Winter online 2015 by Miryam Buchahim

CONTENTS

Discovering Women publisher ﬁnds strength in life’s challenges

Nerve-Wracking Wait is Burden on Family

Miryam Buchahim

Marina Wilke

Being Fit

Winter Energy Balls

Moving Pictures™

So, What IS Consent?

Terri Catlin

Paul Lavergne

Like Us On Facebook Discovering Women Magazine @discoveringW

www.Discovering-Women.com www.DiscoveryourCommunity.com Managing Editor/Copy Editor/Writer: Melodie McCullough Editorial: info@discovering-women.com Publisher: Miryam Buchahim Design / Photography: MB Graphics & Events Advertising Inquiries: miryam@discovering-women.com Office: 705-768-1035

PFLAG Strengthens LGBT Families

Second-time ’Round Brings Joy Carla Brown

Local Woman Spearheads Support for Mining Communities Around the World

Dianne McKay

Natalie Guttormsson

Emotional Kinesiology is a Path to Helping Others

Belinda Ginter

DW CHANNEL

www.discoveringwomenmagazine.com

Contributors: Miryam Buchahim (on the cover) Marina Wilke Dianne McKay Paul Lavergne Natalie Guttormsson Belinda Ginter Terri Catlin Carla Brown Linda Viscardis

Discovering Women Magazine and its logotype is a registered name. The publication is subject to copyright and may not be reproduced by any means without permission of the publisher. Discovering Women Magazine is produced and distributed four times a year. Subscriptions: Telephone 705-768-1035 Four issues for $24 plus taxes. Canada only. The publisher cannot accept responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or visual material. Story submissions, letters to the editor, press releases and promotional material in whole or in part or in any medium may be used, reproduced, published, stored or archived without compensation of any sort. This does not apply to materials, pitches, photography and illustrations submitted in accordance with known industry practices. Discovering Women Magazine will not be held liable for opinions expressed by authors. or damages or losses however sustained as a result of any information, opinions or products within its pages or its Website. Publication of ads does not indicate endorsement of advertisers’ products.

2015 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue#9

To Our Readers, from the Editorial Team The Discovering Women team is celebrating.

www.Discovering-Women.com

Let’s Celebrate!

We are celebrating another year of great friendships, professional accomplishments, and, most of all, the lives of the women who have shared their inspirational stories with us -- and you – on these pages.

We thank you, our readers, for believing in us; we thank our advertisers for supporting us; we thank our assistant, Carla Brown, and our regular contributing columnists: nutritionist Erin Bell; naturopathic doctors Susan Joyce and Dana Marshall; therapist Paul Lavergne; ﬁlm reviewer Terri Catlin; and Linda Viscardis, who all add their expertise and stimulating ideas to the magazine. We will continue to do our best to tell you of the trials and triumphs of the women of this community, and we look forward to sharing their lives with you in the year ahead. So, welcome 2015! Onward and upward! miryam@discovering-women.com 7057681035

Special thank you to Kristine Hannah for the great photos

Paul Lavergne Writer

Linda Viscardis Writer Erin Bell RNCP, R. BIE Writer

Carla Brown Assistant

Miryam Buchahim Publisher / Art Director

Dr. Dana Marshall N.D. Writer 4

Dr. Susan Joyce N.D. Writer

Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

Terri Catlin Writer

Visit our website www.Discoveryourcommunity.com

Melodie McCullough Managing Editor / Writer

Discovering Women publisher ﬁnds strength in life’s challenges Peterborough community benefits from Miryam’s passion for others By Linda Viscardis

In Photo: Miryam Buchahim Photo by: Kristine Hannah

The following story, something a little different for Discovering Women Magazine, is a melding of a first-hand account and interviews. The writer, Linda Viscardis, having been the Magazine’s founding editor and writer, wanted to include some of her own thoughts and feelings, resulting in this tribute to the publisher of the Magazine, Miryam Buchahim. Have you ever met someone and felt an unusual drawing toward this person, only to discover that, once you get to know her, it seems like you’ve known one another forever? When this happens, there’s only one piece of advice I can give you. Pay attention, and allow yourself the blessing of having this person in your life.

This is exactly what happened to me when, in 2009, I attended a networking meeting and was immediately drawn to a beautiful Latina woman across the room. We both immediately knew that we wanted to be formally introduced. That was just the beginning of a friendship that has evolved into what can only be described as an adoption. This young woman, Miryam Buchahim, and her children, Alexander and Sophia, have found a forever home in my heart, and I am blessed. Despite the difference in our ages (I could easily be her mother), Miryam and I have a lot in common. Our both having a child with special needs draws us together, no doubt. We are both entrepreneurial. We both carry our emotions on our sleeves. And we both have a passion for making the world a better place in which to live. But that’s about where it all ends. Miryam’s strength and courage, and her heart for others, form, I believe, the underpinning of this young woman’s business success here in Peterborough. But, my question has always been, where do her strength and courage and passion come from? How is it possible for someone, who is new to Canada, whose first language is not English, to find her place, and make such a huge difference in our community, while also running her own business, and being the parent of young children, twins—premature twins!—and with the added ingredient of “special needs,” just to keep things interesting? I have been thinking for a while now that Discovering Women Magazine’s readers want to know. It’s time you know what makes Miryam tick. It’s time to tell her story. I feel privileged to be able to write at least part of it.

