January Issue by Mint Male

MIKE RUIZ

VOLUME TWO ISSUE ONE JANUARY 2010

> MAGNETIC ATTRACTION ABSOLUTION + DESIGN YOUR OWN WORKOUT > ROBERT RODI

CONTENTS

DEAR READER

DIETING 101

ENVIROMINT: JUST SAY NO

5 STEPS TO FRESH SKIN

COCKTAILS OF THE MONTH

ROBERT RODI

QUEER SHORTS

FASHION: MAGNETIC ATTRACTION

MONOGAMY OR NON-MONAGAMY?

MIKE RUIZ: GAY SUPERHERO

MMA: JOIN THE FIGHT

DESIGN YOUR OWN WORKOUT

ABSOLUTION

OP-ED: A FRESH PERSPECTIVE

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

DEAR FELICIA

HOROSCOPES

1 January 2010/ MintMale

CREDITS Director of Graphic Design + Photography /Christina Burton Writer /Coleman Vander Meer Balogh Op-Ed Contributor /Ed Mullen Writer /Eric Green Writer /Gerard McGuiggan Make-up Artist /Heather Bear Editor /Jennifer Schnoes Creative Director + Writer /Joey Grant Publisher + Health Specialist /Joseph R. Yates MD, FACEP Director of Fashion + Stylist /Josh Shores Personal Trainer + Writer /Kevin Purvis BS, CSCS Stylist /Leslie Shores Director of Operations + Writer /Lisa Kimmey Writer + Mental Health Specialist /Michael E. Bricker PhD, LCP Mixologist /Michael Comstock Editor /Neil Bagadiong

January 2010/ MintMale 2

> DEAR READER Dear Reader, Here at Mint Male we are quite excited for a new year and some new upgrades. To start, the incredible Mike Ruiz graces our cover and also gave us a great look into his fantasy world. Ruiz offered up some great tips on how to get a body as hot as his. We are excited to take it to the next level this year, and our hope for a better year is at an all time high. My resolution is to balance my world of work, fitness and organizing. A rule I made a few years back was to strive to be a better person than the year before, to learn from my mistakes and grow into a more positive person. “I want to be more like Julia”, a line from “Julia and Julie”, has stuck in my head. Julia Child never gave up until her dream was fulfilled and that is my goal from now on. We took on a fresh new look and upgraded www.mintmale.com. Now we offer a much more user friendly website with a catalog of all our articles and daily blogging. Enjoy our new features and stay tuned for more this coming year. Sincere wishes to a happy new year, Joey Grant Founder

MintMale strives to keep gay men in mint condition. If you have questions about life, love, or sex that you think might be of interest to our readers, please contact Dr. Michael Bricker, our resident psychologist, at drbricker@mintmale.com. As a new contributor to MintMale, Dr. Bricker aims to integrate his personal experiences as a gay male and professional experiences as a clinical psychologist as he challenges readers to examine subjects that directly affect the mental health and wellness of LGBTQ individuals. Dr. Bricker’s graduate training and professional experience involve extensive work with the LGBTQ population. Dr. Bricker has published and presented nationally on gay issues and continues his active involvement within the community, currently providing psychotherapy to individuals and couples at his private practice in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago.

3 January 2010/ MintMale

+ DIETING 101 By Joseph R Yates MD, FACEP

I’ve realized that I picked up a few unwanted pounds lately, so I decided to go on a diet and share it with you, the readers, as we embark into our new year, full of resolutions we promise ourselves to keep for a whole year. I’ve had great success at shedding pounds with severe limitation of carbohydrate intake, so I looked into that first. I learned that I’m even less alone in this endeavor than I thought. As many as 50% of women and 25% of men (maybe more of gay men) try to lose weight by restricting or changing what they eat for short terms and fad diets. Americans spend $40 billion a year on diets and diet-related products (approximately what the US government spends on education). More than 95% of those people who lose weight, quickly gain it back and more within one to five years. And people who target specific weight goals and become obsessed with pounds and inches are the population from which we get many victims of depression, poor self-image, and the eating disorders, anorexia nervosa, bulimia, and binge-eating habits. We all know fad diets are not good for us. But let me tell you why.

Restricting Intake of Specific Nutrients Restriction diets which limit the intake of specific food groups or over-emphasize others robs the body of essential nutrients. The carbohydrate restriction diets promote a state of ketosis similar to starvation. Energy is generated by the breaking down of lean muscle mass, as well as fat. The muscle mass itself takes time to rebuild after the restrictions are removed. And the muscle mass in your body is a prime factor in your burning of calories. So, returning to the pre-diet food intake adds fat back faster than it would have when you had more muscle tissue. People on restrictive diets don’t concentrate as well, have poorer reaction times, and have less available working memory capacity than people who are not suffering such dietary restrictions. That means going to school or holding a good job are not as easy when you’re on one of these diets. Dieters often don’t get enough calcium, leaving them at risk for osteoporosis, stress fractures, and broken bones. They not only lose muscle strength, but they may lose hair, have weaker nails, become dehydrated, or suffer electrolyte imbalances. Some may end up in the hospital from fainting, weakness, and heart rate disturbances. Calorie Restriction Benefits One study at the Washington University in St. Louis found that having people limit total calorie intake was beneficial to their health. In the first year of reducing calorie intake. The study group consumed 10 to 25% fewer calories than the amount in the average western diet. The study group reduced their Body Mass Index, percentage of body fat, and cholesterol levels in their blood. HDL, the so-called “good” cholesterol increased in the study group. Blood pressure and serum glucose decreased in the study group. Serum indicators of immune response improved in the study group as well. There is even evidence that modest decreases in total calorie intake improve memory and brain function. What To Do Like it or not, it comes down to what I already knew. If I’m not happy with my weight, I need to assess what I’m eating and limit the intake by 10 to 25%. I have to pay attention to the balance in order to get all the nutrients I need to run my body. And I have to go to the gym and maintain an active lifestyle to burn those calories and keep my muscle mass up. And don’t let the crowded gym scare you. After the first couple of weeks in January, the New Years’ resolution people stop showing up. It happens every year. Just make sure you’re not one of those who stop. If I look in the mirror and get disappointed because I don’t have the body of a Calvin Klein model, I need to make some realistic goals. See you in the gym. All Year. January 2010/ MintMale 4

J US T e en c Gr i r E By

SA Y

It’s that time of year again -- the beginning time. And what would a new year be without a resolution? Life just wouldn’t be the same if we had not been ignoring that gym membership we got last January, or not hiding the cigarettes we “weren’t” smoking the year before that. Oh, and that diet? Couldn’t have hid ourselves behind our towels at the beach without it. Resolutions get a bad rap, but this January, MintMale is all about making your New Years resolutions easier to live by and nothing could be easier than not doing something. Therefore, we’re going to encourage you to not do something for the environment. That’s right, we’re going to aid you in making a green resolution to just say no! It doesn’t stop there though. Most resolutions are centered around two things: health and money. If we are going be easy, we might as well be efficient. Most environmentally-sound resolutions combine one or both of these troubling topics to get you more out of every goal you set. So this year, just when you think you have had enough, here are a few things to shout “No!” at:

PLASTIC. By now, you are probably sick from hearing about the environmental hazards of plastic bags, so here is a simple solution: stop using them! Buy some reusable shopping bags and just say no. Plastic bags clog our waters, fill our landfills, and kill our animals. They are difficult to recycle (if your local recycling program even accepts them; Chicago doesn’t) and they don’t biodegrade. Every plastic bag you have ever thrown away still exists out there, even just in fragments, and will be there long after you die. If that “no” wasn’t loud enough for you, try shouting it at PVC. Want to know where to find them? Look around your house. You can find it in your pipes, siding, shower curtains, detergent bottles, squeeze bottles, children’s toys and cling wrap. It’s everywhere and it’s toxic. For some good alternatives, check out: http:// archive.greenpeace.org/toxics/pvcdatabase. Switch to safer products and save your liver and kidneys for other things.

