Missoula Independent

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MISSOULA

Vol. 20, No. 51 • Dec. 17–Dec. 24, 2009

Western Montana’s Weekl

al of People, Politics and Culture

Up Front: Smurfit-Stone workers lament the end of an era Ochenski: Why the closure dooms Tester’s logging bill Noise: Two new albums bring some soul to the season


Welcome to the Missoula Independent’s e-edition! You can now read the paper online just as if you had it in your hot little hands. Here are some quick tips for using our e-edition: For the best viewing experience, you’ll want to have the latest version of FLASH installed. If you don’t have it, you can download it for free at: http://www.adobe.com/products/flashplayer/. FLIPPING PAGES: Turn pages by clicking on the far right or the far left of the page. You can also navigate your way through the pages with the bottom thumbnails. ZOOMING: Click on the page to zoom in; click again to zoom out. CONTACT: Any questions or concerns, please email us at frontdesk@missoulanews.com


MISSOULA

Vol. 20, No. 51 • Dec. 17–Dec. 24, 2009

Western Montana’s Weekl

al of People, Politics and Culture

Up Front: Smurfit-Stone workers lament the end of an era Ochenski: Why the closure dooms Tester’s logging bill Noise: Two new albums bring some soul to the season


HOLIDAY FINERY

Add a blast of cheer to your holiday entertaining with lovely seasonal linens and tableware.

A SIP OF PEACE

HANDMADE, HANDPICKED

Yes, Santa Claus there is a Virginia. And as the GFS Kitchenware & Gifts buyer, she’s stocked her department with a unique assortment of Fair Trade and handmade gifts.

Stuff the stockings with the most popular mug on our shelves in 2009.

LE GORGEOUS

Make it a Le Creuset Christmas. Choose from our collection of enameled ovenware, stoneware and pottery.

WAECHTERSBACH

Fine German ceramics, Áawless glazes and rich hues.

THE GIFT OF CHOICE Give ‘em the store with a Good Food Store gift card.

GOOD FOOD, GREAT GIFTS.

VARIETEA

Teapots from Le Creuset, Joyce Chen and Hues ‘n Brews.

OENOPHILIA

Reds, whites and sparklers for every budget, plus stemware, totes, cork pulls and more.

HAND TOOLS

H2O TO GO

Graters, grinders, mixers and more from Kuhn Rikon, Zyliss, Microplane, Chef‘n and Norpro. Open stock J.A. Henckel 4-Star cutlery.

www.goodfoodstore.com

Missoula Independent

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1600 S. 3rd St. West

Page 2 December 17–December 24, 2009

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541.FOOD

Fun, environmentally-friendly water bottles and travel mugs from Vessel, Klean Kanteen, Laken and Planetary Design.

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7am to 10pm Every Day


nside Cover Story

Turns out, most of what Matthew Frank eats is not good for him. Never is this more apparent than during the holidays, when he, like most of us, can’t help but indulge in obscenely large platters of food and imbibe at scores of seasonal celebrations. That’s why he decided to try something different Cover photo by Cathrine L. Walters this year: For three whole weeks, stretching from before Thanksgiving into the heart of the Christmas season, Matthew tried to turn his back on typical holiday fare and commence a cleansing program intended to improve his health and rid his body of its accumulated toxins................................................14

This Week’s Montana-Produced Special

Cottage Bacon Mozzarella Ciabatta Kalispell cottage bacon, melted Lifeline organic mozzarella cheese, fresh organic tomatoes and rosemary aioli on a ciabatta roll and served with french fries.

Monday 12/21 @ 10pm

News Letters Polling issues, trains and hunting....................................................................4 The Week in Review Guy Lacelle, Conrad Burns and Greg Barkus...........................6 Briefs Marijuana zoning, gun rights and the immortal Yvonne Bittle ........................6 Etc. Take a second to think before driving home tonight ...........................................7 Up Front Higgins revamp raises heated parking debate .............................................8 Up Front Smurfit-Stone shutters Frenchtown mill for good.......................................9 Ochenski Mill shutdown signals trouble for Tester bill ............................................10 Writers on the Range Setting the record straight on wilderness.............................11 Agenda Help families in need through the YWCA ....................................................12

Arts & Entertainment

Open Mic Night with Mike Avery! Missoula's Finest Talent Tuesday 12/22 @ 8pm

Fat Tire Pub Trivia

So you think you are smart?

Wednesday 12/23 @ 8pm EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT 100% Cash PAYOUT, winner takes all.

HUMP-NIGHT B I N G O

Thursday 12/24 Christmas Eve

Flash in the Pan The hunting hangover....................................................................20 8 Days a Week Well, cleansing, of course .................................................................21 Mountain High Ski reports galore, brah ...................................................................30 Scope Tom Dewar keeps his eyes on the road with new print series.......................34 Noise Dramady, Richie Reinholdt, M. Ward and Blakroc ..........................................35 Noise Two new albums bring some soul to the season.............................................36 Film Invictus inspires without compromising accuracy............................................37 Movie Shorts Independent takes on current films....................................................38

We are open! Our kitchen will be serving until 5 p.m. while the bar is open until midnight. Thursday 12/31 New Year’s Eve

Let's swing into the New Year with style! Join us for live swing music performed by the Front Street Jazz Group.

Exclusives Street Talk ....................................................................................................................4 In Other News ...........................................................................................................13 Classifieds.................................................................................................................C-1 The Advice Goddess ................................................................................................C-2 Free Will Astrolog y..................................................................................................C-4 Crossword Puzzle ..................................................................................................C-11 This Modern World................................................................................................C-15

PUBLISHER Matt Gibson GENERAL MANAGER Lynne Foland EDITOR Skylar Browning ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Peter Kearns PRODUCTION DIRECTOR Joe Weston CIRCULATION & BUSINESS MANAGER Adrian Vatoussis ARTS EDITOR Erika Fredrickson PHOTO EDITOR Chad Harder CALENDAR EDITOR Ira Sather-Olson STAFF REPORTERS Jessica Mayrer, Matthew Frank, Alex Sakariassen COPY EDITORS Samantha Dwyer, David Merrill ART DIRECTOR Kou Moua PRODUCTION ASSISTANTS Jenn Stewart, Jonathan Marquis ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Carolyn Bartlett, Steven Kirst, Chris Melton, Sasha Perrin CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING MANAGER Miriam Mick CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE Tami Johnson FRONT DESK Lorie Rustvold ADVERTISING & ADMIN COORDINATOR Hannah Smith CONTRIBUTORS Ari LeVaux, George Ochenski, Nick Davis, Andy Smetanka, Jay Stevens, Chris LaTray, Ednor Therriault, Katie Kane, Ali Gadbow, Azita Osanloo, Cathrine L. Walters, Anne Medley, Jesse Froehling

Mailing address: P.O. Box 8275 Missoula, MT 59807 Street address: 317 S. Orange St. Missoula, MT 59801 Phone number: 406-543-6609 Fax number: 406-543-4367 E-mail address: independent@missoulanews.com

Missoula Independent

Page 3 December 17–December 24, 2009


STREET TALK

Inside Letters Briefs Up Front Ochenski Range Agenda News Quirks by Cathrine L. Walters

Asked Monday afternoon in downtown Missoula.

Q:

This week, Matthew Frank writes about his bold decision to partake in a three-week cleansing regimen— which dictates everything from what he eats to how he eats it—during the normally gluttonous holiday season. What plans do you have to offset or make-up for your drinking and eating during this time of year? Follow-up: What’s your guiltiest pleasure during the holiday season?

Jacob Kuntz: I was going to join the Y. They have a youth music program there, so I can work out and teach music to kids. A little “Moonlighting”: Dirty martinis and Bruce Willis movies. My favorite is The Kid.

Horrible message I currently serve as an elected Senator of the Associated Students of the University of Montana (ASUM). It is the role of every senator to be an advocate for the students of this campus and that is why I am writing today. The Missoula County Commission recently held a hearing on whether to strip students and young people of two of their polling places (see “Polling places predicament,” Dec. 10, 2009). Under County Clerk & Recorder Vickie Zeier’s plan we would lose voting locations at the downtown courthouse and on campus at the University Center. I just do not understand why a public official whose job it is to run elections would actively work to make voting harder for students. In each of these situations the new polling locations would be over a mile away, which is quite a distance if you do not have a car on a cold November Election Day. What a horrible message to send to students. Ray Davis ASUM Senator Missoula

Terrible timing

Robin Rose: Lots of water, vitamin B, chocolate and sad movies. Sweet tooth: Eating everything that’s given to me. Honestly, I’m like a dog! Any candy that shows up at my door I eat it.

Jessie Lewis: I’m hoping for a lot of skiing, some climbing and any outdoors sports. The key is to not overindulge. Bottoms up: Any kind of hot toddy-type drink!

Hail the Hiawatha

Kirsten Vorreyer: I want to sit in the hot springs a lot at Boulder Hot Springs. It makes you feel healthy even if you’re not being healthy. Shop, and be merry: Buying myself gifts when I am shopping for others.

Missoula Independent

Every college student knows this time of the year is frantic—finals are upon us. The thing they probably don’t know is that we might be in the final days of having a polling location on campus if County Clerk & Recorder Vickie Zeier gets her way. She recently came out with a plan that would shut down a number of polling places across the city, including the University Center on campus and the courthouse downtown, another place where many young people vote. And guess when the hearing is for this contentious issue? Right in the middle of finals week when most student can’t leave their desk, let alone get across town to defend their voting location. This plan to close our polling location is undemocratic and the process is shutting out our voice. Don’t take away our polling location and disenfranchise thousands of student voters. Richelle DeVoe Missoula

The return of passenger rail service across the southern part of Montana will provide a safe, affordable and sustainable travel option across the more populous part of the state while creating beneficial jobs immediately. The vast distances between towns, combined with escalating flight and fuel costs, presents an overwhelming need for reinstating the North Coast Hiawatha route while preserving the Empire Builder.

