September 2018 by Minnesota Parent

September 2018

MOM & BABY RESOURCES Page 50

Life with multiples Page 14

The IUD is back! Page 40

Affording adoption Page 32

Soren, 2 weeks old, of Mounds View

At Broders’ Pasta Bar, we’re about much more than great pasta …

hat’s why we’ve partnered with two very special organizations doing amazing things for people with Down syndrome and their families—Jack’s Basket and the Down Syndrome Association of Minnesota.

Broders’ Pasta Bar donates 10% of all proceeds from our children’s menu—“Kit’s Menu”—to these incredible organizations. Kit’s Menu features pared-down versions of some of our most delicious and kid-friendly pasta dishes.

Kathleen ‘Kit’ Broder, first grandchild of the Broder family, is an avid pasta eater and Italian food enthusiast! Kit was also born with Down syndrome. It’s our goal to celebrate Kit and all children in the Down syndrome community.

612.925.9202 | broderspastabar.com 5000 Penn Ave S / Minneapolis, MN 55419

A T I N G

BASKET

It is the mission of the Down Syndrome Association of Minnesota to empower individuals and families, to create community and celebrate the abilities of people with Down syndrome.

2 0 1 4

E S T .

W N

S Y

Jack’s Basket has a mission to celebrate babies born with Down syndrome. They strive to ensure that every new and expectant parent is provided resources and avenues of support within the community, while aiming to educate medical providers on how to discuss the diagnosis in an unbiased way.

SEPTEMBER

VOLUME 33 /// ISSUE 9

Finding a way Two Minnesota families are working to help make adoption more affordable.

NICU gem A new app helps families with preemies navigate the long journey home from the hospital.

The IUD is back More than ever, moms — and non-moms, too! — are choosing little T-shaped devices to prevent pregnancy.

ALSO INSIDE 6

September 2018 • mnparent.com

& Baby 50 Mom L ISTIN G S

About our cover kid Name: Soren City: Mounds View Age in photos: 2 weeks old Parents: Sama and Christina Sandy Sibling: Amelia, 4 (pictured above) At birth: 9 pounds, 22.5 inches Place of birth: St. John’s Hospital, Maplewood Personality so far: Pretty chill, observant, starting to smile Photos by Molly Shields Photography mollyshieldsphotography.com mnparent.com • September 2018

SEPTEMBER 20 WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM

10 FROM THE EDITOR

Welcome aboard

Good reads

You can’t not get your world rocked by parenthood.

New to this? Let go of your parenting daydreams.

A local Nana shares her top picks for newborns.

12 CHATTER

22 ASK THE PEDIATRICIAN

58 FROM OUR READERS

This device catches milk that might otherwise be wasted.

What’s involved in all those tests done right after birth?

Just look at these kids — all born early — thriving!

14 BUMP, BIRTH AND BABY

24 ON BEHAVIOR

Life with multiples means facing a ‘new not normal.’

If your kid is struggling, practice compassion — with yourself.

16 THE UNCENSORED TODDLER

26 NANA & MAMA

By entering the battle at all, you’ve already lost.

You can gracefully decline unwanted input. Here’s how.

18 SCHOOL DAYS

28 IN THE KITCHEN

Yes, gender differences matter. And I’m not being sexist.

Check out this fresh new spin on the classic Caprese salad.

Mirror, mirror

Heel prick

Pumped up

A way through

Doubling down

Picky eater?

Moms We Specialize in Them

Helping Parents Create a Healthy Foundation for a Healthy Family Moms Emotional Coping Skills Group Miscarriage Support Group Couples Counseling & Parenting Work-Life Balance Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

7 Metro Locations

612.296.3800 phawellness.com

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Postpartum Counseling Center MNP 118 V6.indd 2

Grandparents!

Just peachy

#boymom

30 BOOKSHELF

12/7/17 4:01 PM

Preemie pride

& About 52 Out CA L E N DA R

FROM THE EDITOR mnparent.com

PUBLISHER Janis Hall jhall@mnparent.com SALES MANAGER AND CO-PUBLISHER Terry Gahan tgahan@mnparent.com GENERAL MANAGER Zoe Gahan zgahan@mnparent.com EDITOR Sarah Jackson editor@mnparent.com CONTRIBUTORS Dr. Sheldon Berkowitz, Rachel Brougham Abbie Burgess, Traci Buse, Chad Cartier Megan Devine, Katie Dohman, Ed Dykhuizen Laura Groenjes Mitchell, Shannon Keough Mary Rose Remington, Karen Ritz Molly Shields, Jen Wittes CREATIVE DIRECTOR Valerie Moe vmoe@mnparent.com SENIOR GRAPHIC DESIGNER Micah Edel GRAPHIC DESIGNER Kaitlin Ungs CLIENT SERVICES Delaney Patterson 612-436-5070 • dpatterson@mnparent.com CIRCULATION Marlo Johnson 612-436-4388 • distribution@mnparent.com ADVERTISING 612-436-4360 • sales@mnparent.com 45,000 copies of Minnesota Parent are printed monthly, available at 1,100 locations: mnparent.com/racks Go to mnparent.com/subscribe to get this magazine mailed to your home for $18 a year.

Minnesota Parent (ISSN 0740 3437) is published monthly by Minnesota Premier Publications. POSTMASTER send address changes to: MINNESOTA PARENT, 1115 Hennepin Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55403. Minnesota Parent is copyright 2018 by Minnesota Premier Publications. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without written permission is prohibited. Address all material to address above.

Welcome, Parents! W

hen I was first married — undoubtedly talking about how stressful and busy my childless life was — all the seasoned parents around me would say, seemingly constantly: “Just wait ’til you have kids!” How utterly smug they seemed. It felt downright insulting, like they were saying: Honey, you have no idea. (I almost wanted to not have kids, just to show them.) But oh were they right. Parenthood is just one of those things you can’t know until you’ve tried it. In this month’s magazine — our annual Baby Issue — our World’s Okayest Mom columnist, Photo by Tracy Walsh / tracywalshphoto.com Katie Dohman, explains it far better than I ever could: “I used to get SO angry when people would say that I couldn’t know the love of a child until I became a parent. What a jerk thing to say — like I don’t understand love or have meaning in my life?” she writes. “I realize now: OF COURSE you can know love and experience profound meaning without having children. It’s just that you can’t know the very specific emotional swings, the devotion or the pressures, until you’re squarely in the middle of it with your own specific tiny tyrant(s). That’s terrifying. It’s also what I’ve come to think might be the world’s greatest honor with some of life’s very best rewards.” Yes, THAT. I recently heard this same feeling captured most beautifully in Brandi Carlile’s heartbreaking single The Mother. (You can watch her sing it directly to her daughter, Evangeline, on YouTube.) It opens like this: Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind You’re tethered to another and you’re worried all the time You always knew the melody, but you never heard it rhyme. If you’re new to this whole parenting thing, get ready: Your babies (if you listen) will teach you things — about yourself — that you never asked to learn. As Dohman puts it: “Kids have an incredible ability to hold a magnification mirror up to you — the kind that allows you to see your pores, translucent stray eyebrows and dust motes — but it’s the kind that examines your parenting work instead,” she writes, adding: “I give you permission to like what you see.” Wait ’til you have kids. You’ll know exactly what she means.

Sarah Jackson, Editor

September 2018 • mnparent.com

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CHATTER

Meal boosters! Looking for a jolt of motivation in the dinner department? Check out these two newcomers to the semi-homemade scene.

Mostly Made A busy Minnetonka mama came up with a great idea while delivering meals to her sister while she was undergoing treatment for breast cancer: Rather than making entire freezer meals ahead (which took up a ton of freezer space), she started making just the fillings. It was a hit! So Jillian McGary decided to run with the idea and hosted a hugely successful Kickstarter campaign in 2017. Today McGary is selling those tasty frozen fillings — made in a local USDA-certified kitchen in Minneapolis — on Amazon.com, at Mostly-Made.com and in Twin Cities groceries stores. Each pouch is 22 ounces and costs $12.99. The lasagna filling — Italian sausage browned with crushed tomatoes, basil and savory veggies — serves four to six when added to recipes for calzones, stuffed peppers or lasagna. The enchilada filling — chicken and black beans braised in tomatoes, smoky chipotle and savory Southwest veggies — serves four to five when rolled into tortillas, baked into stuffed peppers or served over nachos or baked potatoes.

Local Crate This new home meal service (currently available in Minnesota, Illinois and California) delivers fresh, as-local-aspossible, pre-portioned ingredients for recipes by local chefs. The minimum order is two meals (four servings) per week at a cost of $54. At that price ($13.50 per serving) — and for the gourmet quality — we like these meals for in-house date nights with your significant other (and friends). But if your budget allows — and if your kids might enjoy, for example, Bahn Mi Pork Panzanella (with pork from Elgin, Minnesota, and barrel-aged sriracha from St. Paul) — go nuts. Wanna sample first? Look for Local Crates at select Target stores and participating co-ops ($16.99–$19.99 per kit), including a crate featuring a Spanish steak skewer recipe by local Octo Fish Bar chef Tim McKee. Learn more at localcrate.com

September 2018 • mnparent.com

A magic pump The Haakaa — a one-piece silicone breast pump ($17.99) — has become THE next big thing in on-the-go nursing, and for good reason. The pump — known as a “passive” pump because it requires no motor or even manual pumping — relies on the mother’s natural letdown reflex, making it an ideal device for relieving pressure when you’re away from Baby. It can also be used as a companion during nursing: While your child is feeding, you can use it to collect all the letdown milk from the other side (which would otherwise be lost into a breast pad). You simply place the top of the pump over your breast — making sure your nipple is in the neck of the pump (and comfortable) — and then apply suction. Adjust as needed; then squeeze the base of the pump to start the flow of milk. Once milk begins to flow, you simply leave the pump alone to do its thing. Haakaa, alas, can’t stand in for moms who are exclusively pumping. But our tester mama, who discovered this for Baby No. 2, called this invention “magic” and “a godsend.” Many moms recommend the whimsical flower stopper (sold separately) to prevent spills. Read reviews and tips at amazon.com and target.com.

mnparent.com • September 2018

Jen Wittes

BUMP, BIRTH AND BABY

More than one newborn! W

hen we talk about that “new normal” in the realm of becoming parents, I think it’s fair to refer to becoming parents of multiples as the “new not normal.” Now, that’s not to say that you, producer of much loin fruit, are a freak. It’s to say that you’re expected to do superhuman things, from the moment you’re expecting. It’s a lot. More than one baby is a lot. Here are my best tips for living through — and loving — multiple newborns, curated from parents of multiples.

