SASSY Magazine September 2015 by FAMILY Magazines of Michiana

SEPTEMBER 2015

NO38

jennifer EWING

Lighting Tricks to Make Your Home Shine

g n i t c a p m Ia Life, One Patient At a Time

Great Fall Reads

Shoes! Yes Please!

Workplace Friendships: #CanTheyLast?

WELCOMING NEW PATIENTS

Nonyem Onujiogu, M.D. Gynecologic Oncology

574.647.4230

BeaconMedicalGroup.org

“I wasn’t unhappy with how I looked, but when the doctor said I could be diabetic in a few years, it was a real wake-up call and it motivated me to put my health as a priority.” SEPTEMBER

/ contents

EVERY MONTH 4 On The Cover 5 Contributors & Testimonials SASS FACTORY: STUFF WE LOVE 6 Sassy Time SASSY BOOK REVIEW 7 Yes Please By Amy Poehler

Reviewed By: Chris Granatino

SASS 8

Do We Need An Excuse To Shop For New Shoes?

By: Kathy Friend

5 Lighting Tricks To Make Your Home Shine

By: Andrew Skipper

LIFE 12

What To Love About Fall

By: Marianne C. Weesner

September is Stepfamily Recognition Time

By: Allison Boelcke Smith

Have The Sassiest Labor Day Weekend Ever

By: Cyndy Searfoss

Beyond Beach Books - Great Reads For The Fall

ON THE COVER 20 Impacting A Life, One Patient At A Time

By: Amy Westbrook Pracht

HEALTH 22

Breaking The Mental Health Disorder Stigma

By: Alexa Tupper

STRENGTH 24 In Sickness & In Health

ON THE COVER:

jennifer EWING

NURSE PRACTIONER, Michiana Hematology Oncology

By: Noelle Elliott

WORK 26

Signs Of A Toxic Workplace

By: Allison Boelcke Smith

FRIENDSHIPS 28 Work Friendship: Can They Last

By: Cyndy Searfoss

SCENE AND BE SEEN 30 A Rosie Place Golf Classic

SASSY | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

in the mag PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER: Betsy Tavernier

Betsy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

MANAGING EDITOR: Jessica Haviland

Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

AD COORDINATOR & INSIDE SALES MANAGER Amanda Oiler

Battling Cancer Together

Amanda@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

GRAPHIC DESIGN MANAGER: Zuzanna Zmud

Zuzanna@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com

Brigthen Up Your Home

Great FALL Reads

The Joy of Helping Others

MEDICAL EDITOR: Dr. Jesse Hsieh DISTRIBUTION MANAGERS: Leah Elick

SASSY Magazine is a division of Michiana Family Magazines, LLC established in 2006. All rights reserved. We would love to hear from you! Please submit press releases, event information and inquiries to: Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com The FAMILY Magazines PO Box 577 Granger, IN 46530 PH: 574.387.5420 • FX: 574.217.4700 www.MichianaSassy.com Permission from the publisher is required for any reproduction or reprint of this publication. Read SASSY Magazine online each month! Go to www.MichianaSassy.com and flip the pages, cover-to-cover the organic and green way! SEPTEMBER 2015 Volume 5: Number 9

Get Rid of Workplace NEGATIVITY!

LOOK WHO’S TALKING

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER, AND BECOME OUR FAN ON FACEBOOK. @MichianaSassy www.facebook.com/Sassy-Magazine pinterest.com/MichianaSassy/ instagram.com/michianasassymag

AUGUST

/ contributors

KATHY FRIEND

ALLISON BOELCKE

CYNDY SEARFOSS

AMY PRACHT

is an Image Consultant, speaker and expert stylist. Her StyleU workshops have become a ‘must-attend’ for ladies across the country. She is a contributor to the Fox59 Morning Show out of Indianapolis and the fashion guru for Goodwill of Michiana. She is a busy Mom-on-the go trying to keep up with her daughter Anya.

is a digital marketing specialist for Indiana University South Bend, and a freelance writer who loves to focus on topics of career and personal finance geared toward working women and mothers. She resides in South Bend with her husband and toddler daughter. During any free time she can manage, she is a foodie whose goal is to actually make more recipes on her Pinterest boards.

is a mom, fundraiser, writer, equestrienne, creative writing adjunct instructor, volunteer and insomniac (which is how she manages to fit everything into the space of 24-hour day). Her professional history includes stints as the managing partner of an advertising agency, director of creative services, director of alumni services at IU South Bend and director of advancement at a local independent school. She received her bachelor’s degree from Indiana University in journalism and her master’s degree in creative writing from the University of Notre Dame in 1995.

Amy Pracht has spent years writing other people's stories. Her own story is simple. She graduated from the University of Kansas, married her high-school sweetheart and is the mother to two daughters, Caroline and Lily. Her story includes stops in California, Texas, Kansas, Arkansas and now Granger.

“SASSY Magazine keeps me up-todate on fashion, health and new business techniques each month!”

SASSY COVER: MEET THE TALENTED PHOTOGRAPHER & STYLIST ...

– Liz M.

Amy Reinert is Michiana's Premier HS Senior,

Teen and Fashion Photographer. She grew up working in her fathers studio and then decided to start her own. Her style is clean, modern and with a flair for fashion. She shoots a variety of sessions in her downtown Elkhart studio as well as on location. www.amyreinert.com amy_reinert@yahoo.com 574-903-6383.

“My girlfriend gave me a copy of SASSY Magazine a year ago and I’ve been hooked since!” – Halie S.

Bethza Seminairo is the Co-Founder, Creative

“I love SASSY Magazine. There is no other magazine out there like it!” – Tiffany P.

Director, Licensed Esthetician and Head Makeup Artist of Bethza Professional Makeup Artist Studio located in Elkhart and has her own cosmetic company, Nethyel Pro Beauty. She worked as a freelance makeup artist in Chicago and Indianapolis. Her specialization in editorial, commercial and high fashion makeup inspired her to bring that style to her community. www.bethza.com (574) 226-5261

We'd LOVE to hear from you! Email your testimonials to Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com SASSY | SEPTEMBER 2015

September 7

LABOR DAY

Fall Festival, 4:00 P.M., Downtown St. Joseph, MI

Ralphie May, 7:00 P.M., The Lerner-Elkhart National Women’s Friendship Day

Deathtrap, 7:30 P.m., Elkhart Civic Theatre-Bristol

College Fair, 6:00 P.M. – 7:30 P.M., The Century Center-South Bend

National Good Neighbor Day

Summer Dance Elkhart, 8:00 P.M., Civic PlazaDowntown Elkhart

Meditation Yoga, 5:30 P.M. – 6:30 P.M., Elkhart Environmental Center 1

The Color Run Shine, 9:00 A.M., Four Winds Field-South Bend

Summer Dance Elkhart, 8:00 P.M., Civic PlazaDowntown Elkhart

Oktoberfest Begins!