Daily operations of the North Coast Hiawatha would create 269 permanent jobs, while improvements to the track, signals and stations along the way will create new jobs in construction, manufacturing and material supply, as well as the spillover benefits to other businesses and added tax revenue for the state. The tremendous tourism boost must not be overlooked. This train will attract or retain millions of visitors annually to Yellowstone National Park in the summer and Montana’s ski areas in the winter. What will happen to that tourism when gas prices skyrocket again?

I just do not “understand why a public official whose job it is to run elections would actively work to make voting harder for

students.

Downtowns would greatly benefit from passenger rail. Downtown stations attract people and business in downtown instead of around towns. People can get a bite to eat, walk around and do some window-shopping, or stay overnight before catching their train. Daily train service to Montana cities will make them more attractive to business development by offering efficient transportation. The 2009 Amtrak study of reinstating the North Coast Hiawatha Service from Chicago to Seattle through Montana estimated the initial startup cost at $1.04 billion. The majority of that cost, $620 million, is for host railroad infrastructure improvements to accommodate this train. This cost could be significantly reduced if the freight railroads, BNSF and Montana Rail Link, performed preemptive track and signaling upgrades. Any investment in this cross-country route would greatly benefit freight and commuter operations as well and reduce the North Coast Hiawatha startup costs. Another cost of reinstating this service is acquiring 18 new locomotives and 54 bi-level coaches at a projected cost of $330 million. Why not build the new cars and engines in Montana? Amtrak needs to

replace its insufficient aging fleet anyway and will be looking for an American company with that capability. That could create a lot of additional jobs in our state. The projected annual ridership of the North Coast Hiawatha is estimated to be 360,000. If higher gas prices were figured in, that number would soar, reducing operational expenses. The service is estimated to require a grant of $31 million a year to operate. That is a lower per-passenger cost than 12 of Amtrak’s 15 current long distance trains and a bargain considering the hundreds of billions of dollars that the government spends on highways and airports annually. The annual operational cost does not take into account the value of increased mobility for the 460,000 residents who live along the route in Montana alone or the positive economic, social and environmental benefits. There is an immediate need for this service. Every time gas prices rise, so does the support for affordable, efficient public transportation. Implementation of the North Coast Hiawatha could take up to 60 months once funding sources are secured. We cannot wait any longer to reinstate this much-needed rail route that will create jobs, reduce pollution, bring increased mobility, boost tourism and bring affordable transportation to Montanans. Ryan Ellis West Glacier

Coyotes, birds and deer There’s not much good to be said about getting old, except that you have a longer memory than most people. As an old trapper, the short answer to Alex Sakariassen’s recent question (see “Where are the white-tails?” Dec. 3, 2009) is in the bellies of coyotes! The correlation between the price of a coyote fur and the impact on all game animals and birds is a proven fact. In the late ’70s I averaged $125 for my coyotes and in the ’80s we had more deer than we knew what to do with. As long as the price of coyotes stayed above $50, they were worth trapping. Now that you can’t give a coyote away, the deer population has nosedived. How does the price of coyotes impact the game birds? Very simple: When you trap coyotes, you also catch skunks, coon and fox. Those three were the main predators of game birds. Now here is a plan: Go green and wear coyote fur and help increase the deer population. It’s the ultimate renewable resource. Mike Dey Missoula

etters Policy: The Missoula Independent welcomes hate mail, love letters and general correspondence. Letters to the editor must include the writer’s full name, address and daytime phone number for confirmation, though we’ll publish only your name and city. Anonymous letters will not be considered for publication. Preference is given to letters addressing the contents of the Independent. We reserve the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Send correspondence to: Letters to the Editor, Missoula Independent, 317 S. Orange St., Missoula, MT 59801, or via e-mail: editor@missoulanews.com.

L

Page 4 December 17–December 24, 2009


Southgate Mall

PUT SOME

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523-3300 / www.missoulafcu.org Missoula Independent

Page 5 December 17–December 24, 2009


WEEK IN REVIEW

Inside

Letters

Briefs

Up Front

Ochenski

Range

VIEWFINDER

• Wednesday, December 9

Agenda

News Quirks by Cathrine L. Walters

Former three-term Montana Sen. Conrad Burns, 74, suffers a stroke in his Arlington, Va., home. Burns was found disoriented at his computer before being rushed to the intensive care unit at a Washington, D.C., hospital. Doctors initially classify his condition as critical, but upgrade him to “serious” on Monday.

• Thursday, December 10 World-renowned ice climber Guy Lacelle, 54, is killed in southwestern Montana’s Hyalite Canyon during an ice-climbing competition when a small avalanche triggered by climbers above Lacelle sweeps the Canadian off a cliff. A spokesman for Lacelle’s sponsor, Arc’teryx, calls his death a “huge, huge loss.”

• Friday, December 11 Missoula Police respond to the Colonial Apartments on West Broadway at about 1:30 a.m. after 22-year-old Michael Kinross-Wright was fatally stabbed in the chest, side and back by another man. Authorities believe the alleged killer, Charles Ivan Branham Jr., targeted Kinross-Wright because he was having an affair with Branham’s girlfriend.

• Saturday, December 12 The Griz overcome a winter storm—and constant reminders from ESPN announcers about high winds “from the mouth of Hellgate Canyon”—to beat Appalachian State in a Football Championship Subdivision semifinal, 24-17. The Griz now face Villanova in the championship Dec. 18.

• Sunday, December 13 Dozens of local artisans and hundreds of shoppers fill the Zootown Arts Community Center and the Stensrud Building for the Holiday MADE Fair. One Indy staffer spends all his cash—50 beans worth—on T-shirts and jewelry before frantically collecting business cards for future Etsy purchases.

• Monday, December 14 State Sen. Greg Barkus’ attorney asks a district judge to toss three felony charges pending against the Republican after an Aug. 26 boating accident that injured all five aboard, including Rep. Denny Rehberg. The defense is challenging the way investigators obtained evidence and aims to have it, as well as witness statements, suppressed. The judge sets an April 5 trial date.

• Tuesday, December 15 One of the first publicly traded companies to enter the medical marijuana business, Health Sciences Group, Inc., announces plans to partner with The Healing Center of Montana. The new partnership aims to purchase operating licenses for medical marijuana collectives in Park and Lake counties.

Two cross-country skiers take advantage of a weekend winter storm by traversing through the Rattlesnake National Recreation Area on Sunday afternoon.

UM Building namesake resigns The namesake and primary donor of a new University of Montana education center hit a bit of a professional rough patch late this year. Harold Gilkey, 70, stepped down from his position as chairman of Spokane’s Sterling Savings Bank in October, shortly after the bank received a cease-and-desist order from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC). The order cited a number of unsafe or unsound banking practices, including a large number of poor-quality loans and inadequate capital. Gilkey, also a co-founder of Sterling Savings Bank, resigned alongside CEO Heidi Stanley and surrendered just under half of his total stock interests in the company. As part of the FDIC’s order, Sterling Savings Bank was required to raise $300 million in new capital by Dec. 15. The bank failed to meet the deadline, and NASDAQ issued a warning last week it would delist the company’s common stock if trade values didn’t rise above $1 by June 7, 2010. OPEN SUNDAYS IN DECEMBER 12-4

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Missoula Independent

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Page 6 December 17–December 24, 2009

Net losses at Sterling Savings Bank—which has branches in Missoula and Hamilton—totaled $463.7 million in the first three quarters of 2009. Gilkey could not be reached for comment. Meanwhile, UM expects to begin construction of the Gilkey Center for Leadership, Entrepreneurship and Executive Education this spring. The 16,000-square-foot addition to the university’s business school facilities, named for Harold Gilkey and his wife, Priscilla, will include a 94-seat executive auditorium, two classrooms and an executive networking club. Gilkey donated $1.5 million to the $5.1 million project. The Gilkeys appeared as guest speakers for the building’s groundbreaking ceremony in October 2008. Both graduated from UM in 1962 and were recognized in 2004 with the creation of the Harold and Priscilla Gilkey Executive Lecture series. Gilkey’s resignation and the troubles plaguing Sterling Savings Bank as a result of the recession have had no impact on UM’s interest in completing the project.

“We’ll plan to begin construction in late spring of 2010,” says UM Executive Vice President Jim Foley. “Harold’s resignation will have no effect upon the naming or the construction. We know of nothing that merits a different decision.” Alex Sakariassen

Good Deeds Bundled on Broadway As the thermostat dips to a toe-numbing 7 degrees on a recent Friday, 88-year-old Yvonne Bittle sits bundled in front of Safeway on West Broadway next to a red Salvation Army kettle and shakes a tambourine. “It takes me about an hour to get dressed and an hour and a half to get undressed,” Bittle says. “When it gets real cold, then I have the muff too.” Bittle has collected donations for the Salvation Army three days a week, five hours a day, through every holiday season the past 26 years. And she’s learned what it takes to stay warm.


