Restoring YOUR HONOR

by Brelyn Bowman

It seems inevitable: When you have something for a while or are around someone for a while, you lose sight of the value. We tend to lose our adoration for the thing once new to us, allowing a sense of familiarity to set in. We get used to the object or person, and the sense of care once offered declines. We essentially become lax in honoring that person or object.

One of the major contributors to growth in our relationships with our spouses is being mindful not to lose sight of their value. The reason our spouses are in our lives is because God strategically placed them there.

Valuing our spouse is the only way we’ll remain mindful of the honor due in the relationship. When value decreases, so do our efforts, causing other areas of the relationship to decline. Think about it: When you first connected with your spouse, you did so many things to impress one another. Maybe it was small but still impactful; you went above and beyond because you wanted to show them just how much you honored them. You wanted them to feel special because it was important to you. You acknowledged the value they brought to your life, and you didn’t want to live without them.

In Mark 6, the Bible talks about how a prophet is without honor in his own hometown and amongst his relatives. The Bible continues on to say that because of this reason, Jesus wasn’t able to do any miracles there. This refers to that familiar spirit that often causes us to view those closest to us (friends, family, colleagues) as common: “Oh, that’s just (so and so).”

I’d like to propose that the miracle you’re missing in your relationship is not therapy, not flowers, not love making, not a date night (although those things help tremendously). The miracle you need is honor.

Restoring honor requires determination and dedication. I’ll be married for eight years in October, and one of the ways I remember whom I married and to remind myself of my husband’s value is to look at our wedding memories. Looking at photos prompts me to instantly remember the commitment I made to honor him. Regardless of whether or not he’s doing everything right, or regardless if your marriage feels top tier, he is always top tier because he belongs to God. The late, great Dr. Miles Munroe once said, “When purpose is not known, abuse is inevitable.” I often ask God to help me keep the purpose of my relationship at the forefront of my mind because I don’t ever want to abuse what He has given me. Yes, we all fall short of the mark, but that doesn’t mean we have to stay there. Maybe that’s where you are — you’ve missed the mark, and it’s created a relationship absent of honor. The first step in restoring honor is to acknowledge its absence, repenting to God and to your spouse. This will help your spouse become more vulnerable to you, giving you grace in your new walk. You can have a relationship with value and honor — it’s a God promise!

Prayer

Father, I repent for not honoring my spouse the way in which you have instructed me. Lord, I ask that you reveal to me the value of my spouse and help me to keep the purpose of our relationship at the forefront of my mind. When I’m not hitting the mark, I ask that You lead and guide me. I thank You that our relationship is one that honors You and each other. May our relationship be one You can use to show others your glory on the earth. Amen.

Reflection Questions

1. What are some ways I can show my spouse that I honor them?

2. What safeguards can I put in place to ensure that my value for my spouse does not decline?

3. What is the purpose of our relationship?