FAMILY Magazine October 2016 by FAMILY Magazines of Michiana

OCTOBER 2016 • Moms Just Know

happy

hello-ween: Social Skills for Trick-or-Treaters

When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Breaking the electronic cycle

colic:

A 4-Letter Word

Serving: Granger • Mishawaka • Elkhart • South Bend • Goshen • Edwardsburg • Middlebury & Surrounding Communities

Introducing this years featured boutiques!

Get your tickets at www.MichianaSassy.com

Contributors President & Publisher:

Sue Heinrich Sue@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com Managing Editor: Jessica Haviland

Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

AD COORDINATOR & INSIDE SALES MANAGER Amanda Oiler

Amanda@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

GRAPHIC DESIGN Manager: Zuzanna Zmud

Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

EVENT COORDINATOR Denise M. Longley

denise@michianafamilymagazine.com

Medical Editor: S. Jesse Hsieh, M.D. Distribution ManagerS: Chad Haviland Family Magazines of Michiana would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@Michianafamilymagazine.com The FAMILY Magazines P.O. Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 269.228.8295 â&#x20AC;˘ FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaMom.com The FAMILY Magazines October 2016 Established in 2006. All rights reserved. Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication.

On the Cover:

FAMILY Magazine's Ad Coordinator & Inside Sales Manager, Amanda Oiler's, beautiful kids, Mason & Madyson, graced the October issue of FAMILY!

Read The FAMILY Magazines online each month! Go to www.MichianaMom.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! Volume 10: Number 8

Find the Hidden Acorn! For your enjoyment and fun!

About the Photographer... As a photographer, my main goal is to connect with each client on an emotional level and bring that to life through an image. I create real moments so the clients can look back on the images and see their authentic selves and a true reflection of how they felt in those moments. While I am based in South Bend, Indiana, I am pleased to offer destination photography all over the globe. For inquiries, please email at baandersonphotography@gmail.com.

TheFamilyMagazineOfMichiana

@FamilyMagazines

www.MichianaMom.com Please use the information compiled by Michiana Family Magazines for your research. Michiana Family Magazines recommends that parents and families interview each business or organization to make sure that it is safe and a good fit for your family. The information presented here and provided by Michiana Family Magazines is for informational purposes only and although every effort has been made to present accurate information, Michiana Family Magazines does not, in any way, accept responsibility for the accuracy of or consequences from the use of this information and/or for the businesses and organizations presented herein. We urge all parents and families to confirm any information given herein through additional research. The views and opinions expressed by the writers, event organizers and advertisers do not necessarily represent those of Michiana Family Publishing LLC, its officers, editors, staff or contributors.

TheFamilyMag THE

FamilyMagazine FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

F R O M T H E P U B LI S H E R

Things We

Love Right Now! (at FAMILY)

an you believe it’s October already? What has happened to the time this year? The weather this summer was so nice and continued so long into September that it doesn’t seem possible that it’s really fall. And, yet it is.

When I think of October, I think of cider and doughnuts, colorful leaves, wood fires in the fireplace and pumpkins. And, of course, the month ends with witches and goblins on Halloween. We are lucky to live in this part of the country where the fall foliage ranges from beautiful to absolutely gorgeous, with brilliant yellows, bright oranges and deep reds. When I lived in Texas, the only trees that changed colors were the Bradford Pears that had been planted on the IBM campus. I really missed the beauty of the maples and oaks and the other trees we have here. The extended summer weather has really delayed the changing leaves this fall. I am usually saddened in August when I spy the first reddish leaves on a tree. This year it was well into September before I saw any. It will be interesting to see what the colors will be this year. It may be Halloween before we see the prime viewing here rather than Columbus Day as usual. And, that could add to the list of reasons why I like Halloween. I think Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. For me it is purely a fun day. No big family dinners to cook, no gifts to buy, no travel necessary, just dress up in costume and eat candy. What could be better? When I lived in Texas, I lived in a development with lots of children. I loved handing out treats to the kids and seeing what crazy costumes they were wearing. Where I live now there are no trick-or-treaters, which is sad. However, I am lucky enough to be invited to an annual Witches Brew where we all dress like witches and do crazy scavenger hunts, have cackling contests and bring Halloween themed treats to eat. If you are out an about in Edwardsburg around Halloween, watch out for the ladies in black pointy hats! As for this month’s issue of FAMILY Magazine, you will find a useful take on Halloween in an article about Social Skills for Trick-or-Treaters. There are also several stories about infant care including ones about colic, Life after the NICU and When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work. And, you will find a recipe for pumpkin bread and several other interesting articles. I hope you enjoy your October and our magazine.

1. Candy 2. S’mores 3. Pet Costumes 4. Handmade Kids Costumes 5. Pumpkin Picking 6. Warm Apple Pie 7. New Fall TV Shows 8. Redecorating A Room In Your Home 9. Knee High Boots 10. Scarves… Tons Of Scarves 11. Haunted Houses 12. Warm Days and Cooler Nights 13. Dark Maroon Nail Polish 14. Apple Cider 15. Bridal and Baby Showers OCTOBER

Check it Out!

2016

R 20

Stand

Guard Au CO Tum

PRotec HealtH t YouR BRe ast eaRlY and oft en

Buttern Squash ut Soup

PAR CkTAinAl Ty l

WHen

Parent

Ti d mATE

EAT Hallo wOR n Cider Onee gA A

niC

K Pa e qu ll i y

hin

lly

dat

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

fre e

Rolesg

BEd REA RO m Om

Ple tak as e e on

NO 49

4Keeps

By: Casey Kiel

Like '4Keeps' on Facebook or visit CaseyKiel.com

FAMILY contributors

Meagan Church is married to her high-school sweetheart and is the mother of 3 kids. She is a writer and children’s book author. She is also the brainpower of the online resource Unexpectant, exploring the realities of birth, babies and beyond.

Jill Lebbin is a wife, mother, craft fanatic and DIY blogger at www.EveryDayisan Occasion.com. She and her husband Marcel have been married for nine years and love living in Granger with their two spunky kids, Marcel Jr. and Lilly.

Reader Testimonials “I love FAMILY Magazine and look forward to reading every new issue that comes out.” – Deeanna R.

Noelle Elliott works in publicity. She is a writer and has been published on several websites and print publications. She is the owner and creator of the esteemed bowchicabowmom.com where she humorously shares the triumphs and failures of raising her four young sons. She is also the creator of the succesful local staged production, The Mamalogues. She happily lives in South Bend.

Cole Pollyea is an aspiring film critic and a senior at Penn High School. Cole is also a loving older brother to three younger siblings.

We’d LOVE to hear from you! CONTACT US AT....jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

“I found a copy of FAMILY Magazine at my local grocery store and gave it to my sisterin-law who is expecting. Now, we both read this magazine and discuss the articles with one another.” – Mindy C.

