FAMILY Magazine September 2015 by FAMILY Magazines of Michiana

September 2015 • Moms Just Know • Free

Ways to STOP FIXING your Kid’s Problems

Should High School Start Later

Fall Family Fun! Helping Your Children Cope With Death

Cloth Diapers or Not? SERVING: GRANGER • MISHAWAKA • ELKHART • SOUTH BEND • GOSHEN • NILES EDWARDSBURG • MIDDLEBURY & SURROUNDING COMMUNITIES

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IN THE NEXT ISSUE:

THE CYBER KIDS EXPO!

Contributors PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER:

If you would like your business and/or service to be included in the next issue, call The FAMILY Magazines at 574.387.5420 to reserve your space. Space is limited.

Betsy Tavernier

Betsy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

MANAGING EDITOR: Jessica Haviland

Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

"It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons." By Johann Friedrich Von Schiller

AD COORDINATOR & INSIDE SALES MANAGER

Amanda Oiler Amanda@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

GRAPHIC DESIGN MANAGER: Zuzanna Zmud

Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

MEDICAL EDITOR: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D. DISTRIBUTION MANAGER: Leah Elick Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com The FAMILY Magazines P.O. Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 574.387.5420 â&#x20AC;˘ FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com The FAMILY Magazines September 2015 Established in 2006. All rights reserved. Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication. Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! Volume 9: Number 9

Find the Hidden Acorn!

ON THE COVER:

For your enjoyment and fun!

We love our awesome friends on our cover - a special father and son from Elkhart! Thank you Cedric & Cam!

Ann Reiff is one of Michianaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Premiere Real Life

Photographers. Her heart and soul define her style, as she is able to capture the moments we wish to always remember. Ann shoots all varieties of sessions at her studio in Southwest Michigan and also loves doing shoots on location. Contact her at: www.studio513east.com ann@studio513east.com 269-228-0373

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TheFamilyMagazineOfMichiana @FamilyMagazines FamilyMagazine TheFamilyMag www.MichianaMom.com Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Magazines LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FROM THE PUBLISHER

Things We

Love

(AT FAMILY)

THINGS

Right Now!

We Learned Making

The September Issue

1. Cool Nights 2. The ND Fight Song

PHOTOGRAPHY: AMY REINERT PHOTOGRAPHY MAKEUP: BETHZA SEMINARIO, BETHZA PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP STUDIO, ELKHART

1. It’s ok to let your kids learn from their mistakes. Visit page 12 and learn why it’s important to not fix their problems! 2. Elementary schools start later than high schools. Read more regarding the debate about high school start times on page 14.

3. Sunflowers 4. Youth Football Games 5. Good Coffee 6. Hammocks 7. Tailgate Food 8. A Long Walk 9. Hoodies

3. Not all sports have to be physical. Visit page 16 to learn more about academic sports. 4. The passing of a loved one is hard on the little ones. Turn to page 18 to read how you can help your children cope with death.

11. Loving our Pets 5. September 16th is National Step-Family day! Read more on how a bonus step-parent can be a positive role in a child’s life on page 34.

6. There are several different types of cloth diapers. Learn about the different types on page 24.

7. New great Michiana events have been added to the centerfold calendar. Turn to pages 20-21 and see what is happening near you! 4

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

10. Eating Outside

12. Reading

Check it Out!

Don’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASSY & Boom Mag azines!

4Keeps

By: Casey Kiel

Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com

FAMILY craft

By: Jill Lebbin

Color Magic CLIPBOARD FRAME Photo Provided By: Jill Lebbin

MATERIALS:

STEPS:

• Heidi Swapp Make Pretty Stuff Color Magic Clipboard Frame

1. Spray one color of Color Shine sparingly on frame and pat off with paper towel. Spray second color, spray third color and repeat.

• Heidi Swapp Make Pretty Stuff Clear Words • Heidi Swapp Hello Beautiful Puffy Stickers • Heidi Swapp Color ShineSweet Cherry, Coral, Blush • Heidi Swapp Make Pretty Stuff Die Cut Tags • Heidi Swapp Make Pretty Stuff Seam Binding

2. Allow to dry. 3. Cut 16 in. from the Heidi Swapp Make Pretty Stuff Seam Binding and Spray with Sweet Cherry Color Shine. Put inside a paper towel and pat. Allow to dry. 4. Once dry, tie seam binding in a bow. Pull the loops extra-long and tie again. 5. Hot glue seam binding bow onto frame.

• Heidi Swapp September Skies Stitched Banners

6. Place Heidi Swapp Make Pretty Stuff Die Cut Tags (your choice) onto clip.

• Hello Beautiful Paper Clips

7. Use adhesive to adhere picture to die cut tags.

(The above items can be purchased at www.etsy.com/shop/LetUsCelebrate)

• Hot Glue Gun

8. Embellish around picture using Heidi Swapp September Skies stitched banners, puffy heart stickers, Hello Beautiful Paper clips and clear words.

• Picture

9. Give as a gift!

• Adhesive

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

the FAMILY magazine table

contents

Live Your Best 4 7-Things We Learned Making This Issue

SPECIAL SECTION:

4 Things We Love Right Now

8 The FAMILY Month Calendar

Mommy and Daddy

20 Centerfold Calendar

38 Student Book Review: Chain Reaction By Simone Elkeles Reviewed By: Corinne A. Cogdell

Family Movie Review 36 Family Movie Night By: Cole Pollyea

Family Craft 5

Color Magic Clipboard Frame By: Jill Lebbin

Family Recipe 9 Individual Baked Apples By: Katie & Theresa Slott

Family Pregnancy

24 To Cloth Diaper….Or Not To Cloth Diaper By: Lara West

7 Contributors

38 Book Review: You Are Your Child’s First Teacher By Rahima Baldwin Dancy Reviewed By: Tina Emerick

fall family fun!

22 The Due Month By: Meagan Church

5 4Keeps Comic

Family Book Reviews

24 Family Fun 10 Spend Your Labor Day Crossing Off Your Bucket List By: Jackie Folkert

Family Kids 12 Ways To Stop Fixing Your Kid’s Problems By: Noelle Elliott 14 Should High School Start Later? By: Lara West 16 Spell Bowl: Not Your Typical “Sport” By: Jackie Folkert 18 Helping Your Children Cope With Death By: Emily Zander

28 Dear Mom, Stop Peeling The Bananas By: Meagan Church 30 Product Testing: Tire Cleaner By: Lara West 32 Putting Cancer On The Back Burner By: Meagan Church 34 A Step Mom’s Role In A Child’s Life By: Noelle Elliott

FAMILY contributors

Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.

Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publictaions. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.

Jackie Folkert is a mother of three and lives in South Bend. She is a freelance writer and an English teacher.

Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisan Occasion.com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for five years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.

READER TESTIMONIALS “The FAMILY Magazine always has great ideas for things to do with your kids. I have done so many that they have already suggested!” – Suzanne R.

“Every month I look forward to reading the newest issue of FAMILY Magazine. There is always at least one article that I can use to benefit my life.” – Samantha S.

“I love all the giveaways and contests that the FAMILY Magazine does. You always win some great prizes.” – Ashlee C. We’d LOVE to hear from you! CONTACT US AT.... jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

ADVERTISE With Us! The Family Magazine celebrates today’s family and champions the women at its center. Every page provides smart, practical solutions to help moms raise happy, healthy families. With a particular emphasis on the concerns and issues faced by all mothers today, The Family Magazine fills a need as the only familyfocused magazine in the three-county Michiana area. Call us for rates and more info! 574 387- 5420 THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Together Time, 10:00 A.M., Peace Lutheran Church & School, Granger

First Fridays,

5:00 P.M., Downtown South Bend & Goshen

The House That Rockne Built: Notre Dame Stadium Opening Party, 5:00 P.M., The History Museum, South Bend

9/11 Remembrance Day

5-6

Big Labor Day Weekend Steam & Power Show,

The Color Run Shine, 9:00 A.M., Four Winds Field-South Bend

10:00 A.M., Hesston Steam MuseumLa Porte

Grandparent’s Day

Fall Festival, 4:00 P.M., Downtown St. Joseph, MI

National Gymnastics Day,

11:00 A.M., Inspire Athletics-Elkhart

National Comic Book Day

Breastfeeding Class For Moms And Dads,

6:00 P.M.-8:30 P.M., Frederick S. Upton Education CenterSt. Joseph, MI

Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike,

College Fair,

International Peace Day

Step Family Day

10:00 A.M. – 2:00 P.M., Irish Green At The University Of Notre Dame

Family & Children’s Center Family Festival,

2:00 P.M., South Bend Civic Theatre

6:00 P.M. – 7:30 P.M., The Century Center-South Bend

1 2 6 7 8 9 10 15 17 18 20 22 23 24 26 28 29 Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W

GIFT IDEAS FOR Make this year’s Grandparent’s Day a very special day for each grandma and grandpa! Give these fun gift ideas that the kids can make!