Feed on demand AND on a schedule. The first baby to wake up hungry should be fed on demand. Then, even if the other one is asleep, feed (and burp) that baby right after the first. Keep going if you have three or more! You’ll be sorry if you wait for natural hunger cues from multiple babies. (Another option is tandem feeding.) Parents of singletons feel like they’re feeding Baby all the time. You, superhuman multiple parent, really WILL be feeding babies (almost) all of the time. Imagine what that looks like when they wake up — and feed — out of sync.

Get smart. Do what you can to be as organized as possible in your new life. If pumping,

pump after a feed. If you’re formula feeding, make a pitcher of formula. If washing bottles, go assembly-line style and get it done. Opt for grocery delivery, with a saved list of staples. Laundry only when there’s a full load or better yet, two, or — let’s be honest — three. Get all the apps that help with sleep-timing, feed-timing and burping-wizarding. These will help you feel in control and in the know, rather

BABY STUFF

than feeling like you’ve lost your mind and/or have forgotten to feed a child.

Take shifts. The phrase “touched out” — used to describe all mamas of newborns who are pinned under a baby for too long — is magnified for parents of multiples. Dividing and conquering (one parent per baby) is all well and good, but I’ve seen miracles

Convertible stroller

With the touch of a button, the Doona stroller turns into a car seat, ready to go into a stay-put base (included) for your automobile, thanks to its built-in stowable wheels. It’s also aircraft approved so you can literally wheel Baby onto the plane, collapse the wheels and strap Baby in for a safe ride (which is definitely safer than your lap). It’s designed for babies from 4 to 35 pounds (and 32 inches tall). $499.99 • doonausa.com

September 2018 • mnparent.com

happen when caregivers take on all the babies so their partners can sleep in shifts. One parent takes a four-hour shift with all of the babies so that his or her partner can get uninterrupted sleep. Then you swap. This is your best chance at actually recharging, at least in the beginning.

Sleep the babies together. Chances are, your babies will sleep better together in close quarters, either in side-by-side cribs if not in the very same crib, at least in the very beginning. If they sleep better, you sleep better. Sharing a womb is a powerful thing. A multiple is likely to find more comfort and familiarity with a sibling than with Mom’s voice or heartbeat, or Dad’s smell.

Plan for — and accept — help. This may seem like a cliché, but all new parents, parents of newborn multiples in particular, need to have help at the ready. Make a special list — with addresses and phone numbers — of food helpers, baby helpers, pet helpers, in-case-of-emergency contacts and emotional-health supporters, plus your favorite take-out spots. Hire a gardener or basic lawn service, if only temporarily. Lean on a night nanny, a doula, that awkward teenager down the street. Ask the mailman to hold a baby for a few minutes. With whatever resources, get help, in whatever shape it comes. Ask for it; accept it; prepare for it in advance. Most of all, be real. As a dad of triplets once told me, “There’s so many of them, it’s kind of hard to enjoy it.” Let yourself find them adorable, sure. But also let yourself think that it sucks. And then let yourself feel and think both of those things at once. Let the house be messy, let the midnight diaper go unchanged and let your heart grow big enough for more than one baby. It will.

SharePoint Credit Union MNP 0918 S3.indd 1

EXERCISE PREGNANCY STUDY The University of Minnesota is seeking women who are currently less than 20 weeks pregnant to participate in a research study examining the effect of exercise and wellness on mood following childbirth.

8/14/18 10:19 AM

ESTUDIO SOBRE EL EJERCICIO DURANTE EL EMBARAZO La Universidad de Minnesota está buscando mujeres con menos de 20 semanas de embarazo para participar en el estudio de investigación que examina los efectos del ejercicio y la salud del estado de ánimo posterior al parto

• Program delivered to you via the mail and phone

• Programa ejecutado vía correo o teléfono

• Must be 18 years of age or older

• Debe ser mayor o igual a 18 años de edad

• Must not currently exercise regularly

• No debe hacer ejercicio regularmente

• Must not take antidepressants

• No debe tomar antidepresivos

• You will receive $100 & a FitBit for your time (you will be allowed to keep the FitBit after the study is over)

• Usted recibirá $100 y un FitBit por su tiempo (será permitido quedarse con el FitBit después de la culminación del estudio)

• Program can be delivered in English or Spanish

• Debe considerarse de bajos ingresos, lo cual se define como:

• Must be considered low-income, defined as: - Enrollment in any government assisted program (e.g., WIC, SNAP) AND/OR - Annual income that is considered low (less than $45,510 for a family of four, less than $30,044 for a family of two, and less than $22,311 if single). English: Call or TEXT to 612-345-0325 or mompro@umn.edu to see if you qualify for this research study.

- Inscripta en cualquier programa asistencial del gobierno (por ejemplo, WIC, SNAP) Y/O - Ingresos anuales considerados como bajos (menos de $ 45,510 para una familia de cuatro, menos de $ 30,044 para una familia de dos y menos de $ 22,311 si es soltera). Español: Llamada o TEXTO 612-237-1004 o mompro@umn.edu para ver si califica para éste estudio.

Jen Wittes is a marketing director, writer, certified postpartum doula and mom of two living in St. Paul. U of M - Kinesiology Dept MNP 0318 S3.indd 2

2/14/18 11:13 AM

mnparent.com • September 2018

Shannon Keough

THE UNCENSORED TODDLER

Eat it or wear it? In fact, by entering the battle at all, you have already lost. Parenting a toddler presents us with a daily reminder that, despite our greatest efforts, we can never really control another person. In fact, the harder we try to control someone else’s behavior, the more that person will rebel.

Rebellion as default

here’s a memorable scene from Judy Blume’s Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing involving a parent-toddler showdown at the dinner table. In it, we’re presented with a classic toddler situation — Fudge Hatcher, age 2½, doesn’t want to eat his cereal. His parents beg and plead; Fudge continues to refuse. Finally, Fudge’s dad gets mad. “Fudge, you will eat that cereal or you will wear it!” he declares. And then he drags Fudge into the bathroom and dumps the cereal over his head. This scene seems to exemplify a common power struggle between parents and children during the toddler years. You, the parent, want your child to do something. Your child, the toddler, doesn’t want to do it. How will you prevail? The answer: You will not prevail.

September 2018 • mnparent.com

I’m reminded of a time I was visiting a friend’s house with my kids in tow. Felix, 3, immediately found a cherry tomato plant and began jubilantly plucking off the little fruits. Of course, ransacking the poor plant was not enough. He proceeded to caper out the back door with his stolen goods, flinging them hither and yon. I quickly followed him. “Felix!” I yelled, trying to sound authoritative. “Stop that right now!” Momentarily contrite, Felix lowered his chin to his chest, pouted cartoonishly and marched over to the fence, his back towards me. I went over to him. “It’s all my fault!” he announced in his tiny, sad voice. I sat down with him for a few minutes and we talked about how he can’t just go around picking tomatoes and throwing them all over the place. He nodded solemnly. I thought we had an understanding. Minutes later, I caught him with another handful of forbidden fruit. He grinned at me. Then he made a move like he was going throw one. “What are you doing, Felix?” I said, like a parent. “Don’t you dare throw those tomatoes!” Felix stared me down; with his sinister smile, he suddenly bore a striking resem-

blance to Alex from A Clockwork Orange. Then he took the handful of tomatoes and shoved them all into his mouth at once, chewing slowly and looking quite pleased with himself.

Two to tango The aforementioned “eat it or wear it scene” is etched in my memory for eternity. But I couldn’t remember the context — what led up to the cereal over the head? I consulted the book for details. It turns out that the comic-traumatic climax was the result of a pattern of indulgent parenting. One day, Fudge stops eating. After a couple days of this, his mother starts to worry. She asks her older son, Peter, to do headstands to help make Fudge eat. As Peter explains, “When Fudge saw me upside down he clapped his hands and laughed. When he laughs, he opens his mouth. That’s when my mother stuffed some baked potatoes into it.” Soon, however, Peter refuses to take part in the headstand scheme any longer. “Oh, he’ll eat when he gets hungry. Why don’t you just leave him alone!?” Peter suggests, quite reasonably. His mother, however, doesn’t leave him alone. Her attempts to manipulate Fudge into eating include letting him eat under the dinner table, like a dog. And when even this doesn’t do the job, Fudge gets punished with the cereal over the head.

What should we do then? Is there any way to avoid these sorts of power struggles over food with children — even with toddlers, the most notoriously picky eaters of all?

TODDLER STUFF

Tablet trainer

Is the CTA Digital 2-in-1 iPotty with Activity Seat for iPad pure genius or just wrong? That depends on your perspective. Made for ages 18 months and older and up to 43 pounds, iPotty includes a removable bowl, seat, splashguard and cover — and a built-in clear protector for a tablet touchscreen. Downside: For your child to sit on the potty, you need to take the stand off between uses, or your child needs to be undressed from the waist down. $39.99 • bedbathandbeyond.com

Yes, according to Ellyn Satter, author of the definitive how-to-feed-your-childsuccessfully book, Child of Mine. She advocates the “division of responsibility” in feeding: “You take leadership with the what, when and where of feeding, and let your child determine how much and whether to eat what you provide.” (I will explore this approach in more detail in a future column.) Meanwhile, Satter echoes Peter, Fudge’s older brother, when she advises the reader do what “works” if you want your children to eat fruits and vegetables. “What works is minding your own business,” writes Satter. “Eat and enjoy your own vegetables. Your child assumes, ‘Someday, I will eat them, too.’” Shannon Keough lives in St. Paul with her husband and two children. Send questions or comments to skeough@mnparent.com. Tracy Walsh Photography MNP 0918 2-3.indd 1

8/14/18 10:24 AM

mnparent.com • September 2018

#boymom W

hen I was pregnant with my first child, I remember a colleague approaching me and saying she thought I was going to be a “boy mom.” My husband and I didn’t know what we were having, and I didn’t have any real strong intuition that the child I was carrying was a boy or a girl. Truthfully, at that time, I had a hard time adjusting to the reality that I was going to be a parent!

My baby girl We proceeded to register for genderneutral baby items and do whatever mental and physical preparation we could in anticipation of the arrival of our first child. Then, on the big day, we were blessed with a baby girl. I fell in love with her right away; and, at the same time, I fell in love with the wonder and joy of motherhood. My husband and I didn’t go into our relationship planning on a large family. But, as it played out, our little girl ended up with three brothers. Our household is currently dominated by testosterone, especially when you factor into the mix my husband and our 100-pound male German shepherd.

Life with three boys I feel I have fulfilled that prophesy of being a “boy mom.”