Inside

Letters

Briefs

Up Front

Ochenski

Range

Today, she wears two undershirts and pink long johns under a flowing white angel costume made of thick upholstery fabric. Lined shin-high white boots, gold wings and a fluffy white hat complete the ensemble. The gown is slightly frayed at the bottom, its gold wings perhaps a bit droopier than they were when the Salvation Army had the dress made for Bittle 16 years ago. One of her immaculately braided gold buttons is loose. A safety pin helps hold it all together. Bittle keeps a thermos of hot Tang in a paper shopping bag next to her cushioned chair. If it gets too chilly, she steps inside Safeway for a bit. But Bittle says the weather this year hasn’t bothered her. She’s felt worse. “The first year that I stood kettle I was on the corner of the bank building down Higgins, and that year it got to be 31 below zero on my corner with the wind factor,” she says. “They came and said, ‘You don’t have to do this.’ And I said, ‘Oh yes, you don’t understand, I do have to do it.’” Bittle is committed to helping people in need. Over the years, she’s collected donations in various Missoula locations, but she now has a regular spot. “For five years I walked around in the outfit and carried a little kettle,” she says. “And then, when I couldn’t walk around that well anymore, they parked me at Safeway. So Safeway just kept me. I’ve been at Safeway now 11 years…As long as the costume holds up, I’ll do it.” Jessica Mayrer

mined that such establishments “could be immediately detrimental to, harmful to, and a threat to the peace, property, health, safety, and welfare of the city and its inhabitants.” Smith says THC will sue Whitefish by the beginning of next year on the grounds that the ordinance circumvents state law. Specifically, the ordinance states that it applies to medical marijuana caregivers who provide marijuana to more than three qualifying patients, but state law puts no limit on the number of patients for which a caregiver can supply medicine. “State law allows a caregiver in his own private residence to care for as many people as he wants,” Smith says. “The zoning, whether they

Whitefish Caregivers zoned out

think so or not, does not impact a private Montana citizen in the privacy of their own home.” Allen St. Pierre, director of the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), says that land use and zoning is “the great frontier” in marijuana law reform. Hundreds of communities, most notably in California and Colorado, he says, have moved to ban medical marijuana in recent years. “The fulcrum that determines whether or not these dispensaries, such as they are, will exist is the mores and values of those in that local area,” St. Pierre says. “And as a former zoning student and land-use student, there is often no greater demonstration of a community’s mores and values than its zoning.” Matthew Frank

The Healing Center of Montana (THC), a medical marijuana collective, plans to sue the city of Whitefish over its recently approved moratorium on medical marijuana businesses, fearing that the city’s decision will set a precedent for other communities in the state. “I’m concerned that if the city of Whitefish gets away with this that other cities will do the exact same thing,” says THC’s Michael Smith. On Dec. 7, the Whitefish City Council narrowly passed an “urgency ordinance” banning medical marijuana businesses for three months so the Whitefish Planning and Building Department can investigate ways to appropriately zone them. In the decision, the council deter-

Agenda

News Quirks

BY THE NUMBERS

Firearms Targeting gun violence Bob McKelvey and Mike Chessin never stepped far beyond letters to local media in their fight for stricter anti gun-violence laws. But in recent months their fledgling organization has begun to gain some political traction with an issue that would appear to be a non-starter in western Montana. McKelvey and Chessin founded Montanans United to Stop Gun Violence (MU-SGV ) years ago to combat what they saw as a serious problem in the state. Late this summer, they finally reached out and approached state Reps. Dick Barrett and Ron Erickson, both of Missoula, about helping the group. In November, Helena Mayor Jim Smith joined MU-SGV’s steering committee. “I think it’s a voice that needs to be heard in the debate here in Montana over gun rights,” says Smith, who has lobbied against concealed weapons carry for 15 years. “I don’t think there’s another grassroots organization or a group of ordinary citizens who are committed to the end of gun violence and the maintenance of a civil society.” The group faces a number of tasks for 2010, most immediate of which is agreeing what issue to use as a rallying point. McKelvey says he has growing concerns over the rising number of open carriers in the Bitterroot—an issue highlighted by recent Celebrating Conservatism meetings that feature numerous attendees with firearms. But Barrett says putting open carry practices in the group’s crosshairs could galvanize Second Amendment proponents. Barrett believes it’s best to rally around an issue of widespread public concern, like the illegal sale and trafficking of firearms in the state. Both issues were discussed at the group’s recent 2010 strategy session in Missoula. Whatever issue MU-SGV decides to attack first, other steps will be required to grow the fiveperson group. McKelvey plans to spend the holidays working to gain nonprofit status. He says MU-SGV can then reach out to other organizations and hopefully host speakers in the area. The biggest hurdle will be bringing local citizens into the fold. “This movement is going to continue to work very slowly so long as it’s just the few of us being active,” McKelvey says. Alex Sakariassen

104

Homeless who spent the night at the Poverello Center Dec. 10, breaking the facility’s previous record for most people staying under its roof in one night.

etc. At a recent holiday party a friend of ours explained with eggnog in hand why, even on the coldest and snowiest winter nights, and even if he’s been offered a ride, he chooses to walk home after he’s been drinking. It’s beautiful and allows for quiet reflection, he said, and by the time he gets home—typically after walking more than a mile— the endorphins provide a sobering effect. A little drastic, if you ask us, but our friend certainly has the right idea. The problem is that too many other Montanans don’t have the foggiest idea how to safely get home after a night of drinking. Case in point: Montana’s DUI-related death rate ranks first in the country—for the second year in a row. According to a National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) report released this month, Montana had 0.84 DUI-related deaths per 100 vehicle miles traveled in 2008, a little less than its 2007 rate of 0.93. Put differently, of Montana’s 229 highway fatalities in 2008, 91 were alcohol related, or 40 percent. Nationally, 11,773 people were killed in alcohol related crashes in 2008, almost 32 percent of all highway deaths. Of course, this data doesn’t come as much of a surprise in Big Sky Country, where drinking and driving is as much a product of our culture as a result of bad judgment. After all, it wasn’t until 2005 that Montana banned open containers in vehicles, one of the last states to do so. The state continues, however, to allow brewskies in boats. Speaking of which, while we all know about state Sen. Greg Barkus’ drunken run-in with the rocks on Flathead Lake, those involved shed some sobering light on the extent of Montana’s drinking and driving culture. After the crash the Indy obtained documents showing that it was Barkus’ second DUI-related incident, and then the Missoulian reported that the prosecutor’s deputy attorney, the original judge’s ex-husband, and even Barkus’ own defense attorney all have previous DUI arrests. The attorney’s case was dismissed, the Missoulian reported, because the arresting officer was not available to testify— because he had been killed by a drunk driver. Unfortunately, there are scores of other examples— the drunk driver who killed revered city prosecutor Judy Wang in September comes immediately to mind—but you get the point. It’s a major problem. And so we urge you to heed our friend’s advice this holiday season. Have all the eggnog you’d like, but keep your sleigh parked. Bring your boots and walk home, call a cab, or sculpt an igloo and sleep in it. Anything but drive. Because our humble holiday wish list includes removing Montana from the top of another one.

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Missoula Independent

Page 7 December 17–December 24, 2009


Inside Letters Briefs Up Front Ochenski Range Agenda News Quirks

Tight spots Higgins revamp raises heated parking debate by Jessica Mayrer

It doesn’t take Missoula Parking Enforcement Officer Cyndie Winchell long to find an example of the downtown parking problem. “See, check this out,” she says, pointing to a yellow “Violation” tab inside a broken Main Street parking meter. “They’re antiquated. It’s old lock-and-key kind of stuff.” Meters like the one Winchell’s referring to are most likely on the way out. As the city prepares to give N. Higgins Avenue a facelift this spring, old meters from Broadway north to Alder on Missoula’s main drag are likely to get replaced. It’s the

Parking Staff Member of the Year. The honor allowed the self-described “meter maid” to attend the convention in Denver and peruse the latest pay-parking technology inside an immense conference hall. “It was as big as downtown Missoula, with all these vendors in it,” she says, chuckling. “Well, maybe not that big. That’s an exaggeration.” Though her opinion is advisory only, Winchell says of all the options she’s seen, pay stations are the best because they eliminate sidewalk clutter, offer flexible time limits and are easy to use.

Photo by Cathrine L. Walters

Parking pay station next to the Millennium Building in downtown Missoula. Pay stations like these could replace parking meters as the city gives N. Higgins Avenue a facelift.

first of several steps local officials are taking toward revamping downtown parking. But what replaces the old meters along the three-block stretch and, eventually, all across downtown remains up for debate. The five-member Missoula Parking Commission (MPC) Board of Directors has final say in how the upcoming pilot project pans out. One option under consideration is pay stations, or “kiosks,” similar to the ones used at the University of Montana, Caras Park and the Millennium Building. Another possibility, according to Rod Austin, board chairman of MPC, would be “curb readers,” which read license plates and allow the city to bill commuters later. Modern single-vehicle meters, potentially equipped to handle credit cards, are also in the running. Austin adds that the board could also decide to make no change at all, although it’s unlikely. The status quo would disappoint Winchell. For more than two decades, she’s prowled city streets keeping an eye out for people attempting to squeak by on expired meters. Her dedication to the work was recognized last spring when the International Parking Institute named Winchell its 2009

Missoula Independent

Page 8 December 17–December 24, 2009

“I just think in the long run, they’re the way to go,” she says. “Plus, you could make them fun. You could put Mickey Mouse on them.” The MPC board will dig into the issue after the first of the year, but it’s already generating a lively debate. When the subject recently came up on City Councilman Bob Jaffe’s listserv, the discussion generated approximately 45 e-mail messages between Dec. 4 and Dec. 9, in which locals piped up about parking peeves and preferences. One commenter on the listserv remarked, “I don’t like, do not want, will not agree in any manner to parking kiosks. They are difficult to use for anyone other than those with extra time, correct change, nothing in their hands, no small children in tow, or other encumbrances…Parking kiosks are a sign that you may have lost your senses.” Critics, including UM employee and Councilwoman Stacy Rye, claim pay stations frequently break and that tourists would have a hard time finding them. Plus, having to walking back and forth from one’s car to the pay station—especially during winter—is inconvenient.