Memory Book:

Grandparent’s Day

Purchase a photo album and have each one of your kids pick out at least five of their favorite photos that remind them of their grandparents. Have them do their own “scrap-booking” to give it an extra special touch!

Personalized Coffee Mugs: Bring out the

Sharpies and have your kids doodle on a white mug! Bake in the oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes after their artwork is complete. (Tip: It is recommended to hand wash these special mugs instead of putting them in the dishwasher.)

Handprint Flowers: Trace your kid’s hands and help cut them out. Glue the hands onto a cardstock or a think canvas and add “stems” with pipe cleaners. On each finger (or pedal), have your child write something that they love about their grandparents.

superhero

MATCH-UP

Fashion Kids Preview

In honor of National Comic Book Day (September 25th), see how many famous celebrities you can match up based on their superhero character!

Little Girl Style:

Fashionable Feet:

Little Boy Style:

(www.theberry.com)

(www.freshlypicked.com)

(www.sydanaanet.blogspot.fi)

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

A. Robert Downey Jr.

1. Spiderman

B. Ryan Reynolds

2. Wolverine

C. Toby Maguire

3. Green Latern

D. Christian Bale

4. Superman

E. Chris Evans

5. The Incredible Hulk

F. Edward Norton

6. Ironman

G. Hugh Jackman

7. Batman

H. Henry Cavill

8. Captain America

FAMILY recipe

Individual Baked

TIME: 20 minutes prep, 10 minutes assembly, 20 minutes baking

Apples

By: Katie & Theresa Slott

MAKES: 10 servings INGREDIENTS: 10 apples, unpeeled, cored whipped cream or vanilla ice cream, optional, for serving Ingredients for the filling: 1/3 c. packed brown sugar 1/3 c. old-fashioned rolled oats 1/3 c. wheat germ 1 t. cinnamon 1/4 t. nutmeg 1/4 t. ginger kosher salt, a pinch zest of 1 lemon or 1 orange, optional 6 T. butter, softened

Ingredients for the basting juice: 1/2 c. apple juice (or cider) 2 T. maple syrup 1 t. vanilla extract 1 t. lemon juice or orange juice Topping bar options: Dried Fruits (raisins, dried cranberries, currants, chopped prunes, chopped apricots) Nuts (slivered almonds, pecans, walnuts, hazelnuts) Candies (chocolate chips, any kind, mini or regular-sized; white chocolate chips; butterscotch chips)

TIPS: These baked apples are best while still warm. If there isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t enough basting liquid in the cups, the toppings may burn instead of caramelizing, and the apples will not bake through evenly.

STEPS: Mix the filling: In a medium bowl, stir together the brown sugar, oats, wheat germ, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, salt and zest (if using). With the fork, mix in the softened butter until crumbly. Set aside. Mix the basting juice: In a jar with a lid, place the apple juice, maple syrup, vanilla and citrus juice. Cover and shake to combine. Set aside. Assemble the toppings: Place the toppings in small bowls, with small spoons to scoop them with. Prepare the apples: Wash and core the apples. Place each one in its own baking dish, and place all the baking dishes on a baking sheet. Add about a tablespoon of the basting juice and then scoop some of the filling into the middle of each one, packing it down a bit. Assemble the apples: Preheat the oven to 425F. Place all the toppings and the baking sheet holding the apples on a table. Gather your little ones (or friends), give each an apple in its dish, and invite them to add their own desired toppings. Once everyone is finished, add basting liquid and/or filling as necessary. The basting liquid should come about 1/4"-1/2" up the side of the dish. Place the dishes back on the baking sheet. Place the baking sheet in the oven and bake the apples for 12-20 minutes. Check the softness by piercing each apple with a sharp knife. When the knife slips easily through to the center of the apple, it is done baking. Enjoy apples with a scoop of whipped cream or vanilla ice cream.

KATIE and THERESA SLOTT are sisters-in-laws who write the food blog, Cooking for the Fam, where they share lots of tips, family-favorite recipes and meal plans. For more recipes like this one, or to see step-by-step photos of this recipe, check out their website, www.cookingforthefam.com.

FAMILY fun

BUCKET LIST By: Jackie Folkert

Just because Labor Day snuck up on you doesn’t mean that summer fun has to end. Summer doesn’t officially end until September 22nd, and even then temperatures tend to stay beach worthy until October. So don’t toss your summer bucket list just yet. There’s still time to scratch each item off the list.

Go Berry, Err, Fruit Picking So the strawberries and blueberries have come and gone. Kick your fruit picking skills up a notch by harvesting grapes, peaches, nectarines, pears and raspberries instead. The fruits’ ripening varies, so they may be picked well into September. Head to Johnson’s Farm in early September to pick raspberries and blackberries. Located in Hobart, you can visit on Saturday or head over after the kids are finished with school, as the farm doesn’t close till 6 P.M. Pick your own pears, plums and grapes at Pavolka Fruit Farm in Michigan City. The farm is closed Mondays but is open Sundays from 12 till 5 P.M.

Hit the Beach for an Afternoon— or a Weekend Want to enjoy the beach without the crowds? September is an ideal time to tote your kids to the beach. Silver Beach in St. Joseph remains open through September. It closes at sunset, which ranges between 7:30 and 8:15 P.M. in September. Making a beeline for the beach after school is doable: pack a picnic dinner, do homework during the car ride and you’re all set.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

South Beach located on Water Street in South Haven is open all year and doesn’t close till 10 P.M. Walk the pier, skateboard at the park and take a picture of the lighthouse. Take advantage of the seasonal rates and stay for the weekend.

Entertain Outside Entertaining friends outside in September goes beyond tailgating. Throw a cookout regardless of the calendar. Purchase a portable fire pit now that summer items are on sale. For less than $100, you can warm up your patio and start toasting those marshmallows. (Wood-burning pits give off extra heat.) Embrace the gradual change of season by choosing a unique theme for your cookout. Try a cheeky Wear White After Labor Day theme: top picnic tables with white tablecloths and cutlery and ask guests to wear white. Another theme could be Indian Summer: Plan a menu that serves distinctly summer and autumn fare (potato salad, apple cider donuts) and play games such as bobbing for apples and water balloon toss.

Take a Road Trip Road trips don’t need to be complicated or cover thousands of miles. You can even take one between school dismissal and bedtime. The key is targeting an attraction that won’t be available or easily reached during cold weather.

Chicago boasts family entertainment year round, but a few activites are more fun in the summer. Tall Ship Windy, the maritime ship docked at Navy Pier provides an excellent view of the skyline. Kids are invited to hoist the sails. A pirate tells ghost stories. Milennium Park is always a thrill, with rock climbing, swings and an abstract sculpture that spouts water for splashing. Catch live music at the Jay Pritzker Pavilion, an amphitheater that seats up to 11,000. It’s an easy day trip. Another idea is to drive north to Saugatuck for a dune ride. The 30-minute tour takes you up into the famous dunes for views of Lake Michigan. The kids run down the dune and get a thrill from the swift dune buggy speeds. Though children under one shouldn’t ride, two-year-olds on up will delight in the ride and adults will appreciate the tour guide’s jokes and interesting facts. Dune buggy rides run every day until September 25th. The Frederick Meijer Gardens in Grand Rapids features floral art, sculptures, photography lessons, concerts and children’s activities. The Lena Meijer Children’s Garden engages kids’ senses as they dig for fossils, follow animal tracks, run the butterfly maze, and play in a gigantic water table in the shape of the Great Lakes.

RECEIVE

REDUCED RATES & RESORT CREDIT ON YOUR FAMILY’S HOLIDAY VACATION!