Step Family Day

Wednesday Wine Walks, All Day, Downtown South Bend

First Fridays, 5:00 P.M., Downtown South Bend & Goshen

Grandparent’s Day

9/11 Remembrance Day

Business Women’s Day

HOMEMADE Pumpkin Spice Latte INGREDIENTS: • 2 T Canned Pumpkin • ½ t Pumpkin Pie Spice • Freshly Ground Black Pepper • 2 T Sugar • 2 T Vanilla Extract • 2 C Whole Milk • 1 Shot Expresso • ¼ C Heavy Cream, Whipped Until Firm Peaks Form

DIRECTIONS: 1. Heat the pumpkin and spices in a small saucepan over medium heat for two minutes. Stir constantly. 2. Stir in the sugar until mixture looks thick. 3. Whisk the milk and vanilla extract and warm over medium heat. 4. Blend the milk mixture with a hand blender until frothy and blended. 5. Mix the expresso and divide into two mugs and add the frothed milk. Top with whipped cream and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice, cinnamon or nutmeg. Enjoy!

THE 2015 NOTRE DAME

FOOTBALL SCHEDULE SEPT. 5TH ND VS Texas,

7:30 P.M., Notre Dame Stadium (NBC) SEPT. 12TH ND VS Virginia Cavaliers,

3:30 P.M., Scott Stadium, VA (ABC) SEPT. 19TH ND VS Georgia Tech,

3:30 P.M., Notre Dame Stadium (NBC) SEPT. 26TH ND VS UMass Minutemen,

3:30 P.M., Notre Dame Stadium (NBC) OCT. 3RD ND VS Clemson Tigers,

TBA, Memorial Stadium, SC

OCT. 10TH ND VS Navy Midshipmen,

Bonfire Outdoor Décor

3:30 P.M., Notre Dame Stadium (NBC) OCT. 17TH ND VS USC Trojans,

7:30 P.M., Notre Dame Stadium (NBC) OCT. 31ST ND VS Temple Owls,

TBA, Lincoln Financial Field, PA NOV. 7TH ND VS Pittsburgh Panthers,

TBA, Heinz Field, PA

NOV. 14TH ND VS Wake Forest Demon Deacons,

3:30 P.M., Notre Dame Stadium (NBC)

NOV. 21ST ND VS Boston College Eagles,

Wooden Sign

(www.etsy.com)

6 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

Blanket Box

(www.bridalmusings.com)

S’mores Fixin’s

(www.dconawhim.blogspot.com)

7:30 P.M., Fenway Park, MA (NBCSN)

NOV. 28TH ND VS Stanford Cardinal,

TBA, Stanford Stadium, CA

SASSY

book review

Yes Please BY AMY POEHLER Review By: Chris Granatino, Branch Manager Mishawaka-Penn-Harris Public Library Bittersweet Branch

More Amy Poehler? Yes please. If you’re like me and have been a huge fan of her excellent work on Parks and Recreation, then I can tell you right away that you’ll love this book. Just like the many character she’s portrayed on television shows like The Upright Citizens Brigade, SNL and Parks and Recreation, her story is told as a variety show. There are essays, anecdotes, visual aids and guest stars who make small but impactful contributions over the course of the production. As the book was completed almost immediately after filming the final season of Parks, there is a very warm and loving portion devoted to Ms. Poehler’s fellow cast and crew members towards the end. As a longtime fan of the show, it was equal parts hilarious and heartwarming to learn more about the relationships that truly built the character of the show. For those unfamiliar with Parks, fear not! Yes Please is more biography of a life lived in the comedic tradition of improv, and spends a great deal of time navigating the independent Chicago improv scene and following Amy as she travels later travels to New York to join SNL. A series of essays discuss her relationships with other famous comedians and comediennes, including her friendships with Tina Fey and Seth Meyers, and the difficulties and tribulations actors (both comedic and serious) face in breaking into the business of television. The latter half of the book becomes more reflective, as she talks about how the birth of her children has

impacted her life, and allows her to explore her feelings on topics like parenthood, the balance between passion and career, the importance of using technology to reach out to young women and the importance of being true to one’s self. One of the most important messages Ms. Poehler looks to convey is that so much of our professional lives are built on a combination of determination and talent, with a little luck thrown in as well. In an essay entitled, treat your career like a bad boyfriend, she emphasizes the need to be in touch with your sense of passion and creativity, as those are the things that drive you forward and to fill that cup when it empties. It’s easy to become too obsessed with your career, like a bad boyfriend/girlfriend, channeling all of your energy into something that will never give that energy back in equal measure. Our passions and creativity are the spark that can relight a fire within ourselves, long after we’ve changed our career. Keeping that spark alive will always be important. Yes Please is a must read for any fan of Poehler’s work, for those interested in the ins and outs of the television business and the improv comedy world or for those interested in learning more an incredible actress and comedienne and the roads she has taken to get to the top of her craft. 

Photo Courtesy: Amazon.com

EDITOR Book Picks

Jane Eyre

By: Charlotte Bronte

True Believer

By: Nicholas Sparks

Wifey

By: Judy Blume Photo Courtesy: Amazon.com

SASSY

sass By: Kathy Friend

Do We Need an EXCUSE TO SHOP for

New Shoes?

With football on the weekend schedule, it’s time to start thinking fall trends! But wait… the temps outside aren’t cooperating with our need to break out the leggings and boots. One way to get a taste of the changing seasons and bring some sass back in to your style is with shoes. Trends in shoes this fall / winter allow for a seamless transition into cooler months.

HERE ARE SOME SHOE TRENDS TO START WEARING NOW – AND OF COURSE, LATER!

Ankle Boots -

TO THE OFFICE Pumps have a very lady like

feel. Pointed toes are what all the designers were showing on the runway.

8 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

They are back and they are here to stay! The ankle booties of today have a dressy feel, almost like a tall pump. The dressy feel of this season’s ankle boots lend perfectly to wear to the office. If your office allows, try an open toe style!

NIGHT OUT ON THE TOWN Laces Galore! Anything that laces up is VERY on-trend! Call it gladiator style or masculine influence – the truth is if it has laces, it should be on your feet! This season try a lace up pump (or masculine inspired heeled oxford). Need something a little sassier? Then a lace up – over the knee – boot is one trend you will love! If your style is uber edgy, you might want to check out the gladiator sandal boot. That trend will carry over from summer well into fall.

Chunky Heels -

TRENDS ARE IN THE DETAILS Toe Caps - Shoes with a contrast on the toe is also all the rage. This

look has a very up-town feel, however this season be daring and wear this style with a t-shirt and jeans. Typically we see this trend on flats, but this season the toe-cap is moving on to boots and stilettos. This gives us another logical reason to buy another pair of boots! I mean, we all need a pair with a toe cap!

Black and White -

Black and white shoes were seen on many designer runways. The black/white almost has a spectator feel about them, but done in a more fashion forward (or modern) way. Others have a more masculine oxford feel. However you interpret this trend in your personal style, know that it is a classic!