”The centerfold calendar is always full of fun things to do with your kids, husband and girlfriends!” – Haley B. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

the FAMILY magazine

table

contents Live Your Best 4 From The Publisher 4 Things We Love Right Now 5 4Keeps Comic

Family Movie Review 29 What To Watch And Avoid This Month

5 Contributors & Testimonials

By: Cole Pollyea

8 The FAMILY Month Calendar

Family Craft

18 Centerfold Calendar

Family Book Reviews 7 Why Don’t We All Live Together Anymore

By Dr. Emma Waddington and Dr. Christopher McCurry Reviewed By: Katelynn Rhoton

7 Where She Went

By Gayle Forman Reviewed By: Michael Trout

Family Recipe 9 Pumpkin Bread

By: Katie & Theresa Slott

31 BOO Door Hanger By: Jill Lebbin

Family Kids

10 Happy Hello-Ween: Social Skills For Trick-or-Treaters By: Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D.

12 Breaking the Electronic Cycle By: Noelle Elliott

16 Colic: A 4-Letter Word By: Meagan Church

22 When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work By: Meagan Church

Family Pregnancy 20 Life After The NICU

By: Kerrie McLoughlin

Mommy and Daddy

14 Does Your Smile Need a Fix? By: Ashley Talmadge

24 10 Super Powers Every Mom Wants By: Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D.

28 Dear Mom, Have Less Humility (And More Nutella) By: Meagan Church

Fiction

30 The Diary Of A Modern Mom: The Target Trap By: Meagan Church

FAMILY book review Why Don’t We All Live Together Anymore By Dr. Emma Waddington and Dr. Christopher McCurry Reviewed By: Katelynn Rhoton, Youth Services Assistant, Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library

Have you ever wondered how to handle questions from you child regarding family break-ups? Are you currently going through a separation and/or divorce and struggling to explain to your child the changes that are happening? Then Why Don’t We All Live Together Anymore is an excellent resource for you. Drs. Emma Waddington and Christopher McCurry both specialize in child and family psychology. With the help of illustrator Louis Thomas, the authors give great tips on how to address the variety of questions that will likely arise if a child goes through a family breakup. The authors provide sound advice for adults as well as short, child-friendly stories that adults can share with children in order to help them better understand this new and confusing situation. In addition to providing assistance with answering the difficult questions that will likely arise during this time, the authors have also provided ways for parents and caretakers to start the conversation themselves with children about their feelings regarding a family break-up. This gives adults the opportunity to better understand the multitude of emotions that children are sure to feel throughout this time. This communication also allows parents to stay in control of the situation instead of waiting until these emotions build up in the

child, resulting in an outburst of negative emotions. Throughout the book there is a wealth Photo courtesy: Amazon.com of information. Whether it’s understanding the science of how a child’s brain works when it is under the stress of a new and confusing environment or learning how to approach questions such as “Is it my fault?,” “If Daddy left you, will he leave me?,” and “Why do I have to live with you?” Drs. Waddington and McCurry offer great advice for both children and adults experiencing a family break-up. They also provide a list of additional resources listed in the back of the book that cater to both children and adults. I found Why Don’t We All Live Together Anymore to be a valuable resource for any family going through a break-up. It is available to check-out at the Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library.

FAMILY kids book review

Where She Went By Gayle Forman I recommend the book Where She Went because it is a sequel to If I Stay, but also it is in the setting of three years later after Mia, the main character, wakes up. The book shows how the main character feels about certain people and how she deals with the death or her parents and brother. Another reason I would recommend this book is because how she continued her life even though a very tragic thing happened, she still went sort of back to normal. Mia went to Juilliard and became a successful cellist like she always wanted. While she was in New York, she meets up with her ex-boyfriend and they catch up, but the reason they broke up is because of the tragic accident with Mia and her almost dying in the last book.

Reviewed By: Michael Trout

I again recommend this book because you can really feel the emotion and feeling she had. This book has happy moments, sad moments and frustrated moments. In my opinion I think anyone who liked or loved If I Stay, will fall in love with Where She Went because they are like each other, but not as tragic as the first one. Where She Went is a good book for teens and older people. If you really love reading sad books then look for the If I Stay collection. Photo courtesy: Amazon.com

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

SBCSC Community Fun Fair And Truck Pull 2016, 8:00 A.M., Four Winds Field-South Bend

Granger Fest,

10:00 A.M., Granger Community Church

Elkhart County Bicentennial Torch Relay, 8:30 A.M.,

Tea Time For The Arts 2016, Peppa Pig’s Big 3:00 P.M., Morris Splash Tour, Inn- University Of Notre Dame

Halloween Ghost Train And Fall Festival, 11:30 A.M., Heston Steam Museum-La Porte

6:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center

5:00 P.M., A.M., Four Winds Downtown South Field-South Bend Bend & Goshen

Bicentennial Birthday Bash,

Disney’s Mary Poppins,

26 28

St. Patrick’s County Park-South Bend

The Color Run Tropicolor™ First Fridays, World Tour, 9:00

OCTOBER

Nature MunchkinsOwls, 9:30 A.M.,

Make Your Own Scarecrow, 12:30 P.M., Bendix Woods County Park-Van Paris Shelter-New Carlisle

Fright Lite, 6:30

Gorgeous Gala, 6:00 P.M.,

P.M., PHM Digital Video Theater/ PlanetariumMishawaka

Free Showing Of “Young Frankenstein”, 8:00 P.M., Goshen Theater

Knollwood Country Club-Granger

Halloween Ghost Train And Fall Festival,

Happy Halloween!

DARE Haunted

Hayride, 7:30 P.M., The 11:00 A.M., Bendix 11:30 A.M., Hesston 6:30 P.M., Lerner-Elkhart Woods County ParkSteam Museaum-La Porte Downtown Elkhart Martins-Granger New Carlisle 2 3 5 9 10 12 13 17 18 19 23 24 25 29 30 Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th F Sa Su M Tu W Th Fr Sa Su M

Brownie Bat

Know Your

Truffles

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month! An estimated more than 250,000 women under the age of 40 are diagnosed with breast cancer each year. Know the facts to help with early detection.  Breast cancer does occur in men but the disease is 100 times more common in women.  Most breast cancer (about 85%) occurs in women who have no family history of breast cancer.

 A woman born today has about a one in eight chance of being diagnosed with breast cancer in her lifetime, according to the National Cancer Institute.

 Exercise reduces breast cancer risk for women of all body types.

 Women younger than 40 have a nearly 4.5-fold increased risk of developing another breast cancer.

 Minimize alcohol intake to control your risk.

 Smoking can increase your risk of developing breast cancer.

(Information found at www.cityofhope.org)

Ingredients: - 1 13X9” Pan Fudgy Brownie, Baked & Cooled - ½ Cup Chocolate Frosting - 7 Oreo Cookies, Halved And Stuffing Removed - 11 Oz. Chocolate - 2 Cups Black Sanding Sugars - 28 Royal Icing Eyes Or Red Mini M&Ms Directions: 1. Line baking sheet with parchment and set aside. 2. Crumble brownie by hand and mix in the chocolate frosting and gently knead mixture together until moistened.

Kids' Costumes

3. Using a cookie scoop, put one tablespoon of brownie frosting mixture and roll into small balls. Insert two halved Oreo cookies on either side to create the wings. Place brownie balls on the baking sheet and freeze until firm.

Peter Pan

Harry Potter Dobby

(www.babble.com)

(www.buzzfeed.com)

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Madeline (www.blogs.babycenter.com)

4. Remove balls from the freezer and defrost to room temperature for 15 minutes. Heat chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl in five second bursts until melted. Dip bat brownie truffles in chocolate and dust with black sanding sugar. Decorate with royal icing eyes or mini M&Ms. (Recipe Found At www.delish.com.)

