July/August 2020 by Minnesota Parent

July/August 2020

STRAWBERRY BREAKFAST COOKIES! PAGE 26

GOING DEBT-FREE AS A FAMILY OF 9 PAGE 18

THE BEST CAMPING GEAR FOR FAMILIES PAGE 38

ANTI-RACIST RESOURCES PAGE 12

WEANING DONE YOUR WAY PAGE 10

CUTE MASKS FOR KIDS PAGE 8

THE OKEE DOKEE BROTHERSâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Joe Mailander and his wife, Ali, with their son, Hap, 3, in Minneapolis PAGE 28

JULY/AUGUST Songs for Singin’

[ VOLUME 35 /// ISSUE 6]

Meet the new editor! Jenny Stanley is ready to take the helm of Minnesota Parent 8 CHATTER

Masks for kids

Leopard prints, dinos and more decorate these cute face coverings!

Joe Mailander and Justin Lansing of The Okee Dokee Brothers talk about their new album, which seems to have come at just the right time for parents. Photo by Nate Ryan Photography

BWCWA bound!

6 FROM THE EDITOR

10 BUMP, BIRTH AND BABY

Weaning woes

Ending the era of breastfeeding is best done gradually by Baby. 12 THE UNCENSORED TODDLER

Get up, stand up

Doing nothing about racism is just another way to support it. 14 SCHOOL DAYS

The power of now

If the future is daunting, why not live more in the present?

You don’t have to be a backcountry expert to take your family to the Boundary Waters. (Plus, we’ve got all the best gear!) Photo by Annie Brenney

ALSO INSIDE

16 WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM

Solidarity

It’s really never too early to talk to kids about race and fairness. 18 #ADULTING

Debt free

40 Out & About

CA L E N DA R

A father of nine shares his story of financial recovery. 20 ASK THE PEDIATRICIAN

Pandemic blues

How can you help your kids emotionally during COVID?

About our cover kid Name: Hap Age: 3 City: Minneapolis Parents: Joe and Ali Mailander Personality: Talkative and imaginative Favorite toy: Gnomes Favorite book: Shel Silverstein poems Favorite activity: Running through the sprinkler Favorite food: Cantaloupe Photos by Tracy Walsh Photography tracywalshphoto.com

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

22 ON BEHAVIOR

Body parts

Just call them what they are and your kids won’t get so confused. 24 BOOKSHELF

The Snowy Day It’s been 58 years since the release of this important book. 26 IN THE KITCHEN

Oat excellence Win breakfast with these granola-inspired cookies. 42 FROM OUR READERS

Bookworms

Your little ones love to read. And, yes, we have evidence.

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FROM THE EDITOR

A new chapter mnparent.com

PUBLISHER Janis Hall • jhall@mnparent.com

SALES MANAGER AND CO-PUBLISHER Terry Gahan • tgahan@mnparent.com

GENERAL MANAGER Zoe Gahan • zgahan@mnparent.com

EDITOR Sarah Jackson • editor@mnparent.com

CONTRIBUTORS Timi Bliss, Dr. Gigi Chawla, Heidi Croatt, Megan Devine, Katie Dohman, Ed Dykhuizen, Shannon Keough, Mike Kojonen, Tracy Walsh, Jen Wittes

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Valerie Moe • vmoe@mnparent.com

ART DIRECTOR Dani Cunningham

CIRCULATION Marlo Johnson 612-436-4388 • distribution@mnparent.com

ADVERTISING 612-436-4360 • sales@mnparent.com 40,000 copies of Minnesota Parent are printed monthly, available at 1,100 locations: mnparent.com/racks Go to mnparent.com/subscribe to get this magazine mailed to your home for $18 a year.

Minnesota Parent (ISSN 0740 3437) is published monthly by Minnesota Premier Publications. POSTMASTER send address changes to: MINNESOTA PARENT, 1115 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403. Minnesota Parent is copyright 2020 by Minnesota Premier Publications. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. Address all material to address above.

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

ep. Here we are with another issue of Minnesota Parent, still kicking, still humming right along, in fact, despite “all that’s been going on.” Though our issues have become bi-monthly — that’s every other month — due to the economic environment caused by COVID-19, we’re delighted to present to you our latest work. Despite the fact that I accepted another job back in May, I’ve stuck around as interim editor because I just can’t quit this wonderful gig — not when I had a chance to write a cover story about Joe Mailander of The Okee Dokee Brothers, a deal that had been in the works since January. Not when we were in the middle of pulling together stories that helped parents process racial injustice with their kids, deal with the pandemic and get through everyday parenting issues. And not when we hadn’t found just the right editor to take over the helm. But guess what? We did finally find the right editor and her name is Jenny Stanley. Not only is she a super-mama to a teenage daughter, she’s also a smart editor and writer with more than a decade of experience in both print and digital publishing. When she’s away from her computer, she enjoys doing anything outdoors, including impromptu photoshoots with her kid, but especially running, kayaking and taking evening walks with her husband. I know Jenny personally and I have to tell you she’s an all-around good soul, adored by all who know her. More important, she’s a content wizard, brimming with terrific ideas for future issues. I truly can’t wait to see what she does to take the magazine to the next level. Her energy, insight and awareness will serve you well. In the meantime, I hope you’ll enjoy these painstakingly prepared pages, including a continued commitment to our #voicesofcolor initiative. Though we’re just getting started in our effort to include more diverse voices in our magazine (a push that launched back in October 2019), we’re sticking with it. In this issue, you’ll find the words of local author Timi Bliss, who’s asking tough questions about the absence of Black kids in children’s literature on our Bookshelf pages. Jenny has pledged to carry our efforts forward in creating real change, even if we are starting small. Thank you, again, for letting me publish one more magazine. I hope you enjoy it! Sarah Jackson, Editor

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CHATTER

Get fresh-faced with new masks! Mask-wearing is likely to be a way of life for

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the reusable kind, right?

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distributes necessities to low-income children and parents, now including masks. See petunia.com for more options, including a Unicorns & Dinos four-pack for kids, designed by a 14-year-old artist —

baby goods, the Minneapolis-

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Celebrating differences Leslie Pitt’s life changed forever on her first day of summer vacation when she was 6 years old. After playing with her best friend, she hopped onto her bike for a short ride. But on the way home, she was struck by a dump truck. The impact completely crushed her left leg, forcing her to have it amputated. Instead of looking back on that day with anger or anguish, Pitt has come to embrace her circumstances. Living with limb loss taught Pitt that sometimes our greatest losses can become the pillars of our greatest strengths. What some might label a disability, Pitt considers an enabling situation: She went on to get degrees in law, nursing, and global health and human rights. Though she’s been an advocate for those with limb loss for decades, Pitt recently founded Project Lolo (Love Ourselves Love Others), a nonprofit organization that helps children around the world who need orthopedic care or assistive mobility devices.

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

More recently, Pitt added a powerful story to her resume with a 32-page children’s picture book — Lolo’s Superpower ($16.95 hardcover) — with a message that children should love the traits that make them unique, no matter what some folks might say. In a tale reminiscent of the classic story Corduroy, readers follow the adventures of Lolo, a doll who lives in a toy store, alone, on the very bottom shelf below all the other dolls. Lolo doesn’t really look like the other dolls. But Lolo really loves being different — and decides those differences must be a superpower! Pitt, as soon as she is able, plans to bring the story of Lolo’s Superpower to classrooms, hospitals and youth camps to help further educate children about finding their superpowers. She’s also hosting a crowdsource campaign to help produce a plush toy doll Lolo as a companion to her book, and hopes to make it available for purchase later this year. Meanwhile, Pitt, with her international organization, is working to help the world’s 93 million children with disabilities live their best lives, despite discrimination, especially in developing countries. Learn more at projectlolo.org.