“I’m not a fan,” Rye says. Not everyone, however, agrees with bashing kiosks. UM Public Safety Operations Manager Shelley Harshbarger, who oversees campus pay station maintenance, says the machines get a bad rap. They hold up until temperatures drop into the single digits, and when they break, she says it’s usually a quick fix. “These have been really reliable machines,” says Harshbarger. It seems everyone has a strong opinion, and that doesn’t surprise MPC Director Anne Guest. She’s worked in the position for 15 years and knows how passionate locals are about parking. “It affects everybody’s life,” she says. “It can be emotional.” Guest says the changeover will be implemented slowly to ensure it’s a good fit. “We’re going to be cautious with this,” she says. One long-shot solution would be what Hide & Sole proprietor Scott Sproull is pushing for: free parking. He believes twohour free parking in front of his Higgins Avenue storefront would make an immediate impact on his business. Sproull points to an inherent link between perceived parking availability and retail success. Barriers have contributed to the demise of urban centers across the nation, he says, pointing to a recent Missoula Downtown Business Improvement District study that cites parking challenges as a primary reason people avoid downtown. “The heart of my business can rise and fall on this,” he says. As downtown retailers compete with the mall and Reserve Street, where parking is free, Sproull maintains downtown businesses and customers alike would benefit from a new parking paradigm. He even suggests making up for the revenue lost from metered spaces by upping the price of city-leased parking spots. “It would be a nice experiment,” he says. “This is a real opportunity to do something for the customer.” As the discussion heats up, Winchell, who is accustomed to navigating an inherently antagonistic job with a smile, says it’s important everyone keeps one goal in mind. “You know what? We’ve got to be a community,” she says. “We’ve got to figure something out that benefits as many people as possible.” For local officials charged with making the decision, the meter is already running. jmayrer@missoulanews.com


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Stone cold Smurfit-Stone announces closure of Frenchtown mill

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by Alex Sakariassen

Nate Evans and Dougie Gibbs sit at the bar of the Frenchtown Club, backlit by a line of keno machines. Gibbs is in his early 50s, tall and lanky with a thick mustache. Evans, who celebrated his 61st birthday last week, looks a bit like Santa with his white hair and full white beard. But there’s nothing jolly about this scene. It’s just after 8 p.m. on Dec. 14, and Gibbs and Evans have two more weeks at Smurfit-Stone Container Corp.’s Frenchtown mill. The company announced the permanent closure of the facility to supervisors and union reps twelve hours

back tender…Where’s the closest paper machine? Idaho maybe? But there’s not a big call ’cause nobody quits. “Kids—it’s going to hit them hard because they won’t be able to go to work in Missoula.” Smurfit-Stone’s Division Vice President Larry Price and Director of Human Resources Jim Sanders delivered news of the closure at an 8 a.m. emergency meeting Monday. Operations will cease on Dec. 31, they said, and a limited number of employees will remain to help mothball the facility.

Photo by Alex Sakariassen

Smurfit-Stone Container Corp. announced the permanent closure of its Frenchtown linerboard plant Dec. 14. The shutdown, which goes into effect at the end of the month, puts 417 people out of a job.

ago. Like other mill workers, Gibbs and Evans say they’ve seen a full shutdown coming for years. Evans, a 32-year employee at the linerboard plant, admits he only half expected it to really happen. “It’s not like it’s a real shocking thing,” Evans says. “It’s a matter of how soon is it going to happen? Well, we’ve played nine innings and now we’re in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. Come Feb. 11 [when the benefits expire], we’re all done. We strike out. They’re going to shut ’er down.” Gibbs and Evans spend the next few minutes trying to tally how many gradual cutbacks they’ve seen at the mill over the years. Evans points out that the layoffs stretch beyond the 417 employees listed in Smurfit-Stone’s release. With earlier closures at the No. 1 and No. 2 machines, the number jumps to more than 600, he says. Many are older guys who, like him, could just take a financial hit and enter early retirement. He worries more about the young guys with wives, kids and houses. “Where do you go?” Evans asks. “There’s nothing in Missoula to go to. If you’re a back tender on a paper machine, there’s not a lot of call for a

Roy Houseman, at 28 one of the younger workers Evans referred to, was among the first to hear about the shutdown. As president of the United Steelworkers Local 885, he represents 342 unionized workers at the mill. He aims to fight for every transitional benefit he can win them during severance package negotiations on Jan. 5. “This is a good middle-class income job,” Houseman says. “You’re talking about over $50,000 a year. That’s the ability to raise a family and buy a house and do these things that are really important to a sustainable community in Missoula.” Houseman agrees that, while emotions ran high and reactions were varied, there was a limited amount of shock among the employees he spoke with. In the wake of Smurfit-Stone’s bankruptcy filing in January, the company has increasingly looked at the high-cost Frenchtown mill as a liability. “The decision was rooted in our commitment to the company’s long-term growth and profitability,” Smurfit-Stone spokesman Mike Mullin told the Independent. Smurfit-Stone is obligated under the f e d e r a l Wo r k e r A d j u s t m e n t a n d

Retraining Notification Act to maintain employee wages and benefits for the next 60 days. Workers could enter a twoyear retraining program aimed at giving them new workforce skills, and Houseman says he’s made the rapid introduction of Frenchtown employees into that program a priority. “We’re trying to ease into a devastating situation,” says Houseman, who was elected last month to represent Ward 2 in Missoula’s City Council. But the potential for reeducation does little to lighten the mood at the Frenchtown Club. It’s not that Gibbs and Evans feel betrayed, more that they feel victimized by a corporation. The Frenchtown mill doesn’t have the same family feel it did under previous owners, Evans says. “It’s not because we didn’t make [Smurfit-Stone] money, because we made them a lot of money,” he says, hinting at the $1.4 million in bonuses issued to the company’s top five executive officers in early January. “In order to eliminate a high-cost mill, they shut it down. That’s all they give a shit about. It’s not about the people who work there. It’s not about the years and the sacrifices people made out there. It’s all about the profit margin.” Evan’s wife Tess intervenes, trying to cool her husband down. She and Evans mark their 15th wedding anniversary on Dec. 17. They’re not depressed, Tess says. They just have to “regroup.” Evans inserts one more point before sliding $5 across the counter for another beer. Missoula can expect to see a ripple effect from the closure, the reach of which no one will be able to grasp for months. For instance, United Way states that contributions from Frenchtown mill employees have totaled more than $1.4 million since 1997. Houseman equates the losses in salary alone to an $18 million annual hit to the area’s economy. The big-picture issues only briefly come up at the Frenchtown Club. Those will have to be sorted out later, Gibbs says, and will be something the entire community must deal with. For now, he and Evans are stuck mourning the end of the mill and cursing the executives who decided to announce its fate 10 days before Christmas. “They were dying,” Gibbs says, “to get this fucking notification on a Christmas card: ‘Merry fucking Christmas, we’re shutting the mill down.’”

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Missoula Independent

Page 9 December 17–December 24, 2009


Beer Drinker’s Profile "Made For Walking"

Johnny Bigboots

Inside Letters Briefs Up Front Ochenski Range Agenda News Quirks

Clear connection Mill shutdown signals trouble for Tester bill

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Missoula Independent

This week marks two significant events in Montana: Smurfit-Stone announced the shutdown of its Frenchtown mill on Monday and Sen. Jon Tester’s logging bill gets a hearing in the U.S. Senate on Thursday. While these may seem disparate to many, the connection between them is obvious and painful: a receding economy means there’s simply no market for either the products of the plant or the legislation. While many are gnashing their teeth over the announced shutdown of Smurfit-Stone, the reality is that it’s been coming for a long time. The company, which produces a variety of paper and packaging products, announced that it would seek re-organization under bankruptcy laws in late January 2009 due to what its CEO said were high operating costs, the debt burden from prior mergers and weakened demand for packaging caused by a global economic recession. Much like Montana’s unfortunate experience with the former Montana Power Company, none of these conditions can or should be attributed to the hard-working employees of the company. The decision for the shutdown comes from far away, in the board room of a far-flung company that has, like so many others, fallen prey to the economic exigencies of the time. Ironically, Smurfit-Stone’s stock, which had fallen 83 percent when the bankruptcy proceedings were announced, came roaring back this week after the plant closures were reported. Once again, Wall Street profits while the “little people” bear the heavy burdens of its investment decisions. Montanans have seen unused rail cars stored along our rivers and byways for a couple years now as the demand for the products they once carried disappeared. If those rail cars haven’t been filled for that long, it should come as little surprise that eventually those who produce what once filled those cars will likewise be relegated to unused spur lines. Some might argue that timber supply is the culprit, not demand, but in light of the economic reality in the nation and world right now, that’s a feeble line of reasoning. Take this week’s Ravalli Republic article about the effect the Smurfit-Stone shutdown has on local logging operations as an example. After spending two years developing the project in the East Fork of the Bitterroot, there were no takers for the logs when they were offered

Page 10 December 17–December 24, 2009

for sale six months ago. “With Smurfit closing, there will be no place to go with some of this material,” the Forest Service’s Chuck Oliver told reporter Perry Backus. “Without a market for this smaller material, all of that stuff is going to go up in smoke,” Community Forester

A receding “ economy means there’s simply no market for either the products of the plant or the

legislation.