TRASH. Everybody gets so crazy about recycling that they forget about the other two R’s: reduce and reuse. While recycling can be a chore at times, its less out-spoken siblings can save you time and money. Right off the bat you can save both by using the motto “If you don’t need it, don’t buy it”. Of course, wants can become recreational needs but before you spend the cash (or rack up your credit cards) try this easy trick. Hold it for a few minutes and think about the reasons you want it. Then, if you can tear yourself away, put it down and wait thirty days or so. If you still want it after thirty days, by all means, buy it! Most of the time, though, you’ll forget about it and that means it was only destined to be trash or clutter anyway. Both are unwanted. For those things you do buy, consider what can be reused. Almost all plastic and glass food containers can be washed and reused safely. Check the bottom for the ones marked 1, 2, 4 and 5 and you’re in the clear, but stay away from the others. Most of these containers are manufactured with the intention of one time use so replacing them every few months is probably a good idea, but you can sure store a lot of food during that time. Also, try using them in your home and office to clear up clutter. Speaking of clutter, if you have things you want to get rid of, sell them, donate them or offer them up on http://www.freecycle.org/. It feels so much better to know that something you once owned is once again going to good use instead of sitting in our landfills. One other way to get use out of would-be trash is to create something with it. Bottle caps, toilet paper rolls, cereal boxes, books, CDs and many other materials can be used in children’s crafts, decorations, gardening and gifting. Check out http://www.instructables.com/ for some great ideas to start with. Honestly, you’ll be amazed at what you didn’t know you could do with trash. Lastly, never, never, never throw away old electronics. It’s unfortunate that, in an effort to make a profit, most of our electronics are designed to break down and contain some very harmful chemicals. When we throw them out one of three things will happen. They will go to a landfill and slowly poison the ground we grow food in and the water we drink, they will be burned in smelters and poison the air we breath or they will be illegally shipped off to third-world countries where the people there take them apart under horrendous conditions. For a full report on this check out http://www.greenpeace.org/usa/campaigns/toxics/hi-tech-highly-toxic. If you have electronics to get rid of start by looking into http://www. nextworth.com/ where you can trade them in and you may even put some money back into your pocket. Challenge yourself this year and see how often you can say, “No!” to trash.

January 2010/ MintMale 6

TOXINS. Free your mind from the idea that you need a specific cleanser for a specific chore and free your money to be spent on something you want more. There are plenty of easy, safe and household alternatives to buying several different products in order to tackle the dirty chores that come from daily living. And what’s more, many of those products are toxic to you and the world you live in. If the warning label tells you to avoid contact with skin or to clean up immediately upon spilling, there is a good chance it should not be in your home. Drain cleaner is a great example. Chemical drain cleaners are incredibly toxic and they can also damage your pipes, leading to bigger problems in the long run. If you find yourself up against a dreaded clogged drain, try filling the sink or tub with an inch of water and using a plunger. If that does not work, try putting in 4 tablespoons of baking soda followed by a half cup of distilled vinegar. Let it sit, then dump down a kettle of boiling water. More often than not, this will do the trick. While you’re at it, buy some extra baking soda and vinegar. These two products are cheap, easy, versatile and safe. If only everything in our lives were like that. Using 3 parts baking soda and 1 part water, you can make a paste that will clean most anything in the bathroom and kitchen. Simply apply it, let it stand, then scrub or wipe it away. It can also be used to get rid of odors, removes stains, do laundry, clean up grease spills and clean anything from children’s toys to grills. Seriously, Google it. The possibilities seem nearly endless and the same goes for white, distilled vinegar. Use equal parts vinegar, rubbing alcohol and water to make a very effective glass cleaner. Add some lemon to it for a fresh scent or experiment with your favorite scented oils. You can find a wide variety of these oils at your local Whole Foods or holistic shop. One little vile can go a long way. Many other ways of greening up your household chores and saving money can be found at http://planetgreen.discovery. com/home-garden/home-detox.html. It’s amazing how simple and sensible some of these solutions are. It makes you wonder why we aren’t already doing it. If you are still not convinced, some big companies are finally making the switch to Eco-friendly products right now. Take a look at Clorox’s Green Works line. They are on their way to joining the ranks of companies like Seventh Generation and Simple Green who are already making green-cleaning easier everyday.

We hope these suggestions will make your New Year a bit easier and a bit more green. Remember that going green is not just doing what is good for the environment, it is also about doing what is good for you. You are the most important person in your life; make sure you are treating yourself accordingly. You may be surprised how often you find out that what is good for the goose truly is what is good for the gander.

7 January 2010/ MintMale

5 STEPS TO RADIANT FRESH SKIN By Courtney Mettleman

2010 never looked younger... reveal radiant, fresh skin by following these simple 5 steps: 1. Cleanse: choose a hydrating, non-drying cleanser. Stay away from harsh ingredients with detergents. A cleanser should effectively remove impurities without disrupting skin’s natural barrier. Using a good cleanser will discourage blemishes, gently stimulate and energize skin’s radiance. 2: Toner and Aftershave: Toner and aftershave complete the cleansing and shaving process. Your toner and aftershave should balance your skins pH, reduce redness and irritation, and prepare the skin to receive treatment care, leaving skin soft and smooth. Stay away from products containing alcohol. They can be drying and irritating. 3. Moisturize and Protect: Moisturizers can be overwhelming to choose from. You need to go with one specific to your skin type. The perfect moisturizer will restore optimal hydration and comfort, and reduce the appearance of fine lines, leaving your complexion soft, supple and luminescent. Skin types concerned with oil and shine should choose oil-free lotions to keep skin shine-free throughout the day, while drier skin types need richer, more emollient cremes to relieve the discomfort of dryness. Feel the different textures and find one that is suitable for your personal needs. Look for a moisturizer rich in antioxidants which are key to fending off fine lines, and sun protection to strengthen the skin’s defense from environmental aggressors that can result in premature aging. 4. Exfoliate: Exfoliaters polish the skin, smoothing and brightening even the dullest of complexions. Choose an exfoliater with gentle, non-abrasive scrubs (abrasive scrubs can tear at healthy skin cells) and look for natural enzymes that leave healthy skin cells intact. Oily skin types should exfoliate 2 to 3 times per week, while drier skin types should exfoliate 1 to 2 times per week. 5. Eye Treatment: Make sure you specifically target the unique eye area. The under eye area is the first place to show signs of aging. There are many different eye cremes on the market that can do everything from repair and prevent lines and wrinkles to reduce dark circles and puffiness. Find one specific to your concerns and needs.

