glucksberg explored the role of reward in motivating people to engage in creative problem solving. In his study, Glucksberg gave people a candle, a matchbook and a box of tacks as illustrated in the picture on the next page:

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leads to poorer performance. Why is this the case?

The task? Attach the candle to the wall in such a way that the wax will not leak onto the table below it. Now this problem requires that people overcome something called functional fixedness, which is the tendency to think of common objects in terms of their typical functions. For example, when we look at the materials before us, we see three objects: the candle, some tacks and a matchbook. We tend not to see the box – and if we do, we think of it as, well, a box. We don’t think of it, for example, as a candle holder! But that is the key to solving the problem. When we gain this insight, we see that we can use the tacks to attach the box to the wall. We can then use the matches to melt the candle in the box like this:

Think about it this way: If I simply ask you to solve the problem, what are you thinking? You sit back and your attention is focused on the problem. The problem may even interest you; it may provide a conceptual challenge for you to overcome. But in any case, your motive is to solve the problem and your full attention is focused on the problem itself. However, if I offer you a reward to solve the problem, what are you thinking? You are immediately distracted. Your mind is focused on the reward and not on the problem. The problem becomes secondary to the primary goal of obtaining the reward. The reward focuses your attention narrowly on, well, the reward! As a result, the reward undermines a person’s capacity to perform creative tasks like this one. Where Intrinsic Motivation Falls Short So, sounds good, doesn’t it? Rewards undercut children’s natural curiosity and interest. Somehow, infants come into the world intrinsically motivated, and, over time, turn into children and adults who need rewards in order to spur them into action. What happens to children? Why don’t they retain their intrinsic motivation? Well, let’s take another look at the marker study.

Now, Glucksberg divided his participants into two groups. The first group was offered a reward for finding the solution to the problem; the second group was offered no reward. Both groups of participants eventually solved the puzzle. However, the group who was offered the reward solved the puzzle much more slowly than the group that was not offered the reward. This might sound counter-intuitive. It is customary to think that incentives lead to better performance. But here is a case in which an incentive actually

The marker study showed that giving children rewards undermines their interest in a task for which they already show intrinsic interest. The children enjoyed playing with the markers before the study even began. If a child is already interested in performing a task, rewarding him for doing it can undercut that interest by making the child focus on the reward rather than the task. But this is not the situation that most parents are concerned with. Most parents are worried about how to motivate their children to engage in activities that are not inherently enjoyable or interesting to them. Do we want our children to take a spontaneous interest in a wide variety of different activities, including, for

North Shore Children & Families example, their academic work? Of course! But one of the problems with much current thinking about “intrinsic motivation” is that it often seems to suggest that if we simply let children’s own curiosity drive them, they will be interested in everything. But this simply isn’t true. None of us is naturally interested in everything.

There are some things that capture our attention and others that do not. All of us need help moving past our comfort zones. If we simply “leave children alone” and allow them to follow their spontaneous interests, children will never develop the skills to move beyond those interests.

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Motivating Children

Extrinsic Motivation: “I Do It to Get the Reward.” Does extrinsic motivation begin where intrinsic motivation leaves off? Sometimes, parents and educators are advised to use external incentives (e.g., rewards, stars, prizes, praise, etc.) to motivate children when their intrinsic interest in activities wanes. Is this an effective strategy for motivating children to engage in activities that do not hold their inherent interest (e.g., homework, reading books, chores, etc.)? Using rewards can be effective in motivating children to do things that they might not otherwise want to do. This has been shown many times, and is supported by our own everyday experience. However, as shown in the candle study, when we use external incentives to motivate, a person’s attention becomes fixated on obtaining the reward. This can have the result of undermining not only a person’s interest in the activity in question, but also the quality of a person’s performance – at least for problems that involve some degree of complexity and creativity. However, there are circumstances in which the use of incentives increases the quality of a person’s performance. Rewards both motivate and augment performance for relatively routine tasks that do not require creative thinking or complex behavior. To illustrate that this is the case, let’s return to Sam Glucksberg’s study (again, described in Pink’s Drive) using the candle task. In another study, Glucksberg asked two groups of individuals to perform the candle task. Like the study described above, one group was offered a reward while the other group was not. In this study, the participants were provided with the same objects as before. However, the objects were displayed differently: Instead of presenting the tacks inside of the box, the tacks and the box were displayed separately, like this: Although the objects are exactly the same, this way of presenting them reduces the tendency of people to think of the box simply as a container for the tacks. (In other words, it reduced the participants’ functional fixedness – they could see that the box could be used as something other than its typical function.) What were the results of the study? This time, the participants who were offered rewards solved the problem much more quickly than those who were not offered a reward. Why did this happen? Although the objects were exactly the same, presenting the tacks and the box separately made the task much easier. The presence of the reward focused the attention of the participants on the quickest, most routine and obvious solution. In the absence of the reward, participants focused on the task itself, and presumably examined different possible ways to solve the problem before settling on the correct solution. Does reward motivate behavior? Yes, but then people will work to obtain the reward rather than to perform the task. Does reward motivate quality performance? Yes, but only when the task is a simple one that does not require creative thinking. Rewards motivate people

to perform simple, routine and tedious tasks that they would not ordinarily want to do. They promote neither creativity nor investment and engagement in the task at hand.

Neither from the Inside Nor the Outside: Lasting Motivation Develops from What Happens Between Children & Other People It seems that neither relying on “intrinsic” or “extrinsic” motivation is going to be able to get us to where we want to go. It seems that we are trapped in a dilemma: “If I leave my child alone, he won’t move beyond his comfort zone. But if I use rewards, I undercut his inner motivation.” What’s a parent to do? The way forward is to see that, while they are very different, the ideas of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation are both based on the same idea: A child’s motivation either comes from the inside or from the outside. The theory of intrinsic motivation is what I like to call an “inside-out” theory. This is a theory that says that a child’s external behavior starts from an “inner” motivation. The theory of extrinsic motivation states just the opposite. Motivation starts from the outside and works its way inside. The theory of extrinsic motivation is an “outside-in” theory. The problem here is that both of these two approaches are too simplistic. Motivation comes neither from the “inside-out” nor from the “outside-in”. Instead, it comes from between. That is, it comes from what happens between a child and her parents, between a child and her teachers, between the child and the world around her. What might this mean? What gets us moving is neither something inside of us

North Shore Children & Families

nor something outside of us – it’s what happens between you and me over time. What’s happening between Sally and her mom in this situation? Sally comes home from school. She wants to play with her friends. Mom says, “Uh oh. We have to finish our homework first”. Sally puts up some weak resistance, but sits down to do her math. She needs help. Mom sits down to help. “I know how to subtract with the small numbers, but I can’t do the subtraction when you have to regroup”, says Sally. “I hate math!” Mom replies, “You mean you can’t do it yet! It can be really hard to learn new things the first time. It takes courage and persistence! But I’m here to help. We’re going to work hard and by the end of this hour, you will have learned something new and I’ll bet you’ll feel good about it.” This is an everyday situation. Is this an example of intrinsic motivation or extrinsic motivation? Is Sally’s motivation coming from within Sally alone? Is it coming from external rewards provided by her mother? To be sure, both Sally and her mother are contributing to this interaction. Sally’s motivation to do her homework is something that is developing right there in the moment – right there between Sally and her mother: In this example, Sally’s motivation to complete her math work is something that is developing through her relationship with her mother. In particular, in countless interactions like these, Sally brings her likes and dislikes to the homework table. She likes doing the math that she can do easily. She likes word problems but gets frustrated with learning new rules. Sally’s mother helps her to manage her frustration and break down the problems so that Sally can learn and be successful. And what motivational power does Sally derive from her interactions with her mother (and with others)? Please do read on.