Kidnapping fires up Miryam’s determination to succeed Miryam Buchahim was born in Mexico City in 1977. The only girl in a family of five children born to Carmen Lomelin and Nadim Buchahim, Miryam felt she was privileged—she felt the love of her brothers, and of her parents, despite their marriage breakdown; she attended a private school; and, her mother was a stay-at-home mom, so Miryam benefitted from the consistent presence of a strong role model, and of some very powerful motherly advice. Another gift from Carmen, Miryam’s mother, is faith. ...19

2015 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #9

9EDJ79J F>ED; B?IJ Emergency .................................................................................................................911 Police (non-emergency) ................................................................................................705-876-1122 Hospital ................................................................................................705-743-2121 Activity Haven Seniors’Centre ................................................................................................705-876-1670 Alcoholics Anonymous ................................................................................................705-745-6111 Bereaved Families of Ontario - Peterborough ................................................................................................705-743-7233 Big Brothers Big Sisters of Peterborough ................................................................................................705-743-6100 Canadian Mental Health Association ............................................................................................1-866-990-9956 Children’s Aid Society ................................................................................................705-743-9751 City of Peterborough Municiple Police Victim Services Unit ................................................................................................705-743-8922 Community Care ................................................................................................705-742-7067 Community Counselling Resource Centre ................................................................................................705-743-2272 Community Living Peterborough ................................................................................................705-743-2411 Community Race Relations Committee ................................................................................................705-742-9658 Elizabeth Frye Society of Peterborough ................................................................................................705-749-6809 Family Counselling Service and Volunteer Information ................................................................................................705-742-4258 Five Counties Children’s Centre ................................................................................................705-748-2221 Good Neighbours Care Centre ................................................................................................705-742-9800 Greater Peterborough Area Economic Development Corporation Business Advisory Centre....................................................................705-743-0777 Hospice Peterborough ............................................................................................... 705-742-4042 Kawartha Community Midwives ................................................................................................705-745-7640 Kawartha Food Share ................................................................................................705-745-5377 Kawartha Participation Projects ................................................................................................705-745-4122 Kinark Child and Family Services ................................................................................................705-742-3803 Labour Ready Inc ................................................................................................705-760-9111 Legal Aid Ontario ................................................................................................705-743-5430 Literacy Ontario Central South ................................................................................................705-749-0675 Mapleridge Seniors Recreation Centre ................................................................................................705-742-1481 Niijkiwendidaa Anishnaabe-Kwewag ................................................................................................705-741-0900 Ontario Disability Support Program ................................................................................................705-742-9292 Ontario Early Years Centre - Peterborough ................................................................................................705-748-9144 Ontario Works ................................................................................................705-742-9292 Peterborough Access Centre ................................................................................................705-743-2212 Peterborough Chamber of Commerce ................................................................................................705-748-9771 Peterborough Community Legal Centre ................................................................................................705-749-9355 Peterborough County - Children’s Services Division ................................................................................................705-748-8830 Peterborough County - City Health Unit ................................................................................................705-743-1000 Peterborough Family Resource Centre ................................................................................................705-748-9144 Peterborough Public Library ................................................................................................705-745-5560 Peterborough Sport and Wellness Centre ................................................................................................705-742-0050 Peterborough Pregnancy Support Services ................................................................................................705-742-4015 The Learning Disabilities Association of Peterborough ................................................................................................705-748-9455 Tri-County Community Support Services ...............................................................................................705-876-9245 Victim Services Peterborough Northumberland ............................................................................................1-888-822-7729 YWCA Crossroads Shelter ................................................................................................705-743-4135 Telecare Distress Centre ................................................................................................705-745-2273

Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

Nerve-Wracking Wait is Burden on Family In Photo: Marina, Roman & Baby Erik Photo by: MB Graphics & Events

By Melodie McCullough

There’s a beautiful baby boy living in East City right now, surrounded by the love of his parents and doting grandmother. Marina Wilke, 26, gave birth to Erik Mahmud June 19, with her husband, Roman, and her mother, Rita, at her side. Only one week before, Roman was on the other side of the world waiting … and waiting.

“I was trying not to panic and preparing myself for the fact I would have to do it alone,” says Marina. “It was frustrating and frightening, and heart-breaking to think he wouldn’t see his son born.” What should have been a normal pregnancy with little stress turned

into a nerve-wracking waiting game for Marina and her family, due to a tangled knot of Immigration Canada red tape.

