FAMILY Magazine November 2016 by FAMILY Magazines of Michiana

NOVEMBER 2016 • Moms Just Know

Learning To Be A

parent Ending the Chore Wars: Getting Kids to Help Around the House

Investing in Friendships

Start Your

Holiday Planning

Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Edwardsburg • Middlebury & Surrounding Communities

Thank you to super cute cover kids Max and Sylvia! Children of our very own, Zuzanna Zmud, FAMILY Magazines Graphic Designer!

Contributors President & Publisher:

Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com

Managing Editor: Jessica Haviland

The FAMILY Magazines P.O. Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 269.228.8295 â&#x20AC;˘ FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com

Sue Heinrich Sue@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

AD COORDINATOR & INSIDE SALES MANAGER Amanda Oiler

Amanda@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

cover photographer

GRAPHIC DESIGN Manager: Zuzanna Zmud

Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication.

EVENT COORDINATOR Denise M. Longley

Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way!

denise@michianafamilymagazine.com

Ann Reiff is one of

Michianaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Premiere Real Life Photographers. Her heart and soul define her style, as she is able to capture the moments we wish to always remember. Ann shoots all varieties of sessions at her studio in Southwest Michigan and also loves doing shoots on location. Contact her at: www.studio513east.com ann@studio513east.com 269-228-0373

TheFamilyMagazineOfMichiana

Volume 10: Number 9

Medical Editor: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D.

Find the Hidden Acorn!

Distribution ManagerS: Chad Haviland

For your enjoyment and fun!

www.MichianaMom.com Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Publishing LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors.

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FamilyMagazine

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

F R O M T H E P U B LI S H E R

Things We

Love Right Now! (at FAMILY)

his year’s November is quite a month. The month begins with the final week of political campaigning. Daylight Saving Time ends on the 6th. The election finally takes place on the 8th. No matter whether your candidate wins or loses, I think we will all be happy to see the end of the political advertisements on television and the constant barrage of campaign information on every media outlet. The next day, the 9th, we will celebrate with SASSY Magazine’s Glitz and Sass Holiday Fashion Show at the Morris Inn. I am really looking forward to this event as it is my first big event with the magazines! A few days later is Veterans Day, our opportunity to salute the men and women who have kept our country free through war and peace. Then the month ends with Thanksgiving and Black Friday and the beginning of the Christmas Season. Thanksgiving was always a special holiday for me. My mother was a wonderful cook and our Thanksgiving dinner was always amazing. My mom made this special version of Waldorf Salad in addition to the usual turkey, stuffing and all the trimmings. But, the pièce de résistance was the pie for dessert, whether pumpkin or mincemeat, it was delicious. She made the best piecrust ever. No matter where I lived as an adult, I always came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. The food wasn’t the reason, but I certainly enjoyed it! With the incredibly warm weather we have had this fall, the leaves were really late changing color and most were still clinging to the trees late into October. And we haven’t seen a frost nor even a mention of snow. It’s hard to tell what our winter will be, but this fall has been terrific. It has been the first time I have ever heard people complain that the fall weather was too warm and they couldn’t wait for colder temperatures.

1. Family Gatherings 2. Beginning of the Holiday Season 3. Crockpots 4. Famous Family Recipes 5. Super Soft Slippers 6. Long Cardigans 7. Holiday Décor 8. Baby’s First Steps 9. Candle Lights 10. The Start of Christmas Shopping 11. Hot Cocoa

I hope you couldn’t wait for our next issue of FAMILY Magazine. This month we have a lot of good reading for you. For Veterans Day we have an article on 11 Ways Families Can Salute a Veteran. For Thanksgiving, there is one on Practicing Gratitude. Other stories include Ending the Chore Wars and Dangerous Teen Behaviors Parents Need to Look For. In addition, there is a fun craft for making Oreo turkeys!

12. Chili

One more thing, the adorable children on the cover this month belong to Zuzanna Zmud, our Graphic Design Manager. Enjoy the magazine and have a great Thanksgiving!

15. Cashmere Blankets

13. Oil Diffusers 14. Baby Swings

Novem

ber 2016

Congratulations to our September Coloring Contest Winners! Be sure to check out this month's coloring contest on page 25!

Check it Out!

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Gran ny nann y Missio Poss on CLibtle w: FiGhti nG AS

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Brielle - Age 6

THE

Jenna - Age 8 FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

Grace - Age 12

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4Keeps

By: Casey Kiel

Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com

FAMILY contributors

Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.

Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publications. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.

Reader Testimonials

Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisanOccasion. com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for nine years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.

Jackie Folkert is a mother of three and lives in South Bend. She is a freelance writer and an English teacher. www.jackiefolkert.com

We’d LOVE to hear from you! CONTACT US AT....jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

“I am impressed with the quality of the FAMILY Magazine from the informational articles to the beautiful ads. The magazine does an amazing job providing a variety of interesting topics as well as keeping the public informed about area events.” – Kelly B.

“I love the Centerfold Calendar in FAMILY Magazine. It is always full of fun events that my family and I can do locally!” – Jaclyn R.

“I love reading the articles in FAMILY Magazine. They relate to everyday moms just like me!” – Ginny W. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

the FAMILY magazine table

contents

Live Your Best

4 From The Publisher 4 Things We Love Right Now 5 4Keeps Comic 5 Contributors & Testimonials 8 The FAMILY Month Calendar

Family Kids

10 Ending The Chore Wars By: Malia Jacobson

16 Centerfold Calendar

12 Dangerous Teen Behavior

Family Book Reviews

14 Practicing Gratitude

7 To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before

By Jenny Han Reviewed By: Zoie Appleberry

24 Learning To Be A Positive Parent

Reviewed By: Jackie Folkert

Family Craft 9 Oreo Turkeys By: Jill Lebbin

By: Jamie Lober

By: Ashley Talmadge

18 11 Ways Families Can Salute A Veteran By: Christa Melnyk Hines

Family Health

20 9 Natural Ways To Boost Your Child’s Immune System By: Christa Melynk Hines

Mommy and Daddy

22 Dear Mom, Savor The Plain Moments By: Meagan Church

26 Friendships: An Important Investment By: Noelle Elliott

28 Start Your Holiday Planning NOW By: Emily Zander

Fiction

30 The Diary Of A Modern Mom: The Boogie Conversation By: Meagan Church

FAMILY kids book review

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before By Jenny Han Reviewed By: Zoie Appleberry, Edwardsburg Middle School

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is about a small town girl named Lara Jean, who keeps her secrets to herself, including her crushes. Instead she would write a letter about each boy she ever liked, seal it and hide it in a box that her mother got her under her bed. These notes aren't just simple love letters, in each letter she poured out her heart and soul about each boy. But, one day, Lara Jean gets home and realizes that her box of notes is gone, but not only gone, they had been shipped to each boy. This simple gesture leads to all of her past crushes confronting her about the notes. What if all the crushes you ever had found out how you felt about them…all at once? Read for yourself to find out how these love letters had somehow helped her.

