December 2015 & January 2016 • Moms Just Know • Free
giving Experiences Rather than Gifts
10 Signs You’re Winning at Motherhood Dressing For Pregnancy The Common Cold
The Power
Elf On The Shelf Of
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
3
F R O M THE P U B LI S HER
7
Things We
Love
(at FAMILY)
Right Now!
Things
We Learned Making
The December Issue
1. Peace 2. New Chapters 3. Fresh Evergreen 4. Frosted Christmas Cookies
1. Give this holiday season instead of receiving. Turn to page 12 and read how one mom has changed her children’s views on giving back during this time of year!
5. Forgiveness 6. Red Gel Polish
2. How well do you know your Christmas movies? Visit page 25 and test your knowledge!
3. Don’t hide your baby bump, flaunt it! Dress up this holiday season and embrace your baby bump with these easy tips on page 18.
7. Angels 8. Giving 9. Peppermint Anything 10. Paper Whites 11. The Real Reason for the Season 12. Jammy Time 13. Family
4. Don’t go cheap when purchasing a dog leash. Find out what areas you can save on when purchasing a new puppy on page 26. 5. Not all colds require medication. Turn to page 16 and learn how to avoid the common winter cold this season! 6. Elf on the Shelf can keep your kids on their best behavior. Visit page 10 and learn more about Elf on the Shelf! 4
THE
7. Your husband can be a part of your baby shower! Learn how you can incorporate dad into the baby shower on page 20.
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
Check it Out!
Don’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASSY & Boom Mag azine!
DECEM
BER 2015
• JANUA
RY 2016
R
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Winter
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Worko
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Holid HealtHay travel and sa fety
Mean CHris ingful tMas gifts
Bel
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Ho lid How ay To M Rock AT Anakeu Ti y Ag p R C ps To e ar kick eer sT in 20 ART AS 16 tr Holi eSS-F dAy ree pART y
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20 15
• Ja
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20 16
4Keeps
By: Casey Kiel
Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com
READER
tesitmonials
“The Centerfold Calendar is always full of fun things to do with your kids, husband and girlfriends!“ – Haley B. “The FAMILY Magazine gives great tips on recipes, home décor and daily organization in every issue.” – Elise W. “I love the FAMILY Magazine! I always get extra copies when I can find them and give them to my family and friends.” – Kimmi B. We’d LOVE to hear from you! CONTAST US AT.... jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
the FAMILY magazine
Of
table
25
26 Product Review: Puppy Savings By: Lara West
28 In The Season Of Reconnection With Family… Don’t Forget Your Spouse
4 Things We Love Right Now 5 4Keeps Comic
By: Amy Westbrook Pracht
7 Contributors 8 The FAMILY Month Calendar
28
Family Craft
7 Christmas Art Made Simple
25 Holiday Family Movie Trivia
27 Book Review: Parenting: Illustrated With Crappy Pictures By Amber Dusick Reviewed By: Brittany J. Young
By: Meagan Church
10 The Power of Elf On The Shelf By: Jackie Folkert
Family Kids
12 Giving Experiences Rather Than Gifts By: Noelle Elliott
By: Cole Pollyea
Family Book Review
30 10 Sings You’re Winning At Motherhood
Family Fun
9 Mini Peanut Butter Cups
Family Movie Review
10
By: Meagan Church
4 7 Things We Learned Making This Issue
By: Katie & Theresa Slott
By: Meagan Church
24 Dear Mom, How Efficient Is Your Love
Live Your Best
Family Recipe
22 The Diary Of A Modern Mom
Mommy and Daddy
contents
By: Jill Lebbin
Family Fiction
14 Tummy Troubles
By: Jamie Lober
16 The Common Cold By: Jamie Lober
Family Pregnancy
18 How To Dress That Fabulous Pregnant Body
18
By: Meagan Church
20 Including Your Husband Into The Baby Shower By: Lara West
26
FAMILY contributors
Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.
Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publictaions. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.
Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisan Occasion.com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for five years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.
Jackie Folkert is a mother of three and lives in South Bend. She is a freelance writer and an English teacher.
FAMILY craft
Christmas Art Made Simple By: Jill Lebbin
Materials: • • • • •
Canvas Vinyl Stencil White Paint Paint Of Your Choice A Foam Roller
Directions:
Step 1: Gather Supplies! Step 2: Squirt white paint onto the canvas and use the roller to completely cover it and allow 20 minutes to dry. This step helps to seal the vinyl stencil to the canvas. This step helps make a nice crisp line. If you skip this step you won’t have nice crisp lines like the two deer to the left and right of the green background deer above. It’s not terrible, but it’s not a crisp line. I learned this step from experience! Don’t skip it!! Step 3: After the white paint has dried squirt on the color of your choice, roll it and allow to dry for 20 minutes. Step 4: After the paint has dried peel off the vinyl stencil and enjoy your beautiful art! Photos Provided By: Jill Lebbin THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
7
1
Goshen Art House: Family Holiday Entertainment, Visit
Website (www.gah. mobi) For Showtimes, Goshen Art House
Morris Inn Holiday Market, 6:00 P.M.,
10
5
Santa & Christmas Train Ride Event,
Morris Inn-University of 11:30 A.M., Hesston Steam Museum-La Porte Notre Dame
4
A Christmas Carol, 3:00 P.M.,
Day, HealthLinc Mishawaka Clinic
The Lerner-Elkhart
12
Southold Dance Theater: The Nutcracker Ballet,
7
Gingerbread Village Competition, 6:30 P.M.,
Pearl Gridiron Plaza at College Football Harbor Day Hall of Fame South Bend
19
13
HealthLinc Puts On “Operation Santa,” All
10:30 A.M., Morris Performing Arts Center South Bend
25
Ravers Unite: The Force Awakenz, 9:00 P.M., The Kitchen Skate ParkSouth Bend
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
16
28
23
Season of Light,
6:30 P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/ PlanetariumMishawaka
31
HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE!
Make It Take It Craft, All Day, Osolo
Holiday Mini Dance Camp For Kids, 8:30
Branch-Elkhart Public Library
A.M., O’Brien Recreation Center-South Bend
Scrooge With A South Bend Spin, 7:30 P.M., South Bend Civic Theatre
2 3
6
8 9
11
14 15
17 18
20 21 22
24
25 27
29 30
Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th
December 1st – 24th
Santa at UP Mall
Santa Claus Visits Michiana Take the kids to visit Santa this year at these great Michiana locations!
