BalancedLIVING Fall 2014
Making a Good Decision in 7 Steps pg. 9 Don’t Let Anxiety Control your Life pp. 10 - 11
ren in g to Child in lk a T r Tips fo Trauma om ork Life fr W r u o Y e SeparatYour Home Life e hild’s Pos C : e y E S E NEW! MIN
BalancedLiving Summer 2014
MINES & Associates 10367 West Centennial Road Littleton, Colorado 80127 800.873.7138 www.MINESandAssociates.com
A word from your Employee Assistance Program... Welcome to the Fall 2014 issue of Balanced Living!
It is with bittersweet feelings that we say good bye to the summer heat and send the kids off to school for another year. As the summer-time fun comes to a close we wanted to talk about some vacation safety tips in case you are planning any traveling during the autumn months. We also look at talking to children in times of trauma because you can never be too prepared. On the lighter side of things we focus on balance in all things, including; your time, work/family life, as well as delve into some tips on decision-making and relieving anxiety And remember we’re here to talk if you need us, please don’t hesitate to call your Employee Assistance Program at 1-800-873-7138. To your health!
– The MINES Team
. . . . . . . . C r edits . . . . . . . Krames Staywell Separating Your Work Life From Your Home Life pg. 4 Don’t Let Anxiety Control Your Life pp. 10-11 Living a Life in Balance pp. 12-13 Life Advantages - Author Delvina Mirtemadi ©2014 Establishing Family Quiet Time pg. 5 Tips to More Effective Time Management pg. 8 Making a Good Decision in 7 Steps pg. 9 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration ©2014 Tips for Talking to Children in Trauma pp. 6-7 The MINES Team MINES Eye pg. 14 www.LiveStrong.com Recipe: Mini Veggie Frittatas pg. 15
Our theme for 2014, Total Wellbeing, has been designed to help bridge the gap between our potential and optimal wellbeing. We will supply the knowledge necessary to support healthy lifestyles in order to be well in both body and mind. With this idea of mind-body relationship at the forefront, our topics will focus on the 8 dimensions of wellness: Physical, Occupational, Intellectual, Environmental, Financial, Social, Spiritual, and Emotional Wellness. Each month we will explore how different aspects of wellbeing are connected to each other and more importantly how they apply to you so you can achieve balance and promote your own Total Wellbeing.
Total Wellbeing
The Year of Integration
Physical Spiritual Intellectual Social
Total
Emotional Financial Occupational Environmental
Keep an eye out on MINES & Associates in 2014 as we explore the mental health landscape. From financial planning to social influence, physical wellness to emotional health, all aspects of your life are connected and can affect your wellbeing. Let us help you stay on top of this constantly shifting world and make your wellbeing easier to focus on than ever before.
MINESBlog
A Fresh Perspective This year we will be talking about all kinds of innovative and useful topics centered around wellbeing and how it relates to you and the world you live in. So we invite you to get in on the conversation today. Read great articles, ask questions, and keep on top of what MINES is up to. See something you like? Rate it on our blog or tell us about it. Want to see something specific? Let us know what interests you and how MINES can help. Just go to www.minesblog.wordpress.com
Webinar Series
Useful Resources for the Mindful Professional
Wellbeing
Join our partner, Brown Richards, for any of their monthly webinars. This year they will cover a huge array of topics from paying for college, single parent survival tips, optimizing brain power, and much more! Visit our website to learn more, or register for upcoming events at www.minesandassociates.com/webinar.
Is there a topic you’d like to see us explore? We’d love to hear from you.
Shoot us an e-mail at communications@minesandassociates.com and let us know what you’d like to see.
www.MINESandAssociates.com | 800.873.7138
Separating Your Work Life From Your Home Life
The Information Age makes working from home a breeze. E-mail, intranets, phone calls, and faxes improve productivity and help create flexible lifestyles -- but they also can make it difficult to separate your work and home lives. This can be a problem whether you’re a telecommuter or a regular commuter who brings extra work home with you. “It’s easy to allow work to take over when it’s in your home,” says June Langhoff, a Pacifica, Calif.-based consultant and author of “The Telecommuter’s Advisor.” “You have to be on the alert.”
