Handling Conflicts With Confidence Tools to Reduce Tension and Risk

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Here are five proven principles to de-escalate conflict:

1. Be Clear Overgeneralization can increase drama. “You’re always late to work,” is a broad statement that invites defensiveness. “I’m concerned that you’ve been about 30 minutes late the past three Fridays” is more specific. Alternately, communications may be so vague that both sides are left with different interpretations. If the dentists remarks on the lateness without specificity or follow through, they may feel like they have addressed the issue and the employee may feel like they’re off the hook. Lack of clarity means future conflict is likely.

With patients, clarity means listening to concerns first-hand, not deflecting nor delegating issues to staff. Patients want to feel heard. Allow them to voice concerns without interrupting or speculating. Listen attentively and then repeat back their concerns so there is no misunderstanding about the source of conflict.

2. Be Empathetic We tend to judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions. When an employee is late, the dentists judges the action and the impact to the schedule. The employee judges their own intentions and everything they have done -fighting traffic or skipping breakfast – to try to make it to work on time. While the intention doesn’t excuse the action attempting to see both sides facilitates productive, solution oriented discussions. Empathy also extends to thanking employees for positive contributions of every size and sincerely apologizing when you are wrong.

3. Be Patient Living with unresolved conflict is stressful, but rushing to a solution rarely bears long-term gain. When a patient or employee makes a tough demand or offers an unideal solution, explain that you need time to consider their request and return your decision. Understand that they need time to consider their answer to your proposed solution. However, if a demand is unreasonable, such as never scheduling a specific staffer on the days that they come in for appointments, answer at the time. Give a measured response that keeps the discussion open to reasonable demands, such as, “I understand you are unhappy, but I don’t believe this is a fair assessment of the situation,” or “I don’t feel it’s reasonable to ask me to make adjustments that would create a disruption for my practice, other employees and patients.”

4. Be Objective How the message is being delivered and who it is delivered by often determines how we engage. Take a calm, respectful approach and find a private place to talk. When struggling, start with the facts. Don’t disparage others’ character or values or bring up past conflicts unless there is an established pattern. Rather, analyze the point of conflict, share your observations and listen to their perspective before pursuing a resolution.

5. Be Curious Making assumptions about others isn’t empathy. Listen first, asking questions to understand their point of view. Curiosity can de-escalate conflict. For the late employee, it could be, “I’ve noticed you’re on time for most shifts, but not for the last few Fridays. Is something going on that day that we can talk about?” After hearing their side, invite their input in finding a solutions.

Conflicts are inevitable and pandemic pressures have amplified disagreements about finances, scheduling, employment and clinical protocols. By addressing conflicts early and reframing them as opportunities to address unresolved issues, you can better protect your practice.

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