FAMILY recipe

Pumpkin Bread By: Katie & Theresa Slott Time: 15 minutes prep, 50-70 minutes baking Makes: Five Mini Loaves or Two 8.5 X 4.5 Loaves Ingredients: 5 large eggs 1 1/4 cups canola oil 15 oz. pumpkin puree 1 c. all-purpose flour 1 c. white whole wheat flour 2 c. sugar 2 (3 oz.) packages cook-and-serve vanilla pudding mix 1 t. baking soda 1 t. pumpkin pie spice

Tips:

You can also use two 8.5 x 4.5-in. loaf pans. Bake for 60-70 minutes. To cover all combinations, I often bake one 8.5 x 4.5 loaf pan and three 5 Âž x 3-in loaf pans.

1/2 t. salt Steps: In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the eggs. Add the oil and pumpkin puree, continuing to beat until smooth. In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the flours, sugar, pudding mix, baking soda, pumpkin pie spice and salt. In three batches, gradually beat the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture. Pour batter into five 5 Âž x 3-in. mini loaf pans lined with parchment paper. Bake at 325F for 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely.

Katie and Theresa Slott are sisters-in-law who write the food blog, Cooking for the Fam, where they share lots of tips, family-favorite recipes and meal plans. For more recipes like this one, or to see step-by-step photos of this recipe, check out their website, www.cookingforthefam.com. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

FAMILY kids

Happy Hello-ween: Social Skills for Trick-or-Treaters By: Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D.

Kids greet many unknown adults as they make the rounds trick-or-treating. Follow these tips to turn this year’s candy fest into a social-skills training session. Meeting new people doesn’t have to be scary!

Make Eye Contact –

Go With a Group –

Speak Clearly –

Looking others in the eye is a sign of respect and self-confidence. It’s also an important communication skill. Eye contact allows kids to show interest, see the other person’s reaction and take turns in a conversation. Coach kids to look at the treat-giver’s eyes, not at their knees. If you’ll be handing out candy, bend down to make it easier for little kids to connect visually.

Trick-or-treating with friends is safer and a whole lot more fun. Invite neighboring families to go door-to-door with yours, and host a low-key party afterwards. The kids can trade treats while you enjoy a little adult conversation.

The “tr” sound can be troubling for small kids, who often say “Twick or Tweat!” Practice at home before the big day and encourage kids to enunciate both the t and the r sounds (say, “ter”). Reluctant public speakers may be more comfortable in a group, where their voices blend in to the din.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Keep Your Distance – Trick-or-treaters often crowd up front hoping to score their favorite candies. Remind your child that pushing isn’t pleasant. Kids should allow ample personal space to avoid stepping on the Bride of Frankenstein’s dress or jabbing someone with their own costume props.

Make Conversation – People often ask kids questions about their costumes, like, “What are you supposed to be?!” Prep your child to answer these queries. If she struggles to start conversations, coach her to ask about other kids’ costume choices. Complimenting a peer’s appearance is also a positive way to reach out.

Trust Your Gut – Halloween is supposed to be spooky, and kids should tune in to their instincts. Don’t push your child to go into a neighbor’s haunted house or to reach into a coffin for candy, even if you know it’s safe. Reinforce the value of that little voice inside that says “Beware!” It’s okay to back away from frightening situations.

Say “Thank You” – Kids may have more opportunities to practice gratitude on Halloween than on any other night of the year. Don’t let them move from one house to the next until they say “Thank You” loud and clear. Even the ugliest ghouls aren’t too foul for good manners.

FAMILY kids

g n eaki

By: Noelle Elliott

the Electronic Cycle

Last spring we implemented a rule that my sons strongly disliked. We decided that four days a week would be screen free in our home. Screen free to us means that all electronic devices with a screen are turned off. When I was a kid, that would have consisted of two televisions and a home computer. Today it is laptops, televisions, iPods, personal gaming devices and cell phones. We allowed them to agree on which days, but once those days were chosen we stuck to it. To be fair, my son's are all under the age of 13. And, they attend a school where my husband is a teacher. So on most days, they are with one of us at all times. I have explained this to my 13-year-old several times when he tries to argue that he needs cellular to reach me. I didn't need to look too far to discover where my children had picked up this dependency on screens. I was just as bad. When they were little, Facebook and texting were my only source of social interaction. My husband would tease me, saying that my phone is an additional appendage on my body. He was right. I carried my phone with me everywhere, even at home and my children picked up on it. A few years ago they received iPod Touches for Christmas, and it didn't take long to discover that they had picked up my phone habits. I knew that if we were going to create this rule, that we had to follow it too. I will admit, it was hard for me at first. I found myself sneaking into the bathroom to return a text or to check my social media. But the more I discovered that my children were positively interacting with each other, and using their imagination to occupy their minds rather than a game or an app; I decided I should make a better effort to do the same. But, it wasn't a seamless transition. It has been about six months since we began this, and I have learned a few helpful tips along the way.

Set Rules Together Rather than telling your child there is a new rule they have to follow, have an open discussion where they can express their concerns. Then agree on a rule that is realistic to work with.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Have A Backup Plan If you depend on your children being occupied with screens while you run errands or make dinner, have other options. Ask them to help you cook. Have a family game night.

Prepare For Boredom Being bored is not the end of the world. Despite what my boys may tell you. It is in those times of desperation that they become their most creative.

Turn Electronics Off In The car This is a rule that we are firm with. Distracted driving leads to 1.6 million crashes a year. Unless we are using an app for directions, my phone is in my purse in the backseat. I use this opportunity to talk with my kids and discuss the scenery or count cyclists or motorcyclists. This way they will learn to notice and become aware of their surroundings. I hope this leads to lifelong habits for them when they become adults.

Get Outside Encourage your child to explore nature or take a walk. With the fresh air and exercise, they won't have time to miss their apps.

This is a relatively new parenting challenge that did not exist 10 years ago. Electronics are not bad and can be extremely helpful. And, they are not going away soon. Learning how to teach our children to moderate themselves with this challenge, can lead to helping them cope with other potentially addictive patterns as they grow into adults. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

FAMILY mommy & daddy

Does Your Smile Need a Fix?

Orthodontists Aren’t Just for Kids! By: Ashley Talmadge

s a child, Tina McDermott received dental advice that was commonly given in the ‘80s. “My teeth weren't horribly crooked,” she says, “so my dentist told my mom that I didn't need braces, and that I could keep my wisdom teeth.” Once considered to be primarily cosmetic, orthodontic treatment is now seen as a way to preserve dental health.

Questions to Ask the Orthodontist at Your First Visit: 1. What potential problems have you identified? 2. What is the likely outcome if I choose not to have treatment? 3. What treatment options do I have? 4. Please describe the treatment plan(s), step by step. 5. How long will treatment take?