Photo courtesy: Amazon.com

donateshopdonateshop · Inspire hope · Shop trends · Instill dignity · Donate today

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Good Points Reward Card

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THE

8:59 PM

Harvest & Holiday Bazaar, 8:00 A.M.,

NOVEMBER

Fall Frolic, 8:00 P.M., Century Center – South Bend Elkhart Calvary Glitz & Sass United Methodist The Price Is Right Live, Holiday Fashion Church-Elkhart 7:30 P.M., Morris Performing Show, 5:00 P.M., Arts Center-South Bend Morris Inn-Notre Dame Santa’s Rockin’ 8th Annual Arrival, 4:30 P.M., International Food University Park MallFair, 1:00 P.M., South Mishawaka The Power Of Bend Junior Academy Positive Parenting, Veteran’s – South Bend 4th Annual Polar 6:30 P.M., Chandler Day Express Night, Elementary School 7:00 P.M., Cafeteria-Goshen Election Day! The Lerner-Elkhart Housewife’s Day

4 6

101 Dalmatians Kids, 7:30 P.M.,

The Lerner – Elkhart

Small Business Saturday

Free Movie: Elf,

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, The Musical,

11:00 A.M., The Lerner – Elkhart

A Christmas Story,

1:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center–South Bend

25 27

Black Friday! 2:00 P.M. & 8:00 Happy Shopping! P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish Acres – Nappanee

Christmas In New Carlisle, 11:00 A.M.,

Downtown New Carlisle

Thanksgiving

1 2 7 10 13 14 16 17 20 21 22 28 29 30 Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th Fr Sa Su M Tu W

Items NOT To Buy On Black Friday Patio Furniture Home Furniture Gift Cards Airline Flights Gaming & High End Laptops Chocolates & Flowers Second-Hand Gaming Consoles Current-Gen Video Game Consoles OLED TVs Winter Gear Holiday Decorations Amazon Echo Dot (Information found at www.dealnews.com)

Thanksgiving Macy’s Day Parade

Bingo Supplies: • Printable Blank Bingo Cards • Markers or Stamps

Holiday Baking

Directions: 1. Print out Bingo cards by scanning the QR code below. 2. Use markers or stamps to mark off the squares as you seen each balloon or float that is listed. 3. The person who marks off five in a row wins the game!

Cream Cheese Pumpkin Crumb Cake

Edible Roses

Pumpkin Cheesecake Balls

(www.cookingwithmanuela.com)

(www.cakescottage.com)

(www.omgchocolatedesserts.com)

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY craft

Photo Provided By: Jill Lebbin

By: Jill Lebbin

Oreo Turkeys Materials:

Steps:

• Melting Chocolate

1. These are easy and fun to make. Just get your favorite melting chocolate at your local grocery store. Heat chocolate according to package instructions.

• Oreos • Candy Eyes • Orange M&M’s • Candy Corns

2. Dip your Oreos in and put them on wax paper to dry. 3. Once dry, put on eyes (you can get them at Target) by adding a bit of chocolate to the back of the eyes and sticking them on. Then you can add the beak. The beak is an M&M cut in half. I had some “candy corn” flavored M&M’s lying around which happen to be the largest M&M’s ever, so that is why I cut them in half. Then I stuck them on by adding melted chocolate to the back. 4. Lastly, I used melted chocolate once again to adhere candy corns to the back. Basically the melted chocolate acted as glue. 5. Enjoy! For more ideas and recipes go to everydayisanoccasion.com THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY kids

By: Malia Jacobson

Ending the Chore Wars

Getting Kids to Help Around the House

“Household chores breed confidence, competence and success.”

n theory, giving kids household chores seems like a winning scenario for everyone involved—kids gain responsibility, and parents finally get some extra help with the dishes, the dog and the never-ending piles of laundry. But kids aren’t always willing participants in this well-conceived plan. All too often, parents find that getting a child to finish a job proves to be more work than the actual chore itself—and grudgingly pick up the slack themselves. That means today’s kids are doing less around the house. According to the University of Maryland Population Research Center, kids’ time spent doing housework dropped 25 percent from 1981 to 2003, and kids aged 6-12 now help out for just 24 minutes per day. Letting kids off the hook can seem like the easy way out, but it’s a mistake, says Judy H. Wright, parent educator and author of 77 Ways to Get Your Kids to Help At Home. Household chores breed confidence, competence and success. “I’ve had teachers tell me that they can spot the students who do chores at home,” she says. “It gives children confidence when they’re allowed and expected to contribute to the family.” If you could use a little more help around the house, read on for ways to get kids to pitch in, from the pokiest preschooler to the most petulant pre-teen.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

TODDLER/PRESCHOOL 2-5: Little Helpers Parents often aren’t sure whether tots can or should do household chores, says child development specialist Uschi Wells of Imprints, a parent education organization in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. But household chores can be a developmental boon to young kids. “We try to help parents see how chores can fit in to a child’s healthy development,” she says. “Giving a two-year-old a task like filling the cat’s water dish or carrying a pile of laundry builds their fine motor and gross motor skills.” Young kids often enjoy helping their parents, making early childhood an excellent time to start with a few small chores, says Wells. The key to soliciting cooperation from young children is to make it fun, she notes; this isn’t the time to pile on the pressure by assigning too many jobs or nagging. Instead, find jobs a young child enjoys, like dusting baseboards, sorting laundry or unloading silverware from the dishwasher.

ELEMENTARY YEARS 6-11: Loving Limits The late elementary years are a time of social and emotional growth, and children become more concerned with independence than with pleasing their parents—so the sweet child who used to cheerfully sort socks and make her bed may start to shirk the simplest household task. And spurts of physical growth and hormonal changes toward the end of elementary school leave kids justifiably tired at the end of the day. Tweens should still help, but parents may need to enlist a little creativity to get them off the couch. Wright recommends giving jobs with a time limit attached; a child must feed the dog before he eats dinner, for example, Take on bigger jobs like bedroom cleaning on Saturday mornings before the weekend rush begins with a regular one-hour “work party” (complete with tween-approved tunes).