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Motivating Children

What Ultimately Motivates? Identifying with a System of Values: “I Do It Because I Have Learned to Value It.” As Sally’s mother helps her with her math homework, Sally is learning much more than mathematics. More than anything, Sally’s mother is helping Sally to develop her sense of herself as a learner. In her interactions with her mother, Sally is developing an identity – a “theory of herself” as a learner. For example, Sally is learning: • Mom is here to help me through this. • When Mom breaks it down, I am successful. • If I can break it down, I will be successful. • When I take the problem step by step, I don’t get so frustrated. • I should show courage when things get hard. • If I persist, I will learn. • Mathematics is worthwhile. • If I am a good student, people will respect me. • It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I can’t do it yet. • I learned something that I didn’t know how to do before. • It feels good to work hard and have it pay off. What will motivate Sally to do her homework? Her inherent love of mathematics? Probably not. In general, we don’t first love mathematics and therefore do mathematics. It’s just the opposite: We come to love mathematics when we get good at it. What will motivate Sally to do her homework? The promise of prizes from her mother? Perhaps, but only as long as the prizes keep coming – and only as long as Sally is interested in the prizes. And then, she’ll be motivated to get the prize, not to do her homework or to learn mathematics. What will motivate Sally to do her homework? Our deepest motivations come from our identification with some system of values. Our deepest motivations develop slowly over time through the thousands of interactions we have with the important people in our lives. Our deepest motives consist of our attempt to live up to valued images of success – images of who we are and who we want to become. Such valued images do not simply come from within us, nor are they simply handed down to us from our parents or elders. Our identities – our theories of ourselves – develop slowly in countless interactions with parents, teachers, mentors, friends, peers and so forth. Our identities – our valued theories of ourselves – are powerful motivators. When we identify ourselves with a set of values, images and ideals, we become motivated to uphold those values, images and ideals. After all, those values and ideals become who we are; they become our selves. The Value of Internalizing Values There are many ways in which parents attempt to influence their children. Here are three of them: Power Assertion: Parents have more power than their children. As a result, parents can get children to do quite a lot of things simply by virtue of the Continued on page 10

North Shore Children & Families

Education Feature

Brookwood School – It starts here. They will succeed. They will excel. They will soar.

Brookwood, to encourage the development of decision-making skills and sound ethical sense, to consider a variety of social and moral issues, to help each student gain understanding of self and others, and to promote self-respect, self-confidence and self-esteem.” Fostering Artistic Expression Kids are full of creativity, and at Brookwood that is something to celebrate and empower. Brookwood students have many opportunities to express themselves artistically as well as musically, with all grade levels having art and music instruction several times each week.

What starts here? In a word, everything. At Brookwood, we know that what matters most are children who are happily engaged in their learning and students who are intellectually supported, challenged and encouraged by teachers and peers alike. We know that it is within a warm, child-centered school like Brookwood that children become confident, successful, life-long learners. Dedicated to Academic Innovation Our children will inherit a complex world and preparing them requires a program of both balance and breadth. In a time when many schools are cutting programming and trimming staff, Brookwood has continued its tradition of academic innovation. Brookwood’s curriculum employs the most current methodologies, focusing on inquiry, experience and collaboration rather than simply rote memorization – and it introduces age-appropriate challenges with each subsequent grade level. Whether it’s expanding coursework in the “outdoor classroom” in science, building upon social curriculum in Lower School, or beginning the study of French and Spanish in Grade One and the study of Mandarin in Grade Five, Brookwood teachers and administrators

continuously analyze, improve and strengthen the program offered to our students. Guiding Brookwood students is a top-notch staff of teachers who have graduated from many of the country’s finest colleges and universities; four out of five of them hold advanced degrees. Brookwood’s teachers love teaching kids and are keenly aware that superior learning springs from their ability to build and sustain meaningful relationships with their students. For full curricular descriptions by department, visit brookwood.edu. Click on the “Academics” tab and go to “Curriculum at Brookwood.” A Commitment to Community and Cause Brookwood believes that who a child will become is just as important as what a student will master. Teachers work to help students “find their best selves,” whether it’s learning to listen respectfully to everyone’s best efforts in class or helping a friend who’s had a fall on the playground. Children in all divisions are encouraged to treat their peers with kindness and respect. These values are taught explicitly in PGD (Personal Growth and Development) classes. First developed in 1983, PGD is designed, “to nurture the personal growth of each child at

Nourishing the Developing Athlete Brookwood believes all children have an inner athlete. Through a carefully sequenced program focusing on skill development, individual and team play, and of course, sportsmanship, we encourage healthy competition and the pure joy of physical activity. Our comprehensive physical education program begins in Pre-K and culminates in Grade Six. Following that, students in Grades Seven and Eight choose from eight interscholastic teams (with two levels, varsity and junior varsity). Intramurals are offered for students seeking non-competitive options. Physical education and athletics are integral parts of a Brookwood education. The decision to install a new synthetic turf field (under construction Fall 2011) is in keeping with Brookwood’s tradition of always striving to enhance the experience of its students. Moving to Secondary School Brookwood students matriculate to the finest public, parochial, and independent day and boarding schools in the country. The majority of the Class of 2011 was accepted to their first or second choice secondary school while over eighty percent of the Class of 2010 scored above the 90 percentile in the SSAT (national norm).

LOCATION & FACILITIES: On 30 wooded acres on Boston’s North Shore, the Brookwood campus is minutes from Route 128 on the Beverly/Manchester line. The campus features a 15,000 volume library and learning center; a state-of-the-art science department with four laboratory classrooms and a 1,000 square-foot “science gym” for experiment and study; a Writing Center; two acoustically-designed music classrooms, a professional recording studio and several practice rooms; three art classrooms; clay studio with kiln; two computer labs; a four-classroom world language center with a 16-station computer lab; one synthetic turf athletic field (under construction Fall 2011), one grass field; two gymnasiums; and a dining room. TECHNOLOGY: More than 285 computers are found throughout Brookwood. In addition to both Mac and PC computer labs, there are laptops with wireless capabilities, digital cameras and scanners. Twenty-five classrooms feature interactive SmartBoards. ADMISSIONS: The best way to get to know Brookwood is to visit our campus. Open Houses during 2011-2012 will be held on: Thurs., December 8, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Sun., January 29, 1-3 p.m. Thurs., February 9, 8:45-10:45 a.m. Walk-ins are welcome. If you know you will attend, you can also RSVP to 978.526.4500. To learn more about Brookwood, please call 978.526.4500 or visit brookwood.edu. One Brookwood Road Manchester, MA 01944 The information contained in this education feature was submitted by Brookwood School, and published in partnership with North Shore Children & Families; www.northshorefamilies.com.