DREAMS TULUM RESORT & SPA 3 Unlimited-Luxury® nights from $607 per person Deluxe Garden View Room Category Booking Window: 7/28/15 – 9/30/15 Travel Window: 7/28/15 – 12/22/15 Advertised Rates Valid for Travel: 11/18/15 – 11/21/15 PARADISUS PUNTA CANA RESORT 4 All-Inclusive nights from $774 per person Booking Window: 12/15/14 – 12/22/15 Travel Window: 5/1/15 – 12/22/15 Advertised Rates Valid for Travel: 12/15/15 – 12/19/15 Rate for travel to Paradisus Punta Cana Resort does not include a $10 per person Tourist Card payable at the airport upon arrival. Guests may now pre-purchase these cards prior to departure at: http://www.dgii.gov.do/tarjetaTuristica/en/about/Paginas/default.aspx UNLIMITED-LUXURY® PACKAGE PRICE IS PER PERSON AND INCLUDES: 3-night hotel accommodations • $200 resort credit per room per stay* Roundtrip hotel transfers • Hotel tax and service charges • All meals, unlimited drinks and snacks • Non-motorized watersports • Entertainment and much more. All- INCLUSIVE® PACKAGE PRICE IS PER PERSON AND INCLUDES: 4-night hotel accommodations • $450 resort credit per room per stay* Roundtrip hotel transfers • Hotel tax and service charges • All meals, unlimited drinks and snacks • Non-motorized watersports, entertainment and much more.

Call the Travel Professionals at

574-534-1521 www.mennotrav.com

Seizing the last few weeks of summer only requires creativity. Remember, Summer isn’t really over until the first snow flies.

American Express Vacations brand operated by Travel Impressions, Ltd. Rates are per person and based on double occupancy. *$200 in resort credit is per room, per stay and broken down as follows: two coupons of $40 and one coupon of $20 in Spa treatments, $60 for one romantic dinner per stay with one coupon of $40 and one coupon of $20, $40 for bottles of wine at any restaurant with four coupons of $10. Resort credit is not redeemable for cash and non-transferable. Coupons must be presented at time of service request. **$450 resort credit can be used for up to $100 for services at the spa (2 $50 vouchers), up to $100 for a room upgrade, up to $50 for premium wine (2 $20 vouchers and 1 $10 voucher), and up to $200 for food & beverages (8 $25 vouchers). Blackout, weekend, holiday and peak season surcharges apply. Promotion is accurate at time of posting and is subject to changes, exceptions, cancellation charges and restrictions. Not responsible for errors or omissions in the posting of this information. Additional higher priced packages available. Valid for new bookings only. American Express Vacations materials (including, but not limited to, names, trademark, service marks, logos, marketing materials, etc.) shall not be used, reproduced, transmitted or distributed in any way, except with the express written consent of American Express Vacations. All products and services offered and rendered by American Express Vacations are provided solely by Travel Impressions, Ltd. and its agents. Travel Impressions, Ltd. is not affiliated with American Express Company. For the avoidance of doubt, none of such products or services are offered or rendered by American Express Company or its subsidiaries or affiliates. CST #2029006-20, IOWA #758, Washington UBI #602 425 801. CJ003-15_VK_8.21.15 THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY kids

Ways to Stop Fixing your

KID’S PROBLEMS By: Noelle Elliott

From the moment your child is born, your main purpose is to be his or her problem solver. If they are hungry, you feed them. When they are wet, you change them. When they are dirty, you clean them. So when they grow up it is a natural tendency to continue to fix their problems. But what if I told you that helping them all the time is actually causing more problems in the long run? It’s true.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

In addition to learning basic life skills, like tying ones shoes, problem solving is just as important of a skill. Have you seen the early water survival training that parents enroll their babies in? I lack the courage and stomach to throw my baby into the water in an effort to teach them to float. Deep down I know this is an important skill and I agree that teaching a child to survive if they fall in the water is lifesaving. A professional teaches it, and I want to stress that the parents don’t just throw their baby in the water and hope for the best. By the end of the professionally taught class the baby instinctually knows what to do if they were to ever fall in the water. A little bit of discomfort for the parents resulted a life skill in the child that will last forever. Encouraging your child to solve his or her own problems is a similar process, yet far less dramatic. I recently witnessed my son going through a social dilemma. A friend who he spent time with regularly suddenly decided to shun him. He had made some new friends and didn’t want to share the new friendships with my son. From an adult’s perspective, I could clearly see that the boy was insecure and didn’t want my son to receive more attention than he did with his new friends. However, my son anything other than the rejection. I wanted to do several things like, call his friend’s mother, talk to the kid myself. Cry. Take my son out for a hot fudge sundae. When it came down to it, the reason it bothered me so much was because I had experienced a similar pain when I was a child and I wanted to protect my child from the same pain. As hard as it was, I didn’t intervene, just as my mother didn’t with me. I talked with my son, but I allowed him to figure it out himself. Within a few days my son was playing with his old friend again. When I asked him how he solved his problem, he said that he just asked his friend why he had left him out. Sometimes a child’s simple solution is all that is needed. An adult, or a mother in this case, would have made it much more complicated and would have also ran the risk of humiliating her preteen son.

“When they don’t, they trip over their laces.”

“A little bit of discomfort for the parents resulted a life skill in the child that will last forever.”

So how do you learn to step out of your child’s way when you know very well that they are going to make a mistake? It isn’t easy, but taking a cue from my son, it is pretty simple. Let them feel emotional pain. Instead of trying to make them feel better, get to the root of what it is that hurts so much. Let them articulate their feelings and just listen. It is easy to blame another child by assuming the other child is “just jealous” but that doesn’t help your child anyway. Rather, explain that it is okay to feel sad or lonely and let them know that the sad feelings will pass eventually. Allow them to discover the consequences of their actions. As long as it doesn’t put them in serious danger, letting them trip and fall once in a while is beneficial. I repeatedly ask my son’s to tie their shoes, and when they don’t, they trip over their laces. It is then, that they finally understand why I have been asking them to tie their shoes. Be your child’s soft place to fall. Allowing your child to make mistakes is one way to help them grow into self-sufficient young men and women. However, it is also important that they know that no matter what they do they can always come to you to console and comfort them. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Should

FAMILY kids

HIGH SCHOOL Start

LATER? H

By: Lara West

ow often do you hear a high school aged student say, “I wish school started earlier?” Not very often, that’s for sure. There’s been a slow push for high school to start later across the country for many years, and in recent years it’s starting to gain real momentum. A later start time for middle and high school students was considered, and dismissed, by the South Bend Community School Corporation in June 2015. The primary concern in this decision was the logistics of transportation, one which many school districts seem to find difficult to accommodate. SchoolsStartTime. org reports that the issue will be revisited for recommendations in December of this year for the 2016-2017 school year.

“Puberty makes it more difficult for adolescents to fall asleep as early as a their younger selves would.”

There are people who scoff at the suggestion of a later start time. “I had to wake up early, and I survived,” or “Here we go, pampering to the children’s wants…” But there are studies performed by top researchers that support a later start time for the child’s need. The Sleep Foundation cites sleep deprivation as the primary concern for pushing back the school day. As prolonged sleep deprivation can lead to depression and automobile accidents cause by drowsy driving. It’s easy to make the accusation that the teenagers need to put their electronics away and go to sleep earlier, but Dr. Mary A. Carskadon of the Sleep Foundation has led studies showing that there is a biological change with puberty making it more difficult for adolescents to fall asleep as early as a their younger selves would. The problem is that their bodies still need close to 9 ¼ hours of sleep a night. School start times progressively get earlier; elementary around 8:35 and high school at 7:20. When accounting for physical and mental needs of teenagers,

these times may be better served in the reverse. (However, an earlier start time for elementary school is not being widely recommended.) I’m an early riser by nature, so I rarely took an issue with getting up early, but many of my peers had trouble keeping their heads up and brains alert during first period. Granted, you always had the one who slept through most of the day, but the “down-andout” head count was always higher during homeroom and first period. They were then removed from the classroom, which guaranteed the loss of an entire lecture.

CHECK OUT www.adecinc.com/jobs TODAY TO FIND OUT HOW YOU CAN FIND EMPLOYMENT AND CHANGE LIVES.

