September 2014 • Moms Just Know • Free
Fresh Fall
Family
Has Your Child Taken The
D.A.R.E.?
Fun Ideas in Michiana
6
Crafty
Shortcuts for Busy Parents
Real Moms’
Guide
to
Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond
5
Ways to Save On Formula
Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Niles Edwardsburg • Middlebury & Surrounding Communities
IN THE NEXT ISSUE: Holiday Gift Guide
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Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com The FAMILY Magazines PO BOX 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 574.387.5420 • FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com The FAMILY Magazines September 2014 Established in 2006. All rights reserved.
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Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication. Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! Volume 8: Number 9
Find the Hidden Acorn!
6-11 Months 2nd Place: Tenley 3rd Place: Ana
For your enjoyment and fun!
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7-10 Years Old
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2nd Place: Layla 3rd Place: Angelina
Correction: The 2nd and 3rd Place Winners for ages 7-10 photos were to be printed in the July issue along with the Cutest Kids Contest Winner for their age group.
www.MichianaMom.com Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Magazines LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
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F R O M T H E P U B LI S H E R
Things We
8
(at FAMILY)
Things
We Learned Making
Photography: Classic image photography Makeup: Camellia Maalouf, Camellia Cosmetics Granger
The September Issue
Love
Right Now! 1. Sunflowers 2. Indian Summer Weather
1.
The majority of Indiana moms are formula-feeding their babies by six months. Find out how you can save a little extra cash on page 12.
3. The Crock Pot 4. Pumpkin Spice Anything
2.
Getting crafty with your kids doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. Try these six crafty shortcuts on page 10 to add a little fun in your day.
3.
Stop bullying yourself. Check out our Dear Mom column on page 30.
5. Creative Window Treatments 6. Organized Chaos 7. Nurturing Teachers 8. ND Spirit Wear
4.
Constantly worrying will hinder your life. Learn how to enjoy life without all the negativity on page 36.
5.
Enjoy the outdoors this fall. Visit these fun fall family places this year on page 28.
9. Hayrides 10. Shiny Metallic Home Decor 11. Grey 12. Hoodies 13. Season Premiers 14. The iPhone
6.
Parental conflict can be fixed with proper communication. Try these key tips on how to avoid an argument with your spouse on page 32.
7.
All expectant mothers had their “I-had-no-idea” moments. Get the Real Moms’ Guide to Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond on page 24.
8.
Reading will help keep you and your kids mind active. Check out our book reviews on page 38. 4
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
SEPTEM BER
Check it Out! Don
’t forget to pick up your copy of the NEW SASS Y Magazine!
GOING
N O27
SK DEEIN P RESIDENT Dr. Holly Harris, AND IN-HOM DERMATOLOG IST E WIFE AND MOM
Staying
Fit
GO
WHILE ON
THE
FALL
HOBBIE
You Can Fit
Into Your
S
Busy Sched
ule
Enjoy
The Fa
ll Harve
WINESst
2014
4Keeps
By: Casey Kiel
Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com
VIP
September
ADVERTISERS
Special THANKS to the following VIP September advertisers that help us provide The Family Magazine to the Michiana community for FREE: Afdent McDonalds
Testimonials From Our Readers “I found my 8-year-old daughter reading FAMILY Magazine by herself. This magazine is great for all family members.” – Kayla R.
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“I love the Centerfold Calendar in FAMILY Magazine. It is always full of fun events that my family and I can do.” – Jaclyn B.
Menno Travel HealthWorks!
We'd LOVE to hear from you! contact: The FAMILY Magazines
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
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the FAMILY magazine SPECIAL SECTION:
Of
table
Fall Family Fun
28 Fresh Fall Family Fun Ideas In Michiana By: Noelle Elliott
contents 16 Live Your Best 4 8 Things We Learned Making This Issue 4 Things We Love Right Now 5 Reader Testimonials 5 4Keeps Comic 7 Contributors 8 The FAMILY Month Calendar 20 Centerfold Calendar
Family Fun
Family Kids
12 5 Ways To Save On Formula By: Allison Boelcke
14 Has Your Child Taken The D.A.R.E.? By: Jessica Haviland
16 Cut To The Chase: Homework Strategies That Work
Mommy and Daddy
30 Dear Mom, Stop The SelfBullying
By: Meagan Church
32 Learn To Solve Parental Conflicts
By: Kristine Smith
34 The New Mom On The Block By: Titilayo Akhigbe
36 Does Worrying Help Or Hinder Your Life By: Noelle Elliott
By: Gayla Grace
18 September Is National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month By: Alexa Bigwarfe
23 Lice Lessons: What To Do When They Visit Your Home By: Ruth Hanley
10 6 Crafty Shortcuts For Busy Parents By: Michelle L. Shirk, J.D.
Family Recipe
7 Mini Banana Beignets
Movie & Book Reviews
38 Book Review: Growing Up Brave
Family Pregnancy
24 Real Moms’ Guide To Pregnancy, Birth And Beyond By: Meagan Church
26 3 Pregnancy Complications You Need To Know By: Chaunie Bruise, RN, BSN
By Donna B. Pincus, PhD Reviewed By: Tina Emerick
38 Book Review: The Giver By Lois Lowry Reviewed By: Leland
39 Movie Review: Revisiting Prisoners!
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By: Cole Pollyea
FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
28
10
FAMILY contibutors
Noelle Elliott is a social media junkie, blogger, writer and career woman. She lives in South Bend with her husband, four young sons and two chocolate labs.
Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond
Michelle Shirk is a proud graduate of the University of Notre Dame Law School and longtime resident of Northwest Indiana. Michelle writes for a number of publications across the United States and also serves as Assistant Director for READ La Porte County, Inc., a non-profit organization that provides free tutoring to students of all ages.
Chaunie Brusie is a nurse, freelance writer and a young mom of three (soon to be four!). She lives in SE Michigan and is the author of Tiny Blue Lines: Reclaiming Your Life, Preparing For Your Baby, and Moving Forward in Faith in an Unplanned Pregnancy.
FAMILY recipe
mini
Banana Beignets Ingredients: • 2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil • 1 ½ Cups Cake Flour • 2 Teaspoons Baking Powder • ½ Teaspoon Salt • 1 ¼ Teaspoon Ground Cinnamon • 1/3 Cup Plus ½ Cup Sugar • 1 Egg • ½ Cup Milk • ½ Cup Mashed Bannana • ¼ Teaspoon Banana Extrac
Directions: 1. Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet until it reaches 375 degrees F. 2. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt cinnamon and sugar in a large bowl. 3. Then, whisk the egg, milk, mashed banana and two tablespoons vegetable oil in another bowl. Add the banana extract. 4. Combine the remaining ½ cup granulated sugar and one teaspoon cinnamon in a bowl and set aside. 5. Whisk the banana mixture into the dry ingredients until just moistened. 6. Drop teaspoon full dough into the hot oil and fry until golden brown; about 15 seconds per side.
Benefits of Bananas: According to MedicalNewsToday.com, the possible health benefits of consuming bananas include lowering the risks of cancer, asthma, lowering blood pressure, improving heart health and promoting regularity.
7. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels and roll them into the cinnamon sugar while warm.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
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The FAMILY Month Calendar 1
Niles Haunted House Scream Park, 8:00 P.M.
Grandparent’s Day
8
Labor Day
5
Fun Family Movie, 4:00 P.M., Elkhart Public Library
Goshen First Fridays, 5:00 P.M.
Babysitting With Confidence, 8:30 A.M., Lakeland Hospital, Watervliet
27-28
25
International Talk Like A Pirate Day
Family Drop-In Activities, 1:00 P.M., Wellfield Botanic Gardens
27
KIDZ BOP Kids-Dream Big, Sing Loud Tour, 3:00 P.M., The Lerner Theatre
19
13
Monthly Meditation Yoga, 5:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental Center
DTSB First Fridays, 5:00 P.M.