Raising three boys alongside a spirited and independent daughter is proving to be an experience that keeps me on my toes. Our three boys are each very different. They have three distinct personalities and unique interests and talents. However, they have several notable similarities that unite them in their juvenile masculinity: • Physicality. We haven’t had any broken bones yet, but we certainly have our fair share of mishaps that have resulted in bumps, bruises, black eyes and/or stitches. My boys wrestle everywhere, including — but

SCHOOL-AGE STUFF

Jigsaw puzzle

We love this line of Little Feminist products, including board books, playing cards and, perhaps best of all, a 500-piece puzzle featuring illustrated portraits of real women who have made history. $14 • kiddywampus.com

not limited to — in our house, in the dirt and in our vehicle. I can say for sure that our boys are certainly more physical in nature than our daughter. • Potty language. They entertain each other with words like toot, butt, fart, nut and poop. • Clothing is overrated. My boys are content being half-clothed 90 percent of the time they’re in our home. • They scatter stuﬀ. Their socks, LEGOs and Nerf darts are sprinkled all around our house like salt and pepper. • They’re action-oriented. They gravitate toward toys with wheels or other things involving movement and action, such as playing baseball or streaming videos of Dude Perfect. It seems I need to give them almost daily reminders not to play games

involving throwing or bouncing balls in my living room. • Toileting. All three are still working toward 100 percent mastery with their aim.

Not sexist Our daughter has never been what you would call a “girly girl.” She never played with dolls and rarely preferred a dress to a pair of pants. In fact, she currently holds the record (11!) for the amount of stitches incurred in the ER! (These happened as result of a misstep while playing football in the yard with one of her brothers.) But she’s our girl and parenting her is very different than parenting our boys. Some may think it sexist to generalize differences of boys and girls, but I’ve learned there’s validating research and truth to some of these stereotypes. In the book, Why Gender Matters: What Parents and Teachers Need to Know about

the Emerging Science of Sex Differences, author Dr. Leonard Sax highlights notable differences between boys and girls, including how they perceive the world differently, how they learn differently, how they process emotions and how they take risks differently. The revised and updated edition (2017) includes new findings about how boys and girls interact differently with social media and video games; a new discussion of research on gendernon-conforming and LGBT kids; new findings about how girls and boys see differently, hear differently and even smell differently; and new material about the medicalization of misbehavior. Reading this book was thought-provoking and gave me — as a parent and an educator — a different perspective, approach and understanding of development. As a mother to three boys and one daughter, I’m both challenged and entertained daily. I’m beyond grateful for

This classic guide features more than 70 percent new material in its latest edition (2017).

the opportunity to parent them. Whatever the gender, dynamics or mix of siblings you have in your family, I encourage you to embrace it. Work through the challenges and look for delight in the lovely mess of parenthood. Megan Devine is an elementary school teacher who lives with her husband and four children in Northeastern Minnesota. She blogs at kidsandeggs.com.

mnparent.com • September 2018

Katie Dohman

WORLD’S OKAYEST MOM

You have my permission You can be secure in knowing that small humans, like grown ones, are messy, flawed creatures who are nonetheless capable of great love, resilience and delight.

You are enough. You’re destined to be this child’s parent. Remember when you got the infuriating response of “Because I’m the parent,” or some variant thereof? The deal is that — when you become a parent — you deserve some benefits. The Because Clause is way near the top of the list. With this phrase internalized, you can politely tell naysayers or armchair advice givers to politely shove off — and to let your children know, as they get older, you’re still the CEP (Chief Executive Parent).

Allow for the possibility.

wish we could power the world with unasked-for advice. Think about it — totally renewable, takes up space only in the air (though it does sometimes demolish the psyche) and it’s endless! Someone get me a Nobel, I’ve finally found a use for the stuff. And the advice never comes faster or as furiously as when people discover you’re growing — or raising — a human. Full disclosure: I’ve done this. (Sorry, to any and all.) Hopefully not as egregiously as the woman who tracked me through a Trader Joe’s once, insisting my baby was too young to ACTUALLY be smiling already (she wasn’t, and she was) and to never invite my baby into my bed (already there, but thanks). Etc., etc. etc. I was just there to get cookie butter,

September 2018 • mnparent.com

and instead I took home a pound of shame about how I was screwing my baby girl up at just 6 weeks old. Now I’m gonna do it again. In print. Well, this isn’t so much advice as it is permission:

Obliterate expectations. First, one of the best pieces of advice I got before I became a mother: Whatever you think parenthood will be, that is not it. True. Liberate yourself of Instagrammy parenting daydreams. It’s not that you won’t have those beautiful moments; it’s that you’ll need to make room to appreciate the intense joy and pride — and to give yourself grace when you meet the other end of the spectrum.

Get informed, but try not to decide how you feel about anything in advance — breast vs. formula, co-sleeping vs. cribsleeping, public vs. private, working vs. staying home. After hearing almost nothing but horror stories when I was pregnant for the first time, I was like, Whoa, so I’m going to probably hate this whole thing? Allow for any and all things, including … loving being a parent! I believe this push for hardline philosophy-following is partly what’s behind mothers blaming themselves for everything and calling themselves failures — when they’re anything but — or feeling secretly guilty or jealous. I’ve watched incredible mothers unfairly and endlessly beat themselves up when they come up against their own or other’s misguided expectations.

MOM STUFF

Kid nail clippers

Nix the nippers and use the finer, nuanced blades of cuticle scissors for trimming kids’ nails. See better and cut more accurately. No boo-boos, owies or bandages, just salon-worthy mani/pedis. — Katie Dohman $6.29 • amazon.com

Be good to you. Parent with the flow. Because here’s the honest truth: You won’t know ’til you get there — no matter how much kid experience you have or how much research you do. (FYI: Babies don’t read those books.) That’s really hard to accept. I say this with all kindness and empathy: Welcome to the trenches.

Feel the love. I used to get SO angry when people would say that I couldn’t know true love, the love

New Horizon Academy MNP 0918 H2.indd 1

of a child, until I became a parent. What a jerk thing to say — like I don’t understand love or have meaning in my life? I realize now: OF COURSE you can know love and experience profound meaning without having children. It’s just that you can’t know the very specific emotional swings, the devotion or the pressures, until you’re squarely in the middle of it with your own specific tiny tyrant(s). That’s terrifying. It’s also what I’ve come to think might be the world’s greatest honor with some

of life’s very best rewards. Kids have an incredible ability to hold up a magnification mirror up to you — the kind that allows you to see your pores, translucent stray eyebrows and dust motes — but it’s the kind that examines your parenting work instead. I give you permission to like what you see. Katie Dohman lives in West St. Paul with her three kids, two dogs and one husband (and now a cat). She loves them a lot, and loves her espresso machine ALMOST as much.

8/6/18 2:04 PM

mnparent.com • September 2018

Dr. Sheldon Berkowitz

Newborn testing 101 Q What exactly is a newborn screening? A Newborn screening in Minnesota consists of three simple tests: • Blood-spot screening, which checks for more than 50 rare, but treatable disorders; • Hearing screening, which checks for hearing loss; • Heart screening, which checks for critical congenital heart disease. Q Why is it important? A Newborn screenings help identify possible health problems that can’t be found by a physical exam or medical history. If your baby is found to have one of these conditions, interventions and treatments are available. For example, some children with a blood-spot disorder are treated with a special diet or medications. Children with hearing loss can benefit from seeing an audiologist to determine communication options that best fit their families. Finally, children with heart defects can have surgery or other medical interventions before going home. Q When does it happen? A Ideally, newborn screenings happen between 24 and 48 hours after a baby is born. Q Where does it happen? A Newborn screenings happen at the birth hospital or out-of-hospital birth site. Because of the equipment needed to perform the screening, your baby may be brought to a different room. You can request to go with your baby to watch as the tests are performed.

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Q Do I need to ask for it? A No, you don’t need to ask for a newborn screening. They are provided routinely as part of a normal standard of care. Q How is it done? A Blood-spot screening consists of a heel prick. A few drops of blood from your baby’s heel are collected on filter paper and sent to the Newborn Screening Program. Hearing screening uses a small device that plays soft sounds and measures your baby’s response to those sounds. Heart screenings use sensors placed on your baby’s hand and foot to measure the amount of oxygen in the blood.

takes a few days. If your baby has an abnormal (positive or borderline) result, Newborn Screening Program staff will contact your baby’s doctor as soon as possible. Your baby’s doctor will then contact you to discuss next steps. Some results don’t require medical attention, but are important for you to know about, so the Newborn Screening Program will mail them to you directly. Don’t assume that no news is good news: Ask your baby’s doctor about your baby’s screening results at the first well-child visit. If your baby’s doctor doesn’t have the results yet, he or she can call the Newborn Screening Program. Q If my baby has an abnormal result, does that mean my baby has that condition? A Not necessarily. Newborn screenings cast a wide net because we don’t want a child who has one of these conditions to be missed. Any abnormal screening result needs to be followed up with additional testing to determine if your baby has that specific condition.

Q There’s no history of these conditions in my family. Does my baby still need a screening? A Yes, most of the children found to have one of the conditions screened for are born to families with no previous family history.

Q How are screening costs covered? A The cost of screening is typically included with birthing and nursery charges, which are usually covered by health insurance. If you’re planning an out-of-hospital birth, a newborn screening might not be covered by insurance. It’s important to talk with your out-of-hospital birth provider about screening costs.

Q How will I get the results? A The person performing the hearing and heart screenings will give you the results the same day. The blood-spot screening

Dr. Sheldon Berkowitz is a pediatrician in the General Pediatrics Clinic at Children’s Minnesota in Minneapolis. He’s been in practice for more than 30 years and is the president-elect of the Minnesota Chapter of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Chad Cartier

ON BEHAVIOR

Why is my child struggling? W

hat parent or guardian, at some point, hasn’t doubted his or her ability to parent well? Add a family crisis or a child’s behavioral health challenges, and that doubt can morph into debilitating shame. Worse yet, is fear of seeking help. As a licensed professional clinic counselor who works with children and teens, I often encounter family members who avoid talk therapy. Parents tell me they blame themselves for their child’s behavioral health struggles. Kids blame their parents — or themselves. Some parents and teens are too terrified to even set foot in my office. Here’s how to move forward.

Compassion is crucial. Parenting is challenging, and fluctuating social expectations regarding nutrition, safety and managing technology don’t necessarily help. I want parents to remember they’re not alone in their struggle. I tell them, “Welcome to the club of imperfect parenting and imperfect families. There’s universal membership.” What matters most is being aware of this human imperfection. Treat yourself, your children and your spouse/partner with honesty and compassion. The fact is, most of the parents and kids I encounter are doing the best they can. When emotional or behavioral health issues cause upheaval, I invite families to shift their focus. Shaming, avoidance and assigning blame get you nowhere. What a child or teen needs most during a mental health crisis is a supportive, cooperative and compassionate family.