Byron Bonney added. “There’s nothing to do with it.” Jump now to Tester’s controversial Forest Jobs and Recreation Act, S. 1470. Although lacking the integrity to honestly identify the measure in its title, the bill actually creates 680,000 acres of new wilderness. But the wilderness comes at a price that many say is environmentally too high and economically unrealistic. On the environmental side, critics say the collaborators, who put the deal together largely in secret meetings, gave away far too many acres of roadless lands, released existing Wilderness Study Areas protected since the ’70s by Montana’s late Sen. Lee Metcalf, and allow such onerous provisions as military landings in wilderness, motorized sheep herding and permanently opening forest lands to off-road ATV use. Proponents counter that the measure also contains provisions for restoration of damaged watersheds funded by anticipated revenues from the mandated logging of about 100,000 acres of national forest lands. But there’s the rub. Besides the very bad idea of putting logging decisions on publicly owned national forests in local hands, how do you derive revenue from logging if there’s no

market for the timber? And as the closing of Smurfit-Stone so grimly illustrates, there is no market for the logs, the chips, or the products made from them. Adding to the problem is that the Forest Service already has hundreds of millions of dollars in restoration projects that remain unfunded—and are likely to remain unfunded in the foreseeable future. Somehow this economic reality has escaped Tester, who like so many in Washington, D.C., these days, seems to have succumbed to the opiate of power rather than the sometimes harsh tenets of reality. As he has said repeatedly in defense of his logging mandates, “the housing market will bounce back.” But a closer look reveals that foreclosures continue to pile up, not just creating the tragedy of driving people from their homes, but also ensuring that the existing glut of excess houses on the market is growing, not shrinking, every day. Then consider that 70 million Americans are baby boomers who are now entering retirement. That means, in almost all cases, that their consumption will go down along with their revenue, their health costs will rise, and their need for more homes will disappear, not grow. Some may hold out hope that the federal government will come riding to the rescue with “stimulus funds” to pay for the logging projects. But again, the harsh reality is that even with such funding, there’s still no market for the logs. Plus, our nation is already over $12 trillion in debt and Congress will now vote to raise the debt ceiling to $14 trillion, which they hope will suffice until after the next election cycle. Unfortunately, much of the new debt will go to the outrageously expensive military budget and the wars George W. Bush started and Barack Obama is continuing. Toss in the expensive but almost useless “health care reform” bill and spending hundreds of millions on forest restoration activities will likely, as it has in the past, come in very low on congressional priority lists. Smurfit-Stone’s corporate-mandated closure is a grim reality about which Montanans can do little except try to help the former workers. But Tester’s bill, based on economic fantasies, is another matter. You can submit testimony to the “Public Lands and Forest Subcommittee” online at energy.senate.gov. Helena’s George Ochenski rattles the cage of the political establishment as a political analyst for the Independent. Contact Ochenski at opinion@missoulanews.com.


Inside Letters Briefs Up Front Ochenski Range Agenda News Quirks

A wild year Setting the record straight on wilderness by Tim Lydon

It’s been a good year for wilderness. In March, the Omnibus Lands Bill designated over 2 million acres of wilderness in nine states. In September, President Obama declared a month-long celebration of the Wilderness Act, and this November, the United States, Canada and Mexico signed the world’s first international agreement on wilderness conservation. Perhaps because wilderness has been getting serious consideration in Washington, there’s been a backlash. Proposals for new wilderness areas— especially the big ones being debated in Utah and the Northern Rockies—become punching bags for those who regard wilderness as a four-letter word. Opponents say it blocks access, locks up resources and worsens fire problems. They claim it hinders local use of the land, reserving it for the rich and out-of-state. The criticisms offer an opportunity to set a few things straight. First, although some claim wilderness excludes people, it’s good to recall that Congress created the designation “for the use and enjoyment of the American people.” Early wilderness proponents were hunters, stock riders, hikers and other outdoor enthusiasts. Seeing how roads brought more and more cars and development to their favorite haunts, they were the ones who urged the government to preserve places where their admittedly small numbers could enjoy the public estate. In an age of rampant off-road vehicle traffic, I’m thankful for their efforts. Next, while wilderness is often painted as the creation of a liberal elite, the 1964 Wilderness Act passed with broad support in Congress. The final product was the work of both political parties, following eight years of debate. It was a compromise, born in the darkest days of the Cold War, when the specter of nuclear annihilation forced many to consider the physical and psychological val-

ues to the human spirit of undeveloped nature. The Wilderness Act recognized that, even in 1964, most of the American landscape was already developed. Truly remote places were becoming rare. The law decreed that certain federal lands

Many of us “ are realizing the truth of what John Muir said over a century ago— that going into wilderness is

going home.

with outstanding qualities of solitude and beauty would remain roadless and undeveloped. Today, the protection covers about 109 million acres, roughly 5 percent of the nation’s landmass. Early advocates knew that wilderness offered benefits aside from recreation. In the 45 years since the law’s passage, scientists seem to have never stopped learning about the importance of permanently protected roadless landscapes. Take our fire problem. It stems from a century of misguided fire suppression that led to crowded, fire-prone woods. Climate change, with its diminished snowpacks, enhances extended droughts. Added to the mix is too much sprawl and development, thanks to short-sighted Western communities. Astoundingly,

some blame wilderness for the fire problem, yet for decades, big wilderness areas like Sequoia-Kings Canyon in California and the Bob Marshall in Montana have provided a laboratory for experiments that will save millions of acres of unhealthy woods, not to mention many homes. Then there’s wildlife. Every year, it seems, another study demonstrates that grizzly bears and other animals require large intact areas in order to survive. In short, roads kill. With scientists such as E.O. Wilson warning that up to half of the Earth’s species could soon disappear, wilderness is more than ever a key to protecting wildlife, from grizzlies to butterflies. We also have wilderness to thank for dramatic improvements in air and water quality. In the mid-’70s, some of our most effective air-quality laws were inspired by the threat to clean air in parks and wilderness, and for tens of millions of us, wilderness also provided that last glass of clean water. Whether it’s a few thousand acres in Vermont or the immense Wrangell-Saint Elias in Alaska, wilderness always offers us the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves with the natural world that sustains us. Many of us are realizing the truth of what John Muir said over a century ago— that going into wilderness is going home. This message has critical importance in the 21st century, when the future of so much life is in the hands of humanity. In our era, it’s not the size or number of wilderness areas that will save life on earth; sadly, they will always be too small and fragmented for that. Instead, it’s the psychological and emotional impact that wilderness has on us. America needs wilderness to keep its soul alive. Tim Lydon is a contributor to Writers on the Range, a service of High Country News (hcn.org ). He writes in Whitefish.

Missoula Independent

Page 11 December 17–December 24, 2009


Inside Letters Briefs Up Front Ochenski Range Agenda News Quirks

As Christmas now rears its cheerful, consumer-driven head, it seems high time to take a moment away from our own materialistic interests in order to reflect on those in our community who have almost nothing. I’m talking about our neighbors who just lost their jobs or their homes, and all they want for Christmas is work and some essentials. Many of these folks are living in emergency housing provided by the YWCA of Missoula. And while they have temporary roofs over their heads, they still have needs. This includes one family who’s asking for clothing for a newborn baby, diapers, a baby swing, infant car seat and new tires for their car. A single mom is simply looking for socks and pants for her kids. Still others need help too. Caitlin Copple, marketing and communications coordinator for the YWCA, says clients are always in need of sleeping bags, sheets and towels, mittens, hats,

THURSDAY DECEMBER 17 Aspen Hospice of Montana is currently looking for volunteers to help offer comfort, pain relief and emotional support for those who are near the end of their lives. Call Lois at 642-3010. Are you running a nonprofit, or considering starting one? If so, don’t miss the Missoula Nonprofit Network workshop “Major Donor Management and Solicitation,” which runs from 11:30 AM–1 PM at the MonTec Conference Room, 1121 E. Broadway St. $10/free members of the Missoula Nonprofit Network. RSVP with Leah by e-mailing sits@mountainhomemt.org.

SATURDAY DECEMBER 19 If you have compulsive-eating problems, seek help and support with others during a meeting of Overeaters Anonymous, which meets this and every Sat. at 9 AM on the second floor of St. Paul Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St. Free. Visit www.oa.org. Those suffering from illness or loss can find solace during one of Living Art Montana’s Creativity for Life workshops at St. Paul Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St., at 10:30 AM. This week features the program “Holiday Image Play” with Odette Grassi. Free, but donations appreciated and accepted. Register by calling 549-5329 or visit livingartofmontana.org.

winter boots, non-perishable foods, art supplies for kids and even alarm clocks. So if you find yourself at the checkout line this week, consider throwing in a few extra items to help those who have trouble affording things many of us take for granted. —Ira Sather-Olson To donate goods to families through the YWCA of Missoula, contact Alice at 543-6691 or e-mail her at ajones@ywcaofmissoula.org.

Those looking to control their eating habits can get support from others during a meeting of Overeaters Anonymous, which meets this and every Mon. at 5:30 PM on the second floor of St. Paul Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St. Free. Visit www.oa.org. If you’re 18 or under and your life has been affected by someone else’s drinking, get support with others by joining the Al-Ateen 12-Step Support Group, which meets this and every Monday at 7 PM at First United Methodist Church, 300 E. Main St. Free, use alley entrance. Call 728-5818 or visit www.al-anon.alateen.org.