One of the new looks this season is in the heel of footwear. The chunkier the better! Very thick heels on pumps is what we will all be clamoring for. Look for style with an a-symmetric feel to the heels. Some of the top designers are showing heels that taper (smaller toward the heel, larger at the base).

Skins – Alligators on your feet? You bet! Trends this season are

showing us that all reptile skins are what we should be looking for in our footwear. But not any reptile skin, very vibrant colorful skins! This new take on a traditional standby moves this safe choice into something we WANT to wear to the office and with our jeans.

When writing this piece I was thinking to myself, “do women REALLY NEED more reasons to buy another pair of shoes?” Of course we don’t. Those of us who are self-proclaimed (and some of us are infamous) shoe-a-holics know finding that one pair of shoes that screams our name is better than…well…a lot of things! Let’s be honest. If we gain a little weight, our shoes still fit. And you know that feeling when someone stops you at the grocery store and says “Oh my gosh, I love those shoes!” Totally makes your day, doesn’t it? This season I challenge you to think outside the shoe box. Be daring in your footwear. Show the world how fun, courageous and sassy you are with your shoes!

SASSY

sass

Lighting

By: Andrew Skipper

Shine Tricks to Make Your Home

When it comes to updating your home, most people think of repainting, buying new furniture or putting down new flooring. However, lighting is a key element when it comes to making your home shine. Before you go to the expense and hassle of changing out everything in the house, consider the effect lighting has on the atmosphere of your space and redo the lighting scheme to achieve a completely new feel. Without good lighting, important architectural details, artwork and focal points can go unnoticed.

Many new homes are outfitted with the most basic light fixtures, which are often less than stylish. Swapping out a few fixtures for upgrades can make a big difference in how your home looks. Even if your home isn’t new, it’s important to be aware of lighting trends as they change every five to 10 years. Here are a five lighting tricks that will help you make the most of your home:

REFLECT CURRENT STYLES For a look that stands the test of time, opt for crystal as it is used across the style spectrum. Whether a shapely chandelier or a modern rock crystal pendant, this material stands the test of time and adds something special to any room.

One of the easiest ways to update a room is to change out decorative lighting fixtures for up-to-date styles. Twenty years ago the ceiling fan/light fixture combination may have been acceptable, but today, it looks dated. Swap your ceiling fan for a chandelier and watch the entire feel of the space change. As with furniture, it is not necessary to purchase matched sets. The overhead fixture doesn’t need to match the sconces, table lamps and floor lamps. Mix things up a bit by selecting fixtures with different designs and finishes. A popular transitional finish right now is foiled silver. It’s not too shiny and not too matte. Dulled gold and silver over gold are also trendy choices in place of the more traditional brass. Transitional styles are incorporating clean lines and lighter finishes as opposed to heavy iron scrollwork. As with everything, what’s old has become new again so we’re seeing styles from the 1970’s making a comeback. However, they are back in a new way, such as classic faux bamboo lamps reimagined in new finishes.

LIGHT UNEXPECTED PLACES

UTILIZE DIMMERS

While lighting is necessary to perform specific tasks, it can play such a bigger role than a strictly utilitarian one. Think about how you can use lighting as art within your home. Use up-lights to create a dramatic feature on a wall. Choose gorgeous chandeliers that are art pieces in themselves and use them in unexpected areas like the bedroom, bathroom, and even a walk-in closet. Rather than placing bedside lamps on either side of the bed, why not hang pendants over each night stand for a unique look?

Lighting is all about creating a mood. One of the best and most cost-effective ways to do this is with dimmer switches. They are affordable and easy to install, meaning no overhead light should be without a dimmer option. You can even purchase dimmers for lamps, giving you endless options on how much light you want to use. By being in control of the quality and quantity of light, you can change the feel of a room at the flick of a switch. Think of light in terms of sound—you wouldn’t want to have just one volume option on your radio, and the same goes for lighting. It’s important to have the ability to transition a room from ambient lighting to task lighting..

The bonus is that dimmer switches can save you money on utility costs while also conserving energy.

Other ways to use lighting could be in alcoves, niches, and tray ceilings which will create interesting lines and add depth to your room. If you have architectural features such as alcoves above a fireplace, consider using LED or rope lighting to highlight these areas. Enhance a kitchen island by installing LED lights at the toe kick. Think outside the box when it comes to lighting the staircase— why not install LED lights on each stair riser? It’s these type of lighting tricks that make a home feel more custom. Xenon lighting is an affordable option for indirect lighting and is extremely cost effective. Lighting is like the jewelry of a home and the sky really is the limit.

LAYER LIGHTING There are three types of lighting- overhead, task and accent. Having these three options in every room allows you to be flexible when it comes to how you want to use the space. Be sure that there is enough overhead lighting should you need it. But also make sure that you can control it, meaning you can dim or turn it off completely. Then you want to have plenty of lamps or wall sconces. These are your task lighting and allow a space to be functional. Each room should have at least three to five light sources so don’t be afraid to add more lamps. Lastly you’ll want to have fun with accent lighting. This is where you can be creative and highlight certain features of a room or play with rope lighting in an alcove.

Think outside the box when it comes to lighting the staircase— why not install LED lights on each stair riser?

FOCUS YOUR LIGHTING

When working with accent lights, be sure that they are aimed directly at their focal point.

Thoughtful lighting is all about strategic planning. Place lights so they fulfill their intended purpose, be that task or accent lighting. Lamps should illuminate the desk they are on and provide enough light to work. Pendants over a kitchen island should provide plenty of light for food preparation. When working with accent lights, be sure that they are aimed directly at their focal point. Utilize sconces to highlight artwork and use rope or LED strips to show off the shape of a built-in cabinet. If you’re hanging a chandelier in the dining room, it should hang 30 to 36 inches above the dining table (the same goes for pendants above a kitchen island) and the width of the chandelier should be at least one half the width of the table. By being mindful of how you use light, you will bring out the best details of your home.  SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

Love

life

What To

By: Marianne C. Weesner

ABOUT FALL

As the days start to get shorter and the nights get cooler, fall approaches. Fall is a favorite season for many people. The temperature is perfect for outside activities or staying in to watch a movie. Who wouldn’t love this time of year? 1. Changing Colors of Leaves

Fall is a wonderful time to appreciate the beauty in nature. Get outside and appreciate nature’s paintbrush.

2. Fall Favorites like Pumpkin Flavored Items and S’mores Pumpkin cookies or pumpkin pie spell autumn; and, nothing says fall like a warm and gooey s’more made over an open fire. These comfort foods can turn around any week.

3. Picking Apples

Experience the fun of picking your own apples with friends and family. Drink apple cider or enjoy the smell and taste of warm apple pie.