21
12 15
7
Michiana Pet Expo 11am - 4pm Saint Joseph County Fairgrounds
National Comic Book Day
Apple Festival Weekend, 1:00 P.M, Nappanee
1 2 3 4 6 9 10 11 14 16 17 18 20 22 23 24 26 29 30 M
Tu
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F
Sa
Su
M
Tu
W
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Sa
Su
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Tu
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F
Sa
Su
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Tu
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F
Sa
Su
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15 Fun Fall Activities For You And Your Kids
1. Apple Picking 2. Professional Football Game 3. Corn Mazes 4. Bake an Apple or Pumpkin Pie
Hot Apple Cider
5. Roasting Marshmallows Over a Bon Fires
Recipe
6. Fall Festivals 7. Make Your Own Scarecrow
Ingredients: • 6 Cups Apple Cider • ¼ Cup Maple Syrup • 2 Cinnamon Sticks • 6 Whole Cloves • 6 All Spice Berries • 1 Orange Peel Cut Into Strips • 1 Lemon Peel Cut Into Strips
8. Rake Leaves and Jump Into the Piles 9. Drive-in Movie Theatre 10. Bobbing for Apples 11. Make Carmel Apples 12. Visit the Zoo 13. Go on a Nature Walk 14. Plant Bulbs for Spring 15. Collect and Press Beautifully Colored Leaves
What we are Pinning:
Directions: Pour the apple cider and maple syrup into a large saucepan. Put cinnamon sticks, cloves, berries, orange and lemon peels in the center of a washed square of cheesecloth and tip up with a kitchen string. Drop the spice bundle into a cider mixture and heat for five to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and discard the spice bundle. ENJOY!
Saint Vincent De Paul Opening New Store
Apple Crisp
www.afamilyfeast.com
8
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Fall Children Outfits www.bloglovin.com
FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
Fall Time Decor www.etsy.com
The St. Vincent de Paul Society of St. Joseph County has opened a new retail store on Western Avenue in South Bend located in the Belleville Plaza. The Center for the Homeless has partnered with St. Vincent de Paul to work in the store as part of an externship program to help develop work skills for the future. This store is expected to open in mid-September.
Brought to you by The FAMILY Magazines Saturday October 25th, 2014 10:00 AM – 2:00 PM The Century Center, South Bend
Enter to win a set of Dental Bra ces! Sponsore d by Afdent D ental.
Check out how much fun we had last year!
Fun w ith Ro nald!
! ns o o all
t B
a Ne r pe
Su
The premier, one-stop-shop for moms to find fantastic parenting resources from daycares, to camps and afterschool activities, to wellness ... And much more! The Kids Expo has it all!
It's all about the kids! Fun activities will keep them entertained all day long! THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
9
FAMILY fun
6 L
Crafty Shortcuts for Busy Parents By: Michelle L. Shirk, J.D.
ooking for ways to entertain your little ones during fall’s cool or rainy days? While it can be fun to admire elaborate craft ideas posted online, keep in
mind that family art projects don’t need to be complicated or expensive. If you find yourself lacking the time, money or artistic ability to prepare and assemble Pinterest-worthy crafts with your kids, stock up on these easy and affordable alternatives instead.
1.
“Plussed” Coloring Books – If your kids are tired of their basic coloring books, try one of the enhanced versions currently on the market. Some books now come with stickers, allowing your little artist to add a special touch to her finished works. Paint-with-water books combine paper, paint and often even a brush all in one convenient package. For older kids (or adults!) looking for a unique coloring experience, check out Dover Publication’s (store.doverpublications.com) line of gorgeous stained glass coloring books.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
3.
Play-Doh – Ahhh, Play-Doh, the craft material that keeps on giving. Turn your kids loose with a few colors and a hard surface and see what kind of sculptures emerge. While Play-Doh is reusable, it’s also relatively inexpensive – around $6.50 for a case of 10 colors on Amazon.com. That means if your child can’t bear to part with his multi-building model of downtown Chicago, it’s not that big of a deal to let it sit around to be admired for a few days.
2.
Preassembled Craft Kits – Purchasing the materials needed for a complicated craft project can be both costly and time-consuming. Alex Toys (www. alextoys.com) takes the prep work out of crafting with its extensive line of craft kits for a wide range of ages. Each kit contains all the necessary components to make the crafts pictured on the box. For preschoolers, choose from themes like “My Sticker Art,” “My First Mosaic,” “Clothespin Farm” and more. Older kids can create jewelry, origami and room décor.
6.
4.
Community Crafting Events – Enjoy a fun, free morning or afternoon of crafting with absolutely no preparation or cleanup! Sound too good to be true? Many libraries offer occasional or regular crafting events geared toward families, often in conjunction with a story time. You can also check with your local parks department, community center or public garden for similar offerings. Even some home improvement stores offer kids an opportunity to create in a safe environment. Learn about Lowe’s Kids Clinics at www.lowesbuildandgrow.com and Home Depot’s Kids Workshops at workshops. homedepot.com/workshops/kids-workshops.
5.
Kiwi Crate – These days, there are delivery services for everything from food to movies to fashion, and crafts are no exception! Signing up for a Kiwi Crate (www. kiwicrate.com) subscription brings a themed box of art supplies to your door each month. Past themes have included “Dig Into Dinosaurs,” “Colorful Inspiration” and “Growing Gardens.” The crates are designed for children ages 3-7 and provide enough materials for two or three different activities, many of which involve art. Single child subscriptions cost between $16.95 and $19.95 per month, with shipping included in the price.
Collages – In search of completely free way to create? Let the kids turn old magazines and catalogs into a work of art. Little ones can practice their cutting and gluing skills, while older ones can create scenes and themed collages. All you need is a glue stick.
As you can see, there are many resources available to help families create together with ease. Take advantage of these artsy alternatives to complicated crafting and use the precious moments you save to make some fabulous memories with your kids!
eeny
meeny
miny
Feel-good choices in your Happy Meal. ®
@McD_NorthernIND Available at participating McDonald’s ®. © 2014 McDonald’s. Yoplait and Go-GURT are registered trademarks of YOPLAIT MARQUES (France) used under license.
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FAMILY kids
5to SaveWays On Formula By: Allison Boelcke
As expectant mothers, we may have visions in our head of feeding times that consist of gazing lovingly at our baby while they suckle. Fast forward to the real world and physical issues or circumstances may have you turning to formula for feeding your baby. You're not alone! According to the most recent breastfeeding data from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the majority of Indiana moms (around 60%) are formula-feeding their babies by six months. With the average cost of formula at around $25 for a week’s supply, the family’s food budget may suddenly skyrocket; however, there are ways for all you savvy moms out there to save on baby formula and keep both your baby and your bank account happy and healthy.
Pediatrician Samples
Avoid throwing away money during the trial and error period of finding the formula that doesn’t upset your baby’s tummy. Your baby’s pediatrician is there to help your baby be as healthy as possible. If you’re trying to find a formula that works best, rather than continually wasting money on products that doesn’t settle well with your baby and have to be discarded, ask the pediatrician’s office if there are any samples available. This can be especially helpful if your baby requires a specialty formula instead of the standard milkbased powder. Besides helping you narrow down what your baby needs, formula samples are not skimpy and are often enough to feed your baby for half the week or more.
Company Loyalty Programs
You have so many options on what to feed your baby - it’s a competitive market out there and formula manufacturers know it. Make that work for you by taking advantage of the many incentives offered by formula companies. Visit the websites of your preferred formula companies and sign up to be a member of their programs. Not only will this typically result in you receiving regular coupons and special offers, but some companies even send welcome packages with assortments of samples of their different products. 12
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
Store Purchase Rewards
Wherever you shop for your baby’s formula, ask if that store offers any type of rewards programs. Just like with formula companies, mass merchandisers know that moms are major purchasers and want to compete for your business. Some examples include: • Meijer’s mPerks Baby Rewards – Receive one credit for every $100 you spend on baby purchases, including formula. For every credit you earn, you receive $10 off your purchase. • Babies “R” Us Rewards “R” Us Program – Receive one point per dollar spent. Once you reach 500 points, earn $5 in rewards. Formula costs add up, which in turn makes rewards add up.
Digital Coupons
When you’re taking care of a baby, sometimes you’re so busy that things like remembering to grab your clipped coupons just fall by the wayside. That’s exactly why digital coupons can be such a helpful tool for moms to save on formula. Typically, many stores that have loyalty cards that are required to receive sale prices will also have special digital coupons on their website that you can load to your account. So if you find a great coupon for formula, you just add it to your card and when you check out it’s automatically deducted – all without requiring you to even remember you had it in the first place.
Insurance Coverage
If your baby requires special formula due to a diagnosed condition, your insurance coverage may be able to relieve some of the cost if your baby’s pediatrician writes a prescription. Obviously this will vary widely depending on your particular coverage, but it doesn’t hurt to check. Even if your insurance does not cover it, the formula may be considered an eligible item for health insurance Flexible Spending Accounts, which would allow you to use your pretax dollars to buy it.
