DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017• Moms Just Know
loving Winter Despite the Gray Days
The Importance of
Traditional
Play
Multivitamin
Madness:
Doing Double Time: 29 Ways to Get Your Workout On With Kids in Tow
How to Know if Your Child Needs Dietary Supplements
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Contributors
On the Cover: A Special Thank You To Mallory For Being The Perfect Winter Princess On This Month's Cover!
President & Publisher:
Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com
Managing Editor: Jessica Haviland
The FAMILY Magazines P.O. Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 269.228.8295 • FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com
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EVENT COORDINATOR Denise M. Longley
Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way!
denise@michianafamilymagazine.com
Medical Editor: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D.
Amy Reinert is Michiana's
Premier HS Senior, Teen and Fashion Photographer. She grew up working in her father's studio and then decided to start her own. Her style is clean, modern and with a flair for fashion. She shoots a variety of sessions in her new Granger studio as well as on location. www.amyjstudios.com amy_reinert@yahoo.com 574-903-6383.
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The FAMILY Magazines December 2016 & January 2017 Established in 2006. All rights reserved.
Distribution Manager: Chad Haviland
Volume 10: Number 10
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FamilyMagazine
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
3
FROM THE P U B LI S H E R
C
an you believe it’s December already? It’s true what they say that the older one gets, the faster time flies. But I am blaming it on the weather. The fall has been so mild that it just doesn’t feel like it could be this close to winter. And yet, Thanksgiving has come and gone and Christmas isn’t far away.
I always liked this time of year. The leaves are finally down and raked. I don’t mind the usual snow and cold weather at the beginning of winter. It’s refreshing, cleansing in a way as it gets rid of the pollen in the air and covers the barren landscape with a lovely white blanket. Of course, we haven’t seen that yet, but it will come; it always does. I have been seeing cars on the road with trees tied to the tops. Christmas carols have replaced political campaigns on the radio and the shopping madness has officially begun! Holiday light displays are popping up on houses everywhere. Of course, the decorations have been in stores since before Halloween, but that’s another story. The holidays have arrived! The other thing that is hard for me to believe is that it has been almost a year since I bought the magazines. This is the final issue of the year and it has certainly been a memorable one. The learning curve has been steep at times and I have learned some difficult lessons but we have had successes as well. The Glitz & Sass Holiday Fashion Show last month was a lot of fun and went very well. Many thanks are due to everyone who attended and helped out. I have a great team and we are looking forward to bigger and better things in 2017. In this issue of FAMILY we have some great articles. There is one about cooking with your kids and another about how to get your exercise in with kids in tow. We have a cover story about traditional play in this digital world. And, with all my talk about the weather, we have a story about loving winter in spite of the gray days. I hope you enjoy the magazine! I would like to take this opportunity to wish all our readers a very happy holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukah or Kwanza, I hope you have an enjoyable holiday with family and friends. Since this is a combined December/January issue, let me also wish you a happy and healthy New Year.
Things We
Love Right Now! (at FAMILY)
1. Baby’s First Christmas 2. Fresh Cut Christmas Trees 3. Holiday Baking & Christmas Cookies 4. Family Gatherings 5. Eggnog 6. Pine Scented Candles 7. Electric Blankets 8. New Year’s Resolutions 9. December Birthdays 10. Footed Pajamas (Not Just For Kids!) 11. First Snow Fall 12. Holiday Movies On TV 24/7 13. Coffee Creamer! 14. Reading A Book (Even If It’s Only For A Few Pages) By The Fireplace! Decem
ber 2016
Congratulations to our October Coloring Contest Winner! Be sure to check out this month's coloring contest on page 23! Ava - Age 11
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
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NO 50 51
4Keeps
By: Casey Kiel
Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com
FAMILY contributors
Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.
Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publications. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.
Reader Testimonials
Cole Pollyea is an aspiring film critic and a senior at Penn High School. Cole is also a loving older brother to three younger siblings.
Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisanOccasion. com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for nine years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.
We’d LOVE to hear from you! CONTACT US AT....jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com
“My favorite issue of the FAMILY Magazine is the December issue because it helps get me into the Christmas spirit!”
“My kids love the coloring contest in the FAMILY Magazine! It always gives them something to do while we are waiting in the doctor’s office!”
“I love the FAMILY Magazine! I always get extra copies when I can find them and give them to my family and friends.”
– Lindsey R.
– Halie W.
Kimmi V.
THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
5
the FAMILY magazine table
Of
10
contents
Family Movie Review
Live Your Best
27 Arrival
4 From The Publisher
By: Cole Pollyea
4 Things We Love Right Now
Family Kids
5 4Keeps Comic 5 Contributors & Testimonials 8 The FAMILY Month Calendar 25 Coloring Page
10 6 Great Reasons To Cook With Your Kids By: Sarah Lyons
12 The Importance Of Traditional Play In A Digital World
26 Crossword Puzzle
By: Sarah Lyons
Family Craft
7 Christmas Photo Ornament For Kids By: Jill Lebbin
Family Recipe
Family Health
14 Multivitamin Madness: How To Know If Your Child Needs Dietary Supplements By: Jill Morgenstern
9 Banana Crumb Muffins
Family Book Reviews
24 Shipwreck Island By S.A. Bodeen
16 Doing Double Time: 29 Ways To Get Your Workout On With Kids In Tow
Reviewed By: Brooklyn Guest
24 Unselfie By Michele Borba
28
Reviewed By: Lori Walsh
By: Laurie Zottmann
Family Pregnancy
18 Healthy Babies Start With Proper Pregnancy Planning By: Christa Melnyk Hines
Mommy and Daddy
22 Dear Mom, Claim The Wedge Booties This Christmas By: Meagan Church
22Â
28 Loving Winter Despite The Gray Days By: Noelle Elliott
Fiction
30 The Diary Of A Modern Mom: Banana Bread, Breastfeeding And Birth Stories By: Meagan Church
FAMILY craft
Christmas Photo Ornament
for Kids By: Jill Lebbin
A
couple years back, my son’s teacher asked me to help with a craft for Christmas. I remembered
a craft I did as a child that we hung on the tree every year. I used to LOVE it because it was something I made. Then when I got older, it was special to see my little face and how I had changed and grown up. I wanted my son and his classmates to have that same experience. Photo Provided By: Jill Lebbin
Materials:
Steps:
•
Photo Cut into a Circle the Size of the Wreath
1.
Paint your wreath.