5. Picking and Carving Pumpkins

Go on a hayride into the fields to pick your own pumpkin. Have a pumpkin-carving contest. Display your creation on the porch Halloween night. 12 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

4. Campfires

The sound of wood crackling in a fire while you are gathered with friends invites the sharing of stories and laughs. Roast marshmallows or drink hot chocolate to stay cozy and warm.

6. The Smell of Chili Cooking

It is a great time to break out the crockpot for your favorite chili recipe. After a long day of work, you will enjoy the smell that permeates your home.

7. Wearing Your Favorite Sweater

Get out those sweaters to keep you warm during football games and evening activities.

GrangerVowtoWow_8.18.2015_Layout 1 8/19/15 3:27 PM Page 1

We Vow to Wow 8. Tailgating for Football

The start of football season means weekends tailgating with friends and family.

9. Halloween Movies

Watch your favorite Halloween movies! Tis the season for scary!

Let Gigi’s Cupcakes create a one-of-a-kind cupcake arrangement that will capture the beauty of your day. Whether it’s a bridal shower, a rehearsal dinner or the big day itself, we offer a large variety of boutique cupcakes from which to choose. From the traditional Wedding Cake to more exotic flavors like Chocolate Salted Caramel, we can create the perfect complement to your special event. Schedule your own private tasting and see why more and more brides are now saying “I do” to Gigi’s Cupcakes.

GIGI’S CUPCAKES OF GRANGER 314 W. Cleveland Road • Granger, Indiana 46530 • (574) 277-1700 GigisCupcakesUSA.com

10. Daylight Savings Time Getting that extra hour of sleep will feel amazing! (Set your time back one hour starting November 1st!)

You’re Invited to Our

FIT EVENT!

@ STUDIO I BOUTIQUE Hair and Breast Prosthesis Naturally Yours - Illinois

Tuesday, October 6 Event hours: 9am -5pm 7219 S. Kingery Hwy (RT 83) Willowbrook, IL 60527 630-570-5004 www.naturallyyoursshop.com

Studio I - INDIANA

Studio I - MICHIGAN

Event hours: 8:30am to 4:00pm 5340 Holy Cross Pkwy Suite 110, Mishawaka, IN 46545 574-231-6470

Event hours: 8am - 6pm 2540 Paulmar Ave St. Joseph, MI 49085 269-428-3400

Wednesday, October 7

Thursday, October 8

Promo runs throughout the month of October ABC Breast Care specialist will be available for fit consultations during these dates and times. Please call to schedule your appointment.

Autumn showcases nature’s beauty in its own unique way. Enjoy all the wonders of the season! 

Naturally Yours and Studio I present the “NEW Sparkle Breast Forms” from ABC  Buy 3 bras get $10 off  30% off swimwear  Ask us about our New Custom Breast Prosthesis

LIKE US ON

FACEBOOK!

SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

September life

By: Allison Boelcke Smith

Stepfamily Recognition Time

t is estimated that over half of all Americans will be part of a stepfamily at some time in their lives. If you’re part of that group, National Stepfamily Day is your chance to celebrate. National Stepfamily Day takes place each year on September 16th, and officially dates back to 1997. While it may not be as publicized as Mother’s or Father’s Day, it deserves some recognition!

Stepfamily Day shouldn’t be a time to compete against Mother’s or Father’s Days. To make sure you celebrate the day for its intended purpose of recognizing stepfamilies (not as a “replacement” for other holidays, which can exacerbate any relational tensions) think outside the box. Brainstorm totally new traditions instead of copying what is done for other holidays. Get started by checking out these ideas to celebrate Stepfamily Day:

Have a Stepfamily Themed Dinner

“Brainstorm totally new traditions instead of copying what is done for other holidays.” 14 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

Symbolize the blending of two families while respecting everyone as individuals with a family picnic that consists of all of the members’ favorite foods. Even if the dishes don’t all “go together,” it’s a fun way to celebrate the positivity in bringing different things together with success. Assign each portion of the meal to a specific person and use his or her favorite item. For instance, the main entrees could be each of the stepchildren’s favorites, while the sides could be each parent’s preferred foods. Complete the meal with a customizable dessert (such as a “build your own ice cream sundae bar”) to stay with the theme of different combinations being a great thing – just like blended stepfamilies!

Get an Annual Portrait Taken Have Stepfamily Day be the time of year in which you commemorate your stepfamily by arranging to have a portrait taken that includes all the members of the family. Not only is it a tangible way to recognize yourself as a family unit, but it can be the start of a fun tradition. Each year, you can put the new portrait into a scrapbook and then as more photos are collected, you can all look down memory lane together at the past shots.

Write Letters to One Another The majority of family-themed cards tend to focus on “traditional” nuclear families, so go in a new direction with letters instead of cards. Each member of the family can write a letter to all of the others, expressing thoughts, memories from the year and wishes for what the next year will hold. Save all of the letters to include in a scrapbook to look back on together every Stepfamily Day as part of your new traditions.

Start Your Own Community Events Do you know a lot of fellow stepfamilies? Help them celebrate while building a supportive community by starting your own holiday events for the Michiana area. Since Stepfamily Day isn’t as well-known as other family holidays, you can take the first step to bringing other stepfamilies you know together to celebrate. Churches may be especially open to hosting an event if you suggest it. You could also arrange a potluck or other fun activity. Use social media to invite people to come, as well as to share the event with other stepfamilies.

Start to Try to Turn Uncomfortable Situations Around Unfortunately not all relationships between members of stepfamilies are as healthy or positive as one would hope. If there are underlying issues in your stepfamily, resolve to have Stepfamily Day be the start of your attempts to improve things so your future holidays are more joyful. For stepfamilies that are not in the same house or who have not seen one another in a while, reach out with a letter or email. If you’ve been attempting to work things out on your own, Stepfamily Day could be the push to set up family counseling and embark on a positive new journey. Blended families have their own unique pitfalls and rewards and have earned the right to their own holiday. Pay tribute and pave a great future as a stepfamily by recognizing and celebrating Stepfamily Day every September 16th! 

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WeaverFurnitureSales.com SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

life

Have the

Sassiest

LABOR DAY WEEKEND

Ever

By: Cyndy Searfoss

It’s the long weekend we both love and dread… Labor Day Weekend hearlds the end of summer and the return of the school year and fall. This year, make it a sassy transition between the seasons: we’ve come up with a collection of fun festivals within a few hours drive of Michiana. Even better, make it a three-day celebration with multiple stops along the way. Book your reservations at a many bed and breakfast. Be sure to visit breweries and wineries in the area as well.