All Day – University Park Mall-Mishawaka December 4th:
Where’s Santa? Holiday Hunt 6:00 P.M. – Wellfield Botanic Gardens
Tree Lighting Ceremony & Santa’s Arrival
5:30 P.M. – Gridiron Plaza at College Football Hall of Fame
Cookies with Mrs. Claus
7:00 P.M.– Howard Park Ice Rink December 5th:
Breakfast with Santa
8:00 A.M. – Fiddler’s Hearth
Matthys Farm Hosts Food, Fun & Photos With Santa 11:00 A.M. – Matthys Farm Market
Meet The Grinch & Rudolph
All Day – South Bend Chocolate Café
Reindog Holiday Parade
4:00 P.M. – Downtown St. Joseph, MI December 5th – 24th
Santa’s House & Workshop
All Day – Gridiron Plaza at College Football Hall of Fame
Yummy Christmas Treats
December 7th & 14th:
Milk & Cookies With Santa 7:00 P.M. – Concord Mall-Elkhart December 12th
Breakfast with Santa
9:00 A.M. – Morris Inn-University of Notre Dame Peppermint Oreo Milkshake
Santa Hat Oreo Cookie Balls
White Chocolate Popcorn
(www.belleofthekitchen.com)
(www.endlesslyinspired.com)
(www.myrecipemagic.com)
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
BONUS: Have your kids write Santa a letter and drop it off at the Goshen Public Library. They will mail your child’s letters to Santa through December 11th and Santa, along with his helpers, will make sure they receive a letter in return! (All dates, times and locations may change. We recommend you calling before you visit Santa!)
FAMILY recipe
mini Peanut Butter
Time: 40 minutes prep Makes: 24 servings
Cups
By: Katie & Theresa Slott
Ingredients: •
1 lb. chocolate (semi-sweet, dark, bittersweet, or milk), melted
•
1 c. creamy peanut butter (not natural)
•
1/4 - 1/2 c. confectioner's sugar
•
1/2 t. vanilla
•
1/4 t. kosher salt
Tips: •
For a mini PB&J cup, spoon 1 t. of your favorite jam into the chocolate shell before adding 1 t. of the peanut butter mixture. (Fair warning: PB&J cups are messy eating!)
•
For a festive seasonal touch, add some decorations to the top immediately after adding the final chocolate layer. Jimmies, nonpareils and colored sanding sugar would all be fun additions.
Steps: 1. Place the chocolate in a small microwaveable bowl. Microwave in 15-second increments, stirring after each. Once the chocolate begins to melt, stir well with a spatula until smooth, heating for 5-10 seconds as necessary to finish melting. 2. Place 24 mini muffin paper liners in the wells of a mini muffin pan. Using a measuring spoon, scoop two teaspoons of melted chocolate into each liner, and then use the back of the spoon to carefully spread the chocolate over the entire inside surface of the liner. Place the muffin tin in the freezer for ten minutes to set. 3. Meanwhile, combine the peanut butter, confectioner's sugar, vanilla and kosher salt. Stir until evenly mixed. (The mixture should be fairly stiff.) Remove the muffin pan from the freezer and scoop two teaspoons of the peanut butter mixture into each chocolate shell, smoothing down the filling as best you can. Return to freezer for 10 minutes. 4. After 10 minutes, remove the muffin pan from the freezer and carefully spoon one teaspoon of the remaining melted chocolate over top of the peanut butter filling, spreading it all the way to the sides of the liner. Return to the freezer for 10 minutes to set. 5. When set, remove the peanut butter cups from the muffin pan and store in an airtight container in the refrigerator, with waxed paper between layers. Remove the peanut butter cups from the fridge about 20 minutes before serving to soften the chocolate shell.
Katie and Theresa Slott are sisters-in-laws who write the food blog, Cooking for the Fam, where they share lots of tips, family-favorite recipes and meal plans. For more recipes like this one, or to see step-by-step photos of this recipe, check out their website, www.cookingforthefam.com.
FAMILY fun
Photo: Dare2Dream Photography
The Power
Of Elf On The Shelf By: Jackie Folkert
Santa Claus is not only a jolly old elf, but he is also a busy one. Keeping his Naughty or Nice List current is a consuming task, so his employment of millions of scout elves should come as no surprise. Santa’s original scout elves in the 1960’s chose their observation points in their children’s homes as strategically, sitting silently for weeks so they could deliver to Santa what he needed most: behavior reports on the boys and girls across the world. In the beginning, families thought their elves on the shelves were merely ornamental visitors that came and went like the carolers on their doorsteps. But then the elves added some spice to their visits—enough to make the Gingerbread Man feel competitive. Elves began playing tricks on the children and dressing up in costumes. They even collaborated with Creatively Classic Activities and Books in 2005 to publicize their magical mission. With Santa’s permission, they published “The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition.” Since its publication, eight million families have adopted scout elves. The mother-daughter trio of Carol Aebersold, Chanda Bell and Christa Pitts helped the elves find more families by writing their story down and making it available for purchase in elf Adoption Centers worldwide. Bell and Pitts were eager to share with children the joy of seeking their scout elves each morning. As children, the twins didn’t dare touch their own elf named Fisbee less he lose his magical ability to fly back to the North Pole each night to discuss with Santa their nice behavior. Fisbee returned each morning to observe the girls from a different place in the house.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
When considering the success of the book, it’s ironic that Aebersold and her daughters could not find a publisher. The companies rejected “The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition” saying it was destined for the junk bin. The women formed their own publishing company so that the elves could share their story. Each year more families claim their elves at Adoption Centers, which they can locate by calling Creatively Classic Activities and Books and asking Santa. The centers also offer adoption of the elves’ friends and pet reindeer. Families pick out elf apparel from the Claus Coutoure collection. Barnes and Noble carries an exclusive denim jacket. Jim Emmons, Community Business Development Manager at Barnes and Noble Booksellers in Mishawaka, said that the tuxedo and the silver evening gown are stand-outs. His store reserves an entire wall in the children’s section to be the elf adoption center. “You think [the elves’ popularity] is going to die down. It just keeps growing and growing and growing,” he said. The magic flows during the annual reading and adoption party at Barnes and Noble. Emmons said parents are eager—even as early as September-- to adopt elves for their children. “It’s never too early because Santa is always watching,” he said. While some families adopt their elves at adoption centers, other families receive their elves as gifts. Erin Ytterberg of Granger received her family’s elf from her grandmother. She gave Ytterberg’s kids the elf during the last Thanksgiving they spent with her. The tradition Ytterberg’s grandmother began is now done in honor of her. “On December 1st, Fred—our elf named after my uncle’s dog--brings the kids powdered (snow-covered) donuts and Christmas pajamas. He sets the breakfast table with our Christmas dishes,” Ytterberg said.