TEEN YEARS 12-18: Time Crunch Between 7 A.M. classes, after-school jobs and burgeoning homework loads, it may seem like teens are too busy for chores; they’re either constantly on the go or sleeping. During the busy teenage years, some parents relax rules about household chores to allow teens to focus on schoolwork. That’s fine, says Wright, but the teens still benefit from contributing to the household. “Chores help teens build skills like planning, time management and creativity that they’ll use in the working world,” she says. Teens who are short on time can flex their growing negotiation prowess—an important skill for workplace success—by trading tasks with siblings. “A busy teen can trade jobs with her sibling, maybe by telling her younger brother that if he vacuums, she’ll drive him to soccer practice,” says Wright. “It’s good training, no matter what the future holds.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY kids

Dangerous

Teen Behavior Parents Should Look For By: Jamie Lober

The teenage years are far from easy for most parents. As kids go through the adolescent stage, they develop physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually and sexually to name a few. Peer pressure can bring on problems and complicated decisions which make your role as a parent all the more important. The best thing you can do is to continue to keep lines of communication open and offer honest information when asked. This will reinforce that your child can talk to you about anything and not feel ashamed or embarrassed of questions or concerns that may arise during the teen years. Of course you want to be in tune to any behaviors that appear suspect or dangerous because they could indicate an issue, mental health or otherwise.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

The American Academy of Pediatrics said that parents should be alert for red flags like excessive sleeping; loss of self-esteem; abandonment or loss of interest in favorite pastimes; unexpected and dramatic decline in academic performance; weight loss and loss of appetite; or personality shifts and changes such as aggressiveness and excess anger that are sharply out of character and could indicate psychological, drug or sexual problems. Both peer pressure and mental health issues can lead to substance abuse in teens where they resort to self-medicating with alcohol or drugs. The American Academy of Pediatrics said that in addition to being aware of the behavioral and physical signs of alcohol and drug abuse like drug and alcohol paraphernalia or evidence, hangovers or slurred speech parents should also be alert for prescription drug misuse and abuse and know that over-the-counter medications can be abused as well. You may be surprised to learn that prescription drug misuse by teens is second only to marijuana and alcohol misuse. Teens often abuse over-the-counter cough and cold medications as well.

“be alert for red flags”

If you have any concerns about dangerous behavior in your teen, talk to the pediatrician. He will be able to provide insight and offer a medical assessment. If he agrees there are signs of trouble, he will be able to refer you to the proper mental health professional so your child can receive counseling and support. The Indiana Poison Center acknowledged that parenting a teen can be difficult as you strive to find a balance between giving freedom and promoting safety. The Indiana Poison Center said that in times of stress teens may turn to medication or illicit drugs to take the edge off and you should not ignore

a sudden change in behavior. They also name peer pressure as the biggest stressor in a teen’s life and ask that you encourage good choices regardless of the actions of others. Any changes in your teen’s personality, relationships with friends, interests or academic performance should be concerning.

about the dosage and how to measure together. You may not think it is a big deal if he takes an over-the-counter medicine for a cough or cold but they can be a big deal and just as dangerous as prescription drugs when used improperly. Remind him that the internet is not always the best place to gather medical information. A lot of information on the web is useful but a lot is from unreliable sources and it can be hard to tell the difference. Try to do some searches together and know what websites your teen frequents when you are not with him. AAA asked that parents talk about safety behind the wheel with their teen once he reaches driving age. They recommended minimizing distractions which are not limited to wireless devices and can also include eating, drinking, chatting with a passenger, reading a map, personal grooming, reaching for objects or looking at people or objects unrelated to the driving task. Discourage him from having other friends in his car or riding as a passenger with other new drivers. Indiana’s driver’s licensing rules ban non-family passengers during the first 180 days of driving for good reason. Last, set a good example when you are behind the wheel. Whether you are thinking about texting or talking on the phone as you drive or having more alcohol than usual, think twice and know that your teen is watching. While it may not always feel like it, your teen looks up to you and models your behavior and when you do your best job he is able to pay it forward.

If your teen is sick, oversee him as he takes any prescribed medicine. Even if he thinks he is using it for the intended purpose, he is at risk for poisoning if he does not read or understand the label. Talk THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY kids

Practicing Gratitude

It’s More Than Good Manners By: Ashley Talmadge

Resources For parents: Gratitude & Kindness: A Modern Parents Guide to Raising Children in an Era of Entitlement, by Dr. Carla Fry and Dr. Lisa Ferrari (2015) Making Grateful Kids: The Science of Building Character, by Jeffrey Froh and Giacomo Bono (2015) Thanks!: How Practicing Gratitude Can Make You Happier, by Robert Emmons (2008) For kids: The Best Part of the Day, by Sarah Ban Breathnach (2014) [author of Simple Abundance] Gratitude Journal for Kids: My Gratitude Journal, Mirabell Publishing (2013)

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

t the restaurant a young girl fidgets in her chair. The server places a tall glass of milk in front of her. “What do you say?” reminds her mother. “Thank you,” responds the child dutifully. As parents, we often play a role in this scene. But what are we teaching? Ben Hall, father of nine-year-old Ella, asks, “Does the child feel thankful when she says ‘thank you’ after being reminded? I don’t think so.” Reflecting on his own childhood, Hall believes such an interaction merely “forces good behavior or manners.” He suggests real gratitude is “similar to appreciation and awareness,” something he and Ella’s mother are mindful of teaching their child. Experts suggest Hall is onto something. Certainly good manners are important. But true gratitude runs deeper and does more than foster civility. Several recent studies suggest that gratitude is the single best predictor of well-being. A child who feels and expresses gratitude for the people, experiences and things in her life is more likely to demonstrate resilience, do well in school, and build lasting social connections. She is also less likely to suffer from depression or engage in antisocial behavior.

But can gratitude be taught? Wendy Mather, social worker and former facilitator with The Virtues Project, believes a lot of the teaching amounts to good modeling. She says, parents “must cultivate the virtue of gratitude for themselves before they teach it to their children…It’s more than just writing ‘thank you’ cards. It’s the ability to convey our feelings of appreciation and thanks out loud and silently for the good and not so good in life.” The language we choose communicates much. Occasional venting to one’s spouse can provide relief at the end of a tough week. But it shouldn’t be common fodder for conversation with our kids. Instead of describing the cashier as “crabby,” we can show empathy by saying, “She must not be having a very good day.” Or we can focus on the positive: “That woman behind us was so understanding when I couldn’t find my bank card. I really appreciated her patience.” As Mather says, “Model patience and understanding and optimism when it comes to dealing with trials and tribulations. Life’s challenges are our biggest teachers.” In addition to modeling, Mather encourages parents to “catch your child in the act of practicing gratitude,” and label it. During a snack you might say, “You are grateful for that juicy pear; I can tell by how much you smile as you eat it!” Or when your child becomes immersed in collecting stones at the creek rather than sticking to your scheduled hike, take time to notice her appreciation of nature’s offerings. Parenting can be all-encompassing. Busy moms and dads find it challenging to eat well, get enough sleep and exercise regularly. But according to Mather, such self care is important in our practice of gratitude. She says, “We tend to run on auto pilot when we feel run down, tired, and stressed. We can truly savor and appreciate our riches, in whatever form…when we take care of ourselves.” Ben Hall believes “we teach gratitude in times of quiet reflection.” He echoes the need for breathing space, both as an individual and as a family. In today’s 24/7 whirlwind of technology-enhanced communication and entertainment, creating those islands of tranquility can be difficult. Yet, intentional transitions between the varied spheres of our lives—work, school, community, home—allow us to reflect on, learn from, and appreciate our experiences. Hall says a period of silence before a meal allows us to “consider the presence of the food, the cook and the origin of the food.” Rather than an entitlement, the food becomes a blessing and a gift—one for which we are truly grateful. And the best part? Gratitude produces more of the same. A grateful person is more likely to reciprocate and to provide support to a third party, thus contributing to stronger familial and community bonds. As Mather says, “When we express appreciation we attract gratitude. It’s a language of love and connection.”