•
Small Grapevine Wreath (Hobby Lobby)
2.
Allow to dry.
•
Paint
3.
•
Hot Glue
Add more glue and sprinkle glitter or add hot glue to jewels.
•
Ribbon- Tied in a Bow
4.
Hot glue bow on.
•
Glitter or Jewels (We made this a couple of years ago and the glitter has fallen off. I recommend jewels!)
5.
Place hot glue on the wreath and place photo on.
6.
Place ornament hanger on back.
Ornament Hanger
7.
Hang on tree and enjoy!!
•
For more projects visit me at EveryDayIsAnOccasion.com. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
7
DECEMBER & JANUARY
December 13th: Breakfast With Santa,
9:00 A.M., Battell Community Center-Mishawaka
15th: Santa’s House, 4:00 P.M., Downtown St. Joseph, MI
January 22nd: A Christmas Story, 2:00 P.M.,
The Round Barn Theatre at Amish Acres-Nappanee 25: Christmas Day!
Learn To Ice Skate With Irish Figure Skating, 5:30 P.M., Ice Box – South Bend
13th:
5:00 P.M., Merrifield Park
28th: PAW Patrol Live! – Race To The Rescue, 10:00 A.M., Morris Performing Arts CenterSouth Bend
21st: Winter Solstice
31st: New Year’s Eve
16th: Mishawaka Winterfest,
1st: Happy New Year!
16th: Martin Luther King Jr. Birthday 19th: Swan Lake, 7:30 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center – South Bend
21st: Rodger & Hammerstein’s Cindereall, 2:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center – South Bend 29th: Golden Dragon Acrobats, 7:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center – South Bend
Christmas Movie Match-Up Match the main character in each Christmas movie to their Christmas movie title! 1. The Santa Clause 2. Home Alone 3. A Christmas Story 4. The Polar Express 5. Elf
A. Scott Calvin B. Buddy C. Train Conductor D. Kevin McCallister E. Ralphie
Chocolate Caramel
fudge
Ingredients: -
3 Cups Milk Chocolate Chips
-
1 Can (14 Ounces) Sweetened Condensed Milk, Full-Fat
-
2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract
-
25 Caramels, Unwrapped
-
2 Tablespoons Heavy Cream
-
Sea Salt
Directions:
Answers: 1(A), 2(D), 3(E), 4(C), 5(B)
1. Line an 8x8 pan with parchment paper. 2. Combine chocolate chips and condensed milk and microwave for 30 seconds then stir for 30 seconds. Microwave in bursts of 15 seconds stirring for 30 seconds until melted. Stir in vanilla extract.
Christmas Trees
3. Pour into prepared pan. Spray the spatula with nonstick cooking spray and smooth the fudge. 4. Combine caramels and heavy cream into the bowl and microwave like you did with the chocolate. 5. Pour Caramel over the chocolate evenly. Black & White
Elf Tree
Snowman
(www.southernbluecelebrations. blogspot.com)
(www.kitchenfunwithmy3sons.com)
(www.guiademanualidades.com)
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
6. Top the fudge pieces with sea salt. Cover tightly and place in fridge to set overnight. Recipe found at www.therecipecritic.com.
FAMILY recipe
banana
Crumb Muffins Ingredients:
Directions:
-
1 ½ Cups Flour
-
1 Lightly Beaten Egg
-
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
-
1/3 Cup Melted Butter
-
1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
-
1/3 Cup Packed Brown Sugar
-
½ Teaspoon Salt
-
2 Tablespoons Flour
-
3 Mashed Bananas
-
-
¾ Cup White Sugar
1/8 Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon
-
1 Tablespoon Butter
1. Preheat oven to 375˚ and lightly grease muffin pan (or line with muffin papers). 2. In large bowl, mix together 1 ½ cups of flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt. In another bowl, beat together bananas, sugar, egg and melted butter. Stir the banana mixture into the flour mixture just until moistened. Spoon batter into muffin cups. 3. In a small bowl, mix together brown sugar, two tablespoons flour and cinnamon. Cut in one tablespoon butter until mixture resembles coarse cornmeal. Sprinkle topping over muffins. 4. Bake in preheated oven for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.
Tip: Aluminum foil can be used to keep food moist, cook it evenly and make clean-up easier!
Recipe found at www.allrecipes.com
FAMILY kids
By: Sarah Lyons
6 Great Reasons
to Cook with Your Kids
C
ooking with kids takes a little extra time and patience, but has many benefits. As more families rely on fast food for mealtime and childhood obesity rises, parents can make a lasting difference in their children’s overall health by cooking meals at home and getting the kids involved. Here are some of the great reasons to bring your kids into the kitchen while preparing food for your family:
Math Lessons Cooking is a practical math lesson for kids. For preschool age kids, they will practice counting as they add two eggs and three teaspoons of this or that. Elementary school kids learn about fractions in a real world setting. If the recipe needs to be doubled or halved, kids can use their multiplication and division skills to calculate the new amounts. Kids, of all ages, will learn to follow directions as they read the recipe carefully and help add ingredients. 10
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
Builds Self-Esteem Kids build their self-confidence as they learn something new and see the end result of all of their hard work. They will also get immediate positive feedback from their family as they taste the food they have made. Kids will begin to understand the effort involved in cooking and appreciate it more when a parent works hard on a delicious meal. Cooking builds selfesteem and teaches good work ethic.
Life skills Home cooked meals are less common in our society as people rely more on fast food in our busy world. Children that learn to cook at a young age will be more likely to prepare meals at home when out on their own. Cooking is one of the most practical life skills you can teach your children. It provides them with health benefits and cost savings, as well.
Science Lessons Cooking doesn’t just teach math, but science as well. What happens if you add too much baking soda? Not enough flour? Kids will learn how things work and the importance of following directions and using the correct measurements. They will learn attention to detail and what happens if a mistake is made.
“Cooking is one of the most practical life skills you can teach your children.”
One-On-One Time Kids crave one-on-one time with their parents and cooking provides a great opportunity for some together time. Kids that cook with their parents are more likely to open up and talk about their day and what is going on in their lives. Cooking doesn’t have to be a chore, make it fun and take advantage of the time to laugh and talk together as you work.
6 Great Reasons to Make Family Dinner a Priority
Health Benefits There are many health benefits to cooking at home. Meals are more likely to be well balanced, have better portion control, contain less salt and Trans fat, and just taste better. By cooking at home with your children you are providing them with these lifelong habits that improve overall health by training their palate to enjoy healthy foods.