Photo Courtesy: Amazon.com
“Parents are eager—
Meghan VanBuren of Edwardsburg, Michigan, said that their scout elf named Chippy doesn’t dress up, but he gets into mischief. “A couple of the kids’ favorite days were the ones where he made mini pancakes, and the time he drew a self-portrait on our easel,” she said. Her kids searched for two days to find Chippy hiding inside their pantry. “There is usually some friendly competition in the morning between our kids to see who will find Chippy first,” she said.
even as early as September-- to adopt elves for their children. It’s never
Lori Bauer of Osceola, Indiana, said her daughter Brooklyn begins watching for their elf named Elvis in October. During his Halloween visit he dresses up in Halloween costumes before flying back to the North Pole on November 1st to finish helping Santa before he returns in December. They found Elvis dressed in a ghost costume hanging from a spider web made of yarn in their kitchen.
too early because Santa is always watching.”
For many parents, adopting an elf for their children is continuing an old tradition from their childhoods. Connye Glassen, store manager of Lee’s Hallmark in Chesterton, Indiana, said customers remark that they also had elves at their homes during the 1970s. “Year after year they ask for it, even in September,” she said.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
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FAMILY kids
Giving Experiences
Rather than Gifts
When I was five years old, my Dad took me to the campus of Notre Dame to take a walk. I vividly remember holding his hand and looking at our shadows. I remember jumping on his shadow and he would jump up, acting like I had hurt him. It is a little memory that I have never forgotten. It was just after Halloween that the toy catalogues began filling our mailbox. All the major toy chains want to get your child's attention first. We even get a catalogue for a doll company that we none of my sons have any interest in yet; they will eagerly flip through the pages. By the time Thanksgiving arrives, the catalogue's pages are well worn and are marked with circles and scribbles. What my son’s feel they must have and what they don't want. It has become a bit of tradition for each of my four boys to select which toys they want for Christmas. Toys they feel they can't live without, and toys that will be forgotten by the time summer arrives, if we even last that long. Of course, you have the toys that Santa brings, but in addition to that you have the gifts that you exchange with each other. For me, it became overwhelming. Making sure that each child received an equal gift, and something that they liked, not to mention the expense. Especially if you don't plan ahead.
And all of the planning, wrapping is over within a quick 30 minutes on Christmas morning. As a child, and especially as an adult, I feel let down when a holiday passes. Everything joyful about the season abruptly stops. Coffee cups go back to their original white color. The radio stations stop playing holiday music. The house suddenly feels empty without the decorations. Recently my husband and I were discussing the budget for gifts this year and as our boys grow, it seems like the cost of the items they want for Christmas does as well. We made a decision that this year we were going to change things up a bit. We decided that we were not going to buy the boys’ presents. Now, Santa will bring each of them his typical three gifts, and fill the stockings, but as a family, we decided not to exchange gifts. Instead, we are going to go on a family trip. When you think back to your childhood, you may remember a gift or two that was given to you, but you probably remember experiences more vividly. The time you grandparent took you to get a hot fudge sundae or the first time you went on a bike ride outside of your neighborhood. Most childhood psychology studies suggest that most lasting memories begin after the child has reached their third birthday. However, in some rare cases individuals have been able to recall memories from before that. Most people would agree that the most vivid memories were occasions that left an impact. The experience didn’t have to cost a lot to be memorial. 12
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
By: Noelle Elliott
“As a family, we decided not to exchange gifts. Instead, we are going to go on a family trip.”
The following are suggestions that will help you give your children memories that will last far longer than a toy or device ever could: Take a Family Vacation If it is in your budget, take a vacation. There are several fun and family-friendly water parks that are just a short road trip away. Spend the night in a hotel and order room service. Let your children jump on the bed. It will be a vacation they won’t forget. Try Something New One of the best ways to bond with another person is to try something together that neither of you has experienced before. Maybe this is dance lessons, or trying a new sport. Try a new type of cuisine. In the classic movie, The Christmas Story, Ralphie’s family spends Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant. Skip Work (and School) Yes, school is important, work is important. If you can find a Friday in all of your schedules, talk to your children's teachers and take a vacation day. Stay at home and have a pajama movie day or game night. Don't tell your children until the night before and I promise it will be something they will never forget. Give to Others Contact your church or a local food bank and donate your time. Or spend an afternoon collecting books, clothing and toys around your house to donate. The act of working as a family for someone else is very rewarding and a very good reminder that helping others can be far more rewarding than helping yourself.
“Most people would agree that the most vivid memories were occasions that left an impact.”
“In the classic movie, The Christmas Story, Ralphie’s family spends Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant.”