TUESDAY DECEMBER 22 Find the strength and will to survive in the company of others during a breast cancer support group at St. Francis Xavier Parish, 420 W. Pine, every first and third Tue. of the month at noon. Free. Call 329-5656. You can fight for peace in many different ways, but how about knitting for it? Find out when the group Knitting for Peace meets every Tue. from 1–3 PM at the Jeannette Rankin Peace Center, 519 S. Higgins Ave. Free. Call 543-3955.

SUNDAY DECEMBER 20

Missoula’s YWCA, 1130 W. Broadway, hosts weekly support groups for women every Tue. at 6:30 PM, where groups for Native women and children meet as well. New group members with children are asked to arrive at 6:15, without kids at 6:25. Free. Call 543-6691.

Missoula is a bona fide bike town. If you don’t have one already, you’ll be able to build your own recycled recumbent or four-wheel bike after you volunteer for two hours at Missoula Free Cycles, 732 S. First St. W., on Sundays at a TBA time. Call 800-8090112 to RSVP.

Those who have problems with anorexia or bulimia can find a shoulder to lean on during a meeting of Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, which meets this and every Tue. at 7:30 PM in the Memorial Room of St. Paul Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St. Free. E-mail abamissoula@gmail.com.

MONDAY DECEMBER 21

THURSDAY DECEMBER 24

Veterans can find support with trained facilitator Chris Poloynis every Mon. at 2 PM, when PTSD group Spartans Honour meets at the Missoula Veterans Affairs Clinic, 2687 Palmer St. Free. Call 829-5400.

Aspen Hospice of Montana is currently looking for volunteers to help offer comfort, pain relief and emotional support for those who are near the end of their lives. Call Lois at 642-3010.

AGENDA is dedicated to upcoming events embodying activism, outreach and public participation. Send your who/what/when/where and why to AGENDA, c/o the Independent, 317 S. Orange, Missoula, MT 59801. You can also e-mail entries to calendar@missoulanews.com or send a fax to (406) 543-4367. AGENDA’s deadline for editorial consideration is 10 days prior to the issue in which you’d like your information to be included. When possible, please include appropriate photos/artwork.

Missoula Independent

Page 12 December 17–December 24, 2009


Inside Letters Briefs Up Front Ochenski Range Agenda News Quirks

I N OTHER N EWS Curious but true news items from around the world

CURSES, FOILED AGAIN – Police captured Juventino Sanchez Jr., 57, who they said tried to break into a bank in Topeka, Kan., but got stuck in a rooftop exhaust vent and had to hang upside-down for as long as four hours. The Topeka Capital-Journal reported that police learned of his predicament when his daughter called to say she received word that her father was trapped from a family member who had reached him by cell phone. Firefighters used ropes to pull Sanchez out of the vent feet first. WHEN THE DO-NOT-CALL LIST ISN’T ENOUGH – Police arrested Daniel Adler, 61, for luring a telemarketer to his home to punch in the face. Investigators in Stony Point, N.Y., told WABC News that Adler was upset with being called by Sears Home Improvement telemarketers and reportedly scheduled an appointment, intending to tell them to place him on their do-not-call list. When the victim arrived, Adler cut up the telemarketer’s identification card and then hit him. RULES ARE RULES – Michigan authorities warned Lisa Snyder she faces a $1,000 fine and jail time for watching her neighbor’s three children until their school bus comes. Snyder told WZZM-TV News the bus arrives 15 to 40 minutes after the neighbors need to be at work. She said the Department of Human Services contacted her to say it had received a complaint she was operating an illegal childcare home and needed a license. A DHA official said the agency was only complying with state law. After authorities in Indiana’s Vermillion County arrested Sally Harpold, her police mug shot ran on the front page of her local newspaper with an article titled, “17 Arrested in Drug Sweep.” The grandmother of three was charged because she bought two bottles of decongestant cold medicine for family members that totaled 3.6 grams. State law limits purchases of medications containing ephedrine and pseudoephedrine, which are used to make methamphetamine, to 3.0 grams per week. The Clinton Tribune-Star reported authorities regularly check pharmacy records and arrest anyone who exceeds the limit because, Vigo County Sheriff Jon Marcel said, the law was enacted “for the good of everyone.” VANITY FOLLIES – After authorities in Birmingham, Ala., informed Scottie Roberson, 38, he owed the city more than $19,000 for unpaid parking tickets, the Huntsville resident explained he has been to Birmingham only once in the past five years. “Whenever I call, nobody seems to want to help me,” Roberson told the Birmingham News. “One woman said not to worry about it because they didn’t have the manpower to come arrest me.” After a year of receiving notices, he finally heard from city officials that the tickets were issued by mistake because his vanity plate is XXXXXXXX, which is what parking enforcement officers enter on citation forms for illegally parked vehicles without license plates. After a Welsh newspaper published a mug shot of Matthew Maynard, 23, wanted by police investigating a house burglary, the fugitive sent the paper a better likeness of himself standing in front of a police van. The South Wales Evening Post obligingly printed it on the front page. The police thanked Maynard, saying, “Everyone in Swansea will know what he looks like now.” TOUCH OF CLASS – A new Internet auction site aims to help down-on-their-luck millionaires by discreetly facilitating sales and trades of luxury assets, ranging from art and antiques to commercial properties, businesses and foreclosed homes, “so they don’t have to deal with the shame and or embarrassment of downgrade,” Quintin Thompson, co-founder of BillionaireXchange, told Reuters. “I would say that in the United States market, that’s probably the majority of the types of the transactions that we’re seeing right now.” Thompson said the Miami-based company, which completed a 10-month test phase before officially launching Nov. 9, requires prospective members to have at least $2 million in verifiable net worth. He added it already has 26,000 multi-millionaire members and “nearly a dozen” billionaires, among them professional athletes and A-list actors. STICKING TO THE SCRIPT – Charged with making 18 bomb threats to schools and hospitals in New South Wales, Australia, James Ronald Condren, 44, insisted his brother had made the calls. According to Sydney’s Daily Telegraph, Condren didn’t help his case when magistrate Kevin Maughn denied him bail by shouting, “There’s a bomb in the courthouse, everyone back away right now.” IT IS WRITTEN – Malaysian authorities confiscated more than 15,000 Bibles imported from Indonesia because they call God “Allah.” Both Indonesian and Malaysian languages use “Allah” as the translation for God in both Islamic and Christian traditions, but Malaysia has banned nonMuslims from using “Allah” in their writings, declaring the word is exclusively Islamic. CHEAP DATE OF THE WEEK – Police arrested Joshua Basso, 29, in Tampa, Fla., for repeatedly calling 911 looking to have sex with the dispatcher. The Associated Press said Basso told police he called 911 after he ran out of cell phone minutes because it was the only number he could dial. NEITHER SNOW NOR RAIN NOR OODLES OF NOODLES – Marie O’Kelly, 95, called police to report finding letter carrier Kristine A. Pflughaupt, 46, sitting on the floor of her kitchen in Marion, Iowa. “She was in uniform and had mail and a mail-carrying bag with her,” Lt. Steve Etzel told the Cedar Rapids Gazette, adding that Pflughaupt was using her hands to eat leftover noodles, which were running down her shirt. When O’Kelly asked her what she was doing, Pflughaupt didn’t answer. “She just kept eating those noodles,” O’Kelly said. LITIGATION NATION – Scott T. Zielinski, 23, currently serving an eight-year prison sentence after being convicted of robbing a party store in Clinton Township, Mich., filed a lawsuit seeking $125,000 from the store, its owner and three employees. After holding up the employees at knifepoint and threatening to kill them in order to steal cigarettes, liquor and $873 in cash, Zielinski claims the store workers chased him, shot him twice and beat him excessively. The Macomb Daily reported that Circuit Judge David Viviano ruled Zielinski could proceed with his suit but only after posting a $10,000 bond in case he loses and has to pay the defendants’ legal fees. EVIL IS AS EVIL DOES – Santiago Martinez, 28, got 50 years to life for killing his girlfriend and then received a death sentence for killing his new girlfriend because she refused to help him dispose of the previous girlfriend’s body. California Superior Court Judge Joan Comparet-Cassani, who sentenced Santiago to die by lethal injection for the second murder, called him “a savage beast” and “the face of evil.”