> My suggested product of the month is Amore Pacific Contour Lift Extreme cremes and serum to give you that “new you” feel. You can view their line of skin care at http:www.amorepacific.com

January 2010/ MintMale 8

BLACKBERRY BELLINI 10 Blackberries 1 Bottle of Champagne/ Sparkling Wine Simple Syrup (Heat equal parts of sugar and water in a sauce pan until sugar dissolves)

> Muddle blackberries and sugar in bowl until liquid

forms. Pour tablespoon of simple syrup in bottom of glass. Scoop a tablespoon of blackberry mixture in flute first then slowly pour in Champagne.

9 January 2010/ MintMale

SPIKED Sâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;MORES 3\4 oz Absolut Vanilla 1\2 oz Baileys Irish Cream 4 oz Hot Chocolate

> Stir and garnish with marshmallows and graham crackers.

January 2010/ MintMale 10

+ ROBERT RODI

> IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN'T DO? By Lisa Kimmey

When he’s not writing a novel, working with Marvel Comics, or taking an impressive second place in a karaoke competition in Sienna, Italy, you might find Robert Rodi playing with his nine man band. A born and raised Chicagoan, Robert still resides in Chicago today in a century-old Victorian house he moved into on Halloween 12 years ago with his partner of 21 years, Jeffery Smith, and their three dogs. Robert Rodi, born in 1956, is quite the renaissance man. By the early nineties, Robert had written two fiction novels, and his third, Fag Hag, was published in 1991. Robert’s enticing plots and remarkable attention to detail make it pretty difficult to put his books down before you reach the last page. By 1997, he had also written Closet Case, What They Did to Princess Paragon, Drag Queen, and Kept Boy, followed by Bitch Goddess in 2002 and When You Were Me in 2007.

< Cover of Dogged Pursuit released in 2009.

Robert has created numerous comic book series, including Codename: Knockout, The Crossovers, and Four Horsemen. Some of his shorter fiction pieces can be found in such anthologies as Sandman: Book of Dreams, Men on Men 5, and His. His literary criticism has surfaced in The Chicago Tribune, The Harvard Gay and Lesbian Review, The Los Angeles Times, and NewCity. Robert’s newest book, Dogged Pursuit: My Year of Competing Dusty, the World’s Least Likely Agility Dog, is his first non-fiction book. His “re-branding” from a fiction writer to a 11 January 2010/ MintMale

Cover of When You Were Me released in 2007.

non-fiction writer could not have been a smoother transition. Dogged Pursuit has gotten excellent reviews and has been very well received by his fans. The creation of the book, in his words, forced him to get out of the house with his dog and meet a great deal of people that he wouldn’t have otherwise. The synopsis: “Best in Show meets Marley and Me in the hilarious (mis)adventures of an unlikely duo competing for glory on the pro dog circuit” An urban intellectual and a scruffy, disobedient Sheltie team up to conquer the Canine Agility pro-circuit in this hysterical account of the quest for glory in the competitive dog world. A cousin to the popular best-in-breed show, agility competitions resemble doggy boot camp: dogs scamper across teetertotters, jump tires, and scoot down tunnels, without leashed guidance from a human. Taking home ribbons requires a focused handler and a cooperative dog. Robert is a self-proclaimed Bluestater who prefers fine wine and Italian literature (in Italian) to SUVs and suburban sprawl. His dog Dusty’s scrawny build and skittish personality makes him an unnatural competitor. Nevertheless, he recounts a year filled with victories, failures, and hysterical personalities, and the loving bond between one man and his bug-eyed dog.” Recently, Robert has been spending a lot of time in Sienna, and plans to spend even more time there in 2010. Robert’s fascination with Sienna grows with each visit. Not only is he an American attempting to become a recognized regular in an Italian city, he is also the only gay man he’s come across in Sienna. He’ll be planning at least four more trips there in the next year and has found his previous experiences there to be life changing and have made him a better person. What amazes me to no end about

Robert is his way of dropping himself into the heart of a culture that he’s never been a part of and staying there until he actually is a part of it. Whether it be in the midst of a group of “dog people” competing against one another, at a horse race in Sienna talking to the oldest person he can find in the bar (whose language he may not completely understand), or in a local Chicago pub with yours truly, he can walk into any situation and make the room his own. Upon meeting Robert, you may not know right off the bat that he is the successful novelist, performance artist, blogger, comic book writer, and vocalist that he is. His demeanor is casual and comforting, and within about 5 minutes of meeting him you realize that if he’d let you, you would happily spend the rest of your night conversing with him, as well as every night after that. Robert is passionate about his work and has wanted to be a writer for the entirety of his existence. The quality of his work leaves me knowing that there’s no doubt he’s been doing it his entire life. Dawn Powell is Robert’s inspiration as an author, and the type of writer he aspires to become. Tom Sharp is also up there on his list. Robert’s style of writing reflects the type of person that he is and the things that stimulate him. He explained to me, “People like to read stories that relate to their own lives.” Hence, you’ll find quite a bit of things that relate to being gay, living in Chicago, and a love of dogs in most of his works. Robert loves the tone of British literature for its capability to be “scathingly unsentimental” and “bleakly common.” In his own work, he tends to shoot for more of a happy ending. It’s just in his blood. Robert Rodi’s magnetic personality and infallible way with words have made him one of the most aberrant and marvelous novelists of our time. If you haven’t experienced his work yet, read Dogged Pursuit: My Year of Competing Dusty, the World’s Least Likely Agility Dog and I guarantee you’ll find yourself wanting more

from him. If you don’t believe me, I’ll share some other opinions with you. “DOGGED PURSUIT is filled with wit and humor. Neither Dusty nor Robert are sure if they’re going to make it in the strange world of agility. But, like all great dogs, Dusty brings the best out in his human partner...lots of fun!” -Greg Kincaid, The author of the New York Times Best Seller, A Dog Named Christmas. “The most difficult “agility circuit” in this book is the hilarious and twisting road upon which Robert Rodi has embarked in his determination to train a recalcitrant Sheltie. It’s one of the funniest books I’ve read in a long time. But then, to a dog, it’s probably seven times funnier.” -Cathie Pelletier, author of The Funeral Makers and Running the Bulls” “Hilarious and heartwarming ... a trackand-field cousin to Marley and Me.” -Augusten Burroughs, author of Running With Scissors Luckily for you, Robert has created quite the library for you to turn to when you finish Dogged Pursuit and seek more entertainment from him. But don’t you worry, he’s far from finished with his career. So what can we expect to see from Robert in the future? A lot.

> For the time being you can find more information on him and enjoy more of his work in a couple of places: http://www.robertrodi.com/ http://us.penguingroup.com/static/ html/blogs/guest-author/doggedpursuit-robert-rodi http://www.crisperanto.org/memories/ rodi.html http://bitchinabonnet.blogspot. com/2009_07_01_archive.html http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ robert-rodi/booty-recall-withtyphani_b_291282.html

January 2010/ MintMale 12

QUEER SHORTS By Joey Grant

13 January 2010/ MintMale

MamSir Productions, Moving Train Media and Actor Slash Model presents “Queer Shorts”, a quarterly short film screening. This January 14th, join them at Berlin to premiere their next series of Queer based short films. While you enjoy these innovative and modern films, a live feed will be simultaneously streaming at a venue in Brooklyn. This group of creative folks were also awarded the Audience Award: Best Documentary Feature at the Chicago Reeling Lesbian & Gay International Film Festival 2009 for their first full feature “Riot Acts: Flaunting Gender Deviance in Music Performance’”. The film, described as a trans-fabulous rockumentary, features Queer musicians from all across North America. The film portrays these individuals as creative, happy and successful people who are trans and of gender variant identities. “Riot Acts” is here to show the world that Queers are not a tragedy, but a thriving and important part of modern day society. It’s an attempt to break the walls of division, and show that gender, sexuality, race, creed, or any label for that matter does not change that we are all essentially the same. “Riot Acts” gives us a valid perspective through the eyes of those who are living the lifestyle. They defy the old and tired stereotypes of transgendered people and queers in mainstream media, and bring new life to the ever evolving struggle for recognition.