MAKE A DIFFERENCE MAKE A LIVING
Recently, my father was in an accident and was paralyzed. I can't tell you how often I have thought of our walk through Notre Dame together. I treasure that experience more than ever now, and I am so grateful that we had that moment together. The most important aspect of the holiday season is to spend time with the people you love. Gifts are nice gestures, but the true heart of the season can be found when spending time with the people that mean the most to you. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
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FAMILY kids
Tummy Troubles By: Jamie Lober
At some point in time every child will experience abdominal pain. “It is usually caused by viruses and bacteria but other causes would include parasites, indigestion and acid reflux,” said Dr. Rushabh Shah, pediatrician at Marshall County Pediatric Physicians. The list is endless as constipation, menstrual cramps, irritable bowel syndrome, food allergies, food poisoning, endometriosis, a urinary tract infection or appendicitis could be to blame. While there can be a lot of discomfort, with proper care your child should be fine. “Most tummy troubles are self-limiting,” said Shah. There are certainly measures you can take to try to prevent a stomachache but usually it is unavoidable. “Practice hand hygiene and frequent hand washing when sick; and wash your hands after every diaper change for younger children who are sick,” said Shah. There are simple actions you can take to help alleviate the stomachache. Staying hydrated is essential. “Make sure your child drinks enough fluids to keep his urine clear or pale yellow and smaller frequent feeds are usually better,” said Shah. Stay away from dairy products as sometimes diarrhea or vomiting may be associated. “If your child does not have an appetite do not force him to eat, however your child must continue to drink fluids,” said Shah. If fever is present, keep it under control. “Acetaminophen or Motrin may be used as needed for fever but do not use aspirin in children and do not use antidiarrheal medication or other over-the-counter medications without asking a doctor,” said Shah. There are some alternative remedies that may offer some relief. “Probiotics or yogurt with active cultures may be tried,” said Shah. Constipation is a common culprit and because bowel movement is painful your child may try to hold it in. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended giving small amounts of water or prune juice or fruits like prunes or pears to a constipated infant. For older kids, high fiber foods are suggested like plums, raisins and whole grain cereals and increasing daily water intake is also a great idea. Never give your child a laxative or stool-loosening or softening medication without talking to your doctor first. Since every child has his own toileting habits, try to become familiar with your child’s normal bowel patterns and size and consistency of his stools. If he does not have normal bowel habits every few days or does not feel good when passing stools, it is time to make a plan. Assisting your child in setting up a regular toilet routine and helping him become more physically active while maintaining a balanced diet can be helpful. 14
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
For infants experiencing acid reflux, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended thickening formula with a small amount of baby cereal. The baby should be in an upright position for the first hour after feeding. In older kids with reflux, fatty and fried foods should be avoided and peppermint and caffeine can help you relax. Tomato-based products are said to have a similar effect. If you are able to identify a certain food causing reflux, eliminate it from your child’s diet for a week or two before reintroducing it and if symptoms recur, avoid the food for a longer period of time. Stress can trigger a stomachache if your child is anxious or worried. It is a good idea to encourage your child to talk about what is bothering or upsetting him and how it makes him feel. You may be able to offer healthy suggestions on how he can better cope. Breathing exercises are sometimes beneficial and kids can do them before a test. Reassure your child that most stress is temporary. For young girls, menstrual periods can be a source of anxiety and stomachache. Her first period will probably be mild but it is not uncommon for girls to
have irregular periods for the first year or two. Keeping track of periods on a calendar can make you feel like you have a little more control and if you write down how you are feeling it can give you more information to share with your doctor. The biggest sign of trouble is dehydration. “Recognize signs and symptoms of dehydration which include thirst, dry lips and mouth, sunken eyes, sunken soft spot on the head in infants, dark urine, decreased tear production, headache and/or dizziness while standing,” said Shah. Know when to be concerned. “Seek medical care if your child refuses fluid or symptoms of dehydration are not getting better in 24 to 48 hours,” said Shah. In most cases the vomiting and diarrhea stop without treatment. “A doctor may need to order tests if the vomiting and diarrhea are severe or do not improve after a few days which may include urine tests, blood tests, stool tests and cultures, x-rays and other imaging studies,” said Shah. Based on lab results an individual treatment plan will be created and your child will be feeling like himself again in no time.
Specializing in pediatrics, MOTC is committed to providing exceptional care, offering a full range of orthotic and prosthetic solutions. We strive to meet our clients’ needs in a way
2015
is winding down!
Be sure to call and schedule an appointment before the end of the year.
that enhances their independence, mobility and quality of life. Contact MOTC to see how our clinicians can play a role in helping you discover your full potential.
South Bend Office: 17530 Dugdale Dr. South Bend, IN | 574.233.3352 | midwestorthotics.com THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
15
FAMILY kids
The
Common
Cold
T
By: Jamie Lober
he American Academy of Pediatrics said that your child will probably have more colds, or upper respiratory infections, than any other illness. In the first two years, most kids have eight to 10 colds. In the school or childcare setting when your child is in close quarters with others he is more likely to pick something up, though the positive side is that most colds resolve on their own and do not lead to complications. When your child has a cold, you know it. “Common symptoms are stuffy nose, runny nose with clear to yellow-green drainage, sneezing, dry or wet cough, mild fever of under 100.4 and sometimes a sore throat, body ache, muscle pain, fatigue and loss of appetite can also occur,” said Dr. Rushabh Shah, pediatrician at Marshall County Pediatric Physicians.
Catching colds seem to be part of growing up. “Viruses cause the common cold and the most common is the rhinovirus,” said Shah. All a child has to do is cough on his hand and touch another child or surface that another child touches and the germ has spread. While you can do a lot to protect your family, colds are often inevitable. “Those viruses breach the nasal mucosa and enter the body and then our body’s immune system tries to fight against those viruses,” said Shah. Every child heals at his own rate. “It can be most contagious in the first two to four days after symptoms begin but it can last up to three weeks,” said Shah. Prevention comes down to good hygiene and proper etiquette. “Wash hands frequently especially after sneezing or blowing your nose; cover your nose and mouth when sneezing or coughing; and do not share drinks, towels or utensils,” said Shah.
Do not jump to conclude that you need medicine to get better because they only work for bacterial infections. “No antibiotics are needed for typical cold symptoms because most viral infections resolve with time and symptoms usually get better in seven to 10 days,” said Shah. The key is to get symptoms under control. “Acetaminophen or ibuprofen can be tried for sore throat, fever and muscle aches but aspirin should be avoided in children,” said Shah. Be sure to read the label and give your child the appropriate dose in the correct time interval for his age. For older kids, only take medications as directed and for anything over-the-counter read the labels because some cold remedies have multiple ingredients like a pain reliever and decongestant and you do not want to take too much.
Some extra love and attention and at home remedies can make a big difference. “Salt gargles and cough drops may be tried; cool mist humidifiers may help relieve congestion; and for younger kids, saline nose drops and bulb suction may be used to relieve congestion,” said Shah. If you use a humidifier, be sure to go out of your way to clean and dry it each day to avoid bacterial or mold contamination. Make sure your child rests up and drinks extra fluids as 16
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
he fights the common cold. Water, juice and clear broth are highly recommended and warm lemon water with honey is also said to help with congestion. While it may seem tempting to pick up over-the-counter cough and cold medicines, they should not be given to kids under age two because of the possible dangerous side effects. Coughing can help get rid of some of the mucus so you do not want to suppress it.
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There is nothing new and exciting as far as treatments. The gold standards for the common cold have been around for years. The Mayo Clinic has found pros and cons of zinc but finds that many studies are flawed. The debate is still going on but so far it has been found that there is evidence that zinc taken for five months to prevent colds reduced the incidence of colds in children though there is no way to truly know what is in the zinc product you take. The American Academy of Family Physicians reported that the prophylactic use of vitamin C does not reduce the incidence of colds but decreases illness duration by eight percent. They also reported that limited, poor quality studies of garlic show a decrease in the number of self-reported colds but no decrease in days to recovery.