10 North Shore Children & Families

What Ultimately Motivates? Continued from page 8

Making Guided Collaboration Work

parent’s greater power. The parent can punish children, threaten to punish children, withhold privileges, use anger to scare children into compliance and so forth. Love Withdrawal: Children want their parents to love them. Parents use the strategy of love withdrawal when they explicitly or implicitly make their love for the children contingent on a child’s behavior. Examples of love withdrawal can range from the explicit: “I don’t like you when you don’t do your homework” to sulking or withdrawing affection from children when they misbehave. Value Induction: Value induction involves the simple attempt to explain the reasons why any given behavior is desirable or misbehavior is undesirable. When a parent explains the real reasons why he or she values some behavior, children are more likely to appreciate those values and internalize them. Which of these three techniques is the most powerful one? Power assertion and love withdrawal are powerful ways to prompt children to comply with a parent’s wishes. However, they work only in the short term – only when the parent is present. Decades of research unambiguously show that value induction is the only mode of influencing children that has lasting benefits. Children who understand and appreciate a parent’s values are more likely to internalize them and act on them. I Act On My Theory of Who I Want to Be We are, in part, who we think we are. We are, in part, the mindset through which we view ourselves and the world. Who we think we are – our identity – is a kind of “theory; it is a “theory of myself”. We act on the basis of our theories of who we want to be. Johnny wants to be a star football player. He wants the status and adulation that comes from that identity. Being a football star is one way that he can achieve a sense of worth. He values being a football star. The desire to be a football star is a kind of identification. I identify with the football star. I want to be able to identify myself as a football star. Our most powerful motives come from our identifications. We value some way of being and work to identify ourselves with that way of being. The key to motivating children is to continuously ask oneself: How can I help my child build his or her theory of him or herself? What am I doing to help my child identify him or herself with a worthy set of values?

Self-Understanding & Moral Development

How to be a Good Chicken Last week, my son and I spent some time visiting a local farm. There were the usual cows, a couple of sheep and even some horses. But it was the chickens that caught my attention. It was morning, and the chickens were locked up in their coop. One of the farmers (actually, the farmer’s son) arrived at a fenced-in area adjoining the chicken coop. He threw some chicken feed around the enclosed area. He then unlocked the door of

the chicken coop and allowed the chickens to enter the fenced in area for their breakfast. The chickens scrambled toward the food, eating as much as they could. They were virtually running over each other in order to get to their food. Seeing one chicken snatch a chicken pellet from under the seeking beak of another, 12-year-old Jack called out “That’s not right! You’re not a very nice chicken!”

At this point, the offending chicken looked up to my son and said, “My goodness. I had never given that a thought. Whenever I come out for my breakfast, I focus pretty much on getting enough food. I never stopped to think!” “I see”, said my sophisticated son. “But now that you’ve finally stopped to think, what kind of a chicken are you? And what kind of a chicken do you want to be?” “Wait a minute”, said the chicken. “Not so fast. I wasn’t aware that I even WAS a chicken. And now you’re asking me what kind of chicken I want to be? This is all very new to me.” “That’s right”, said Jack. “You are a chicken. What did you think you were?” “I didn’t think I was anything. I mean, that I was anything at all didn’t even cross my mind. If I was aware of anything, it was of my surroundings – of those nasty tasting pellets, of the hay in the coop or the feeling of running around the yard. But I wasn’t aware of my self. I never knew I had a self, or was a self, or…” “Good. So now you know. You are a chicken. And all these other beings flapping their wings around you are other chickens – hens to be exact. And your friend over there is Fred. He is a rooster.” “I like Fred”, said the chicken. “That’s another discussion. Right now we are talking about what a selfish little chicken you have been”, said Jack. “Selfish?” “Yeah, selfish. You gobbled up the chicken food right from under the nose of that chicken sitting next to the fence over there. All you cared about was your self! You didn’t care about the other chickens!” “But I didn’t know that there were other chickens! You mean, those other, uh…chickens – they feel just like me? They feel hungry in the morning just like me?” said the chicken. “You bet. And when you ate her food, she might not have gotten any more. She might still be hungry, because you didn’t share. How does that make you feel?”

“I feel, I don’t know, so…ashamed! I feel guilty! I feel so bad. I’ve hurt a fellow chicken! What did I just say? I have fellow chickens? I never knew. Oh my. What must they think of me?” “Yes, well, what do you want them to think of you? Do you want them to think you are selfish? That you are a haughty hen? A bickering bird? A foul fowl?” Jack was laying it on pretty thick.

“No, I don’t want them to see me that way. I want them to see me as a caring chick. But I don’t want to be a pushover either. I mean, I want what’s coming to me; but I want all the other chickens to get their fair feed.” “I see,” said Jack. “You don’t want to be a chicken chicken, one who is always walking on egg shells or anything like that. You want to be able to stand up for yourself but at the same time be a caring and compassionate chicken. Is that right?” “I think so – compassionate, assertive. In fact, I resolve right now to do my best to be honest and fair, friendly and helpful, considerate and caring, courageous and strong and responsible for what I say and do”, said the chicken. “Oh, you just stole that from the Girl Scout Oath”, said Jack. “Perhaps, but it’s a pretty swell set of virtues, don’t you think? I mean, I now realize that I am something – I’m a self-aware chicken! And as a selfaware chicken, I see that what I think about myself matters. I see that I am, or can be, at least in part, who I think I am. Since I am able to imagine being caring to the other chickens, if I practice being caring, I will turn into a caring chicken. I am, in part, who I think I am! I am my theory of Continued on page 12

North Shore Children & Families

and Happy New Year!

From all of us, at Austin Preparatory School!

12 North Shore Children & Families BOSTON DANCE COMPANY presents

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• Full length production with over 100 dance students from the North Shore • Professional company of 25 dancers • Lavish sets & costumes $25 Adults ~ $18 Children/Seniors Tickets available at 617.491.8615 or www.bostondancecompany.net. Tickets available at the box office on day of performance.

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Good Chicken

Family & Friends

Continued from page 11

Continued from page 2

myself!” “You cagey chicken you…you are indeed a quick study.” “Yes, now that I have self-awareness, I see that I have some decisions to make. I have to decide what kind of chicken I want to be. And I also see that I can’t really do this myself. Who am I? I can only define my ‘chickenness’ in relation to the ‘chickenness’ of my fellow chickens. I cannot aspire to become the best chicken I can be all by myself. I can only do it through the help of my fellow chickens. I need to ponder the advice of the wise elder chickens; I must respect the dignity of my chicken peers. I should try to nurture the new chicks on the block. And through it all, I will come into my true ‘chickenness’.” “Now you’ve got it. Now go along and be a good chicken. That would be something to crow about.”

As we reach our 4th birthday and enter our 5th year – and as the holiday season approaches – I send you the very best wishes, blessings and lots of holiday cheer as your decorate your trees, light your menorahs and Kwanzaa Kinara – or however you choose to celebrate the holiday season and welcome the New Year. May 2012 be filled with wonderful blessings and peace on earth for all – and may we be filled to our brims with gratitude. Count your blessings – not your burdens – and you will always come up rich and full. From our North Shore family to yours – may your holidays be wrapped in family, friends, love & gratitude. Until Next Time – (Which will be our February 2012 issue!) Suzanne

North Shore Children & Families

Holiday Emotions Excitement The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads… The Christmas holidays are filled with excitement – especially for children. For the vast majority of children who celebrate Christmas, their excitement is all about, well, receiving. Children make their lists – often their very long lists of electronic gadgetry rather than sugar-plums. Then they await the big night. The next morning, they wake Mom and/or Dad at an hour that has no reason for existing. The old folks stagger to the Christmas tree to see their offspring rip off the wrapping paper faster than the speed of light. As parents, we both laud and lament the rapture of receiving. After all, we are the ones doing the giving! We want our children to be excited in the same ways we were as kids. The Christmas holidays are times for us to shower our kids in love by showering them in gifts. At the same time, we grouse when our children rush through one gift after another; when they fail to say “thank you”; when they become disappointed about not receiving the gift they wanted, and so forth. The Joy of Giving If we are ambivalent about all the excitement of receiving, it is because we are filled with our own joy of giving. Why do we experience joy in giving? Is it because if we give a gift, we might receive one in return? Of course not. If we experience joy in giving, it is because our giving is an act of love. When we act