Combining academics with dance, music & art for a lifetime love of learning

Just as South Bend Community School Corporation, many school districts around the country have looked into pushing back the start time of high school. Many use a three-tiered starting system which allows for optimum use of equipment and staff. Most school districts would need to purchase additional school busses, as well as adjust operating procedures and schedules for various other programs. The cost of the change is a serious factor in making the necessary schedule change for many school districts. Pushing back the high school start time would be a positive step in aiding to the health of our teenagers and their changing bodies. Although challenging, the change should be appreciated as an investment in the student’s education, as well as the community.

Call -TODAY! 247-1590 Douglas Rd & Osceola 247-1590 All ages, styles & levels of dance and music

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY kids

SPELL

BOWL: By: Jackie Folkert

Not Your Typical

“Sport”

It’s silent in the auditorium when the audience gasps---will he score or will he choke? The state championship rides on this one . . . word. The Penn High School Spell Bowl team won its 14th state championship when Disha Waghray spelled the word “ouzel” correctly. I couldn’t define “ouzel” let alone spell it in 15 seconds or less. You can’t either? Don’t feel badly about it—Coach Pete DeKever said that his team of super spellers trips up on the word trinitrotoluene (TNT) if they aren’t too careful. (An ouzel is a type of blackbird, if you were wondering.) With 14 state championships in the last 16 seasons, the Spell Bowl team is the winningest group from the Penn-Harris Madison School Corporation, ahead of all athletic, academic and artistic groups. With that win record, some parents might be wishing they had bought their preschoolers dictionaries along with those footballs and dance leotards. “The reality is that many . . . students are not playing that sport 10 years later. They’ll appreciate it, but not use it…Spell Bowl students will use that skill every day for the rest of their life,” DeKever said.

“Spell Bowl students will use that skill every day for the rest of their life.” 16

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Realistically, most parents steer their young kids toward the traditional extracurricular activities, but there is room for more. By encouraging your kids to dabble in some unexpected hobbies and sports you may actually be nurturing future achievement. The nature of activities such as Spell Bowl, forensics, robotics or debate might give parents pause. Do kids really want to devote their free time to rigorous study—on top of their regular homework (especially when the other famous role models are readily available)?

Parents might be surprised.

KUMON:

Spell Bowl Team Co-captain Christopher Yun caught the Spell Bowl bug when he was in eighth grade. He recognized the potential to make solid relationships while competing on a winning team. “We have great chemistry with each other,” he said about his team. He said that unlike other activities, he applies what he gains from Spell Bowl to many areas of his life. “It gives good discipline for any subject or anything you’re willing to put effort into. It’s rigorous.”

Give your child a head start. Starting now can give your child important advanta ge s.

Some activities may suit your kid’s personality more than others, not to mention your family’s lifestyle. “We tried various sports for Chris- soccer zone, golf, tennis and even hockey. Eventually, we learned that you cannot force or mold a person to whom he is not. Chris is a bright kid with heart for music and academics, especially in math, history, and spelling,” said Hayong Yun, his parent. The skills and maturity the students practice—such as how to handle the pressure of spelling one word perfectly for the sake of your teammates—is priceless. “Whatever job they are going to have in the future, it’s going to involve learning, memorizing terms, concepts and facts that they will use in that profession,” DeKever said. The Spell Bowl season lasts about three months, as opposed to other activities that compete year-round and require travel on the weekends. DeKever said that Spell Bowl is less demanding and cheaper. As you’re painting that hockey mural on your kindergartener’s bedroom wall, consider what additional disciplines and skills you want your child to acquire. Might scouting teach appreciation for nature? Could karate teach self-control?

So buy the football, the paints, the piano lessons and cleats, but don’t forget the chess set, calculator and the award-winning GoldieBlox engineering toy. Your kid might just surprise you.

Getting your child started as early as kindergarten or preschool can give him or her a valuable head start – in school and in life. The program begins with simple counting in math and basic letter sounds in reading. It builds a solid academic foundation that will prepa re him or her for the start of school. More importantl y, it fosters curiosity, confidenc e and a love of learning.

OPEN FREE

RATION REGIST - Oct 8 Sept 1

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Individualized program of worksheets allows students to progress on their own

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Students learn new concepts on their own through examples

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Small steps allow smooth progression

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Students do daily assignments

Kumon Math & Reading Center of Granger Call for more information • 574 273.3032 • www.Kumon.com/granger 14500 State Road 23 • Granger, IN 46530 THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY kids

Helping Your

CHILDREN

Cope With Death By: Emily Zander

First it was Grandpa "Wilbur the Pig." One month later, it was Grandma Ginny. And a week after that, our neighbor passed away. In a matter of six weeks, death hit our family hard. Right. Smack. In-the-face. Like many parents, my husband and I tried to help our three and five year old deal with the loss. We explained why Mommy and Daddy were crying, the unexpected out-of-town trips and the flowers arriving at our home. But with each loss, we felt less sure of how to help our kids cope. Were we sharing too much? Not enough? Should they go to the funeral home? At what age do kids understand what death really is? We were trying to deal with our sadness while on center stage in our kids' new experience with death.

Get Comfortable With Your Own Feelings

Child psychologists say the first step in helping your kids deal with loss is to acknowledge your own feelings. The oxygen mask example applies here. You cannot help anyone else until you take care of yourself. Carol Jarvis, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical social worker at Michiana Counseling in Elkhart and a faculty member at Goshen College. She has an extensive background in grief counseling and says helping a child cope with death often starts with parents. "We spend a lot of time working with parents to make sure they are comfortable with their own feelings," Jarvis said. "This has to happen before they can help their children through a difficult time." Grief experts say the way children see their parents react and cope with loss will shape their perspective and interpretation of death. 18

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Keep It Simple

Once parents have taken some time to sort through their own feelings it's important to talk to kids about what is happening. The best advice? Jarvis says keep it simple. She says to answer kids' questions simply and honestly. It helps to know what, and how much information is appropriate for each developmental stage (see chart). While these stages can serve as a guideline in talking to kids, you know what your child can handle better than anyone. The most important thing to remember is patience. When Grandpa Wilbur passed, our kids were surprised to see my husband and I crying. "Mommy and Daddy are sad and miss Grandpa Wilbur," we told them. But, that wasn't good enough for our three-year-old. He constantly came to ask us if we were still sad. His repeated question lasted for several days. The answer seemed so obvious to us; of course we were still sad! But grief counselors say children will often ask the same question over and over again when they are trying to understand. It's best for parents to calmly answer the question as many times as necessary to give the child reassurance.

Kids Grieve Differently

Jarvis says kids grieve differently than adults. "There is no formula for how kids grieve," she said. "We have to allow them the time and space to work through it in their own way." Jarvis says most of the time, kids work through their feelings by playing.

HOW CHILDREN GRIEVE Infants/Toddlers

Know that adults are sad but have no understanding of death.

Preschool

View death as reversible, temporary, and impersonal.

Ages 5-9

Understand that death is permanent and the circumstances that result in death. Believe death is something that happens to others; not someone they know. Nightmares are common at this age.

Age 10-Middle School

Comprehend that death is final and means all body functions stop. Acting out as a way to cope is common at this age.

This disturbing truth rang true in our house. For several weeks, all of my daughter's babies were "dying because they were sick." Meanwhile, my son was burying his tractors in the backyard because they were "dead." I thought I was surely doing something wrong in helping my kiddos through our tough time, but experts say this type of expression is normal. And even after the initial shock of death has passed, kids continue to deal with grief sporadically. "You may not hear anything about the loss for weeks or months, and then it may pop back up in an unexpected way," Jarvis said. "Continue to answer questions and remember kids are very literal."

K-12

Math Help

Math Enrichment

Test Prep

Homework Help

Get ready. Get set. Get ahead. Now enrolling for fall.

Jarvis remembers working with one family that was baffled by their young son's behavior. He was always "looking" for Grandpa in and around his surroundings. The boy had heard his family talking about "losing Grandpa" and for several months took that to mean they had misplaced him. Grief experts say children are so literal parents should avoid using words and phrases like "sleep,” "rest" and "went away" to describe death. Kids may become afraid to go to sleep at night or separate from parents because they associate these routines with death. Instead, call it what it is. "Grandpa got very sick and died." In addition to being a good listener and allowing kids time to grieve, parents should watch closely for signs that they aren't coping well with the loss of a loved one. Changes in behavior, sleep or appetite are just some of the signals that a child is having a difficult time. Some kids and families may require the help of a counselor during the grief process.