Baby formula can be a major expense, but with just a little bit of research and effort, you can make sure it work for both your baby’s physical and your family’s financial health. THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
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FAMILY kids
By: Jessica Haviland
Has Your Child Taken The D.A.R.E.?
I
t’s never too early to teach your kids about drug and alcohol abuse but having that type of conversation can be difficult to have with your kids. That is why the D.A.R.E. Program in your children’s schools are there to help you out! But, did you know that your local D.A.R.E. Program teaches your kids more than just staying away from drugs and alcohol? Lt. Tim Williams, D.A.R.E. Instructor, SRO and PIO for the Mishawaka Police Department says that this program is to help encourage children to live a more healthy and safe lifestyle. “I think it’s very important because it is not only about saying no to drugs but it shows kids how to live a healthier lifestyle,” he said.
What Exactly Is The D.A.R.E. Program?
No parent can over communicate with their child regarding substance abuse. “A parent’s worst nightmare is hearing a police officer come to their door and say that their child has died from an alcohol related crash or drug related overdose,” Lt. Williams said. Communication is highly important for parents to help educate their children starting at a young age.
How Can Parents Get Involved?
Have an interest in wanting to take part in the D.A.R.E. Program at your child’s school? Now is your chance! “We have to rely on public donations and fundraising events,” said Lt. Williams. “That is how we keep this program in the schools.”
According to dare.org, this program was funded in 1983 in Los Angeles and has now been applied to 75 percent of our nation’s schools. The D.A.R.E. Program is even implemented in 43 countries worldwide.
Contact your local D.A.R.E. Instructor or police department and ask how you can take part in this program. Taking an active role your child’s life will help benefit them in the future.
Each year, children in grades 5th and 6th will take part in a 17 week long course for 45 minutes each week. “Recently the program has been revamped and reduced to 10 lessons,” said Lt. Williams. “We are here to teach children how to resist peer pressure and live a drug and violence free life.”
Even though parents have a choice to let their child take part in the D.A.R.E. Program, Lt. Williams feels that each parent will see how beneficial it is for their child’s life. So, the real question to ask you and your kids are, “Have you taken the D.A.R.E.?”
For more information regarding the 10 lessons, please see sidebar.
What Should Parents Expect From The Program?
This program will take students on a journey to learn about gateway drugs, dealing with stress, bullying, peer pressure and so much more. “We chose 5th and 6th grade because their brains are at the developmental stage,” Lt. Williams said. “It’s a good time to give them the extra knowledge.” One major change that this generation’s D.A.R.E. Program has made is a direct focus on peer pressure. “We see that children at a younger age are experiencing more peer pressure because of social media,” Lt. Williams said. “Our goal is to make sure they aren’t alone and that there are people out there that do care about them and want them to be safe.”
How Can Parents Educate Their Children?
Even though the D.A.R.E. Program is currently available for 5th and 6th graders, Lt. Williams strongly encourages all parents to communicate before, during and after the program. “If parents see something in the news relating to a drunk driving crash or violent crimes that happen nearby, it’s important to point out to their children the negative side of these situations and how to avoid them,” he said. 14
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“This program is to help encourage children to live a more healthy and safe lifestyle.”
Logo courtesy: www.dare.org
Quick Breakdown of D.A.R.E. Program’s 10 Lessons Lesson 1: Definition of Being Responsible In this lesson, students will learn how to not only be responsible for themselves but also for their lives and their fellow students. Lesson 2: Making a Decision This is where students will ask themselves “Should I do this for my friends or shouldn’t I?” “This will make them stop and see if they are making a correct decision and reassess what they should do,” Lt. Williams said. Lesson 3: Risk & Consequences They will learn about choices that they have made or about to make and what positive and negative consequences would feel like. This is where they will learn about good risks and bad risks. Lesson 4: Gateway Drugs & Peer Pressure In this lesson, students will learn about the two main gateway drugs: alcohol and tobacco. Also, students will learn about the different levels of peer pressure and how to deal with them. “Along with learning about peer pressure, they will also learn about resistance strategies,” Lt. Williams said.
Lesson 8: Bullying Bullying has been a hot topic throughout the United States where parents, teachers and students are all standing together to fight. In this lesson, students will learn the four forms of bullying and how to react to those situations in a positive way. Lesson 9: Reporting Safely Some students may be scared to report any negative behavior to authorities. “Here, they will learn what a good citizen is and how they can act responsibly,” Lt. Williams said. “We want them to know that they can stand up to a bully.” Lesson 10: Support Networks This is where students will learn who they can go to for protection and guidance when needed. They will fill out a worksheet to list their support networks for future references.
Lesson 5: Stress Students will learn about the actual signs of feeling overwhelmed and stressed. “What we want them to do is to stop, count to five and slow things down,” Lt. Williams said. “Sometimes kids get into trouble because they act right away and not think before they act.” Lesson 6: Communication Here, they will learn how to express their thoughts in a positive way. They will learn three response styles on how to communicate more efficiently. Lesson 7: Non-Verbal Communication Saying something positive should also reflect your non-verbal behavior as well. Students will learn what their non-verbal communication is saying. “One of the biggest things that we really don’t see that often in today’s schools is empathy,” said Lt. Williams. “We have added empathy into this lesson to help try and put students in another person’s shoes and understand how they feel.”
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FAMILY kids
Cut to the Chase: Homework Strategies That Work
By: Gayla Grace
A
s I overheard a conversation with a parent discussing her child's routine and the late hour the child completed her homework the night before, I thought about how easily we allow our kids to slip into procrastinating habits that result in disastrous consequences. Instead of encouraging behavior toward meeting their responsibilities, we allow distracted effort or inaction.
If we teach our kids to overcome the temptation of procrastinating, we give them a valuable skill that reaches into adulthood. Here are a few tips to help your child complete required tasks without procrastinating:
Determine your child's most productive period.
Sometimes parents insist their children complete their homework immediately upon arriving home from school. However, it might not be the most productive time for your child, which encourages procrastinating their best effort. Talk with your child about how they feel when he comes home from school. Do they need a snack break? Do they want to shoot the basketball first? Do they want to immediately start their required tasks at home to allow more time to play later without having to think about the chores or homework that must be done? Be clear with your expectations. If your child doesn't immediately start their task, make sure they understand why they are allowed a break (so he will be more productive later) and how much time they has before they must begin the task.
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Consider the "why." Is there a legitimate reason your child
hasn't started their assignment? Do they have the resources they need? Is there a clear goal in mind? Do they need some organizational help to get started? Do they have a quiet place to work? Every child has different needs, and as parents, we help our children succeed when we provide them with what they need to accomplish the task at hand. That doesn't mean we dive in and tackle the assignment with them, but it might mean we take them to the store to buy necessary supplies to get started.
Break it down. It's easy to procrastinate a task that appears overwhelming. Our son had an assignment recently that required multiple tasks to complete the finished product. When he looked at the project all at once, he became overwhelmed with the amount of work to do. But as I helped him put together a step-by-step outline to proceed to the goal, it empowered him to tackle the assignment. Placing large projects into smaller assignments makes them more manageable to complete and thus, less likely to be procrastinated.
Discourage perfectionism. Striving for perfection on every assignment and every test leads to stress and encourages procrastinating habits. When a child thinks they must make a 100 on his assignment, they will have less motivation to even begin the assignment. Be realistic with your expectations, particularly in the early years as children are adjusting to new routines. We want our kids to enjoy school and the privilege of learning, not labor over perfect grades. Set a timer when necessary. When our son is having a
hard time settling in to work on an assignment, we determine together how long he must sit and work and then set a timer. When he knows he gets a break after a predetermined time, he more easily commits to beginning the work. A timer is a great tool to help kids develop consistent study habits as they get older and need to commit to longer periods of study.
Maintain a balanced routine.
If we allow our kids to participate in every sport, music, drama and school activity that occurs, we create an unmanageable schedule with little time left over for responsibilities at home. When our children can't visualize the satisfaction of completing a task when they begin, it's likely they won't want to start. So, ask your children what activities interest them most and prioritize their desires to create a schedule that allows time for starting and completing other tasks as well. Rearrange the schedule as necessary to maintain balance.
Model good habits.
Avoid procrastination in your everyday routine. Our children are watching us and will emulate what we do. I love the poem by Edgar Guest that captures the importance of example. Here's a portion of it; "I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day. I'd rather one should walk with me than merely show the way. The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear. Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear." If we want to raise young adults who will avoid procrastination, we must avoid it ourselves.