Holiday Emotions

out of love, our actions are always about the other person; they are not about us. When we act out of love, we do not sacrifice our selves. When we give out of love, we do not give ourselves away. Instead, we give of our selves. Even if we feel good after we give, we do not simply give in order to feel good. Instead, we give as an expression of our care. Giving makes us feel good because we feel our own power – our capacity to affect the world for good rather than for selfish reasons. And when we give a gift that we think someone will enjoy, we act out of thoughtfulness for the other. To do so is an act not only of care, but also of taking care of the other. We are taking care of our loved one by giving a gift that will nurture his or her growth in some way. This is the real lesson of giving. Exclusion The Christmas holidays are a time of love and joy for many people. However, they are also a time of exclusion for many. If you are someone who celebrates Christmas, you know many – if not most of the people you encounter everyday are likely to do so as well. You enjoyed the Christmas holidays off while you were at school. Very few establishments are open for business on Christmas Day. But what if the situation were different? Imagine that people from a Christian Continued on page 14

14 North Shore Children & Families Holiday Emotions Continued from page 13

background were the minority in our culture. What might that be like? Imagine that most people in our culture were from a Jewish background instead. Imagine that when autumn came around, everyone around you – except you and your closest friends – were to celebrate Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement). Imagine that Rosh Hashanah was celebrated with all the fanfare that Christmas is celebrated for Christians. Imagine that everyone gets the 10 day period between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur off from work. Imagine that all around you, people are wishing each

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other “Happy New Year” during the fall. Imagine that people asked you what you were atoning for on the Day of Atonement. Imagine that there were Jewish songs playing on the radio for the full month of October. How might you feel? Yes, you might feel excluded or even marginalized. Some people feel that way over the holidays. Obligation, Stress and Loneliness If you are older than, say, forty, you know that the hype of the Christmas season starts earlier and earlier each year. It used to be that the hype started in the weeks before Christmas. Then early in December. Then Thanksgiving. Now? After Halloween. The hype is part of the commercialization of Christmas. And with commercialization comes obligatory gift-giving. The character Michael Scott, played by Steve Carell on the television show The Office, is the poster child for the commercialization of gift giving. For him, buying the right-priced gift communicates the dollar value of our care for the recipients of our gifts. For Scott, a gift means, “Hey man, I love you this many dollars”. That’s only part of what makes the holidays stressful. Even when we approach the holidays from the best of intentions – as an expression of love and concern for each other – the holidays bring stress. The rituals and costs of the holidays – the tree, the gifts, cooking, the celebrations, family get togethers, Christmas cards, traveling, parties, making sure the kids see Santa, and so forth – are a lot

to juggle. All this kerfuffle will make the most patient saint long for a vacation. And while many of us embrace the joy of the season, there are many for whom the holidays are a source of loneliness and deep sadness. There are those who have lost loved ones during the Christmas season. For them, the holidays are often a painful reminder of who and what they have lost. There are others who either do not have families with whom to celebrate, or are far away from their families during this time. There are soldiers stationed overseas – many of whom have endured multiple tours of duty – who long to be with their families during the season. And there are the homeless and indigent. Not everyone is able to share in the joy of Christmas. Gratitude and Humility This is the big one – right up there with the joy of giving. This is the one that is often a challenge for our children, and for parents who wish to inculcate a sense of gratitude in children. To be grateful is to acknowledge that one’s good fortune is the result of someone else’s action. To be humble is to acknowledge that one’s undeserved good fortune is the product of the benevolence or confidence of others. In humility, we feel that our happy state is undeserved in the sense that we could not have done it without the help, assistance, kindness or even sacrifice of someone else. The opposite of gratitude and humility is entitlement. A child who feels that he or she is owed a gift is an entitled one. A gift that is given out of love brings with it no expectation of return; a person who accepts a gift with humility does so with the understanding that he or she is the recipient of something that was freely given. Paradoxically, we feel a debt to our benefactor. My knowledge that I could not have this without you makes me want to acknowledge you, thank you, give back to you. This is the greatest lesson of giving and receiving gifts.

Season’s Greetings!

North Shore Children & Families

Resolved: No More New Year’s Resolutions! Do you want to really change your life? There’s a way. Chuck your New Year’s resolutions. That’s right: resolve no more! Get the words “I resolve” out of your vocabulary. Only then can you really begin to change your life. I’m not kidding. New Year’s resolutions are for the birds. Why is this? Because change is not easy. What’s that you say? Isn’t it because change is not easy that I should make New Year resolutions? If I don’t resolve to change, how can I change? That’s just the point. You can’t change your life by resolving to change. The whole concept of a “resolution” is based on a false premise. It is based on the premise that we make deep changes in our life by setting goals and then sticking to those goals. It is based on the premise that personal change is something that I do alone, all by myself, through acts of planning and follow through. It takes acts of will and all that. But have you ever really made any changes in your life that way? (If so, then Continued on page 16

And then, slowly, do some experiments.

16 North Shore Children & Families No More Resolutions! Continued from page 15

more power to you. Ignore the rest of this article.) Is that how you learned to ride your bike? Is that how you learned to play field hockey? How you learned to play the guitar? Is that how you got through college? Is that how you learned to be more patient with your children? Is that how you learned to let go of the stupid things that your spouse does that annoy you to no end? (Oh, I see – you haven’t learned that yet.) Difficult changes in our lives take place slowly. They occur right in the middle of everyday life. They don’t occur as we carve out some idealized oasis of space over there, separate from everything else, and resolve to lose weight, exercise more, learn French and be a nicer person. They occur right there – in the middle of everything – in the middle of all the chaos and joy and friction and care giving and bill paying and arguing and love making. If you want to change your life, the key is to change your life style. Here’s one way to approach life style changes: Identify the things that you want to change. Then, slowly, simply become aware of how you presently deal with these issues in your everyday life. Let’s imagine that you want to…oh, it’s so cliché…okay…lose weight. Don’t resolve: I am going to lose five pounds by January 15th. Instead, start by noticing what you do. Ah! I notice that I tend to eat late at night. I notice that sometimes I’ll go to Tripoli’s Bakery and order a Neapolitan and eat it on the way home from work. I notice that sometimes when I’m full and feel like I’ve eaten too much, I’ll go look for more to eat because, well, I’ve already eaten too much, and eating some more will make me feel a bit better. Just notice.

What would happen if instead of eating a hefty helping of salami and Provolone cheese at 10:00, I went for a plum instead? What would happen if instead of ordering a Neapolitan, I ordered a Neapolitan, cut it in two, and gave half of it to the little girl standing in line in back of me? What would happen if, after I’ve eaten too much, I go back for more, and decide to have that plum instead? I’ll tell you what would happen. I’d go to the fridge, reach for the plum, and then say to myself: I don’t want that dang plum! I want the salami! But wait – why don’t I want the plum? Because I’m not hungry enough to eat the plum! If I was really hungry, I’d eat the dang plum! So I really just want to stimulate my taste buds. Okay, one slice. Or maybe not. I’m making progress, see? Slow progress that comes from slowly, gradually noticing and changing how I live. Little changes add up to big changes over time. When we resolve, we hold time over our heads. When we fail, we give up. When we simply notice and give ourselves the gift of time, we are able to make changes without all the guilt and shame. Give yourself the gift of time. Do it by New Year’s!