January 2010/ MintMale 14

MAG AT TR

TI C AC T I O N Photographrapher/ Christina Burton Fashion Editor/ Josh Shores Model/ Corbett Packard

+ Corbett Wears

Hat /Clothes Optional Pants + Sweater /Dovetail

17 January 2010/ MintMale

+ Corbett Wears

Bowtie /Dovetail Tuxedo Jacket + Shirt /Dovetail Jeans /Buffalo Exchange Shoes /Vintage

January 2010/ MintMale 18

+ Corbett Wears

Shirt /Clothing Optional Corduroy Pants /Buffalo Exchange Shoes /Modelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Own Helmet /Vintage

19 January 2010/ MintMale

+ Corbett Wears

Sweater /Buffalo Exchange Dress Shirt /Clothing Optional Pants + Hat /Clothing Optional

January 2010/ MintMale 20

+ Corbett Wears

Hat /Dovetail Shirt + Cardigan /Buffalo Exchange Pants /Clothing Optional

21 January 2010/ MintMale

Corbett Wears Hat /Dovetail Shirt + Jacket /Buffalo Exchange Jeans /Buffalo Exchange

January 2010/ MintMale 22

+ Corbett Wears

Mask /Vintage Nickelodeon Jacket /Vintage Underwear /Diesel NES Zapper /Vintage

23 January 2010/ MintMale

ADVERTISE WITH MINT MALE. 1) Our publication is on the Internet. This means our readership is endless, and can expand locally and around the globe. There is no better way to represent your brand than to do it globally. 2) Your published advertisements will remain in our archived copies of the magazine, and can have repeat readership throughout the year, thus making your ad impressions greater. 3) Our concept is fresh and exciting. There are few magazines aimed at gay men that capture them through the multifaceted approach that we have made through our magazine. We are covering a wide range of subject matter, including politics, fashion, fitness, food, drinks, traveling and much more. You are reaching an audience that has eclectic tastes and interests.

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MONOGAMY OR + NON-MONOGAMY?

» THE ELEPHANT IN THE BEDROOM

By, Michael E. Bricker, PhD, LCP

few questions I often hear from coupled gay men are, “Is it normal to be attracted to (or want to be with) other people and still love my partner, or is this a sign that something’s wrong?” and “What do I do with these feelings?”

feels. This may lead us to avoid the conversation because of our worries about ‘worst-case scenarios’, which are important to consider (and which may lead us to enlist the help of a therapist, should we need assistance).

But have we considered what the best-case scenarios might be? A better sex life? Greater openness and trust that comes from sharing difficult emotions? Finding ways to get our needs met while strengthening our bond together? Discussing our If we attempt to make sense of these feelings by borrowing a attraction toward others can offer us opportunities to learn more page from heterosexual society, we’re likely to feel quite worried. about what we enjoy sexually, what is stimulating to us, and in According to what we’re taught about opposite-sex relationships, what ways we might be more fulfilled. Often, our partners may we should always feel passionately in (lust) with our partner and be having such feelings too, and it can feel relieving to recognize should see straying eyes as a sign of big trouble. On the opposite that we aren’t alone. Regardless of what is done with the side of the spectrum, gay culture seems to offer a caricature of gay feelings (and whether couples decide to remain sexually and men as hyper-sexual and hedonistic, and implies that “openness” is emotionally exclusive or not), broaching the subject can help inevitable in long-term gay male relationships (although they never really tell us what this means). But, does any of this really fit for us (or partners realize that the relationship is capable of weathering for heterosexuals for that matter)? And, do we ever stop to question difficult discussions and may help lay the groundwork for them to feel safe enough to share tricky emotions in the future as well. these assumptions? The answer? It depends.

It seems we arrive at these feelings for many different reasons, and to really know where to go next requires that we understand something about where they are coming from. Recognizing that we carry preconceived notions about relationships can be a start. We may believe that a healthy relationship requires monogamy or, on the other hand, feel that we will not be able to keep a partner if we aren’t willing to have an open relationship. We may find ourselves feeling increasingly apathetic about the relationship and fearful about what to do, and may see non-monogamy as a way to ease out of the relationship. We can also have sexual needs that are unfulfilled by our partner and struggle to reconcile with this. Ultimately, knowing our motives behind our feelings can be integral to making choices about monogamy and non-monogamy that are ultimately fulfilling.

We can also feel concerned that talking about this means we must agree to one of two options; however, the terms “monogamy” and “non-monogamy” often trivialize the complexity and emotional maturity involved in negotiating such agreements with a partner. These categories, too, fail to offer us any indication of the diverse options available to partners in deciding what might work for their relationship. For example, some coupled men have strict rules about keeping sex and emotional attraction between themselves while others may “play”, as long as this is done together. Other partnered gay men see the emotional connection as central and allow open sexual contact as long as this emotional boundary isn’t crossed or they may set limits and parameters about the type and amount of contact that is allowed.

One of the scariest things for us can be to acknowledge these feelings openly to ourselves and to our partner. Such conversations can feel threatening and can stir fears in us and our partner about the security of the relationship’s future. One way that individuals in our society show our bonds and commitment is through sexual and emotional fidelity, and it is likely that discussion about desire and attraction to others can inadvertently convey rejection to our partner if not done carefully. Such a topic may also stir anger arising out of fears about losing the relationship or feeling invalidated. It may also unintentionally bring up aspects of unhappiness each partner

It’s not easy to decide when, how, and if we choose to share our feelings with our partner; however, research suggests that both monogamous and non-monogamous coupled gay men can be sexually and relationally satisfied. Furthermore, studies indicate that those couples who have the best outcomes are ones that are honest with one another and openly discuss and negotiate an ongoing understanding of what works for them. While it can be scary and tough, being honest about how we feel may, ultimately, does much to help us recognize what we are needing to feel truly satisfied and secure in our relationship. January 2010/ MintMale 26

MIKE RUIZ [

GAY SUPERHERO

]