13 Ways to Grow Gratitude - Choose language of optimism. Focus on gifts, blessings and abundance rather than needs and entitlements. - Ask for help. Even when it’s not “time prudent,” ask your kids to help with household tasks. - Thank specifically. Let your child know exactly why you’re grateful. “Thank you for reading to Sammy this afternoon. He really loved snuggling with you.” - Silence before a meal. Take a few moments to think about the food and how it got to the table. - Best of the day. At bedtime, ask your child to describe what was best about her day. - Create a gratitude jar. Write (or draw) the things you’re grateful for, and collect them in a jar. Read them as a group each week. - Make a collage. Use pictures, words, fabric and small objects to represent the things you’re grateful for, and discuss as a family. - Volunteer. Find organizations in your community with kid-friendly helping options. - Pass it around. Sit in a circle. Each person tells something they like about the person on the right. - Random acts of kindness. At the drive-thru, pay for the car behind you—and let your child in on the secret. - Don’t overindulge. Resist the “Everyone has___!” and “I need it for ___!” arguments. - Make them earn it. Extra chores and helping neighbors are great ways to make some pocket money. - Turn it around. When faced with a challenge, find the silver lining by asking: “What did I learn from this?” “Is there something I can be grateful for?”

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

Talk With Your Baby,

South Bend Firefighters’ Association – South Bend

Blackhawks Bus Trip From South Bend Firefighters, 5:00 P.M.,

11:30 A.M., Robinson Community Learning CenterSouth Bend

The Moody Blues,

6:30 P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/PlaneteriumMishawaka

Into The Deep,

7:30 PM, Morris Performing Arts Center-South Bend

All Day, St. Vincent de Paul Center-South Bend

St. Vincent de Paul Adopt-A-Family,

Housewife’s Day

7:30 P.M., Battell CenterMishawaka

“The Company” Presents “A Como Cabaret Christmas,

University Park MallMishawaka

Santa’s Rockin’ Arrival, 4:30 P.M.,

Saint Anthony de Padua’s Auditorium – South Bend

Concord Mall – Elkhart

Gift Extravaganza, 10:00 A.M.,

8:00 A.M., Elkhart Calvary United Methodist Church-Elkhart

Harvest & Holiday Bazaar,

Saint Anthony’s 24th Annual Holiday Craft Bazaar, 8:30 A.M.,

Ace McCloud

“Be thankful for the things that you do have as opposed to thinking about the things that you don't have.”

NOVEMBER

2016

Get connected to our online calendar at MichianaMom.com to see additional events and submit events of your own!

Want to check out even more things to do in Michiana?

Falcons-South Bend

Downtown New Carlisle

Christmas In New Carlisle, 11:00 A.M.,

2:00 P.M., The Round barn Theatre At Amish Acres – Nappanee

A Christmas Story,

Home of Jody & Tara Lengacher – Wakarusa

37th Annual Psi lota Xi House of Holly Silent Auction, Noon,

Artisans Unleashed Fall Arts 7 Crafts Show, 10:00 A.M., M.R.

A Christmas Story,

2:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish Acres-Nappanee

The History Museum – South Bend

Dressing Downtown Teas, 2:00 P.M.,

Bend Junior Academy – South Bend

8th Annual International Food Fair, 1:00 P.M., South

Dave Ramsey’s Smart Money Tour,

6:30 P.M., South Bend Museum Of Art

Winter Class Blast,

Meditation Yoga,

All Day, The History Museum – South Bend

Dressing Downton,

French Toast Day

All Day, The History Museum – South Bend

World Hello Day

Dressing Downton,

All Day, St. Vincent de Paul Center-South Bend

St. Vincent de Paul Adopt-A-Family,

5:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental City-Elkhart

6:30 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

All Day, The History Museum – South Bend

29 4:00 P.M., Elkhart Public Library

Arm Knitting,

Dressing Downton,

Chandler Elementary School Cafeteria-Goshen

The Power Of Positive Parenting, 6:30 P.M.,

Lakeland Medical Center-St. Joseph, MI

Election Day!

2016 Breast Feeding Class, 6:00 P.M.,

6:30 P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/Planetarium – Mishawaka

Zula Patrol Down To Earth & Zula Patrol: Under The Weather,

6:00 P.M., Robinson Community Learning CenterSouth Bend

Talk With Your Baby,

Free Movie: Elf,

11:00 A.M., The Lerner – Elkhart

6:00 P.M., Robinson Community Learning CenterSouth Bend

Talk With Your Baby,

5:30 P.M., Studebaker National Museum-South Bend

Holiday Open House

6:00 P.M., Robinson Community Learning CenterSouth Bend

Talk With Your Baby,

5:00 P.M., Morris Inn-Notre Dame

Glitz & Sass Holiday Fashion Show,

9 Museum – South Bend

Together Time,

2:00 P.M. & 8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish Acres – Nappanee

A Christmas Story,

8:30 A.M., Peace Lutheran Church & School – Granger

Thanksgiving

2:00 P.M. & 8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish Acres-Nappanee

A Christmas Story,

A.M., Peace Lutheran School-Granger

Together Time, 8:30

7:00 P.M., Beickman Performing Arts Center- Elkhart

While The Lights Were Out,

Dressing Downton Teas, 2:00 P.M., The History

7:30 P.M., The Lerner – Elkhart

8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish Acres – Nappanee

A Christmas Story,

6:00 P.M., South Bend International Airport – South Bend

Black Friday! Happy Shopping!

5th Annual Bears In The Air Kickoff Party,

The History Museum – South Bend

Dressing Downton Teas, 2:00 P.M.,

101 Dalmatians Kids,

Veteran’s Day

Advent Begins

Mom & Me Pottery,

1:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center – South Bend

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, The Musical,

Small Business Saturday

7:00 P.M., The Lerner – Elkhart

Contemporary Nutcracker,

9:00 A.M., St. Patrick’s County Park: Brown Barn- South Bend

10:00 A.M., Concord Mall – Elkhart

National Adoption Day

2:00 P.M. & 8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish Acres – Nappanee

A Christmas Story,

Michiana Scale Model Show,

7:30 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center-South Bend

The Price Is Right Live,

Geocache Chili Dump,

Fall Frolic, 8:00 P.M., Century Center – South Bend

1:00 P.M., St. Patrick’s County ParkHarvest Room-South Bend

FAMILY kids

11 Ways Families Can

Salute a Veteran By: Christa Melnyk Hines

During this month of Thanksgiving, don't forget our military service members. Many organizations and veterans groups offer ways to help support and show gratitude to members of the armed forces. Help a veteran, a deployed service member and military families know that you appreciate their sacrifices. Here's how: 1) Help an expectant military mom. Nothing relieves a soldier's worries more than knowing his family is supported back home. Operation Top Knot, an organization started by college student Audri Cid in 2003, is a nationwide network of individuals who sew, knit and create gift baskets to support new and expectant mothers whose husbands are deployed. To donate baby blankets, diapers, bottles, clothing and other items, visit http://soldiersangels.org/Operation-Top-Knot-Team.html. 2) Write a letter. Remind veterans and their families that you're thinking about them and appreciate their commitment to our nation. Write a letter to a deployed soldier, a wounded warrior or a veteran who has served in past wars through OperationGratitude.com or a military family through Operation Appreciation sponsored by Blue Star Families, www.bluestarfam.org. 3) Support their furry friends. Raise money to go toward fostering pets of active duty service members, wounded warriors and homeless veterans. Guardian Angels for Soldier's Pet is a non-profit organization that finds qualified foster families to care for pets while soldiers are deployed or when military families transfer overseas. The foster families also care for pets whose warriors have died.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Write a letter to a deployed soldier, a wounded warrior or a veteran.â&#x20AC;? 18

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4) Contribute to Paralyzed Veterans of America. This organization supports veterans who suffer from a spinal cord injury. Participate in one of the organization's sporting events or fundraisers, make a monetary donation or collect and donate bags of clothing, shoes, belts, hats, books, CDs and small household goods. For more information, visit www.pva.org.