Leslie Pitt, creator of Project Lolo.

Jen Wittes

BUMP, BIRTH AND BABY

Weaning done your way M

erriam Webster defines the verb wean as “to accustom (a young child or animal) to take food otherwise than by nursing.” The use of the word accustom implies a process rather than an abrupt movement. This couldn’t be more accurate in terms of what is best for Mom and Baby. The more gradual, the better.

First taste to last sip The true start of weaning is always the moment a child takes a first taste of food other than breastmilk — be it sweet potato puree, supplemental formula or frosting on the first birthday cupcake. That first taste is the first step to becoming accustomed to taking food otherwise than by nursing. With this in mind, many parents start the weaning process without even realizing it’s happening. This is a good thing! This is an individual, instinctive dance and it’s different for each family and baby. The catalyst often comes from the wisdom of Baby, reaching for your food or moving his mouth as you eat. While some moms do get a little emotional about that first taste of “something” other than breastmilk, the real emotional upheaval comes with the last

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July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

nursing session, which also might float by unceremoniously — because you may not know it’s the last.

Highs and lows Breastfeeding is a continuation of the symbiosis of pregnancy. As with the development of the placenta and the first signs of labor, hormones are responsible for making breastfeeding work. While several hormones come to play in the breastfeeding dance, the two big ones are oxytocin and prolactin. I describe them as “big” because they have powerful, positive side effects. Prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production, also puts the mother in a mellow, patient mood. Biology is pretty cool. A calm breastfeeding mom transfers that feeling of calm to Baby! Oxytocin, responsible for milk ejection, is often called “the love hormone” and brings about the sweet, tender feelings a mom gets while feeding her baby. It’s that natural high we get when we hold hands with a loved one, hug an old friend or experience an orgasm with a loving partner. The breastfeeding mother is absolutely flooded with oxytocin at very high levels. Of course, that which goes up must

come down. Weaning often brings about a massive hormonal crash that can cause weepiness, anxiety, depression, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, low libido … or all of the above. This can happen to any breastfeeding mother, but the crash is more significant in abrupt weaning and when the nursing duo typically has more than two feeding sessions per day. Weaning, particularly abrupt weaning, may also lead to breast engorgement, plugged ducts and mastitis. Because you don’t want to encourage milk production, minimal expression of the milk should be done during weaning — just enough to release uncomfortable fullness. Hot showers and warm compresses encourage natural milk flow; cool compresses relieve the pain. Cold cabbage leaves are a traditional remedy for painfully engorged breasts,

becasue they contain an amino acid which possibly acts as an anti-inflammatory and anti-irritant, increasing blood flow to the area and thus milk flow. Whether or not this is true, many moms find the cool, dry cabbage leaf to be soothing. Never bind your breasts. This is outdated and can lead to clogged pores, ducts and mastitis.

Healthy moms hurt less Help for hormonal woes and engorgement comes best the old-fashioned way: Take impeccable care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, live well and ask for help if you need it. Hormones balance best with a diet that’s low in sugar and high in protein and healthy fats. Leafy greens and B-vitamins boost health and lower stress. Stress is a hormone disrupter, so do what you can to minimize it. Again, all of the bummer moods and symptoms of weaning are less severe when weaning happens gradually, which usually means cutting one nursing session every few weeks. I also recommend tuning into other oxytocin sources — your partner, your pet and all the many ways other than breastfeeding that you remain close and connected to your child, including hugs and snuggles galore. The oxytocin found in these connections won’t come in a rush or a jolt, as with breastfeeding, but if you nurture these channels, you may find that a steady stream of the love hormone will keep you afloat. It’s also a great idea to feel the wide spectrum of feelings — the elation, the freedom, the heartbreak, the exhaustion. Cry, scream, kick, sigh, laugh. Weaning is just one of the many moments in parenthood where you will let go and move forward. It is, by nature, bittersweet.

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mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Shannon Keough

THE UNCENSORED TODDLER

The Times They Are a-Changin’ (I hope) T

he curtain has fallen away, and the ugly truth has been revealed once again. Minnesota has a race problem. I can’t get the image of Derek Chauvin with his knee pressed into the neck of George Floyd out of my head. A murder in broad daylight, as three additional Minneapolis police officers stood by and did nothing. And all the while, Chauvin, in his posture of domination, with a smug look on his face, looked almost … relaxed. Kind of like he was pretty sure he’d get away with it. And why shouldn’t he assume that? In the history of Minnesota, only one police officer has been convicted of murder for an on-duty killing, and that was Mohammad Noor — a Somali-American Black man who shot and killed Justine Damond, a white woman. Remember Philando Castile? Or Jamar Clark? When the victim is Black, justice suddenly becomes mysteriously out of reach.

Not so livable Minnesota is much-vaunted for its general “livability.” With a strong economy featuring relatively high median salaries and low unemployment (pre-COVID-19, that is), the availability of affordable housing, abundant green spaces and a thriving cultural landscape (again, pre-pandemic), Minnesota does indeed have a lot going for it. It’s a great place to live. If you’re white, that is. A 2019 Star Tribune article — How did Minnesota become one of the most racially inequitable states? — dug into Minnesota’s shameful racial disparities, finding that the

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

gap between white and Black Minnesotans is among the largest in the country. “For example, poverty among whites in Minnesota is about 7%, while the rate is more than four times higher at 32% for Blacks, the third biggest gap in the country,” wrote Randy Furst and Mary Jo Webster. Check out the article (tinyurl. com/big-gap-mn) to learn more about the stark disparities in education, employment and homeownership. These racial disparities are an embarrassment to Minnesota. And while I think this institutionalized inequality is terrible and unjust, I have to point out that when I do nothing to change the situation, I’m perpetuating it.

What to do? There’s so much that needs to be done, and I’m not the authority on what that is. There are organizations to support, with your time or money. There are communities to rebuild. There’s political action to be taken. I trust that readers of good faith

can do the work to figure out what actions make the most sense for them. Of course, it can be overwhelming to figure out steps you can take as an individual. (See the resources sidebar if you need a starting point.) I’ve been thinking about all this as a parent, and as a white person in Minnesota. It would be easy enough to do nothing. My kids would still attend their good public school, I’d still have my nice house, I could still call the police in an emergency and assume I’d live to see the next day. I could do nothing, but it would be immoral. When we talked to our kids, age 6 and 8, about George Floyd we were straightforward, honest, no sugar-coating. But at the same time, we remained calm. (I’ve seen some parents get so agitated that their kids have broken down in tears.) We said we’d focus on actions and things we can do to help promote positive change — and then we headed out to peacefully protest.

Minnesota Nice Minnesota’s racism is insidious. When “nice” white Minnesotans think about racism, I imagine they often picture something overt — a red-faced white guy waving a confederate flag and shouting racial epithets, perhaps. We’re nothing like them, they think. And while I don’t deny that Minnesota

RESOURCES Stories for kids: This Hennepin County Library page offers a list of books adapted for children and teens, such as Just Mercy: Adapted for Young People: A True Story of the Fight for Justice. See tinyurl.com/wokehennepin. See mnparent.com/colorful for five great stories with protagonists of color. Books for adults: See mnparent.com/woke for insight into the woke movement and plenty of books to get you there if you’re white. Anguish and Action: The Obamas help people learn what they do to create a more just and equitable world. See obama.org/anguish-and-action. #voicesofcolor: In October 2019, Minnesota Parent began actively working to diversify its parent-writer base. If you’re a talented writer of color — or if you’d like to be a go-to parent-of-color source for upcoming articles — contact our incoming editor, Jenny Stanley at mnparenteditor@mnpubs. com, about opportunities to raise your voice on parenting topics.