September 2018 • mnparent.com

How did we get here? During my first meeting with a family, I’m often asked to explain why a child or adolescent is struggling so much. Sometimes there are obvious triggers, such as the death of a loved one or bullying at school. More times than not, however, it’s hard to give a definitive answer as to why an emotional health crisis emerges when it does and at the age it does. Parents understand that mental health is multifaceted. Many ingredients go into the pot — including factors both biological and environmental; major life events (death or illness in the family, divorce, bullying, breakups); and even everyday challenges, including nearconstant exposure to social media and media in general. For the majority of kids and families, there isn’t any one factor that initiates a mental health crisis. Rather, there’s a chorus of influences.

What can parents do? Going through a behavioral health crisis with a child or teen can be gut-wrenching for parents. Often, they think their family is unique in its struggle. Not so. Data from the National Institute of Mental Health suggests that nearly 50 percent of adolescents will experience a diagnosable mental illness. While we sometimes aren’t quite sure exactly why a child might be struggling, we do know there are fairly reliable paths to help kids and families achieve greater health and well-being. Here are my recommendations for what parents can do, beyond practicing compassion:

• Ask for help. You’re human and hardly alone in this struggle, so reach out. Seek professional guidance from a licensed mental health practitioner who specializes in children, adolescents and families. Treatment may involve a combination of several modalities, including family, individual and group psychotherapy.

• Rule out medical problems. This is an important first step in treatment. A multidisciplinary approach to mental health treatment that incorporates psychiatry and therapy can help identify any medical or other biological variables that could be influencing a child’s mental health. Getting a good read on our medical health can be just as important as talk therapy. • Stay a team. Healthy families are like a rowing team; everyone must grab an oar to row the boat. No one’s role — adults or kids — can be underestimated. • Forgive yourself. All parents have regrettable moments with their kids. Most mistakes can be repaired, so move forward. Parenting has a cumulative effect. What you do today is just as important as anything that happened yesterday. • Get curious. Take a deep breath and own whatever your less-desirable tendencies are as a parent. Lead the way for your children to develop their self-curiosity by being curious about yourself. • Be a role model. Let your kids see you as a fallible human. Recognize, communicate and work on your weaknesses. It won’t hurt your authority with your kids. If you’re concerned about your child’s mental health or could use some support as a parent, contact your primary care provider for referrals or search your local listings for family therapy services. While the uncertainty of entering family therapy for the first time may be scary, the pay-off can be tremendous. Chad Cartier is a licensed professional clinical counselor at Aris Clinic, a pediatric behavioral health center that treats kids and teens throughout the Twin Cities and western Wisconsin. Learn more at aris-clinic.com.

LEARN THROUGH PLAY YMCA PRESCHOOL Ages 2 to 5 years A part-time program featuring: • Creative and fun learning environment to develop classroom socialization and school readiness • Preparation for school success • 3 locations throughout the metro area

YMCA EARLY CHILDHOOD LEARNING CENTER Ages 6 weeks to 5 years A licensed full-time program featuring: • Value-based curriculum designed to enhance your child’s learning and growth • Healthy meals and snacks • 8 locations throughout the metro area • NEW Lakeville Early Childhood Learning Center opens September 2018

Find your location at

ymcamn.org

Financial assistance available. Membership not required to enroll. 18-EC16

Mary Rose and Laura NANA & MAMA

The slippery slope of advice MAMA: By the time I became a parent in 2016, the Internet had already become a wealth of information on child development, health and parenting. But even in the era of Google, my family and friends — and strangers alike — were more than happy to share their wisdom and stories with us, welcome or not. For my partner and me, the most challenging advice to receive was from our parents/in-laws. We knew our parents were coming from a place of genuine care, a desire to support us and be actively involved in their grandchild’s life, but we weren’t always on the same page. While many fundamentals of parenting remain constant across time, some things have changed significantly due to generational differences and advances in science/ research over the past 30-plus years, such as putting babies to sleep on their backs and car seat installation methods. There were also occasions in which differences in parenting styles resulted in us choosing alternative approaches to those our own parents used when we were children. I’ve found the following strategies helpful to ensure our parents know how to make their advice-giving as helpful and supportive as possible:

Set clear boundaries. Explain issues in which you’re open to advice — and specify when you’re not: • “I’m struggling with ____ and would love to know your thoughts. How did you handle this when I was younger?” • “My partner and I have talked it over and have decided we’re handling ___ in this way. We’re not looking for advice on this issue.”

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Be open and honest. Say up front how and when you prefer to receive advice. • “I prefer that you ask if I’m open to advice on ____ before sharing your thoughts, stories or comments.” • “I’ve noticed I’m more defensive when you bring up issues while I’m in the middle of dealing with them. I want to be able to listen and understand your advice. Can we be sure to discuss those things when the kids aren’t around?”

Share your rationale. Show that you’ve put thought into your decisions by explaining why you’re doing things a certain way. • “Our pediatrician says ___” • “Recent research recommends____” • “___ aligns best with our parenting style.”

• If all of the above don’t work, or if you know it’s best to avoid these conversations entirely, you may choose not to engage and to change the subject if it comes up. (If you don’t want advice on an issue, don’t bring the issue up with your parents at all or you’ll be sending mixed messages.) NANA: While attending a recent baby shower, I heard a new mom describe the challenge she was having with her mother, specifically around having no toys or blankets in the baby’s crib. Although she’d described the latest research and recommendations from her pediatrician to her mother, her mom’s discounting reply was, “Well, we put toys and blankets in the crib with you, and you turned out OK.” It sounded like Grandma’s advice was to ignore the latest research and just do

what she did: Use a blanket and put toys in the crib. Unfortunately, the crib — and what went in it — had become a battleground for the mother and daughter. I imagine nearly every intergenerational family will go through something similar to this at some point. So here’s the deal, fellow grandparents: We’ve had our turn and raised our kids to the best of our abilities with the knowledge we had at the time. Now it’s our kids’ turn. They and their partners get to call the shots with their kids, taking in the latest research and guidelines about child rearing. Our smart, capable children are learning — sometimes by trial and error — just like we did. Mistakes will be made, consults and confessions with close friends who are also parents will be shared and numerous child-rearing problems will be solved, with and without our input. It’s all part of the parenting journey. Yes, we grandparents care deeply about our grandchildren and yes, we know a few things about kids and parenting. Yet the safest, most respectful strategy is to assume that unless our kids ask, they probably don’t want our advice. And when there’s a strategy or parenting tip we’re dying to share, we can inquire: “Are you open to my advice on xyz?” If they say no, we zip it. If they say yes, we can share, knowing they may take, tweak or totally reject our suggestion. Giving parenting advice to our adult kids is a slippery slope. Keep the peace by respecting and honoring their parenting choices. And trust that they’ll ask for advice when they need and want it. It just might not be us they ask. Mary Rose Remington, a baby boomer and new grandmother, lives in Minneapolis. Her daughter, Laura Groenjes Mitchell — a millennial first-time mom — lives in Denver. They’re documenting their generational differences with this occasional series in both Minnesota Parent and its sister publication, Minnesota Good Age. Do Good Diapers MNP 0918 2-3.indd 1

8/6/18 9:28 AM

mnparent.com • September 2018

IN THE KITCHEN

peachy

keen

September 2018 â&#x20AC;¢ mnparent.com

Caprese salad is a go-to side this time of year when tomatoes and basil are in season. But what about substituting peaches for a pop of orange — and a touch of sweetness — to lure in the kids?

PEACH CAPRESE 1/2 cup white balsamic vinegar 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil 2 white peaches, chilled 2 yellow peaches, chilled Two 4-ounce fresh mozzarella balls, preferably water-packed 10 fresh basil leaves, torn 1 teaspoon flaky salt 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper Combine the vinegar and oil in an 8-ounce screw-top jar and shake well. Refrigerate until well chilled. (Dressing can be made ahead and stored in the fridge for up to a week.) Remove the pits from the peaches and cut them into half-inch-thick slices or wedges. Drain the mozzarella (if water packed) and pat it dry. Use a sharp knife to cut the cheese into 1/4-inch slices. Arrange the peaches and mozzarella on a serving platter. Scatter the basil leaves on top, drizzle over the dressing and sprinkle the flaky salt and pepper on top. Serve immediately. Adapted from Magnolia Table: A Collection of Recipes for Gathering by Joanna Gaines. Copyright 2018. Reprinted with permission from William Morrow, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

Karen Ritz

BOOKSHELF

Books for newborns If you’ve ever attended a baby shower, you know how popular books are as gifts. If you’re looking to go beyond classics — Goodnight Moon, Where’s Spot?, Brown Bear and Runaway Bunny — this list of educational, lyrical, visually engaging board books (recommended just for newborns) is for you!

Folklorist Iona Opie has gathered more than 60 treasured rhymes in their most perfect, honest form, including Hey Diddle, Diddle, Pat-a-Cake, Little Jack Horner and Pussycat, Pussycat — familiar verses that have been passed from parent to child for generations. Though this isn’t available as a board book, go for it anyway: These rhymes — which some say are downright endangered — are every child’s birthright. Ages 2 and up • $24.99

Black silhouetted images on a white background provide high-contrast for an infant’s developing eyes. The more complex the image is (such as the butterfly), the more Baby concentrates. You can even take this one to the hospital. There’s also a White on Black version. Ages 0 and up • $6.99

Lin Oliver’s collection of original poems celebrates everyday things that enthrall little ones — playing peekaboo, banging pots and pans, splashing at bath time and cuddling at bedtime. Full of contagious rhythm and rhyme, this inviting picture book introduces young children to the sound of poetry. Ages 3 and up • $7.99

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Thursday, September 27 • 5:00–8:00 p.m.

CHILI BAKED POTATO EAST 7TH STORE • 740 EAST 7TH STREET, ST PAUL msmarket.coop/event

With an exuberant rhyming text by the master bestselling author Mem Fox and adorable cut-paper illustrations, this book is an irresistible celebration of the joyful connection between parent and child.

Food availability while supplies last. Seating may be limited.