A couple of years ago, McDermott’s dentist suggested that in addition to getting her wisdom teeth pulled, she should consider braces to avoid future dental problems. “I’d always wished my teeth were straighter and that I didn’t have an overbite,” she says, “but I didn’t seriously consider treatment until I learned I might need dentures if I didn’t.” According to a 2013 patient survey by the American Association of Orthodontists (AAO), the number of adults undergoing orthodontic treatment is on the rise. Nationally, adults now comprise more than 20 percent of orthodontic patients. Orthodontist Dr. Charles Cooley says adults make up about 40 percent of his practice. Half these adults are self-referrals. “They’ve already gotten treatment for their kids, and have decided it’s their turn,” says Cooley. The other half are referred by dentists who see a breakdown of dentition resulting from a poor bite. “When I correct the bite,” says Cooley, “ the longevity of dental restorations, such as crowns and caps, will be greater.”

6. What outcome can I reasonably expect? 7. What is the total cost of treatment? How much will my insurance cover? Do you offer a payment plan for the remainder?

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Dental health and cosmetic appearance are not separate issues. Orthodontist Dr. Scott Hood says, “The understanding of what orthodontic treatment can do, both aesthetically and functionally, has increased among the general public as well as the dental community. Today there is much collaboration among dentists, orthodontists,

periodontists and oral surgeons to ensure a healthy and cosmetically appealing outcome for the patient.” While conceding that patients are often motivated by appearance, Cooley adds, “There’s rarely a treatment I will do purely for cosmetic reasons. I want to treat the patient for function. The better your teeth function, the better position they’re in, and the better it’s going to look.” Adults who seek orthodontic treatment may come with specific concerns, or even fears. Number one, Cooley says, is pain. “Adults still remember when their friends went in to have their wires tied, and all the headgear,” he says. “But the new technology and new metals have changed all that.” Innovations such as temperature-sensitive wires, gradual computer-generated adjustments and temporary anchoring devices (TADs), have made severe mouth pain and bloody gums things of the past. And, often such hightech wizardry means less time in the chair, and more time between visits. The AAO survey suggests that 70 percent of adults are concerned about the appearance of braces and other dental appliances. But such apprehensions tend to dissipate quickly once the patient begins treatment. Orthodontia has become much less conspicuous over the last few decades, and a plethora of “invisible” options has brought more adults to the office. In addition to traditional metal braces, orthodontists offer: ceramic/clear brackets designed to blend better with tooth color, lingual braces positioned on the back (tongue side) of teeth, and clear aligners, which are custom made removable “trays.”

Orthodontic treatment can often remain a “secret” between patient and provider— until friends notice the new and improved smile!

Modern Options for Braces

There are financial concerns as well. The average cost of orthodontic treatment is $4500-$6500. Even with dental insurance, the patient’s out-of-pocket expense can be significant. Hood says, “A few patients pay up front, but most make monthly payments based on treatment time as well as treatment costs. Most orthodontists offer in-house financing, as well as ‘CareCredit’ type financing options.” McDermott stresses the importance of interviewing several orthodontists before choosing one. Most provide a free consultation, during which the prospective patient receives a comprehensive exam, diagnosis, options for treatment, and answers to any questions. Hood says online sources can provide good preparation. “The higher the patient’s dental IQ the better they understand the process and what to expect during treatment as well as the final outcome,” he says.

Ceramic/clear Contour, InVu, Reflections

Self-ligating Damon System, SmartClip, SPEED

Lingual Incognito, In-Ovation L, Harmony

As for McDermott’s outcome? “ I couldn't be happier,” she says. “My treatment is coming to a close, and my teeth look so much better. They’re straight, and even more important, healthy. It’s no small thing to keep your teeth for life!”

Invisible aligner Invisalign, Clear Correct, Simpli5

Curious? Intro to Orthodontics at: mylifemysmile.org (AAO site) bracesinfo.com (FAQ: Adult Orthodontic Treatment)

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

FAMILY kids

Colic. It’s a four-letter word. Or at least it should be.

: Colic

A 4-Letter Word By: Meagan Church

My son is a decade away from having been a colicky baby, yet when I hear that word, I am instantly transported back to those feelings of frustration and overwhelm that I experienced during those witching hours with him. “Why won’t he stop crying?” I asked. “Just to go sleep,” I pleaded. And yet the crying continued. He entered the world crying and spent the first hour after birth that same way. He demanded frequent nursing, constant holding and tight swaddling. But even that would only last for so long. And then the evening would come. Regardless of when his last feeding was or how well he had napped through the days, he would fuss and cry and be inconsolable for an hour or more each evening. Every evening. For weeks on end. We heard all the advice. We tried all the tricks. We swaddled, shushed and swayed just like Dr. Harvey Karp suggested. We went for walks outside (when it wasn’t too cold). We dimmed the lights to make the environment calmer. We did our best to make sure he napped during the day to promote good sleep at night. We gave him gas drops and pacifiers and soothing baths. They didn’t work. What finally worked? Time. That was it. That was the only solution. He eventually grew out of it, much to our relief. When his youngest sister carried on his tradition, we tried all the remedies with her as well, but the only real solution was time. So, to any parent out there who knows what colic is, let me first say, I am sorry. I feel your pain. Truly. And I know all that advice you’ve read hasn’t worked. I’m not sure what I’m about to say will work either, but I hope it at least offers you a bit of comfort during those witching hours.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Meet your baby’s needs. First of all, make sure that your baby is fed, has a clean diaper and isn’t in any sort of pain. Once you know that she is fine and that you’ve met all her needs, find the best way you can to comfort her. Comforting may not mean stopping the crying, but just support her and make her feel safe. For my babies, that meant holding, walking, bouncing, singing and rocking. For a friend’s baby, that meant putting him in a crib by himself where he would wind down after a couple of minutes.

Remain calm. I know it’s not easy. Hearing your baby cry ignites primal instincts in you to figure out how to make him stop. Surely he needs something from you! But what he needs most is for you to be calm even when he’s not. Know that as long as his needs have been met and that he’s feeling well, the best you can offer him is a calm presence.

Find support.

“Let’s face it; we all get to the

Let’s face it; we all get to the end of our rope at some point. That’s when you need support. Well, actually you need the support before the end of the rope. If you’re exhausted and upset, tap out for the night or at least for a few minutes. Hand the baby to your partner, parent, friend, neighbor, babysitter or someone else who can take over, while you take a break.

end of our rope at some point.”

Walk away. If you find yourself overwhelmed, alone and angry, place the baby in a safe environment, such as her crib and walk away for a few minutes. It is better to leave her crying in a safe space, while you calm yourself, than it is to allow your frustrations to harm the baby.

Your Opportunity to Give the Gift of Education. Wondering what to give the young people you care about so much? Ugift is a tax-advantaged opportunity for family and friends to make a contribution into a special child’s CollegeChoice 529 savings account. Your gift may earn a tax credit of up to $1,000 per year, and you can make a contribution for special occasions – or any time.

Ugift Is A Gift That Will Last An easy, free way to make a meaningful gift toward education – one they won’t outgrow.

Give it time. When I think back to those evenings spent walking and shushing and singing through the cries, I see a lot of darkness. Yes, part of that is because the colic always came in the evening and into the night. But also because I remember those feelings of frustration and failure. Those hours and evenings seemed to last an eternity. But they didn’t. They passed with time. And so will yours.