• Kids are more open to trying new foods, even veggies! • Portion Control • Opens Communication • Improved Family Dynamics • Saves Money • Kids are more likely to have higher self-esteem, lower risk of depression and less likely to develop eating disorders.
Cooking meals at home with your kids shows them that you are making family time and healthy meals a priority. By teaching them this practical life skill, you are showing them you value their help and want to spend time together. THE
(www.thefamilydinnerproject.org)
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
11
FAMILY kids
The Importance of
Traditional Play in a Digital World By: Sarah Lyons
Play comes naturally to kids. They use it as a way to express their feelings and learn new things. In the age of electronics we live in, video games and television can take over a child’s free time. It is important to be intentional about creating opportunities where children can play freely, use their imaginations and have fun.
Traditional play can provide the following lasting benefits for children:
Social skills and leadership development Children learn valuable social skills that will help them be successful as they grow. By taking turns, sharing and interacting with others, they are learning how to appropriately respond to others. During play, they are able to practice both their verbal and nonverbal communication skills. They also learn to negotiate when things don’t go as planned. Experimenting with different roles in their family and community as they pretend to play house, school or store helps them gain insight into the world around them and interpret the feelings of others. (www.education.com)
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
“Helps you
Motor skills development Children develop their fine motor skills through play. Using crayons to color a picture helps develop fine motor skills. Other activities that help develop fine motor skills are playing with play-doh, practicing scissoring, stringing beads and using lacing cards. Gross motor skills are also developed during play time. Games like tag or hopscotch integrate the large muscle movement which will help children gain balance and spatial relationship to the world. Playing and climbing at the park helps kids learn to use their bodies and provides vital exercise for children. (www.handsonwegrow.com)
understand your child.”
Problem solving skills and emotional development Kids can work through their emotions by simplifying situations through play. This helps them express their feelings and regain control. “Play supports emotional development by providing a way to express and cope with feelings.” (www.education. com) They may act out something that scared them, like a car accident they saw while driving past. They may also play out something they are not allowed to do and then work through the consequences through play. “Play can be safe outlet to work through situations that cause them anxiety, such as starting school or visiting the doctor. Letting the child take on the role of the authority figure will help them process how events may unfold.” says Early Childhood Education Educator, Kara Thomas.
Why Parents Should Play with Their Kids Kids enjoy playing alone or with other children but nothing quite compares to playing with a parent. Although we may be busy with work or household tasks, taking time to play with our children has lasting benefits. • • • • • •
Makes the child feel special Helps you understand your child Provides quality time together Creates one on one time with the child Keeps you young and active It’s fun for everyone
Development of imagination Play builds a child’s imagination. You can help your child with imaginative play by role playing with them. Call them on the pretend phone, ask them to cook you lunch in the play kitchen or have them use the doctor kit to do a check up on you. Engage them in conversation while you act out these scenarios. Often, you will be surprised at their perceptions. By role playing, they learn to better understand their surroundings and build their imagination. Traditional play time allows kids to work through their emotions in a healthy way and develop important skills. It is vital to provide a child with adequate play time in their day, especially with all the distractions in today's digital world. The best part is, the kids will be having so much fun, they won’t realize they are learning. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY health
Multivitamin How to Know if Your Child Needs Dietary Supplements By: Jill Morgenstern
W
hen New York Times and Huffington Post contributor Bunmi Latidan cried out in frustration on her Facebook page after having spent 45 minutes shopping for multivitamins, the entire Internet seemed to suffer with her. Over 13,000 comments on her post gave advice and commiserated with her plight. Her post was shared over 77,000 times. Latidan had obviously touched a sore spot. Many people assured her that her child would be fine with or without supplements. Others claimed her children would gain better health for the effort she had put in. Between vitamins, multivitamins, fish oils and probiotics, how can parents know what supplements, if any, will improve a child’s health?
“There is very little concrete evidence where vitamins and other food supplements are concerned. ” Part of the reason parents are so baffled is that there is very little concrete evidence where vitamins and other food supplements are concerned. This leaves parents feeling armed with not much but their own common sense. However there are experts in the field who can be of help. Patty Martin Stewart is a registered dietician with a Master’s in Public Health. She feels that giving a child vitamins can improve children’s health overall, although her opinion is that they are not strictly necessary when good nutrition is otherwise present. 14
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
How can parents know what good nutrition means? It’s definitely not fast foods, although Stewart admits that fast foods have their place every now and then. “Of course if you have soccer practice and you have to eat at McDonald’s one night it’s one thing, but if you plan in advance you won’t have to do it as often. If you are eating mostly fast foods, you won’t be getting the nutrition from the food itself, but if fast food is rare, you don’t have to worry.” Stewart’s goal for parents is to try to give children nutrition from home cooked meals most of the time, relying less on fast foods. Her opinion is that “If children are getting home cooked meals about 80% of the time, they will get the nutrition they need.” In addition, she advises parents to try to make their kids’ lunch at home and stresses that breakfast before school is an important factor. In fact, Stewart feels that structure around mealtimes in general can help promote good nutrition. This means having regular meal times, typically three meals a day supplemented with healthy snacks at specific times of the day. The regular meal times can help a child’s body keep from overeating due to extreme hunger and keep blood sugar from dropping due to inconsistent meals. In addition, the planning and thought involved in keeping regular mealtimes can help in making healthier choices.
Even so, even children who are eating home cooked meals on a regular basis may benefit from taking a multivitamin. Because there is no exact science and the nutrients in one home cooked meal will vary from another, vitamins may act as a kind of insurance policy, providing back up in case elements are missing from a child’s diet. When it comes to additional supplements, Stewart feels the same advice pertains: try to get as much nutrition from food as possible, allowing supplements to enhance the diet. Although there is little definitive proof, fish oil supplements are thought to benefit children to augment the nutrition they’re eating at meals. Stewart says, “I believe it can help with their focus and brain development and could be helpful for ADD and ADHD. It goes back to the diet. If the child is eating fish and healthy fats like avocado, nuts and seeds, chia seeds, those kinds of fats will promote brain development.” The fact that there have been concerns raised about heavy metal levels in fish oil supplements is yet another reason to attempt to obtain these helpful fats from diet alone. Parents often wonder if they should be supplementing their children’s diets with probiotics, helpful bacteria that can be taken as a tablet or pill. Although there is little in the way of concrete evidence, probiotics have been credited with curing everything from digestive issues to skin conditions. Stewart does feel probiotics can be helpful to a child’s general health; although again she stresses that the source can be diet rather than supplements. “It’s good if you can get it from food. I do like Good Belly Juice, Greek yogurts and yogurt drinks.”