(ALWAYS)

Ages 2–4 • $7.99

This warm and reassuring countdown to the land of dreams is ideal for the most persistent sleep evader. Yes, this book’s a bit advanced for a newborn, but it’s OK to let Baby grow up with this one. You’ll enjoy reading it — and your newborn will listen to (and love) almost anything you read. Ages 4–8 • $6.99 Karen Ritz of St. Paul is an artist, children’s book illustrator and grandparenting blogger. She chose these books in consultation with children’s literature experts Lee Galda and Rebecca Rapport. Find many more book recommendations at grandycamp.info. Especially for Children MNP 0218 V2.indd 1

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mnparent.com • September 2018

Anna Guntlisbergen of St. Paul celebrates the homecoming of her third son, Solomon (right), with her sons, Finn and Zion. Photo by Traci Buse of Blue Roots Photography, Minneapolis

Affording adoption Two Minnesota families are helping others find funding for their forever families BY ABBIE BURGESS

mnparent.com â&#x20AC;˘ September 2018

Affording adoption

↑ David and Anna Guntlisbergen of St. Paul gather with their children, Solo, 3, Zion, 4, Finn, 5, and Zimrah, 11/2, at Blue Oaks Church in Brooklyn Center. Photo courtesy of Traci Buse / Blue Roots Photography

September 2018 • mnparent.com

y the time she reached her sophomore year of college, Anna Guntlisbergen knew she was destined to one day become an adoptive parent. While volunteering in Uganda, she fell in love with the country as well as its orphaned children, most recently estimated at 2.5 million, including 1 million orphaned by AIDS. In fact, she formed a close bond with one little boy named Lucas. When she met her future husband, David Guntlisbergen, she asked if he was open to the idea of adoption. He was. But baby Lucas passed away in Uganda before they could bring him home. Though they were heartbroken, the couple knew it wasn’t the end of their journey to adopt. Over three years, the St. Paul couple adopted three boys from Uganda — Solo, Zion and Finn, now ages 3, 4 and 5 — all shortly before they turned 1. Earlier this year, they brought home their daughter, 15-month-old Zimrah, from India. Going into their first adoption, they were most concerned about the funding, Anna Guntlisbergen said. Adoption costs vary, but they can easily range between $5,000 and $50,000, after agency costs, legal fees and, in the case of international adoption, travel expenses. “It’s daunting to look at that number and know: We have to figure out a way to pay for this,” Guntlisbergen said. But love found a way for the Guntlisbergens.

Fearless fund raising By the time the Guntlisbergens made it to their fourth adoption, they were so busy raising their growing family that financing was low on their list of concerns. “The funding always comes through,” said Guntlisbergen, who estimates the adoption costs of all four of their kids at $120,000 collectively. But that money didn’t come out of nowhere. Far from it. The Guntlisbergens have worked tirelessly to raise funds for each of their four international adoptions, using a mix of grants and personal fund-raising campaigns. “Otherwise, we would have had no way to adopt even one child,” Guntlisbergen said. Through online companies such as Teespring and Bonfire they designed custom T-shirts to sell, which brought in about $500 to $1,000 dollars each time. For their most recent adoption, the design said, “Send our Love to India,” and could be purchased by friends and family. Guntlisbergen also designed a grid-pattern graphic to share on Facebook, inviting friends and family to choose a heart numbered 1 through 100, corresponding to the amount they wished to donate to the cause. ← Anna Guntlisbergen’s family used custom-designed “Send Our Love to India” T-shirts to help raise money for the adoption of their daughter, Zimrah.

rain taxi

TWIN CITIES BOOK FESTIVAL

Saturday, October 13, 2018

Minnesota State Fairgrounds 10am - 5pm • FREE admission & parking

All-Day Book Fair Storytelling & Activities for Kids Teen & Tween Events Author Readings & Signings Used Book & Record Sale

see author line-up at raintaxi.org

This activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant from the Metropolitan Regional Arts Council, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund.

Parents, have you named guardians for your kids?

Free Estate Planning and Asset Protection Workshop September 22 at 11:30 am Brooklyn Park Library 8500 W. Broadway Ave Save your seat at: lauraecowanlaw.com/ minnesota-events or call.

225 S. Sixth Street, 39th Fl. Minneapolis lauraecowanlaw.com 855-914-1944 Law Office of Laura Cowan MNP 0918 H4.indd 1

8/8/18 10:45 AM

mnparent.com • September 2018

Affording adoption Helping others Today Guntlisbergen — who worked for three years at an adoption agency helping families navigate the sometimes-daunting process of adoption — runs her own adoption-consulting service called The Gathering Room. She helps other families set up their own adoption fund-raisers and shares advice for life after adoption, too. “Adoption is my biggest passion,” said Guntlisbergen, whose personal focus has been the cause of orphan care. Crowdsourcing has helped many families raise money for adoption costs, she said. The Colorado-based nonprofit Adopt a Love Story combines the power of crowdfunding and video for families hoping to adopt. A professional film team flies to the family’s location to create a video (for a fee) about their adoption journey. The Guntlisbergens’ touching 10-minute Adopt a Love Story video can be seen at adoptalovestory. com/family/guntlisbergen. Their campaign raised more than $29,000. Guntlisbergen also recommends adoptive families seek out grants. There’s money out there for adoptive families. It just takes time and research to find it, she said. Guntlisbergen’s a la carte services through The Gathering Room range from $200 to $300 for various support services or $40 to $50 per hour for consulting. Adoption fund-raising veterans around

↑ Geoff and Nicole Bullock sit with their daughters, Annika, 5, and Alaya, 7. Photo courtesy of Traci Buse / Blue Roots Photography

the country offer similar services based on their first-hand experience on websites such as Resources4Adoption.com and fundyouradoption.tv.

An Adoption LOC Geoff and Nicole Bullock of Brooklyn Park can’t imagine life without their daughters, 7-year-old Alaya, who brings her diary wherever she goes, and 5-year-old Annika who wants to be outside in the backyard 24/7. “You don’t know how many times I’ve watched Frozen,” their dad said. “I know it word for word.” Both girls joined the family as infants through domestic adoptions through Lutheran Social Service of Minnesota. When unexpected costs arose with their second adoption (ultimately totaling more than $35,000),

Our daughters have brought us so much joy that I can’t explain with words. I would encourage everyone to explore adoption. — Geoﬀ Bullock, an adoptive father and creator of a new adoption line of credit at Fireﬂy Credit Union

September 2018 • mnparent.com

the Bullocks refused to give up. Geoff Bullock said: “We literally sold our house to adopt Baby No. 2. We were lucky we had the equity in it.” Knowing others won’t necessarily have that option, Bullock, a financial educator at Firefly Credit Union, came up with the idea of a special line of credit for adoptive families, allowing them to borrow money as expenses arise. Instead of paying interest on an entire sum as is customary with a traditional loan, the adoption line of credit requires a payment only on the amount borrowed, making it more affordable. “You can take out what you need — for example, for a home study,” Bullock said of the long and involved evaluations families go through to receive adoptive placements. On Jan. 2, Firefly Credit Union’s nine Twin Cities locations launched the new line of credit. The idea won an industry competition and grew in momentum: Now credit unions around the country are contacting Firefly to pursue the concept. “People are priced out of adoption,” said Bullock, who hopes to change that fact.

Affording adoption Keep in mind that a tax professional can help to determine eligibility for state and federal adoption credits for all types of adoptions. Also, many workplaces offer adoption benefits, including financial assistance for adoptions and/or parental leave.

A culture of adoption When adoption costs become prohibitive, another option to explore is the adoption of kids in foster care, said Alexis Oberdorfer, Executive Director of Adoption at Children’s Home Society of Minnesota. “Let’s not forget we have lots of kids in foster care with a range of needs whose adoption fees are free,” Oberdorfer said. Adopting a child from foster care typically involves few or no fees in most

states. Parents may choose to hire a private agency to help them through this process. These families can incur out-ofpocket expenses, but they can typically recoup them from federal or state programs after the adoption is finalized. In the U.S., roughly 100,000 children in foster care are waiting to be adopted, according to the St. Paul-based North American Council on Adoptable Children. Overall adoption rates are decreasing nationwide and in Minnesota, especially in the area of international adoptions, according to a June 2018 article in the Star Tribune. Foster care adoptions in Minnesota, however, appear to be bucking that trend, climbing nearly 30 percent during the past decade. The Children’s Home Society and Lutheran Social Service programs, which used to handle primarily international adoptions, in 2017 facilitated 137 adoptions from foster care, 95 international adoptions and 43 domestic infant adoptions. Minnesota is special in that it boasts a strong history of adoption. More than

↑ Annika and Alaya Bullock of Brooklyn Park hang out during a recent family photo shoot. Photo courtesy of Traci Buse / Blue Roots Photography

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Let’s not forget we have lots of kids in foster care with a range of needs whose adoption fees are free. — Alexis Oberdorfer, Children’s Home Society of Minnesota 5,000 children arrived in the state via orphan trains from 1882 to 1929, according to the Minnesota Historical Society. The orphan train movement was the largest mass migration of children in U.S. history with an estimated 150,000 to 250,000 children relocated from the overcrowded streets of eastern cities like New York and Boston. “Minnesotans are caring people, with a higher median income,” Bullock said. “There’s a culture around [adoption] that’s unique to who we are as Minnesotans.” Bullock added that almost everyone he talks to has some connection to adoption, either personally or through someone close to them. “[Adoption] permeates the culture,” Oberdorfer said. “And we don’t even know to what degree.” Whatever the historical and cultural history around it, potential parents today seem to be creatively overcoming their financial obstacles to grow their families through adoption. “Where there’s a will, there’s a way,” Bullock said. “Our daughters have brought us so much joy that I can’t explain with words. I would encourage everyone to explore adoption.” Oberdorfer agreed: “People who have room in their hearts to expand their family should not let money stand in the way.” Abbie Burgess is a Twin Cities freelance writer and lifestyle blogger at thepinkpaperdoll.com.

PINE TREE

RESOURCES Adopt US Kids

adoptuskids.org Learn about foster care and adoption — including state-specific information — from this national organization, which offers free adoption-support services by phone and email.

Children’s Home Society chsfs.org

CHS of Minnesota, which merged its adoption programs with those of Lutheran Social Services of Minnesota in 2012, has facilitated more than 26,000 adoptions since 1889, including domestic infant and foster-care adoptions as well as international adoptions.

APPLE ORCHARD

Pregnancy & Postpartum Support Minnesota

Apples, of course, and Apple Cider, Apple Bakery

MN Chapter of Postpartum Support International

Text-Call-Email HelpLine

- A Family Outing -

612-787-PPSM (7776) • PSMhelpline@gmail.com

Provider Referrals. Peer Support. Local Resources. ppsupportmn.org Pregnancy Postpartum Support MNP 0918 12.indd 1

Jacobson’s

651-429-7202

North of White Bear Lake Off E. Hwy. 96 on Apple Orchard Rd. www.pinetreeappleorchard.com

7/19/18 Pine 9:58 Tree AM Orchards MNP 0911 12.indd 1

8/15/11 11:12 AM

Firefly Credit Union fireflycu.org

Nine locations of this Burnsvillebased financial institution are offering unsecured, fixed-rate line of credit loans that can be used to fund up to 90 percent of adoption expenses.