MIKE RUIZ: GAY SUPERHERO By, Joey Grant

ike Ruiz, a muscled photographer, director, and gay superhero that has become a must have in the world of celebrities. Mike migrated from Toronto, Canada, to Los Angeles to expand his work in modeling and dip his feet into the acting industry. Acting was not originally his passion, but one Christmas, at the age of 28, he was gifted a camera. Mike was enamored and obsessed with taking pictures of just about anything. He toted his camera to all of his shoots all over the world and started taking his own photos on sets. Agents started requesting these outtakes for the models books in addition to having Ruiz shoot some on his own. Mike soon realized he could turn his photography into a more serious job. On a trip to London, Mike was staring at a newsstand and decided to contact every magazine that appealed to him. “Most of them hung up on me, of course, but a couple of them responded, and I ended up shooting a couple of editorials.” He even surprised himself at just how easy this was. When returning to L.A. with new found confidence, he began his photography career. It started with a ridiculous lie he told to Traci Lourds’ management about doing a huge photo shoot for some magazine. They totally bought it and allowed Mike to have his first professional shoot. This fearless man continued to seek out new subjects and expand his portfolio in unconventional manner. Mike started using the gym not only has a place to workout, but

to scout out celebrities. Mike bluntly asked these famous gym members, recalling this time “I didn’t seem like a sociopath, a couple of them were receptive. They weren’t major celebrities, but I was nervous as hell asking them.” He always had a eye to find the fantasy in subjects and give them a look that they never saw before. His raw talent and fresh view propelled him into the much famous photographer he is today. Mike has been called the “Go to Gay” by some of Hollywood’s biggest names. When referring to his sexuality affecting his work, Mike says “I think its a gay thing. You know how gay men tend to put women on a pedestal like their mom and then they tend to objectify other men” then he continues “I noticed in my work I make all my woman subjects super powerful and authoritative in their images, and then the men I don’t demean them or victimize but I do objectify them. I get turned on by guys and that’s what inspires me to shoot them.” Mike’s demeanour is very friendly, and he never had a tone of pretentiousness during my time with him. He rather have “gay” not even be a label, but just be a fellow human; however, he does point out that “We’re not like some cult, some left wing deviant group. This country is practically ran by us- I mean we run the media, everything is ran by us. Just suck it up middle America and live with it!” When asked on advice for young, aspiring entrepreneurs he left a simple answer, “To not let fear keep you from anything.” Mike didn’t

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Pictured with Mike: (left) Kathy Griffin (Right) Vanessa Williams

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â&#x20AC;&#x153;I want to continue to be a decent guy, honest at the end of the day. Above and beyond anything else, I want to aspire to be a decent human being that is not a total douchebagâ&#x20AC;?

Photos taken by Mike Ruiz: (left) Kathy Griffin (right) Brooke Shields

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let fear stop him from approaching people, cold calling managers, and just about diving into any situation. He didn’t let fear stop him from directing films even though he was originally weary of the opportunity. He decided, “Fuck it, I’ll figure it out.” Figure it out he did, and he directed the film “Starrbooty,” starring RuPaul, which was a film festival favorite of 2007. Mike has also directed music videos with Christine W, Traci Lourds, and new pop sensation Shontelle. Ruiz loves doing films but his heart and passion still is in photography. He explained to me, “I love shooting and instant gratification. Again, with that being said, I do love film making. I am not a film maker deep down in my soul, and you have to be. There is so much sacrifice to succeed in film making.” One of his favorite subjects is Kathy Griffin, “I just love her energy. She is so warm and generous and great in front of the camera.” Recently, Mike worked with Brooke Shields and felt like his fantasy was coming to fruition, recalling a poster of Brooke and Christopher Atkins from “The Blue Lagoon” he had hanging in his childhood bedroom. Amongst many others, Mike has worked with such a wide variety of musicians, actors, and models, and we will see much more to come. Mike has been compared to superheroes because his perfect physique shares some insight on how to attain such a body. He surprisingly struggled with his weight at a young age and much into his twenties. He explained, during his modeling years, “I wasn’t informed enough to make the right decisions and all I would do was starve myself, and it’s so bad for your metabolism.” He never suffered any major health problems, but learned to regulate his eating and take care of himself in a healthier manner. Mike said his overall health secret is “stabilizing To view more of Mike’s work and upcoming projects he will be working on go to http://www.mikeruiz.com

your blood sugar- it’s a key to my general health.” He never starts the day off with a sugary cereal which, he explained, “Spikes your blood sugar, which can result in overeating, storing fat and leaving you too tired for the whole day.” A strict regiment on natural vegetable and lean proteins keep this man in tip top shape. Other than limiting his sugar intake, he also gave up gluten. For years, Mike thought he was lactose intolerant, but found the culprit was instead gluten. Now he can enjoy all the dairy he chooses. He spends a lot of time wining and dining his famous clientele and still stays true to his rules. He finds the healthiest option on the menu and will customize when necessary. His health and fitness has become an extension of his creative output. “I have turned art back onto myself,” Mike explained in regards to sculpting his body to look a certain way. He has a definite appreciate of the male physique which he mirrors onto himself. Beyond the value of ascetics, his fitness plan is to help stabilize moods, reduce stress, and keep he must need energy up Being healthy and physically fit is paramount to him, and is why he has allowed it to consume his life. He always makes time no matter how busy he day may be and always keeps up with his diet. Mike has basically made fitness and health his lifestyle and he is deeply passionate about it. Mike doesn’t overwhelm himself 300 resolutions on one day, but spends the whole year resolving and improving. “I want to continue to be a decent guy, honest at the end of the day. Above and beyond anything else, I just want to be aspire to be a decent human being that is not a total douchebag”. There’s allot to expect from him this year including alot of time of T.V. So look forward to guest appearance on Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D List, America’s Top Model, and even maybe some reality show based on Mike Ruiz himself.

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JOIN THE FIGHT By Kevin Purvis, BS, CSCS

By now you’ve undoubtedly (hopefully) become aware of the sport known as Mixed-Martial Arts, at least on some level. Many people refer to it as “cage-fighting” or “ultimate fighting”, getting the latter name from the organization that brought the sport to its current state of popularity. In fact, Mixed-Martial Arts (or MMA) is one of the fastest growing spectator sports in the US. The sport is a blend of several different styles, including Muay Thai, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) and Boxing. There is a combination of stand-up fighting and grappling, which resembles wrestling. I’ve been involved with MMA for almost 3 years now and my involvement in the sport has raised more than a few eyebrows among my friends. Their reactions range from disdain and confusion to genuine interest. This month, I wanted to give a little insight into the sport, why I and other gay men are growing in number within the sport…and how you can join in on the fun.

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> The Draw of the Fight I’ve spent a lot of time in endurance sports, mainly triathlons with a few marathons and cross-state bike rides thrown in and after years of this I was looking for a new challenge. I briefly boxed with a group of guys in college and remembered how intense the workouts were, so fighting seemed like a natural place to return. MMA fights were growing in popularity on TV, so I searched out a fight school that could show me where to begin. My first fight school was literally on the other side of the tracks. In a rundown building with no air-conditioning, I spent four sweltering, Florida summer nights a week learning the basics. The guys I fought with sometimes used some questionable moves, but I appreciated that they didn’t take it easy on me. No one ever asked if I was gay, but then no one seemed to care either. I came in with a respectful, humble attitude and they respected me in return. I was a hard worker and a quick learner, which also seemed to help. What I found out in the meantime is that I was actually pretty good. I could actually hold my own with most of those guys. I took a short break from fighting while I was in massage school, mainly because I was worried about injuring my hands, but soon after I finished with massage school, the call of the fight was too much to resist. I fell in with a new group of fighters at a new fight school and a whole new style of learning. This school was clean and airconditioned and the guys I fought with were some of the nicest and most talented fighters I had ever met. Again, the topic of sexuality didn’t come up since we were all there to train hard. I’m sure they eventually figured out that I’m gay, but like before, no one seemed to care as

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long I was worked hard and kept a good attitude. The big sin in the fight schools, I’ve found, is a lack of humility, followed closely by laziness. There is definitely a lot of camaraderie among the guys at the fight schools I’ve attended; going to tournaments and watching pay-perview fights are a regular event. My sparring partner and I are still very close and train together whenever we’re in the same city. Since moving to Chicago, I’d kept an eye out for a fight school to join. As luck would have it, an LA Boxing fight school opened up right across the street from my work just a few months ago and I knew that I had to join. This time, I decided to hire a fight coach. They offer a lot of group classes at the LA Boxing with some great MMA instruction, but I wanted to get some personal training to really improve my knowledge base while using the group classes as a supplement to my training. I meet with my coach once a week and during that time we spend the first 20 minutes or so working on cardiovascular conditioning (important during fights where each round lasts 5 minutes). After that, we work a while on the stand-up game (punching and kicking) then we finish up by practicing rolling (it’s important to learn how to fall), and grappling (learning arms bars and choke holds). My coach always gives me homework, which I practice when I’m not with him. There is so much to learn that it takes years to become even slightly proficient at the sport. This is actually a great draw for me, as I am constantly challenged by learning new moves. As one of the gay fighters I spoke with when putting the article together said “Monday-Chest, Tuesday-Back, ugh…how long can you keep doing that?”