Learn how at www.collegechoicedirect.com/ugift For more information about the CollegeChoice 529 Direct Savings Plan (“CollegeChoice 529”), call 1.866.485.9415 or visit www.collegechoicedirect.com to obtain a Disclosure Statement, which includes investment objectives, risks, charges, expenses, and other important information; read and consider it carefully before investing. Ascensus Broker Dealer Services, Inc. (“ABD”) is Distributor of CollegeChoice 529. If you are not an Indiana taxpayer, consider before investing whether your or the beneficiary’s home state offers any state tax or other benefits that are only available for investments in such state’s qualified tuition program. CollegeChoice 529 is administered by the Indiana Education Savings Authority (Authority). ABD, the Program Manager, and its affiliates, have overall responsibility for the day-to-day operations, including investment advisory, recordkeeping and administrative services, and marketing. CollegeChoice 529’s Portfolios invest in: (i) mutual funds; or (ii) an FDIC-insured omnibus savings account held in trust by the Authority at Sallie Mae Bank. Except for the Savings Portfolio, investments in CollegeChoice 529 are not insured by the FDIC. Units of the Portfolios are municipal securities and the value of units will vary with market conditions. Investment returns will vary depending upon the performance of the Portfolios you choose. Except to the extent of FDIC insurance available for the Savings Portfolio, depending on market conditions, you could lose all or a portion of your money by investing in CollegeChoice 529. Account Owners assume all investment risks as well as responsibility for any federal and state tax consequences. Ugift is a registered service mark of Ascensus Broker Dealer Services, Inc. All other marks are the exclusive property of their respective owners. Not FDIC-Insured (except for the Savings Portfolio). Savings Not FDIC-insured (except for the Savings Portfolio). No Bank, State or Federal Guarantee. May Lose Value. * Indiana taxpayers are eligible for a state income tax credit of 20% of contributions to their CollegeChoice 529 account, up to $1,000 credit per year. This credit may be subject to recapture from the account owner (not the contributor) in certain circumstances, such as rollover to another state’s 529 plan or non-qualified withdrawal.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Oktoberfest Begins

Rum Village Nature Center-South Bend

The Long Way â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Round, 2:00 P.M.,

Techies Day

11:30 A.M., Robinson Community Learning CenterSouth Bend

Talk With Your Baby,

Downtown Elkhart

Elkhart County Bicentennial Torch Relay, 8:30 A.M.,

The Purple Porch Co-opSouth Bend

8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish AcresNappanee

Fiddler On The Roof,

Market Night, 4:30 P.M.,

Morris Inn- University Of Notre Dame

Tea Time For The Arts 2016, 3:00 P.M.,

LoveWay, Inc.-Middlebury

Ride-A-Thon, 7:00 A.M.,

11:00 A.M., Bendix Woods County ParkNew Carlisle

Bicentennial Birthday Bash, Downtown Bremen

Oktoberfest, 5:00 P.M.,

The Color Run Tropicolorâ&#x201E;˘ World Tour, 9:00 A.M., Four Winds Field-South Bend

First Fridays,

Granger Community Church

Granger Fest, 10:00 A.M.,

8:00 A.M., St. Joseph County Fairgrounds

Tiny Treasure Trove Michiana Fall Consignment Event,

Four Winds Field-South Bend

SBCSC Community Fun Fair And Truck Pull 2016, 8:00 A.M.,

5:00 P.M., Downtown South Bend & Goshen

"There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch." ~Robert Brault

October

2016

Get connected to our online calendar at MichianaMom.com to see additional events and submit events of your own!

Want to check out even more things to do in Michiana?

Downtown Bremen

Oktoberfest, Noon,

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

Nature Center-South Bend

The Beauty Of Autumn 2, 2:00 P.M., Rum Village

11:30 A.M., Hesston Steam Museum-La Porte

Train And Fall Festival,

23 Halloween Ghost

The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times, All Day,

South Bend Civic Theatre

Conor McPherson’s “The Weir”, 2:00 P.M.,

Bendix Woods County ParkVan Paris Shelter-New Carlisle

Make Your Own Scarecrow, 12:30 P.M.,

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Columbus Day

5:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental City

Meditation Yoga,

Hospital-St. Joseph, MI

Happy Halloween!

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

2016 Breastfeeding Class, 3:15 P.M., Lakeland

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

10 Morris Performing Arts Center

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

NOV 1

The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times, All Day,

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

11:30 A.M., Robinson Community Learner CenterSouth Bend

Talk With Your Baby,

Peppa Pig’s Big Splash Tour, 6:00 P.M.,

The Moody Blues,

6:00 P.M., St. Joseph County Public Library-South Bend

Talk With Your Baby,

7:30 P.M., Morris Performing Arts center-South Bend

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

PHM Digital Video Theater/ Planetarium-Mishawaka

Fright Lite, 6:30 P.M.,

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

8:00 P.M., The Round Barn Theatre At Amish AcresNappanee

The Miracle Worker,

6:00 P.M., St. Joseph County Public LibrarySouth Bend

5:00 P.M., St. Patrick’s County Park-South Bend

Guided Park Hikes,

Talk With Your Baby,

Nature Munchkins-Owls,

The History MuseumSouth Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times, All Day,

Peace Lutheran School-Granger

3 Together Time, 8:30 A.M.,

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

Martins-Granger

DARE Haunted Hayride, 6:30 P.M.,

Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton Teas, 2:00 P.M., The History

7:00 P.M., Morris Performing Arts Center-South Bend

The Newsboys,

Museum-South Bend

Dressing Downton Teas, 2:00 P.M., The History

9:30 A.M., St. Patrick’s County Park-South Bend

South Bend Civic TheatreSouth Bend

Annual Dinner,

6:00 P.M., The History Museum-South Bend

Conor McPherson’s “The Weir”, 7:30 P.M.,

Sing-Along And S’mores Hayride,

Goshen Theater

Downtown South Bend & Goshen

The History MuseumSouth Bend

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times, All Day,

First Fridays, 5:00 P.M.,

8:00 P.M., Goshen Theater

Free Showing Of “Young Frankenstein”,

5:00 P.M., The History Museum-South Bend

Mystery At The Mansion: Inside Job,

Community Center-Mishawaka

Ghouls And Goodies-Goodies And Crafts, 2:00 P.M., Battell

6:00 P.M., Knollwood Country Club-Granger

Gorgeous Gala,

5:00 P.M., The History Museum-South Bend

Mystery At The Mansion: Inside Job,

6:00 P.M., Bendix Woods County Park: Runnels ShelterNew Carlisle

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times, All 4th Annual Clark Run,

2:00 P.M., The History MuseumSouth Bend

Dressing Downton Teas,

Saint Anthony de Padua’s AuditoriumSouth Bend

Tail Waggin’ Hayride,

1:00 P.M., Bendix Woods county ParkOtahnagon Area-New Carlisle

Saint Anthony’s 24th Annual Holiday Craft Bazaar, 8:30 A.M.,

Hotel California,

7:30 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

Museum-La Porte

Halloween Ghost Train And Fall Festival, 11:30 A.M., Hesston Steam

Bonneyville Mill County Park-Bristol

Haunted Hill Half Marathon, Terrible 10K, Frightenting 5K, 8:30 A.M.,

Here Come The Mummies: Love Fest Tour, 8:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart

All Day, The History Museum-South Bend

Museaum-La Porte

Dressing Downton: Changing Fashion For Changing Times,

Halloween Ghost Train And Fall Festival, 11:30 A.M., Hesston Steam

9:30 A.M., The Stanley Clark School-South Bend

Day, The History Museum-South Bend

The Lerner-Elkhart

Free Showing Of “Rocky”, 8:00 P.M.,

Ice Box- South Bend

Disney’s Mary Poppins, 7:30 P.M.,

7:00 P.M., Hall Of Heroes Super Hero Musuem-Elkhart

Hall Of Villains Haunted House,

Heston Steam Museum-La Porte

Halloween Ghost Train And Fall Festival, 11:30 A.M.,

Learn To Skate USA With Irish Figure Skating Club, 5:30 P.M.,

5:00 P.M., St. Patrick’s County Park: Brown Barn-South Bend

Fall Paddles And Pastries Kayak Trip,

FAMILY pregnancy

Life After the

NICU

ou’d think that once a family got home with their neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) baby they would be home free, right? After all, their baby isn’t hooked up to multiple monitors, doesn’t have IVs sticking out of every part of its body and the parents don’t have to travel to and from the hospital every day anymore. So why do the parents still seem so stressed out? Read on to find out about some special challenges of and how to take care of these special parents and babies.

By: Kerrie McLoughlin

“Having your child in the NICU is nothing less than terrifying.”

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Depending on how long their baby was in the NICU and how much care was involved, parents are now 100% responsible for their baby’s care. This may involve dealing with oxygen equipment, feeding tubes, medicines and more. This might mean the parents have to intricately plan any outings, and they may get cabin fever. The mother is dealing with healing and hormones from giving birth, and now she has more stressors, like how to keep track of all the postNICU instructions, as well as dealing with everything at home. Other stressors include older children, chores, meals, visitors, follow-up medical visits, how to pay all the medical bills, the possibility of returning to work, etc. Parents of NICU babies have come close to experiencing the death of a child, one of the most difficult things a person can go through, so being sensitive to that fact can go a long way with the parents. Dr. Kristie McNealy, mother of a preemie, shared on her blog KristieMcNealy.com, “In between and long after our respiratory issues improved, there were other x-rays, scans and procedures to deal with, development to monitor and sensory issues to help her deal with. There seemed like there was always something to worry about, and that was something people on the outside of our family didn’t understand very well. After all, she looked healthy, and people didn’t get much past evaluating her in terms of how well she had caught up in growth before determining that I was both over protective and at least a little neurotic.” Regarding the sensitivity of mothers specifically, Dr. Shawn Willson, Director of Women’s Mental Health at Overland Park Regional Medical Center and CEO of The Purple Door says, “Having your child in the NICU is nothing less than terrifying. Parents are thrown into a state of ‘survival’ which pushes the gas pedal for adrenaline, … This adrenaline usually continues in about 35% of the parents once they leave the NICU but often goes unappreciated. This continued adrenaline impairs the parent and is referenced clinically as a diagnosis of Acute Stress Disorder (two days to four weeks) or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) (greater than three months).” Of course it is imperative that a mother seek professional help if she finds herself experiencing this. Jennifer G. of Dallas, Texas shares her personal experience that she hopes will help friends and family members of NICU parents try to understand: “When our son was born 10 weeks early … we were beyond scared. He was our first child, so we had no benchmark to compare to the situation at hand. More importantly none of our family or friends had a benchmark for a premature child versus a ‘normal child’ so they just didn’t understand our new reality. Most

people felt we were constantly overreacting to simple things like hand washing, covering coughs or asking people not to bring their young children to the hospital or our house when we got home. That never stopped me from standing my ground though because those same people did not sit in a large NICU unit with 10 tiny baby beds, where newborns were tied to hundreds of wires, monitors, breathing apparatus and more. They did not rock their baby as they listened to the monitor down the way screech a warning, then be shuffled out of the unit while the nurses dealt with a child who would not see the start of another day.” Jennifer also shares something she likes to call “support fatigue.” “Everyone is quick to come to your aid, to bring meals, to call and check on you, etc., but when your issue lasts longer than a funeral and typical ‘mourning period’ (about a week) or birth and ‘adjustment period’ (again, about one week), it’s easy to be forgotten. It’s not that anyone has stopped loving you and your family, but their priorities have to be with their own family. Their own life has to go on …” If you’d like to help these NICU families, keep the help, comfort meals and other forms of support coming as much as you can. Just as when the baby was in the NICU, keep the Care Calendar (CareCalendar.org) active and make sure as many people as possible know about it. Offer to watch the baby while the parents run out for a cup of coffee. Expect them to give you many instructions for Baby’s care; just don’t expect them to be gone long!

“If you’d like to help these NICU families, keep the help, comfort meals and other forms of support coming as much as you can.”

Treat a new NICU mom very carefully. We all know having a baby takes a toll on life, sleep, body, mind and more, so having been through a NICU experience is like postchildbirth on Red Bull! Don’t be offended if the parents ask you to not visit yet or to wash your hands right after coming into the home. They have just been through a lifechanging experience and certainly don’t want to return to the NICU because someone with a cold gave it to their baby. A listening ear is helpful at this point, as well, and can go a long way toward relieving some of the parents’ stress (yes, dads get stressed, too; they just tend to internalize it).

FAMILY kids

When

breastfeeding Doesn’t Work By: Meagan Church

Sometimes best laid intentions still don’t mean a successful journey. 22

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

When Michelle Soike was pregnant with her first child, she knew she had a lot of things to figure out, but how she would feed her baby wasn’t one of them. “When I was pregnant with Colby, I was so determined that I would nurse him that I didn’t even buy bottles,” she said. “I thought why would I give him formula when my body will make what he needs? Well, that didn't go as planned.”

Though Dana initially felt upset and helpless, over time her feelings changed. “My first baby was extremely attached to me in a very dramatic way. I never really had a break and it was very draining. But with my second baby, there wasn't that extreme attachment because my husband and I could both share in feeding her. I found peace with it all knowing she was going to be okay and so was I.”

After Colby was born, Michelle tried breastfeeding him, but her supply could not keep up with his demand. “I could only produce half-an-ounce per side. I was told to keep nursing him and pump after each feeding. I was devastated, angry and just hated everything. I sat and cried every time I had to pump, seeing how little my body was giving him.”

Abigail Bauer experienced much the same. “I was hoping to breastfeed for at least six months. I was very disappointed I didn't get the proper help in the hospital and that formula was forced on us because my daughter weighed only four pounds, 11 ounces at birth. I was very uneducated about breastfeeding and needed help.”

Due to her low supply, Colby lost weight and had to go for weekly weight check-ups at the doctor. Eventually he stopped wanting to nurse at all. “He wouldn't even latch anymore. He would cry when I would put him to my breast.“

While Abigail didn’t receive the help she had hoped for in the hospital, she did have a lot of support from her husband, family and online breastfeeding groups. “I think overall that's what kept me from getting too upset for not being able to breastfeed as planned.”