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Unfortunately all you can do aside from symptomatic relief with colds is watch and wait. As long as your child shows signs of improvement, it is not necessary to see the pediatrician. The exception is if your child is under three, it is better to be on the safe side. In the little ones symptoms can be misleading and you want to rule out serious conditions like croup or pneumonia. “If you have a high grade fever, difficulty breathing or notice shortness of breath, go to the doctor or to go the emergency room,� said Shah.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
17
FAMILY pregnancy
How to Dress that
{Fabulous}
Pregnant Body By: Meagan Church
Pregnancy isn’t always a time when women feel their most beautiful. With growing curves, expanding bust line and cankles, well, it’s not always the time when a woman feels her most fabulous. But one woman is doing her best to change that for her local community. As both a doula and a therapist, Rashella D’Amico has spent a lot of time encouraging and comforting women, and hearing about their struggles during pregnancy. “I have heard everything from not being able to find affordable clothing options to feeling crummy and not wanting to look crummy. I would have conversations with people about buying something nice for themselves or doing something special and I realized there were no ‘special’ options.” Then Rashella had a thought. “We are lucky enough to have a few boutiques in our area that offer designer clothes and a more personal experience than a department store on the day-to-day, but nothing like that for maternity. After a while, I became infatuated with the idea of opening my own store.” That store is now FabForty Maternity, a boutique located at 621 E. LaSalle Ave. in South Bend, IN. It is stocked with designer maternity clothes from around the world, along with jewelry and skin care products (lotions, stretch mark creams, etc.). Clothes are available for purchase or rental.
{
{
“Accentuate the curves. Own them. Love them. After all, this is a time when showing off a belly is completely acceptable.”
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
As a mother of three, Rashella also personally understands the struggles of dressing an ever-changing pregnant body. Through her years of experience—both personally and with clients—she has learned a few things about looking fabulous for those forty weeks of pregnancy. Here are a few of her tips:
Don't hide it. Flaunt it. Rashella said, “There are many designers who now accent the bump with ruching and stretchy fabrics.” So, accentuate the curves. Own them. Love them. After all, this is a time when showing off a belly is completely acceptable.
Accentuate your neckline. She recommends wearing a v-neck or haltertop to draw the eyes upward.
Embrace the empire. The maternity section isn’t the only place to shop. Rashella said, “Take advantage of empire waist in non-maternity wear.”
Seek multi-use skirts. “Skirts with an elastic waist are a good staple because they can often double as a tube top as your belly grows,” she said.
Add accents. “Belts and scarves are still great accents for the belly,” Rashella said. “Don't be afraid to wear these above or belly the bump.”
Limit the buttons. If wearing a suit jacket, choose one that has one or no buttons. Let’s face it; buttons don’t stand a chance against a protruding pregnant belly.
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While pregnancy might not be the most comfortable time in a woman’s life, it can still be a fashionable time, even with bumps, curves, cankles and all.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
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FAMILY pregnancy
Including Your Husband Into The Baby Shower By: Lara West
O
nce you get married, the proof is in the pudding that your life has merged with someone else’s. You buy groceries that you may not have a taste for, you learn the rules of a new sport that never interested you before and you wash an extra load (or two) of laundry each week. The addition of a baby is a true blessing of the life merger, and the new dads are no longer “too manly” to say they are every bit as excited as the expecting mom, so we have to ponder the question: Why is a baby shower still viewed as a mom/women-only event?
Four years ago, when planning my own baby shower, we went non-traditional with a co-parent party. We did this because my husband had a list of people very close to him growing up that he wanted to share this glorious life-changing celebration with. Some were his neighbors growing up that hired him to mow their yard, but also chased him off their grass, at times. Some were the parents of his dearest friends with whom he spent a lot of time and who also helped rear him into the proud father he is learning to be. He definitely understood the shower is primarily for women guest to be giddy about the new arrival, but I’m actually not sure if he knew a baby shower is a traditional mother led party. However, I wasn’t going to crush his spirit with that minor detail as excitement beamed from his eyes when he settled in next to me on the couch and started his list of women who meant a lot to him growing up. We went with it, and I have Great Ways to Incorporate Men Guests at a Baby Shower: to admit that is was amazing meeting these women and laughing over crazy stories they recalled of my husband growing up. I was really excited to file these cute tidbits away to share •Have some outdoor games, like cornwith our daughter in the future, but one woman commented that it was, “a real blessing to see hole, set up. (Themed bean bags are [him] glowing with pride.” super easy and cheap to make.) When making the list of women important to me for this event, I realized there was a very close male friend growing up who I really wanted to be there. I hadn’t spent time with him since we graduated high school, but I knew he had the personality for the female dominated party. I shied away from encroaching on that subject since I thought we were already breaking proper etiquette with having my husband there for more than just greeting and thanking guests. However, I was at a baby shower recently where I looked around and wondered why my husband couldn’t be at this baby shower. The shower was for close friend of my husband’s family. My husband grew up with the mom-to-be, so I knew the invite really should have been for him. I have only met the mom-to-be a few brief times in passing, but still, because tradition would have the event held for the mother and women, I received invite to extend a friendly nod from the family to tell my husband, “You are not forgotten.” 20
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
•Serve up a good barbeque, if you’re doing a meal. (Let the severely tortured ones help grill.) •Play “Who done it?” (Everyone writes down something “naughty” they did as a child, and the guests of honor work together to guess who it was.) •Set up a “Diaper Changing Relay.” (Divide the group into teams and have them race to see which group can get each contestant to complete a full diaper change the fastest.)
My husband did arrive early to see his childhood friend and personally deliver the gift. The new father-to-be was there helping to organize the last of the decorations and game stations. When it was time for the shower to begin he was practically being pushed out the door while still listing off the little things left to be done. One of the ladies “helping” him out the door even joked that she wasn’t sure he wanted to leave. Again, I was asking myself if the etiquette of baby showers should shift with the desires of the parents-to-be. Traditions are strong and very deep rooted in our behaviors, but they are constantly changing to meet the changing views of society. Today, men are just as excited about the newest addition to their growing family, and they want to be a part of the celebrations that encompass that process. Is it really against the norm for them to be present, especially if they really want to be there?
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
21
FAMILY fiction
The Diary of a
Modern Mom By: Meagan Church
Dear Jo,
it wouldn’t be as big of a deal. Instead, she thinks it’s time to look around and explore and poop in the diaper Paul just put on her.
I know it is weird to address yourself in a letter, but not much about your life has been normal since Emerson came crying into the world three years ago and completely turned your life upside down. I know this isn’t the way you envisioned your grandmother’s typewriter being put to use after you so carefully restored it. Yes, you were supposed to be sitting at these keys, pounding out that Great American Novel. You know, the one you never fully settled on when it came to theme, plot, character or really anything other than a vague idea.
So, you’re at the breakfast table, Emerson’s eyes are filling with tears and you realize that for everyone’s sake, you must go to the store and refuel your caffeine needs. I know, I know, caffeine and breastfeeding, how can you? Who ever made that recommendation? Yeah, it makes total sense for a woman who is being woken by little people throughout the night and then is expected to care for them solo the rest of the day with Thomas the Train peeping in the background that she not be properly caffeinated under such conditions. That’s not a recipe for disaster or anything.