5) Assist disabled and wounded veterans. Volunteer at your local Veterans Affairs (VA) hospital or help disabled veterans whether running errands, doing yard work or assisting them with transportation. Contact www.dav. org for more information. Also, check out the Wounded Warrior Project for other ways to help injured service members. 6) Help them call home. Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) supports and assists military veterans and their families through a variety of programs, including Operation Uplink. The program enables service members and hospitalized veterans to make free calls back home to loved ones for three days each month. Go to www.VFW.com to find out how you can make a donation. 7) Aid service dogs. PatriotPaws trains dogs to serve disabled veterans. You can volunteer to help the organization by bathing and walking dogs, running errands or fundraising. For more information visitwww. patriotpaws.org. 8) Clip coupons. Don't toss your expired coupons! Military families stationed overseas can use coupons for up to six months past the expiration dates. Visit www.coupsfortroops.com for drop-off sites or to find out where to mail your coupons. 9) Donate DVDs. DVDS4Vets is a non-profit organization started by Dr. Richard Landis, an orthopedic surgeon who helped build clinics in Afghanistan, and James F. Nicholson, who served as an Air Force pilot in Korea between 1950 and 1953. Landis and Nicholson saw a need to provide basic entertainment for veterans who returned home with traumatic brain injuries and other serious wounds and were undergoing longterm rehabilitation. To donate used or new DVDs to veterans, visitwww. dvds4vets.org.

Veterans Day Quiz Veterans Day originated after which of the following wars: A. WWII B. Revolutionary War C. WWI Answer (C): Veterans Day originated as "Armistice Day" on November 11, 1919, to mark the one-year anniversary when Germany signed the Armistice to formally end WWI. What year did Veterans Day become a national holiday? A. 1919 B. 1938 C. 1945 Answer (B): Veterans Day became a national holiday in 1938.

10) Send a care package. Soldiers who are serving far from home look forward to receiving mail. Visit Anysoldier.com to learn how to send a letter and what is appropriate for care packages. If you'd like to help support a veteran who does not have family to assist in the transition to home and civilian life, check out the Adopt a Veteran program through www.soldierangels.org. Those who volunteer to be an Adopting Angel make a 12-month commitment to send a letter each week and a small gift once a month, tailored to the individual veteran's specific needs. 11) Say thank you. If you see a soldier in uniform or a veteran, a simple "Thank you for your service" is a considerate way to express your gratitude. For more ways to thank a vet, visitwww.kidsthankavet.com.

Which U.S. president changed the name of the holiday from Armistice Day to Veterans Day? A. Dwight D. Eisenhower B. John F. Kennedy C. Franklin D. Roosevelt Answer (A): In 1954, President Dwight D. Eisenhower signed legislation to change the name of the holiday to Veterans Day, to honor all those who served in American wars.

FAMILY health

natural ways

to Boost Your

Child's

Immune System By: Christa Melnyk Hines

Try to integrate these vitamins and nutrients into your family's diet: • Protein boosts the body's defense system (lean meats, beans, nuts, eggs, soy products and seeds). • Vitamin A helps keep the skin, respiratory system and tissues in your mouth, stomach and intestines healthy (sweet potatoes, carrots, kale, spinach and apricots). • Vitamin C stimulates the formation of antibodies that fight infection (citrus fruits, red bell pepper, papaya and tomato juice). • Vitamin E is an antioxidant that neutralizes free radicals in the body (sunflower seeds, almonds, hazelnuts, peanut butter, sunflower/ safflower oils and spinach). • Zinc is a nutrient that helps wounds heal and keeps the immune system working properly (lean meats, poultry, seafood, milk, whole grain products, beans and nuts). 20

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ith the flu and cold season right around the corner, try simple, natural strategies to help keep your child healthy and strong. These tips can also help the body fight illness more efficiently. Eat from the rainbow. During cold and flu season, it's especially important to avoid non-nourishing foods which can aggravate symptoms and make it harder for the immune system to respond to illness. "Good nutrition is essential to a strong immune system and it can offer seasonal protection from illnesses, as well as other health problems like allergies," says registered dietitian Joan Sechrist, PhD, Optima Health & Sentara Healthcare. Vaccinate. Stay current on your child's immunizations. "Immunizations in younger years can help prevent disease as kids grow into adults," Sechrist says. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that anyone over the age of six months get the flu vaccine, which is one of the best ways to protect your child from influenza. According to the CDC, an average of 20,000 children under the age of five are hospitalized each year due to complications from the flu. Get adequate sleep. Kids need between eight to 12 hours of sleep a night to help keep their bodies strong. Stick to a regular, calming evening routine. Also, power down distracting electronic devices that can interrupt sleep.

Exercise regularly. Active kids are healthier kids. Experts recommend that kids get 60 minutes of physical activity every day. Take family walks or bike rides, shoot hoops, swim at your local community center, go roller or ice skating, play hopscotch or toss a ball in the backyard.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Have your child lather for 20 seconds or say the ABCs twice.â&#x20AC;?

Teach proper hand-washing. Basic hand-washing with soap and water prevents the spread of disease. Have your child lather for 20 seconds or say the ABCs twice. Avoid overuse of sanitizers, which destroys both good and bad bacteria on the hands. Take probiotics. "Probiotics are fabulous in and of themselves for gut integrity," says naturopathic physician Shelly Clevidence. "For increasing the immune system, they don't have to be live." Look for probiotics in pill form or in foods. If your child is sick, avoid dairy products, which contribute to inflammation and mucus build-up.

Try castor oil. Extruded from the castor bean plant, castor oil can be rubbed on your child's belly at night when the immune system is most active, says Leah Hollon, a naturopathic physician. Castor oil, she says, is both anti-cancer and an anti-inflammatory. "Castor oil is pretty amazing. We find it helps bring more white blood cells into the blood stream to help fight infection," Hollon says. "It also helps get that histamine response down for some kids that have allergies, and it helps them have a good bowel movement." Constipation issues can be worse during flu and cold season.

Homemade Chicken Broth

Bone broth is an inexpensive, nutrient-rich stimulant for the immune system.

