how to Cope with loneliness?

By:Asma Shums,

he great irony is that as we become increasingly “connected”—on social media, video calling, and messaging— but we simultaneously feel increasingly lonely. And even though we may use technology to feel more connected, it may be exactly what’s leading us to feel lonely. Read below on how to cope with the feeling.

1. Practice self-kindness.

In difficult moments, it’s essential to practice self-kindness. Blaming ourselves when we feel lonely is not helpful. So limit your hurtful self-talk, take care of yourself, and just generally give yourself a break. Perhaps a walk in nature or a day at the spa may be helpful for getting yourself into a self-kindness mood.

2. Capitalize on the present moment.

When you feel good about something, share it with others right away, and I don’t mean “share” by posting on your social media. You could share by calling or texting a friend. Or share with the people you work with. Keep in mind that the positive things that you can share don’t have to be big. You could simply have woken up on the right side of the bed and think, “Hey, I’m feeling great today.” By sharing these moments, you create small moments of savoring and connection with others that can help you overcome loneliness.

3. Connect in real life. Connecting in real life may not be as easy as it once was. We often default to using our smartphones—it’s easier, and now it’s culturally accepted. But we can decrease our loneliness if we build stronger in-person connections. We do this by looking people in the eyes, listening, being mindful, and choosing not be distracted by our phones or other technologies.

4. Rethink how you spend your spare time When we feel lonely, sometimes we just want to retreat into a corner and hide. Other times, our endless to-do list may leave us too exhausted to go out and be social. But opting to stay alone every night with our phones, watching Netflix, or playing on Facebook can really get us stuck in loneliness. We’ve created a life for ourselves that deprives of us of meaningful social connection, and the only way to get out of it is to start living differently.

If we instead use our loneliness to motivate us to reach out to people, then we can strengthen our relationships. By opting to cope with our loneliness by seeking out social support, we create more social moments with the people in our lives who matter to us, which usually reduces our loneliness.

5. Do more things with people.

Engaging in face-to-face social interactions tends to improve our mood and reduce depression. Activities that involve other people—such as attending religious services or engaging in sports—are also likely to have positive effects on our mental health. So find ways to be around people more.

6. Talk to strangers.

A growing body of research suggests that even seemingly trivial interactions with strangers—like chatting with a barista or cashier—may be able to keep loneliness at bay by helping us feel more socially connected. So reach out to other human beings to say hello, ask them how they are, or chat about whatever’s on your mind. These small acts can make a big difference and help you reduce feelings of loneliness.

7. Be active online.

Instead of passively surfing the net or your social media, if you want to go online, opt instead to do something that involves the

Tactive participation of other people. For example, you could play games with others, chat about something you care about, give advice on a forum, or have a video call with a friend. The more you interact with others while online, the more connected you are likely to feel.

8. Share for real online.

Somewhere along the way, the word “sharing” got co-opted on social media to describe what is really just “humble bragging.” We post about cool things we did, nice meals we ate, or a fun party we went to—all things that we didn’t actually share with the people who are viewing our posts. Instead of posting about things you did, reclaim the word “share” for what it really means—to give a small or large portion of what is yours to someone else. You could share advice, words of support, or even empathy, all from your smartphone. As a result, your connections are likely to be more kind and supportive.

9. Stop focusing so much on you.

It’s almost inevitable in our modern technology-crazed world that we start to believe we don’t have enough. Bob got a new car. Sherri got a new house. Sonja got a new job. We also see false or unrealistic images—models Photoshopped to have perfect waists and abs—and we feel envious. As a result, we become increasingly focused on how we are not measuring up.

Instead of focusing on what you can get, shift your focus to what you can give. You could sell T-shirts online to raise money for a good cause. You could ask friends to donate to a charity for your birthday. By giving to others, you take the focus off yourself and do good at the same time, helping you to feel more connected and less lonely.

10. Stop your negative thought cycles. We might repeatedly think about what we could have done differently to prevent ourselves from feeling so alone. We ruminate on the events or people or causes, because we mistakenly believe that thinking about our loneliness over and over again will help us solve it. Unfortunately, it does us no good to get caught up in our thoughts instead of taking the actions we need to feel better.

To put an end to these negative thought cycles, we need to take action—do something different that stops these thoughts and changes our experience of the world. For example, if I’m feeling lonely, I’ll go to the gym or schedule lunches with friends for the next few days. And it helps.

11. Generate a sense of awe.

Awe (like when we witness the birth of new baby, or a majestic mountain) makes time seem like it’s standing still and helps us be more open to connecting. Something about feeling small in the context of a big world appears to help us see ourselves as part of a whole, which may help us feel less alone. So expose yourself to something that creates awe—like landscapes, new experiences, or new foods.