The Gathering Room thegatheringroom.org

Anna Guntlisbergen of St. Paul created her own consulting service to help families navigate the adoption process, including fund raising.

Minnesota Department of Health tinyurl.com/mdhs-adoption

AUSM MNP 0918 H4.indd 1

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Learn about adoption in Minnesota. Also, use licensinglookup.dhs.state.mn.us to find state-licensed agencies for a variety of family services.

MN Adopt

mnadopt.org Formerly known as Minnesota Adoption Resource Network, this organization promotes successful adoptions for Minnesota children and families, including support groups for all ages.

North American Council on Adoptable Children nacac.org

Based in St. Paul, this organization works to ensure all children in foster care have permanent, loving and supported families.

• A safe, nurturing environment, staffed with only the highest quality teachers. • All inclusive tuition, including supplies, enrichment classes, and more.

NOW ENROLLING Infants through Pre-Kindergarten WWW.KINDErBErrYHILL.COM

• Reggio Emilia influences to fully prepare children for kindergarten.

mnparent.com • September 2018

This is the actual size of the most commonly prescribed hormonal intrauterine device (IUD), which is typically about 1.26 inches tall.

The IUD is back

(and better)

Once seen as a fringy alternative to The Pill, today’s intrauterine devices — five types in all! — are winning the hearts of moms (and non-moms) alike BY KATIE DOHMAN

In 1960, a prescription drug designed to suppress ovulation and inhibit conception — widely known and universally referred to as The Pill — liberated a generation of women, allowing them to take control of their sexual health for the very first time in history. If you came of age in the ’80s or ’90s, your provider likely floated The Pill as your best bet for birth control — and there were many formulations to choose from, making it a flexible, easy choice for many. In 1970, an American-made intrauterine device, or IUD, debuted with the sci-fi-esque name Dalkon Shield, and with it came a series of fatal flaws (sometimes literally), including a braided cord that invited infection, which potentially caused the onset of infertility. There was also disagreement among professionals about what to do in case of unintended pregnancy.

mnparent.com • September 2018

The IUD is back

(and better)

As a result, there were reports of maternal death after miscarrying, and consequently numerous lawsuits, in which juries awarded millions in damages. Not long after, there was what amounted to an unofficial nationwide recall of the IUD, and just about a decade after its American debut, the IUD was virtually impossible to find in the U.S. So, if you came of age in the ’80s or ’90s and your sex ed class treated the IUD as a weird, fringy choice — the copper IUD debuted in 1984, but it took four years before it was offered in the U.S. — that’s because, well, it kind of was.

Automatic and effective But now that has all changed. And there’s a lot to catch up on. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, the professional membership program for obstetricians and gynecologists, began recommending IUDs in 2009 as its first-line recommendation for patients — ranging in age from adolescent to perimenopausal — who were seeking long-acting reversible birth control methods. The organization reiterated its unstinting support for IUDs in 2015 and again in 2017 because, it said, long-acting reversible birth control methods (such as IUDs and upper-arm implants such as Nexplanon) are up to 20 times more effective than pills, patches or rings in the long term. Now Minnesota physicians are echoing that sentiment. “IUDs are where it’s at,” said Dr. Kristin Lyerly, an OB/GYN at Maple Grove Hospital. “It’s the best method out there, hands down, because it works for so many women,” Lyerly said. “And the

September 2018 • mnparent.com

beauty is that it’s better than 99 percent effective, but also totally reversible.” More than 99 percent effective puts it on par with female sterilization (tubal ligation), which is permanent. The IUD is ideal for postpartum moms, even if they’re breastfeeding or considering another child, Lyerly said. “I love doing IUDs for postpartum moms, right at the [standard, six-week] postpartum visit,” Lyerly said. “Postpartum moms don’t need another thing to think about.” Dr. Maureen Ayers Looby, an OB/GYN who practices at Fairview Lakes in Wyoming, Minnesota, concurs. “The IUD completely takes out human error, constantly working for you every day,” she said. And that’s important for women juggling life with a newborn. “You’re not even sure what time it is — or you’ve been awake two days in a row — why add another task to remember?” Ayers Looby said, adding that many popular birth control methods fall far below the 99 percent effective threshold. For example, the average couple who uses birth control pills correctly over a year still has a 9 percent risk of getting pregnant. Correct use of condoms has an 18 percent failure rate. And natural family planning, also known as the rhythm method, carries a pregnancy risk of up to 24 percent. Despite the IUD’s effectiveness, only 7.7 percent of women in the U.S. using contraception in 2015 reported having an IUD, according to data from the U.S. National Library of Medicine.

A little plastic T The IUD works, in part, by creating an “inhospitable” environment for a sperm and egg to meet and implant in the uterus. About 1 inch tall and wide, IUDs are flexible T-shaped devices. When compared to the Dalkon Shield — with its plastic ring, central membrane and lateral spikes — modern IUDs are triumphs of simplicity. There are two main types approved

for contraceptive use in the U.S. First, there’s the ParaGard, a nonhormonal copper IUD that relies on the spermicidal nature of copper. Though the method offers completely hormone-free birth control, some women experience heavier bleeding and cramping than their regular periods. Of note: If the copper IUD is inserted up to five days after unprotected sex, it’s 99.9 percent effective at preventing pregnancy, making it an emergency contraceptive option with lasting protection. Another feature: ParaGard lasts at least 10 years, if not 12. The second option is the hormonal IUD, of which there are now four models — the very popular and well-known Mirena, and the newer Kyleena, Skyla and Liletta. This type of IUD uses a small amount of the hormone progestin, which thickens cervical mucus, discouraging sperm from entering the uterus. It sometimes prevents ovulation as well. Finally, the lining of the uterus doesn’t build up much blood, so many women report that, after initial spotting, they have much lighter periods or — and this is a big one for many women (for better or worse) — no periods at all.

What’s the difference? Hormonal types vary by dosage, size and duration of use. Mirena (52 mg of hormone) and Kyleena (19.5 mg) both last for a minimum of five years. Skyla (13.5 mg) lasts for three years. Kyleena and Skyla are slightly smaller than Mirena (1.18 inches versus 1.26) and are geared toward women who haven’t had children. All three are made by the Bayer pharmaceutical company. Generally speaking, the higher the level of hormone, the higher the likelihood is that the user will get lighter periods or stop getting periods altogether. Liletta (52 mg) is similar to Mirena, but is currently approved for only four years of use before replacement and is a made by Allergan pharmaceutical company in

I love doing IUDs for postpartum moms, right at the [standard, six-week] postpartum visit. Postpartum moms don’t need another thing to think about. — Dr. Kristin Lyerly, an OB/GYN at Maple Grove Hospital

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partnership with the San Francisco-based nonprofit female-led pharmaceutical company known as Medicines360. Medicines360 — which is focused on women’s health worldwide — recently introduced a hormonal IUD known as Avibela in Madagascar. Sales of Liletta in the U.S. help fund research and development to bring family-planning solutions to countries around the world.

Mirena’s magic The most popular hormonal IUD choice remains Mirena, despite the influx of new options on the market. It was approved for use in the U.S. in 2001, more than a decade after it was introduced in Europe. “It’s my favorite for my patients,” Ayers Looby said. “It’s been around the longest, so there’s really good safety data about it.” Mirena also boasts the longest continuation rates, meaning most women take it out only to replace it or get pregnant. Women have flocked to the IUD for another major benefit: The amount of hormone exposure from an IUD is far less than that of birth control pills. “Picture taking The Pill,” Ayers Looby said. “You have to swallow it and digest it. It then goes into your bloodstream, and then acts on your uterus and ovaries to prevent ovulation. Once it’s in your bloodstream, it can cause systemic side effects.”

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mnparent.com • September 2018

The IUD is back

(and better)

Sometimes those effects are highly desirable, as is the case for acne control. But birth control pills, Ayers Looby said, can also cause all sorts of unintended systemic side effects, such as decreased milk supply for breastfeeding mothers and an increased risk of blood clots with some formulations. Because IUDs release hormones directly into the uterus, only small amounts enter the bloodstream. Additionally, there are generally two types of female hormones in birth control pills (estrogen and progestin), but hormonal IUDs rely on only one (progestin).

Broader implications Jennifer Schrader, a 36-year-old mother of two from Minneapolis, is a Mirena evangelist. “The thing that I like most about Mirena is that I don’t have to remember to take anything, and the lack of periods or lighter periods are definitely helpful,” she said, adding that Mirena is far and away her choice until her doc says it’s time to be done. “I’ve been on pretty much every form of birth control other than the Depo shot. Pills, patches, rings — done, done and done.” Not having periods makes for more flexibility with her wardrobe — and her sex life. “There are so few things in our postpartum lives that can make us still feel feminine and desirable,” she said. “I’m not giving up my thongs.” Even mothers consulted for this story who suffered the rare instances of IUD complications — such as uterus perforations, expulsions and/or migrations — said their experiences wouldn’t stop them from recommending IUDs to others, or trying them again.

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Additionally, the hormonal IUD is being used for perimenopausal women and women with endometriosis (and other conditions) to control their symptoms. They’re also a choice among women with cognitive or physical disabilities and among homeless women, too, owing to their long life, the need for fewer doctor visits and feminine hygiene products and ease of use. Women who are facing cultural or religious issues or domestic violence — who need birth control without their partner knowing — can safely choose IUDs as a discreet birth-control option.

Online mythology If you use Google to do your IUD research, beware: The Internet is rife with horror stories about all types of birth control (so are Internet-based moms’ groups). Relax, say medical professionals. The data simply doesn’t support the proliferation of this online mythology. “There is a whole group of people who love, love, love it — and a handful of people who have had a sister’s boyfriend’s mom have a problem,” Ayers Looby said. Karen Zimmerman, a certified nurse midwife with HealthEast in the Twin Cities, said the social media storyline and the reality in her practice just don’t match up. Nearly all the patients she sees are satisfied with their choice, and she’s seen very little dissatisfaction with the method. In fact, IUDs are now the most common contraception she prescribes. Looby agreed: “The vast majority of those who are confident with the data and trying the method are happy with the choice.”