Ingredients Organic chicken bones Organic vegetables (vegetable scraps are fine like carrot peels, tips of celery, etc.) Water 3 Tablespoons-1/4 cup Apple Cider Vinegar

Consider elderberry syrup. Both Clevidence and Hollon say elderberry syrup (also available in a tincture) can help kids fight a cold or flu. "Elderberry syrup is one of my favorites," Hollon says. "My kids love the taste of it. Probiotic, elderberry syrup is antibacterial and antiviral, a general broad spectrum support." Elderberry has been used for centuries to treat wounds and respiratory illnesses and is thought to reduce swelling in the mucous membranes and sinuses. *Consult with your pediatrician before treating your youngster with elderberry.

3. After cooking, strain vegetables and bones out and discard.

Power up with Omega-3s. A recent study published in the Journal of Leukocyte Biology suggest that omega-3 fatty acids found in fish oil and plant sources, like flax seeds, chia seeds, Brussels sprouts and cauliflower, could also help boost immune function.

4. Use broth for chicken noodle soup or freeze in muffin tins and pop out for use in soups, sauteeing vegetables or as flavoring for other meals.

Most of all, role model healthy living and your child is likely to follow suit--naturally.

Directions 1. Place chicken bones and vegetables in crock pot 2. Cover with water and apple cider vinegar. Cook on low for a day or day and a half.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY mommy & daddy

All Mom's Can Use A Bit Of Encouragement!

By: Meagan Church

Savor the Plain Moments Dear Mom, If I you ask my 10-year-old about his day at school, you’ll probably get a one-word reply: good. If you press him for more info, he will give you a couple more words to humor you until he can ask his own question: “Can I play Madden now?” Interestingly enough, if you wait a few hours and ask him again, suddenly the floodgates open. There seems to be a direct correlation between the amount he wants to talk and the nearness of bedtime. Of course bedtime is typically the time when I’m ready to check out. I’m tired from the day and all I want to do is watch “The Newsroom,” while the cat falls asleep beside me. But Jonas? Well, he’s just getting going. The kid has become so skilled at extending bedtime that he offers to massage our shoulders or asks us to tell stories about our childhoods. He wants to savor (and prolong) every minute before we turn out the lights for the night. I’ll admit that on some nights, I don’t feel like engaging. I’m thinking about that load of laundry that still needs to be folded or the article I have to write the next day. Or I’m just tired, and want to get lost in a TV show or a book before calling it a night. 22

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Then I read Shauna Niequist’s book “Present Over Perfect: Leaving Behind Frantic for a Simpler, More Soulful Way of Living.” Statements like this one convicted me: “Present means we understand that the here and now is sacred, sacramental, threaded through with divinity even in its plainness. Especially in its plainness.” Moments like talking with my son for 10 minutes before bedtime are sacred. These moments matter. After all, this kid has now reached double-digits age. Double digits, folks! How is that possible since I’m pretty sure it was just yesterday that I was changing his diapers or watching him take his first steps or playing Thomas the Tank Engine with him. That was yesterday, right? I know that before long, getting him to engage in conversation will become more difficult. I know that in a few years, he won’t care to hear stories about when I was a kid. He won’t ask me to lie with him for a few minutes before bed or to pray with him or to scratch his back as he tells me about his soccer game at recess or his fantasy football stats. Being present in these plain moments matters. As much as I’d rather be mentally checked out for the night, now is the time to lean in to the simple moments—even when I’m tired or have laundry to fold or the clock says it’s bedtime. Soon enough, these moments will be mere memories, tucked away for random reminiscence just like his first steps and his favorite train engine. So for today, I’m going to remind myself to stop and savor them.

“Present means we understand that the here and now is sacred, sacramental, threaded through with divinity even in its plainness. Especially in its plainness.”

Gift cards and jump passes can only be redeemed at park where purchased. Holiday offer only available at participating parks. Terms and conditions apply, offer may vary. Promotion cannot be combined with other offers. May include taxes. FREE 30-minute Jump Pass is valid 12/26/2016-6/30/2016. Only 1 pair of SkySocks per $30 Gift Card purchase. Promotional offer only valid through December 31, 2016 while supplies last.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY book review

Learning To Be A

Positive Parent By: Jackie Folkert

I swatted my toddler’s bum and then she looked up at me and giggled. That was the moment I knew that my discipline style isn’t working. Should I try time-outs instead? I wonder. They are hit or miss. Consequences? I can never match one to fit the crime. What I don’t need to try is another parenting Band-Aid, a quick-fix to hush ‘em up and into bed. What I do need is to think about discipline differently, and author Rebecca Eanes appears to be the mind reader to help me do it. She’s been there, done that in the parenting world. She found herself in a battle of wills with her preschooler when it hit her: I don’t like how we’re fighting—there’s got to be a better parenting style out there for me. Eanes’ research birthed the book Positive Parenting: An Essential Guide, due to be published June 7 by TarcherPerigee publishers. Positive Parenting, a philosophy that emphasizes nurturing each family member, connecting to one another, and pursuing the root of conflicts, has not only empowered Eanes, but also the 722,000 followers of her Facebook page Positive Parenting: Toddlers and Beyond. Parents who visit the page engage in common parenting problems and post questions about behavioral issues.

ideas are research-based, and even better, she’s implemented them with her own children. She asks parents to look at what’s behind their children’s negative behavior. Is to get attention? To ask for quality time? Is it fatigue? Before Eanes overhauled her parenting philosophy, her days were filled with power struggles. She began looking for the reasons behind her son’s behavior. “I realized that I was seeing him incorrectly,” she said. To parent differently, she had to dig deep into her heart to learn why she parented the way that she did. Her research produced exercises that guided her through her reflection. Eanes learned that successful parenting begins with parents’ ability to regulate their emotions. She includes in her book exercises to regain control over your emotions and set a good example. Much of the responsibility for power struggles belongs to parents. Parenting is a joy, but it’s tough. And not every day is bliss. “We’re all botching it up sometimes,” she said. If you feel convicted while reading her book, know that the author gets it. “It took a year [for me] to get used to these ideas. . . . We all have tough days when we’re too reactive, but we keep moving forward,” she said. “There will be mistakes, but we apologize.”