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harbors such open racists, many of our problems fly under the radar. Our habit of being “nice” and non-confrontational exacerbates the problem. “I’ll never change his mind,” we think as we silently grit our teeth while Uncle Joe rails against Black Lives Matter. “I guess this is just how it is,” we say to ourselves when we notice that our corporate office is 99% white. But this isn’t what I want for my kids. I don’t want them to learn to look the other way. And if you feel the same way, that means we need to start speaking up. We need to make it clear that we won’t tolerate casual racism or casual misogyny from our friends, family members, coworkers or so-called leaders. We need to support the organizations and up-andcoming leaders who seek to make positive, systemic change. And we need to vote like our lives depend on it, because they do. Shannon Keough lives in St. Paul with her husband and two children. Send questions or comments to skeough@mnparent.com. MPR MNP 0720 H4.indd 1

6/25/20 11:57 AM

mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Preparing for the unknown O

h, what a world we’re living in! And who knows what this next school year will bring? As an elementary educator, at this point in the summer, I would typically be starting to gear up for the next school year by hitting the reset and refresh button in my classroom, so to speak. I would be polishing up tried-and-true learning resources and materials, knowing much of what to anticipate starting the new school year. I would be plotting out my classroom organization and envisioning new, fun and engaging hands-on learning experiences. I’d be planning and preparing for what I know how to do and what I’ve been doing for the 19 previous school years as an early elementary school teacher, which is helping a lot of little, messy, germy people learn and play in a small space. I’m writing these words in late May, in the thick of the final days of a nine-week

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July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

marathon of distance learning. I miss my daily physical interactions with students, my busy classroom and the normal we all knew and often took for granted before the pandemic. I’m looking forward to completing this school year, but the unfortunate truth is that the effects of the virus are going to continue to change how teachers need to work and educate students for a while. The way I’m going to approach the start of the 2020-2021 school year is going to be different — and I know it’s going to be a lot of hard work. This daunting task, with so many unknowns, new parameters and guidelines, already triggers a stress response in my body.

The school year ahead As an educator — and a parent of four school kids — I’m going to do my best to

approach the upcoming school year with an open mind. The more I wrap my head around the understanding that things are NOT going to be the same as before, the more I find room opening up in my mind for creative solutions. I’ve been trying to heed the advice and teachings of Eckhart Tolle and focusing on acceptance and mindfulness. (He’s the author of the influential book The Power of Now, which encourages embracing the present.) Acceptance can be an important strategy for stress management in this trying time. That’s something I need to remind myself of daily both as an educator and as a parent. Instead of focusing my energy on the disappointment and frustration of not being able to get “back to normal” with my teaching, I’ll instead focus on designing and implementing the best educational experience I can in a different way, given the circumstances. I will work to problem-solve, to learn new ways of doing things and to persevere through the challenges of the unknown. At home, I’ve needed to accept the reality that some days will be better than others. Everyone in our household is going to have hard days. We’re all adjusting to different lifestyle changes and are grieving the losses of things that have been important to us. I’ve also found I need to accept my own

Acceptance can be an important strategy for stress management in this trying time. limitations, of what I can do or can’t do on any given day — and also to have compassion for others who are working through their own individual struggles with their own capacities for stress and resilience during the pandemic.

Leaning into mindfulness Mindfulness is another strategy I’m trying to intentionally practice amid all of the unknowns. It’s very easy to get caught up in the act of worrying about future situations or scenarios that are out of our control — and doing so really doesn’t do any of us much good. The reality is, all we really can count on for sure is what’s happening in the present moment. I’m working on striking a healthy and productive balance. Taking action to stay healthy, to plan and to prepare, but also being mindful of where I am — focusing my thoughts and attention on the moment if I start to get worried or stressed. When my mind starts spinning, I’m working on intentionally trying to shift my attention back to the present moment. I’m also working to find and focus on the positive, silver-lining moments that are part of this crazy experience, each and every day. If you’re interested in this idea, check out this podcast: Eckhart Tolle: How to Find a New Spiritual Awakening During the Pandemic, as part of Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations. See tinyurl.com/ acceptanceandmindfulness. So yes, friends, we’re all navigating this together. Let us all be gentle and kind with our children, with ourselves and with each other. Megan Devine lives with her husband and four school-age children in Northeastern Minnesota. Follow her blog — Kids, Lakes, Loons and Pines — at megdevine.com.

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mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Katie Dohman

WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM

Parenting (and protesting) during a pandemic J

ust as I was sitting down to write this column, I had been doom-scrolling yet again on Twitter, wherein I saw people arguing over who had it worse — parents or non-parents — during the pandemic. Here’s what I think: You can’t build collective solidarity against the systemic things crushing all of us if we fight amongst ourselves. I’m not going to lie, I waaaaaaaited to write this column, for a few reasons. One: By the time this is published, what fresh hell will the firehose have wrought? Two: What can I say in this moment that would possibly be worthwhile? Everything feels simultaneously apocalyptic (climate, democracy), revolutionary (uprisings, protests) and tedious (making snack #1,567,899 of the day, but then seeing it go to waste). What my kids know is that we’re still mostly stuck at home and worn down. Just the other day, my 5-year-old was listing off some of his favorite people and asking whether we could go visit them. He was persistent, and I was getting impatient, which I’m sure he sensed. He finally let out a growl and said, “I’m so frustrated! I just want to see some people!” I immediately softened. Here I am, caught up in managing my own BS daily — some days better than others, clearly — and here’s my small person, telling me he’s lonely. Of course he’s lonely. He asks about school, friends and family with hope in his voice that something’s changed since the night before, with optimism that I’ll have

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

better news for him. He asks for 10 million hugs a day. He does naughty things because cranky attention from his distracted mother is better than her just staring into her tiny electronic box, typing to pay the bills. Speaking of that hope, that something will change, there’s the other pandemic:

We’re talking to our kids about race. They’re not too young. No kids are. There’s lots of data out there about it, but most important, we have the voices of our friends and neighbors, and the news, telling us how desperately things need to change. As one way to show our solidarity, we took all the kids to a

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protest, and explained why. They joined with enthusiasm. A few days later, I got a free copy of Postpartum Counseling Center MNP 0719 V6.indd People in the mail. I set it aside, forgetting about it. Later, my 7-year-old brought it to me with a furrowed brow and glossy eyes, pages open to a photo of a mural of George Floyd. A young Black girl is standing in front of the mural with a sign: “My daddy plays with me. My daddy reads to me. My daddy tucks me in at night. Please don’t kill my daddy. I promise he’s a good guy.” She read it on her own. I said, “That’s a painting of George Floyd.” She knew. I said, “That little girl is afraid that will happen to her daddy, too, because of the color of their skin.” She was quiet. We sat. Finally, she said, “I’m glad we went to the protest, Mama. Let’s go to another one.”