A sociopolitical response In addition to the medical community paving the way for broader IUD acceptance, there’s another factor afoot: Fears about a loss of reproductive rights have risen since the 2016 presidential election. There are multiple facets to these concerns: The possible repeal of the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), threats to Planned Parenthood’s Title X funding and the potential for anti-choice Supreme Court nominations, which some believe could open the door to a rehash of Roe v. Wade and abortion rights. In January 2017, Slate reported that Planned Parenthood saw a 900 percent increase in patients seeking IUDs in the week after the election. Women urged their friends on social media channels to book appointments for IUDs to capitalize on what remaining covered reproductive health care they may have left. Others talked of stocking up on Plan B pills and pushed for immediate monetary support of Planned Parenthood. After the election, Zimmerman saw an influx of women saying they were worried about their contraceptive choices and the future of their medical insurance. Lyerly said cost of IUDs — which Planned Parenthood puts at $0 to $1,300 — is a factor, too: “Women are very concerned they will not get their birth control, and IUDs are not un-expensive.” More than a few Twin Cities women have seen the election as a call to action to choose IUDs. “I got mine put in right after Donald Trump was elected president,” said Heather Friedli, a 35-year-old mother of two from St. Paul who hopes her five-year IUD will outlast the current president.

Study up! Compare 18 birth control methods — including their cost, effectiveness and effort levels — at plannedparenthood.org. Dive even deeper on different types of birth control at bedsider.org, an online birth control support network operated by Power to Decide, a campaign to prevent unplanned pregnancy.

“I felt it was important to have a semipermanent method this administration could not take away from me.”

A couple caveats As always, it’s a good idea to consult your doctor or health-care pro about what contraception method is right for your body and life situation. It’s important to note that IUDs do nothing to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Side effects of IUDs include pain during insertion (which some women describe as excruciating while others say it’s next to nothing), plus cramping or backaches for a few days after insertion; irregular periods; spotting between periods; ovarian cysts; and — with ParaGard — heavier periods and worse menstrual cramps. In rare cases, an IUD can attach to or go through the wall of the uterus and cause other problems. There is also a low risk of a serious infection called pelvic inflammatory disease (1 percent) and a risk of accidental expulsion (4 percent). Also, IUDs aren’t entirely maintenance free. It’s recommended that users do monthly string checks to make sure the device is in place. Women often report that the strings aren’t always easy to feel, even when present. If you’re concerned, your OB/GYN can do a check for you. If you’re interested in getting pregnant, you can start trying as soon as you see your doctor to have your IUD removed. According to Mirena and independent research, 8 out of 10 women who want to become pregnant succeed in becoming pregnant within a year of having an IUD removed. Just remember, the IUD can’t stop time, so while it doesn’t affect your fertility per se, your eggs will still continue to age — and decline in number — while the IUD is in place.

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Katie Dohman is a freelance writer and mother of three who lives in West St. Paul. She’s always been scared of the IUD, but now she’s been convinced it’s a safe option. mnparent.com • September 2018

A new NICU app By Rachel Brougham

or expecting parents, the months leading up to the birth of a child provide time to plan and prepare. But when all that planning and preparation is thrown off course unexpectedly, parents can be left in a world that’s difficult to navigate. Denise Zahui Gboignon knows that world well. At just 24 weeks pregnant, Gboignon went into labor. While she tried to stop contractions, nature didn’t cooperate, and her son, Orion, was born on Feb. 7, 2018. He was quickly whisked away to the NICU at the hospital.

September 2018 • mnparent.com

“It’s a scary time because you just don’t know what’s happening,” Gboignon said. “The doctors and nurses tell you what’s going on and keep you up-to-date, but I would find myself wanting to know more or not really understanding it all.” Gboignon said she felt alone and isolated, a common feeling among parents of NICU babies. Becoming a new parent can be difficult enough. But add the stress of the NICU — with breathing and feeding tubes, countless doctors and nurses — and parents can quickly become overwhelmed.

A social worker told Gboignon about the free new My NICU Baby app from the March of Dimes, a national nonprofit organization that advocates for the health of mothers, mothers-to-be and babies, including preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.

A guide for parents The app works as a one-stop shop for parents trying to cope with the NICU experience and the transition home. “My NICU Baby empowers moms and dads with the knowledge and tools they

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• Watch educational videos on parenting topics; • Learn the vocabulary of the baby’s care; • Use a checklist to keep track of questions for health-care providers, make to-do lists or take notes; • Track feedings and breast milk pumping; • Track weight gain/loss for their baby; • Use a fun “photo booth” feature to add filters to new or existing snapshots; • Participate in a March of Dimes online community of parents; • Give feedback to the March of Dimes.

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need at an overwhelming and scary time in their lives,” said Stacey Stewart, president of March of Dimes. The app’s features allow families to:

While the March of Dimes has long offered support for NICU families — including printed materials, staffed programs and educational opportunities throughout the country — the organization knew it needed to enhance the NICU experience. “Delivery of education and informa-

tion is changing so much, and over the last four years our hospital partners and parents wanted information in an additional format,” said Lori Gunther, senior director of NICU Innovation at March of Dimes. “We had an ethical responsibility to take our materials and put them in a digital format, so no matter where you are, you can get the information and education.” Gunther knows what it’s like to have a child in the NICU. When she started work on creating the app, she relied on her own experiences. “I didn’t know what to ask when my baby was in the NICU,” Gunther said. “I thought, ‘What would I have wanted?’” Gunther came up with concepts and then tested them with NICU families. The app launched in late January 2018. Initially the goal was 5,000 downloads in the app’s first year. As of July, that number stood at more than 4,600. “What I really like is that if your baby

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has gastroparesis, you can learn about that. You can look it up and it will tell you what it is in plain language,” Gunther said. “It will tell you the diagnosis, possible treatments and give you some questions you might want to ask.” The app also includes resources for single moms, adoptive parents and parents of a child with a serious health diagnosis.

Hope and healing Gboignon used the weight and feeding trackers on the app while her son was in the NICU. “Once I was going to the NICU on a regular basis, the app helped me understand medical terms. And when I looked at stories from other moms on the app, I didn’t feel so alone in all this,” she said. Orion came home from the hospital in June, more than three months after his birth. Gboignon still uses the app for tracking his weight and feedings and for connecting with other moms using the app. “The My NICU Baby app gets you through the journey and makes you realize you’re not the only one,” she said. “I know it’s giving others hope.” Rachel Brougham is a mother of a NICU graduate. She who works as a freelance writer and editor in Minneapolis.

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mnparent.com • September 2018

BABY RESOURCES ADVERTISER LISTINGS New Horizon Academy New Horizon Academy is a MN family-owned company that provides high quality child care and early education. While focusing on developing a healthy sense of self in each child, we also strive to provide your child with the necessary skills to succeed not only in school, but in life. Multiple locations • 763-557-1111 newhorizonacademy.net

Playworks Playworks is the South Metro's premier provider of quality childcare and family fun. Offering certified teachers, state-of-theart facilities, and excellent care options, Playworks is a safe and exciting place for your child to play, laugh and learn. Prior Lake • 952-445-PLAY (7529) playworksfun.com

Sleepy Tigers Chinese Immersion Learning Center Our Chinese Immersion Preschool and pre-K program provide children a creative, interactive, and fun learning experience. We are NAEYC accredited and Parent Aware 4 Star rated. We are dedicated to high quality early childhood education, in a loving, caring, nurturing environment for the children. Minnetonka • 612-986-6010 sleepytigers.com

Birthing Centers Willow Midwives

Willow Midwives is a full service Clinic and Birth Center that seeks to provide individualized care for wellness across the lifespan, including annual wellness exams, contraception, pre-conception, prenatal care and birth, breastfeeding, and all that lies between. Minneapolis • 612-345-5920 willowmidwives.com

Childcare

Creative Kids Academy Creative Kids Academy provides exceptional early education for children 6 weeks to 12 years. We are NAEYC and MN Parent aware accredited. Our interactive enrichment programs such as Yoga, Spanish, Karate, Story Telling and Music are all FREE. Visit one of our 9 amazing locations! Multiple locations • 763-360-6730 ckakids.com

Especially for Children For 42 years, Especially for Children has provided high quality, nurturing childcare and play-based education. Our programs foster children’s social, emotional, physical

September 2018 • mnparent.com

and cognitive development. Visit us to meet our caring, qualified teachers and see our programs in action. Multiple locations • 952-857-1100 especiallyforchildren.com

Kinderberry Hill Highest-quality care and early education with a heartfelt dedication to nurturing intelligence. Our premier programs feature experienced educators, onsite school nurse, a commitment to health/nutrition and a Reggio based custom curriculum designed to fully prepare children for Minnesota public and most prestigious private schools. FT/PT, infants to pre-K. Multiple locations kinderberryhill.com

Mis Amigos Spanish Immersion "Giving Children The World." Serving ages 6 weeks to 5 years. Half- and full-day options available. Native Spanish speaking teachers. Call or email to schedule a tour today! Parent Aware Highest Rating – 4 stars. NAEYC-accredited. Hopkins • 952-935-5588 Minnetonka • 952-935-5588 St. Paul • 651-728-3261 misamigospreschool.com

Dentists

Dentistry for Children & Adolescents Our dentists and team members are committed to providing your child with the highest standard of pediatric dental care from birth to age 19. We believe with good home care, regular dental visits and preventive procedures, your child can grow up cavity free. Edina • 952-831-4400 Burnsville • 952-435-4102 Minnetonka • 952-932-0920 childrensdent.com

Maplewood Pediatric Dentistry At Maplewood Pediatric Dentistry, our pediatric dentists and their team provide gentle encouragement in a child-friendly atmosphere to children ages 1–18. We build trust with your child, so that he or she will love going to the dentist now and forever. Maplewood • 651-779-9002 maplewoodpediatricdentistry.com

Fitness St. Paul Ballet

This non-profit, community dance school offers lessons for ages 2–100, year-round for all income levels and abilities! Children ages

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Health Care

Pregnancy & Postpartum Support MN/PSI-Minnesota Mental health and perinatal practitioners, service organizations, and volunteers who provide support, advocacy, awareness, and training about perinatal mental health in Minnesota. Contact Pregnancy Postpartum Support MN’s Helpline if you or someone you care about is struggling as a new parent. Multiple locations • 612-787-7776 ppsupportmn.org

Photography

Giliane E. Mansfeldt Photography, LLC Boutique studio specializing in Newborns, Maternity, Family and Children Photography. St. Paul • 651-760-3974 giliane-e-mansfeldtphotography.com

Resources Help Me Grow MN

Young children grow, learn and change all the time. Keep track of the developmental milestones your child reaches. If you have concerns about your child’s development, talk to your doctor or refer your child to Help Me Grow MN. 866-693-4769 helpmegrowmn.org

Minnesota WIC Program The Minnesota WIC Program provides nutrition information, breastfeeding support, referrals, and healthy foods to income eligible women (pregnant, breastfeeding, and postpartum), infants, and children up to the age of 5. 800-WIC-4030 or 651-201-4404 health.state.mn.us/wic Select: WIC Agency Directory on left

Retail Paciﬁer

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mnparent.com • September 2018

Out & About

SEPTEMBER

mnparent.com/calendar

Party in the Prairie ⊲ Enjoy fun outdoor activities, local flavors and live music, including folkrock, Americana and bluegrass performances, all in a beautiful setting. When: Sept. 22 Where: Richardson Nature Center, Bloomington Cost: Advance tickets are required and cost $9 — or $7 at North Face stores in Edina, Minneapolis and St. Paul (cash only). Info: threeriversparks.org/partyintheprairie

AUG. 18–SEPT. 30

AUG. 25–26

SEPT. 5–8

⊲ Explore a 16th-century European village featuring 16 stages of live entertainment, more than 250 marketplace artisans, roaming characters and live armored jousting.