Michelle felt confused and alone. “Nobody expected this to happen. My mom didn't know what to do. My doctor at the time made me feel like a horrible mother. I was so wrapped up in being new to this that I didn't know what to do next. So I quit!” After that experience, Michelle did not try to breastfeed her second child. She nursed her third child for three months before her supply dropped again. “My supply just stopped. So in the end I used formula with all my babies. I hated it. It wasn't natural and was beyond expensive! I still feel as though I failed my kids not being able to produce. Maybe that feeling will never go away even though I see they are strong and for the most part healthy.” Michelle is not unique in her experience. As the benefits of breastfeeding become more known and support more available, many women plan to give their babies breast milk, but sometimes their best laid intentions still don’t mean a successful journey. Dana Hooton also struggled with nursing. She breastfed her first baby and assumed she would do the same with her second, but when her milk wouldn’t come in and her baby wouldn’t latch, her hopes for breastfeeding diminished. “There was a rush of negative thoughts about being inadequate for months,” Dana said. “I gave her formula which she was fine with.”

When it comes to giving new moms advice on what to do when breastfeeding doesn’t go as planned, Michelle said, “I would tell a new mom to not give up too soon. Take all the help from experienced moms who have nursed!”

“Don't stress. There's more than one way to feed a baby. But when breastfeeding just won’t work, Dana said, “Don't stress. There's more than one way to feed a baby. Let the baby be part of the feeding solution. You can plan, plan, plan, but it really comes down to working together to find the best way to be happy and healthy together.” Abigail echoes that same advice, “Don't stress about it not going how you planned and never feel guilty. The most important thing is that the baby is fed and the mom is healthy. It doesn't matter how.”

FAMILY mommy & daddy By: Heidi Smith Luedtke, Ph.D.

10 Super Powers

Every Mom Wants

ven when I'm not wearing my Halloween Super-Mom cape, my kids think I have special powers, like eyes in the back of my head and ultra-sensitive hearing. It’s true that my ears are practically bionic: Despite years of sleep deprivation, I wake up every time a kid coughs.

But, I’d gladly trade my extraordinary ears for these super powers. And I bet you would, too. 1. The ability to stop time for 20 minutes so we can savor a child’s latest achievement or shave our legs without interruption. 2. Selective memory that gives us total recall for happy, carefree moments and amnesia for major meltdowns (theirs and ours). 3. A magic wand that instantly heals scraped knees and hurt feelings. 4. Insight that allows us to know what our kids really want to say but don’t. 5. The capacity to step back and see our kids the way their wise, loving grandparents see them. 6. The power to be two (or three) places at once, like your son’s hockey game, your daughter’s dance recital and your boss’s project planning meeting. 7. Patience to let kids learn their own life lessons even when we could fix things in half the time with a lot less drama. 8. A secret language for sharing our deepest feelings so kids know how much we really love them. 9. The ability to slip into silly mode alongside our kids without worrying about public humiliation or our too-long to-do lists. 10. A good fairy who pops in to reassure us when mistakes or selfdoubt make us feel like not-so-super moms. 24

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

it page and Color this he tured in t can be fea ue r 2016 iss Decembe ! Magazine of FAMILY

NAME: _________________________________________ AGE: ______ ADDRESS: __________________________________________________ CITY: ___________________________ STATE: ______ ZIP: _________ DAY TIME PHONE: __________________________________________ PARENT’S NAME: ___________________________________________ E-MAIL: ____________________________________________________

Color this page and win! The coloring contest winners will be featured in our December 2016 issue of FAMILY Magazine! One winner will be selected from each of the three following age categories: 3-5, 6-9 and 10-12 years of age. For your chance to WIN, color your best picture and mail entries to: MICHIANA FAMILY PUBLISHING • P.O. Box 577 • Granger, IN 46530 • (269) 228-8295. Coloring contest is open to children 12 years and under, and entries must be mailed by October 24, 2016. Winners will be featured in the December 2016 issue of FAMILY Magazine. Winners' artwork will be featured along with their first name and age. For additional coloring contest entries, this coloring page may be photocopied and printed off. THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

S X H E M W S T V I C Q N S H K K A G D O K N B J S C N G O F B U F Z R N N I B A I A R U O Y N K K C T S E L K O V T S H T T Q J E J P T P B G L T E S X E Z G R O A M E J O G F D A C D T G A U U Q Z R O G L P L H A H G C P L N O D S V M P B O O R Y S H X E C L U N E Y G S O D Y Y L S M T M G B K S T K N I W X N J V T W Q F P J Y A E E C O S T U M E S I C B C N G S E R I P M A V D B K S M B N Y Y W N S W G E C J A W J G A I G O O F T R Y F D V J I D R E O U Y L S A S U G A R R W O M B M C Q L X T T B M L N I E T S N E K N A R F A H L H C T I W E I P P M H A T B U S U O A L J O Y D D Z A L Z F

Find the words below in the word search puzzle. Words can be forwards, backwards, diagonal, vertical or horizontal. BATS BOO CANDY CAT COSTUMES FRANKENSTEIN 26

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

FULL GHOST GOBLINS HALLOWEEN HAUNTED HOUSE

MONSTERS MOON ORANGE PUMPKINS SCARECROW SCARY

SPIDERS SUGAR VAMPIRE WITCH

www.goodwill-ni.org

“I was arrested more times than I can remember. I lost my freedom, my family… I almost lost my life. But mom never gave up on me. Not many stories like mine have happy endings. My future began when Goodwill helped me find a job. That’s how your donation to Goodwill changes lives.” Janie

FAMILY mommy & daddy

All Mom's Can Use A Bit Of Encouragement!

Dear Mom,

Have Less Humility

(and more Nutella)

Dear Mom, Before becoming a parent, I realized there would be plenty of things I'd have to teach my kids, including how to use a toilet, how to feed themselves, how to have my coffee ready and waiting for me in the morning. But what I didn't account for was that I would need to teach them to be humble. My preschooler especially needs a lesson in this. Case in point, when she joined the swim team a few months ago, she wasn’t capable of supporting herself in the water without a floaty. Even still, she seemed to think she was on par with Katie Ledecky. Our neighbor asked her how swim was going and she quickly responded with, "My coach says I'm really good."

Then a few nights later, we took her to an open house at the school she would be attending. She spent some time exploring the classroom with the teacher. When we asked her what she thought of the class, school, teacher, etc., she said, "They are excited to have me."

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

Let's just say we don't need to work on her self-confidence. As we contemplate how to teach her to dial up the humility, I realize that perhaps we moms need to follow her example. Because seriously, moms are the worst at accepting compliments. Compliment: “Your hair looks great!” Reply: “Really? I haven’t showered for

days.” Compliment: “I saw you out on a run this morning. Nicely done!” Reply: “Well, I figured I had to since I ate an entire jar of Nutella last night.” Compliment: “Those are great leggings you have on.” Reply: “I’ve slept in them for the last three nights. Maybe more.”

My seven-year-old wrote me a letter where she said how thankful she is for me and how much she hopes she can be a mom just like me when she grows up. Melt. My. Heart. At least for a second.

Then I started thinking of all my shortcomings. Well, hopefully she won't be like me in this regard, or that. Hopefully she'll be more compassionate and less irritated by interruptions... But you know what? Yes, I have shortcomings, but I also have good points, and, like the four-year-old, I need to own and celebrate those good things. Instead of not knowing how to accept a compliment without a sprinkling of self-deprecation, I need to own my strengths and be proud of them. Perhaps I don't need to be quite as self assured as my youngest is, but maybe there is a balance between proclaiming to all of social media that I'm the World’s Best Mom because my seven-year-old wrote me a letter and cringing to myself when she says she wants to be like me. So, let’s make this agreement: let’s celebrate our successes more. Let’s accept compliments without feeling the need to downplay them. Let’s own our accomplishments and find reasons to be proud of ourselves…even when we eat an entire jar of Nutella.