To keep work from consuming your home life, Ms. Langhoff suggests the following strategies: • Set expectations with family and friends. Your family, housemates, friends, and neighbors need to know that when you’re working at home, you’re working -- and they should know when and how to interrupt you. If work constantly consumes your home life, remind yourself why you chose to work at home. “Maybe it’s because you’d like to have some flexibility, more free time, or more time with family,” Ms. Langhoff says. At the same time, at-home workers must consider what’s acceptable to their families.
Work
Home
• Let the answering machine pick up. Early morning or evening phone calls from colleagues or clients can infringe on one’s personal life. East Coast early birds have been known to call Ms. Langhoff’s California office line as early as 4 a.m. her time, so she sometimes turns off her phone’s ringer. If someone calls in the evening, she’ll say, “I’m on my way out the door. I’ll be glad to call you back tomorrow morning.” Having a separate office line and caller ID helps her know which calls to answer. • Separate work and personal e-mails. File incoming work e-mails separately from personal ones, if possible, and deal with each at a designated time.
• Clock in, clock out. There’s no car or bus commute to put distance between you and your work worries when home is the official workplace. Setting your own transition rituals can help ease you out of work mode and back into a more relaxed, personal mind-set -- or vice versa. “Do whatever works for you. Some telecommuters I’ve talked with will go out to Starbucks and come back to their home offices with their coffee -- that’s their morning ritual. Then, at the end of the day, they may take a walk around the block,” she says. When you close up shop, push in your chair and shut the computer cabinet. “If I’m being really good, I’ll tidy up my work area. So then, it looks too neat to start again,” Ms. Langhoff says. • Set a regular non-work schedule. Plan a lunch with a friend, buy season tickets to the symphony, or go to the gym. “Those kinds of regular activities get you out with people and remind you there’s another life,” says Ms. Langhoff. “Then, say to yourself, ‘How can I get back to that?’ Ask for help from family and friends. Build in some time for you and your family -- whatever that might involve.” And when you need a break, such as a vacation, consider leaving your laptop at home. “Now, when I go on vacation, for the most part I don’t take my technology with me,” Ms. Langhoff says. “I even try to stay at a place that doesn’t have a phone. If I don’t do that, I never turn off my business side.” M
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Establishing Family Quiet Time Quiet time can help you recharge and regain a sense of peace that is critical to healthy living. One way to be sure you have this time is to establish a routine with your family and all take part in quite time together. This will help reduce interruptions and distraction and allow everyone time to de-stress from the problems of daily life. First things first, create guidelines. Setting up some rules can help both children and adults schedule quality quiet time. Below are some suggestions for rules that will help your quiet time go smoothly. • Choose time to have everyone take a break • Make sure everyone is home for the scheduled time • Suggest that quiet time be used for relaxing, reading, napping, writing, or drawing • Let each person find his or her own quiet activity • Encourage this to be solo quiet time, meant for the individual to reflect and take time for him or herself • Establish that all computers, TVs, radios, video games, telephones, faxes, electronic or batteryoperated toys or games are turned off • If interaction is needed, only allow whispering
Making Quiet Time a Daily Routine
Some people meditate, practice yoga, take a walk outside, or engage in another quiet activity to help them get through the day. For your family, it should be no different; quiet time should be an experience that helps lower the stress levels of kids and adults alike. An ideal quiet time routine for families is one that includes quiet time everyday. Start with a few days a week at first, and then try to make quiet time an everyday occurrence. Here are some ideas to help bring more quiet time into your family’s life: • What needs to get done in your house every day? Write these things down and the time that they happen, such as chores, waking up, meals, sports practice, etc. • Now see where quiet time can fit in. Maybe there’s a time after dinner when everyone is home. Plan quiet time for this time slot every day. • If the routine is set off balance by unexpected visitors or important appointments, try to set aside an extra chunk of quiet time per week, just in case your family misses some of their quiet time during the week. M Fall 2014 Balanced Living 5
Tips for Talking to Children in Trauma Children are just as affected as adults are by a disaster or traumatic event. Some may be affected even more, but no one realizes it. Without intending to we, as parents, may send our children a message that it is not alright to talk about the experience. This may cause confusion, self-doubt, and feelings of helplessness for a child. Children need to hear that it is normal to feel frightened during and after a disaster or traumatic event. When you acknowledge and normalize these feelings for your children, it will help them cope with their experience and move on. Following exposure to a disaster or traumatic event, children are likely to show signs of stress. Signs include sadness and anxiety, outbursts and tantrums, aggressive behavior, a return to earlier behavior that was outgrown, stomachaches and headaches, and an ongoing desire to stay home from school or away from friends. These reactions are normal and usually do not last long. Whether your child is a preschooler, adolescent, or somewhere in between, you can help your child by following the suggestions below.