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Katie Dohman lives in the Twin Cities with her three kids, two pets and one husband. Follow her at instagram.com/dohmicile. mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Mike Kojonen

#ADULTING

Our road to financial freedom

ebt isn’t something that happens overnight. My wife of 20 years and I watched it accumulate for years before we were forced to take action. It’s hard to look back at what we went through, but knowing how far we’ve come inspires us to share our story to help prevent others from going through what our family did. Flashback to 2002: We had a great life with five children, a nice home, fancy vehicles and a cabin on the lake. I was working in the mortgage industry, and the housing market was booming! While I was making a lot of money, we were carelessly spending and putting everything on credit. We weren’t prepared for the housing industry to go south, which is exactly what happened. The real estate bubble popped. At the end of 2007, people could no longer refinance, housing prices dropped and I wasn’t getting any new business. All 22 of

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

my employees had moved on to different careers. By the end of 2008, my take-home pay had dropped by 75%. We ended up having to short-sale our home, sell our cabin and begin renting. We sold our expensive vehicles and bought much older cars with cash.

Sacrificing, collaborating My wife and I had never experienced this kind of stress in our lives. We were always able to pay our bills, but now our phone was ringing off the hook with creditors wanting to get paid. We knew we couldn’t ignore our debt any longer; there had to be a better way. We understood money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce, but in our experience, our marriage came out stronger because we were on the same team and both knew the lifestyle we wanted to achieve. Getting out of debt is challenging and you

↑ Mike Kojonen and his wife, Angie, celebrated their daughter’s wedding in 2019, many years after conquering their debt.

have to make sacrifices. Our family cut out the extras, and my wife and I talked through all purchases. We understood this was necessary to hold each other accountable. After getting a paycheck, I would go to the bank, get cash and put the money in designated envelopes — rent, utilities, groceries. If we didn’t have the cash to pay for something, we didn’t buy it. While we were going through these tough times, there were constant reminders of how we got ourselves into this situation, which motivated us to keep going.

Talking to the kids Throughout our journey of becoming debt-free, our family was changing and growing. Our two oldest children had graduated and moved out, and we had five

younger children at home. In the spring of 2013, the year we paid off most of the debt, our twins were born. Our older children were definitely more aware of their surroundings and situations, but we didn’t talk about our debt with our younger children. We didn’t want to add more stress to their lives; this wasn’t their burden to carry.

Speaking from experience

Mike Kojonen specializes in helping preretirees/retirees with retirement planning. He’s the founder/owner of Principal Preservation Services, a Minnesota and Wisconsin insurance agency. Learn more at principalpreservationservices.com.

All thingS

Our September Baby Issue focuses on all the things new moms and moms-to-be want to know.

BabY

Debt is a humbling experience. Not only were we figuring out our finances, but I was also making a career change. In fact, I was working to become a financial advisor. Today, when someone comes into my office who has experienced a job loss, illness or loss of a spouse, I can coach them through that situation because I’ve also experienced hardships and came out on the other side a better person. I also know how to negotiate debt because I’ve experienced it myself. I don’t recommend filing for bankruptcy and consider it the easy way out. In the end, you won’t learn anything or change your habits. My family of 11 — we have nine children now — wouldn’t be where we are today if we didn’t take a stance against debt. Now that our debt has been eliminated, I can help others. Getting out of debt allows for more freedom to have special experiences and create those memories we all want. In the end, experiences with our family and friends are what makes us happy.

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mnparent.com • July/August 2020

aby

Dr. Gigi Chawla

Handling the stress of COVID I’m worried about my kids and the long-term effects of this global health crisis. It’s not so much the fear of the virus itself, but all the upheaval in life, family, school. Am I right to worry? To say this is a stressful time is an understatement. COVID-19 is changing our lives in so many ways. For kids, it’s completely upended their school life, their sports, hobbies, routines. No one can say for certain how long the pandemic will last, so it’s understandable to wonder how the switch to a “new normal” will impact kids. From toddlers to teenagers, kids are facing a number of challenges to their routines and development during this time. Social distancing means they can’t play with their friends — and develop interactive social and physical skills like they could before — and that can lead to feelings of isolation. Teens are typically beginning to explore their need for independence. But that normal part of growing up is hard to do when it’s recommended that they stay home. And, we can’t forget about parents; they’re under more stress, too. We also know some trauma can have lasting effects on kids. There’s a term for that type of trauma — adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). These are traumatic events during childhood that have been linked to health and mental health problems in adulthood. So how will this generation handle this experience? We just don’t know. But children are tremendously resilient

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

— and there’s a lot we can do to help them. Try honesty: It starts with us. Parents are, after all, the people children look to when they’re learning how to cope. Kids take cues from us. My colleague Sarah Jerstad, a child psychologist, reminds us that the emotional tone you use when talking about COVID-19 can often be more important than what you say. She says: “It’s a matter of being yourself. Don’t try to be too tough or too strong for these kids or pretend that this isn’t a big deal. It is, and they’ll recognize that you’re feeling that, too. And if you’re honest about it — and if you can model that for your kids — it’s actually really helpful.” Stay on schedule: There are other small, simple things to help ease your

children’s stress during this time. Keep a schedule for daily and weekly activities like reading, getting physically active and sleep. Kids feel better, and often calmer, when they can stick to a schedule. Limit screen time: Being out of school and away from their friends can feel very isolating, so find ways to help them stay connected. Technology is great for that during lockdown, of course — though we also recommend limiting the amount of time they spend on devices. Get outside: When they need a break from screens, get them outdoors. Walks around the neighborhood or a game in the park can do wonders for every member of your family. Ask for help: Don’t be afraid to reach

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Find more helpful resources — including an online behavior checker — at childrensmn.org/ behavioral-support-hub.

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www.havenhousing.org out for help for yourself or your child. Whether your child has previously needed support for mental health or if you’re newly worried about a child who’s having a hard time right now, help is available. We at Children’s Minnesota are working hard to make sure we can be there for everyone who needs us, even if it’s through a virtual consultation. Parents need to take care of themselves, too, and reach out for help if they need it. Find more resources — including an online behavior checker — at childrensmn. org/behavioral-support-hub. Dr. Gigi Chawla is a board-certified pediatrician and the chief of general pediatrics at Children’s Minnesota.

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mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Heidi Croatt

ON BEHAVIOR

Why you need to use the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’ Q: Is it really that important to use proper names and labels with our kids’ bodies? A: Yes, yes it is. Here are my top five reasons: → Our body parts have actual names. We don’t have to make up words to label them. They already exist. → It helps set the stage for future conversations with our kids. Your 10-yearold daughter will have a hard time talking to you when she gets her period if she’s never heard you talk about a vagina. Your kids need to know, and experience, talking about this stuff with you. Starting to use the word penis with your preteen might be awkward, but your 3-year-old will accept whatever you call it — so take advantage of his development and use the proper terminology now. (You’ll thank me when he’s older!) → It shows our kids that there’s no shame in our bodies. Every body part is unique and serves an important purpose; we want our kids to understand that. We’re so comfortable talking about other body parts — Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes anyone? — but if we can’t talk about these body parts, it sends a message that we’re not comfortable talking about them. They’ll get plenty of messages from the world about how those body parts are bad, or gross, so make sure the message they get from you is that every body part is important and special. → It makes other questions easier to answer! I’ll never forget being at Target when my daughter was 3, and she wanted