888-850-MATH Mathnasium.com/Granger Heritage Square

UPCOMING SHOWS At The Lerner • Downtown Elkhart

NOVEMBER 21 • 7:30PM

No matter how a child reacts to death, they need the support and sympathy of a caring adult. After all, the loss of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences for us all to navigate; regardless of our age.

OCTOBER 16 & 17 • 7:30PM OCTOBER 18 • 3PM CALL FOR TICKETS

574.293.4469 www.premierarts.org THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

1 Notre Dame Center For Arts & Culture, South Bend

Outsider At The Vatican, All Day,

â&#x20AC;&#x153;No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face." â&#x20AC;&#x201C; John Donne

Party, 5:00 P.M., The History Museum, South Bend

5:30 P.M., Ice Box-South Bend

Learn To Skate With Irish Figure Skating Club,

The House That Rockne Built: Notre Dame Stadium Opening

First Fridays,

5:00 P.M., Downtown South Bend & Goshen

Together Time,

4 10:00 A.M., Peace Lutheran Church & School, Granger

NBC (Notre Dame Stadium)

Notre Dame VS Texas Longhorns, 7:30 P.M.,

10:00 A.M., Hesston Steam Museum-La Porte

Big Labor Day Weekend Steam & Power Show,

By all these lovely tokens September days are here, With summer's best of weather And autumn's best of cheer. - Helen Hunt Jackson

2015

SEPTEMBER

Scan this QR Code to get connected to our online calendar at MichianaMom.com!

Want to check out even more things to do in Michiana?

Big Labor Day Weekend Steam & Power Show,

South Bend Civic Theatre

Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike, 7:30 P.M.,

7:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

Ralphie May,

3:00 P.M., Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

Deathtrap,

GRANDPARENT’S DAY

10:00 A.M., Hesston Steam Museum-La Porte

Meditation Yoga,

National

International Peace Day

Day

Good Neighbor

6:00 P.M.-8:30 P.M., Frederick S. Upton Education Center-St. Joseph, MI

Breastfeeding Class For Moms And Dads,

5:30 P.M. – 6:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental Center

12:00 P.M., The History Museum, South Bend

Walking Through History,

29 Confucious Day! GOODLUCK!

Rieth Interpretive Center, Goshen

Adult Outdoor Boot Camp, 5:30 P.M.,

“It was one of those perfect fall days when the air is cool enough to wake you up but the sun is also kissing your face.” – Anita Diamant

College Fair,

6:00 P.M. – 7:30 P.M., The Century CenterSouth Bend LaGrange County Public Library-Shipshewana Branch

LEGO Club, 3:30 P.M.,

10:00 A.M., Cleveland Branch-Elkhart Public Library

Family Day

Step

Civic PlazaDowntown Elkhart

Summer Dance Elkhart, 8:00 P.M.,

All Day, Downtown South Bend

Wednesday Wine Walks,

Story Time-Autumn,

Center For The Arts, Michigan City

OCT 1

5:00 P.M., Goshen Courthouse

Goshen First Fridays: Homecoming,

Kids Night Out,

5:00 P.M., Downtown South Bend

Dream Big Retreat,

7:00 A.M., Essenhaus Inn And Conference Center, Middlebury

NATIONAL COMIC BOOK DAY

Downtown St. Joseph, MI

Fall Festival, 4:00 P.M.,

Nature Nook Book Group, 6:30 P.M.,

Niles Scream Park,

Civic Plaza-Downtown Elkhart

Summer Dance Elkhart, 8:00 P.M.,

11:00 P.M., Niles

10:00 A.M., Concord Mall, Elkhart

ETHOS Science Center Build It Competition,

NBC (Notre Dame Stadium)

Notre Dame VS UMass Minutemen, 3:30 P.M.,

Niles Scream Park, 8:00 P.M. –

National Gymnastics Day,

11:00 A.M., Inspire Athletics-Elkhart

NBC (Notre Dame Stadium)

Notre Dame VS Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, 3:30 P.M.,

Deathtrap, 7:30 P.m., Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

Niles Scream Park, 8:00 P.M. –

ABC (Scott Stadium, VA)

Notre Dame VS Virginia Cavaliers, 3:30 P.M.,

10:00 A.M. – 2:00 P.M., Irish Green At The University Of Notre Dame

Family & Children’s Center Family Festival,

11:00 P.M., Niles

8:00 P.M. – 11:00 P.M., Niles

Annual Dinner,

Four Winds Field-South Bend

The Color Run Shine, 9:00 A.M.,

8:00 P.M. – 11:00 P.M., Niles

Niles Scream Park,

Skating Rink-South Bend

Learn To Skate With Irish Figure Skating Club, 5:0 P.M., Ice Box

9/11 Remembrance Day

P.M., Niles Scream Park

Kane Hodder At The Niles Scream Park, 8:00 P.M. – 11:00

6:00 P.M., The History Museum-South Bend

Woodlawn Nature CenterElkhart

Bend Civic Theatre

Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike, 7:30 P.M., South

Yoga Session For Kids, 5:00 P.M., Lubeznik

5:30 P.M., Wellfield Botanic GardensElkhart

Eating Right For You – What’s Up With GMOs,

FAMILY pregnancy

THE Due Month By: Meagan Church

ne of the first questions many pregnant women hear is, “What’s your due date?” And at the end of term, one of the most frequently asked questions is, “You’re still pregnant?”

Many people view the due date as a precise expectation of when the little one will make his appearance, as if he has a notification set to wake him and move him out on his expected arrival date. However, according to the American Pregnancy Association, only an estimated five percent of women actually deliver their babies on their due dates. Due dates are typically calculated by counting 40 weeks from the first day of the woman’s last period, if she has regular cycles. “We call it the EDC or estimated date of confinement,” said Kristin Vincent, midwife at Saint Joseph OB/GYN Specialists and Midwifery. “It’s an estimate based on the first day of your last period and a lot of women don’t know when that is. Plus, that date doesn't tell you when you ovulate. Everyone ovulates differently.” Not only is the calculation not precise, the factors that bring about labor are still not fully understood either. “So many mom and baby factors go into the start of labor,” said Kristin, who has practiced midwifery for 14 years. “If we knew how to make labor happen, I’d write a book.” In a world of demands and schedules and deadlines, parents want to know when a baby will arrive. After all, it is much easier to plan that way. Unfortunately babies don’t adhere to schedules (just wait until the middle-of-the-night feedings). So, what are expectant parents to do when anticipating their little one’s arrival?

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Adopt the due month. A baby is considered term when she is born between 37 and 42 weeks of gestation. That means a baby could arrive three weeks “early” or “late” and still be right on time. Given that amount of time, a due month is a more appropriate way to expect when a baby will be born.

Consider previous births. According to the American Pregnancy Association, firsttime mothers who experience spontaneous, or a natural start to labor, tend to average 41 weeks and one day, while women who have had babies average 40 weeks and three days. So, a first time mother should anticipate being pregnant for longer than the estimated 40 weeks.



A lot of brain development is happening at the end of pregnancy.”

Look at family history. If a mom-to-be wants to know when the baby will decide to vacate, she should ask her own mother when she delivered her babies. Family history can sometimes point to whether a baby will arrive early, late or right on time. As Kristin said, “Gestational length can be determined by heredity. Some families deliver around the same gestational date.”

Understand what’s happening. “A lot of brain development is happening at the end of pregnancy,” Kristin said. “You want to give them the best shot you can, so don’t force them out for no reason. Sometimes a baby has to come out for medical reasons, but if not, let them stay to develop more and make it all the better.”

Have a party. Kristin tells her patients to have a party on the baby’s due date and ask people to bring freezer meals for after the birth. “People have everything ready and all they are doing is waiting and it feels like forever.” The party planning will give the expectant parents something else to focus on.