Procrastinating habits become harder to break the longer they're practiced. But, through intentional effort, we can teach our children to avoid the pitfalls of procrastination.
“
Every child has different needs, and as
parents, we help our children succeed when we provide them with what they need to accomplish the task at hand.
�
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FAMILY kids
September is
National
Childhood Obesity
Awareness
Month Resources for
Activities and Programs
S
By: Alexa Bigwarfe
eptember was declared “National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month” by the White House in 2010. This is a month to not only bring awareness to the problem of obesity, but also encourage the nation to work together to implement plans, programs and activities to reduce obesity among children. Parents, teachers, health care providers and other civic organizations are all charged to be a part of this process.
We hear about our growing obesity rates in the United States on a daily basis, but are we really doing what needs to be done to fix it? Reports earlier in the year indicated that our country may have been making significant gains (perhaps losses!) in the battle against obesity, but later the Center for Disease Control and Prevention reported that, while there may be some decline, particularly in pre-school age children, the percent of children and teens who are extremely obese has actually increased. Obesity amongst children has become an epidemic, with more than 23 million obese or overweight children in America. That’s approximately one in three children. These children will face a lifetime of health issues if measures are not taken to get them healthy. Some of the associated risks include a higher chance for cardiovascular disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, bone and joint problems, higher risks for cancer, being the victim of bullying and other related mental health issues.
This is not just a personal problem. It’s a national crisis. And it is costly. Each obese child costs the healthcare
system about $19,000; a staggering $14 billion dollars a year in preventable health care costs.
So what do we do about it? Simply telling a child to “eat more fruits and vegetables” or “go play” is about as effective as saying “just go clean your room.” It takes a family and community focus on promoting healthy and active lifestyles to truly see changes. In September we band together in our community and fight this problem through awareness activities and programs.
Activities and Programs Resources for National Childhood Obesity Awareness Month: • Visit the WeCan! Website (http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/ health/educational/wecan/) –WeCan! stands for “Ways to Enhance Children’s Activity and Nutrition” – WeCan! has a free toolkit with items such as a television screen time log, ways for a family to become more active, information on portion sizes, healthy eating tips and recipes and information on sugars and fats. • Healthier Kids Brighter Futures (http://www. healthierkidsbrighterfutures.org/toolkit.pdf) also has a toolkit. • CDC website has a toolkit for professionals, families and community action programs. http://www.cdc.gov/obesity/ resources/multimedia.html
Suggested activities and ways to make a difference in your family:
UPLIFTING
1. Know what you are feeding your child. There is a lot of discussion about all of the chemicals and other processed materials in our packaged food that is likely leading to weight gain and other negative reactions. 2. Limit sugar. The amount of sugar in our diets is outrageous. Read labels and try to eliminate snacks with high sugar content. 3. Find ways to incorporate more fruits and vegetables at every meal. Offer fruits and veggies as a snack first, with junk foods after they’ve eating a healthy snack.
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4. Strive to be an “active family.” Take walks, nature hikes, make scavenger hunts or just play catch. Any activity is better than no activity.
Adult Classes
5. Limit television time. Maybe even implement a “no TV on school nights” rule. This will also help with getting more activity.
Kindermusik® with Amy Reinert
Tumbling
24615 C.R. 45, Suite 3 Elkhart, IN
574.295.4348
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K-12
Parents, in addition to implementing healthy habits, we have to be realistic and communicate with our pediatrician about healthy weight ranges for our children. Studies and reports indicate that the programs to reduce obesity are not being taken seriously in the home because many children and parents have a misperception about their weight. A study published in Maternal & Child Nutrition in 2013 reported that 62% of parents with an obese child believed their child was a healthy weight. The CDC further reported that about 30% of obese children and teens in the United States believe their weight is normal. We must be better educated about what is truly a healthy weight in order to help our children. The good news is that all of these health issues are reversible with a change in diet and lifestyle. As with so many things, good habits start in the home and it’s really important that parents take the lead on these programs to make them successful.
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888-850-MATH Mathnasium.com/Granger Heritage Square THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
19
7
Day
Grandparent’s
Sunday
Monthly Meditation Yoga,
5:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental Center
8
Wednesday
Thursday
9
2
National Teddy Bear Day
Fun Fact: In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
6:00 P.M., St. Patrick’s County Parks
Son Archery,
10
– William Cullen Bryant
“Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile.”
3
10:00 A.M., Bendix Woods County Park
Fall Home School Program: Trees are Terrific!,
11
10:30 A.M., Peace Lutheran School
God’s Time for Little Ones Bible Story Hour,
4
Labor Day
1
Tuesday
Friday
Saturday
8:00 P.M., Niles, MI
Niles Haunted House Scream Park Opens,
12
5:00 P.M.
First Fridays Downtown Goshen,
5:00 P.M.
First Fridays DTSB,
5
~ Jarod Kintz
1:00 P.M., Wellfield Botanic Gardens
Family Drop-In Activities,
9:15 A.M., Wellfield Botanic Gardens
Yoga in the Gardens,
13
4:00 P.M., Potawatomi Zoo
Zoo Brew,
7:30 P.M., Notre Dame
ND vs Michigan,
12:00 P.M., Lemon Creek Winery
Lemon Creek Winery’s 18th Annual Harvest Festival,
6
“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red.”
Monday
2014
September
Scan this QR Code to get connected to our online calendar at MichianaMom.com!
Want to check out even more things to do in Michiana?
5
Do Something Nice Day
11:00 A.M. – 4:00 P.M. Saint Joseph County Fairgrounds
Michiana Pet Expo
28
3:00 P.M., The Lerner Theatre
KIDZ BOP Kids-Dream Big, Sing Loud Tour,
21
1:00 P.M., Nappanee
Apple Festival,
10:00 A.M., South Bend
Bazaar Sunday at The State,
14
1:00 P.M., Nappanee
– L.M. Montgomery
“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
6
– John Donne
“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace as I have seen in one autumnal face.”
29
– Emily Bronte
“Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.”
22
Apple Festival,
15
6:00 P.M., Wellfield Botanic Gardens
Recycled Wind Chimes Workshop,
30
7:00 P.M., Elkhart Central High School Auditorium
Fall Choral Concert,
Fun Fact: Diet Coke was only invented in 1982.
Fun Fact: Cats sleep 16 to 18 hours per day.
8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre
Plain and Fancy,
23
7
1:00 P.M., Nappanee
Apple Festival,
16
11:00 A.M., Center For Outpatient Services, St. Joseph, MI
Breastfeeding Support Group,
8
Julie Andrew’s 79th Birthday
OCT 1
Fun Fact: On average, there are 178 sesame seeds on each McDonalds BigMac bun.
24
7:30 P.M., South Bend Civic Theatre
SBCT Presents Avenue Q,
7:30 p.m. Washington Hall, Notre Dame
18
19
10:00 A.M., Bendix Woods County Park
Fun Fact: The word “nerd” was first coined by Dr. Seuss in “If I Ran the Zoo.”
Comic Book Day
National
Fall Home School Program: Leaves Are Lovely!,
9
2
25
6:00 P.M., Better World Books, Goshen
Just for Teens (At the Bookstore!),
6:00 P.M., Marian High School
Marian High School 50th Anniversary Celebrations,
10
5:00 P.M.
Goshen First Friday,
5:00 P.M.
Downtown South Bend First Friday,
3
Fun Fact: The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing their hands in jelly.
26
Much Ado About Nothing - Actors From Th e London Stage
17
3:30 P.M., Notre Dame
ND vs North Carolina
8:00 A.M., Amish Acres Historical Farmstead & Heritage Resort
4th Annual Amish Acres Corvette Rally,
3:30 P.M., Notre Dame
ND vs Stanford,
8:30 A.M., Riverview Park, St. Joseph, MI
Fit 4 Fall 5K Run/Walk,
11
4
TBA, East Rutherford, N.J.