12. Spend money on experiences.

If we’re spending all our money on things, we won’t have the cash to spend money on experiences with others. And it turns out that spending money on experiences is way better for our mental health. So get creative and think about what you want to do with others. For example, I might go on a canoeing trip, go wine tasting, plan a beach party, or host an arts & crafts night. What group activities might make you feel less lonely?

13. Pay attention to the things that matter.

How do we expect to improve our loneliness when we don’t know what causes it? It’s hard. So it’s helpful to start paying attention to the present moment. What are the experiences that make you feel lonely?

And what are the experiences that make you feel connected or like you belong? Identifying these moments can help you reduce loneliness, because you can limit your engagement in activities that make you feel lonely and increase your engagement in activities that make you feel connected.

14. Create a vision board.

I keep a vision board tacked up by my desk to remind me of my goals. A big chunk of my vision board is about connecting— building community, networking, spending time with family, and the like. Sometimes I have a hard time sticking to it, but having the vision board reminds me to. Once you discover the things that make you feel less lonely and more connected, it can be helpful to create a board or list or plan for what you’ll do—something to keep near you so you remember what you need to do to combat loneliness.

15. Tend to your network. Sometimes we can end up feeling alone even though we are connected to lots of people. So it can be helpful to reach out to these people and schedule times to catch up. Aim to schedule at least one social hour per week—a coffee date, lunch, or happy hour. Who knows, maybe an old friendship can be reignited.

16. Join an online group of like-minded people. You can now find people online with just about any interest — for example, politics, cooking, or sports. Joining one of these mission-oriented groups can be a way to feel more connected to others, even when you don’t have access to face-to-face interactions. You might get to know some new people or make lifelong friends. You can even try out a few groups to see which ones fit you best and decrease your loneliness the most.

17. Volunteer remotely or in real life. For some of us, it’s hard to find people to spend time with, let alone connect with. So we have to find new people. One way to do this is by volunteering for a cause, either remotely or in your town. Just be sure you’re working with others. Working on an important problem with others can help you decrease loneliness.

18. Be nice to yourself.

It’s important to practice self-compassion when you fail at things. Remember, everyone fails, and there is no need to be a bully to yourself, feel guilty, or put yourself down. That kind of attitude won’t help you decrease loneliness, now or in the future. Instead, try talking to yourself in a way that is supportive, kind, and caring—and you’ll be more likely to acknowledge mistakes you may have made in trying to decrease loneliness, and hopefully do better next time. Email: asmashums@gmail.com

Turkey earthquake: Trudeau vows Ottawa will match donations to Red Cross

The federal government will match donations Canadians make to the Red Cross — up to $10 million — as relief efforts continue in Turkey and Syria following two devastating earthquakes. The death toll has topped 11,000 after the 7.8 magnitude quake and its powerful aftershocks reduced buildings to rubble. Rescuers have scrambled to pull people from the wreckage, but as more time passes, calls for help have begun to grow silent. Walking into a caucus meeting in Ottawa on Tuesday, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau called the images emerging from the region “horrific.”

“A lot of Canadians have their origins or family members in that region — I think particularly of all the Syrian refugees who’ve come to Canada over the past years to build a life who must be so worried about loved ones and families back home,” he said. “We’re going to be there to help.”

Canada announced on Tuesday that it was sending $10 million in direct aid to the region, money Trudeau said is “flowing already” to partners in the region. But, he noted on Wednesday, “Canadians want to be helpful as well.” “We’re announcing (we are) matching funds through the Red Cross up to $10 million so people can be generous and know that that help will be there,”

Trudeau said. You can make a donation online at donate.redcross.ca.

Canada’s “moral support” in the wake of the disaster has been appreciated, according to Kerim Uras, the Turkish ambassador to Canada, who spoke with Global News on Tuesday after the initial $10 million in support was announced. “The support is really very heartwarming,” he said. “But we do need more help and the cold is working against us. Search teams from more than two dozen countries have joined tens of thousands of local emergency personnel, and aid pledges have poured in from around the world. But the scale of destruction from the 7.8 magnitude quake and its powerful aftershocks was so immense — and spread so wide, including in areas isolated by Syria’s ongoing civil war — that many are still waiting for help.Source: ctvnews.ca

‘Put politics aside’, facilitate northwest Syria aid access: uN

A leading United Nations official has called for the facilitation of aid access to rebel-held areas in Syria’s northwest, warning that relief stocks will soon be depleted.