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> Meditation in the Fight MMA training is the most grueling type of training I have endured. You use every muscle in your body. Some mornings I wake up feeling as though I’ve been in a car wreck. However, I’ve never felt more physically fit and well-rounded. It’s empowering and a confidence builder. To me, it is a form of meditation. When I’m fighting, nothing else matters; no relationship issues, no bills that need to be paid, no trouble at work even crosses my mind. I am so singularly focused on the fight that there is no space for other worries. This type of fighting is so strategic that it is considered ‘the chess of martial arts’. One word of caution: don’t take fighting personally. The idea is to stay emotionally unattached to being hit or challenged by your sparring partner. I learned this lesson the hard way when I dislocated my shoulder on the side of someones head…I let the anger and frustration get to me.

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> Finding the Fight With the popularity of fighting continuing to grow, fight schools are becoming easier and easier to find as well. When you check them out, find one that looks clean and talk to the employees to see if you get a good feeling from them. Make sure you ask what classes they offer and what equipment you’ll need. The more involved you become, the more equipment that you’ll be required to bring. If you join, make sure the classes fit your schedule and that you allow extra time to get your wrist wraps on before class and cleaned up after class. You should expect to be sweaty and exhausted when you’re finished with classes, so pack some clean clothes to go home in. Make sure you pace yourself through the first couple of classes, but after that, push yourself as hard as you can to get the most results. I would also set aside some time to practice what you’ve learned in class as this helps the learning curve tremendously. I’m not saying that fighting MMA is for everyone; I just want to encourage you to try it if you’re interested. The training is tough, the guys are largely nonhomophobic and the results can be life-changing. January 2010/ MintMale 44

OWN + DESIGN YOUR WORKOUT By, Kevin Purvis, BS, CSCS

I’ve been watching guys wander around aimlessly from machine-to-machine for more years than I care to say. I get it; it’s a struggle in itself just to get yourself to the gym, much less worry about program design once you’re there. But this aimless wandering is more than likely not getting you results you want to see because having a lack of direction almost ensures that you are not pursuing regular progression. What if I could offer you an easy solution? Sure, it’ll still take some thought and preparation, but once you get the hang of program design you’ll be able to throw together a full-body, intense workout in just a matter of minutes. The fun part will be finding new exercises to put into your program each time. About once a month I go through a program with my clients that I call ‘suicides’. The name comes from the high school basketball suicide drills that coaches have been making teenagers do for years. When doing suicide drills, you run from the base line to the free throw line and back, then to half-court and back, then to the other free throw line and back, and then full court and back. We used to have to do 20 suicides in 20 minutes. You can test yourself if you’re wanting to try it. You’ll understand the correlation of the name once I explain the structure of the strength-training program a little better. Each month the suicide workout that I do with my clients consists of different exercises, but the structure of the program remains the same. My clients usually cringe whenever I tell them it’s suicide day and some have joked about running away, but lately several of them have been coming into their session with a proud smile because they’ve done a suicide workout on their own. It’s one of the easiest ways to design a complete program that will give you the challenge your body needs to see the results that you want. Let me break it down for you here: Your very first step is to pick 6 exercises. I suggest that you make each of the 6 exercises a different body part (biceps, triceps, shoulders, back, abdomen, legs, etc.), but you can choose several for the same body part if you’re wanting to emphasize that body part during the workout. Also, when choosing the exercises, it’s best to think about

what equipment you’ll need. Dumbbells and medicine balls are portable, but cables and machines are going to be harder to work with if the gym is busy. You’ll need the equipment you choose for the better part of an hour, so be considerate of others if you’re not working out at home. Number the exercises 1-6. You’ll be doing 10 reps of each exercise. If the exercise is one that alternates sides, do 10 reps on each side. Don’t be lazy! Here’s how the workout goes: Do 10 reps of exercise 1 then rest. Do 10 reps of exercise 1 then 10 reps of exercise 2 then rest. 1, 2, 3, rest. Continue this until you perform exercises 1-6 without rest. The next step is to reverse the order. Now you will take out an exercise each round. This will keep the total amount of reps performed consistent. Do exercises 6-1 then rest. Next you will do exercises 6-2 then exercises 6-3, etc. The total repetition volume of this workout is considerably high. For example, if you choose push-ups as one of your exercises...you’ll have done 70 push-ups by the end. If you do forward lunges, you’ll have performed 140 total lunges (70 per leg). Don’t be intimidated by this, though; you’ll surprise yourself with the number of reps you can do when you break up the sets as you do in this program. You’ll be doing 7 sets of each exercise. I’m hesitant to give you sample program, as I want you to be creative. But I also want you to grasp the concept of the program design, so here you go: 1. Push-ups 2. Squats 3. Dumbbell Shoulder Press 4. Bicep Curls 5. Tricep Extensions 6. Crunches January 2010/ MintMale 46

ABSOLUTION By Kevin Purvis, BS, CSCS

Ah, the elusive 6-pack. It is pretty much the Holy Grail of the fitness community. With so many different ads and infomercials promising to help you reach this peak, how could you possibly know what is right and what is bunk? I feel like that majority of guys in the gym know the basics about abs. Crunches, leg raises, etc. You know what to do for the most part, but you may have questions such as to how often, how many, etc. Since you’ve finished the pre-requisite class of Abs 101, let me take you to the next level and teach you what you really need to know if you’re ever going to get the washboard abs that you’ve always wanted. I need to be honest here before I get started. The secret to a beautiful mid-section has a lot to do with nutrition. There are people I see in the gym that have abs that are much stronger than mine, but you can’t see them because they’re covered over with fat. Get your body composition to a better place, use the information I give you here to build muscle and your abs will pop!

> Rectus Abdominis, Internal and External Obliques, and Transversus Abdominis There are several different muscles that make up your abs, and each help us move in a different way. Running straight down the middle, from your ribcage to your pubic bone is Rectus Abdominis (RA). This muscle gets the most attention because it’s what you see on the guys that have a 6 (or sometimes 8)-pack. Its action brings your ribcage down to your hipbone. Internal and External Obliques (IEO) run in a criss-cross pattern across your midsection and are mainly responsible for rotation and lateral flexion (think side-bends) of your torso. Underneath RA and IEO is the Transversus Abdominis or the TVA. Think of this muscle as your internal weight belt, as it has the ability to cinch your midsection in and protect your lower back from injury. I’ll be writing more in the future about TVA activation, as it is an important to learn how to engage this muscle for core strength and lower-back health.