HERE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE LABOR DAY FESTIVALS TO CHOOSE FROM: Photo Courtesy: www.wilhelmtell.org/

The Madison, Wisconsin area (approximately four hours from South Bend) is home to three Labor Day festivals. The Swiss-themed Wilhem Tell Festival in New Glarus, Wisconsin has been held every Labor Day weekend since 1938. In addition to recounting the tale of Wilhem Tell (hint: he’s the guy who is forced to shoot the apple off his son’s head), the event features a children's lantern parade, yodeling, an arts show and ethnic fashions. Daily tickets are just $10 for adults and $5 for children. For the more adventurous, there’s the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw and Festival in Prairie du Sac. Challenge the current throw record of 248 feet. No gloves are allowed, but you can lick your hands – before throwing – for a better grip. On a more appetizing note, the festival’s food court has cream puffs, sundaes, gyros and much more. 16 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

There’s more delicious food to be had at Taste of Madison. In fact, this free benefit festival offers 300 menu items. Each of these is priced from $1-$4 and made possible by more than 80 restaurants. In addition, there are three stages featuring free entertainment as well as a lighted boat parade, followed by fireworks, on Sunday evening.

Stops in the Chicago area should include the Frankfort Fall Festival and the Chicago Jazz Festival. The Frankfort Fall Festival draws more than 300,000 visitors each year. This festival features more than 300 artisans from more than 30 states, food and entertainment. The 37th Annual Chicago Jazz fest will be held in Millennium Park September 3rd through 6th. As always, the event is free. Photo Courtesy: wikimedia.org

Michigan also has a number of fall festivals. Ann Arbor offers the Saline Community Fair, which kicks off with a parade. Near Detroit there’s Arts, Beats and Eats. It’s Oakland County's premier entertainment festival. Each year, approximately 400,000 people visit more than 200 juried art exhibitors, 50 restaurants and 200 performances on 10 stages downtown Royal Oak. If you’d like to go further afield, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, particularly Mackinac Island, Macinaw City and Marquette have a number of end-of-summer events as well.

Photo Courtesy: thesalinepost.com

For those who would like to spend at least some of the Labor Day Weekend close to home, plan a visit to the Marshall County Blueberry Festival in Plymouth, the September Craft Show in St. Joseph or the Three Rivers HarmonyFest in Michigan. The Third Coast Kings will be headlining the HarmonyFest, which also features a variety of street vendors. Now in its 44th year, the Marshall County Blueberry Festival is more than blueberries. The festival includes more than 300 craft vendors, more than 100 food vendors, free entertainment on three stages and one of the most comprehensive sports offerings for children and adults. These include Blueberry Stomp 5K/15K run, Bicycle Cruise, softball, tennis, volleyball, arm wrestling, garden tractor pulls, horse pull and a kiddie tractor pedal pull. Plus, there are hot air balloon launches, fireworks and a Labor Day Parade. Photo Courtesy: www.blueberryfestival.org/

The September Craft Show is held at Lake Bluff Park from 10 am to 5 pm on September 5th. Watch the Tri-State Regatta on Lake Michigan while browsing the craft booths on the bluff.

Be sure to pack a sweater or sweatshirt or two, comfy shoes and your sense of fun to make the most of a sassy Labor Day festival weekend.  SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

life

BEYOND BEACH BOOKS

Great Reads for the Fall By: Cyndy Searfoss

Like fair food, summer reading is tasty but not necessarily fulfilling. If you’re ready to tackle something more substantial and filling this fall, here are some great books in a wide range of genres, for a wide range of tastes.

It’s Never Too Late to Read a Classic Novel And it doesn’t have to be War and Peace. Start with Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen or a novel by one of the Bronte sisters, like Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre. If tackling a different age seems daunting, works by Ernest Hemingway and John Steinbeck qualify as “classic” novels and are accessible. There’s also the option of watching the movie – Pride and Prejudice has been filmed a number of times – then reading the novel, which makes it easier to follow the plot (you don’t have to let others know this is your tactic). Harper Lee, whose book To Kill a Mockingbird is well-loved American classic, has a new novel, Go Set a Watchman. This book, which continues the story of Scout and her family many years later, was actually written before the Pulitzer Prize-winning Mockingbird.

Catch Up on the Latest Buzz Girl on the Train by British author Paula Hawkins is setting sales records and is one of the most-talked about book of the decade. It’s been compared to Gillian Flynn’s Gone Girl, which saw success both as a book and a recent film. Both books have in common an unreliable narrator, a convention that makes for tantalizing reading all the way to the very last page. If you saw Gone Girl in the theatre but haven’t yet read the book, be sure to do so. Flynn’s writing is fast-paced and will keep you enthralled even if you know how the story ends.

Book Photos Courtesy: Amazon.com 18 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

Other recent best sellers on the must-read list include All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr, The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt and In the Unlikely Event by Judy Blume. Doerr’s novel takes place in World War II France and features the intertwined stories of a blind French girl and a young German soldier. The Goldfinch is lengthy but never boring. While it’s been criticized in some circles for its lack of literary merit, The Goldfinch offers a heady blend of art, angst, redemption and realism. Blume, best known for her teen literature, offers a fictionalized version of a series of airline crashes in the early 1950s and the ripple effect they have on the community.

Explore the 20 acre corn maze with over 3.5 miles of paths! Also enjoy Hay Rides, the Cow Train, 2 Huge Goat Walks, 16ft Spider Web, Milk the Cow Exhibit, Farm Animals, Straw Mountain, Pumpkins, Fall decor, Concessions and many more fun activities for the family that cover our 90 acre farm!

Opening day is Sept 15 , 2015! Out of This World Seveneves and The Martian both hit the bestseller list over the summer for good reason – both tell compelling stories of survival and humanity beyond our atmosphere. In Seveneves, Neal Stephenson uses 800 pages to tell the story of Earth’s demise after the Moon is destroyed and the planet’s rebirth centuries later. Although lengthy – and incredibly detailed – Stephenson’s story flows well. Weir creates a suspenseful story about the first man to walk on Mars. Through a series of misfortunes, he’s left behind and is faced with what seems to be an impossible task – how to survive, with only a limited amount of resources and his own grit and ingenuity.

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Finally, if you were living off the grid all summer and hadn’t heard, the latest in the Fifty Shades of Grey series, Grey: Fifty Shades of Grey As Told by Christian, was released over the summer. As the title states, it’s a re-telling of Fifty Shades of Grey from the male point of view. Although it was panned by critics on both sides of the Atlantic (the author E. L. James is British), the novel sold more than a million copies over the summer.

Head to the bookstore or download an e-reader copy, grab a mug of something warm and spend some time with a great story this fall. It’s a great way to welcome the colder weather.  SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

ON THE COVER

IMPACTING A LIFE

one patient At A Time Local Nurse Practitioner Tackling Personal & Professional Goals With Compassion

By: Amy Westbrook Pracht

routine doctor’s appointment turned into a wake-up call that changed her life.

She is also known to develop special relationships with her patients. While she supports them through their treatments and side effects, she also supports them through her care and understanding of what they are going through during their fight with cancer. “I develop relationships with my patients,” she said. “Now, we have so many more successful stories than 20 years ago. There is nothing better after giving an 18 year old her chemotherapy and having her visit you five years later introducing her husband and baby.”