Be patient. While this may be easier said than done, the only thing a parent-to-be can do is be patient. This is perhaps one of their first lessons in parenting, and patience will be a necessity when it comes to child rearing. “Pregnancy is about patience,” Kristin said. “At the end, you’re just over it and ready to have the baby. I call it the Tired of Being Pregnant Syndrome. It’s guaranteed that you will have that diagnosis, but it’s not a good enough reason to get that baby out.”

So, take a deep breath, try to relax and know that when the little one is ready, he will make his appearance. And, in the end, remember what Kristin said, “I guarantee your kid will come out. They can’t live in there forever. You may think they will, but they won’t.” THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY pregnancy

To Cloth Diaper….

Or NOT To Cloth Diaper That IS The Question

By: Lara West

ave you thought about cloth diapering, but then decide it seems too confusing and exhausting? When my husband and I first decided to cloth diaper we were so overwhelmed with the many options: flats, pre-folds, all-in-one, covers and pockets (do they actually fit in your pocket?). So, if you’ve sighed in frustration and shied away from the notion, know that you are not alone. We once thought about giving up on it, too. I wanted to throw the towel in right at the beginning, but I forced myself to continue researching and working with the different styles hands on. I learned the cloth diaper lingo pretty quickly, and before I knew it, I was part of a really neat online community of like-minded mothers. When people noticed my daughter wiggling around in cloth diapers, they most frequently commented about: the extra laundry, the smell and/or the complex number of options and functions. While there is no getting around the fact that there is an extra two loads (or so) of laundry each week, the smell was almost non-existent in any space outside of the diaper hamper and the many styles of diapers just gives you more opportunities to find the best one for you, your husband and your baby. (FYI: Cloth diapers become very addictive.)

Optional, But Helpful Accessories: • Diaper Sprayer: Attaches to the toilet to remove “waste” from the diapers. • Wet Bag: Waterproof and reusable bag used to house soiled diapers till washing. • Wet Tote: Small waterproof and reusable bag for housing soiled diapers on-the-go. • Reusable Wipes: Small squares of soft fabric used in place of disposable wipes. • Diaper Liner: Flushable or reusable, used to make removal of solid waste easier.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Here is a quick resource guide to deciphering the many popular styles of cloth diaper options available to help get you started: FLATS: These are square cloths that you fold in threes and place inside a diaper cover or a wool cover to contain the wetness. This is one of the least expensive routes to take in a cloth diapering world. With a diaper cover you can easily wipe the cover for immediate reuse, and just change the soaker cloth. They take up little space in drawers and bags, and wash and dry easily and quickly. These are also great for use as burp cloths and clean up towels. You can find them in most big-box stores, but the absorption quality should be a concern when doing so. It’s best to buy high-quality diapers for the best performance. PRE-FOLDS: These diapers are very similar to the flats, except they have a thicker middle section to increase absorbency. They still needed to be folded, as the flats do, but this is not a complicated procedure. It is simply folding the two outer halves in making a slim rectangle. They also require a cover, which can be used with the flats and fitted diapers.

FITTED: Fitted diapers are a complete absorbent diaper made for the size of your baby with elastic around the leg holes. These require a method for closure (snaps or pins) and a cover to contain wetness. These have a longer drying time due to the amount of absorption material.

ALL-IN-ONE: If you’re looking for quick and convenient with everything you need all in one place to eliminate separate covers and soakers- this is for you. AIO diapers have the soaker and covers all stitched together, they most closely resemble a disposable diaper. You can get these with extra absorption for your heavy wetter. They do use more space in both a bag and a drawer, and require a longer drying time. POCKET: The pocket diapers are a two-part system. You have the waterproof cover sewn to a center lining piece, and then you insert the soaker between the lining and the shell. This is similar to the AIO system when completely assembled; solving the long drying time by having the removable soaker, but then you have to “stuff ” the soaker insert back into the diapers after washing. They can be bulky, and also take up quite a bit of space. There are several options available for the type of fabric materials used with each diaper. Everything from cotton to organic bamboo is available in countless colors and patterns to match every personality. You can certainly use those big prickly pins that our grandparents used with the flat, pre-folds and fitted diapers or you can use a fastener. Other options for the covers, AIO, and pocket diapers include hook and loop (Velcro) and snap buttons to make diaper changes quick and easy. Cloth diapering doesn’t have to be complicated. In fact, my husband and I both found the snap closure PUL diaper covers with one or two pre-folds to be the most convenient for us. We rarely had a leakage issue, and our daughter didn’t seem to mind them. I hope you have a better idea of what each diaper style does and wish you success on your cloth diapering journey.

HAPPY DIAPERING! THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

SPECIAL SECTION

Embrace Family Fall Activities

fall family fun

By: Lara West

The heat of summer is finally simmering down, and now, Mother Nature has provided us with a beautiful natural playground to exert our energies and engage in quality family fun time. Most fall inspired fun is geared to be outside and active when the air is a touch chilly and the leaves are beginning to change colors. Here is a checklist of 15 wonderful activities that are incredibly fun for the entire family:

Visit an apple orchard. Young or old, everyone in the family will enjoy the fresh outdoors while picking a bushel of apples and taking a tractor pulled wagon ride. The apples will stay fresh for most of the winter if you store them in a dry cool place, like a basement.

BRING YOUR WHOLE FAMILY to enjoy

WHOLESOME FALL FUN! Enjoy a Hayride Out to Our Pumpkin Patch Venture Through a Maze of Corn and Discover the Pumpkins on the Other Side Pick Your Own Pumpkin from the Fields Play on Our Wooden Play Structures

ARTS & CRAFT FA IR, Saturday October 1 th 0 9am-5pm ,

FAMILY FUN

HOURS:

September 26th through October 31st, Saturday 10am-5pm, Sunday 10am-4pm

Relax in Our Picnic Pavilion Talk With the Animals at Our Petting Zoo Groups Welcome – Call for Reservation and Special Group Rates Located at 57754 Crumstown Hwy. South Bend, IN 46619

2 miles west of the Sample-Mayflower intersection

574-287-1935

www.matthysfarmmarket.com 26

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Teachers, SCHEDULE YOUR FIELD TRIPS NOW! Open for Field Trips Monday-Friday from Mid-September — October 31st

Make some applesauce. Extend your family time together by opening the kitchen to the world of making fresh applesauce. Bonus: The smell of your home while making homemade applesauce is delightful! Bake a dozen apple pies. It’s not fall without the warm scent of fresh apple pies filling every room in the house. Make the dough from scratch and use some of your fresh picked apples for a family affair. Go star gazing. Roll-up the sleeping bags, heat up a thermos of hot chocolate, download a star gazing app and share in the excitement of the largest search-and-find puzzle. Yard cleanup. Disperse rakes, gloves, bags and separate the sticks from the leaves. Pull the speakers outside and dance together with some friendly tunes while the fun gets all the work done. Leaf Jumping. Yard work doesn’t have to be a solo assignment, and when the end game is flying through the air and landing on a fluffy pile of leaves - the work is worth it.

Go on a scavenger hunt. Grab some bug spray, a good pair of boots and hit up a trail at one of your local parks. Create a list of items for everyone in the family to complete on the hike. Host a “battery free” party. Have the children invite a friend or two over and set up some electronic free yard games. Try a Bobbing for Apples station, hopscotch squares, jump ropes, yo-yo’s, bean bag toss, ladder ball or the timeless classic, tug-of-war. Make bark rubbings. Interpreting what the clouds look like is a go to classic, but bark rubbings open a whole new world of imaginations. Host a chili cook off. Invite the neighbors or just wage a household battle. Everyone makes a batch of chili the way they think it should be done, and have a secret ballot voting session to declare a winner. Paint with acorns. Collect a good amount of acorns and dip them in different colors of paint. Place a piece of paper inside an old shoe box or pizza box and create a really neat masterpiece by rolling them round. Light up the fire pit. Cozy up around the fire pit and cautiously cook a hot dog dinner, roast ‘mallows with a sharpened stick, and sip on some apple cider. Let the musician in the family have a chance to entertain, and share a few childhood memories with the children. Stuff a scarecrow. Have everyone choose an old outfit for their very own scarecrow. Set them out in the yard as a seasonal decoration to entertain the neighbors. Visit a pumpkin patch. Pick out the perfect pumpkin in your eyes, and then paint or carve it. Have a race to see who can get the gooey insides cleaned out the fastest. Make Halloween costumes. Don’t buy a suit that hundreds of others are wearing, put your heads together as a family after dinner one night and organize a family theme. If you’re really ambitious, have everyone sketch their costume design and try to make it themselves. Let the fun begin with these great ideas for involving the entire family in fall themed fun and adventure.