“It’s better if a child’s general nutrition can come from food rather than the vitamin.”
Parents who responded to Latidi’s Facebook post wondered if the vitamins they gave their children were being absorbed at all. Because urine can become quite yellow after taking a multivitamin, it’s possible that some of the vitamins are being released with the urine rather than absorbed into the body. This is yet another reason it’s better if a child’s general nutrition can come from food rather than the vitamin. Stewart recommends upping the odds by taking a chewable vitamin with a meal. The idea is that the vitamin can then interact with the food to aid absorption and not as much will be lost through the urine, although again there is no proof. Latidan complained in her Facebook post that she was "ready to spend upwards of $100 on children's vitamins." But Stewart says that rather than spending a lot of money, she looks for vitamins that are certified by the United States Pharmacopeia or USP. The USP is a nonprofit organization that sets federally recognized standards for medicines, food ingredients and dietary supplements. Vitamins with this type of certification are easily available at drug stores and even go on sale frequently. In conclusion, working theories about vitamins and supplements are that they can potentially help enhance a child’s nutrition. However, they should not be the child’s main source of nutrition. Although very little has been proven with certainty in regards to vitamins and supplements, it seems likely that they are worth the small investment.
Jill Lebbin
Independent Trunk Keeper TK ID# 1303 JillLebbin@matildajaneclothing.com
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY health
Doing Double Time: 29 Ways to Get Your Workout On With Kids in Tow By: Laurie Zottmann
I
used to feel trapped by parenting. My two kids were wrapped around my ankles 24/7, like a double-headed ball and chain. They put a serious cramp in my fitness routine. In the good old days, I used to jog. I would go out on my lunch hour or right after work, before I threw dinner in the microwave, as carefree as a vagabond. When I switched careers to parenting, things became complicated. There were no breaks, and the shifts were 20 years long. How was I supposed to maintain my mental and physical machinery with no scheduled outages for upkeep? I tried to just suck it up, but I couldn’t. The kids drove me crazy with their late-night wake-ups and constant demands to have food shoved into one end of them and wiped off the other. I hardly recognized the nuclear wasteland that had once been my body and brain. Something had to give. But that something needed to be magical; it needed to be affordable on my salary of $0 per annum, and require no more than the 0 minutes per week that I had available for metime.
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That ruled out joining a gym, getting a personal trainer and burning any calories. You know how they say that necessity is the mother of invention? There is a lesserknown corollary that states that a mother’s desperation can turn her world upside-down. In a good way, if she takes aim. I made up my mind to get moving during the day, or die trying. I started taking my oldest to preschool in the jogging stroller. I saved my shower until her baby sister and I were back home, and she went down for a nap. This small change paid off with a triple win: our hellish “get out the door” routine got simpler, my morning dread got smaller, and my whole week felt 80lbs lighter, thanks to those regular endorphin boosts. I know that when things are running at the speed of family, it feels like there is no room to breathe. I promise you, there are nooks and crannies in your life that can be transformed into healthy release. I’m sharing a list below to get your inventive juices flowing. I can’t wait for you to find your magical formula. Those little doses of oxygen and sweat will bring precious relief, and your whole world will feel better.
Parenting Jobs That Can Become Workouts: Travel Time - Walk, jog or bike to nearby errands. - Take a self-propelled trip to the library, bank, store, school or your kids’ extracurriculars. Playground Time - Schedule a walking playdate on pathways or at the zoo. - Play tag. - Play follow the leader all over the playground. - Run up a hill and roll or sled back down. - Pull kids (or your diaper/snack/toy arsenal) in a wagon. - Use monkey bars: swing or do chin-ups. - Use a stair or bench for step-ups or inclined push-ups.
Indoor Play - Give piggyback and pony rides. - Drag the kids across the floor on a blanket. - Have an animal walk race. Move like a bear, crab, frog, snake or spider. - Create an obstacle course with whatever you’ve got: skipping rope, hopity-ball, books (jump over), tables (crawl under) and the stairs. - Challenge your kids to balancing contests in yoga poses: tree, fierce, lunge, warrior, triangle or one-legged dog. - Set a timer and do lunges and animal walks up and down the hall until it rings. Kids’ Downtime - Jump on the treadmill or elliptical during the kids’ screen time. - Find a workout video on YouTube while the kids are napping. - Strengthen with weights or plyometrics as soon as the kids are in bed. - Do some quiet yoga or slip out for a walk before the family wakes up.
Digital Trainers:
Family Time - Have a family walk or bike ride after dinner every evening. - Have the whole family take a movement break for every 30 minutes of screen time. - Do homework, paperwork or chores to music, standing at the counter. Wiggle as needed and take a dance break with every fifth song.
Online Resources for When You’re House-Bound and Sweat-Deprived Yoga with Adriene Yogawithadriene.com Free yoga videos Search for this fitness angel by name on YouTube, or visit her site directly to access dozens of free yoga videos. Her classes are encouraging, embracing and just the right amount of exhausting. She specializes in creating classes and multi-day challenges that target particular body areas and stressful struggles. I always walk away from her videos feeling great.
Extra-Curricular Time - Enroll your kids in sports that offer concurrent classes for parents. - Go for a walk or run during the kids’ music lessons or homework time. Soothing the Baby - Wear your baby for a brisk walk. - Whenever the baby is in your arms, pull down your shoulders and draw in your abs. Hold as long as possible. - Do bent-over rows with the baby in her carseat. - Every time you pick her up or put her down, do three controlled squats.
Beachbody on Demand Beachbody.ca/on-demand-workout-videos.do (search “Beachbody on demand” to access the site for your region).
Paid membership to access streaming workout videos If you have some money budgeted for fitness, but can’t get out to a gym, you might like Beach Body on Demand. For $2.99 per week, you get access to a variety of Beachbody’s branded workouts, such as P90x, Insanity and more added each month. A friend of mine squeezes Beachbody workouts in between working three jobs; she loves the intensity and motivational surge she gets from these whipcracking video coaches.
YouTube.com Free video streaming I call YouTube my personal trainer, because it provides me with so much workout inspiration and fun. I have tried all kinds of video classes, from belly dancing and ballet to martial arts conditioning and yoga. One of the best features of this database is that there are a variety of workout durations; even if you only have eight minutes of precious quiet time, you can call up a clip that will get you moving.