Jennifer Ewing was 35 years old at the time when she entered her doctor’s office for a routine exam. She was a typical working mom juggling duties as an oncology nurse while raising three young kids at home. Her priority at that time was simply family and work. She was also diligent to get her yearly health check-ups. However, this time was different. When her lab results came back and her doctor warned that she was pre-diabetic she knew she had to make some changes to her lifestyle. “I wasn’t unhappy with how I looked, but when the doctor said I could be diabetic in a few years, it was a real wake-up call and it motivated me to put my health as a priority,” said Jennifer. “I wanted to be healthy for my children.” Jennifer chose to avoid standard diets and focus on changes to her inactive and fast-food lifestyle. The first thing she did was visit with a nutritionist who guided her into finding the right foods to eat, not just the foods to avoid. Jennifer, a nurse for 20 years, knew right away that if she wanted to be successful she needed to have the right tools and nutritional guidance to help her. Making an appointment with a dietitian was the first step. “I knew what I shouldn’t eat, but she also helped me understand what my meals should look like and how to make better choices.” However, Jennifer won’t lie, it wasn’t easy. While her dietitian instructed her to her increase her protein intake and lower her calories, it wasn’t easy. She vividly remembers crying when the waitress at an Italian restaurant brought fresh bread to her table. Jennifer also added increase physical exercise and activities to her daily regime. Five years later and fifty-pounds lighter, Jennifer is living proof that the combination of watching what you eat and daily exercise can yield great results. It has also trickled down to her own children. “I see my children even making healthy choices for themselves,” she said. “They do enjoy soda and sweets, but when they see sliced cucumbers and green peppers in the refrigerator, they will often choose the vegetables first.”

She also understands the losing side of cancer. “Spending time with someone at the end of their life is a privilege too.”

“I believe that through my experience with my mom, that I am not afraid to have those difficult conversations with my patients.” While her role as a mom keeps her determined to maintain a healthy lifestyle, it is her role as daughter that makes her realize just how important good health is in her life. Jennifer’s mom died at the age of 43 after a five-year battle with cancer. “I was 20 years old when she died. During that time I was studying to be a nurse and it was through that experience with my mom and losing my mom, it all brought a lot of prospective to my life,” she said. Losing her mother to cancer also helped her decide to work in the oncology field. Today, working as a nurse practitioner for Michiana Hematology Oncology, she is honoring her mother and the team of nurses that provided special care to her family. “I remember back to the people who took the extra time to talk to my mom and my family, they probably didn’t realize the impact they made on us, but I was inspired by what they did for us and I knew I wanted to work with people who have cancer.” Jennifer, who has lived in the area most of her life, feels it is a special privilege serving as an oncology nurse. “I believe that through my experience with my mom, that I am not afraid to have those difficult conversations with my patients.”

Today as Jennifer is now approaching the same age as her mother when she died, she is cognizant that the changes in her life are allowing her to enjoy new challenges and experiences she never dreamed were possible. She enjoys bicycling, paddle boarding and kayaking. “I have more energy, and less fatigue and I am able to do more,” said Jennifer. “I enjoy exercising now. When I was heavy it was a chore, but now I look forward to activity.” She also credits exercise as an important therapy. Jennifer took up running after teaming up with a running partner, which she highly encourages. “I’m emotionally stronger now,” she said. “I have a running partner who is my best friend and that is our therapy. I took up running later on and she has been a huge running motivator for me and a huge support.” Jennifer said that having a mentor or exercise partner is important when attempting to make a lifestyle change. “We hold each other accountable and enjoy it more,” she said. “I have already run two half marathons and will run a marathon in October. It was always my goal to run a marathon. I am always thinking about what goals I can give myself. It is not only a physical challenge, but it is a mental challenge as well.” If running the Chicago Marathon isn’t a big enough challenge, Jennifer has more goals. “Rocking climbing!” “Mountain climbing and rock climbing, it’s a new challenge. At 42 years old, I don’t think there is anything I can’t accomplish,” she said. 

SASSY

health

BREAKING THE MENTAL HEALTH DISORDER

By: Alexa Tupper

“T

Stigma

here tends to be a stigma associated with mental health disorders,” says Dr. Justin Schwalbe. “I wish it wasn’t the case because it prevents people from getting the help they need.”

350 million people suffer from depression in our world. According to Healthline, 350 million people deal with feeling hopeless, guilty or worthless. Losing their appetite, becoming irritable and unable to stand still, being fatigued and struggling to concentrate. So, if 350 million people have depression, why are we just now starting to truly boost awareness? To better understand the enigma that is depression, we spoke with Dr. Justin Schwalbe, MD. Dr. Schwalbe is a family practice physician who completed his training at Medical College of Wisconsin and his residency at Mayo Clinic Health Systems in La Crosse, Wisconsin. “Depression is a mood disorder that is typically characterized by an all-encompassing sadness that is present most of the day, and most days of the week,” he said. “It is usually a disruptive sadness that prevents the individual from doing things that he or she would normally enjoy doing.” There are several types of depression, one of the most common being Major Depression. Major Depression involves a combination of symptoms such as consistently sad moods, a decline in energy, losing interest in previously enjoyed activities,

22 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

physical symptoms, and in some cases, thoughts of suicide. It’s characterized by occurring either once or several times in a lifetime, according to the International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression. Dysthymia is exhibiting a depressed mood for at least two years for an ongoing period of time. Common symptoms of dysthymia include appetite changes and resulting weight changes, difficulty sleeping and decrease in energy, low self-esteem and feeling like there is no hope. Other types include postpartum depression, often in women who have recently given birth. Psychotic depression, where traditional depression symptoms are often accompanied by a form of psychosis. Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD, is when the winter weather causes a change in mood and feelings. Additionally, Substance Induced Mood Disorder is depression as a direct result of substance abuse. Generally, with variations of depression similar symptoms will manifest. Dr. Schwalbe argues that there are two main symptoms of depression. “The first is having a depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day,” he said. “The second is having very little interest in pleasing activities.”

“The cause of depression is still mysterious to doctors.” “Depression involves abnormalities in the neurotransmitters like serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine and GABA,” he said. “But it’s very complex and not well understood.”

“The sooner the better,” he said. “If someone has symptoms of depression or just can’t seem to get out of a funk, then it’s worth talking about.”

However, it is understood that depression runs in families. There is a chromosomal link in family members who suffer from depression, but outside factors can also contribute to depression.

There are different treatment options depending on your specific symptoms. Meeting with a counselor or therapist can help deal with the issues that are triggering the depression, and strengthen your ability to get rid of the negative thoughts you’re having. Another option is medication, and using the two together is often beneficial.

While the genetic link is present, children growing up with depressed family members are also more susceptible due to seeing how their relative is acting and possibly mimicking the actions unconsciously. Women are two times more likely to be depressed than men, and younger adults tend to be more likely to suffer from depression as well. “Depression is often seen more in people with lower self-esteem, recent stressful life events, lack of social support, lower education and drug and alcohol problems,” Dr. Schwalbe said. Schwalbe recommends talking to a doctor when you first notice that your symptoms are abnormal.