Missoula Independent

Page 13 December 17–December 24, 2009


Photo by Cathrine L. Walters

Missoula Independent

Page 14 December 17–December 24, 2009


I

don’t think I can quit coffee. I have been happily addicted to it for some seven years. Every morning it organizes the jumbled mess that is my brain. Without it, I’d feel lobotomized, which, I suppose, would be preferable to quitting coffee, since severing my prefrontal cortex might hurt less than a caffeine-withdrawal headache. But coffee’s not good for me. In fact, a lot of the things I eat and drink aren’t good for me. Never is this more apparent than during the holidays, when I, like most of us, can’t help but indulge in obscenely large platters of food and imbibe at scores of seasonal celebrations. That’s why I decided to try something different this year: For three whole weeks, stretching from before Thanksgiving into the heart of the Christmas season, I tried to turn my back on typical holiday fare and commence a cleansing program intended to improve my health and rid my body of its accumulated toxins. And, boy, are there a lot of toxins in our bodies. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has measured 212 chemicals in Americans’ blood and urine. This year, for its Fourth National Report on Human Exposure to Environmental Chemicals, the CDC discovered 75 chemicals for the first time. The study found some commonly used industrial chemicals in nearly every American tested, including fire retardants known as PBDEs; BPA, which is used to manufacture polycarbonate-type plastics like beverage containers; and PFCs, which are used to make products resistant to heat, oil, stains, grease and water. The CDC’s findings help explain why cleanses have become so popular, especially in enclaves of alternative medicine like Missoula. There are countless kinds of cleanses, with perhaps the most popular being the Master Cleanse, a method that calls for a week of consuming only a concoction of lemon juice and maple syrup, plus a daily salt water “flush” that triggers a sudden and involuntary purging of the bowels. My research, thankfully, revealed that such masochistic cleanses may not be the healthiest way to rid the body of toxins. Teresita Martinez, a naturopathic physician in Missoula, runs the Golgi Clinic with her partner, physician Jeffrey Friess. Martinez explained to me that many of the faddish cleanses can be more detrimental to the body than good, partly because of their narrow focus on detoxing only the liver. Instead, Martinez steers me toward the Golgi Clinic Cleanse, which, she explains, “addresses every organ of elimination—not just the liver, but every organ.” That means I’ll be addressing the gastrointestinal system, kidneys, lungs and skin. My cleanse will include not just lemony cleansing concoctions, but also a strict anti-inflammatory diet. I will also take probiotics and homeopathic remedies, explore the benefits of castor oil, rethink the way I breathe and chew food, and even cleanse my colon. Through it all, Martinez will act as my cleanse coach. Before I start, however, there’s one dirty piece of the process that I need Martinez to address. There’s no elegant way to say it, but cleanses typically foster keen attention to bowel movements. I have witnessed my fiancée, for example, just a few days into the Master Cleanse and a few minutes after drinking the salt water flush, evacuate uncontrollably all over our couch. “It was shooting out like a fire hydrant,” she recalls. (That couch, I feel com-

Photo by Cathrine L. Walters

Naturopathic physicians Teresita Martinez and Jeffrey Friess of Missoula’s Golgi Clinic developed the Golgi Clinic Cleanse to address every organ involved in detoxifying, including the liver, kidneys, lungs, skin and gastrointestinal system.

pelled to disclose, was later sold on Craigslist.) My brother, who cleanses about once a year, tells of having to run out of sales presentations and barely making it to the bathroom in time. Despite these cautionary examples, Martinez tells me not to worry. My comprehensive, long-term cleanse should be a little less, shall we say, rushed than some alternatives. As comforting as that sounds, I’m still faced with a daunting challenge: Three weeks of the holiday season devoid of my favorite indulgences, a strict daily regimen and a sudden attention to, of all things, my bowel movements. Happy holidays? Hardly. I can’t help but wonder, despite the mounting evidence in support of such cleanses, is this really going to be worth it? ••• This morning I had only one cup of halfregular, half-decaf coffee, a fraction of my usual morning intake. As I sit with Martinez in her office, listening and nodding as she gives me my first biology lesson since I got a C-minus in the class in college, I can feel the migraine brewing inside my head, bubbling up like a kettle before its piercing whistle. For two hours Martinez explains the science and reasoning behind my cleanse. She says when natural routes of elimination— liver, lungs, kidney, etc.—become imbalanced from the toxins we accumulate through stress, the air we breathe and the food we eat, the body chooses to force them out with inflammation. We often view these responses—like a skin rash or diarrhea—as signs of disease, but she explains that that’s not usually the case. It’s actually the process by which the body is seeking to restore a healthy balance. But disease can set in, Martinez says, when the root cause behind the inflammation isn’t addressed.

This derangement is synonymous with chronic dysfunction or disease, and without intervention may be the beginning stages of cancer.” The human body processes seven million chemical signals every second, she says. “So it’s easy to imagine,” she continues, “over the course of many years, how all of that waste can accumulate.” I wonder how intelligent—or how deranged—my trillions of cells are. And how would I know? “Seemingly random symptoms set in,” Martinez answers, “such as headaches, fatigue, unexplained skin rashes, a change in bowel movements, feeling more irritable or maybe more moody. They will have more upper respiratory infections. They just feel a bit off, foggy brained, a little confused. They don’t concentrate as well. Those are all signs that the body is not processing things as well as it should be, and I drink enough that the body isn’t being allowed to go through its processes normally.” of this protein At the end of her lecture, Martinez hands me a paper bag full of powders, supplement pills, drops and oils, plus a stack of every day to fill a instructions that explain all the foods I can and cannot eat. My cleanse coach 7-Eleven Big then sends me on my way. “Three weeks?” I ask meekly. Gulp, and actual“The reason we cleanse for three weeks is because it teaches you new ly come to enjoy habits,” she says. “It takes 21 days to create a habit. For some it may take less, for the taste. Photo by Cathrine L. Walters others it may take more, but it’s really well proven that it takes at least three weeks to get a habit engrained.” I pedal home with my pack over“The cell membrane,” Martinez says, “is the stuffed with cleansing goodies and my stomach basic principle behind why we cleanse. The cell anticipating that it won’t be overstuffed for a while. membrane has this intelligence to it and whenever it But I’m at least fueled by the challenge the cleanse lacks the ability to exchange normally, as toxic poses, the novelty of it. I’d soon find out the feeling buildup accumulates, the cell becomes deranged. wouldn’t last long. People typically respond to symptoms with shortterm solutions—like, say, taking Imodium for diarrhea—but continue to live in a way that makes inflammation possible. Such lifestyle choices can lead to chronic inflammation, which results in chronic disease. As Martinez explains this, she points to an image on her laptop of a human cell membrane under high magnification. She says that scientists have come to understand that cells are a much more complex, elegant and interwoven set of systems than we ever thought. Specifically, the membrane maintains a delicate balance of nutrients and waste. Disharmony for one cell, she says, can influence cells all over the body.

Missoula Independent

Page 15 December 17–December 24, 2009


••• On the first page of the Golgi Clinic Cleanse instruction manual is this Hippocrates quote: “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.” I understand it, I agree with it, but I’ve never fully acted on it. While I eat mostly local and organic foods, it doesn’t necessarily mean my diet is healthy. I tend to go on weeklong bacon binges, and I save the fat to fry my garden-grown potatoes and locally raised eggs. I spread butter or dollop sour cream on anything that might otherwise be healthy. (I’m the only person, as far as I know, who has smeared butter all over a Taco del Sol burrito and pan-fried it.) A gluten allergy has forced me to give up the beer and breads I used to consume copiously, but I still pile my gluten-free pizza high with salami and two layers of cheese, and wash it down with whiskey. I’ve enquired about a meal plan at Sa Wad Dee. I have an unhealthy, and nightly, relationship with Tillamook’s Chocolate and Peanut Butter ice cream. So I recoil when I see the list of foods I can’t eat for three weeks. They probably account for 80 percent of my diet. Here’s what’s off-limits: All pasteurized animal milks (yogurt okay) All pasteurized cheeses All corn products Potatoes—red or white Tomatoes Commercial eggs (organic okay) Citrus fruits (lemon/lime okay) All fruit juices All dried fruit Peanuts/peanut butter Pork and grain-fed meat Any processed food All fried foods All caffeinated teas, coffee (green and white tea okay) Alcohol Shellfish All gluten-containing grains The list of foods I have to better incorporate is considerably shorter: Steamed vegetables Fruit Fish Seeds and nuts Oils “The key points,” the instructions read, “are to eat fresh, unprocessed, whole foods. Eat vegetables of all colors daily along with lean meats and fish. When possible, eat local, seasonal and organic foods. Avoid all common inflammatory foods such as wheat (gluten), processed foods, dairy products, refined sugars, fried foods, alcohol and coffee. To promote healthy digestion, remember to chew your food well and avoid any beverages 15 minutes before and after meals.” The “chew your food well” part strikes me as particularly odd. I’m supposed to chew each bite of food 36 times. “You really want to churn it up so it’s easier to digest,” Martinez says. Apparently, everything that goes down the hatch needs to be the consistency of baby food. I think that if even my dog can master delayed gratification then I can, too. Then again, training him to be composed when there are treats in my hand required Prozac. There’s more to my new diet than just restrictions and chewing. I’m supposed to drink a table-

Missoula Independent

Photo by Cathrine L. Walters

Martinez and Friess prescribe me three different homeopathic remedies from the row shown above. I take them in a specific sequence three times a day to help detoxify my liver.

spoon of extra-virgin, cold-pressed olive oil every morning. That’s followed by the “Master Cleanser” drink, a mix of unfiltered apple juice, fresh-squeezed lemon juice, honey, grated ginger, salt and cayenne pepper in eight ounces of water. Plus, I’m to drink smoothies every day chock full of MediClear powder, a protein supplement used as an adjunct in liver and colon detoxification. (In all, the cleanse costs $295, including three consultations and all of the

times a day, take five drops of three different homeopathic remedies. Drink half of my body weight in ounces of water—about 85 ounces. I’m a beanpole already, and I wonder if this diet will have me wither away entirely.