Roman, 29, from Bangladesh, and Marina, a Peterborough native, met as students at Mt. Allison University, New Brunswick, in 2009. The following February he realized he had inadvertently over-stayed his student visa. Immigration Canada advised him to return home, saying he would be back in Canada in a few months. It turned into four and a half years. During that time, Marina moved to Bangladesh and they were married. Both worked there, applied for spousal sponsorship for Roman to Canada, and waited. When Marina became pregnant, she returned home last January to give birth. They applied for a temporary entrance for Roman for the birth, but this was denied. That’s when Marina began a petition to the Canadian government which garnered over 1,000 signatures, mostly from the Peterborough area. “I started it to show it was wrong to deny someone the right to be there when their child was born. Not only for us, but for others as well,” she says. But in the nick of time, after numerous inquiries, correspondence, documentation, and pleas for help, Roman received word his permanent status was accepted -- 22 months after he applied -- and ﬂew here June 12. CSIS criminality and security checks, alone, were backed up months. His parents have been denied entry to visit their grandson with no ﬁrm reason given. Bangladesh has the second longest wait time for visa processing behind Pakistan, says Marina. “I understand the necessity of vetting candidates. However, I feel with certain regions there’s a lot of unfair scrutiny. There are certain prejudices that need to be addressed, not to mention that more immigration staff is needed to reduce the waiting times and burdens on families. “My advice to other families is to be patient. It’s worth it. I had faith that if we could get to be together in Canada, nothing else could go wrong. We paid our dues.”

BEING FIT Being ﬁt means that you are able to push the limits of your body and not face any serious consequences as a result. This means that you can run long distances, lift heavy weights, go for brisk walks and do all the other things that place your body under stress. This is achieved by subjecting your body to that stress repeatedly until that becomes an almost ‘normal’ state for it and you have to place it under more stress in order to get the same challenge – this might be achieved through running increasingly long distances, lifting weights, trekking at high altitudes or a range of other activities.

Trying to reach your goals sometimes can be challenging, when you doing it alone. Join a boot camp or support group, reach out. Remember if you fail one day, still tomorrow to try again. We all being there at some point on our lives. Don’t diet change your eating habits for life, enjoy food and exercise for fun, most important don’t make excuses, you can start with 10 min and slowly you will gain the conﬁdence to continue and push yourself on the right path. I know is possible, I did it! and I feel great! Join our ﬁtness group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/274407696039504/

Requires strong muscle fibres which can help deal with heavy loads, as well as a good circulatory system and cardiovascular/aerobic fitness in order to pump energy around your body and nutrients. This is what it means to be fit, but what are the benefits? * It improves your IQ * It improves your mood * It improves your looks * It improves your sex drive * It improves your immune system * It protects you from heart disease * It improves your circulatory system * It deepens your voice * It helps you to sleep better * It slows down the effects of ageing * It helps wounds to heal * It speeds up your metabolism * Reduced chances of diabetes * It improves your lung capacity * You won’t get out of breath

www.discover.le-vel.com ImIMAGE REVOLUTION We want to help you to reach your potential, mentally, physical and spiritual. Prepare yourself for a new YOU!

GET READY FOR AN EPIC RIDE Stay tuned... 88 Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

Winter Energy Balls

Recipe

1 dozen energy ballsChange Servings 3/4 cup rolled oats 1/2 cup peanut butter 1/3 cup honey 1/3 cup cocoa powder 1/3 cup shredded coconut 1/4 cup wheat germ 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 pinch ground cinnamon Directions: Mix oats, peanut butter, honey, cocoa powder, coconut, wheat germ, vanilla extract, and cinnamon together in a bowl. Roll oat mixture into ping pong-sized balls. Place in a container and store in refrigerator. NUTRITION There are 455 calories in a 3/4 cup of Oats. Calorie Breakdown: 15% fat, 70% carbs, 15% prot. There are 94 calories in 1 tablespoon of Peanut Butter. Calorie Breakdown: 72% fat, 12% carbs, 16% prot. There are 340 calories in a 1/3 cup of Honey. Calorie Breakdown: 0% fat, 100% carbs, 0% prot. There are 98 calories in a 1/2 cup of Cocoa Powder (Unsweetened). Calorie Breakdown: 50% fat, 32% carbs, 18% prot. There are 699 calories in 1 1/2 cups of shredded Dried Coconut (Shredded, Sweetened). Calorie Breakdown: 59% fat, 39% carbs, 2% prot. There are 108 calories in a 1/4 cup of Wheat Germ Cereal (Toasted). Calorie breakdown: 23% fat, 49% carbs, 28% protein. There are 80 calories in a 2 tbsp serving of Torani Vanilla Syrup. Calorie Breakdown: 0% fat, 100% carbs, 0% prot There are 12 calories in 1 tablespoon of Cinammon

SPINACH This food is low in Saturated Fat, and very low in Cholesterol. It is also a good source of Niacin and Zinc, and a very good source of Dietary Fiber, Protein, Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E (Alpha Tocopherol), Vitamin K, Thiamin, RiboďŹ&#x201A;avin, Vitamin B6, Folate, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium, Copper and Manganese.