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

to know if “that man with the big belly is having a baby.” You know what I said? “No, no he is not. Do you know how I know that? Because remember how we talked about how babies grow in a special place called a uterus? Only women have a uterus, so that means only women can have babies.” And that was it! Using the proper name and label satisfied her curiosity, accurately answered her question, showed her I was comfortable talking with her about it, and reminded her of how amazing her own body is! → It ensures that when our kids talk about their bodies, everyone around them will understand. If someone is talking about, or touching your child’s body

inappropriately, you want to know, without a doubt, exactly what’s happening. You want your child to be able to clearly state what happened, in a way that any teacher or friend would understand. Q: I haven’t used these terms with my kids. How do I start now? A: We live in a culture that has yet to normalize proper labeling, so it makes sense that many of us still find it difficult to say words like penis or vagina. But it’s time to start using them with your kids, so they understand the importance and value of their bodies, and so they can talk about their bodies effectively. You don’t need to make a big deal about this change — no need to have a family

Starting to use the word penis with your preteen might be awkward, but your 3-year-old will accept whatever you call it — so take advantage of his development and use the proper terminology now. meeting about how your “wee wee” is now called a “penis.” Just start to integrate the terms in your regular life when you can. When your son is taking a bath, throw him a washcloth and say: “Don’t forget to wash your penis!” When you’re potty training your daughter, just say, “Make sure you wipe your vagina/vulva really well.” (The vulva is the external part of the female genitalia if you want to get technical.) When you notice your son touching himself, ask, “Does your penis itch?” When you change a diaper, say, “We need to clean your vagina/vulva.” Play a game labeling body parts, and include their penis or vagina. Do this every chance you get, consistently, and eventually the language will become the norm in your family. It’s never too late to start this. It’s easier when they’re young, yes, but it’s still important if they’re older. Make small, but consistent, changes and you’ll notice the whole family’s shift in language. Heidi Croatt is a professor and researcher who lives in Maple Grove with her husband and their two young kids. She holds a Ph.D. in family communication and regularly speaks to parenting groups with her program, Beyond Birds and Bees: Communicating Your Values to Raise Sexually Healthy Kids. Follow her on Instagram @beyondbirdsandbees.

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mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Timi Bliss

BOOKSHELF

Where are the Black kids in children’s literature? I

t’s a familiar and challenging question I face when opening a book to read to my 4-year-old granddaughter, Charlie. Where are the books that offer a glimpse into her world, and reflect who she is as a little Black child? Picture books are vessels that provide children an important introduction to the world and play a significant role in informing a child’s sense of identity, self-worth and belonging. They help children relate, associate and connect to the world — and all children need and deserve to be represented in the pages of a book, including Charlie. This is my third go-around facing the continued need for more diverse representation in children’s literature: It was a concern for my mother in my upbringing, a concern of mine with my daughter’s childhood and remains an issue with my granddaughter. Throughout these generations one author’s books that prominently feature Black characters have remained on my bookshelf — the works of Ezra Jack Keats. Although Keats was a white author and illustrator, having a Black central character in a major children’s book was groundbreaking at the time. Ezra Jack Keats’ book The Snowy Day was published in 1962, the year my older sister was born. My mother remembers talk about the book’s publication spreading throughout the Black community of our predominantly Scandinavian south Minneapolis Central neighborhood. It was a big deal to see a little Black boy as a main character in a children’s book, and the Black community was excited. By 1969, the demographics of our neighborhood were changing, and our neighborhood library, Hosmer, responded by opening an African American reading room where my mother would regularly take us to visit. Our community now had a dedicated resource for literature that reflected who we were. It was a big deal. That was 58 years ago, but the more things change, the more they stay the same. Although the lack of diversity in children’s books has become a hot topic and the landscape is improving, learning these following statistics made me sit up and take notice of how dire the situation actually is:

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

In 2019, only 11.9% of children’s books published in the US were about African Americans. But what was more startling for me to discover was only 46.4% of those books were in fact authored and/or illustrated by African Americans. This is according to the data compiled by the Cooperative Children’s Book Center at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, a research library that receives most of the trade books for children published every year in the U.S. by large corporate publishers. The remaining racial stats include: white, 41.8%; animals, 29.2%; Asian/Asian American, 8.7%; Pacific Islanders, .05%; Latinx, 5.3%; and Native/ First Nation, 1%. I’m always keeping an eye out for diverse books to add to Charlie’s library to

help her grow into the best version of herself she can be, just as I did when raising my daughter. Reading has always been important in my family. My Grandpa would say, “If you can read well, you can teach yourself anything.” Well, I took his sage advice and became a children’s picture book author and illustrator — working to be part of the solution to the continued lack of diverse representation in children’s books today. Here are two you can find online and in bookstores, plus a few other suggestions: In Search of the Gingerbread Man: Although she’s just a little girl, Charlie’s big enough to take the lead to track down the runaway gingerbread man who has made a quick getaway from the oven! The book includes a gingerbread cookie recipe created

by Michelle Gayer, the critically acclaimed and award-winning pastry chef, founder of the Salty Tart bakery and five-time nominee for the highest food industry honor, the prestigious James Beard Award. In Search of the Sandman: This is the story of a spirited little girl named Charlie who wants to play all night rather than go to sleep, until Mommy piques her curiosity with the magical tale of the Sandman. More: Other diverse books I recommend include Islandborn by Junot Díaz; The Day You Begin by Jacqueline Woodson; Last Stop on Market Street by Matt de la Peña; and Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story by Kevin Noble Maillard. Timi Bliss is a Minneapolis-based author and illustrator. Learn more about her work at timibliss.com.

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mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Christina Sandok

IN THE KITCHEN

GRANOLA GLORY!

Are you running out of stay-at-home breakfast fodder? These nutrient-packed strawberry breakfast cookies can be eaten whole or broken up into pieces and served with milk, just like homemade granola!

STRAWBERRY BREAKFAST COOKIES INGREDIENTS

1 cup pitted dates (about 5 ounces) 1 large ripe banana, peeled and sliced ¾ cup applesauce ¼ cup coconut oil, melted 1 tablespoon honey 2 cups fresh strawberries, finely chopped 2½ cups rolled oats

Research. Watch. Listen. Learn.

1 cup unsweetened flaked coconut 5 tablespoons chia seeds ½ cup pecans or favorite nut/seed (optional)

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2 teaspoons cinnamon ½ teaspoon sea salt

DIRECTIONS

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Place dates and sliced banana in a food processor and pulse until dates are very finely diced. Stir together date mixture, applesauce, coconut oil and honey until well combined in a large bowl. Add strawberries and gently stir. Whisk together oats, coconut, chia seeds, pecans, cinnamon and salt. Combine the dry mixture and wet mixture and stir well. Form the batter into 2-inch balls, place onto prepared baking sheet and pat down to about ½-inch thickness. Bake for about 30 minutes or until cookie bottoms are golden brown. Remove from oven and allow cookies to cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes. Transfer cookies to a cooling rack to cool completely; they will firm up as they cool. Store any leftovers in an air-tight container in the refrigerator. Christina Sandok is the owner of Prescribe Nutrition, which offers virtual health coaching and online nutrition programs. Learn more at prescribe-nutrition.com. mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Hope Machine Everything isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t okee dokee in America. Local dad Joe Mailander is hoping the latest Okee Dokee Brothers album can be part of the solution. BY SARAH JACKSON

Joe and Ali Mailander explore with their son, Hap, 3, near Minnehaha Creek in Minneapolis. Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