Manufacture You-Time - Join a gym that offers babysitting (bonus points if it also has a sauna, hot tub or tanning bed). If all else fails, just shuffle around the house dragging those little ball-andchains for resistance. They may be exhausting, but they make decent ankle weights.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY pregnancy
By: Christa Melnyk Hines
Start with Proper
Pregnancy Planning
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healthy pregnancy begins long before conception. By planning ahead, you can lower the risk of complications and give your baby the best support from the very beginning.
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
Find a physician. First, choose a family care or OB/GYN who you're comfortable with and trust. Check with friends and family for referrals. Does your physician listen to your concerns and answer your questions? Is she in a convenient location? Does she have privileges at the hospital where you'd like to deliver? Schedule a pre-pregnancy check-up. During a preconception appointment, you and your physician will discuss your pregnancy timeline. Share any past pregnancy problems, prescription drugs you're on, your emotional and physical health and your lifestyle habits. "With your physician, consider doing fasting blood work to check glucose for diabetes, a lipid panel for cholesterol and triglycerides, a complete blood count to check for anemia and a TSH to check for thyroid abnormalities," advises Dr. Peter Caruso, OB/GYN. Power up. At least three months before you hope to get pregnant, begin taking prenatal vitamins (available over the counter) that contain at least 400 mcg folic acid, which can help prevent brain and spinal cord birth defects. As blood in the body nearly doubles toward the end of pregnancy, you'll want to ensure your vitamin also contains an ample supply of iron.
Pregnancy's Crystal Ball "Iron is the building block for hemoglobin which carries oxygen to the baby," says Susan Thrasher, APRN, antepartum nurse practitioner.
Your health during pregnancy can predict future health issues. Women who experience gestational diabetes are 50 percent more likely than the general population to develop Type II Diabetes II in the future. Women suffering from hypertensive disorders like pre-eclampsia are at greater risk of developing stroke and heart disease.
"Getting in shape ahead of pregnancy and keeping your blood pressure and blood sugars in check during pregnancy will influence your life down the road." ~ Susan Thrasher, antepartum nurse practitioner
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY pregnancy Get in shape. Achieve a healthy weight through diet and exercise and kick bad habits. "Your body ovulates more efficiently when you're at a healthy weight so if you're trying to become pregnant, it's a great time to focus on your well-being to ensure your body is best prepared to support a healthy pregnancy," says Dr. Reagan Wittek, OB/GYN. During pregnancy, overweight women risk high blood pressure, pre-eclampsia, pre-term labor and delivery, gestational diabetes, c-section and birth injury at delivery. "By the same token, being underweight can also pose dangers, resulting in a low birth weight baby and an increased risk for preterm birth," Thrasher says. *Smoking, drinking alcohol and substance abuse can seriously harm a developing baby especially in the first trimester. Talk to your doctor if you need help.
Quiz
How many pounds should an average-weight woman gain during pregnancy? A. 40-50 pounds B. 10-25 pounds C. 25-35 pounds D. 55-60 pounds Answer: C
Congratulations, you're pregnant! Continue your pre-pregnancy healthy choices. Prioritize your doctor appointments and follow his or her recommendations. Feeling green? For many women, nausea and vomiting often accompanies early pregnancy. Caruso recommends eating six small meals a day and taking a daily 50 mg vitamin B6 to relieve morning sickness. If you're not gaining weight and experiencing trouble keeping food and fluids down, alert your provider. Feed your baby right. Your body only requires a few hundred more calories a day to support your growing baby. Avoid foods with low-nutritional value. Instead consume high-quality calories found in fruits, vegetables and whole grains.
What foods should you avoid during pregnancy? A. Peanut butter B. Bacon C. Raw fish D. All of the above. Answer: C, but consuming cooked seafood in moderation is OK. (Foods handled and stored at proper temperatures are safe to eat.)
True or False: It's safe to get a flu vaccine during pregnancy. Answer: True. The influenza vaccine is safe through all trimesters of pregnancy, and provides important protection to both mom and baby, especially infants born in the winter months. Make sure anyone who comes into contact with your baby is vaccinated. Sources: Reagan Wittek, M.D.; Susan Thrasher, APRN
Manage stress and anxiety. A healthy support network, regular exercise and communicating with your physician can help you manage stressful, anxious emotions common in pregnancy. "Don't ever be afraid to talk to your doctor if you're worried about your anxiety," Wittek says. "No question is stupid and we're here to support both your physical and mental health before, during and after pregnancy." Listen to your body. Never an exact science, pregnancy can be unpredictable no matter how well you take care of yourself. First time mom-to-be Kim Kern carefully planned for her pregnancy. But at 24 weeks along, she says something didn't feel right. "I've never been pregnant before. And my doctor told me from the beginning that 'if you feel something is going on, call us,'" Kern says. "There's a good chance that her encouragement saved my baby." Diagnosed with cervical incompetence, which often results in miscarriage, Kern is on bed rest in her hospital's Antepartum Unit, a specialized unit which provides round-the-clock care to women experiencing high-risk pregnancies.
“Don't ever be afraid to talk to your doctor if you're worried.”
"It's looking like I'll be here until I meet the little guy," she says. Although her otherwise active life is on hold at the moment, Kern tries to remain optimistic. "You can do all of the planning. We wanted this pregnancy and now.... I'm trying to realize that it's just out of my control," Kern says. "But, I'm in the best place I can be."
OPEN HOUSE SUNDAY, JANUARY 29TH 2:00 – 4:00 P.M. Come and see why
Additional Resources American College of Obstetricians & Gynecologists (ACOG) "FAQ Good Health before Pregnancy: Preconception Care" www.acog.org/-/media/For-Patients/ faq056.pdf?dmc=1&ts=2015102 0T1749271800 Association of Women's Health, Neonatal and Obstetrical Nurses (AWHONN) Healthy Mom & Baby www.health4mom.org Mayo Clinic's Healthy Lifestyle: Getting Pregnant www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/ getting-pregnant/basics/fertility/hlv20049462
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY mommy & daddy
All Mom's Can Use A Bit Of Encouragement!