ND vs Syracuse,
7:30 P.M., The Lerner Theatre
Music Takes Flight,
8:30 A.M., Lakeland Hospital, Watervliet
Babysitting with Confidence,
27
8:00 A.M., Toscana Park, Granger
Park Fitness Field Day,
20
7:30 P.M., Indianapolis
ND vs Purdue,
1:00 P.M., Nappanee
Apple Festival,
FAMILY kids
Lice Lessons: What to Do When They Visit
YOUR Home By: Ruth Hanley
Parents dread getting that note from school or a text from another mother that a classmate has lice. They cautiously give their kid’s hair a quick search, find one and panic. Memories of childhood experiences make us recall the myths and stigma about lice. Lice are not a sign of a dirty house or a dirty child and can happen to anyone. In fact, six to twelve million school aged children are treated for lice each year. Mary Spryer, mom of two says, “We all seem to equate it with cleanliness, but really, it's more like catching the flu or a cold from someone.” The way to ease the panic caused by this minuscule menace is to equip yourself with a good plan so that you’ll be ready when necessary.
Keep Calm And Buy The Shampoo
Head lice are common among children three to twelve years of age, though children as young as two months old can be treated with an over-the-counter lice shampoo. If you are pregnant or have a child younger than two months old, consult your doctor about other available treatments. Over the counter shampoo treatments usually contain only one percent Permethrin solution, which is enough to be neurotoxic to lice, but very mild to humans. Home remedies abound on blogs and websites, but they are not recommended for use alone. Dr. Roberta Winch, pediatrician at Pediatric Associates in Sammamish, Washington found that mayonnaise helped her pick the nits out of her child’s long, thick hair but she recommends using a lice shampoo to kill the live lice first.
Get Comfortable With A Comb
There is a reason that nit-picking means being excessively concerned with small details. Nits are small white lice eggs that are teardrop shaped and stick to one side of the hair shaft. A louse is light brown and can be as tiny as a carrot seed. Lots of debris can get stuck in your child’s hair and look like lice: food, flakes of dry skin, dirt or plant matter. However, lice move and nits cling to the hair shaft and are hard to remove. If you can flick or blow it away, it’s not a nit. Use a spray bottle of water or detangling solution to wet-comb your child’s hair with a fine-toothed lice comb. Wipe your comb on a paper towel and check for nits on the towel. Continue each day until you no longer find nits as you comb. Letting your child watch a movie, read a book or play a handheld gaming device will help them sit still.
You’re Going To Do A Lot Of Laundry
Wash and dry clothing, bedding and stuffed animals on the hottest setting you can. Vacuum mattresses and the surfaces of furniture and floors in your house and wash sheets frequently for the next few weeks. Store items that can’t be washed in garbage bags that are closed up and set aside for two weeks. Dr. Winch says, “Adult lice can survive up to 55 hours without a host and eggs can hatch up to 10 days later. It takes 12 days for a newly hatched egg to become an adult.” Cleaning and doing laundry can seem overwhelming, but don’t assume you’re surrounded by these nefarious creatures. Head lice crawl, rather than hop or fly and are not transmittable to or from your pets. Also, according to American Academy of Pediatrics, unless there is a heavy infestation, a louse isn't likely to wander off a person’s head because as soon as they do, they start to die of starvation.
An Ounce Of Prevention…
Check your child’s hair once a week for lice or nits. Lice Knowing You, a lice removal chain on the West Coast has the motto, “Take a peek once a week.” If you find one in your weekly search, you’ll likely catch it early and have a milder case. Remind your child not to share helmets, hair bands, brushes or hats. It is also helpful to use a lice-repellent detangling solution on your child’s hair and keep it in a ponytail or braid for school and camp. Ultimately, educating yourself about how to look for lice and checking regularly are the best ways to avoid getting lice. Tara Clark, a mom of two girls says, “Talk to friends with children of a similar age and you will learn that everybody deals with it. It helps to know you aren't the only one.” Take it from moms who have been there.
Let’s get real about lice. When they show up at your house, it’s not the end of the world. Things will get better, but first you’ll have a lot of laundry to do! THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
23
FAMILY pregnancy
Real Moms’
Guide
to
Pregnancy, Birth and Beyond
P
By: Meagan Church
regnancy and birth can be magical times in a woman’s journey to motherhood. But, let’s face it, they can also be pretty crazy, bizarre and, if we’re really honest, even scary. Many moms find themselves experiencing things they never knew possible. I like to call these their “I-had-no-idea moments.” Expectant moms can read as many books as they like and Google into the wee hours of the night, but they can still find themselves lost and confused. We are constantly surrounded by women who have been pregnant and birthed babies, so instead of turning to a book or a search engine, I asked local moms what moments caught them most off guard and what they wished they would’ve known before becoming mothers for the first time. Their honest responses are a real moms’ guide to pregnancy, birth and beyond.
While you may never have all the answers or be completely prepared for the journey ahead, perhaps your greatest resource is the mothers around you.
Pregnancy isn’t always great.
Remember how I said pregnancy can be magical? Tiffaney Inks, who is pregnant with her first child, hasn’t found that to be the case at all. “I don’t like being pregnant and at first I didn’t like to admit it because most people talk about how they love being pregnant,” she said. “Pregnancy is different for everyone and just because you don’t enjoy it, it doesn't mean you are going to be a bad mom or anything. I felt like that at first.”
You’re not a failure if you don’t go natural.
For Joanna Azar, she had hoped for a natural birth, but when the labor pains set in, she changed her mind. She wished she would’ve known that “you aren't a failure at giving birth if you get the drugs. I have tried to do it without, and I couldn't, but I was surrounded by many who could.”
If you want support, hire a doula.
New moms can face a lot of uncertainty when it comes to birth, and they often assume that hospital staff will constantly surround them as they labor and await their baby’s arrival. The truth is that many doctors only arrive at the end, and nurses come and go throughout labor. “For my first, for some reason I thought there would be a nurse in my room during labor,” said Nicole Cox. “Instead she only made an appearance to check vitals or if there was a problem with a monitor. It ended up just being my husband and my doula. I’m so very thankful we hired a doula three weeks before I gave birth! She was incredible and brought so much peace to our first birth.”
You will deliver more than just a baby.
While pregnancy can be nine months of ups and downs, labor can be a few hours or even a few days of twists, turns and new experiences. 24
THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
Kristina Marie was a young mom when she had her first baby. She read a lot and talked to other moms, so she could have an informed birth. “I had a plan. I knew what I wanted and I made it happen,” she recalled. “That being said, no one ever told me you have to push out the placenta. Um, what? It should just fall out after all that, right?” When Kristina’s midwife asked her to push again after her child was born, she thought for a minute that she was having twins. Even with all the research she had done before going into labor, she hadn’t realized what all would happen during birth, and that there is a third stage of labor that takes place after the baby is born.
all about her now!’ I was so mad that no one warned me about how much pain I'd be in for the first few weeks that would inhibit me from doing everything I wanted to do.” From the first moments of pregnancy to breastfeeding and recovery, new moms have a lot to learn. While you may never have all the answers or be completely prepared for the journey ahead, perhaps your greatest resource is the mothers around you. Ask them questions. Hear their birth stories. Get them to talk about their “I-had-no-idea moments.” Learn from them, laugh with them and maybe even shed a few tears with them, while you’re at it.
Breastfeeding requires forethought.
Once labor ends, the new questions don’t stop coming, especially if you plan to breastfeed. Breastfeeding may be natural, but it’s not always easy at the beginning. Dawn Green wished she would’ve known that breastfeeding requires planning ahead. “Become familiar with the breast pump before you need it. Take it out and hook up all of the hoses. Be sure to scope out places to pump at your workplace or school before you need one. I had to find a bathroom at an older building at a local university way down in a basement. It was kind of creepy.”
Recovery takes time.
Perhaps the most difficult time for a new mom is the recovery, especially after the visitors have left and they are home alone with the new baby. Giving birth is a marathon that a woman needs to recover from, especially if she required stitches or had a C-section. “Everyone talked so much about pregnancy and labor and delivery, but no one warned me about the intense recovery process,” Kristin Baker said. “I kept thinking ‘She's here now. I just want to enjoy her and forget about me now. All the weirdness with me is supposed to be over! It should be
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
25
FAMILY pregnancy
By: Chaunie Marie Brusie, RN, BSN
P
regnancy can be one of the most wonderful times in a woman’s life — and it can also be one of the most challenging. From the unknown of a baby’s health to the questions that lay beyond into the postpartum stage, there are a lot of “what ifs” in pregnancy. To help ease your mind, be prepared by updating yourself on some of the lesserknown complications that can occur during pregnancy and what you can do to manage them.