Check more recipes at www.discoveryourcommunity.com 2014 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #8

Check our Special offers www.DiscoveryourCommunity.com

Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

MOVING PICTURES ™ #3 LOVE ACTUALLY By Terri Catlin A director friend once told me that observing people at an airport is like watching a Chekhov play. If you’ve never noticed the heightened emotion of everyday air travel, it’s hard to imagine what he meant. But the opening of Love Actually, with its slow-motion scenes of ordinary people reuniting at Heathrow in London, paints the picture beautifully. In photo: Terri Catlin

This ﬁlm is a quilted patchwork of love stories laid out by all-star ensemble of stellar performers, including Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Keira Knightly, LauraLinney, Liam Neeson, Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson. The lives of several people are intermingled in the telling of no less than 10 love stories –stories of romantic love, unrequited love, familial love, forbidden love, puppy love and even love of country.

It is daring, in this age of dark and gritty ﬁlm realism, to tell stories of love so unabashedly. To speak of it in glowing terms, with no apology, no irony, no chic cynicism. And this is why Richard Curtis, the writer/director of Love Actually, is one of my heroes. The writer of romantic comedy blockbusters like Four Weddings and a Funeral, Notting Hill and Bridget Jones’ Diary is not afraid to believe in love – publicly. This may not sound like a feat of great courage, but think about it. What do we talk about around the water cooler? How much we love our spouses? What our friends and colleagues mean to us? How we can be moved to tears by watching our children sleeping? And yet we feel these things. It’s much more acceptable to complain about the economy, the weather, politicians. Love is unprofessional. Funny thing, isn’t it? The most powerful force in the universe, and we’re afraid to talk about it. And so I applaud the scope of hopefulness, the ﬂights of fantasyand the sometimes-sublime silliness of this moving picture. Terri Catlin is an award-winning actor/writer/director. She and her husband, Alan Catlin, also teach improv to business professionals, teams, couples, and anyone committed to being effective in an unpredictable world. www.terricatlin.com/writer http://landoltgroup.com/coaching-services/#improv

2015| www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #9 11

HEALTHY SEX AND RELATIONSHIPS

In Photo: Paul Lavergne In Photo: Dr. Olga Finlayson Photo by: MB Graphics & Events

With Paul Lavergne So, What IS Consent? I want to discuss the issue of “consent” in this article, and the meaning of that phrase in the context of sexual contact. With recent allegations against both Bill Cosby and Jian Ghomeshi, the issue of what does and does not constitute sexual consent is more timely and relevant than ever. The dictionary deﬁnes consent as a VERB: to permit, approve, or agree; comply or yield. Or as a NOUN: permission, approval, or agreement; compliance; acquiescence: He gave his consent to the marriage. So, how does this translate into the real world?

First of all, I would like to state there are aspects of the traditional dictionary definition of consent I would like to discard altogether – I believe the words “comply”, “yield”, and “acquiescence” are troublesome and problematic. It allows room for there to be aggression from one person to the other, and if the other person does not actively resist but rather only “complies”, or “yields”, they are deemed to have given consent. So if a man forces a women to engage in sexual behaviours on which she does not want to engage, she may “comply” out of fear of further violence, but she certainly has not given consent. Instead, I like to focus on the other aspects of this definition involving ”approve” or “agreement”. I believe this is a better stance to take. In the context of a sexual relationship the idea of consent applies to the following behaviours: kissing, hugging, touching, mutual masturbation, oral sex, intercourse, and any other sexual types of contact. The Criminal Code of Canada Section 150.1 defines sexual assault as a “threat, coercion, or actual touching”. Keep in mind that even if a person threatens to assault someone sexually but never actually touches them, they are committing an offense. In a sexual assault case, it is NOT the victim who gets to decide whether to pursue a sexual assault charge – it is the Crown Attorney. When the criminal courts look at whether a sexual act that was perpetrated against another person was “unlawful” or not, the key issue is whether or not “consent” was involved. Regarding age of consent in Canada, a person under the age of 18 can give consent to having intercourse with another minor if they are close to the same age and the other person also gave consent. The age of consent for anal sex is 18. So, what IS consent? Well, to answer that, let’s look first at what is NOT consent: * being drunk or high is NOT giving consent * wearing tight or revealing clothing is NOT giving consent * accepting an invitation to “come inside” is NOT giving consent * saying “let’s hook up” is NOT giving consent * accepting a ride home from someone is NOT giving consent * letting someone buy you a drink is NOT giving consent * letting someone take a selfie with you is NOT consent * accepting a “friend” request on Facebook is NOT consent 12

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* letting him pay for dinner is NOT consent * making a video of you being sexual with others is NOT consent to post this on the Internet without your express permission (which you should never give) Consent means clearly communicating your expectations and boundaries. It means saying “Yes, I am okay with that”. It means saying “I would like to do this”, or, “Is it okay if we do this?” Part of consent, as mentioned, is stating your limits clearly, such as “I don’t mind kissing, but not tongue and no touching”. It means stating what you do not want to do – “I am not into BDSM or rough sex under any circumstances”. Consent means that you express consequences if boundaries are violated – “I’m okay with some kissing but I am not getting naked and if you try I will be leaving”. Consent can be withdrawn at any time. It’s okay to change your mind at any time. It’s okay to say NO at any time. It’s okay to leave or ask your partner to leave at any time. If you are the victim of sexual assault, contact your local Sexual Assault Centre or YWCA. Paul Lavergne is a licensed therapist at The Turning Point Counselling and can be reached at 705-868-8896, by email at turningpoint4me@gmail.com, or at his website: www.turningpoint4me.com.