> Muscle Fiber Make-up One of the most important things I can teach you about your abs has to do with the muscle fibers. You abdominal muscles are made predominately of fast-twitch muscle fibers. This means that they are meant to produce short bursts of power for the most part. Slow-twitch muscle fibers are for endurance. In short, you will be doing yourself a much better service by increasing the weight on an abdominal exercise and reducing the number of repetitions. Stop doing hundreds of crunches. If you want to build endurance in your abs, go for a long run. For strength and power, grab a 20 or 30-pound dumbbell, hold it on the end-caps and put it on your chest just underneath your chin. Keep your chin tucked into the dumbbell while you’re performing your crunches. You should fatigue at about the 10th or 12th crunch. Do 3 sets.

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> Range of Motion (ROM) Have you ever wondered what the advantage of using a stability ball for crunches is? Well, with 45-degrees of extension available to you in your Rectus Abdominis, doing crunches on a flat surface is kind of like doing half a bicep curl. Your muscles are very specific in the way that they adapt, so limiting your range of motion will limit the amount of strength youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re building. The stability ball should make contact with the top of your hips and the bottom of your shoulder blades. A crunch should bring the bottom of your ribcage to the top of your hipbones.

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> Putting it All Together When choosing your ab exercises on any given day, try thinking about the actions of the muscles that I spoke of. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll want some crunches, some type of rotation, and maybe some planks for core stabilization. Oh, and make sure to give your muscles a couple of recovery days to rebuild before breaking them down again. Summer will be here before you know it, so letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s get cracking on those abs!

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> A FRESH

PERSPECTIVE

By, Ed Mullen

My motivation to run as an openly gay candidate for State Representative dates back to 2008, when I was a campaign volunteer on the night Barack Obama was elected President of the United States. I was working on the Voter Protection Team, ensuring that people who had the right to vote could exercise that right. When we learned that Barack Obama had been elected, the crowd was elated. People, including me, cheered, hugged and cried. But later that night, my elation turned to crushing disappointment. I learned that California voted in favor of Proposition 8, which wrote discrimination against the LGBT community into the State Constitution. As I looked around the room, many of my friends and acquaintances continued to celebrate President Obama’s victory, but I felt alone and left behind. In the intervening years, the marriage equality movement has reached new highs in places like Iowa, Connecticut and New Hampshire. But we have also suffered defeats in places like Maine and New York. On the federal level, the Defense of Marriage Act is still the law of the land, supported by the Obama Justice Department, sometimes with very insulting and hurtful language, despite President Obama’s comments in opposition to DOMA. While we have come far and demographic trends suggest we are likely to achieve marriage equality within a generation or so, we have a long way to go. The experience of our community with straight “allies” has convinced me that we need to elect more openly gay officials at all levels of government. We may be invited to parties and mentioned

in speeches, but we are still subject to DOMA, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and other discriminatory laws and policies. This will not change until we demand equality and take it for ourselves. It is much more difficult for legislators to vote against LGBT equality when they have openly gay colleagues sitting across the aisle. Openly gay elected officials are also less likely to say “maybe next year” when it comes to LGBT issues or desert the LGBT community when times get tough. I am running as an openly gay candidate for State Representative because I believe that my District yearns for a progressive and independent Democrat who will provide new leadership in Springfield. The current political establishment has not only failed its LGBT constituents, but all people. It has failed in creating jobs, educating our children, and providing adequate and affordable health care. This year, however, we have a unique and important opportunity, when a large number of House seats are open, to elect a new breed of leadership with a fresh perspective. I am heartened by the large number of openly gay candidates who will be on the ballot in Illinois this year. Openly gay candidates are running for State Representative, State Senate, Commissioner of the Water Reclamation District, trial and appellate court judge, and even for the U.S. Senate. We have an opportunity this year to double the number of openly gay elected officials in the Illinois House. It is an opportunity our community should be very excited about and take very seriously.

It is difficult to run a political campaign in the best of circumstances, but we face many obstacles in Illinois. The electoral system is set up to help incumbents and candidates from inside the political establishment. Openly gay candidates are often outsiders with a wealth of experience, but lacking the insider connections that other candidates have. As a community, we must come together to support these candidates, because when they win, we all win. A small minority of people actually vote in primaries, and even fewer get involved in a campaign by donating or volunteering. The fact that so few people get involved and vote means that the influence of those who do get involved is heightened. That is an opportunity for the LGBT community to maximize its electoral power. Campaign volunteers knock on doors and call voters to get the word out; they help out administratively in the office and they help plan and execute campaign events, all of which can be fun and rewarding. Those of us who are openly gay and running for public office work long hours, face rejection, and put ourselves on the line for the LGBT community. Will you help us with your time and money? When we achieve full equality, you will know that you were a part of the struggle.

> For more information on Ed Mullen visit: http://www.voteedmullen.com January 2010/ MintMale 54

>SYDNEY AUSTRALIA By Coleman Vander Meer Balogh

Sydney, Australia, is certainly one of the most gay friendly cities in the world, and not only does it stand as a stylish city, rich with culture, but also a hub for all the exciting and adventurous activities that Australia has to offer. It has been hailed as the gay Mecca of Oceania, and for good reason. With a plethora of beaches, parks, museums and nightlife, Syndey stands out as our real world version of the Emerald City in “Oz”. Emerging from Western society’s colonization in the 18th century, Australia, by nature, is a culture not too different from our own. Sort of a mirror version of our own, similar but slightly unusual. Affectionately referred to as “Oz” today, Australia as a generalized people are very welcoming, humble and to the point. They enjoy a good laugh over a good drink, and perhaps that’s what lends to the friendly environment of Sydney’s gay scene. Gay Sydney is full of men and women that genuinely seem interested in the American visitor, and all greet you with that sexy accent. If there are any unfriendly Aussies out there, you probably won’t even notice, as the others will be sure to give you plenty of attention. Sydney’s different neighborhoods are as diverse as its people, so naturally the gay traveler has a variety of options depending on what exactly you’re looking for. Oxford Street in Darlinghurst is host to the gay district and so it is your typical first choice. Its gay friendly store fronts are close to the harbor either by foot or by taxi, and this area hosts all the worthwhile bars that usually are on the agenda, as well as laying claim to the world famous Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. Accommodations in this area will be moderately budgeted and usually housed in smaller establishments. Your gay aficionado might want to book a fancier room closer to the inner harbor, while the budget conscious traveler might consider King’s 55 January 2010/ MintMale

Cross, which is a stones throw away from Oxford Street. King’s Cross, the typical young back-packer’s first choice, offers a much wider selection of affordable rooms (that’s if you don’t mind the occasional strip club and sex shop on your daily walkabout). It is certainly the most exciting neighborhood around town as there always seems to be something happening, but you might want to keep an extra eye out for your well being. Either way, I suggest checking online to get a confirmation of room rates and bookings via email before arriving in Sydney. Once you have your home base, you get to choose from the plethora of activities Sydney has to offer. I enjoy both culturally inspired and outdoor based activities, so I recommend that you mix it up. If you’re dying to scope some of that world famous Aussie bum, head right to Bondi Beach, 10 minutes directly east of Sydney. You’re

guaranteed to see plenty of sights. However, I highly recommend a walkabout the Sydney Opera House and the Royal Botanical Gardens, situated right next to the scenic Sydney Harbor. For art aficionados, don’t miss the Art Gallery of New South Whales which has an amazing (free!) collection of contemporary Australian art. Downtown, visit the beautiful Hyde Park and the best shopping in the city. Or you could crash Chinatown and ponder the Chinese Friendship Garden while enjoying a cup of tea at the traditional tea house. Basically, all of these sights are within two miles of each other. You could easily spend a couple of days enjoying all that downtown Sydney has to offer. For food, you’re selection reflects the diversity of cultures located in Sydney. There’s Asian, Middle Eastern, European and classic fare all for a variety of budgets. Take your pick!