Cord Prolapse What it is: A cord prolapse occurs when your water breaks and a section of
your baby’s umbilical cord comes out through the cervix and vaginal opening first— before your baby or right alongside of it. Contemporary OB/GYN estimates that cord prolapse only occurs in about 1.4 to 6.2 per 1000 pregnancies, but it’s an emergency situation because the cord can be pinched off by the baby’s head or presenting part and basically cut off all circulation to your baby, placing him or her at risk for complications or death.
What to expect: If you suspect you have a cord prolapse at home, immediately call 911 and get in a hands and knee position to relieve pressure off of the cord. If you are in the hospital, call for help immediately and prepare yourself for an immediate emergency C-section.
Polyhydramnios What it is: One of the more rare conditions of pregnancy, polyhydramnios only affects
about one percent of pregnancies, according to statistics from The Mayo Clinic. The condition is marked by higher-than-average levels of amniotic fluid in a woman. Normal amniotic fluid ranges from about 12-25 cm, so anything above 25 can be diagnosed as polyhydramnios. Risks from this condition include premature labor, premature rupture of the membranes (your water breaking early), cord prolapse, larger babies, breech babies and placental abruption.
What to expect: Women with polyhydramnios will have more frequent ultrasounds to rule out any underlying causes of the fluid increase, like birth defects in the baby. From there, expect strict monitoring, including weekly non-stress tests. Also be on the lookout for premature labor and report any contractions to your care provider. If your fluid levels continue to increase, an early induction may be warranted to ensure the health of your baby. 26
THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
Preeclampsia What it is: According to the Preeclampsia Foundation, preeclampsia is a condition that affects between 5–8% of all pregnancies and is a leading cause of both maternal and infant death worldwide. Although the risk is somewhat lower in the United States, the disorder is also on the rise; doctors speculate that the rising ages of U.S. mothers and increasing numbers of IVF pregnancies, both of which are risk factors of preeclampsia, may be part of the troubling increase.
Preeclampsia is characterized by high blood pressure (anything over 140/90) and other symptoms, such as protein in the urine, vision changes, and laboratory value changes in a woman’s body. It’s a condition that only occurs during pregnancy, and the only real “treatment” for it is the delivery of the baby. Preeclampsia is very severe and can affect nearly every vital organ in a mother’s body, and even lead to death for her and her baby.
What to expect: Pregnant women with preeclampsia will be strictly monitored during their pregnancies. You can most likely expect an early induction along with possible medications to control your blood pressure and reduce your risk of having a seizure.
Fall Into
SAVINGS Stock up on all your Fall & Winter gear at Once Upon A Child
Starting September 6th all Winter Gear will be on the Sales Floor Don’t forget to bring in your gently used clothing, toys and equipment & get cash on the spot to pay for your new Fall & Winter Gear!!
Elkhart Rd., Goshen (Near Dunlap area, by Walmart)
574.830.5332
Grape Rd., Mishawaka
(Located in Indian Ridge Plaza, near Sofa Select)
574.247.1099
M-Sat 10am-8pm • Sunday 12pm-6pm
All medication advice is for informational purposes only and should be verified with your care provider.
www.OUAC.com THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
27
Special Section Fall Family Fun
Fresh Fall Family
By: Noelle Elliott
Fun Ideas in Michiana Around this time of year you may feel that you have exhausted every possible idea in regards to family fun close to home. My husband was gone for six weeks for work this summer and by the second week of his absence, my sons were begging me to spare them from one more visit to the park. I had a lofty goal to visit every single park I could find. Who knew we have a ton of beautiful parks in Michiana? In an effort to make this summer fun, and to keep them from screen time, I came up with this list of fresh and budget friendly places to visit with your family:
Jollay Orchards
1850 Friday Road, Coloma, Michigan 49038 www.jollayorchards.com/ If you want to take a short day trip, head up to Jollay Orchards in Coloma Michigan. It is perfect for the Fall season. They are 45 minutes north of South Bend. It is the perfect day trip to get out of town on those busy football weekends. Jollay Orchards is exciting because they have so many activities for families. Which include rides, apple picking and an animal farm. As Halloween approaches, Jollay Orchards is filled with ghosts and goblins. Halloween Celebrations including pumpkin specials and special events at the Haunted House. In addition, the neighboring businesses are a bonus. Wine, additional in season produce, cider and a distillery!
Idle Hours Bookshop
212 South Michigan St. South Bend, IN www.idlehoursbookshop.com This is a hidden gem located in downtown South Bend. Every Friday they have story time at 4 PM with treats. They read a selected book and also make it educational. Older kids can enjoy searching through their store for unique kids books. 28
THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | September 2014
Purple Porch Co-op
123 N. Hill St. South Bend, IN www.purpleporchcoop.com Each Wednesday the Purple Porch has an outdoor Farmers’ market where you can meet many of the local food producers that provide the food for their store. They have freshly prepared food you can pick up and have dinner while you watch live music. The people are welcoming and it is fun to sit outside, eat dinner and make new friends.
Silverhawks Game
501 W South St, South Bend, IN 46601 silverhawks.com The newly renovated Four Winds Field at Coveleski has been through quite a change. Although we went for a baseball game we spent a small portion watching it with everything available for kids to do. Kids can run the bases after every game, play in the splash pad and playground. Bounce around in the Applebee’s Fun Zone, which is a land of inflatables. It is only $5 for the child to play all game long. Game tickets are inexpensive and can be purchased by calling 574-235-9988.
GYMNASTICS MICHIANA Athletic Development for all Sports The Hall of Heroes Museum
58005 17th St. Elkhart IN www.hallofheroesmuseum.com This is the world’s only superhero museum and it is right in Michiana! They have the entire 75-year history of Super Heroes in Comics, Toys, Film and Animation. Hall of Heroes is in a two-story replica of The Hall of Justice from the classic Super Friends cartoon. The museum itself is fun to visit and they also have special events like the Super Villain Haunted House. For more information visit their website.
Students as young as 1 1/2 years old Progressive program from recreation to competition Small class size Birthday parties Martial Arts Zumba (Kids/Adults) 3390 N. Home Street • Mishawaka • 574.256.0502
GymMichiana.com Heritage Square Fall Festival Saturday, October 18 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.
Dutch Creek Farm Animal Park
6225 N 1000 W. Shipshewana, IN 46565 (260) 768-7194 This park will not disappoint you. Your children can feed and pet the animals. Experience Domestic and Exotic animal's first-hand on a safari style wagon ride. There is also a great spot for picnics and an area for children to interact with baby and small animals that features slides that allow the children to slide both in and out of the fun.
Before planning your next family outing be sure to visit their webpage or call for business hours.
Enjoy a fun day filled with: Scarecrow making, hand-painted caricatures, & face painting!
facebook.com/HeritageSquare
ShopHeritageSq
Heritage Square • Mishawaka, IN Located on the Corner of State Road 23 & Main/Gumwood www.shopheritagesquare.com
THE
FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
29
FAMILY mommy & daddy
Dear Mom,
Stop the Self-Bullying By: Meagan Church
Dear Mom, Becoming a mom brings with it a plethora of changes. Our lives are no longer our own and our schedules are dependent on other peoples. We no longer sleep whenever we wish, our bathroom trips are rarely private or uninterrupted and the priorities of our thoughts take a radical shift. And our bodies? Well, if you ever need a reminder that you have carried, birthed and breastfed a baby, just go swimsuit shopping, right? The thing is, if you’re like me, you were probably discontent with your body before babies. I remember before I had kids I was self conscious of my stomach. Regardless of the number on the scale, I felt I had a pooch that needed to be disguised and camouflaged. After carrying three babies, I now realize I had no idea what a soft stomach really looked like. I shake my head at that young and insecure version of myself, especially when I’m standing in a dressing room, trying to find a pair of jeans that hugs the right contours and hides the others. It doesn’t help that as we adjust to our new bodies and work through how we feel about our constantly changing selves that are staring back at us from the mirror, we are faced with an onslaught of airbrushed perfection. But, it also doesn’t help that as we stand in front of that mirror, words like these come to mind: Fat. Soft. Overweight. Thick. Plump. Flabby. Hippy. Muffin top. Thunder thighs. Disgusting.
Now be honest; how many of those words have you thought about yourself? And how many other hateful words have come to mind? But how many of those words would you say about your best friend? Let me take it a step further; how many of those things would you say to your child? Would you teach your daughter to look at herself in the mirror and call herself those names? The thing is, they learn by example. So, if we wouldn’t say those words to others, why would we say them to ourselves? Our bodies aren’t the same as before we had children, but fat talk and self-bullying aren’t going to help the situation. I know I’m not alone in my struggles to accept my new shape. I’m not alone in my desire to lose the pooch. But here’s the thing; that pooch shouldn’t be viewed with disdain. It should be seen as a medal of honor. My body grew, carried, birthed and nourished three lives. How awesome is that?! Instead of being ashamed of my softened shape, I should be proud of the story it has to tell. We all should be proud of what our bodies have done.