In photo Kathleen Wild

2015 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #9

Photo by: MB Graphics & Events In photo: Heather Wasson

14 14

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PLACES & EVENTS

Peterborough and Surroundings March Winged Tapestries – Moths at Large January 17 -March 29, 2015 5:00 PM 300 Hunter Street East Peterborough, Ontario peterboroughmuseumandarchives.ca 705-743-5180 OHL Hockey with the Peterborough Petes March 05, 2015 7:05 PM - 10:00 PM 151 Lansdowne Street West Peterborough, Ontario memorialcentre.ca 705-743-3561 The Kruger Brotherstier March 06, 2015 8:00 PM - 10:00 PM P290 George St. N. Peterborough, Ontario showplace.org 705-742-SHOW (7469) Women Empowering Women Network Dinner March 25, 2015 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM Red Lobster Restaurants 870 Lansdowne St W, Peterborough, Ontario discovering-women.com 705- 876-1840

April

May-June

Family Clay – Earth Day Project April 18th at Kawartha Potters Guild April 18, 2015 1:00 PM - 2:30 PM $25 1993 Talwood Drive Peterborough, Ontario kawarthapottersguild.com 705-742-4979

The Avenues: Building an Edwardian Suburb May 31, 2015 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM Downtown Peterborough Peterborough, Ontario trentvalleyarchives.com 705-745-4404

Women Women Empowering Empowering Women Women Network Network Dinner Dinner 3rd 3rd year year anniversary anniversary April April 18, 18, 2015 2015 11:00 11:00 AM AM Parkway Parkway Banquet Banquet Hall Hall Inc. Inc. 1135 Lansdowne 1135 Lansdowne St St W, W, Peterborough, Peterborough, Ontario Ontario discovering-women.com discovering-women.com 705705- 876-1840 876-1840

What to do in Winter: Winter Hike in the woods or rent snowshoes from a local outﬁtter/club and bring a thermos of hot chocolate to share Dinner and Skating on Rice Lake at Elmhirst’s Resort Tobagganing on Armour Hill Hand pick chocolates from The Chocolate Rabbit

Power and Equipment Days June 21, 2015 10:00 AM June 29, 2015 4:00 PM Adults $8, Students/Seniors $7, Youths (5-14) $4, Free for children under 5, Family $20 (includes 2 adults & up to 4 youths).* Special Event rates apply for the Father’s Day 104 Lang Rd. Keene, Ontario buckhorncommunitycentre.com langpioneervillage.ca 705-295-6694 Little Lake Cemetery Tour: From Waterloo to Korea June 28, 2015 2:00 PM - 4:00 PM $15 915 Haggart St. Peterborough, Ontario trentvalleyarchives.com 705-745-4404

Favourite Restaurant in Peterborough Ashburnham Ale House 126 Hunter St, Peterborough ON

2015 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #9

PFLAG Strengthens LGBT Families By Melodie McCullough

Dianne McKay felt so stupid. Her teenage son had just announced he was gay, and, to her astonishment, told her of the terrible bullying to which he was subjected at school. Then he listed every homophobic thing she had ever said. “I’d no idea. I was in the middle of a divorce,” she explained. “But my son wasn’t happy at school. How could I have been so stupid? Why wasn’t I at his school protecting him?” “And I was probably just as biased as anyone else. When I heard a homophobic joke, I would laugh.” For Dianne, 69, and a retired Peterborough nurse, that time is now “ancient family history”. She has a loving relationship with her son, 38, who lives and works in Toronto, as well as her daughter and her two children. She has also become an outstanding example for other parents and a challenger of homophobia through her work as co-chair of the Peterborough chapter of PFLAG Canada, a volunteer network dedicated to supporting non-heterosexuals and their families. The Peterborough unit was formed in 1999 with a two-fold purpose: provide one on one confidential support to families or anyone questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity; and raise awareness in the community to make things better. It serves a brunch before the annual Pride Parade, attends local health fairs and is a backer of the downtown Pride Week store front decorations. When Dianne first found PFLAG, it helped her accept and understand. “The first meeting was wonderful. It really helped me to talk to other parents and see them coping. I knew I could cope, too,” she says. Now she gives back, providing a listening ear by phone or at PFLAG meetings. “Kids call asking,‘who should I tell?’. Or parents are in shock and need advice. It’s not something you bring up with your neighbours walking down the street or in the coffee shop with your friends. Although there a lot of agencies in town, we are there for the families.” Statistics show the need. LGBT students hear anti-gay slurs an average of 26 times a day; 26% of LGBT youth are told to leave home. Is there homophobia in Peterborough? “Oh, my goodness, yes!,” exclaims Dianne. “There’s bullying in schools, and harassment on the streets. We’re going in the right direction, but we still have a lot of work to do.” 16 Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

Her advice to families is simple and sincere, coming from the heart of one who knows: “Just keep loving your child. They are ﬁne just the way they are.”