So, here you sit. In yoga pants and a pony tail. No, you didn’t workout today. Or this month. This is your uniform. Your life. I’ve been told that I may not remember these days at some point in the future. While I’m okay with that, I’ve been warned that I might be sad and nostalgic. So, I’m here to remind you a bit about your life with a husband, a toddler and a newborn.
You nurse Lyla, change her, coax Emerson into going potty and just get the baby into her car seat when you hear the noise. You know the one. The low rumble from below. Of course all Lyla does is smile, but you know that soon enough that toothless grin will turn to manic tears and screams until she gets a new diaper. So, you remove the blankets and the buckle. You unsnap the sleeper and change the diaper. She’s happy. She’s fine. Onward you go. Until you realize that Emerson has used those few minutes to construct a Thomas the Train layout of which he is now intent upon playing with. So, you coax again.
December 18, 4 A.B. (after-baby)
Here goes… All you wanted was to make it through the grocery store. You didn’t want to take Emerson and Lyla alone, but you didn’t have a choice: you had made the last cup of coffee that morning. You even reused the grounds from yesterday, but the results of that were less than ideal. Just ask Emerson when he spilled his juice at the table and your resolve to not yell at the kids for one day ended before breakfast was even eaten. But you know better than to make such promises when Lyla is still waking three times in the night to nurse. If she’d just eat and then go back to sleep,
“Come on, Emerson. Buddy, let’s go to the store!” He doesn’t seem as excited about the grocery store as he does about his train engines. “Emerson, they will be here when you get back. Let’s go to the store and see what we can find!” It’s amazing how much enthusiasm you can fake on zero caffeine.
“I can’t right now. The Troublesome Trucks made James crash and now….” “Yeah, yeah, that’s too bad, but come on. We need to go.” “But first I need to….” And then the lack of caffeine rears its head. “Emerson! Now! I just nursed Lyla. If we don’t leave now, the whole schedule will be off and she’ll want to feed when we’re at the store. Come. On.” Now Emerson is crying as you wrangle him into his puffy coat, which of course he hates because it feels “weird.” So descriptive. But you remind him—again—that it’s zero degrees outside and the coat is necessary. So, you make it to the store. You put Lyla’s car seat in the basket of the shopping cart and situate Emerson in the kid seat so that he can kick you repeatedly as you stroll through the store. Of course now you have no place for food since the carrier car seat takes up the entire basket. But, you really only came for one thing: coffee. Though it did look like there is a good sale on Ben & Jerry’s…. You do your best to finagle the cart through the bakery without Emerson noticing. But the cookies and muffins and cupcakes and cookies catch his eye. “Mom! Mom! Can we get some…?” Why the kid doesn’t turn his head in the opposite direction to notice all the produce is beyond you. Each aisle is likewise. Emerson sees. He wants. He begs. You instruct. Repeatedly. And of course all along the way, older women stop to coo at Lyla. She’s so precious. She’s adorable. And an older brother (for the few who actually take notice of him)! Ah, one of each! You must be so happy! At this point, happiness is a black elixir that has still managed to elude you. Finally you locate the Breakfast Blend. Of course an older woman happens to be standing right in front of it. You nod and smile, willing her to step aside as she fawns all over Lyla. You just hope she isn’t one of those compulsive touchers. Thankfully she grabs her Folgers and moves on, but you notice that Lyla has begun to turn her head from side to side. Soon enough that tongue starts licking and you know what’s to come: she’s hungry. All you have left is just one stop: The Phish Food. Surely you can make it. Surely you can claim your ice cream and make it through check out before her want turns into a full-on need.
As you come out of the freezer and turn back to the cart, you see Emerson has located said Goldfish and has torn into the bag. Not only that, but Lyla has begun to grunt with each head turn. And then you see the Gray-Haired Prophetess. “Oh, look at her. How precious! So sweet and so beautiful. And, look at you, young man. Are those a good snack?” Emerson stares at her, as if you’ve taught him that he shouldn’t speak to strangers. In reality you’ve never had to have that sort of conversation with your little introvert. “I guess he was just too hungry to wait,” you say, waiting for her judgment. “Well, who can blame him?” she says as she smiles at him. Lyla’s fuss gains momentum and you want to move forward, but the woman blocks your escape. “They are precious,” she says again. Then she looks you in the eyes. “These days go by quickly. A blink and they’re gone. Don’t forget them.” You chuckle and put your hands on the cart to move forward. “I won’t,” you say as you walk away. You look ahead to the checkouts and the lines extending from both open lanes. You have a choice: self-checkout or cashier who may force small talk. Really you don’t have a choice because Lyla is about to lose it. You know you don’t have your hooter hider, but you also know that not everyone in the store wants to hear a crying baby. So, you take her from her seat, cradle her in your arms and nurse away. No one seems to notice except for the college kid working the register who has probably only seen boobs used for pleasure and not purpose. But you really don’t care. After all, he sees more skin walking by the Victoria’s Secret store in the mall than what he sees from you right now. He looks in your direction only once, when he says hello and asks about coupons. The rest of the time is down to business. And that’s fine because after all, you still haven’t had your coffee and, like Emerson, you’ve never been one for small talk anyway. As Lyla spits up on your shoulder on the way to the car, you wonder why, if these days go by so quickly, they seem to drag on for so long.