Traditional parenting teaches parents to give knee-jerk reactions to poor behavior. Just give the child a swat, a Photo Courtesy: Amazon.com time-out or a consequence. Eanes said that parents gain traction in educating their children when they focus on the Eanes wrote the book to be a deeper conversation origin of the behavior first, a step that opens doors for understanding between herself and her Positive Parenting community. She digs into and connection. This creates a fertile teaching opportunity for parents the weighty topics, such as when, how and why parents choose to to discuss positive behavior and responsibility. discipline their children. Kids can be defiant, but often it is the parent who has unintentionally stoked the fiery conflict—a point that Eanes But, is Positive Parenting just another anything-goes parenting identifies with as well. “I’m just a parent who has a heart for family connection,” Eanes said. Sure, she offers advice for solving behavioral style? “It is not a permissive approach; It’s teaching children how to accountable and responsible,” Eanes said. problems, but her primary message is that parents should do the selfwork necessary to nurture the family culture. At the end of the day, Eanes said parents know they’ve been successful when they feel at peace, the family is connected, and the kids know Eanes’ book is best read with notebook in hand. She urges you to journal about how your childhood influences your parenting. Her they are loved. 24

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it page and Color this he tured in t can be fea of 017 issue 2 y r a u r b Fe agazine! FAMILY M

NAME: _________________________________________ AGE: ______ ADDRESS: __________________________________________________ CITY: ___________________________ STATE: ______ ZIP: _________ DAY TIME PHONE: __________________________________________ PARENT’S NAME: ___________________________________________ E-MAIL: ____________________________________________________

Color this page and win! The coloring contest winners will be featured in our February 2017 issue of FAMILY Magazine! One winner will be selected from each of the three following age categories: 3-5, 6-9 and 10-12 years of age. For your chance to WIN, color your best picture and mail entries to: MICHIANA FAMILY PUBLISHING • P.O. Box 577 • Granger, IN 46530 • (269) 228-8295. Coloring contest is open to children 12 years and under, and entries must be mailed by December 5th, 2016. Winners will be featured in the February 2017 issue of FAMILY Magazine. Winners' artwork will be featured along with their first name and age. For additional coloring contest entries, this coloring page may be photocopied and printed off. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

D W A J Q U T F B I W G N I A K E Y J K A O Z Z O N S I M U M D S B Y O Q K L I I X K J O Y A M S T K Y Q V U U R P B X M Z N B E S E I R O M E M R A V S A F D L G I K N F I U U K Q L C A P S B A N S D B P K X L A E E K A V K G A L P G V F J R N N W P U T B T P O E Z R B F A L O H K T F L B S A I V P H T U R K E Y U B U Q T G N T O F T Y Q Q L L M T R J F S V X T S R T X E H S N S G A T Y Y A A G A T H E R I N G M U Y Y G E T Z E V Z B C C G I F D V M F N O R E D A R A P L F O Q A U K A E V M R V O Q Y I K C P R H A B S J G Z Q S Z N P T W H G P H Y K P M Z R X G M H S W H Y Z R O N H Y G C Z

Find the words below in the word search puzzle. Words can be forwards, backwards, diagonal, vertical or horizontal. AUTUMN BLESSED BREAD EAT FAMILY 26

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FEAST FOOTBALL GATHERING GOBBLE GRAVY

HARVEST MEMORIES NAPS PARADE POTATOES

PUMPKIN STUFFING THANKSGIVING TURKEY YAMS

FAMILY mommy & daddy

Friendships An Important Investment By: Noelle Elliott

had it so easy in high school. I got to see my friends each and every day. We got to chat on our way to class and eat lunch together five days a week. Now if I want to meet a friend for lunch it requires at least a month of texting trying to figure out a time that works for both of us, then a location and if we actually do end up making it work, it's only for an hour, if we're lucky. At times it feels easier to communicate via text, social media or phone because it doesn't require much planning. As a wife, mother and career woman, I feel like friends are on the bottom of my priority list. I assume they will always be around, and when our lives settle down, we can get together. As least that is the story I keep telling myself. But, that is just a story, not the truth. Friendship is a vital part of our lives and shouldn't be neglected. They are the people we choose to share good times with, that we celebrate milestones with and the people who show up when you face difficult times. It is crucial that you invest in these relationships, not only to make life more enjoyable but to have a safety net when you need a soft place to fall. A friend that I hadn't spoken with in months tragically lost her husband. Despite her family surrounding her, it was her friends that helped her the most. The friends that surrounded her in her darkest moments, and sat with her during the unbearable nights she couldn't bare to be alone. Being a female there is something so deeply special about my time with other women. I know this, because every time I come home after dinner or coffee with a group of women, I feel stronger, more balanced and even happier. Friendships are sugar for the soul.

If you feel that you are missing out or have neglected friends here are A few ideas to rekindle or create friendships. Make the First Step Text a few girlfriends and tell them you want to see them. Please don't make this a group text. Nobody appreciates those. Make the effort to call or text each person individually. Say you miss her and would love to reconnect over drinks, say.. Tuesday. Set the time and place and hope to see them there.

Do Something Different Sign up to do an art class at the South Bend Regional Museum of Art. Most classes meet once a week, and it is a great way to socialize and do something new and fun. Go see a concert, film or play at

the DeBartolo Performing Arts Center. Take a stroll downtown, to see the river lights. Getting out to try something different together is a great way to deepen any relationship.

Invite Someone New Making a new friend as an adult can feel awkward. The only way to do it, is by diving in. If you meet someone at work, or at an exercise class, invite her for coffee or drinks. Say there is a new coffee place or restaurant you have wanted to try and don't want to go alone.

In an age where we communicate virtually through social media, person-to-person interaction is a welcome breath of fresh air. Friendship is something that needs to be cultivated in order to grow. Even if you have been a flakey friend in the past, or have dropped off the radar, it is not too late to get back in the game. It just takes a little extra effort. Friends, whether you have one, or 10 are important to our health. Make friendship a priority and you make yourself a priority in the process.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY mommy & daddy

By: Emily Zander

Start Your Holiday Planning

t's coming. In fact, it's almost here. Can you feel it? That's right, it's almost Christmas!

I know, I know, I said it. Christmas is already here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to jump the gun when it comes to holidays, but Christmas is a little different in my book. I stand firmly in the "every holiday has it's time and place" camp. You won't find me skipping over Thanksgiving. But last year I changed my approach to Christmas a bit. Let me explain. My pre-children self wouldn't even allow the mention of holiday shopping, decorations and plans until the turkey leftovers were at least a few days old. But once I started a family of my own and was the keeper of all things holiday traditions, I knew things had to change. Once my little bundles of joy arrived in my life, even the simplest tasks seem to take forever. Take for instance, the grocery. Getting there and back, with all needed supplies, took an entire day. And maybe two if someone got sick in the cart. On top of work, school and family schedules, fitting in the long list of "holiday to-dos" seems insurmountable in just one short month. Last year I had enough. I wanted to enjoy my favorite time of the year and still do all of the things that made it so special. I wanted to experience it instead of only surviving the holidays in a crazed frame of mind. So I started early. 28

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

Plan Ahead for Holiday Bliss My decorations were still tucked tightly in the correct Christmas bin, but my holiday plans began in November last year. Stress is mentioned more times during the holidays than stockings these days, and I wanted to steer clear of reaching the overwhelmed feeling, if possible. Websters defines stress as "a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc." Christmas is not a problem. But it is a lot of work. The stress comes on when you feel like there is too much to do and not enough time to do it in. But you can change that this year. The first step is making a plan. First off, sit down and make a list of what is important to you and your family during the holidays. Make sure it is what is important to YOU. Not what others tell you should be important. What traditions MUST stay? And which ones are you happy to let go of? What things could you tweak to save time that you could dedicate to something that really is special to you. These are all questions only you can answer. And they are all questions you most likely will not take the time, or have the energy

to think about once the holiday season is in full swing. Once December hits, most will go on holiday auto-pilot. Must buy gifts. Must bake cookies. Must attend parties. So make a list now. Then figure out what supplies or plans you need to make now to ensure the list becomes reality. Last year, my number one priority was doing an advent calendar with my kids. I never did one growing up and had meant to do it for several years, only to realize on December 10th, I still didn't have the things I needed to do it. So, before Thanksgiving I gathered all of my supplies and decided which days would be little gifts and which days we would do something together. I got smart and included special Christmas traditions in the advent calendar, so as not to make even more work for myself. For example, one day the kids pulled out a card that said "make a gingerbread house with Mommy" or "deliver Christmas cookies to neighbors". They were things that we would typically do, but were now centered around the kids. And they loved it. But it WAS a lot of work. It simply would not have happened if I didn't plan for it in advance.