Second-time ’Round Brings Joy By Melodie McCullough

In Photo: Carla Brown & Serena

The children are grown. The days of diapers, school ﬁeld trips, homework battles and teenage angst are all in the past. So why start all over again? “It just kind of happened. We were helping out where ever we could, but the help turned out to be full-time,” explains Peterborough’s Carla Brown, 49, who is raising her four-year-old grand-daughter, Serena, with the help of her supportive partner. “It’s so much fun to have that little joy in your house, just having that really close bond with her. I get to watch her grow, see her smiles. She makes me laugh.”

ally a retired grandmother or aunt.

Grand-parents raising grand-children is a growing phenomenon. According to CANGRANDS, a not-for-proﬁt support organization of caregiver families across Canada, approximately 62,500 children are being raised by family members, usu-

Serena is a friendly, outgoing child who questions everything, is always on the go and who “loves to cuddle and loves her family,” says Carla. Serena’s mother, Jessica, is Carla’s daughter. A single mom, she works 110 shift work hours every two weeks. On her days off, she takes Serena. Carla is thankful she can help her daughter because she knows how difﬁcult it is for her. “She would love there to be a time when she can be a full-time mom. She’s gets very emotional without having Serena with her,” continues Carla, who believes strongly the next best thing for her grand-daughter is to be with family. She and Serena do crafts, colour, make forts, play in the park, sew, cook, and visit extended family. She also drives her to and from her Junior Kindergarten class – “everything she would be doing if she were with her mom. “I’d rather see her with family. She’s getting everything she needs and I know she is with family who want the best for her,” she says. Carla is on disability due to a neck and shoulder injury from work. She has also developed ﬁbromyalgia. All this contributes to the challenge of raising Serena, especially when she’s having a bad day. “I take it a day at a time. You’re helping a child that needs that help and that’s what families are all about.”

Information about CANGRANDS support group can be found at www.cangrands.com

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Local Woman Spearheads Support for Mining Communities Around the World By Melodie McCullough

Natalie Guttormsson grew up in British Columbia with several mines nearby, yet it wasn’t until she attended Trent University in Peterborough, that she learned about the often unsavoury practices of the Canadian mining industry globally and at home. “I started hearing about different so-called developing countries with environmental contamination and health rights’ violations, labour issues and social impacts,” says Natalie, 26. “Mining operations were being backed by the countries’ governments, but the local communities were saying no to them. And all these mining companies were Canadian.” (75% of global mining corporations are based in Canada) In the spring of 2010, a group of Ecuadoreans visited Trent, asking for international support, especially from Canadians, to address their problems. “I thought, ‘hey, why aren’t we doing something?’,” says Natalie. Then several mining activists were killed in El Salvador. Its government labeled it a gang war. “That made me angry.” With a few others, Natalie formed Canadian Mining Awareness (CMA) in Peterborough, a public awareness and education group afﬁliated with OPIRG and the Kawartha World Issues Centre. It has shown documentary ﬁlms and cohosted guest speakers to explain “the huge scope that is the Canadian mining industry”, she says, in Central and South America, Asia, Africa, and Australia. It also supports Canadian communities because problems occur here, too. “Communities should have the right to make their own decisions and not corporations who are concerned about the bottom line,” she explains. She currently volunteers with Engineers Without Borders on a research project pushing for Canadian mining companies to procure resources locally, support local businesses and manufacturers and be transparent. “We’re not going to change the industry over night. We need mining and the metals, but at least they can put their money where their mouth is,” she says. 18

Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

In Photo: Natalie Guttormsson

Natalie admits the struggle can be overwhelming, but the rewards are also great. It is humbling to meet the people who come from these communities, mostly women, to share their stories, and also other organizers who share the same opinions and mind-set, she says. “It may seem hopeless and you think ‘it’s far away, what does it matter?’ But then you see a good news story from the other side of the continent. It’s never easy and it’s never over, but it’s absolutely worth it.” CMA facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/ cmapeterborough/ CMA email address: cmapeterborough@gmail.com Mining Watch Canada page: http://www.miningwatch.ca/ Mining Injustice Solidarity Network (Toronto) page: http:// www.solidarityresponse.net/

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“My mom taught me how to be positive and to set goals,” says Miryam. “Because of her, I believed that whatever I wanted in my life, I could do it. The word ‘can’t’ doesn’t exist in my dictionary.” Miryam was given a chance to really put to the test what she had learned as a child when, in 2002, while out with her brother Monir, in the busyness of Mexico City, both were kidnapped. “We were pushed into a taxi, and we were held for a few hours,” Miryam recalls. “I heard one of the kidnappers say, ‘We can get good money for her.’ Luckily, my brother and I were able to get away.” That experience could have left her in a constant state of fear, but Miryam fought back with the only tools she knew—the strength and courage her mother had instilled in her. Instead of breaking her down, the experience built her up, fuelling Miryam with determination to start the sequence of events that led her to Canada, and eventually to Peterborough. Another gift from Carmen, Miryam’s mother, is faith. “My mom taught me to listen to God,” says Miryam. “When He tells me to do something, I have to do it. Sometimes He screams at me—the voice is so clear. ‘You have to do this; your next project is this; you need to help this person.’ It’s good to be obedient.” So, when, one night, in the middle of the night, Carmen woke a sleeping Miryam to say, “You should go to Canada,” Miryam listened. And, before long, with her bag and Pitt, her cat, packed, she was off to Canada.