Enjoy fall fun with a

Private Hayride! at Bendix Woods County Park, New Carlisle Wednesdays - Sundays, September 30th - November 1st Youth groups, birthday parties and family gatherings for up to 80 people. (Includes tractor-drawn hayride and campfire.)

OPEN

Reservations a 574/654-3155 a www.sjcparks.org

Explore the 20 acre corn maze with over 3.5 miles of paths! Also enjoy Hay Rides, the Cow Train, 2 Huge Goat Walks, 16ft Spider Web, Milk the Cow Exhibit, Farm Animals, Straw Mountain, Pumpkins, Fall decor, Concessions and many more fun activities for the family that cover our 90 acre farm!

Opening day is Sept 15 , 2015! th

Tuesday - Friday: 4pm - 8pm Saturday & Sunday: 10am - 8pm Closed Mondays School groups by appointment

NEW

Ke t t ! Cornle !

18430 U.S 12 East, Edwardsburg, MI 49112 • 574.370.3403 • cornmaze@aol.com

AmazingAcresCornMaze.com THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY mommy & daddy

Dear Mom,

Stop Peeling the Bananas

Dear Mom, One of the first words most of us encourage our kids to say is, “Mom.” Fast forward a few years when you are hearing that three-letter word repeated ad nauseum and you suddenly begin to wonder why you ever taught them to say that. Sometimes what follows is a random story, thought or observation, but oftentimes it is a request to tie shoes, get a snack, go to the bathroom, push the swing, play catch, blow bubbles, peel a banana, draw a picture, sing a song or comfort a hurt. And sometimes all those requests come in about two-minutes time. As parents, we are tasked with making our jobs obsolete. To raise thriving adults, we must teach them to tie their own shoes, get their own snacks, wipe their own bottoms, do their own dishes and wash the laundry. Of course it takes about 18 years (or longer) for all of those lessons to take. But the thing about kids is that they are often more capable than we realize and we only learn this when we become hands off. For instance, just the other day my six-year-old complained that she wanted to ride her bike, but she couldn’t because the training wheels weren’t on and she wasn’t confident enough to ride without them. This wasn’t the first time she had made the request, but busyness has prevented us from teaching her to ride without them or from putting the wheels back on so she could ride her bike in the meantime. Her eight-year-old brother heard the conversation. He went into the garage and located the training wheels. He looked at her bike, figured out where the wheels belonged, grabbed a tool and went to work attaching the wheels. I stood back and watched the scene. Here was a kid who just a day earlier had asked me to peel a banana for him. And you know what? I did it. I took the banana and pulled back the peel because it was easier. Could he have managed? Yes. But might he have gotten frustrated if the banana did not peel smoothly? Trust me when I say, “Yes, he would have.” So, what did I do? I rescued him. 28

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

By: Meagan Church

“In letting go that confidence is built, independence is realized and our job description changes.”

But in the garage, I watched him attach the wheels and tighten the nut as best he could. I could’ve stepped in. I could’ve moved him to the side and gotten the job done. I could’ve been hands on. But instead I watched. What I discovered was that he was more capable than I had realized. He knew how to figure out the problem. He knew what tool to use and how to get it done. Not only was he proud of his accomplishment, but his sister was grateful to her brother for his help. I learned in that moment that I had been completely underestimating him. As parents, we must be hands on at times. We must change diapers and nurse our babies. We must potty train and do laundry, cook meals and push swings. But we must also let go because it’s in the letting go that confidence is built, independence is realized and our job description changes. It’s a subtle change over time, but it’s a necessary one. After all, at some point (hopefully before college) the kids will have to learn to peel their own bananas.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY mommy & daddy

PRODUCT TESTING:

Tire Cleaner

By: Lara West

“A little elbow grease might go a long way in the case of shiny tires.”

I’m not the mechanic type of girl, but I do like for my car to have that pleasing-to-the-eye shine. I usually wash my car the fun old-fashioned way when the weather permits- with a glove and bucket of soapy water. One area I’ve always struggled with is getting a clean and sparkly shine on my tires. My husband has told me for years now to buy a spray on cleaner, but of course, I fear they won’t work and would rather not waste my money. This summer, I’ve had a change of heart. (Actually, my elbow grease is running low with chasing a little one around all day!) I went to my nearest auto store and purchased a bottle of spray on/rinse off cleaner for $8 and $4. Let’s see if I can get my tires to shine this year, and not have to scrub for hours! For this test I applied one spray to my front driver wheel and the back passenger wheel. The less expensive product was applied to the front passenger wheel and rear driver’s side. Both are said to be an “all-purpose” foaming cleanser which you just spray on and rinse off. After letting them set for the amount of time directed, I found both products to be slightly disappointing. The more expensive brand did appear to be slightly cleaner with a little more shine- but not much. RECOMMENDATION: A little elbow grease might go a long way in the case of shiny tires, and you’re probably going to need it whether you chose the no-work cleaner or not. The $8 cleaner did perform better, but add your elbow grease and you can probably save the four dollars and get the cheaper brand if you desire.

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FAMILY mommy & daddy

Putting CANCER

ON THE BACK BURNER One family’s story of fighting ovarian cancer and maintaining normalcy. By: Meagan Church

When Beckie Morris’ gynecologist found a small cyst on Beckie’s right ovary, she did not think much of it. “She said I shouldn’t worry about it and that I should come back in six months.” When this wife and mother of three girls returned six months later, she received a surprising diagnosis. “The gynecologist did an ultrasound and found that I had tumors on both ovaries.”

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

and mammogram once a year. It means advocating for themselves when it comes to insurance, and finding doctors who they trust and who will support their decisions. For Lynn, it also meant having a hysterectomy after she had three children.

At the age of 43, Beckie was diagnosed with stage 3c ovarian cancer, underwent a full hysterectomy and chemotherapy, and was given a 20 percent chance of living five more years. “I knew cancer was a possibility, but I did not think it would happen to me,” she recalled. “When they told me I had cancer, I was still numb from surgery. I just thought that whatever it is, we’d go with it. It never really scared me.”

All of the diagnoses, treatments and results have affected and even blessed the family. “It has brought our family together and made us appreciate each other more,” Lynn said.

“She never had time to be scared,” Beckie’s daughter Lynn, who was 22 at the time, said. “She was really sick from her first treatment. She was just too busy to be scared.”

The cancer has strengthened their parentchild bond, as well as Beckie’s marriage and relationship with her grandkids. “My husband is the most supportive person you could find. He’s seen me bald more than he’s seen me with hair. It goes to show that looks aren’t everything.”

“I was just trying to survive,” Beckie added. Jill, Beckie’s youngest daughter, who was 12 years old at the time, remembered what it was like when she heard the news. “I really didn’t understand most of it because I was so young. When I first saw my mom in the hospital all hooked up, it hit me. I walked out of the room and started bawling and realized this is real.” She continued, “I asked, ‘Does this mean mom’s going to die?’ I forgot about that. I don’t want to remember that.” That was 17 years ago. Following that round of treatments, Beckie had five years of being cancer free before she received the ovarian cancer diagnosis once again. “It was scary to think I’d have to go through it again. But I figured we’ll do it again and be done.” Since then, she has experienced more recurrences than she can count—perhaps around 20—and she has spent the last four years being consistently treated. Through it all, Beckie has done her best to not let cancer run her life. “It’s important to keep everything normal, to just keep on going and live life like I otherwise would. That makes a big difference.” In 2006, their story took a new turn when her daughters underwent genetic testing to see if they carried the gene for the hereditary cancer their mother had been fighting. “I had thought about having the girls undergo

She continued. “I’ve also been able to bond with my grandkids. That in itself is a blessing.”