Preschooler • • • • • • •
Stick to regular family routines Make an extra effort to provide comfort and reassurance Avoid unnecessary separations Permit a child to sleep in the parents’ room temporarily Encourage expression of feelings and emotions through play, drawing, puppet shows, and storytelling Limit media exposure Develop a safety plan for future incidents
Elementary Age Children • • • • • • •
Provide extra attention and consideration Set gentle but firm limits for acting out behavior Listen to a child’s repeated telling of his/her trauma experience Encourage expression of thoughts and feelings through conversation and play Provide home chores and rehabilitation activities that are structured, but not too demanding Rehearse safety measures for future incidents Point out kind deeds and the ways in which people helped each other during the disaster or traumatic event
Preadolescents and Adolescents • • • • • • •
Provide extra attention and consideration Be there to listen to your children, but don’t force them to talk about feelings and emotions Encourage discussion of trauma experiences among peers Promote involvement with community recovery work Urge participation in physical activities Encourage resumption of regular social and recreational activities Rehearse family safety measures for future incidents
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It is important to remember that you do not have to “fix” how your child feels. Instead, focus on helping your child understand and deal with his or her experiences. Healing is an evolving state for most children, but some may need professional help. If signs of stress do not subside after a few weeks, or if they get worse, consider consulting a mental health professional who has special training in working with children. In time, and with help, your children will a return to health. M If you or a loved one has been through a traumatic event and need to talk, please don’t hesitate to call MINES & Associates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 800-873-7138
Additional Resources American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 3615 Wisconsin Avenue, N.W. Washington, DC 20016-3007 Toll-free: 800-333-7636 www.aacap.org
National Mental Health Association
2001 N. Beauregard Street, 12th Floor Alexandria, VA 22311 Toll-free: 800-969-NMHA (6642) www.nmha.org/reassurance/anniversary/index.cfm
National Association of School Psychologists
Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)
National Emergency Assistance Team 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402 Bethesda, MD 20814 Phone: 301-657-0270 www.nasponline.org/NEAT
(Information for Children & Adolescents) P.O. Box 2012 Jessup, MD 20794-2012 Toll-free: 800-480-2520 www.fema.gov/kids/
National Center for Children Exposed to Violence
National Institute of Mental Health
Yale Child Study Center 230 South Frontage Road, P.O. Box 207900 New Haven, CT 06520-7900 Toll-free: 877-49 NCCEV (496-2238) www.nccev.org
Office of Communications 6001 Executive Boulevard Room 8184, MSC 9663 Bethesda, MD 20892-9663 Toll-free: 866-615-NIMH (6464) www.nimh.nih.gov
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Tips to More Effective Time Management When daily tasks build up and you feel overwhelmed, it’s difficult to know where to begin. To make things more complicated, you may find yourself easily distracted and unable to focus on completing one task at a time. However, there are many easy and helpful tips that will help you reorganize, prioritize, and start being productive.