In Photo: Alexander and Sophia Photo by: MB Graphics & Events

A Mother’s Gift

Anyone else might have been beaten down. But, Miryam listened, again, to that small voice—and was rewarded. Before leaving for her destination, Montreal, she met a young man from Vancouver, named Adam. “God sends special people to me, all the time,” says Miryam. “Adam was one stranger who was very kind to me.” Adam’s advice was to avoid Montreal and go right on to Toronto. She did. Eventually, Miryam met her husband-to-be, and her life in Canada began. In 2003, Miryam and her now former husband were married and moved to Lakeﬁeld, Ontario. Soon, they were expecting their ﬁrst child—well, actually, children…twins. Premature parenthood presented the next challenge to be overcome. What might have beaten down others simply became an outlet for Miryam’s passion for people—she poured her heart and soul into providing for her children. “I knew I would meet a tall, handsome man and I would have two children, a boy and a girl,” says Miryam. “But, I didn’t know I would have twins, and I certainly didn’t expect them to be born three months premature.”

“I was supposed to be going with some other people, but at the last minute, they decided not to go,” says Miryam. “I was on my own.” Another gift from Carmen, Miryam’s mother, is faith. ...19 Off to a foreign country, without her friends, and without anyone to meet her. All she had was her degree in Media, her faith, and a ﬁerce determination to be successful, no matter what life would throw at her. Miryam listens to wee, small Voice, relies on kindness of strangers

Then, as if this was not enough, only months later, Miryam experienced the breakdown of her marriage, due to her husband’s lifestile choices. Again, this could have beaten her down, but Miryam’s strength shone through. Life’s challenges leave Miryam with heart for helping others...20 2015 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #9 19

Blogging is easy, accessible - Just write what you know, stay focused

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Life’s challenges leave Miryam with heart for helping others

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“I decided I wanted more for my children. I did not want to bring my children up in an unhappy home,” says Miryam. “I knew I could be a good single mom. I saw how want my to mom start dida it. She blog?taught me. I knew I would not be in the street. I knew I would be okay.”

to one self-described proud aunt, docrafter and povertyFaced activist, logs, two very demanding children on her own, Miryam, once again, with web parenting known as blogs, allow communities listened to that wee,ofsmall voice. With the courage of a ﬁercely loyal mother, she found share ideas on topics of sharedhousing interest.in Peterborough. Not knowing how she would ever be able to appropriate

move on her own, she relied on her mother’s wise advice, and reached out and relied

“Blogs provide a wonderful opportunity to upon the kindness of strangers. discuss what you are working on and thinking about,” says Laura Vanderherberg, whose own blog focuses on family, crafting and social justice issues.

“My friend, Andrea, suggested that I ask the Mom’s Group for help, and my mom encouraged me to follow her suggesStill says fairlyMiryam. new to“I have blogging, Laura grateful tion,” a lot of prideisand I don’ttolike people having to do things for me, but I had to ask for help.” have been introduced to the pastime by a friend. Miryam was astounded when people whom she had never even met before came out to help her move all of her belongings to her new home. Miryam and the children, not yet aged two, were ready to start their new lives, once again thanks “She helped me a lot when I got started,” says Laura. to“She the compassion of strangers. taught me it was okay to ask a friend for help, and, once I got started, that I should give my blog a focus.”

“Two days before my move, we had a big snow storm,” Miryam remembers. “I was frozen from shovelling for three hours, would be able move our things. My mom, who was visiting from Mexico, cried, ‘I don’t like to see you Just so asweimportant, as to your focus, is disciplinhurt. strong.’ toldtopic, her, ‘Iaccording get it from Mama.’” ing You’re yourselfso to stay Ion to you, Laura. “Find up to three Miryam topic areas by that making longexperience, list of Ten people helped move day.aThe which could have left her beaten down, instead left her with things you know about, and that you might want a heart for helping others. to write about, then choose your top three,” says Laura. “Write only on those topics.”

Since that day, Miryam has continued to provide admirably for her children, and, while building her business she has maintained those friendships, and has made many new ones. I’m sure each of those friends would have something to Once you have decided what you will write about, it’s say about who is and what account she means the Peterborough community—I wasn’t surprised that so many people just a matter Miryam of opening a blog andtogetting stepped started.forward to share a few words. “I’ve observed that there are very few barriers to getting started,” says Laura. “Blogs are accessible to virtually anyone because of such low- or no-cost resources as BloggerTM and WordPressTM. And, if you can type, you can blog.” Laura Vanderherberg lives in Peterborough. She invites the readers of Discovering Women to visit her blog at www.lauraannv.blogspot.ca, and to contact her by email (laura.vanderherberg@gmail.com), if they would like to discuss how to get their own blog started.