FAMILY movie review By: Cole Pollyea

What to Watch And Avoid This Month

n the month of October, we find ourselves in a seasonal period of movie-going that is characterized by a transition. We are recovering from the big-budget productions of the summer that may or may not have been well-received, and we’re looking to the future: Oscar season, starting traditionally in the month of November. With this period of transition comes uncertainty in the movies we decide to watch on our cherished movie nights, which only come (in some cases) as few as once every seven evenings. In the midst of this confusion, what you can be certain about are the two movies I am about to discuss: one to watch and one to avoid. I grew up watching the 1967 cartoon version of The Jungle Book and absolutely adored it. I went so far as to name my family’s first cat after the villain of the film, Shere Khan. Jump ahead 15 years (my cat is an old timer) and we get a 2016 adaptation from Walt Disney that is far more ambitious than its predecessor(s). Although many have already seen it, I saw it for the first time just recently as it was released onto DVD in late August. And what an unveiling that was. With an A-List cast of Bill Murray, Ben Kingsley, Idris Elba, Scarlett Johansson and even Christopher Walken, our characters are brought to life with expert voicing in addition to exuberant CGI effects and flawless writing. In short, The Jungle Book (2016) sets the standard for animated films in terms of enjoyment and expertise. But, what’s truly amazing about it is that it develops and enriches the classic story in such a way that this will undoubtedly become the preferred version. That is, in today’s world, seldom seen. A definite candidate for best animated feature, I view The Jungle Book as the best family film of the year so far. My grandfather, upon being asked if he was going to see the new Clint Eastwood film, Sully, responded with a sharp and closeminded, “Why would I? I already know that he lands the plane on the Hudson. What else is there?” Had I heard his response before seeing the movie, I would have rolled my eyes. But I didn’t–I heard it after seeing it. And I laughed heartily. Why? Because Sully is terrible. My grandpa was right. There is no genuine reason to see it unless you didn’t know that a plane was landed on the Hudson River in New York or unless you aren’t able to visualize how that could happen. Sully’s biggest problem is its inept screenplay, whose inefficient dialogue would be more suitable if the main characters were 60 year olds. Added to that is a fundamental lack of material–the four minute crash sequence was played three or four times. Clocking in at 96 long minutes, Sully would have fared better as a Lifetime special at half of its theatrical running time. The only thing that the movie has going for it is Tom Hanks’ acting genius. But what could have assisted him in making it somewhat bearable is a decent musical score. There are only two or three scenes in which music is being played–but to no effect. So, if you find yourself wanting to watch a newer film in between viewings of The Exorcist and Halloween, check out the Jon Favreau directed masterpiece, The Jungle Book. But viewers beware, stay far away from Sully. Besides, I’m starting to get the idea that traveling with Tom Hanks isn't such a good idea.

Photo Courtesy: www.comingsoon.net THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

FAMILY fiction Dear Jo,

The Diary of a Modern Mom:

The Target Trap By: Meagan Church

“If there’s one thing you could always use, it’s a pumpkinflavored caffeine boost.”

Sometimes you realize just how much you lucked out with Paul. Sure, it sucked that he was out of town (especially while Emerson was sick), but at least the guy decided to take a day off work when he came back. So, you have a long weekend. Though what is a long weekend exactly? Most of the time your Saturdays look like your Mondays and Tuesdays it’s just that Paul is around the house. It has only been three years and yet it’s still hard to remember what exactly you did on the weekends before having kids. That’s right; you slept in. And you sometimes managed to squeeze a nap in also. Sometimes you cleaned. A lot of times you shopped. During the summer, you’d spend it on the lake or running. Remember when you used to run? I suppose that’s why you own all that workout gear that you still wear as practically a uniform, but it doesn’t get much of a workout anymore. Moisture-wicking is now spit-up wicking. You thought about taking the kids to the zoo, but then Paul had a brilliant idea: he told you to get out of the house for a while. Well, he said it much nicer than that. You couldn’t leave right then because Lyla would want to nurse soon and she still wasn’t taking to the bottle…just like Emerson. You had hoped that things would be different with Lyla. You swore you’d get her on a bottle as soon as breastfeeding was established. You didn’t want a repeat of Emerson. You tried. You researched and Googled, asked your doctor and friends, yet nothing has worked. You tried introducing a bottle sooner. You tried different nipples. You learned that different nipples have different flows. You tried them all. Paul tried them. Your mom tried them. Even Emerson gave it a whirl once. Nothing. Nada. No luck. And so, you are present for each and every one of her feedings. Once Lyla nursed, you changed and got ready to go. “What was wrong with what you had on?” Paul asked. “I’m going to Target,” you said, as if that was explanation enough. “You can’t wear yoga pants there?” You laughed to yourself. Target demanded a step up. This wasn’t that lower-class big box store, after all. No, for Target you needed jeans and a T-shirt that didn’t smell like sour milk. When you got out of the car, you instinctively opened the back door, expecting to unbuckle a child. Then you remembered that you were alone. You grabbed a cart as soon as you walked in the store. You didn’t know why. You didn’t have a list. There was nothing you needed, but really you knew there would be plenty to find.

The Diary of a Modern Mom is a serial fiction story written by Meagan Church. Check back each month for the next installment of one mom’s attempt to chronicle what she has been told are the days she shouldn’t forget…spit-up, tantrums, milestones and all.

THE

FAMILY MAGAZINE | OCTOBER 2016

You headed for the sales racks, after all, how could you pass up a good sale? It only made sense to take advantage of a good price, right? And soon enough the cart began to fill with pjs for Emerson, dresses for Lyla, wipes and finger food puffs (Lyla was still months away, but you couldn’t pass up the sale price. They would surely keep in the pantry until she was ready, right?). You found a cute skirt for yourself (surely you’d find someplace to wear it) and some boxer briefs for Paul (you noticed that some of his were getting old and you didn’t want to leave him out). Then the photo for over the fireplace caught your eye. And the book you’d been meaning to get from the library. You strolled through each aisle, filling the cart. It started with excitement. You were hunting and gathering and claiming items for your family. It was when you grabbed the cat nip toy for the cat that you finally stopped. Why exactly did Arnold need cat nip? The cat was crazy enough already. The other day he darted into the living room, scaled the curtains and then sat on top of the rod with a crazed look in his eye before he bolted back down and into the other room.

FAMILY craft

By: Jill Lebbin EveryDayisanOccasion.com

You stopped and looked at your cart. Maybe you didn’t need the cat toy. Or the photo. You really liked the painting that you already had there anyway. Paul’s underwear was fine. Your mom just gave Lyla a few dresses last week. Emerson’s pajama drawer can’t close as it is. And, let’s be honest, when a chance to wear a skirt again presents itself, you already have a closet full to choose from. And so you abandoned your cart. You walked to the front of the store empty-handed. But you did grab a cup of coffee on the way out the door because if there’s one thing you could always use is a pumpkinflavored caffeine boost.

Photo Provided By: Jill Lebbin