For better time management: 1. Create a list of priorities on a daily, weekly, and/or monthly basis. 2. Be sure your list is organized so that the most important and time pressing items will be completed first. For example, before you decide to do a task, think to yourself, “What should I be doing right now?” Let that thought be your guide as you look for which task to do next. 3. If you’re having trouble getting started, pick an easy task and when you’re done check it off your list. After one or two of these, you will begin to feel the accomplishment that comes along with completing a task and will have the motivation to approach the more difficult items. 4. Arrange your work day so that you can keep interruptions to a minimum. Try to turn on your voicemail at certain times to avoid getting off task. 5. Schedule a specific time to check and reply to e-mails to avoid interruptions every couple minutes. 6. Set deadlines and create a daily/hourly workflow schedule that assures your task will be completed before that deadline. 7. Be realistic about your daily energy patterns. Complete important tasks when your energy is at its peak, and then save more routine tasks for when your energy is lower.
Things to stay away from: 1. Don’t be too much of a perfectionist as you move through tasks. Focus on getting the task done, rather than always getting it done perfectly. 2. Don’t take everything on yourself; delegate duties to appropriate coworkers or people in your life, when possible. 3. Don’t get off track. Learn to say “no” instead of sacrifice valuable time. 4. Don’t spend too much time on minor decisions. Save knit-picking for bigger things. 5. Don’t burn yourself out. Take breaks and go for a quick walk, talk to a friend, eat a nice lunch, etc. Giving your brain a rest and rejuvenating your body will make you more productive in the long run.
Try out the tips and see which ones help you most. Do you recognize any that have helped before? Mix and match or add your own; either way, it’s time to knock those items off your list so you can increase your productivity and let go of unneeded stress. M
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Making a Good Decision in Seven Steps When making important decisions, you should take time to consider the possible outcomes and consequences that may follow. Pay close attention for the various aspects that are weighing in on your decision and make sure they align with your priorities and future goals. Think before you act, and let these steps guide your decision-making process:
Step 1: Analyze the situation: • Is this the issue that should you should be focusing on? • Has the problem and direct root of the problem been identified? • Do you have the knowledge, facts, and input you need to make a good decision?
Step 2: Think about why you are making the decision. Find an objective: • What will be accomplished by the decision? • What do you hope the end results will be? What could other end results be? • Are you focusing on the path, rather than the end point?
Step 3: Think about elements you need to consider before making the decision: • In order to make the decision, have requirements for the decision been met? • Are you violating any restrictions by making the decision? • Are you in the position to best make the decision?
Step 4: Consider other alternatives: • Are there other ways to reach the end result? • Are there trusted colleagues or friends you could chat with for additional ideas? • Are there books, articles, charts, or diagrams that could guide you with ideas on alternative ways to reach the objective? • Have you given yourself enough time to think of and weigh out alternatives?
Step 5: Consider the impact of the decision. Evaluate and answer questions like: • • • • • •
How much will the decision cost? Is the decision realistic? Are availability requirements met? What will the impact be on others? Does the decision work within your time constraints? Are all other important elements considered?
Step 6: Review your alternative decisions: • Does any other alternative decision provide better impacts? • How can you best make an objective evaluation of the decision and its alternatives? Is there someone you could bounce ideas off of? • Are the subjective assessments you are making accurate and realistic?
Step 7: Make a decision and reflect: • Did the decision you chose provide the best impacts? If not, why did you decide this was best? Are your reasons clear? M Fall 2014 Balanced Living 9
Don’t Let Anxiety Control Your Life Anxiety is familiar to everyone due to the many stresses and complexities of modern life, but about 25 percent of U.S. adults have a serious problem with anxiety that must be addressed at some time in their lives. “Unlike fear, which is usually directed toward a concrete thing or event, such as a snarling dog or not meeting a deadline, anxiety is often nonspecific and can be brought on by worrying about the future, your finances, or your health, in general,” says Edmund Bourne, Ph.D., author of Coping With Anxiety. “Anxiety can appear in different forms and at different levels of intensity, and can range in severity from a mere twinge of uneasiness to a full-blown panic attack.” The causes of anxiety are varied and include upsets in brain chemistry, heredity, childhood trauma, abuse, chronic stress, loss of a loved one, and drug and alcohol abuse, to name a few. “While it can be helpful to identify possible causes of anxiety and address them, you don’t need to know why you feel anxious to be helped by practicing coping strategies,” says Dr. Bourne.