Claim the
WedgethisBooties Christmas By: Meagan Church
Dear Mom, So I made a mistake. Okay, more than just one, but I’m focusing on something specific right now. A catalog came in the mail the other day. At first I planned to throw it straight into the recycle bin, but then I paused. With Christmas approaching, I thought that perhaps I should let the kids take a look at the catalog, circle a few things that caught their eyes and then I’ll have an idea of what they want for Christmas. I’m sure you can figure out how this exercise went. They argued over who got to look first. Then they circled nearly everything. Case in point, my eight-year-old daughter wrote her initial next to ladies’ wedge booties. Of course she did. She paid no regard to size, height or function. They were cute. And given that she has more style in her pinkie than I do in my entire body, I shouldn’t have been surprised. (Though perhaps I should clarify that she meant them for herself and not for me—as she is always trying to ramp up her mother’s style efforts.) But it was the four-year-old that I failed to sufficiently prepare for the exercise. You see, she thought a circle and an initial next to the picture meant it was hers. It was a done deal. What she saw, she got. Right? So this led to a discussion of a “wish list” and that just because you ask for it does not mean you actually receive it. She preferred more of a “get list.” The energy in the room rose as they compiled their lists. And as I considered my own wishes, I found I approached the exercise much differently. 22
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
Yeah, that is nice, but I already have something similar. Sure, that’s cute, but I couldn’t really pull it off. Maybe I would want that, but I think there’s something I would like more. Which really lead me to ask: What do I really want? As kids, it’s so easy to answer this question. I still remember some of my biggest Christmas wish list items: Easy Bake Oven, telescope, Lite Brite, roller skates, Care Bears, Teddy Ruxpin… (Yes, I was a child of the 80s).
right?). Or maybe it’s a massage, 10 minutes to yourself, a bathroom break uninterrupted, the chance to read a book other than “Goodnight Moon.” Maybe you want to bake Christmas cookies or decorate the house or spend time with friends. This season isn’t about more. It’s not about more stuff or parties or cookies. It’s about love—the truest kind of love. It’s why we give gifts, spend time together and find ways to honor those closest to us. And that includes yourself.
Some of these I received, many of them I did not. But what each shows is where I was and what interested me at that point in my life.
So this holiday season, as you check off your kids’ wish lists, don't forget to show yourself some love, too. Maybe that means reducing the number of traditions and activities. Maybe it means dusting off the Easy Bake Oven and whipping up a different kind of Christmas treat. Or maybe it’s drawing a bath and locking the door for an hour.
Which brings me back to the question: what do you want? What do you really want? And I’m not just talking material wants. Maybe it is a diamond tennis bracelet (that’s still a thing,
Whatever it is, circle it. Claim it. Put your initial next to it…just like those women’s-sized wedge booties that my eight-year-old hopes to find under the tree on Christmas morning.
Gift cards and jump passes can only be redeemed at park where purchased. Holiday offer only available at participating parks. Terms and conditions apply, offer may vary. Promotion cannot be combined with other offers. May include taxes. FREE 30-minute Jump Pass is valid 12/26/2016-6/30/2016. Only 1 pair of SkySocks per $30 Gift Card purchase. Promotional offer only valid through December 31, 2016 while supplies last.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY kids book review
Shipwreck Island By S.A. Bodeen
Reviewed By: Brooklyn Guest, Edwardsburg Middle School
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his book is about a 12-year-old girl named Sarah. Her mom died many years ago leaving her with a very lonely single father. This was extremely rough for her. Her father, John, begins looking for a significant other through online websites, this is where he finds Sarah’s stepmother. She is a gold-digging flight attendant who goes by the name Yvonna Murillo. Sarah finds her to be beautiful but unfit to fill the place of her mother this makes her treat her and her kids in a mean manner. She has two boys the ages 12 and 10 that go by the names Marco and Nacho, they are just as upset about the situation as Sarah but to make things worse for the boys they have to leave their home, friends, school, and teams in Texas. The boys also had lost their father in a car accident .To make the new family bond, the newlyweds took the kids on their honeymoon, the new siblings dreaded this trip but they knew they had to go anyways. They went on a long trip from California to Fiji. In Fiji they took a yacht. What seems to be calming, relaxing, dream vacation turned into an unexpected disaster. There was a very tragic storm which caused the yacht to crash. The blended
FAMILY book review
family floated ashore on broken pieces of the boat to a vacant island. There were many obstacles and dangers making this island their new home and so much to learn and so much adjusting to do. Photo courtesy: Amazon.com I really enjoyed this book because it has partly based off what could be a real life scenario that many children / young teens struggle with, reading this book might remind them that they aren't the only ones facing this problem although this book is fiction. I also loved this book because there was a bit of a twist and adventure which also makes it more exciting. Readers who like thrill might enjoy reading this book, there are many unexpected twists and turns and a lot of different emotions!
Unselfie:
Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All About Me World By Michele Borba Reviewed By: Lori Walsh, Youth Services Associate Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library
E
very parent and grandparent wants to know what they can do to raise a well-rounded child. The answer to that is empathy according to Michele Borba, internationally renowned educational psychologist and an expert in parenting, bullying and character development. Empathy is defined as the ability to share and understand the feelings of another.
record. Producing thoughtful, content and fruitful people will require a major change in childrearing and teaching, one that is aligned with the latest science.
The catch is that empathy is widely undervalued by parents as well as the general public, so it’s low on most child-rearing agendas. Empathy is a quality that needs to be taught to children. They are not hardwired with it. Why do we want our children to be able to empathize? The ability to empathize affects our child’s ability to have authentic happiness, relationship satisfaction and the ability to bounce back from adversity. Empathy is also a positive predictor of children’s reading and math test scores and critical thinking skills. It prepares children for the global world. Empathy equals success. Empathy is core to everything that makes a society civilized. As important as it is to read, it’s also as important to learn to relate--emotional literacy.
Empathetic children use nine essential habits to help them steer the emotional minefields and ethical challenges they will inevitably face throughout life. All nine are teachable.