“Let’s set a positive example for our children who, like
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Friday,
it or not, are watching our example. Let’s see our bodies as trophies of accomplishment because that’s what they are.”
September 19, 7pm
to Saturday, September 20, 7pm
Bendix Woods County Park New Carlisle, In.
So all you moms out there, I know your struggles. I know the self-talk you’ve used. I know things aren’t as firm as they once were, even if they didn’t seem “firm” before having kids. And, I know you probably have a few battle wounds, scars and stretch marks to show for your efforts. But instead of being discouraged by them, let’s embrace the magic of what our bodies were created to do. Let’s stop bullying ourselves. Let’s embrace the battle wounds and scars that come with being a mother. Let’s set a positive example for our children who, like it or not, are watching our example. Let’s see our bodies as trophies of accomplishment because that’s what they are. Every curve, every scar, every ounce of ourselves is a story of accomplishment. It’s time we embrace it.
See Scientists in action as they identify and catalog the plants and animals which inhabit our natural areas.
You can join in, too! • Bat Netting • Bird Banding • Nighttime Moth Collecting • Live Birds of Prey
For more info: 574-654-3155 or sjcparks.org Festival entrance fee: $7/vehicle.
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FAMILY MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2014
31
FAMILY mommy & daddy
By: Kristine Smith
It is human nature that two human beings may have different ideas, opinions, values and priorities.
The wish of all children is that their parents do not disagree
with each other. However, naturally, there will be conflict somewhere along the way, and when that happens, solving the issue in a mature and productive way can prevent a negative impact on your child. It is human nature that two human beings may have different ideas, opinions, values and priorities. Part of being successful in a relationship with another person is being able to use appropriate communication skills so that ideas and opinions can be expressed and received with respect and differences of opinion can be worked out using healthy conflict resolution strategies. Chronic parental conflict can take place not only in intact families but also in families where parents have separated or divorced, or have never been married or lived together.
What are some key tips to solving parental conflicts?
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It is imperative that the parents recognize that parental conflict is not unusual and is directly related to their own childhood experiences. It can
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Prioritize the issue at hand. Agreeing on a bedtime for a five year old
be difficult to agree on the best way to raise a child but it is crucial that both parties exercise control over their emotions when the children are present or in hearing distance. Differences of opinion are natural and, regardless of whether the parents live together or apart, it is common for children to worry that they have to take sides in order to please both parents. Children become caught in the middle and may align with one parent against another. This can be very destructive and unhealthy for all family members as healthy children need to be allowed to develop a relationship with both parents notwithstanding of how the parent feel about each other. Communicate with your spouse or partner and talk about your differences when you are alone. may not be as important as agreeing on when a teenage girl can start wearing makeup or begin dating. In other words, pick your battles. Find ways to compromise. If your parenting views are not extremely different, there might be some middle ground you can find.
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Have clear boundaries with your child. The child is your child, not your
best friend or caregiver. It is common for the child to want to assist the parents in solving the conflict but it is up to the adults to ensure that the child remains in the child role while the adults take on the grown up tasks. When these boundaries become blurred, it creates an unhealthy household and impedes their development of healthy relationships with members of the opposite sex later on in life. In addition, the child views the adult as unable to control the situation and creates a feeling of insecurity and uncertainty.
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Make sure your child knows that the conflict and arguments are not his or her fault. If your child believes
that the fighting is about him or her, it will cause huge amounts of stress. Children find it easy to complain about and criticize their own parent, but find it very difficult to hear criticism of their parent coming from someone else, even if it is from the other parent. Children identify with both parents and should not have to feel guilty about loving each parent. Children may experience, either consciously or unconsciously, a parent saying negative things about the other parent as a personal attack which can affect their self-esteem. When there is conflict between parents, a child may feel like he or she has to align with one parent to gain approval from that parent. However, this comes at the expense of feeling guilty for abandoning or rejecting the other parent. It also unbalances a healthy family structure when one parent and child are aligned together against the other parent. Parents may have role-modeled inappropriate ways of dealing with anger when in conflict with each other. Since anger is a normal emotion that arises in all people, everyone, adults and children included needs to learn strategies to be able to express and control anger appropriately.
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Finally, if the conflicts that arise become increasingly unhealthy for all parties and involve emotional or physical abuse, professional help is needed immediately. Particularly in cases
of separation or divorce, both parties can become cruel and angry at each other and forget there is a child hearing and seeing adult situations that they probably would be better off not experiencing firsthand. Involving a mediator or counselor to assist when there is an irreversible communication breakdown may be the only way to solve the conflicts.
Michiana 2014
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FAMILY mommy & daddy
The New Mom On The Block Creating New Friends For You & Your Kids
By: Titilayo Akhigbe
I
t is not easy being the new mom on the block. That feeling of being a stranger somewhere, and away from your parents and loved ones, far removed from your familiar environment and comfort zone! Yes, moving to a new place can be daunting, and making new friends may soon turn out to be a Herculean task when you have one or more little ones and your mobility is restricted. Nonetheless, you should not allow yourself to sink into newbie Mom oblivion, and here are a few tips to get you connected to the world beyond your four walls:
Local Library: The local library is a great way to get your
children out of the house, and nurture their quest for knowledge by encouraging them to read. Most libraries also have a department dedicated to youth services, and will offer things like story time, a book club or an age appropriate reading program. Not only will your child be spending time with their peers, you get to connect with fellow moms. Some libraries also offer crafts for adults, language classes and some even have yoga and dance classes.
Local Sights: Another great place to meet other newbies, like yourself, is the local sights. It is the best way to find out about the history and culture of your new home. Tour guides are most likely locals, or people who have spent a considerable amount of time within the community, and generally have a good knowledge of the area.
Parks: One thing that can be said about most children is that they like to play and interact with their peers. What better place to meet other moms like the park? No matter how shy your child is, at least one other child will be curious about them. Before you know it, they are best friends with each other and at least two or three other children. The more often you frequent the park, the better your child gets to know their newfound friends, and you get to know the parents. MOPS: Mothers of Preschoolers is a nationwide program that aims to provide support for moms of young children. They have local chapters in almost every major city, and their resources and services can be found online. Social Media: Fan pages, information pages, etc. Nowadays, almost everyone is connected through social media. Look for the local newspaper’s page and subscribe to it, join your community’s Facebook page or follow them on Twitter to find out what’s happening around you. 34
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Hobby/Craft: Sign up for a hobby or craft
group. You instantly meet likeminded people, and get to work/play in a relaxed environment. If there isn’t one you are interested in, start your own and advertise widely.
Play Dates: Set up play dates with your
children’s new playmates. Invite the parents so you get to know each other. If you hit it off, fine, if not, at least your children gained some new friends. Even if you don’t become friends with those particular parents, you might meet others through them.
Extracurricular Activities: Look for age appropriate activities for your children, and sign them up for clubs or societies that offer them. This will get you all out of the house and mingling with the locals in no time. Get involved in your community, give back. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, spend time at a homeless shelter helping out however necessary or visit with an elderly person in a home around you. Bring your children along to teach them the value of serving others in a selfless manner, and also help them see that there are people who live very different lives from theirs and they are not thousands of miles across the globe, but next door, or a few streets down. If you are politically inclined, become a member of your political group or volunteer yourself for a position within the party. Be active, get involved with the decision making process and help shape the face of your new environment. The list above is by no means exhaustive. Whether you are an introvert who likes to keep to yourself, or an extrovert who enjoys being the life and soul of the party, hopefully you can put one or more if the suggestions above to good use. Being new in town should not mean being secluded, or automatically excluded from activities. Be creative in your approach to settling in, be open to learning new things and, most of all, enjoy your new home!
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FAMILY mommy & daddy
By: Noelle Elliott
T
here was a brief moment in my life that I think about from time to time. It was the only moment that I didn't know how to worry.