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Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015

Miryam’s passion is gift to Peterborough community Passionate. Determined. Ambitious. Hard-working. Fair. Generous. Loyal. Smart. Talented. Beautiful, inside and out. Spiritual, with a kind and caring soul. Compassionate. Loving. A good and true friend. These are just a few of the words some of Miryam’s friends use to describe her. Evelyne Derkinderen, one dear friend, characterizes Miryam as a “fairness fighter.” “She is a passionate, single mom, with fight in her heart to succeed, and to create equality and love for all,” says Evelyne. “She is a universal gal with a big heart.” When another friend, Pat Dunk, met Miryam at a Women Empowering Women networking dinner, she was immediately drawn to Miryam’s busy lifestyle, and to “all the goodness she represents.” “Miryam is the most empowering woman that I have ever known,” says Pat. “She is always ready to help others. If you need help, she will find a way to fit it in. I think her main gift to our community is her determination to better and empower others.” For Helen De Luna, Miryam’s compassion stands out. “She takes motherhood to a whole new level, so don’t mess with her when it comes to her kids,” says Helen, laughing. “And yet, she takes to heart her compassion for other people, and for meeting their needs. She brings to our community her compassion for others, and her kind heart to put others first. She also brings her strength to stand up for what is right.”

Mexico’s loss is deﬁnitely Peterborough’s gain Peterborough has indeed been blessed. I am grateful that Miryam’s mother, Carmen, loved Miryam enough to advise her to leave Mexico for Canada. I am grateful that Miryam met the young man from Vancouver, Adam, who advised Miryam to travel to Toronto, rather than to Montreal. I am grateful for the people who have shown up when Miryam has needed assistance. And most of all, I am grateful that Miryam has made Peterborough home. Who Miryam is shines through in the work she is currently doing in Peterborough, with her photography business, MB Graphics and Events, and with the vision and purpose behind the Discovering Women Magazine. Whatever she decides to do in the future will no doubt have the same ﬁngerprint. Indeed, whatever she decides to do will no doubt be a blessing to all of her friends, and to the whole Peterborough community. Until then, this humble Discovering Women contributor just considers herself privileged to know this amazing young woman, Miryam Buchahim, and to call her friend. Watch for Miryam’s next collaborative project! She and three other local women, Robin Courneya-Roblin, Evelyne Derkinderen, and Pamela Van Nest, will present Spirit Zeal: Discover Your Potential, a series workshops, the purpose of which is to empower women to live into their greatest potential. Details to be announced on the Discovering Women Facebook page.

2014 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #8 Miryam’s commitment to serving the community stands out for another friend, Debbie Brown, who met Miryam during the Shoe Box Project for women’s shelters.

“Miryam is involved in so much for our community, in particular anything to with helping women and children,” says Debbie. “She is one of Peterborough’s treasures.” Another friend, Robin Courneya-Roblin, concurs. “Miryam is a woman whose light shines from deep within her, and who shines that light on others,” says Robin. “She has the ability to see others’ needs and to facilitate solutions. She is a connector, and that is so important for any community.” 2015 | www.Discovering-Women.com | Issue #9

Emotional Kinesiology is a Path to Helping Others

In Photo: Belinda Ginter

Belinda Ginter is devoting her life to helping others get to the next stage of their lives. “Emotional kinesiology is what I use to detect and remove past negative beliefs,” she says. “I discover emotions in the body and through discussion of the belief systems that are keeping them there.” The type of emotional kinesiology she does is called BET (Backman Emotional Technique) which was named after its founder Dr. Rose Backman, Belinda’s mentor and friend. Belinda says, “I have studied many types of emotional healing and this technique is the quickest at getting to the root and cause of the problem.”

“I can detect what age this started in my clients, and why they have built a story around it. And once you find out why, it’s so easy to let go.” Belinda left a guaranteed-income corporate job with benefits last summer to pursue her dream of starting her own coaching business, and has discovered the joy of seeing clients blossom before her eyes. “I love inspiring others to live the life they dreamed of and to do what I’ve done. Even after one session, a client makes great shifts. It blows me away.” The top three issues she helps her clients with are money, weight and relationships. 97% of her practice is done by skype or telephone, and she’s “booked solid”, with people from her own city to those all over the world. Leaving her job was scary at first, says Belinda, but she felt called to do emotional kinesiology. She “did it smart”, she continues, by starting out during evenings and weekends, and then finally taking it on full-time. “I had to invest in my own self-worth, but once I listened to that inner voice, I tripled my income and it has stayed consistent.” Belinda, who grew up in Peterborough’s north end, is now based in Oshawa and is a busy mom of Natel, eight, and Gavin, two. She currently donates four hours a week volunteering at the Children’s Wish Foundation. Belinda’s book – “How to Live a Kick-Ass Life” – will be published at the end of the year, and her new television show on the Nikkiclarkenetwork.com titled “New You with Belinda Ginter” in Toronto will begin filming in April. She also finds time to do numerous speaking engagements. To book an emotional kinesiology session with Belinda or to book Belinda for a speaking engagement or workshop please go to betcoachbelinda@outlook.com or call 416-705-7974 and please follow her on facebook, Belinda Ginter, and on twitter @NewYouBelinda.

Issue #9 | www.Discovering-Women.com | 2015