Recently, efforts have been made to shed light on how common depression is. Non-profit organizations, support groups and 5k runs have all been created to encourage those suffering from depression that they are not alone. Suicide awareness is also on the rise, as one of the major symptoms of depression is thinking about death or suicide. There are many resources for those looking to raise awareness, such as the American Foundation for Suicide

Prevention. The website offers options to share loved ones’ stories, learn more about how to give and educate others on the realities of depression and suicide. Most importantly, Dr. Schwalbe urges everyone to look out for their loved ones. “Some signs to watch for in a loved one would be lack of apathy, avoiding friends or family or obsessing over death,” he said. “If someone is contemplating suicide, or has developed a plan, they need to let a trusted friend know and possibly go to the ER. Certainly if a loved one is exhibiting signs of depression they should see a professional to diagnose and treat.” 

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SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

SASSY

strength

By: Noelle Elliott

ebbie Fessenden was diligent about getting mammograms. She had one just four months before she discovered a lump on her breast while showering. She was getting ready for a family trip so she held off looking into it until they got back. “I didn’t want to worry my daughters,” she said. Upon returning home she received a call from her doctor informing her that the tumor was malignant. She then began an aggressive treatment of chemo and radiation. By her side was her husband of 42 years, Mark. “He was wonderful,” she gushed. But, within a few months, after a routine colonoscopy they received a phone call from his doctor and learned that he had cancer too. “I had to wonder, who did we tick off?” He said jokingly.

24 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

In Sickness & In Health The two of them were in the battle for their lives, but any physical strength they had was diminished with the chemo. They relied on each other for emotional strength after being thrust into a cancer club that neither one wanted to be a member. Mark proudly showed me identical plaid chairs in their living room. “This was mine and that one over there was hers. We spent many nights in these chairs.” he explained. Along for the ride was their beloved Westie, Keagan, between them. Sadly, Keagan passed away, but only after they were both in remission, as any loyal canine companion would do. Speaking with Debbie and Mark, I was instantly made to feel welcome. Their beautiful home exudes love and happiness. Photos of their daughters hung on

the walls and well lived in furniture lined the beautifully decorated and cozy family room. Although I had set out to write a story about a couple who had the misfortune to have cancer at the exact same time, I realized their story is more about the strength of the spirit than strength of the body. Mark knew every detail about Debbie’s cancer and recovery and backed away from speaking about himself. Only when I asked him how he was feeling did he admit he felt crummy. But, not crummy enough to spend time talking to a stranger in their home on a Saturday morning, however. The two of them share a type of love that one aspires to. And there is so much of it that it is not a surprise that they were

flooded with support from their community. “We wanted for nothing.” Debbie explained. The teachers at Beck Elementary brought over several meals, people whom they had never met showing their warmth and support. Their daughter is a teacher at the school, and if she is anything like her parents, it is no surprise people were willing to help. They also received an outpouring of support from their church Trinity Methodist. United Cancer Services also played a role in their cancer journey. They provided a support network as soon as they learned of the Fessenden’s situation. United Cancer Services of Elkhart provides emotional support, planning and financial assistance for cancer patients of Elkhart County. After speaking with the Fessenden’s for over an hour, I wondered how anyone could meet them and not leave without being a friend. They spoke highly of every nurse, physician and technician they came in contact with. “There were certainly days that were hard and I had a chip on my shoulder,” Mark said. On one particular day in the Elkhart Hospital Oncology Unit, he was making his way to a cup of coffee when he noticed a woman slumped over in her chair. “She was in bad shape.” He could have just let her be, but instead he engaged her in conversation. “She lit up, and didn’t stop talking for the next five minutes!” he exclaimed. It was that moment when he realized the importance of human interaction in his recovery. Debbie said it was also the moment he began talking to everyone, and didn’t stop. Sitting across from them, I had a hard time believing they were capable of being negative. Even in the lowest moments, as they sat in their identical chairs, I believe they possessed a desire and hope to survive and an unbreakable bond to do it together. When I asked them what they were most looking forward to in the upcoming year, they mentioned a New Year’s Eve celebration with old friends that they were too ill to attend last year. This year they are not only going to the party, they are going to host it.

[

Cancer is not going to define who they are or who they are going to be.

[

In our conversations, I had mentioned my Uncle Butch who had suddenly passed away. It turns out they were friends of his. As I left, they offered comfort with a funny story about him. I was so moved by this, I had to leave before I got too emotional. Even though they could be consumed with their own trouble, they have enough empathy to offer love and comfort for someone they had just met. Mark and Debbie are the perfect example of a power couple that we should all look to for inspiration. Worthy of admiration for not only their strength of the body, but living proof that the power of love and kindness can get you through even the darkest of days. 

SASSY

work

Signs of a

By: Allison Boelcke Smith

TOXIC WORKPLACE No workplace is perfect and everyone has their gripes about their work environments, but there is a difference between normal annoyances and frustrations, and when it crosses the line into being toxic. In a toxic workplace, your own personal motivation and hard work may not be enough to overcome key organizational dysfunctions. Use these signs to determine if your office is truly toxic and if it’s time to look for a new opportunity:

Communication is Used as a Weapon

A healthy and productive workplace has a strong foundation built on open communication. It fosters trust, which leads to collaboration and positive morale. In toxic workplaces, communication is instead yielded as a way to control or shut out others. Examples of communication being used in a toxic way include: using other people to deliver messages (like a manager having a peer send a personal message to a coworker), keeping important information withheld (often as a means to keep others ignorant or to be seen as the only one “in the know”) or simply providing false information.

Influential Employees are Bullies

Effective leaders focus on methods of motivating employees and making them more successful, which in turn improves the overall performance of the company. When leadership is more concerned with themselves and how they are perceived, it can create a toxic workplace environment. Signs of toxic behavior from leadership include: taking credit for other employees’ positive work results or ideas and “throwing people under the bus” by misplacing blame to others to cover up their own mistakes.

Everyone’s On Pins and Needles

The underlying atmosphere of a workplace can reveal a lot about its toxic nature. A major sign of a toxic workplace is when there is a culture of being afraid to be noticed, such as by making an error or even offering a suggestion or idea. Healthy workplaces have transparent expectations about performance and corrective measures for mistakes and communicate processes clearly for providing feedback. If employees are constantly unsure of what to expect in terms of behavior from management or colleagues and never know when “the hammer will drop next” it not only prevents innovation, it creates a tone of anxiety and fear.

“A healthy and productive workplace has a strong foundation built on open communication.”

There Are Blatant Inconsistencies with Behavior

Workplaces should ideally have one set of rules, paired with one set of consequences, but a toxic workplace will likely have obvious instances of rules not applying to people depending on who they are. This includes overt favoritism (managers allowing certain employees to get away with behaviors, while reprimanding others for the same thing) or simply a pervasive attitude of “do as I say, not as I do” in which management models behavior that is against company policy.