Coping strategies
The following practices are helpful for anyone with anxiety and may be all that’s needed if your anxiety level is mild and not disrupting your life. People with more severe anxiety, including anyone dealing with panic or post-traumatic stress disorder, will still find the exercises helpful but also may need therapy and/or medication. These exercises can be done individually or in any combination:
Take calming breaths This exercise quickly interrupts the momentum of anxiety symptoms. Breathing from your abdomen, inhale through your nose slowly to a count of five. Pause and hold your breath to a count of five. Exhale slowly to a count of five. Take two normal breaths, then repeat the cycle for three to five minutes.
Stop magnifying problems Exaggerating problems by making them seem bigger and more serious than they are can lead to anxiety. To combat this way of thinking, stop using words such as terrible, awful, or horrendous in relation to events or situations in your life. Instead of saying to yourself, “It’s unbearable,” or “I can’t stand it,” try saying, “I can cope” and “I can deal with and survive this.”
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Stop worrisome thoughts Use this strategy if you find yourself stuck in a spiral of worrisome thoughts that won’t go away. “If you’re alone and want to halt a chain of anxious thoughts, shout in a loud and forceful manner, ‘Stop!’ or ‘Stop it!’” says Dr. Bourne. “If you’re with other people, shout internally as you visualize a large stop sign.” Every time the worrisome thoughts return, repeat the spoken or internal command to yourself.
Shift your point of view When anxiety or worry about an actual or possible problem is getting the best of you, try thinking about the situation in the following ways: • Tell yourself you can lighten up about it. • Say the affirmation, “This too shall pass.” • Realize it’s not likely to be as bad as your worst thoughts about it.
Combat negative self-talk
Positive affirmations can help you cope with anxiety in the moment and over the long-term by helping you change longstanding beliefs, which tend to enable anxiety. To make your thoughts more constructive and supportive, replace or refute each negative statement. For example, replace “This is unbearable” with “I can learn to cope with this.” Or, replace “What if this goes on without stopping?” with “I’ll deal with this one day at a time.” “Resisting or fighting anxiety is likely to make it worse,” says Dr. Bourne. “A more constructive approach is to cultivate an attitude that says, ‘OK, here it is again. I can handle this. I’ve done it before.’ In most cases, anxiety peaks and begins to subside in a few minutes. It will pass more quickly if you practice coping strategies regularly when you start to feel anxious.” M Fall 2014 Balanced Living 11
Living a Life in Balance Do you feel like your life is too complicated? Are you often torn between your work and home responsibilities? “If so, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to despair,” says Odette Pollar, president of Smart Ways to Work, a personal productivity firm in Oakland, Calif., and author of Take Back Your Life. “You can gain peace and relief by making a conscious effort to reduce the complexities in your life and achieve balance.” Given all you have to do, it’s easy to lose sight of what’s probably your ultimate goal: to enjoy your life as you follow through on your personal and professional responsibilities in satisfying ways. Here are Ms. Pollar’s suggestions for successfully balancing your time and life.
Learn to streamline Speeding up and trying to force more and more into the same blocks of time isn’t the best way to have more time in your life. According to Ms. Pollar, the best way to “get it all done” is to have fewer things to do by consciously streamlining your ongoing responsibilities. Being selective about your choices and how you spend your time is important. And it’s vital to keep your perspective and establish realistic expectations for yourself. “Regaining balance starts with the awareness that something is out of kilter, that you have too much going on,” she says. “From there you can identify what you want less of in your life.”