July/August 2020 â&#x20AC;˘ mnparent.com

hen the Okee Dokee Brothers created their fifth album, they didn’t know COVID-19 was coming. And George Floyd wasn’t a household name. And yet many of the songs on their magnificent new double-CD set — Songs for Singin’ — seem fully aware that not everything is okee dokee in America. For the first time ever since winning a Grammy for children’s music in 2013, Joe Mailander and Justin Lansing’s latest album isn’t about an epic outdoor adventure, but rather the humble joys of everyday life, including exploring nature in your neighborhood and making music with friends and family. “You don’t have to go on a hike on the Appalachian Trail to calm your mind down,” Mailander said. “We wanted to write an album that was more universal and spoke to a lot of different types of families — and was more inclusive. So many songs came out when we did that. We wrote 50 songs. We just chose the 27 best tunes.” Drawing on the spirit of American folk legends and activists Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger, The Okee Dokee Brothers’ new work delivers timeless messages of hope and unity with joyful humor, clever turns of phrase and high-energy guitar and banjo riffs. With songs like Afternoon Walk, Early Bird and Church of the Woods, there’s definitely a heavy emphasis on the outdoors. But families will also find some messages about enduring hard times mixed into the bluegrass-driven music. In subtle ways, the songs tackle climate change (In My Bones), racial justice (If You Want a Song), selfcare (Hope Machine) and even the fact that camping really kind of sucks sometimes (Campin’). The very first of the bandmates’ new songs tells the tale of the “hope machine” inside all of us that we can keep healthy by sticking to our daily routines — brush your teeth, do a push up, sing a song: “They say life is hard, and they’re not wrong. Gotta keep that hope machine running strong.” It’s a message that seemed to come at just the right time — when family routines went off the rails during lockdown orders due to COVID-19.

Joe Mailander of The Okee Dokee Brothers plays with his 3-yearold son, Hap, near Minnehaha Creek in Minneapolis. Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

The Okee Dokee Brothers, in fact, released their 2-CD set — which includes an illustrated songbook with guitar chords — nearly two months early to give quarantined families something special to do. As with previous albums from the duo, there are a few songs that hint at the need for social change, including One Little Heart, which could be a protest anthem for kids: I got two eyes, seein’ lives full of hardship; I got two ears, hearin’ folks are down and out; I got one mouth that can speak up for the voiceless; And I got one little heart that just needs to shout.

A TWO-CD SINGALONG The fair-haired Mailander — who lives with his 3-year-old son, Hap, and wife, Ali, not far from Minnehaha Creek and the site of Floyd’s passing — said he was already concerned about racism and the deepening divides in the U.S. well before police

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

brutality took Floyd’s life. Due to the increasingly polarized political climate (gently referenced in The Okee Dokee Brothers’ 2016 song The Great Divide), Lansing and Mailander felt it was time to shift things away from their grand outdoor trips toward simpler neighborhood pleasures. After all, such adventures might be a luxury for some families. “What we’re trying to do is find common ground,” Mailander said. “The more we can get together, the more we realize we have a lot in common — singing together and talking about things that do connect us, rather than the things that divide us. Woody (Guthrie) and Pete (Seeger) were really good at that.” That’s why the two new CDs — one themed Day and the other Night — include songs about creating your own local singalong (Neighborhood Band), putting on a Louisiana-style feast (Jumbo Gumbo) and having playful

Friday-night gatherings (Raise a Ruckus). Numerous songs feature call-andresponse lyrics that make singing along, toe-tapping and hand-clapping almost irresistible for parents, not just kids.

↑ The Okee Dokee Brothers’ new album, Songs for Singin’, features 27 songs, plus an illustrated songbook with guitar chords. Album photo by Nate Ryan Photography / Album cover design by Brandon Reese

YOU DON’T HAVE TO GO ON A HIKE ON THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL TO CALM YOUR MIND DOWN. — Joe Mailander of The Okee Dokee Brothers “Eighty percent of the album is very singable,” Mailander said. “One of our biggest thoughts going into this album was just making sure the choruses and different refrains were catchy enough that people could catch on quickly.” And people have been catching on in droves with families sharing videos of themselves using the song book’s guitar chords to do just what the brothers had suggested: Get together. Play instruments. Sing. You don’t have to be good. Just have fun. One little boy, dressed up in signature plaid like the darker-haired Lansing, put on a sensational and adorable cover version of Hope Machine. (See tinyurl.com/ okee-banjo-boy.) It’s been a dream come true for Mailander, recalling the days when more people were involved in music at home, but also through churches, community dances and other cultural activities. With summer here — but coronavirus keeping many regular activities out of reach (sports, gatherings, festivals) — singing around the campfire in the backyard makes more sense now than it might have pre-pandemic. “Music is for everybody,” Mailander said. “It’s not just for Katy Perry and pop stars that are exceptionally talented. Lots of different types of people can be musicians — not just famous people.” As the new Neighborhood Band tune intones: “Join the chorus. Lend a hand. We’re not great. We’re not grand. Nothing’s proper! And nothing’s planned in the neighborhood band. Oooooh. It’s OK.”

(In the background, a trombone plays the baseline from Let’s Go Band.) Though The Okee Dokee Brothers’ spring and summer concerts were all cancelled — including their Minnesota State Fair grandstand debut set for this year — seeing fans taking their music and running with it has been a silver lining as they’ve watched 60 percent of their band revenue evaporate. “Families who have been staying at home have had time to learn these songs,” said Mailander, who wishes they could have shared their new music with fans on tour. Lansing, who lives in Denver, but who talks to Mailander nearly every day while they work on their next album — and anxiously wait for concerts to start up again — said making music a part of everyday life was another goal. “While we’ve always talked about families singing together, this is the first time we’ve been very explicit about it,” he said. “These songs are for families to play with — change lyrics, melodies, rhymes — and make their own. I think those interactions are so memorable for both children and adults, and they can shape who we become.”

HUMOR, WISDOM AND PARENTING Parents and critics are applauding the brothers’ latest release as a work of art that defies genre. “There is much wisdom, much joy and much authenticity in the music,” said one Amazon reviewer. “I never knew so much philosophy and existentialism could exist in music for kids, but I cannot recommend this album, and all their other albums, enough. Even if you are not interested in all the deep stuff I am reading into the songs, you can still enjoy the music, because it has so many levels of meaning.” Humor — something to counter life’s hardships — was another goal for both the albums, as always, Mailander said. Families won’t have to look far to find lighthearted tunes such as Grandmaderation (about Grandma’s quirks and knack for finding life balance), Sunnyside Up (goofy rhymes) and Let’s Throw a Party (a bluegrass version of scat singing). One new song that may sound like yet another anthem to the outdoors — Language of the Flowers — is actually about something else, Lansing said. “It’s about how an adult has lost the ability to hear what the flowers have to

Before the pandemic, the concept for a neighborhood band was born in Joe Mailander’s Minnehaha Creek neighborhood, where he and anyone who wanted to join would jam without microphones or formalities. Photo courtesy of The Okee Dokee Brothers mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Though they set boundaries as parents, they also stay open to Hap’s ideas, even though it can be a challenge. “He’s closer to a natural rhythm than we are, having been put through what we are as adults in society,” he said. “It’s the times that I don’t push too hard and we go really slow and we kind of breathe and find that Zen — what you’d call the state of flow — that’s when we’re really making memories and letting Hap connect to the outdoors, when we put our agenda on the back burner and really let him take the lead.”

Photo by Tracy Walsh Photography

FACING RACIAL INJUSTICE

say, while a child still seems to understand,” Lansing said. “To me, an important part of our work is recognizing children’s innate wisdom and putting words to that feeling of respect towards a child.” Mailander, as a relatively new parent, said he’s discovered that letting his son sometimes set the pace of an afternoon at home or on a long walk, has helped him and Ali discover a different way of life.