As you reach into the freezer for your treat, you realize the irony that Emerson has begged for treats and has come up empty handed. Well, other than those Goldfish that he suckered you into. But really, those things are pretty good, so let’s call that a win-win.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
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FAMILY mommy & daddy
dear mom, How Efficient is Your Love By: Meagan Church
Dear Mom, I love efficiency. I love making the most of something, whether it’s time or tangible resources. When I’m finished, I like knowing that I used it to the best of my ability. For example, the other morning I made the kids breakfast and then fit in a workout, while they ate. The workout was short, but intense. It got the job done. And, after I put the kids on the bus, I felt a sense of accomplishment. It wasn’t even 8:00 a.m. yet, but I had made the kids a healthy breakfast and worked out. I had successfully conquered the morning. The sense of satisfaction gave me more energy to start my day than one of my other loves: coffee. Perhaps this love of efficiency is also why I prefer to carry as many bags of groceries into the house at one time as I possibly can. I may be struggling and waddling, willing my biceps to handle the additional weight, but if it means two trips instead of three, then I have succeeded. And I can be proud of that. In our always-on-the-go, always-committed society, efficiency can be a good thing. It allows us the opportunity to cram more into a day, to make the most of each 24 hours we are given, to make one less trip to the car for groceries. But, let’s face it; motherhood is anything but efficient. Middle of the night feedings. (Didn’t she just eat an hour ago?) Frequent diaper changes. (I just put the last one on her!) Multiple clothing changes each day. (Seriously! Fluids are coming out both ends!) It’s exhausting and taxing. The early days are especially hard as newborns consume all of their mother’s time and energy…and then expect even more. The needs may change as the kids grow, but one thing doesn’t: a mother’s love needs to be inefficient. Love needs inefficiency. Love thrives outside of confines. It needs space, time and adventure. It needs room to grow. It cannot flourish within the confines of a schedule or a plan. It is not well organized, nor linear. It is middle-of-the-night feedings, repetitive disciplining, making dinner (again), folding laundry, taxi-ing to school and practice and piano lessons. It is sharing meals and stories and jokes. It is lazy Sunday afternoons and action-packed Saturdays. It is wasting time and spending time and finding time. So, the question is: how efficient is your love? All the people who we need to love well—the little people and the not-so-little ones—need our inefficiency. They need us to be late for an appointment, while we comfort their hurt. They need us to pick up the phone, even if we are tired and distracted and just want to pour a glass of wine at the end of the day. They need us to turn off the social media and look them in the eyes. Love isn’t meant to be efficient. It’s meant to be an effort, a choice, a decision to allow ourselves and our own agendas to be interrupted, even in the middle of the night, even on repeat. 24
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
FAMILY movie review
Holiday Family Movie Trivia By: Cole Pollyea
Happy Holidays!
Some of you avid moviegoers may remember last year’s holiday movie trivia which either (a) proved your depth of movie knowledge or (b) prompted you to see more. Before you is another handcrafted trivia challenge that might make you recall the frigid afternoons on which the kids had a snow day and the family gathered by the fireplace with a cup of cocoa and watched a classic. So without further ado, do you think you’ve got what it takes to conquer it (a) again or (b) for the first time? We’ll see!
1.) In It’s A Wonderful Life, how much of George’s personal money did he offer to the bank’s customers when they wished to withdraw their savings? a. $2,000 b. $2,500 c. $3,000 d. $3,500 e. $4,000 2.) In Scrooged, what (not-so) romantic gift did Frank buy his girlfriend years ago, which they saw during his visit with the Ghost of Christmas Past? a. a textbook b. socks c. he paid off her loan debt d. steak knives e. a subscription to the jelly of the month club 3.) In How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which famous director did The Grinch imitate while planning his vengeance in his cave with his dog Max? a. Guillermo Del Toro b. Robert Redford c. Ron Howard d. Ben Stiller e. Clint Eastwood
4.) In Christmas With The Kranks, what type of ham is Mrs. Krank frantically looking for? a. smoked ham b. butt-end ham c. whole ham d. hickory honey ham e. maple ham 5.) What does Tom Hank’s character from The Polar Express yell repeatedly from the smoky gas emissions of the train which he is conducting? a. “Get on board!” b. “Now boarding!” c. “All aboard!” d. “Let’s go to the North Pole!” e. “Polar Express!” 6.) At the Christmas dance in A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965), what instrument does Pig-Pen play? a. the bass b. the guitar c. the drums d. the piano e. the clarinet
7.) Which notorious toy from Jingle All the Way makes Arnold Schwarzenegger jump through unnecessary hoops to acquire? a. Aqua-Man b. Uni-Doll c. Turbo-Man d. Rapid-Fire e. Transformer 8.) To whom was the old and dusty present that Clark finds in the attic intended for in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation? a. Uncle Eddie b. His mother c. Rusty d. Audrey e. Aunt Edna
Answers: 1. a – 2. d – 3. c – 4. d – 5. c – 6. a – 7. c – 8. b
FAMILY mommy & daddy
Product Review:
Puppy Savings By: Lara West
It was last year when my family received the cutest dog in the world for Christmas. It wasn’t something we expected, and it wasn’t something we thought we would enjoy since we travel so much, but the stray dog my parents picked up and “gifted” to us has been an absolute blessing and challenge. (Exactly like a baby!) Since we’ve never been dog owners before, we had quite the adventure in discovering what we can save on and what we can’t. A puppy is always a cheerful gift, and if you get one this year it’s good to know where you can save and where you should spend.
Let’s start with the floor and then we’ll hit some other items. Food dishes can be cute or boring. The first week we used an old Tupperware set, and it worked fine, but looked bad and the bowls constantly slid across the floor as the dog gobbled up her food. We then bought a steel set with a holder for $23.00. This was about the average price for a steel double feeder. Recommendation: You can use any dish you want that has a large enough opening, a deep enough pan, and doesn’t leak. Save all you want, or invest in a more visually appealing set. 26
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Basically to start everything off, since we were buying everything needed for a dog, we bought the bottom line for all care items such as the collar, leash and harness from a local big box store. The $15 harness began to along the sliding top after only three days, but it continued to be strong enough to hold our black lab for two weeks. At that time, it had become such a “hairy” mess we were afraid it would snap off during a walk and she would get hit. We went a local pet store and bought a $34.99 walking harness that we had to replace after seven months, because our dog outgrew it. Recommendation: Save money and a second trip out by starting at an authentic pet store that offers quality name brand harnesses and invest in a bit more expensive one that is going to keep your dog safe, even if you might have to buy another one due to growth.
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
The less expensive collar showed no real obvious weakness like the harness. It is a nylon weave that we used solely to display her tags in the event she got out of the house or the fence at home. We still have the same inexpensive ($9) collar we bought last year. Recommendations: You can save some money if you are purchasing a harness and not planning on using the collar for more than displaying tags when at home. If you are going to be using the collar for the leash on walks then you should spend a little more on the name-brand and quality collar.
When buying the leash, we would have bought the cheapest one, but the store only had one brand available. They had a variation of sizes, so bought a larger one for $20. It only took a couple weeks for our hard pulling puppy to break something inside on the leashes case. This caused the retractable piece to make a knocking sound, and it soon started to “slip” when we had the length locked. After replacing the leash with a $43 name brand leash at the local pet specialty store, we had no problems with the inner mechanisms, and it is still keeping the cord firmly stopped when we lock the length in. Recommendation: If you are using a retractable leash (especially for an untrained dog) you should purchase a higher quality product, which is the more expensive product, in this case.