This leads us to nightlife. The gay night scene really depends on your preference. If you’re looking for some heavy clubbing, stop by Arq and Phoenix. For a still very much upbeat, but less of a club atmosphere, try the Stonewall Hotel or The Colombian, and for the low key folks, try some of the late hour cafes that line Oxford street. You could always spend a night at the humongous Blue Star Casino or one of the other thousands of downtown bars located in Sydney. If you’re looking for a party, there’s always one burning, which is one of the best things about Sydney. For the more adventurous, Sydney stands as a platform for a plethora of outdoor activities. Whether your looking to spend just the day out of the city or an entire week, there are sailing trips directly out of the harbor, bush walking in the nearby blue mountains and excursions to the not too far beaches along Australia’s beautiful eastern coast. Simply ask your hotel or one of the nearby booking agencies to find the tour right for you. Another recommendation would be visiting some other major gay ports of call around Australia. Melbourne stands as a major cultural hub to the south for music, film and the arts, and the Gold Coast and Cairns stand as the gateways to the Great Barrier Reef to the North. Whether Sydney is just a point along the way, or the only destination of your Aussie experience, the gay American is sure to find plenty to enjoy down under.

> For more information on Sydney,

Australia visit: http://www.sydneyaustralia.com

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DEARFELICIA Dear Felicia,

I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 months. For the most part our relationship is great, but on occasion things get a little sour. He has not only broken up with me, but broken my nose as well as many of my belongings. After one particularly bad incident, it looked like a tornado had swept through my apartment. Lately, he seems to have gotten his temper under control and we haven’t had any incidents near as bad as him breaking my nose, but I can’t help but wonder with all the time and effort I’m putting into this relationship, after only 3 months, is it really worth it? Sincerely, Broken Hearted

Dear Broken Hearted, I must say I find the level of violence so high in a relationship so new quite unnerving. After 3 months, I’m not sure what kind of dispute results in the type of destruction that you’ve described. I will always push safety, and it doesn’t sound to me like this is the type of person who is concerned with yours. Anytime physical violence is involved, I will warn you to err on the side of caution. If he’s broken your nose in the first couple of months, imagine what could happen in a year or two over a much more serious incident. You need to put your health and safety first. Just because this has happened once does not necessarily mean it will happen again, but there’s no guarantee on that. I know anger management classes sound a bit cliche, but you have to remember, HE BROKE PART OF YOUR FACE. If you’re going to stay with him, I don’t think asking for something along the lines of an anger management class or some form of therapy is irrational. I personally wouldn’t stay with anyone that physically abused me, but as with anything in life, I cannot set your moral boundaries for you. That being said, I cannot tell you whether or not this relationship is worth it. I will, however, tell you to stay on your toes and consider the things you’ve already gone through as well as how your relationship currently makes you feel when making that decision yourself. xoxo, Felicia Email your questions to DearFelicia@Mintmale.com

57 January 2010/ MintMale

January 2010/ MintMale 58

HOROSCOPES Capricorn (December 21 – January 19) Strut your stuff, Capricorn! While others partied hard, you kept working it all out. Now it’s time for the pay-off. Pluto entering your sign this month ushers in a comeback Whitney Houston would envy.Work it! Everybody is watching and they will like what they see.Watch your spending, however. It’s hard to be the life of the party when you’re broke.

59 January 2010/ MintMale

Aquarius (January 20 – February 17) Hush up, Aquarius. Venus and Mercury are working together to clear your head and connect you to your intuition. Quiet the bitch within and get back in touch with what’s truly important. Your new-found clarity will benefit you greatly when a long-time feud resolves itself with the New Moon on the 25th. Pisces (February 18 – March 20) Reach out, Pisces. You’re at your best when you’re giving back, and now is the perfect time. Resolve to commit to others in ways you currently do not. Want to take it to the next level with your boo? Take a leap of faith. Soul searching? Volunteer. Seek out new connections of all kinds and you’ll be rewarded with a solid social circle to be proud of. Aries (March 21 – April 20) Have hope, Aries! Although the past few months have been rough on your ego (and possibly your reputation), the New Year is filled with opportunities for you to succeed. The power of positivity helps you sail past the opposition and occasional bump in the road. Keep your wits about you and the success will spread to your personal life as well. Taurus (April 21 – May 20) Run and hide, Taurus! Although you aren’t in any physical danger, the path you’re currently on is leading to a clash of your personal and public life. Step out of the spotlight and focus on yourself. The New Year is a perfect time to work on long term goals: learn French, save up for something big, or get back into shape. Do something that matters and you’ll impress someone who matters to you. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Take the plunge, Gemini. Insecurities have left you feeling shaky but a little trust goes a long way. Harness your inner fierceness and take a leap of faith. Financial matters and new relationships will benefit from a boost of confidence. You’ll come out ahead (and others will follow your lead) if you stop making excuses and just do it. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) Take a walk on the wild side, Cancer. Dramatic Mercury rules your communication this month making everything a little more exotic. Allow yourself to party a little harder this month (you’ve earned it) and you’ll find unexpected benefits in your professional life. Watch your mouth, though. You can be the life of the party without all that nasty gossip. Leo (July 22 – August 22) Start fresh, Leo. Positive energy in the air aids financial and business issues. Let it extend into your home life and you’ll enjoy some much-needed peace. Clear your mind of negative thought patterns and get real. You wouldn’t keep old worn out shoes - why are you holding on to relationships and habits you’ve outgrown? Virgo (August 23 – September 22) Keep your cool, Virgo. Though co-workers and acquaintances are tap-dancing on your last nerve, you’ll need to remain calm to conquer. Let out your frustrations through a new hobby (or a long-neglected one.) Energies are high this month, use them to your advantage. Soothe relationships by using your head. Bitchiness is energizing, but toxic in the end. Libra (September 23 – October 22) Unplug, Libra. Although you love being up to date, your constant need to be “in the know” is wearing you down. Your dependence on technology is ruling your life. Stop tweeting and start living. Creative energies are high this month - instead of blogging about your daily experiences, seek out new and exciting adventures. The internet can wait. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21) Speak up, Scorpio! You’re especially persuasive this month. Now is the perfect time to say all those bottled up things you’ve been dying to. Assert yourself in work matters and the powers that be will be impressed. Reward yourself with simple pleasures and bring friends along for the ride. The more the merrier! Sagittarius (November 22 – December 20) Come out (of hiding), Sagittarius! You’ve spent months getting your work and financial life in order, now is the time to show off your accomplishments. Pluto spices up your life this month with boosts of personal power, sex appeal, and self-esteem. If you’ve got it - flaunt it. Don’t get attention greedy, however. Celebrate the success of others and more will come your way.

January 2010/ MintMale 60

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