Talking about Tony

ANDREW MARCHESANI | VERMONT

G is all tongue, teeth, and smile. Grilled chicken in both cheeks he forces out the words and bites the bite back in as everything else spills out.

Handsomely dressed as ever in a forest green overshirt, sunglasses inside, but somehow not dickish. How does he get his hair to do that? If there is a prettier man, anywhere, I haven’t seen him.

At 19, when I saw him, before I knew him, or knew how to call him, or knew what to do with the fascination, lust, and envy that seeing him at the bus stop stirred up in me, I called him flyboy.

At 28, G is still fly. In SLO for his stag, he’s surrounded by a gaggle of guys. A captive audience for his guitar and his gab. Right now it’s the gab.

His right hand is wrapped tight with duct tape, covering a deep cut on his palm. He cut himself thirty minutes ago decapitating a champagne bottle with a butcher’s knife. Or was that yesterday?

It was only a flesh wound. How many shroomed-up white boys does it take to treat a gash?

Together we rushed to the kitchen of this prairie style rental home to stem the bleeding, to save our hero.

Now we’re here at the table. G weeps for the end of innocence. He’s talking about Tony.

G sees Tony the way I see G. Parts Unknown, that Tony. Not the Roadrunner Tony.

“They don’t get to rewrite his life in two hours and make it all about addiction and overdose and suicidal thoughts.

I spent 10 years and 100 hours with him. That’s not my Tony.”

He’s also talking about Stephen, the brother who isn’t here.

G forks in another bite, and stands up to give his third or fourth toast of the night. This, despite there only being five of us left around the live-edge table.

“I feel so lucky to have met Jen”, YAYY!

“And all of you”. YAYY!

“And it makes me so happy to see all of you here together…

If only Stephen could have been here too…”

He trails off and looks off, eyes fixed on the bric-a-brac behind me.

Raising our tiny, green, plastic shot glasses, mine only half full, we say “Salud ”.

G sits down to take another bite from his magically refilling plate and launches back into talking about Tony.