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Community Calendar To Submit to our Community Calendar: Please visit us at www.northshorefamilies.com and submit your listings directly through our website. From our Home Page – click on Calendar – then click on Submit in the upper right corner and our form will open for you to complete and submit your listings. While we will make every attempt to post all appropriate listings in our Community Calendar, space is limited – and priority will be given to those events that are free and family-friendly – and those submitted by our advertising partners & sponsors. Calendar listings are generally due by the 15th of each month prior and must be submitted through our website. If you need to guarantee that your listing will be posted – please contact Suzanne to advertise. See our current Calendar for our upcoming issue deadlines. To advertise, please contact Suzanne at suzanne@northshorefamilies.com or 781.584.4569.

For complete listing accuracy, we recommend that you call ahead or check the websites listed. Featured listings do not constitute an endorsement from this publisher and we encourage our readers to always do their own research. DECEMBER IS THE MONTH FOR: Bingo, Write to A Friend, Say “Hi” to Your Neighbors, Stress Free Family Holidays, Read a New Book, Safe Toys & Gifts, Human Rights Month FREE CLASSES: Join North Shore Yoga Studio, Beverly, for a FREE trial class! Mention the ad on page 18 & receive 10% off your first series of classes!

Call today to schedule a FREE introductory class at The Little Gym! Danvers: 978.777.7977; Woburn: 781.933.3388. SAVE TODAY: If you or your family or friends have businesses that need to effectively and efficiently reach North Shore parents with children of all ages, interests & needs – contact Suzanne today to start your 3x “Try Us!” program for new advertisers – and save 10%! See page 22 for more details; view our ad rates, sizes & more online at www.northshorefamilies.com! February 2012 issue ad space reservation deadline is 1/18 if you need ad production assistance – or at noon on Friday, 1/20, if you will be submitting a completed ad.

North Shore Children & Families

Save $50 with the ad on page 16 at Mathnasium,The Math Learning Center, No. Beverly; 1st – 12th grades, SAT & ACT Prep, homework help! Contact Jim today for a no cost evaluation for your student: 978.922.2200. Sign up by Jan. 12 & save $50 with the ad on page 3! Caterpillar Clubhouse Childcare & Preschool, Beverly. Check out the many ways to save at Pint Size and Up, a unique boutique in Marblehead! See ad on page 2!

Enroll by Jan. 31 and save $45 off a Children’s Program (ages 2-7) at Boston Ballet School’s North Shore Studio! See ad on page 8! SIGN UP TODAY: Cape Ann Waldorf School presents Morning Glory Parent & Child Classes, meets every Wed. beg. Dec. 7 for 10 weeks, 9-11am; $280/10 wk. session. For parents/caregivers with children ages 20 months – 3.5 years. Call to register: 978.927.1936. www.capeannwaldorf.org

It’s never too early to start saving for higher education! Dominique Schanley, Financial Advisor with Wells Fargo Advisors in Beverly, can help you! See ad on page 5!

Have an Awesome Birthday Bash at The Little Gym! See ad on page 20 in the North Shore Party Planner!

Holiday Special! 1 room FREE with every 3 rooms cleaned by Marlene’s Green Carpet Cleaning! Call today for FREE estimate: 978.994.4315; see ad on page 18!

Now Enrolling at All Next Generation Children’s Centers; see ad on page 15!

Save 10% off your first series of classes at North Shore Yoga Studio, Beverly! Mention ad on page 18!

Now Enrolling at Our Secret Garden, a new indoor/outdoor Nursery & Preschool in Newbury; see ad on page 2! Open House & Ribbon Cutting on 12/1, 4-7pm.

Check out the special offers from Northside Dental Care in Peabody on page 14! Call 978.535.8244 today to find out how you can get a FREE iPad!

Open Enrollment at St. Stephen’s Nursery School, Marblehead! See ad on page 3! Continued on page 18

18 North Shore Children & Families Community Calendar Continued from page 17 SIGN UP TODAY: It’s never too early to start saving for higher education! Dominique Schanley, Financial Advisor with Wells Fargo Advisors in Beverly, can help you! See ad on page 5! Programs for Kids (Preschoolers, K-5 or ages 9+) at The Community House of Hamilton & Wenham. For schedule, rates & to register: www.communityhouse.org or 978.468.4818 ext. 10.

DONATE TODAY & SAVE THE DATE FOR A GREAT CAUSE: 18th Annual Salem Children’s Charity Holiday Fundraiser/Christmas Party on Dec. 13 at Victoria Station, Pickering Wharf, Salem. Doors open at 5pm; $15pp includes delicious buffet. Features Silent Auction, Live Auction (amazing items to bid on!), sports collectibles and celebrities, raffles (excellent prizes!) – ALL proceeds go directly to meeting the basic and often emergency needs (food, clothing, shelter, holiday toys) of Salem’s school children. For more info. or to donate gift certificates, new items, gifts or services

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to the auctions/raffles, please contact Patty Levasseur at 978.836.1146 or Witchcraft Heights Principal, Mark Higgins, at 978.740.1270. To make an online donation or to learn more about Salem Children’s Charity, please visit www.salemchildrenscharity.org. GET TICKETS NOW FOR: Boston Ballet presents the holiday classic, The Nutcracker, at The Boston Opera House, through Dec. 31. See this version for the last time! Tickets from $35; www.bostonballet.org. Peter Pan, through Dec. 30, Boston City Hall Plaza, ages 5+; www.peterpantheshow.com/boston. Heated tent, show in the round, characters FLY! “Into Neverland” tours available Saturdays.

The Nutcracker, presented by Boston Dance Company, Dec. 11 5pm & Dec. 12 10am; at Collins Center for Performing Arts, 100 Shawsheen Rd., Andover. See ad on page 12! 32nd Annual Christmas in Salem, Dec. 2-4! Tour 13 decorated homes & public spaces, holiday activities, Friday night candlelight tour; $30 gen. adm. www.christmasinsalem.org North Shore Music Theatre, Beverly: A Christmas Carol, Dec. 2-23. For tix & info.: www.nsmt.org or 978.232.7200. Also on sale now: Seussical the Musical, April 2012 show dates. Victorian Family Day, December 3, 10am-9pm, at Old Town Hall in Salem. Net proceeds benefit Make A Wish Foundation. Featuring marionettes, Santa visit,

Sparhawk School teacher, Lauren Provost, was recently appointed to the Massachusetts Department of Elementary and Secondary Education's Mathematics Advisory Council for three years. This Council advises the Commissioner and the Board of Education on matters pertinent to mathematics and science education in the Commonwealth. With public and professional input, the Council assesses statewide trends and needs; analyzes information regarding mathematics and science education; advises and makes recommendations regarding legislation, regulations, and program guidelines pertinent to mathematics and science education. Lauren teaches Mathematics at Sparhawk Lower, Middle & High School in Amesbury, MA. Sparhawk School commends Lauren for her appointment for this prestigious Council, and is proud to have her on our faculty.

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Dickens Parlor Performances, games, story time, crafts, German Cotillion, Old Curiosity Shop & more. For schedule & tix: www.dickensnorthofboston.com.

2pm; $180/10 wk. session. For parents/caregivers with infants ages 3-19 months. Call to register: 978.927.1936. www.capeannwaldorf.org

Salem Theatre Company presents An Empty Plate in the Café du Grand Boeuf, Dec. 1-17; www.salemtheatre.com.