Talks of Advancement Are Dismissed

Toxic work environments often effectively shut down any conversations regarding pay raises or promotions. There is seemingly an attitude (or employees are explicitly told) that workers should be grateful to have a job at all and not express an interest in professional growth. Healthy workplaces understand the importance of addressing employees’ ambitions and either taking actions to help them achieve them or at least discussing the issue and why it can’t currently happen.

Each Donation… Inspires Hope

Employees Experience Stress-Related Symptoms

There’s a reason why dysfunctional workplaces are labeled as toxic – they can be detrimental to your health after long-term exposure. Chronic stress can manifest with physical symptoms, such as headaches, upset stomach, difficulty sleeping and chest pain. It can also cause emotional symptoms, such as a change in attitude when dealing with others (such as becoming easily agitated), being unable to relax, a decrease in self-esteem, avoiding others and even depression.

The solutions for toxic workplaces generally start at the top through leadership, but that doesn’t mean you have to become negatively affected by the work environment. Approach toxic situations with self-awareness to determine if you can change your actions or mindset to make your workdays more pleasant. Once a toxic workplace causes chronic personal issues for you, it’s time to start networking and searching for a more healthy work environment.

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SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

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SASSY

friendships

Work Friendships: #CanTheyLast?

ou bonded over the billing project that everyone hated, ate lunch together, survived the near-takeover of your cube space by an OCD coworker and shared enough pitchers of strawberry margaritas to float a battleship. But, you just learned that the person you relied most on to get you through the worst day at work has accepted another position. Can you keep your friendship intact once you no longer work together? The answer is a qualified “yes” – qualified because maintaining friendships takes work and because both parties have to want it to maintain it. There are times when one or both people realize that their bond was more about the work or work environment they shared rather than their friendship. In those cases, it can be easiest (and best) to let things drift, especially if after a couple of lunches together or meeting for drinks feels forced and awkward. You can always stay connected via social media or professional groups. Even if you find getting together is just as enjoyable as it was when you worked together, don’t be surprised to find that the dynamic has changed or that there are sometimes gaps in the conversation. Shared day-to-day work situations have likely made up most of what you talked about in the past. Something else will now have to fill that gap – and even if it’s shoptalk about the old/new jobs, both of your perceptions will likely have shifted.

By: Cyndy Searfoss

Here are some friendship maintenance strategies you can apply here (or to any other friendship): • Be social beyond social media – Facebook, Instagram and Twitter are great ways to find out what your friends are up to and even chat but they can’t take the place of face-to-face interaction or even the oldfashioned phone call. All the emjois in the world can’t convey what we pick up from tone of voice, inflection and body language. Then there’s the fact that social media is rarely a true reflection of what’s really going on in someone’s life. If you both live in the same town make time to get together for lunch, drinks, a movie or even take a walk together before or after work.

• Honor the give and take of being a friend – Good friendships require more than good intentions. Take a few moments to let your friends know you’re thinking of them. It can be as simple as a quick text or email sharing a memory, a book recommendation or even “I was just thinking of you and hope you’re having a good day.” In short, be the kind of friend you’d like to have. Remember, too, that most people like to give – a hand to someone in need, advice and support. It’s always okay to ask a friend for one of those if you’re in need.

• Remember that life happens – Even the best of friends can’t be available 24/7. A new job, marriage, children, caring for parents can all impact the time and effort a person has available for friendship. If you sense that keeping your friendship is more stressful than fulfilling – for either of you – take a step back. A promise to reconnect when things settle down is often the best way to handle the situation.

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• Be willing to acknowledge and resolve conflicts – Even the best of friends

don’t agree on every subject and even the kindest, most gracious people screw up sometimes. Two strategies for dealing with these realities don’t work: ignoring that there is a disagreement or faux pas and making it the focal point of the friendship rather than a stumbling block. Both are likely to damage the fundamental strength of the friendship. If you’re the person who screwed up, a heart-felt apology is in order. What if you were the person on the receiving end? Relationship experts advise letting your friend know your feelings are hurt and why you feel that way, using non-judgmental language.

Maintaining any friendship takes work. Despite the challenges of chang-

ing circumstances, work friendships can transcend that definition. The payoff can be worth the effort! 

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Scene +Be Scene

A Rosie Place Golf Classic

Rosie Place hosted its 11th Annual Rosie Golf Classic at The Warren Golf Course at Notre Dame on July 20th. Players enjoyed perfect golfing weather, amazing competition and best of all, an opportunity to support children who are medically fragile! Nick Kanczuzewski of Team Logistick was ecstatic to make his first “Hole-in-One” winning an amazing electronics package! Major sponsors for 2015 included: Wells Fargo, South Bend Medical Foundation, Kerry and David Stephens, Logistick, Inc., Superior Van and Mobility, Tire Rack and Crown Corr, Inc. Players fueled up on delicious snacks courtesy of Jimmy John’s and Gigi’s Cupcakes. A Rosie Place is Indiana’s first licensed hospital dedicated exclusively to serving the growing number of children who are medically fragile here in Michiana. A Rosie Place exists today because of the generosity of this community! Thank you all! Photos Provided By: A Rosie Place.

30 SEPTEMBER 2015 | SASSY

Please send us some of your favorite photos from your organization’s or charity’s best events and fundraisers. They just may make the next issue of SASSY Magazine! We prefer snapshots of people that are full of life and enjoying the moment, so please send them our way: Jessy@MichianaFamilyMagazine.com.

Michiana Heart & Stroke Walk Elkhart County

St. Joseph County

Sunday • September 20, 2015

Sunday • October 4, 2015

Menno

1 pm • Donation Turn-In & Pre-Walk Activities 2 pm • Opening Ceremonies 2:30 pm • 5K or Miracle Mile Walk

Kardzhali Park at NIBCO Parkway Downtown Elkhart

1 pm • Donation Turn-In & Pre-Walk Activities 2 pm • Opening Ceremonies 2:30 pm • 5K or Miracle Mile Walk

Eddy Street Commons at Notre Dame South Bend

• Music to get your heart pumping •Nutrition education • Healthy snacks • Fit zone Register at michianaheartwalk.org or call 574-274-1783 to learn more. Heart & Torch Sponsor

Event Sponsors

The Heart Walk is sponsored nationally by SUBWAY® restaurants.

Media Sponsors

AHAIndiana

@AHA_Michiana

Together, we can walk toward a healthier community!

SASS Y | SEPTEMBER 2015

We want all people to experience more of life's precious moments with healthy hearts and minds. So until there's a world free of heart disease and stroke, we'll be working to make a healthier, longer life possible for everyone.

my newborn is why. Everyone has a reason to live a heathier, longer life. What is yours?

To celebrate and share your “why” • Visit lifeiswhy.org • Use #LifeisWhy on Twitter and tag @AHA_Michiana