FAMILY book review
Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures By Amber Dusick Reviewed By: Brittany J. Young, Children’s Services Supervisor, Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library Photo courtesy: Amazon.com
K
ids really do say (and do) the darndest things. Often at the most inappropriate times it seems. It happens so much that what else can we do but laugh? Some of the best stories, memories and learning experiences come from moments that are initially embarrassing, frustrating and potentially disgusting. Amber Dusick's in Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures has created a book from the many "crappy" experiences of parenthood that make us cringe and then laugh. The pictures are actually hilarious stick figure drawings (a favorite art form of parents, youth librarians and children everywhere!). The author started blogging at Crappypictures.com, wishing she had pictures to illustrate her comical parenting adventures (or misadventures!). As any parent knows, parenthood is not abundant in free-time. While nursing her child (Crappy Boy or Crappy Baby. She says they aren’t crappy, just her stick figure versions are), she started to illustrate the stories, bringing her stories to life with the stick-figure creations. Be forewarned, there is some strong language in the book. It is used from real-life examples and appropriately and amusingly placed, unlike how you felt when your child first blurted out a curse word in public! Where did they learn that anyway? This book will make feel you are not alone in parenting mishaps and put a smile on your face even when you have reached your
limit for the day. The book’s chapters are divided into general themes of hilarity in the lives of young parents including but not limited to: not sleeping, eating, traveling, sickness, toys and play, language (is cool) and poop and diapers. Dusick includes a chapter entirely dedicated to “The Good Stuff ” or those amazing, adorable moments that make parenthood totally worth every “rude” comment and poop smear. The last chapter consists of the 50 Crappy Laws of Parenting, all entertainingly illustrated, for your amusement and stress relief. After you read this book, you may find yourself with the strong desire to create your own book about your "crappy" stick figure family for lasting memories of the (now) funny moments together and all the love you share! THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
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FAMILY mommy & daddy
In the Season of Reconnecting with Family...
Don’t Forget Your
Spouse
By: Amy Westbrook Pracht
The holiday season is typically a time spent reconnecting with family, enjoying holiday parties with friends and shopping for gifts for everyone. Calendars fill up fast. To-do lists dominate daily lives. Presents must be bought and cookies must be baked. The demands of a holiday season can be difficult to manage. And, the demands of a holiday season on a couple can be even harder, especially if one person is taking on the majority of the holiday stress. In the spirit of the holidays, there is one important thing many couples forget amidst the holidays‌ making time for each other. Reconnecting with your partner and finding small, but meaningful ways to enjoy each other is also a great way to make memories that can turn into new traditions.
Here are some easy and enjoyable ways to reconnect with your spouse in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season: After the tree is decorated, turn the Christmas tree lights and enjoy a favorite holiday movie. Whether it is National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, The Family Stone or an old-time holiday classic like The Bishop’s Wife. Or consider a holiday movie marathon and watch all three movies. Just don’t skip on the popcorn. After the company holiday party or a neighborhood Christmas social, instead of driving straight home after the party, grab a hot chocolate at Starbucks and take a detour through the city’s favorite Christmas lights neighborhood and enjoy the sights as a couple. Ice Skating! Leave the kids at home this time and head over to Compton Ice Arena together. It may sound silly, but hitting the ice with your partner (no pun intended) will only make the experience more laughable. Take advantage of the extended family visiting for the holidays and sneak out for a few hours. Often, when family comes to town, there is pressure to entertain and serve them. Give the grandparents, aunts and uncles their own special time to spend with their own grandchildren, nieces and nephews and enjoy a couple of hours with your spouse during this time. Surprise your partner. There is nothing like a holiday full of surprises. Don’t save all the surprises for the kids. Take the time to create one special surprise for your partner. It can be a special book that you think they might like, a surprise date night or gift they never would have expected. Host an old fashion cocktail party together. Plan the food together, shop together and create a signature cocktail. The key is to plan an event together as a team and ultimately enjoy the camaraderie of a good friends. Pick a Friday night and instead of a typical date night, indulge in class together. Try a cooking class, painting class or dance class together.
Adopt a family together. Take time together to shop for a disadvantaged family this holiday season. Often putting in the time and effort together and focusing on others is a great reminder of personal blessings. Take a day off together. With a busy holiday calendar, consider taking a personal day together to tackle the extra holiday chores together. Let’s face it, the holiday chores are not going away, but they are always more enjoyable with company. With family demands during the evenings, consider a lunchtime date to break up the day and catch up with one another. Lunchtime dates more affordable and they are the perfect way to try out new restaurants. After Christmas, take the decorations down together. It is often the one task nobody wants to do. However, taking down the tree, removing the lights and packing away the ornaments is a great way to talk, reconnect, evaluate and reflect on what you are both thankful for a wonderful holiday season.
The holiday season is the perfect time to reconnect with those you love, especially the one you love most.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2015 & JANUARY 2016
29
FAMILY mommy & daddy
10 Signs
You’re Winning at Motherhood
By: Meagan Church
Being a mom is tough work, especially when you add in all the expectations society places on us. As if growing, birthing and then keeping the little ones alive isn’t hard enough work, but then we are also supposed to be perfectly-coiffed, physicallyfit gourmet cooks with HGTV-worthy homes, and careers that are fulfilling and purposeful, but that don’t distract too much from raising exceptionally wellmannered children. Really? Maybe in Stepford, but this is the real world. So, let's set some realistic standards, not Pinterest-worthy ones. The following is a list of 10 signs that you are winning at motherhood. Since we’re being realistic here, as long as you can check off, well, one, we’ll call it all good. You wear something other than just pajamas on most days. Yes, even yoga pants are an accomplishment. Your kids have used the words "please" and "thank you" at some point in their lives... even if they have been prompted first. You know when your kids’ birthdays are. Perfectly-themed, budget-busting party not necessary and not particularly recommended. Your kids have a safe environment in which to play. Fancy toys and new technology not needed. Cardboard boxes will do just fine. Your kids have said, "I'm bored." They may not appreciate it, but it just means you are giving them the space to be creative and not constantly entertained. You shower most days of the week, but not all. Water conservation should be applauded. You know how to do a topknot for a quick up-do. Scratch that. You are capable of a ponytail. Or a hat. Most of your kids' clothes fit or at least offer appropriate coverage. Latest fashion trends may be preferred by the little people, but are not required, despite their demands. You know the names of your kids’ teachers. We’ll call that our own unofficial parent-teacher “organization.” Your holiday season is less about perfection (Elf on the Shelf? There’s too much Dust on the Shelf.) and more about your presence with those you love most.
BONUS:
Bonus points if you've had a date night with your spouse or a girls’ night out within the last month. And, double points if you have made time recently to read a book for pleasure (picture books, included) or to take a nap.
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