“Knowledge is power, I truly believe that.” the BRCA testing, so they could be more vigilant. I talked to the girls and they were willing to be tested.” The test results showed that Lynn and Ann, the two oldest, carry the gene. While the results came with a mixture of emotions, Ann said, “It’s nice to know, so we can do more things to prepare ourselves, so that if we were to get it, we could catch it early.” “Knowledge is power, I truly believe that,” Lynn said. “It’s not news we wanted to hear, but now we know where we stand and we will move forward.” The family believes in being vigilant, which means Ann and Lynn have CA 125 blood tests done every six months, a vaginal ultrasound once a year, and a breast MRI

Beckie enjoys spending so much time with her grandkids that, as Jill said, “She’ll go do chemo and the next day she’s watching the kids.” “My mom is like the Energizer bunny,” Lynn added. Through it all, the girls continue to learn and be inspired by their mother. “She’s our role model and our inspiration. She keeps us going and headed in the right direction,” Ann said. “I’ve learned—it sounds corny, but it’s really true—to live your life to the fullest. Some don’t have that wake up call to do that. They walk around with stress all day long and don’t release it.” Beckie continued, “When you’ve dealt with cancer, it’s on the back burner. You have to live your life and live it fully. Before I was diagnosed with cancer, when I was working, I wouldn't even look at the scenery, but now, I’m more present and mindful. I take the time to say, ‘Wow! That is pretty.’” *Lynn and Ann’s names were changed for privacy.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY mommy & daddy

A STEP MOM’S Role in a

Child’s Life By: Noelle Elliott

or centuries Stepmother’s have carried a bad stigma attached to them. Think of Cinderella and her evil stepmother for example. Folklore has always painted a picture of a woman who has nothing but nasty intentions for her stepchildren. It is true that when a little girl fantasizes about her life as a wife and mother her thoughts don’t immediately imagine her role as a stepmother. However, it is estimated that one out three Americans, an estimated 60 million adults and 20 million children, belong to a stepfamily. Women who take on the role of stepmother are aware of what they are entering in to. And in most cases their intentions are pure because they love the child’s father. However it is a very complicated and delicate situation to blend families and needs to be handled with a significant amount of thought and planning. Each situation is unique and each has its challenges. Whether the children are toddlers, teens or grown children it can be a tough transition for everyone involved. I interviewed three different women and each gave their advice on what has made being a stepmother work and the challenges they have faced along the way. Names have been changed for privacy.

“CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW NOT ONLY THEIR MOTHER BUT ALSO THEIR STEPMOTHER LOVE THEM.” 34

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

Lily has been married a year and this is a second marriage for both. Combined they have five children in their late teens and early twenties.

It is not a Competition She said that it was very hard in the beginning. The children were bitter about the divorce and blamed her, even though she was not the cause. She struggled at first with the children taking the mother’s feelings and viewpoints about her. Initially she felt defensive and found herself competing to be their favorite. Looking back she thinks this was a mistake. This put the children with the burden that they needed to choose which is not the case. With time she said, they found a way to communicate in a healthy way that did not force them to side with anyone. They got to know her slowly and were able to establish their own opinions. She also noted that she had to keep her feeling about their mother to herself. “Children will always side with their mother and it is pointless to change their minds.” Lily said. “Children need to know not only their mother but also their stepmother love them, and, that I the most important thing.” She said.

Take it Slow

The first year was spent just establishing boundaries and a new routine of a blended family. Her advice is to take it slow and an authentic relationship will develop organically.

GrangerVowtoWow_8.18.2015_Layout 1 8/19/15 3:27 PM Page 1

Jane is in her 30's and her father is remarried after her mother passed away from cancer.

Even Grown Kids Need Time to Adjust Jane explained that even though she has children of her own she has found herself feeling envious of her father’s attention to his step-grandchildren. He went from spending the majority of his time at holidays with her children to half of his time since he splits his time with his new wife’s children. She understands that this is the new normal but at time she feels that he has forgotten her mother. Although she is happy that her dad has found love again, she has moments of resentment.

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Erin is a stepmother to one child and has two children with her husband. Her husband and the mother of his first child were never married. This is a first marriage for both.

Live your best life and don’t worry so much She thinks the best way to be a stepmom without really trying to best possible mom you can be by living your life happily. She treats all of her children the same and reminds them that they are not the center of the universe, even though they are the center of yours. What these three woman have done is accepted the situation and remembered that the children did not choose this path, but as long as they have several adults who make them feel special, they will be just fine. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY fun

Photo Courtesy: divitapandey.wordpress.com

I FAMILY MOVIE

Night

(Courtesy of Martin Scorsese) By: Cole Pollyea 36

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

t was only just a few weeks ago that I parked my family on the couch and aggressively suggested that we watch a kid’s film called Hugo. I left out the part that it was by my all-time favorite director, Martin Scorsese, as my parents were well aware that the vast majority of his filmmaking portfolio is far from kids appropriate—to say the least. Why we nor I hadn't seen this exuberant, adventurous and totally kid-appropriate movie up until this point was quite odd, but it definitely would have been a mistake to let Playing like a Wes Anderson film, carrying over many iconic Scorsese camerawork trademarks, and even showcasing a brief cameo appearance by the director himself, Hugo follows the misadventures of a parent-less and unkept young boy who meanders around a train station, assuming the role of the station’s clock keeper. He pals around with a young girl named Isabelle who is totally infatuated with books; he’s the station inspector’s number one target to blame for mischief; and he is in the midst of rebuilding an automaton that meant a lot to his late father. Hugo is also set in 1930’s Paris, and features an ensemble of plenty more appropriately cast and well-crafted characters that weave in and out of the engrossing and universal plot. So instead of dragging the family to a dreaded viewing of the Minions, check out this 2011 work of genius, brought to you by the great director. It’s a refreshing synthesis of entertainment, sustenance and intrigue that discusses the importance of purpose, no matter how big or how small.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

FAMILY book review

You are Your Child’s FIRST TEACHER By Rahima Baldwin Dancy Reviewed By: Tina Emerick, Children’s Services Coordinator, Mishawaka Library

School is back in session and your older children are spending their days learning. Now is the time to prepare your younger child for their success in learning. Children from birth to age six can be nurtured and encouraged to grow and explore, in a natural development that will prepare them for school and in life. The book, You Are Your Child’s First Teacher by Rahima Baldwin Dancy, will give you the wisdom and understanding to enrich your child’s development in the right way and at the right time. Throughout the 13 chapters you will be shown what your role is as parent and teacher and the child’s role as a unique individual. Each section also includes recommended resources to further understanding as a parent, teaching, discipline, nourishing your child’s imagination and play time. Exploring the arts and music, as a means for growth and early childhood education are also explored. Questions are addressed that concern parents from vaccinations to technology, and encouragement for the journey ahead. In the back of the book there is an appendix sharing about Rudolf Steiner and the Waldorf education. Steiner was

a pioneer in developmentally based, age –appropriate learning. The Waldorf curriculum for grades 1-8 shows you what is taught in these schools. Notes, for each chapter, and an index make this book a very useful tool. The library offers an early literacy program called 1,000 Books Before Kindergarten where you and your child become a reading unit at home. Your child will be mentally prepared for school just by listening to a 1,000 books. This is an ongoing reading club and can be paired up with any of the library’s story hours, Lapsit – 12-23 months, Toddler Time – 2-3 years and Preschool Storyhour – 3.5 – 5 years. The library has a parent’s shelf with other topics, for school, situations and different stages in life. So come to the library for the book You are Your Child’s First Teacher to help get you started in working with your child on their development. The library will be happy to show you this book and other material, in print and online, because together we can help your child engage in learning for a lifetime!

FAMILY student book review

Chain Reaction

By Simone Elkeles

Reviewed By: Corinne A. Cogdell, Edwardsburg Middle School

Do you enjoy reading books about fighting for what you love? In the book Chain Reaction, a girl whose name is Nikki, makes mistakes in the past that ruined her attitude and personality. When Nikki was a freshman in high school her boyfriend left her for a gang and later she has a miscarriage. A couple weeks after that, she has to go to a wedding. At the wedding she meets a handsome boy, Luis, who looked her age. He would try to hit on her, but her sour personality got the best of her and she is just upright mean and rude to him. After all she has been through she doesn’t want to give any guy any chances; she assumes that they will be like her ex. She is so uneasy that she is against her best friend’s boyfriend too. She needs someone to help her crack out of her shell. Luis has made it his promise to do that! Will she find love or be miserable? Read Chain Reaction to find out her destiny.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2015

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