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

WE WANTED TO WRITE AN ALBUM THAT SPOKE TO A LOT OF DIFFERENT TYPES OF FAMILIES — AND WAS MORE INCLUSIVE. — Joe Mailander of The Okee Dokee Brothers

So how did they talk to young Hap about the nearby riots and passing of George Floyd? They simply said: “George Floyd was treated very unfairly by police — and he was hurt. And we stand up for people who get treated unfairly.” They also protested — peacefully. Hap held a Black Lives Matter sign. Before Floyd’s untimely death, Ali had already been participating in a raceconscious parenting group for the past two years. The group met monthly and is now motivated more than ever with plans to hire a black female consultant to help them in their work to become white allies and make future change in their families and communities. “Understanding racism and white privilege are crucial parts of knowing our place in this country as white people — and some of the most important lessons Hap will learn as he grows up,” Ali said. “I’m learning as much as I can to expose him to these topics, however messy that might be, so that he is not learning about them as an adult, as I did.” The Okee Dokee Brothers, meanwhile, have created a list on Spotify of Family Music Artists of Color, featuring Nina Simone, Alphabet Rockers, Taj Mahal, Mavis Staples, Ben E. King and many others. During the George Floyd protests in Minneapolis, a mother asked The Okee

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↑ Two kids from the Twin Cities protested peacefully using lyrics from The Okee Dokee Brothers.

Dokee Brothers if she could use a line from their brand-new ditty, If You Want a Song, for a peaceful protest sign. The Okee Dokee Brothers, of course, said yes. Her sign read: If you want change, you’ve gotta change. Lansing said he felt honored that their words — often regarded as mere “kids music,” versus all-ages music, which is how the duo define themselves — resonated in such a heavy context. “These ideas are not new,” Lansing said. “Change is important if we want to imagine a world where all people are included, because it’s clear that that’s not the case, and never has been. So, while we don’t have any of the big answers, I think this is a small answer.” And what answer is that? “Look at how you walk through the world, and find out where you can be responsible for change in yourself,” he said. “That’s what’s going to change the world.”

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Sarah Jackson is a mother of a son and the outgoing editor of Minnesota Parent magazine. mnparent.com • July/August 2020

BWCAW OR

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Using insider tips — and the scoop on the best gear — you can plan your own family adventure to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness. BY MEGAN DEVINE

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

I went on my first guided canoe trip in the BWCAW through YMCA Camp Warren the summer after my seventh-grade year. I had a lot of fun and also came away from the experience with a strong sense of accomplishment. That trip was the springboard for future summer canoe trip adventures in the Boundary Waters with my friends, continuing through high school, college and beyond. My bachelorette “party” even took the form of a canoe trip! Over the years, I’ve developed the skills and confidence for continued backcountry adventure — yes, even with four kids in tow. I now make Ely, the main western entry point to the BWCAW, my home. My husband and I both feel very fortunate to both live, work and raise a family in this beautiful area.

Photo by Annie Brenney

he Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness is a remarkable destination for adventure seekers of all ages. Known for its rich beauty — a mixture of forests, glacial lakes, rivers and streams — and wildlife, including fish, loons, deer, black bears, beavers, otters, coyotes and wolves, it’s one of the most visited protected wilderness areas in the U.S. Encompassing over 1 million acres, the BWCAW spans the northern third of the Superior National Forest and contains more than 1,200 miles of canoe routes, 12 hiking trails and over 2,000 designated campsites. It offers visitors an opportunity to canoe, portage, camp and hike in secluded, remote areas, while experiencing a unique type of disconnect from the pace of our modern lifestyles. And it’s beautiful — and socially distant.

Is your family up for it?

It’s important to understand that a Boundary Waters canoe trip is a backcountry experience — a true wilderness immersion that requires self-reliance and good judgement. Your proximity and connection to civilization is limited and involves a certain amount of risk, including adverse weather conditions, isolation, physical hazards and limited communications. Excursions into the wilderness, especially with children, require careful planning and preparation for everyone’s safety and comfort. It’s not exactly easy, but it’s certainly possible, and a well-planned trip can provide an experience with so many benefits! If you’re planning your adventure yourself, seek out information in the U.S. Forest Service BWCAW Trip Planning Guide (tinyurl.com/bwcaw-usfs), plus guidebooks from the library or outdoors stores and maps from WA Fisher Maps and McKenzie Maps. Other things to keep in mind: Permits: Overnight access in the BWCAW from May 1 through Sept. 30 requires a pre-reserved permit that determines the dates of your trip and how many people you can have in your group. A pre-trip orientation is required of all overnight visitors and is provided by the USFS or the outfitter. Learn more at tinyurl.com/BWCApermits. Route. Once you have your permit and entry point, you can start envisioning your route. You can have a predetermined route in mind, but it’s important to have some flexibility because campsite availability and weather conditions can vary. When doing a multi-night trip with children, I’ve found it’s easier to establish a base camp with day-trip outings, rather than a more labor-intensive point-to-point route, which requires setting up and taking down camp each day. Navigation: Confidence with backcountry navigation and the use of a map and compass is a must.

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

Photo courtesy of the YMCA of the Greater Twin Cities

Packing. This is one of the most overwhelming aspects of planning any overnight outdoor adventure. You need to have all of the equipment, gear, clothing and food you need and you also must be ready to haul it all on your back over portages between lakes! Here too is where doing your research is important. Check out tinyurl.com/bwcaw-checklist or a trusted guidebook for reference. Guides and gear — for a fee: If taking all this on yourself feels like too much, I would highly recommend seeking out one of the many reputable BWCAW area guides and/or local outfitters. Outfitter services can help with permits, route planning, full or partial gear and food and even guided trips for overnights or half-day outings. Discover some of the outfitters in the area at tinyurl.com/ explore-outfitters.

When to go

Summer is certainly the most popular time to visit the BWCAW with weather conducive to tent and hammock camping and swimming in the lakes. Autumn is one of my favorite times to soak in the beauty of the fall colors from the viewpoint of a canoe. In winter, our family ventures out for a long cross-country ski trip at least once every winter in the BWCAW, where we travel across two frozen lakes to a point

where we share a winter picnic and view ancient pictographs on cliffs near Hegman Lake. Many local outfitters offer a variety of different experiences and adventure opportunities throughout the seasons. Just think of the memories you could make on a winter dogsledding adventure with your family!

What else can we do?

If a BWCAW adventure isn’t your cup of tea, but you want to give your children the opportunity, you can give them the start like I had through a camp or other popular options such as scouting groups or adventure-based organizations like Outward Bound. There are also some excellent alternatives to an actual BWCAW trip that may suit your family well and are still in close proximity to the wilderness. The Superior National Forest maintains 254 backcountry campsites outside of the wilderness that offer remote paddling, camping and fishing — without the need for permits and without fees. See tinyurl.com/canoebeyond to learn more. Megan Devine is an elementary school teacher who lives with her husband and four school-age children in Northeastern Minnesota. Follow her blog — Kids, Lakes, Loons and Pines — at megdevine.com.