Rebel-held areas near Turkey’s border cannot receive aid from government-held parts of Syria without Damascus’s authorisation. “Put politics aside and let us do our humanitarian work,” the UN’s resident Syria coordinator El-Mostafa Benlamlih said, warning, “We can’t afford to wait and negotiate. By the time we negotiate, it’s done, it’s finished.”

WHO sending medics and supplies to earthquake zone

The World Health Organisation is flying medical personnel and supplies to Turkey and Syria after Monday’s devastating earthquakes. It will send a high-level delegation to coordinate its response as well as three flights with medical supplies, one of which is already on its way to Istanbul, WHO Director General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus said at a media briefing.“The health needs are tremendous,” said Dr Iman Shankiti, the WHO representative for Syria.

Turkey-Syria quakeupdates: No aid in NW Syria yet, say rescuers

The live blog is now closed, thank you for joining us. These were the updates on the Turkey-Syria earthquakes on Wednesday, February 8: The death toll from the earthquake that struck Turkey and Syria on Monday has risen to more than 12,000.

At least 9,057 people have died in Turkey, the country’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said on Wednesday. At least 2,992 have been killed in Syria.

Erdogan travelled to some of the most af- fected areas. On Tuesday, he announced a three-month state of emergency across 10 provinces, while aid agencies grapple with the complicated logistics of sending emergency assistance to war-hit Syria. The group leading efforts to rescue people buried under rubble in rebel-held areas of Syria, the Syrian Civil Defence, says it has not received any aid so far. More than 12,000 Turkish search-and-rescue personnel are working in the affected areas, along with 9,000 troops. More than 70 countries have offered rescue teams and other aid.

Quake death toll in northwest Syria crosses 1,730

The death toll in northwest Syria has risen to at least 1,730, the Syrian Civil Defence said in a post on Twitter, adding that more than 2,850 others were injured. The number is likely to rise significantly due to the presence of hundreds of families under the rubble of destroyed buildings,” said the rescue group, also known as the White Helmets.

“Our teams continue rescue operations amid difficult circumstances,” it added.

After fleeing war in Gaza, an entire Palestinian family dies in quakes in Turkey

Twelve years ago, Abdel-Karim Abu Jalhoum fled war and poverty in the Gaza Strip for safety in Turkey. On Monday, the earthquakes that devastated parts of Turkey and Syria killed him and his entire family. The Palestinian Ministry of Foreign Affairs said Abu Jalhoum; his wife, Fatima; and their four children were among 70 Palestinians who had been found dead.“My brother went to Turkey to seek a better life away from wars and blockades here in Gaza,” said Abu Jalhoum’s brother Ramzy, 43, as relatives and neighbours trickled into the family’s house in the town of Beit Lahiya in the northern Gaza Strip to pay their respects. “We lost the family. An entire family was wiped off the civil registration record,” he said.Source:aljazzera.com l OCA l/SOCIA l ISS ue S

Day of Remembrance and Action on Islamophobia at Vancouver City hall.

Onthe Day of Remembrance and Action on Islamophobia, we join Vancouver’s Muslim community to honour the victims of the 2017 Quebec City mosque terrorist attack. Six years ago today, shortly after evening prayers, Ibrahima Barry, Mamadou Tanou Barry, Khaled Belkacemi, Aboubaker Thabti , Abdelkrim Hassane and Azzedine Soufiane were killed at the Islamic Cultural Centre of Quebec City, while several other worshipers were seriously injured. We grieve with their families and loved ones. Vancouver City Hall where The Mayor of Vancouver Ken Sim read a proclamation for the Day of Remembrance and Action on Islamophobia presented in the Council Chamber at City Hall Fol- lowed by remarks by Christine Boyle, City Councillor. The entire city Council was present. Other similar programs took place at City Councils in Burnaby and New Westminster as well as all over the nation Those wearing religious symbols, particularly women in hijab and men in turban, continue to fight for their right to peaceful self-expression in public spaces including at some workplaces. Islamophobia is also often closely intertwined with white supremacy as an ideology, and its eradication is bound up with the creation of an anti-racist, equitable world. As we mark this day, we stand against hate with the Muslim community.

Interfaith gathering for the Remembrance of the 2017 Quebec Mosque Shooting

We were honoured by the presence of so many joining us at an interfaith gathering for the Remembrance of the 2017 Quebec Mosque Shooting and Day of Action against Islamophobia that took place at BC’s historic First Mosque Al Jamia Masjid Vancouver on Jan 29th, where we held an Interfaith observance and prayers for the martyrs of the Quebec Mosque Attack .The evening was elegantly and professionally moderated by our very own