Ask yourself questions You can achieve balance by setting your priorities and creating a life around them. This is a long-term process and requires thought and insight. As a way to get started, take some time to list three to five answers to these questions: • • • • •
What physical needs are important to you and why? What emotional needs are important to you and why? What mental needs must be filled to make you content? What causes the sense of frustration or depression you may feel? What does success -- both personal and professional -- mean to you?
Your answers will provide information you can use to make changes in your life.
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Determine what you want Before making any big changes, consider the results you want to achieve. This will give you a starting point from which to choose a direction and set goals. For example, you might want to: • Enjoy work and have enough energy left at the end of the day to enjoy your home life. • Cultivate a better relationship with your children, partner, friends and extended family. • Do more things you’d like to do and feel more content. By reacquainting yourself with your needs, desires, and feelings, you can make a plan with a systematic approach for achieving your goals.
Respect the process Achieving balance is an ongoing process that requires your regular attention. As you move forward, talk with others about how they have achieved balance in their lives and share your successes. As you continue on your road to a more satisfying life, remember the following. • Keep your job and your life in perspective. Success at the expense of relaxation and enjoyment is not success. • Take yourself less seriously. Learn to see and appreciate the lighter side of life. • Learn to say “no.” Be firm without apology or guilt. “It’s easier to balance a simpler life,” says Ms. Pollar. “For a life worth living, eliminate the unimportant, whether it be relationships, tasks, responsibilities, possessions, or beliefs.” M
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MINESEye
The importance of staying mindful.
With MINES Eye we will focus on meditation techniques, basic yoga poses, and mindfulness practices to help you stay in control of your thoughts and expand your mind as well as body. Yoga Pose #2: Child’s Pose MINES Eye’s nest pose is a great pose for lower back pain, stretching the arms and relaxing the entire body. Child’s Pose will help stretch your hips, thighs, back, neck, and arms. The pose allows you to breath into your core and back, releasing tension and easing lower back pain.
Child’s Pose Step 1: Start the pose in a kneeling position. While keeping your knees on the floor and legs together, sit up straight, keeping your butt on your heels. Let your arms hang at your sides, and take a few relaxing deep breaths.
Child’s Pose Step 2: Slowly lean forward, bringing your chest to your thighs. Keep your shoulders and neck relaxed, and keep going until your head is rested comfortably on the floor. Take a few more deep breaths and make sure that your butt is still resting on your heels Child’s Pose Step 3: Maintain this position and let your arms rest palm up next to your feet. For an increased back and shoulder stretch you can extend your arms outward in front of your head. Continue to relax and take at least 5 deep breaths before returning to a sitting position. Note: Pregnant women or less flexible individuals can open their knees while performing the pose to make things a bit easier. Also if your neck hurts, feel free to rest it on a towel or pillow when in the lowered position. M 14
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SEASONAL RECIPE
Mini Veggie Frittatas • • • • • • • •
10 Eggs 3/4 cup Roasted Red Pepper 5 oz Crumbled Goat Cheese 2 cups Spinach, Chopped, Frozen 3 tbsp Milk Canola Cooking Spray Salt Pepper
1. Microwave spinach on high for two minutes. Wring with hands to drain excess liquid. 2. Beat eggs and milk in a small bowl. 3. Mix in goat cheese. 4. Add veggies and salt and pepper to taste. 5. Pour mix into muffin tins coated with canola cooking spray. 6. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 to 15 minutes, or until firm and just golden on top. 7. Once cooled, you can store the frittatas in the fridge. To warm you can microwave for 20 to 40 seconds to reheat, or pop them in a toaster oven for about a minute.
Makes approximately 16 frittatas (8 servings) Nutritional analysis (per serving): 162 calories; 8.95 g fat (4.07 g sat); 275 mg cholesterol; 4.39 g carbohydrates; 1.39 g from sugars; 11.81 g protein; 1.5 g fiber; 262.59 mg sodium.
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Helping you keep
your balance
Your Employee Assistance Program is here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week It’s confidential, FREE, and available to you and your family. For information or confidential assistance call 1-800-873-7138