Today’s culture values “Me” more than “We.” While we may be producing a smart, self-assured generation of young people, today’s children are also the most self-centered, saddest and stressed on
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
Photo courtesy: Amazon.com
Part I of the book will show you how to help your child develop the first four crucial fundamentals of empathy. Part II is all about helping your child practice the habits of empathy. Part III provides ways to help your child live empathetically. Children need to be taught emotional vocabulary to discuss emotions and guidance for using it to become emotionally literate. Having an emotional vocabulary doesn’t assure that a child will share, care, or comfort. The right nurturance, modeling, reinforcement, experiences and cognitive development are needed for empathy to blossom fully.
it page and Color this he tured in t can be fea of 017 issue 2 y r a u r b Fe agazine! FAMILY M
NAME: _________________________________________ AGE: ______ ADDRESS: __________________________________________________ CITY: ___________________________ STATE: ______ ZIP: _________ DAY TIME PHONE: __________________________________________ PARENT’S NAME: ___________________________________________ E-MAIL: ____________________________________________________
Color this page and win! The coloring contest winners will be featured in our February 2017 issue of FAMILY Magazine! One winner will be selected from each of the three following age categories: 3-5, 6-9 and 10-12 years of age. For your chance to WIN, color your best picture and mail entries to: MICHIANA FAMILY PUBLISHING • P.O. Box 577 • Granger, IN 46530 • (269) 228-8295. Coloring contest is open to children 12 years and under, and entries must be mailed by January 13th, 2017. Winners will be featured in the February 2017 issue of FAMILY Magazine. Winners' artwork will be featured along with their first name and age. For additional coloring contest entries, this coloring page may be photocopied and printed off. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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B U J D G H H H J O N H E R T E L E O M D A G S F R O S T S J M S D N B K D Z N P C N R Y J I U J X P K E Q Z O G E A O S K S R Y B U G Q P L W I C T K E Q A K R N W X K X I M H D E S N O I T A R O C E D S A A J F W I W V H E F Q E C L T N X F R R P J P A M T A L N B Z S N E T T I M T Y R J A V R D S E E R T B C H F H S M A E O Y A Y U J W C S S L N E W I S L U M N S O U T T S Y P F L W I P C T O T N R E I N D E E R M T I K S E H E R D X S N K A A R I P S I V G P P P N N B P F E V E H C R B I F K Y Y Q I S Y R A I L C H J L D Z B F A L P O D A H P K C F X J M Y U S Z K Y S N I U R H A W H N S
Find the words below in the word search puzzle. Words can be forwards, backwards, diagonal, vertical or horizontal. CHRISTMAS COOKIES DECORATIONS ELVES FAMILY FROST 26
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HANUKKAH JESUS LIGHTS MITTENS NEW PINE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
PRESENTS REINDEER SANTA SCARF SNOWMAN TOYS
TREE WREATHS YEAR
FAMILY movie review
Arrival Reviewed By: Cole Pollyea
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n the month of December, equally important to re-watching our favorite holiday films and sampling ones we’re unfamiliar with is getting to the theater to see new releases. And that is because of the glorious Oscar season (early November to late December), when studios release the most critically touted films of the year. I am here to discuss one particularly interesting and thought-provoking film that is considered a “frontrunner” for the Best Picture Academy Award in 2017. That movie is Denis Villeneuve’s Arrival; and it is spectacular. Arrival follows Dr. Louise Banks (Amy Adams), who is teamed with Ian Donnelly (Jeremy Renner) and recruited by Colonel Weber (Forest Whitaker) to decode and interpret a foreign language used by aliens who have peacefully landed in 12 different locations across the globe. To tell more would be to spoil any of the fascinating twists and turns that the movie makes. That would be a grave mistake. Arrival is a masterful sci-fi film that demands a totally uncorrupted viewing. I must first note what entered my mind upon my viewing of Arrival; here is a movie that took a few ideas out of Steven Spielberg’s playbook. It undeniably resembles Close Encounters of the Third Kind with respect to plot, characters, and set design. And I couldn’t have enjoyed it any more. The great Martin Scorsese once said that directing is what one can “smuggle in” from other films. That is evidenced here by director Denis Villeneuve, who successfully
pays homage to Close Encounters while at the same time creating an original work all his own. Among Villeneuve’s other work includes 2013’s Prisoners. Like in that absorbing drama, in Arrival, Villeneuve creates a cerebral, chilling atmosphere and fills the screen with soft grey colors. The musical score is enigmatic and repetitive. All of the necessary components for the foundation of a disturbing, thoughtful sci-fi film are here. Fortunately, the movie takes advantage of them.
“one particularly interesting and thought-provoking film that is considered a “frontrunner” for the Best Picture Academy Award in 2017.” One of the ways in which Arrival excels is in its performances. Amy Adams has the most screen time and gives one of her more memorable performances as the reputable professor and linguist. She articulates the complex emotions of Adams' character through her a facial expressions and her sensitive delivery of lines. Jeremy Renner is solid, as always, as her supportive and caring colleague. His character has more everyman values than his usual roles do; and I believed him for every second. What’s more, Forest Whitaker as the order-following colonel is extremely effective and his THE
convincing performance here is yet another testament to his versatility as an actor. It almost goes without saying that most first-rate sci-fi films of the 21st century offer knockout visuals. Arrival is no exception. Beyond the incredible CGI, the movie offers a certain mystique to what we see. We never quite get a full view of the aliens because of an eerie white mist and, in many closeup scenes, there is only focus on certain portions, or characters, on screen. This manipulation of background and camera focus is used to great effect by the director to produce an additional layer of intrigue. My uncle and colleague wasn’t as enthusiastic about this film as I was. He complained that it was like a puzzle with a number of pieces missing. I obviously disagreed. But I did feel that the movie wasn’t long enough. Some of the most memorable sci-fi films of the recent past, like Interstellar, run at well over two-and-ahalf hours and Arrival is only 118 minutes long. This is not to say that a contemporary sci-fi film cannot be successful with a short running time. This is just to say that when Arrival’s credits rolled, I was settled back into my chair expecting at least 20 more minutes of elaboration. Arrival is PG-13, family-appropriate for the most part and certainly targets a more general audience than Interstellar (a more intricate and complex sci-fi film) did. Perhaps this shorter length that irked me will make viewing Arrival a more enjoyable experience for a family. FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY mommy & daddy
Despite the
Gray Days By: Noelle Elliott
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ust before Halloween, I start listening to Christmas music. I keep this a secret from my family and friends because I don't want to hear the criticism or jokes. My name is Noelle, after all, and although I wasn't born around Christmas, my name suits me. I love everything about it, and I start getting excited as soon as I feel a chill in the air. But, once Christmas has passed, I have to admit, the gray days start to get to me. The music that used to cheer me up only seems depressing since I know it's an entire year until the next Christmas. I grow tired of the cold weather, and I have a nagging urge to hide away under blankets on my couch. Also, I want to eat comfort food covered with cheese. I grew up in South Bend and travelled to the West Coast for college. It was sunny almost every single day, and seasons were virtually identical. As much as I loved this, I found myself longing for the snowy wonderland. I will admit, there have been times, when I'm walking to my office in snow boots in March, that I regret our decision to move back to the Midwest. But, now that we are settled, moving is not an option. Therefore I have come up with ideas to love the winter, even when you are tired of it.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
Find a First Outside Have you ever gone snowshoeing? Or cross-country skiing? Grab your camera and take your family on a new adventure. Getting outside, and taking photos will be a fun way to celebrate the winter months. It will also get your heart racing and a breath of fresh air.
