Dec. 18, 2015
ENTERTAINMENT
Blueprint
9
Save your cash and skip out on “Krampus” By Eileen Tyrrell, Head Copy Editor Right from the start I had a bad feeling about “Krampus”. Not the feeling of nervousness I typically get before seeing a scary movie, but rather a feeling of regret: Am I about to make a complete waste out of ten dollars and two hours of my life? The answer, which is as predictable as the plot line of “Krampus” itself: yes. The first two minutes of the film are pretty strong. The opening credits roll across scenes of frantic Black Friday shoppers stampeding through a store, the picture of ironic American holiday cheer that sets the stage for a movie about holidays gone wrong. However, we are soon introduced to a slew of entirely predictable and done-a-milliontimes-before characters. We have the sarcastic teenage girl, the wise grandmother and the redneck uncle, in addition to a few other totally clichéd family members that don’t develop as characters whatsoever. Granted, the movie takes place over only a couple of days, but we see almost no depth at all to any of the characters. For an example of a cliché character role, just look at the old-
Cartoon by Joe Stellato
est daughter. Every horror movie buff knows that the young, attractive female character is always the first to die, especially if she just is about to do something sexually provocative. Just take a look at “Cabin in the Woods,” “Jaws” and “Halloween” for proof. And now “Krampus” has joined the ranks of predictable movies placing characters in totally stereotypical roles. Although the acting in “Krampus” is mediocre at best, the main cause of this lack of character depth is the weak script. Whoever wrote the lines in this movie probably flunked out of film school. The few funny one-liners were separated by long breaks of totally generic “What are we going to do?” type dialogue. However, the absolute biggest problem with “Krampus” by far was its gaping plot holes. I’m not going to spoil anything for those of you who still feel like throwing away 98+ minutes of your life, but let me say that I had a lot of unanswered questions about what exactly was happening, and why. For example, Krampus’s arrival is triggered by one of the main character’s rejection of Santa. Therefore, his attack should be mainly focused around that character and his family. However, multiple cars and houses in the neighborhood are destroyed, implying that Krampus attacked those families as well. It just makes no sense. “Krampus” did do a couple things
right, although not many. Adam Scott played a strong father role; from the start I found myself drawn to and convinced by him. The last thirty seconds of “Krampus” closed out the movie in “A Christmas Carol”reminiscent way that I thought worked pretty well. “Krampus” also did a good job using Christmas music to build suspense and tension in a couple of scenes. Another problem with Krampus is that it doesn’t really project to a solid demographic. It seems to be shooting for the 18-24-year-old audience, but it just isn’t scary enough to pull off a real attraction for young adults who are going simply to get scared. There’s too much language and too many mentions of the truth about Santa Claus for anyone under 12, unless you want to sprint out of the theater after your crying three-yearold who just found out that Santa isn’t real. Yes, this actually happened. And the movie is too dumb for anyone older than 25 to enjoy. “Krampus” holds no appeal for anyone. Aside from those few enjoyable elements that I mentioned, the rest of “Krampus” was overdone, cliché and predictable, with a weak script and gaping plot holes. It was like a mashup of all the worst parts of “Gremlins” and “A Christmas Carol”. I give it a quarter star and an alternate title of “Krapus”. Contact Eileen at etyr2717@csd99.org
How to make some crafty, not costly, holiday gifts By Rupa Palla, Staff Reporter
Wooden Plaque Door Sign
With holiday season just around the corner,buying all these gifts can make your wallet cry. If so, these easy, cost efficient and do it yourself gifts may be the solution for you.
Supplies: -Chalkboard paint -Wooden plaque -Paint brush/sponge -String -Chalk
Hot Cocoa Supply Kit Supplies: -Long plastic bottles -Ribbon -Hot chocolate -Powder -Mini marshmallows -Mug Instructions: 1) Take the various bottles 2) Fill the bottles with each of the food ingredients 3) Put all the ingredients in a mug 4) Decorate the mug
Cookie Mix in Jar Supplies: Quart sized mason jar, 1/2 cup white sugar, -1/2 cup white sugar -1/2 cup chopped pecans -1 cup chocolate chips -1 cup packed brown sugar -2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, mixed with 1 tsp baking soda and 1/4 tsp salt Instructions: 1)Measure all ingredients 2)Separate them in containers 3)Begin layering ingredients and pack them down 4)Seal the jar 5)Decorate the jar When ready to bake: Empty cookie mix into large mixing bowl. Thoroughly blend mix with spoon. Add 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter or margarine, 1 egg and 1 tsp vanilla. Then mix thoroughly. Next shape the dough into walnut sized balls and place 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350°F for 7 to 10 minutes, or until slightly golden. Cool 10 minutes on baking sheet. Remove and put cookies on racks to finish cooling. These cookies will not firm up until completely cooled. Yield: 2 1/2 dozen cookies.
Instructions: 1)Take the chalkboard and paint one coat chalkboard paint 2)Let the paint dry and paint another coat 3)Let the second coat dry 4)Tie a ribbon or string on the board
Photos compiled by Rupa Palla Contact Rupa at rpal0410@csd99.org