Work Ahead Once you have your plan in hand, work ahead. Maybe you are a pro at picking out gifts all year long. If that's the case, do it. But take it a step farther. Wrap those gifts up too. Let's face it, you can find wrapping paper in stores beginning in October. Get those gifts bundled up in advance. When the tree goes up, all you have to do is arrange them nicely. Can you imagine actually being able to sit down with a cup of hot cocoa and enjoying the sight of your tree with Christmas carols in the background? How does that thought compare to your normal routine of wrapping gifts until 2 a.m. on Christmas morning? Enough said. You know your life best. You know how you work and what works. Try not to listen to what others tell you to do during the holidays-there is plenty of advice out there that may just make you feel like you aren't doing one more thing right. Instead, take some quiet time to think about what you can do in advance that will free up your time to enjoy the special time with your family. You probably won't want to bake your goodies three weeks in advance, but start planning your Christmas card now. If you are really on top of it, stick it in the envelope, put a stamp on it, and feel good that they are ready to go in the mailbox the day after Thanksgiving. Then, cuddle up with your kid and look through a special magazine together to create their wish list. It's those times you will really remember.

Save Time for Spontaneous Memories Last year my plan was working beautifully. Our travel plans were set. The Christmas card was created. Gifts were arriving on our doorstep daily. And our household holiday fun activities were underway. I was feeling pretty good about my attempt to plan ahead and work ahead for the holidays. That's when I noticed an event in the church bulletin for families to make an advent wreath together. I nearly set it aside with my initial thought being "we already know what we're doing this season." Our little family showed up to the event and had a great time making a real evergreen wreath. We met a few faces at our new church and took our creation home. I started looking through the booklet that was given to us and decided we would give it a try that night. It was a hit. My kids loved turning the lights off every night and lighting a candle. My husband even got in to trying to find different versions of the suggested songs on YouTube. We made the nightly ritual even more special with hot cocoa and cookies.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Begin with what is important to you and your family.â&#x20AC;? Looking back on our holiday season last year, it's what everyone remembers. It wasn't what they opened on Christmas morning or where we traveled on what day. We all remember the new tradition we took a chance on. If making a plan for the holidays sounds like something you are ready to try-start now. Begin with what is important to you and your family. Still feel like you need direction on how to get it all done without feeling stressed out at the last minute. There's an online resource dedicated to all things Christmas organization. Go to http://christmas.organizedhome.com. There's even a week-by-week schedule of what you should be accomplishing to get ready for the big day. Most of all, plan to TAKE the time to enjoy the special holiday moments, no matter what may come your way.

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FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

FAMILY fiction

The Diary of a Modern Mom:

The Boogie Conversation By: Meagan Church

Dear Jo, Today you held a discussion with a toddler, an infant and a stuffed animal about the importance of using a tissue. You lined them all up and uttered the words, “Boogies go in tissues, not on couches.” No, this conversation was not a joke.

to her. You both had it memorized, but she didn’t know that. As he began his recitation, her eyes opened in amazement. “When did you learn to read?” she asked him. “Shh. Grandma, it’s time to listen.”

Mom stopped by today, unexpectedly of course. The woman knows how to use a phone, especially in the evenings when you are frantically trying to get a halfway decent and somewhat edible meal on the table. Yet, when she gets an urge to see her grandchildren, she suddenly forgets how to pick up a phone. Of course you had laundry covering most surfaces of the living room. Emerson’s toys covered the other vacant spots. You meant to ask him to put them away, but you hadn’t gotten around to that yet. So, the doorbell rings, in walks Mom and instantly her eyes go to the mess. “Well, it looks like it’s a good thing I stopped by.”

THE

“Oh, sorry. Please, proceed,” she humored him. He was nearly to the end of the book when Mom moved her hand from around Emerson to rest on top of the couch cushion. That’s when she felt it. “What is that?” she asked. Emerson shot her a look, once again annoyed by her interruption. “Hold on, Emerson. There’s something back here. Something…sticky. And wet.”

You hoped that her being there meant that she could watch the kids, while you napped. Or showered. But you knew instead that you would use their occupied time to finish the laundry, clean up the toys and maybe even vacuum.

She placed Lyla under her floor gym, so she could better investigate. That’s when she found a treasure trove of snot.

Mom settled in on the couch with Lyla nestled into one arm and Emerson tucked under the other, holding his favorite Thomas the Train book that he wanted to “read”

“What?! It wasn’t me! I didn’t wipe anything there!”

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

“Oh, Emerson!” Mom said.

So, you and Mom switched places. She took over the laundry for a few minutes, while you addressed the problem at hand…or stuck to hand. You saw the tears welling up in Emerson’s eyes. Mom’s exasperation had already frightened him and you didn’t want him to completely meltdown. So, you manufactured a line up: Emerson, Lyla and Bluey. “One of you has been using the couch in an inappropriate way.” Emerson avoided eye contact. “I believe all of you know that when you have a boogie, it needs to go into a tissue.” Bluely slumped to the side and stared into nothingness. “I don’t know who did this,” you said. Finally Emerson looked at you, believing the words you said. “The couch is a place to sit and rest, not a place to wipe boogies. If this happens again, there will be a punishment.” You heard your mom let out a little huff. Of course she thought the entire line-up was ridiculous and that she believed Emerson needed to “own up” and be disciplined for what he had done. But you know your sensitive boy. Confrontation doesn’t work well with him. “For now, Emerson, I want you to help me clean it off.” “But what about Bluey?” “We’ll put him in time out, so he can think about what he did.” Emerson gladly found a spot for his stuffed friend. Then he helped you clean the disgusting little balls of snot from the couch. From the number you located, he had been doing it for a while. You tried not to think of how you had sat there without knowing what lay behind you. But if there’s one thing you’ve learned in the last three years of parenting, it’s that surprises are around each corner and hidden in dark places. Sometimes being oblivious isn’t a bad thing.

The Diary of a Modern Mom is a serial fiction story written by Meagan Church. Check back each month for the next installment of one mom’s attempt to chronicle what she has been told are the days she shouldn’t forget…spit-up, tantrums, milestones and all. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | NOVEMBER 2016

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