SATURDAYS:

La Cage Aux Folles starring George Hamilton, Dec. 6-18 at the Shubert Theatre, Boston; for ages 13+, tix start at $33. www.broadwayinboston.com Appearing at The Lynn Auditorium: Dec. 2 Get the Led Out; Dec. 8-11 NEYB’S The Nutcracker; Jan. 8 Cirque Shanghai; Feb. 3 Peter Frampton; Feb. 19 The Pink Floyd Experience. www.lynnauditorium.com WEDNESDAYS: Cape Ann Waldorf School presents Morning Glory Parent & Child Classes, meets every Wed. beg. Dec. 7 for 10 weeks, 12:30-2pm; $280/10 wk. session. For parents/caregivers with children ages 20 months – 3.5 years. Call to register: 978.927.1936. www.capeannwaldorf.org Open Houses at Covenant Christian Academy, West Peabody, every Wed. in Jan., 9-11am. See ad on back cover! THURSDAYS: Cape Ann Waldorf School presents Morning Glory for the Youngest Child Parent & Child Classes, meets every Thurs. beg. Jan. 5 for 10 weeks, 12:30-

Parent & Preschooler Playgroup, ages 2.5-5 years, meets most Saturdays beg. Jan. 7, 9-10:30am, at Harborlight Montessori School, Beverly. Free, but advanced reservation required by calling 978.922.1008. See ad on page 4.

North Shore Children & Families

DECEMBER 1 – 4:

DECEMBER 3:

Gingerbread Festival, Jeremiah Lee Mansion, Marblehead; all ages. $3pp, $10/family; proceeds benefit Marblehead Family Fund, Museum & Historical Society. www.marbleheadfamilyfund.org

Open School at Harborlight Montessori School, Beverly; RSVP at 978.922.1008. See ad on page 4!

Honk!, a musical adaptation of The Ugly Duckling, presented by The Children’s Theatre Workshop of Wilmington, 25 Carter Lane; for ages 5+, $8pp. Shows at 7pm on 12/2 + 3 & on 12/3 at 2pm. www.ctwkids.org

Victorian Family Day, 10am-9pm, at Old Town Hall in Salem. Net proceeds benefit Make A Wish Foundation. Featuring marionettes, Santa visit, Dickens Parlor Performances, games, story time, crafts, German Cotillion, Old Curiosity Shop & more. For schedule & tix: www.dickensnorthofboston.com.

DECEMBER 2 – 4:

DECEMBER 3 + 4:

32nd Annual Christmas in Salem! Tour 13 decorated homes & public spaces, holiday activities, Friday night candlelight tour; $30 gen. adm. www.christmasinsalem.org

Santa’s Workshop, 11am-2pm, free for all ages; meet Santa & enjoy the holiday season on Inn Street in Downtown Newburyport. Holiday Open House at Endicott College, Beverly, 1-4pm, free, all ages. RSVP: 978.232.2012.

DECEMBER 1:

Sparhawk School presents A Christmas Carol, 12/2 7pm, 12/3 7pm, 12/4 1pm; $10/door, $8/students & seniors. The Theatre at Sparhawk High School, 196 Main St., Amesbury. www.sparhawkschool.com

World Aids Awareness Day

DECEMBER 2:

Open House & Ribbon Cutting at Our Secret Garden Nursery & Preschool, 47pm. Located at the First Parish Church of Newbury, 20 High Road/Rte. 1A. For parents, children, grandparents & caregivers – meet staff, tour school, let your kids explore. See ad on page 2! www.oursecretgardenfpcn.org

Special Education Day

SUNDAYS: First Baptist Church, 1 Water St., Danvers, 10:30am. Join us for instruction, children’s sermons, friendly congregation w/traditional & contemporary worship. www.fbcdanvers.org THROUGH JANUARY 1: ZooLights at Stone Zoo, nightly 5-9pm! Visit a twinkling winter wonderland, see live animals, fairy tale characters, dancing plush animals, visit Santa (thru 12/23); closed 12/25. www.stonezoo.org

DECEMBER 2 + 3:

DECEMBER 4:

DECEMBER 6: Parent Info. Sessions (grades 6-9) at The Pike School, Andover, 9-11:30am. See ad on page 15! Girls’ Afternoon Out at Hamilton Gardens, 545 Bay Rd./Rte. 1A, 4:30-6pm, $39 for 2; for ages 6-11. Create Holiday Boxwoods with Hamilton Gardens. www.communityhouse.org Continued on page 20

Holiday Invitation Night, 6-9pm, for adults. Enjoy shopping, live entertainment & the holiday spirit as you shop Downtown Newburyport & The Tannery. www.newburyportchamber.org

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20 North Shore Children & Families Open House at Cohen Hillel Academy, Marblehead, 9-11am. See ad on page 14!

Community Calendar Continued from page 19

Parent Info. Sessions (PreK & K) at The Pike School, Andover, 10-11:30am. See ad on page 15!

DECEMBER 7: Waldorf Academics in Action: Grades Tour for Parents & Caregivers, 8:1510:30am at Cape Ann Waldorf School, 701 Cabot St./Rte. 97, Beverly! RSVP at 978.927.1936. See ad on back cover!

DECEMBER 8 – 10:

Cape Ann Waldorf School presents Morning Glory Parent & Child Classes, meets every Wed. beg. Dec. 7 for 10 weeks, 12:30-2pm; $280/10 wk. session. For parents/caregivers with children ages 20 months – 3.5 years. Call to register: 978.927.1936. www.capeannwaldorf.org Open House at Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School, Beverly, 9-11am. See ad on page 12!

Registration Deadline for Fall Entrance Exam at Austin Preparatory School, Reading! (Exam is Dec. 10, 8:30am) www.austinprepschool.org Open House at Brookwood School, Manchester, 6:30pm. Tour school, Head of School Welcome, student panel Q&A! See ad on page 7!

DECEMBER 9: Christmas Card Day Holiday Invitation Night, 6-9pm, for adults. Enjoy shopping, live entertainment & the holiday spirit as you shop Downtown Newburyport & The Tannery. www.newburyportchamber.org Human Rights Day Happy Birthday to Eileen Labrecque! xo Fall Entrance Exam at Austin Preparatory School, Reading! (Register by Dec. 8; www.austinprepschool.org) Young Explorers (3-6 yrs.) & Saturday Adventures (7-10 yrs.) at The Phoenix School, 89 Margin St., Salem, 1011:30am; free (sugg. non-perishable food item donation for food pantry). Programs are designed to challenge & interest bright kids

FEBRUARY ISSUE DEADLINES!

Tues., Jan. 24 February Calendar Listings Due By Tues., Jan. 24 Please submit your listings directly through our website.

To secure your ad space:

suzanne@ northshorefamilies.com

781.584.4569

Cookie Walk Sale, 9am-1pm, at Merrimacport United Methodist Church, 100 East Main St., Merrimac. A fun Christmas event for the whole family! www.merrimacportumc.org Santa’s Workshop, 11am-2pm, free for all ages; meet Santa & enjoy the holiday season on Inn Street in Downtown Newburyport. DECEMBER 11: International Children’s Day Latkes & Laughter for Preschoolers at Cohen Hillel Academy, Marblehead, 10am-12pm; featuring stories, crafts, latkes, Chanukah activities. See ad on page 14! The Nutcracker, presented by Boston Dance Company, Dec. 11 5pm & Dec. 12 10am; at Collins Center for Performing Arts, 100 Shawsheen Rd., Andover. See ad on page 12! Holiday Ice Skating Exhibition, 8:30am, free for ages 3+. Presented by Cape Ann Figure Skating Club, free hot cocoa & cookies! Winter figure skating lessons also available through www.cafsc.org.