⊲ Discover how farm animals are raised, prepared and judged at state and county fairs. Test your judging skills to determine the perfect sheep, an award-winning Hubbard squash and a blue-ribbon pickle.

⊲ Over a four-day stretch, this community celebration features entertainment, fireworks, carnival rides, kids activities, demonstrations, food and beverages from local restaurants, and, of course, a fire truck and community parade.

Renaissance Festival

When: Aug. 18–Sept. 30 Where: 12364 Chestnut Blvd., Shakopee Cost: $13.50–$24.95 Info: renaissancefest.com

AUG. 23–SEPT. 3

The Minnesota State Fair ⊲ Also known as the Great Minnesota Get-Together, this beloved annual event features 12 days of food on a stick, agricultural exhibits, vendors, parades, entertainment, rides, farm animals and more. When: Aug. 23–Sept. 3 Where: State Fairgrounds, St. Paul Cost: $12–$14 Info: mnstatefair.org

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Farm to Fair Weekend

When: Aug. 25–26 Where: Oliver Kelley Farm, Elk River Cost: Included with $6–12 site admission Info: mnhs.org/event/5980

AUG. 31

Wizard of Oz Sing-Along ⊲ Join a community sing-along, followed by prizes for the best costume and then, at dusk, sing along to a screening of the famous film. When: Aug. 31 Where: Lake Harriet Bandshell, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: vocalessence.org

Burnsville Fire Muster

When: Sept. 5–8 Where: Burnsville Cost: FREE Info: burnsvillefiremuster.org

SEPT. 7–9

James J. Hill Days ⊲ Take part in a community tradition with this 43rd-annual event, including a carnival, a street market, fireworks, beer gardens, a water-ski show, dachshund races, a kid zone, food trucks, coaster cart races, a classic car show, a parade, a craft-beer festival and concerts with Jonny Lang and Toby Keith. When: Sept. 7–9 Where: Lake Street, Wayzata Cost: Most events are FREE. Info: jamesjhilldays.com

SEPT. 7–9

Taste of Greece ⊲ Enjoy live music, dancing, cultural events, church tours, authentic food and desserts and a Greek boutique at this annual festival. When: Sept. 7–9 Where: St. Mary’s Greek Orthodox Church, Minneapolis Cost: Admission is free. Food tickets are $1 each. Info: mplsgreekfest.org

SEPT. 7–OCT. 28

Sever’s Fall Festival ⊲ Bask in all things autumn with a corn maze, an extreme corn pit, zip lines, a tire mountain, jumping pillows, pumpkin blasters, hayrides, food trucks and a pumpkin patch. New this year: Two performers with Lime Tree Circus will entertain with unicycling and acrobatics. When: Fridays–Sundays Sept. 7–Oct. 28 and Oct. 18 Where: Canterbury Park, Shakopee Cost: $15; free for ages 3 and younger Info: seversfallfestival.com

SEPT. 8

MacPhail’s 50th Birthday Party ⊲ Sing, play and learn with a variety of activities, including a live band, outdoor fun, musical story time, sample classes, giveaways and cake. When: Sept. 8 Where: MacPhail Center for Music, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: macphail.org

Monarch Festival ⊲ Honor the iconic butterfly’s amazing 2,300-mile migration from Minnesota to the mountains of Mexico with live music, a parade, dance performances, art activities, games and Minnesotan and Latin food. When: Sept. 8 Where: Lake Nokomis, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: monarchfestival.org mnparent.com • September 2018

Washburn Games

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⊲ Ages 4 to 12 can try a variety of sports such as soccer, volleyball, lacrosse and more, along with crafts, music and fun at this annual fundraising event. Kids get to discover their favorite sport (before they oﬃcially sign up for one) and give back to support the Washburn Center for Children. All participants receive a T-shirt, medal, goodie bag and the joy of helping others.

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When: Sept. 23 Where: Bryn Mawr Meadows Park, Minneapolis Cost: $10 in advance or $15 at the event Info: Register at washburngames.org.

SEPT. 9

Bellyrama ⊲ Celebrate bellies, mamas, community and yoga with this annual event — at a new location — featuring activities for all ages, including adult and kid yoga sessions, a DJ, vendors and more. When: Sept. 9 Where: Blooma parking lot, Minneapolis Cost: FREE Info: facebook.com/bloomayoga.

SEPT. 14–15

St. Paul Oktoberfest ⊲ Enjoy German beer and cuisine at this annual event, showcasing the centuriesold German traditions of bed races, dachshund races, strongman/woman competitions, a wedding, beer-hall contests, games, a horse-drawn beerwagon parade, two entertainment stages and a kids carnival ($12 — Sept. 15 only). When: Sept. 14–15 Where: Schmidt Artist Lofts, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: saintpauloktoberfest.org

SEPT. 14–16

Nativity County Fair ⊲ Activities for all ages include rides, games, food, beverages, an art market, creative activities, live and silent auctions, a fun run, bingo and ongoing live entertainment. When: Sept. 14–16

September 2018 • mnparent.com

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Where: Nativity of Our Lord Church and School, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: nativitycountyfair.org

SEPT. 15

Wild Rice Festival ⊲ Celebrate wild rice and Native American culture at this annual gathering, featuring activities, educational presentations, engaging exhibits and food trucks. When: Sept. 15 Where: Harriet Alexander Nature Center, Roseville Cost: FREE Info: wildricefestival.org

Model Railroad Show ⊲ View a variety of miniature railroads, including the Twin City Model Railroad Museum’s traveling Thomas the Tank Engine layout, which can be operated by little engineers of all ages. When: Sept. 15 Where: Education Building, Minnesota State Fairgrounds, St. Paul Cost: $6 for adults and free for ages 7 and younger Info: tcmrm.org

SEPT. 15–OCT. 21

Last Stop on Market Street

⊲ Six-year-old CJ is (reluctantly) staying with his (extremely over-the-top) Nana,

in a world considerably different from the one he’s used to (his phone and tablet). Guided by his veritable force-ofnature Nana, CJ travels a little closer to his roots.

• • • • •

When: Sept. 15–Oct. 21 Where: Children’s Theatre Company, Minneapolis Cost: Tickets start at $15. Info: childrenstheatre.org

Hands-on Service Projects Multicultural Performances Kindness Art Installation Fun Fundraisers Photo Booth and More!

$5/Person or $20/Family (2 & under FREE) Kindly bring along one or more pairs of NEW socks for Simpson Housing Services.

SEPT. 16

TICKETS: DoingGoodTogether.org/Festival

Czech and Slovak Festival ⊲⊲Savor the sights, sounds and flavors of Czech, Slovak, Bohemian and Moravian cultures at this annual festival with live music, ethnic food and beer, folk dance performances, children’s games, craft booths and more. When: Sept. 16 Where: CSPS Hall, St. Paul Cost: FREE Info: sokolmn.org

SEPT. 22

Museum Day Live! ⊲⊲Smithsonian magazine’s annual event includes free admission to many museums nationwide, including 11 Minnesota destinations, such as The Works in Bloomington and the Minnesota History Center in St. Paul. When: Sept. 22 Where: Minnesota Cost: FREE. Downloadable tickets, good for two people each, are required. Info: smithsonianmag.com/ museumday

Excelsior Apple Day ⊲⊲Join a lakeside festival celebrating community, featuring locally produced food, art, antiques, handicrafts and a good old-fashioned street dance. When: Sept. 22 Where: Water Street, Excelsior Cost: FREE Info: tinyurl.com/apple-day-2018

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When: Sept. 22–Oct. 28 Where: Brooklyn Park Cost: $10 per person online or $12 at the gate; children under 36 inches tall are admitted for free. Info: twincitiesmaze.com

Out & About SEPT. 22–OCT. 28

After an inclusive walk-roll-or-run 5K, explore St. David’s campus, including its playgrounds and 2.5 acres of DNR-designated wetlands and forest. Then take part in interactive art, music, energy-boosting activities and close encounters with animals.

SEPT. 29

Twin Cities Harvest Festival and Maze

Get Out and Grow Fall Festival

⊲ Honor the Minnesota Timberwolves by visiting a basketball-themed maze, a corn pit, a straw bale maze, a petting zoo, inflatables, a giant slide and more.

⊲ This 12th-annual celebration of the great outdoors — and the family’s place in it — is open to all ages and abilities.

When: Sept. 29 Where: St. David’s Center for Child and Family Development, Minnetonka Cost: FREE Info: stdavidscenter.org

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• September 2018 7/29/15 57 10:13 AM

FROM OUR READERS

Preemie pride! Babies born early don’t have it easy with health challenges and subsequent weeks (or months) in the NICU. But just look at these little warriors — and how they’re thriving!

↑↑Evelyn, 3 months old, of Golden Valley, born at 35 weeks

↑↑Camilla, at 1 month old, of Brooklyn Park, born at 33 weeks; her twin sister, Maia, passed at 20 weeks

↑↑Roland, 6, of Richfield, born at 29 weeks

↑↑Austin, 14, of Hastings, born at 291/2 weeks

↑↑Nora, 6, of Eagan, born at 34 weeks

↑↑Juliana, 7, and Joshua, 3, of Crystal, born at 34 weeks and 35 weeks

Send photos with your child’s first name, age and city to editor@mnparent.com with subject line #FromOurReaders.

September 2018 • mnparent.com

Get vaccinated today Flu, shingles and pneumonia have serious consequences, but getting vaccinated can help keep you healthy. Most immunizations are available without a prescription.

Talk to your pharmacist today. Vaccines subject to availability. State-, age- and health-related restrictions may apply.