Photo courtesy of Megan Devine

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BY MEGAN DEVINE During my many outdoor experiences with my kids, I’ve found the fondest memories are made when everyone’s had a good night of sleep and the right clothing, footwear and gear to protect them from the elements. Though I’m no “glamper,” I’ve learned over the years to invest in high-quality gear. You 10:48 AM typically just need to buy it once and it can last for many years. Here are my top picks for tried-and-true items for your next outdoor adventure with kids:

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KINGDOM 4 TENT (above) Cost: $399 Why it’s great: Sturdy and weather-proof, this REI-brand shelter features a lot of interior pockets and several venting options. It comes with solid tent stakes and packs into a backpack-style bag. It’s an ideal car-camping tent for families. Good to know: It might be a little confusing to pitch at first because, unlike most other tents, it needs to be staked it down before you can insert the poles. Fortunately, this type of design and assembly is what yields a spacious interior. Our family also has REI’s lighter 2 Person Half Dome Tent ($159) and a couple of the Flex-Lite Chairs ($29.95 and up) and a lot of other REI outerwear, including pants, wool socks and shirts. I’ve been impressed with the value of the products and the benefits of the store’s

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

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(optional) membership. Where to buy: REI (Bloomington, Roseville or Maple Grove) or rei.com EUREKA CAMP CAFE Cost: $99 Why it’s great: I spent many years using a coffee percolator on camping trips and survived, but this gem is a game changer, especially if you’re like me, and coffee is an essential fuel for parenting. Good to know: This pour-over set-up makes a great pot of coffee. And because it comes with a FluxRing-style kettle, it also can boil water quickly for tea, hot cocoa, noodles and even backcountry dish washing. Eureka, which also sells camping stoves, grills, tents, furniture, sleeping bags and sleeping pads, offers a 60-day trial for all of its products. Where to buy: eurekacamping.com ENO HAMMOCK Cost: $49.95 and up Why it’s great: Made from high-tenacity nylon or ripstop nylon — which contributes to strength, durability and abrasion resistance — ENO hammocks also have strong carabiners, triple-stitched seams

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and an attached storage sack. Good to know: In the package you get everything you need to hang your hammock, but the additional purchase of the Atlas Suspension System ($29.95) adds strength, security and ease for set up. Where to buy: eaglesnestoutfittersinc.com HYDROFLASK COOLER Cost: $199 Why it’s great: I wasn’t convinced that investing in a high-quality cooler was worth the price until I tried out the Hydroflask 22L Cooler Pack. It kept ice cold close to 48 hours! The cooler is soft sided, but sturdy and leak-proof, and the backpack design makes it handy for parents, who can always use a free hand.

THERMAREST PROLITE Cost: $84.95-$114.95 Why it’s great: This camping mattress is compact and lightweight and selfinflates to about a 1-inch thickness. It has a compressible foam core, and is constructed from quiet, durable and comfortable materials. Good to know: Thermarest offers a range of lightweight mats that are compact for hauling when backpacking on BWCAW trips. Their thicker and cushier mats are bulkier and better suited to car-camping trips. They all seem to last forever. Where to buy: thermarest.com

Good to know: I’ve used this cooler camping, on the lake, on overnights and when I’m shopping at the grocery store. It’s $100 cheaper than the equivalent cooler from its top competing brand. Where to buy: hydroflask.com mnparent.com • July/August 2020

Out & About JULY/AUGUST mnparent.com/calendar

The Bakken Museum ⊲ This science and technology institution is one of the few museums in the Twin Cities that’s currently open to visitors. Masks are mandatory for everyone older than 2 and social distancing is required. When: Ongoing Where: Minneapolis Cost: $5, free for ages 3 and younger; online reservations are required. Info: thebakken.org

THROUGH SEPT. 30

Better Angels Outdoor Art Installation ⊲ Several hundred pinwheels in shades of blue and white — re-engineered to resemble angel wings — have been strung on horizontal steel wires for movement in the wind. Visitors can enter the arched structure, which creates a “cloud tunnel,” to experience the moving wings.

Bell Museum ⊲ In its first stage of reopening, this newly built natural history museum will operate at 25% of its capacity and will require reservations and the use of face masks. When: Starting July 23 with an early opening starting July 16 for members Where: St. Paul Cost: $9-$12, free for ages 2 and younger; registration is required. Info: bellmuseum.umn.edu

ONGOING

Marjorie McNeely Conservatory ⊲ While the Como Zoo remains closed, this nearby haven of plant life is open as a one-way walking path beginning at the Japanese Garden gate. Reservations are required and face masks are mandatory. When: Ongoing Where: Como Park, St. Paul Cost: FREE; online reservations are required. Info: comozooconservatory.org

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com

Minnesota Landscape Arboretum ⊲ Walking access has reopened on designated areas of the arboretum’s grounds. Visitors are asked to respect social distancing, and masks are encouraged, but not required. When: Ongoing Where: Chaska Cost: $15, free for age 15 and younger; online reservations are required. Info: arb.umn.edu

When: Ongoing Where: Landmark Plaza, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: landmarkcenter.org

JULY 16

Art and Anecdotes: Terrific Transportation ⊲ Online, preschoolers can examine works of art from the American Swedish Institute’s collection through music, movement, interactive discussion and collaborative storytelling. When: July 16 Where: Zoom Cost: FREE. Space is limited to 10 participants per session and registration is required. Info: asimn.org/calendar

JULY 24-25, AUG. 26, 28-29

Heavy Metal Drive Thru

⊲ This demonstration of large construction equipment at work features one hour of action for little gearheads. Attendees must remain in their vehicles at all times.

When: July 24-25; Aug. 26, 28-29 Where: Extreme Sandbox, Hastings Cost: $125-$50 per car for reserved parking spots; general admission is FREE; online reservations are required. Info: extremesandbox.com

AUG. 1-2

Disney’s The Little Mermaid Jr. ⊲ SteppingStone Theatre’s teen cast presents a socially distanced outdoor performance for ages 3 and older.

Minnesota Children’s Museum

When: Starting Aug. 1 Where: St. Paul Cost: $14.95; reservations are required. Info: mcm.org

Swedish Dads ⊲ Through this photography series, Swedish photographer Johan Bävman examines why these fathers opted to stay at home and how the relationships with their kids and their partners changed as a result.

When: Aug. 1-2 Where: 7th Street Plaza, St. Paul Cost: $10 Info: steppingstonetheatre.org

AUG. 1

⊲ The area’s most popular attraction for kids will reopen with many new safety measures. As with most reopened organizations, prior registration is required to keep crowds small.

West St. Paul Cost: FREE, but donations are appreciated. Please RSVP. Info: dodgenaturecenter.org

AUG. 15

Where: Online at aismn.org; later this summer, portraits will hang outside the museum along the historic fence on Park Avenue. When: Through Oct. 4 Cost: FREE Info: aismn.org

Mixed Precipitation’s Picnic Operetta ⊲ Bring a blanket or lawn chair for this outdoor musical suitable for all ages. All buildings will be closed. When: 7-8:30 p.m. Aug. 15 Where: Dodge Nature Center,

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FROM OUR READERS

Bookworms What can you do — stuck at home for months’ on end — in the midst of a pandemic? Read, of course! Congrats to the 15 families who won our #freebooks giveaway on Facebook by submitting photos like these! Stay tuned for more great stuff on all our social media feeds.

↑ Grace, 2, of Waconia

↑ Alana, 2, of Burnsville

↑ Phoebe, 10 months, of Shakopee

↑ Anna, 3, of Blaine

↑ Titus, 2, and newborn Cyrus, of Minneapolis

↑ Thomas, 7, Sarah, 10, and William, 3, of West St. Paul

↑ Winifred, 1, of Coon Rapids

↑ Sophie, 8, Cherish, 1, Daisy, 6, and Rose, 5, of Brooklyn Park

Want to see your kid on this page? Send photos with your child’s first name, age and city to editor@mnparent.com.

July/August 2020 • mnparent.com