DECEMBER 12: The Nutcracker, presented by Boston Dance Company, Dec. 11 5pm & Dec. 12 10am; at Collins Center for Performing Arts, 100 Shawsheen Rd., Andover. See ad on page 12! Student Showcase at Endicott College, Beverly; 5pm, free for all ages. Performances include dance, chamber music, music theater, drama, voice & instrumental. www.endicott.edu/centerforthearts DECEMBER 13: Open House at Tower School, Marblehead, 9-11am. See ad on page 6! 18th Annual Salem Children’s Charity Holiday Fundraiser/Christmas Party at Victoria Station, Pickering Wharf, Salem. Doors open at 5pm; $15pp includes delicious buffet. Features Silent Auction, Live Auction (amazing items to bid on!), sports collectibles and celebrities, raffles (excellent prizes!) – ALL proceeds go directly to meeting the basic and often emergency needs (food, clothing, shelter, holiday toys) of Salem’s school children. For more info. or to donate gift certificates, new items, gifts or services to the auctions/raffles, please contact Patty Levasseur at 978.836.1146 or Witchcraft Heights Principal, Mark Higgins, at 978.740.1270. To make an online donation or to learn more about Salem Children’s Charity, please visit www.salemchildrenscharity.org.

The North Shore Party Planner

Ad Space Closes Fri., Jan. 20 All Ads Due/Done By

Breakfast with Santa at The Community House of Hamilton & Wenham, 7:30-10am. $9pp, $5 children under 12 mos.; reservation required. Bring a toy for a local child in need. www.communityhouse.org

DECEMBER 10 + 11:

DECEMBER 10:

Open School at Harborlight Montessori School, Beverly; RSVP at 978.922.1008. See ad on page 4! DECEMBER 8:

Repertory Dance Ensemble at Endicott College, Beverly; 12/8 + 12/9 7:30pm, 12/10 2pm; $5 gen. adm., free to ECID holders. www.endicott.edu/centerforthearts

who like to explore & solve problems while learning science, technology, engineering, arts & math (STEAM). www.phoenixschool.org

To advertise, please contact suzanne@northshorefamilies.com.

The

Bayside of Nahant

Oceanfront Splendor... Magnificent Views... Elegant & Affordable North Shore's best kept secret & the perfect location for: • Weddings,

Personalized Poems & Prose by Suzanne For Gifts A Personalized Poem Makes a Perfect Gift for Any Special Occasion

Speeches, Toasts & Roasts

781.592.3080

781.584.4569

www.baysidefunctions.com

· Private party – clean, safe, beautiful facility all to yourselves. · Instructor led – great age-appropriate games and activities. · Stress-free for The Little Gym of Danvers parents…we take 978.777.7977 care of EVERYTHING! www.tlgdanversma.com Call for details.

The Little Gym of Woburn 781.933.3388 • www.tlgwoburnma.com

A COOL PARTY STORE! Route 110, Salisbury

1.855.45.PARTY www.gofunnybones.com

For Invitations

Showers • Birthdays, Sweet 16s • Bar/Bat Mitzvahs • Anniversaries • All Special Occasions • Wedding & Function Packages • Many Menus to Choose From One Range Road, Nahant

Have an Awesome Birthday Bash at The Little Gym!

Clever, Custom Verses for Your Invitations & Thank You Notes

For Events

suzanne @northshorefamilies.com

Birthday Party on Roller Skates! Roller World, Saugus 781.233.3255 Party Line

Ages 5 & Under Birthday Parties at

www.malltots.com 978.777.6411

DECEMBER 15:

DECEMBER 20:

Bill of Rights Day

Hanukkah begins at sundown (Dec. 20-28).

Phoenix Kids’ Art Show Open House, 6:30-7:30pm, at The Phoenix School, Salem. Free, all ages welcome. www.phoenixschool.org

Go Caroling Day; Games Day

DECEMBER 31:

DECEMBER 21:

New Year’s Eve – please celebrate safely & responsibly!

DECEMBER 16:

DECEMBER 22:

Application Deadline for Austin Preparatory School, Reading. www.austinprepschool.org

Remembering Nanna Roderick on her birthday…and always! xo

Look on the Bright Side Day

Winter Solstice; 1st day of Winter – shortest day of the year.

DECEMBER 17: My Daddy Rocks! 11:30am at The Community House of Hamilton & Wenham; $8pp, Dads are FREE! $25 max. cost/family. Concert with Brian Doser & band for kids of all ages – Moms are welcome, too! Advance ticket purchase recommended as space is limited. www.communityhouse.org Christmas Concert at The Community House of Hamilton & Wenham, 7:30pm. $10 advance, $12 at door. www.communityhouse.org DECEMBER 17 + 18:

DECEMBER 23: Remembering “Mrs.” Chelsea. xo DECEMBER 24: Family Christmas Eve Worship, 4pm, at Merrimacport United Methodist Church, 39 High St., Merrimac; all ages welcome. www.merrimacportumc.org DECEMBER 25: Merry Christmas! DECEMBER 26: Kwanzaa begins (Dec. 26-Jan. 1).

Santa’s Workshop, 11am-2pm, free for all ages; meet Santa & enjoy the holiday season on Inn Street in Downtown Newburyport.

HAPPY 50th STEVE!

DECEMBER 18: Bake Cookies Day DECEMBER 19:

North Shore Children & Families

Remembering Tami Bertini. xo JANUARY IS THE MONTH FOR: Bath Safety, Blood Donors, Braille Literacy, Hobbies, Hot Tea, Oatmeal, Soup, Eye Care, Staying Healthy,Thank You Month

performance, 1-2pm, at Wenham Museum, 132 Main St. No additional charge beyond museum’s admission fee; for ages 4+ & caregivers. www.wenhammuseum.org Lynn Auditorium presents Cirque Shanghai – a great family show! www.lynnauditorium.com See ad on page 18! JANUARY 10:

New Year’s Day!

School Wide Open House, 5-7pm, at Little Sprouts; several N.S.locations. See ad on page 17!

JANUARY 4:

JANUARY 11:

Open House at Covenant Christian Academy, West Peabody, 9-11am. See ad on back cover!

Coming of Age Day

JANUARY 1:

JANUARY 6: Dia de Reyes; Epiphany JANUARY 7:

Open House at Tower School, Marblehead, 9-11am. See ad on page 6! Open House at Covenant Christian Academy, West Peabody, 9-11am. See ad on back cover!

Open School at Harborlight Montessori School, Beverly; RSVP at 978.922.1008. See ad on page 4!

JANUARY 8:

JANUARY 13:

Cape Ann Waldorf Magical Strings Puppet Troupe & Strings Music

Happy 50th Birthday to my BFF, Stephen Perroni! xo

JANUARY 12: Happy Birthday, cousin Peter! xo

Look for an Evergreen Day

Continued on page 22

North Shore Children & Families is available for free each month at over 425 familyfrequented locations throughout the North Shore!

Attention Advertisers: Ask us about our … … “Try Us!” program for new advertisers … Annual advertising frequency programs … The Annual Planner for Schools program … The North Shore Party Planner program … Annual Summer Camps & Programs Showcase series … Service Directory Target your message to North Shore parents. We’ve got the North Shore covered!

2012 PUBLISHING SCHEDULE Issue

Ad Space Deadline

Ads Due

February March April

Fri., Jan. 20 Fri., Feb. 17 Fri., Mar. 16

Tues., Jan. 24 Tues., Feb. 21 Tues., Mar. 20

To explore your advertising options or to secure your space, please contact Suzanne at 781.584.4569 or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com. To learn more, please visit www.northshorefamilies.com.