It is a preserved memory because it stands out as a lone instance. I was four, I climbed up a television antenna outside of my house, onto the roof and was running back and forth amazed with the new perspective a high place gave me. I didn't have a care in the world. My mom was in the kitchen and heard footsteps on the roof and ran outside to see her daughter on top of the house. As you can imagine, she began to panic. The moment I saw her face is the first time I remember worrying. I wasn't worried about the two-story drop; I was worried because I could see my mom was. My brother helped get me down and she clung to me like I was about to fall even though I was safe on the ground. I hadn't thought about consequences yet. But I remember hearing my mom tell the story over and over and the numerous "what ifs" that accompanied those conversations. "What if she would have gone to the front of the house?" “What if I would have been too late?" What if, what if, what if? I would witness her getting more and more upset every time she told the story as if it she was reliving it. Obviously, none of the “what ifs” happened. I was safe. 33 years later and my mom still shares that story. For a long time, I felt ashamed of my behavior that day. But once I became a mom it was less about me and I realized it was more about her and her perceived failure. That is something I can totally understand.
A mother’s capacity to worry is vastly larger than an ocean. I have spent numerous hours worrying. I worry about everything. When I was young I had severe stomach problems that were undiagnosed. Now I know it was worry turning my stomach into knots. I worried about the safety of my family. I worried about my schoolwork. I worried about my body. I spent a tremendous time worrying about my outfit and even more time worrying about what other people thought of me. Throughout college, worry was my constant companion and something I relied on.
As a grown woman, I have found that my worry has left its mark on my face for all to see. Battle wounds of prominent vertical wrinkles on my forehead. Not smile lines, worry lines. My mom said if I made faces someday my face would freeze that way. Well it has. In a constant state of worry, I look worried even on the rare instance that I'm not. I worry about the same exact things I did when I was a kid. I worry about the safety of my family and about my work. I worry about the way my body looks, I still worry about my outfits and sadly, I spend an exorbitant amount of time worrying about what other people think of me, even the people who are most dear. I struggle at times because I worry that my husband doesn't think I'm attractive or that my children don't see me as a good mother. What I'm actually feeling is my own sentiment mirrored back at me. I don't think I'm attractive and I don't think I'm a good mother. I have told myself this long enough that it starts to feel like a truth. Imagine if I turned my thoughts towards the possibility that I am wrong? I wouldn't doubt my husband’s admiration (after all, he married me). If the love I give to my sons was reflected back to me from their eyes, I wouldn’t have a doubt. I have been projecting all of my fears into them. The last thing I want them to do is hesitate through life because they saw the angst on my face. I can lead them down a path of worry, or let them take the lead and catch them if they fall. I had to ask myself, has all of this worrying helped or hindered our lives. The answer is obvious. Worrying has gotten me to this point, which despite myself is pretty great. When I was little, I never did fall, my mom was there to catch me before I did. Keeping your children safe is one thing; instilling useless fear in them so they won't try is different. Everyday I make an effort to stay in the moment. It sounds simple, but it works. I remind myself that everything is fine. By not directing my attention to imaginary fears of what could happen allows me to enjoy the beauty of what is really happening.
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FAMILY book reviews
Growing Up Brave By Donna B. Pincus, PhD Reviewed By: Tina Emerick Is your child starting in a new school? Having trouble getting to sleep? Or adding in an extracurricular activity to an already busy schedule? Then this book is for you. Dr. Pincus is a nationally known childhood anxiety expert. She has spent over 16 years treating children and teens with anxiety. She has created a step by step approach for parents of anxious children. All children go through some type of anxiety or stress at one time or another. As parents, you want to be there to help your child by reducing their stress and promoting bravery and long-term confidence. Dr. Pincus discusses what normal stress is and how to handle it with your child. From trouble getting to sleep, to worries about being picked up from school. She feels parents can be the key ingredient to helping a child approach the world with greater joy and confidence. Parents can’t control everything, but they help a child verbalize what their fear is and what they are feeling, see what is real and what is not and learn how to get back on track. Throughout the book Dr. Pincus includes simple exercises for parent and child to do to lower stress. One such exercise is called Parent Child Interaction Therapy. During one part, the parent takes just five minutes a day with the child, and this becomes their special time. She has a set of guidelines to help parents work with the child in a non-stressful and relaxed way. The child feels in control and safe.
Consistency, predictability, and follow-through, from the parent, is a key theme throughout the book. Teens are included in the book, with acknowledgement that some of the exercises and responses will not work the same for an older child as it does with a younger one. She does make some suggestions on how to approach the adolescent child. Finally she mentions some anxiety disorders which might need professional help or medication. In most cases spending time with your child, letting them verbalize their worries and fears and come up with alternative and positive thoughts will lower or eliminate a child’s anxiety. It is Donna Pincus’ hope that with the strategies she has given, “you will be able to help your child bring on more fun. Watch your child flourish, and enjoy the night.”
FAMILY student book reviews
The Giver
By Lois Lowry
Reviewed By: Leland, Freshman at Edwardsburg High School
What comes to mind when you think of a utopia? Failure? Similarities? Perfection of society? If so, I highly recommend The Giver, by Lois Lowry. This book will reel you in from the beginning. The Giver basically puts the audience in a “what if” situation. What if all the happiness, all the pain, all the fear, all the memories of a perfect community was held in the hands of one man. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves a good read. The book is about a twelve year old kid that is afraid of the unknown. Jonas, the main character, does not know what career he will be assigned now that he has turned twelve. He also doesn’t know what career he wants to do. Jonas’ best friends have all been doing volunteer hours so they all know what they want to do. Then the ceremony that every twelve year old has feared for their entire life comes quicker than they expected. Every Twelve, as they call them, gets arranged in order from their number they were given at birth starting at one. When their number is called, they get up from their seats and walk to the spotlight where they would receive their chosen career path. Jonas is number 19 because he was the nineteenth born child of his year. So the announcer calls the numbers
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aloud, “17… 18… 20…?” He then continues until the end of the list. Jonas is the last kid without a chosen career until the announcer calls his name and is assigned the Giver, the most important job in the community. The old Giver has to give all his memories of everything from the beginning of the community. Then the story develops into a true piece of art as you realize what the story is about, but you will have to read the book to figure that out. I believe that the reason this book is such a successful book is because of its very descriptive detail, the development to the climax and the resolution. The resolution is so good because the book is so different and out there, that it ends with whatever you want it to end with. By that, I mean, it ends on a “cliffhanger” so you decide how it ends. In conclusion, I would recommend this book, The Giver, to anyone that loves a good book and wants to have a new philosophy on life.
Birthday Party Resource Guide Everything you need to plan the party of the decade for your kiddo!
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FAMILY movie review
Revisiting
Prisoners! By: Cole Pollyea In this month of last year, the adventurous half of my family caught a 9:30 showing of PRISONERS, and what fun that was! Getting out late on summer nights to see exciting, intense movies can be just what your family needs to have some fun on a hot night. Since getting the family out of the door can be something of a hassle—I speak from experience— I’ve waited a year to bring this forth in order to make the actual process of viewing it that much easier (the DVD sells for ten bucks and after multiple inevitable viewings, you’ll agree that it’s worth every penny)! Two respective little girls are out frolicking in the cold after their families’ finish their Thanksgiving meal, but sooner or later, their families notice that they’ve been gone for some time. After an extensive search around the house and neighborhood, it’s concluded that these little girls have been kidnapped.
Image Courtesy: www.so
larmovie.is
As terrifying as the initial entry into this movie sounds, it only gets more frightening, adding layers and layers onto the mystery with every scene. While it lacks the audacity and therefore brilliance of David Fincher’s direction in ZODIAC (a better, more developed movie of the same persuasion), Canadian director Denis Villeneuve does an adequate job of holding the reigns; at sometimes I’d say he’s holding too tightly, and at others, not enough. For the most part, though, it flows nicely and what’s happening on screen is simple and fascinating; the real work here is done in the screenplay and well applied cinematography, however. As for the acting, most members of the cast pull through. While I believe that Hugh Jackman sincerely overacted his part, Jake Gyllenhall’s quietly powerful performance reiterates why he’s so respected in the acting industry. As for the other participants (who should’ve received more screen presence than they did), they did just fine. I wouldn’t quite say PRISONERS was made to show off acting prowess. All in all, this film makes the cut for top fifteen films of 2013—it was a strong year. I’m not sure if it will be a critical achievement as we move forward, but I can say that my family supremely enjoyed it. At the end of the picture, take a ruler and measure how far your family’s backs are from their seats. I think you’ll find that you might need a yardstick or two! Editor's Note: This movie is not suitable for young children and should be viewed by an older audience. THE
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