Explore Art If you have never been to the Snite Museum of Art on the campus or Notre Dame, or the South Bend Regional Museum of Art, I strongly recommend it to beat the winter blahs. Looking at vibrant paintings is a great way to forget how grey it is outside. Find your favorite painting or sculpture and go home and try and recreate it with washable markers, watercolors or play-doh.
Summer Movie Night Turn up the heat a little and have a summer movie marathon. Make summer inspired cocktails and mocktails and make s’mores in the fireplace. Watch summer blockbusters like National Lampoon's Vacation or The Parent Trap.
Take a Dip Find an indoor pool and take your family swimming. The Kroc Center is a family favorite of ours, but there are several indoor pools around town.
Have a Summer Cook-In Make burgers, hot dogs and chips. Invite a few friends over and have a game night. Decorate with a summer inspired tablecloth. It may be frightful outside, but at least you can embrace the tastes and smells of summer.
Create a Summer Playlist As much as I love holiday music, there is something about summer hits that can take me right back to the lakefront. Music can transport you to the warmth, so just hit play, sit back and imagine the sun.
OPEN HOUSE!
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“A”
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• Art, Music and Physical Education Classes • Before and After School Care • Catechesis of the Good Shepherd • Athletic Programs & Extra Curriculars • We accept School Choice Scholarships!
We Offer Extended Day Preschool Before you know it, the gray days will pass. Hopefully you can create a summer oasis to help get you through.
Queen of Peace Catholic School is tailored to meet the needs of all students!
Four Star School
4508 Vistula Rd • Mishawaka, IN 46544 Contact us today to arrange a tour at 574-255-0392 or email jpatrick@queenofpeace.cc THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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FAMILY fiction
The Diary of a
Modern Mom: Banana Bread, Breastfeeding and Birth Stories By: Meagan Church
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & January 2017
Dear Jo, Today you baked Emily some banana bread. You needed to use the bananas anyway (after all, they were the sticker-less kind, so you knew Emerson wouldn’t be eating them). But, really you wanted to thank her in some way for allowing you to cry on her shoulder when Paul was away. The bread was still nice and warm when you knocked on her door. When she answered, her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and this time she was wearing glasses. You realized that knocking unannounced on the door of a mother with small children probably wasn’t the best idea. “I made you some bread,” you said, hoping your gesture would make up for your intrusion. “Really? Wow. You didn’t have to do that.” “Well, I meant to do it when you first moved in. But, I also wanted to say thanks for the other day.” She looked at you like she had no idea what you were talking about. “For letting me cry on your shoulder at the playground.”
“Oh, please. You don’t need to thank me for that.” Then she invited you in. The house was a mess. Well, the house was in order all except for the toys that nearly threatened to trip you at every step. But she didn’t apologize. She didn’t say, “excuse the mess.” She wasn’t embarrassed. She totally owned it. “I was just getting ready to feed the baby,” she said. You followed her into the living room. She grabbed the baby from under the floor gym and sat down with him in the recliner. She lifted her shirt and began to breastfeed. The thing is, you thought absolutely nothing about this. It was totally normal. It wasn’t until later that you realized how much your life has changed. How you freely walked into a stranger’s house after baking that stranger a loaf of bread and you sat on that stranger’s couch as she (sort of) exposed herself, while your oldest child ran into the other room to play with a strange kid. Somehow this scene seemed the complete opposite of anything your mother had ever taught you. But, you sat and talked and laughed. And, eventually the topic came around to the one it usually does when young moms are given a few minutes together. Emily started talking about her birth stories. As you listened, you felt that familiar feeling of jealousy. Here was this woman who knew what she wanted and she got it. The whole thing went according to plan. It was beautiful and even empowering. That is a word you never would’ve used to describe birth, at least not Emerson’s. She asked about yours. You hesitated. How could you tell her about it? You did your best to try not to remember it, the pain and the fear, and the forceful doctor who thought he knew better than your own body did. Sure, you had never
experienced birth before, but still you knew your body. You knew better than he did. But he was the doctor. He was supposed to be the expert.
“you made it through without
With fear you gave your consent for something you didn’t think was necessary, but you were too afraid to say otherwise. You remember how cold the operating room was, how scared you were of what was happening on the other side of the privacy curtain. You remember hearing Emerson’s cries, but not being able to touch him or hold him for a few hours. You don’t remember much more of that day as you slept off the drugs. But you remember the pain and the healing, the difficulties getting out of bed, and how exhausting it was to just hold him and attempt to breastfeed him. You remember being told to not lift anything heavier than the baby, and not being able to drive for weeks, of starting this new season of life where you were supposed to be the parent, the caretaker, but all you wanted was to curl up into a ball and cry, while your mother rubbed your back and told you everything would be okay.
crying on her shoulder again”
That wasn’t how it was all supposed to go. It wasn’t fair. You know that now. And you know now that it didn’t have to be that way, shouldn’t have been that way. But it was. And now it’s your story; it’s his story, too. You’re just glad it wasn’t Lyla’s story also. So you told Emily some of it. You told her more than you meant to, more than you usually do. You realized how you are still healing. Three years hasn’t been enough time, but you’ve come a long ways. After all, you made it through without crying on her shoulder again, which is a good thing because you really didn’t want to have to bake another loaf of thank-you bread.
The Diary of a Modern Mom is a serial fiction story written by Meagan Church. Check back each month for the next installment of one mom’s attempt to chronicle what she has been told are the days she shouldn’t forget…spit-up, tantrums, milestones and all. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | DECEMBER 2016 & JANUARY 2017
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PAINFUL LEGS?
Do you suffer from burning or itchy legs? Are your legs swollen after being on your feet all day? Is leg heaviness, pain or discomfort a frequent problem for you? If you said yes to any of these questions, you may have varicose veins. Call our office at 574.647.3990 for a consultation or visit us at BeaconVeins.com.
233 Florence Ave. | Granger, IN 46530