From Our North Shore Family to Yours – We Wish You the Happiest of Holidays! Peace & Goodwill to All from North Shore Children & Families

22 North Shore Children & Families

JANUARY 25: JANUARY 21:

Community Calendar Continued from page 21 JANUARY 13: Happy Birthday to Veronica Ventocilla Quiroga Teel & to Greg Tuttle Make Your Dreams Come True Day JANUARY 14:

You can see our ad rates, sizes & available discounts at www.northshorefamilies.com. See page 22 for new advertiser specials! Open House at Covenant Christian Academy, West Peabody, 9-11am. See ad on back cover! JANUARY 19:

Free enrichment programs at The Phoenix School, Salem, 10am. www.phoenixschool.org JANUARY 16: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday (observed) JANUARY 17: Waldorf Middle School Curriculum Presentation & Alumni Panel, 7-8:30pm, at Cape Ann Waldorf School, Beverly. Free for parents; www.capeannwaldorf.org. JANUARY 18:

If you need to advertise in our FEBRUARY issue, and if you need our ad production assistance, please confirm your ad size and submit your ad materials TODAY!

National Hugging Day JANUARY 22: Explore Shore! Open House at Shore Country Day School, Beverly, 11am2pm. For families w/children ages 4-13. See ad on page 10! Open House at Stoneridge Children’s Montessori School, Beverly, 12:302:30pm. See ad on page 12!

Open House at Glen Urquhart School, Beverly, 9-11am. (snow date 1/20) See ad on page 13!

JANUARY 23:

JANUARY 20:

Happy Birthday, Leanne! xo

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dom! xo

JANUARY 24:

Advertising Space Reservation DEADLINE at NOON for ADS in our FEBRUARY issue! To advertise, contact suzanne@northshorefamilies.com! If you need our ad production assistance, please confirm your ad size and submit your ad materials by 1/18! You can see our ad rates, sizes & available discounts at www.northshorefamilies.com.

Compliment Day

Winter Advertising Specials For New Display Advertisers:

Buy One - Get One 15% Off! Buy a display ad in our February issue at open rate –

$ave 15% off your March ad! Or - "Try Us!" in 3 consecutive issues –

and $ave 10% off all 3 display ads! February issue ad space deadline is Fri., Jan. 20 (or by Jan. 18 if you require our ad production assistance!); completed ads are due by Tues., Jan. 24. To secure your space and $ave – contact Suzanne by Jan. 20: 781.584.4569 or suzanne@northshorefamilies.com. To see our current issue, advertising rates, size & more, please visit us online at www.northshorefamilies.com.

"Try Us!" – You'll LOVE Us!

Chinese New Year – Year of the Dragon begins.

Community Calendar listings’ DEADLINE for FEBRUARY issue! Please submit your listings for FEBRUARY events directly through our website (see beg. of this Calendar for details). Open House at Covenant Christian Academy, West Peabody, 6-8pm. See ad on back cover!

Open House at Covenant Christian Academy, West Peabody, 9-11am. See ad on back cover! JANUARY 26: Open Classroom at Clark School, Danvers, 9-10:30am. See ad on page 18! Race to Nowhere, film viewing fundraiser presented by FRIES-Doyon (Friends of Ipswich Elem. Schools PTO/Doyon Chapter), 7pm, at Ipswich Performing Arts Center, 134 High St.; $10/advance, $15/at door. For adults & high school students; www.fries-doyon.org for info. & tickets. JANUARY 28: Happy 16th Birthday to my little man, Madison! xo. (As seen on page 2!) Open House at Caterpillar Clubhouse Childcare & Preschool, 10am-noon, for parents with children ages 6 weeks to 5 years; 35 Brimbal Ave., Beverly, 978.921.1536. Family owned & operated. www.caterpillarclubhousebeverly.com JANUARY 29: Open House at Brookwood School, Manchester, 1-3pm; see page 9. Preschool P.E. Fun at Cohen Hillel Academy, Marblehead, 1-3pm. See ad on page 14!

Service Directory

North Shore Children & Families

ART INSTRUCTION

EARLY EDUCATION

SCHOOLS

TheArtRoom Topsfield 978.887.8809 www.theartroomstudio.com

Caterpillar Clubhouse Beverly 978.921.1536 www.caterpillarclubhousebeverly.com

Austin Preparatory School Reading 781.944.4900 www.austinprepschool.org

The Pike School Andover 978.475.1197 www.pikeschool.org

CARPET CLEANING

Little Sprouts Several North Shore Locations 877.977.7688 www.littlesprouts.com

Brookwood School Manchester 978.526.4500 www.brookwood.edu

Shore Country Day School Beverly 978.927.1700 www.shoreschool.org

Next Generation Children’s Centers Locations include Andover & Beverly 866.711.NGCC www.ngccenters.com

Cape Ann Waldorf School Beverly 978.927.1936 www.capeannwaldorf.org

Sparhawk School Amesbury 978.388.5354 www.sparhawkschool.com

Our Secret Garden Newbury 978.465.7070 www.oursecretgardenfpcn.org

The Children’s Center for Communications Beverly School for the Deaf Beverly 978.927.7070 ext. 202 VP: 866.320.3233

Stoneridge Children's Montessori School Beverly 978.927.0700 www.stoneridgecms.org

Marlene’s Green Carpet Cleaning Serving the North Shore 978.994.4315 CHILD DAY CARE Andover/North Andover YMCA Andover 978.685.3541 www.mvymca.org CHILDREN’S RETAIL Pint Size and Up Marblehead 781.639.3699 www.pintsizeandup.com

St. Stephen’s Nursery School Marblehead 781.639.4171 www.ststephensnurseryschool.com

DANCE INSTRUCTION

EDUCATION SAVINGS PLANS

Boston Ballet School/NS Studio Marblehead 781.456.6333 www.bostonballet.org/school

Wells Fargo Advisors Beverly Dominique Schanley 978.524.1611 www.wellsfargoadvisors.com

DENTAL CARE Andover Pediatric Dentistry Andover & Lawrence Locations www.andoverpediatricdentistry.com Drs. Merle, Zicherman & Associates Peabody & Lynn www.mzdental.com Northside Dental Care Peabody 978.535.8244 www.northside-dentalcare.com

FUN & FITNESS The Little Gym Danvers and Woburn www.tlgdanversma.com www.tlgwoburnma.com North Shore Yoga Studio Beverly 978.857.9063 www.northshoreyogastudio.com

Happy New Year!

To advertise, contact Suzanne today! February issue ad space reservation deadline is January 20!

Clark School Danvers 978.777.4699 www.clarkschool.com Cohen Hillel Academy Marblehead 781.639.2880 www.cohenhillel.org Covenant Christian Academy West Peabody 978.535.7100 www.covenantchristianacademy.org Glen Urquhart School Beverly Farms 978.927.1064 www.gus.org Harborlight Montessori Beverly 978.922.1008 www.harborlightmontessori.org The Phoenix School Salem 978.741.0870 www.phoenixschool.org

Tower School Marblehead 781.631.5800 www.towerschool.org Waring School Beverly 978.927.8793 www.waringschool.org SUMMER CAMP FAIR! SUMMERSCAPE 2012 Feb. 4, 11am-3pm (snow date 2/5) at Glen Urquhart School Beverly Farms TUTORING A+ Reading Center Reading Tutor/Individual Lessons

Serving the North Shore 781.799.2598 mperkins@aplusreadingcenter.com Mathnasium The Math Learning Center North Beverly • 978.922.2200 See ad on page 16!