••• The caffeine-withdrawal headache doesn’t fully manifest until the third day of the cleanse, which happens to be a Monday, a deadline day at the Indy. Beyond the creative constipation I’m suffering from, staring at a computer screen for eight hours as needle“About two weeks into the nose fish swim around my brain and poke my right eyeball—that’s how my migraines cleanse I face my biggest test. typically feel—is absolute misery. “There’s a huge effect that coffee has on the central nervous system,” Martinez It’s Thanksgiving Day and a tells me. “The body starts to shut down central nervous system in order to be guest brings an appetizer I can the able to accommodate all that stimulation, so it makes complete sense that your cononly surmise was sent by God centration would be less, though initially it does create a ramped-up effect.” By the end of the first week I fully deto test my will: chocolate tether myself from coffee’s clutch and settle into a nice routine. I’m helped largely covered bacon.” by the fact that the Master Cleanser drink—that mix of apple and lemon juice, grated ginger, honey and water—becomes more than a suitable coffee replacement. I make the supplements.) Other dietary instructions: Before meals, drink a beverage fresh every morning with piping hot water half spoon of organic apple cider vinegar (this gets and sip it, as I did my coffee, as I check my e-mail, my digestive enzymes flowing). Once a day, take a B play a few Scrabble turns on Facebook and head out vitamin supplement. Twice a day, drink a glass of with my dog to the park. It even—just like coffee— water with a teaspoon of probiotic powder. Three keeps me as regular as the rising sun.

Page 16 December 17–December 24, 2009

As for food, I’m surprisingly sated by my new regimen, which I largely attribute to the 100 grams of protein I dump in my fruit and yogurt smoothies every day. For breakfast, I typically eat toasted gluten-free fiber bread (without butter), an egg (not fried in bacon fat), and seeds and nuts (ground in my suddenly neglected coffee grinder) mixed in yogurt with berries. For lunch, I typically down a MediClear smoothie, eat a salad tossed with olive oil and apple cider vinegar, spoon out an avocado sprinkled with lime juice and salt, and maybe munch on a few glutenfree pretzels with mustard. At work, I snack on a mix of cashews, pumpkin seeds and Brazil nuts. For dinner, I eat lots of soup. My favorite becomes pureed winter squash, carrots and ginger added to stock. I also grill salmon, cook wild rice, and steam chard and spinach. Throughout the day, and especially after dinner, I sip Traditional Medicinals’ EveryDay Detox tea. I soon find my intense cravings for food before lunch and dinner are gone. My peaks and valleys in energy are also gone. My nighttime clenching and grinding (I spent $500 on a mouth guard a few months ago) seem diminished, as are the headaches they often cause. And, despite having to get up to go to the bathroom twice a night to rid myself of all those ounces of water, I’m enjoying nights of deep sleep. But while my energy levels seem to be more consistent, my endurance wanes during the first week of the cleanse. Martinez warned me this might happen, but it’s still surprising. I first notice it when pedaling just one mile to and from work. It’s more of an issue, though, while


hunting. I spend a Saturday up the Blackfoot with my friend Molly, and by noon, after a morning of trudging over hills and down into steep ravines, I’m wiped. Swigs of MediClear smoothie, pretzels, pumpkin seeds and Brazil nuts don’t energize me— not like Molly’s summer sausage and cheese would. My concentration leaves me, my footsteps become careless, and the chances of me getting a buck in my sights are nil. I make a case to call it a day. On our way out we spook about 10 cow elk. We don’t have the tags to shoot one (nor, I don’t think, could we have gotten a clean shot), but the thought alone of quartering one and dragging it to the car exhausts me. It leaves me wondering, once again, whether any of this is worth it.

miracle drug. It’s so easy to use. It’s by far the best thing we’ve ever run across.” Castor oil, a 4,000-year-old medicine derived from the castor plant, is a pro-inflammatory agent that seeps into the skin and improves blood flow to an area while also boosting the white blood cell counts, Martinez says. The pack is simply a saturated piece of cotton or flannel that you put on your stomach. I use a washcloth, and toss it in the oven for about 10 minutes at 200 degrees before applying it to give it an extra soothing effect. “Seventy percent of our immune system lies in the gut-associated lymphoid tissue or GALT found linked to the intestines,” Martinez says. “Each castor oil application stimulates the GALT, leading to more efficient blood filtration and improvement of digestive related disorders. It’s common for patients’ bowel movements to be much easier to pass, more formed.” For the record, I notice my bowel movements have been extremely well formed since starting the cleanse.

••• Stress, Martinez explains to me, is a big piece of how the body becomes clogged. In fact, she says, many physical manifestations start with a mental or emotional trigger. To deal with those emotions, and to isolate why I might feel a certain way, she recommends that I meditate. ••• “It’s hard to be physically sound and have a About two weeks into the cleanse I face my mental and emotional imbalance,” she says. The key to effectively meditating, she says, biggest test. It’s Thanksgiving Day and a guest brings an appetizer I can starts with simply only surmise was breathing well. Martinez and Friess sent by God to test “Deep breathmy will: chocolate ing,” she says, “is call castor oil a covered bacon. the culmination of It’s two of my a really good “miracle drug.” I favorite things in cleanse. Most peothe world brought ple are totally apply it to my together into one incredulous. ‘I can amazing dish. do that much abdomen every night There’s a cookie good for my body sheet full of them. just through to improve blood It taunts me. My breathing? I flow while also friends say they’re breathe all the delicious, but I time.’ It’s just that boosting white refrain. I imagine they’re not doing my expression it right.” blood cell counts. matches the sulkThe main purPhoto by Cathrine L. Walters ing dog’s, who pose of deep gets to enjoy even breathing, she explains, is to relax. A good, deep, conscious breath less of this spread than I do, and who scoffs at the expands the diaphragm and triggers the vagus rawhide we toss him as consolation. I beat back the urge to try chocolate covered nerve, part of the parasympathetic system responsibacon, but later, sitting with a dozen friends before ble for allowing the body to rest and digest. “What we find,” she says, “is that a majority a Thanksgiving smorgasbord of turkey (raised by of people overeat or are stressed or sleep badly. friends in Conrad), elk, potatoes, stuffing, gravy, Or they have concentration issues or mood issues, cranberries, green bean casserole, biscuits and salad, and that’s because they just don’t appreciate the my mind equivocates. If I’m going to cheat, I think benefits of a really good, deep breath and doing so to myself, this is the time. My friends say that if I lie in the story, they won’t tell. Lying isn’t an option, I regularly.” Martinez prescribes 100 deep, conscious say. I cheat just a little bit. I plop a spoonful of garbreaths every day: Breathe in through the nose for a count of five or until you feel your abdomen com- lic mashed potatoes on my plate and a little glutenpletely rise, hold for a count of one, then exhale free gravy to go with my turkey and elk—both through pursed lips for a count of eight. In her office allowed—and salad. To convey how little this dietary she has me stand up, put my hands on my stomach, infidelity does to quell my torment, I challenge and focus on making my belly expand as I inhale, everyone to chew the first bite of his or her Thanksgiving dinner 36 times. They can’t, of course. not just my chest. I take my conscious breaths at night before bed, Their uvulas—that fleshy thingy that hangs above the and use them as an opportunity to reflect, relax and throat that triggers the act of swallowing—are as zone out. After a few nights I find myself focusing on unruly as mine. Despite the potatoes, my friends give me nothmy breathing at work. Even when hunting, sitting silently against a tree as I watch the light of the ing but credit. I forgo the Bloody Marys I typically ascending sun inch down the ponderosa pines, I drink all Thanksgiving Day and sip my detox tea instead. I eat yogurt with nuts and raspberries for consciously belly-breathe. While I’m breathing at night, I also slap a castor dessert as everyone else stretches their stomachs with apple and pumpkin pie. I skip the post-meal oil pack on my stomach. “I’d say that Dr. Friess and I have two things that coffee. And I’m okay with all of it only because we use in the practice that are kind of our miracle another Thanksgiving tradition lives on—I succumb drugs, and this is one of them,” Martinez says as she to the tryptophan-induced stupor and doze off while motions to a bottle of castor oil. “It’s an $8 bottle of watching football.

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Missoula Independent

Page 17 December 17–December 24, 2009


flow of liquid. I bring it home, open it up and read bathroom door to spare my dog the sight. I follow ••• the directions, with an emphasis on the gently part. It’s the second-to-last day and Martinez meets the directions: As I’m lying in the tub, I’m full of two quarts of “Fill the syringe bag 2/3 full with warm water me again to evaluate my symptoms and discuss the reintegration of foods. During the consultation, she and enema preparation (if desired). Apply lubricat- water, plus some probiotic powder I added for good mentions that, if I’m really committed, a great way to ing jelly to enema pipe. Suspend syringe bag about measure. It feels like the gastrointestinal gravity of three feet above hips. Release clamp to expel air in eating two pan-fried Taco del Sol burritos followed end my cleanse would be to clean out my colon. by three Imodium. “Enemas,” she says, “are real“The idea is that you want ly helpful if you have an issue that water to be held in the colon with your colon or you just want Martinez says enemas for 5–20 minutes,” I remember to really do things full-on.” Martinez saying. As a journalist committed “are really helpful if So I stand up and shake a litto probing into even the hairiest you have an issue with tle, reasoning that my colon can of issues, I head to A&C Drug in be cleaned in the same way as an downtown Missoula and buy a your colon or you just emptied bottle of pasta sauce, “Fountain Syringe,” which is and go about my day. further described on the box as want to really do things But I’m back in the batha “personal hygiene and enema room in about four minutes, system.” full-on.” I begrudgingly unable to resist the incredible An enema, of course, is a pressure to purge. It comes out, procedure in which liquid is decide to end my “fullas my fiancée so eloquently put injected into the rectum to help it, like a fire hydrant. I take time expel its contents. Martinez says Photo by Cathrine L. Walters on” cleanse with one. to make sure I’m empty, then enemas are preferable to refill the bag with water and procolonics because colonics can biotics, lie back down in the tub, inflame the mucosa of the large tubing before inserting enema pipe…Recline in tub and do it again. This time, I’m able to hold it about intestine and deplete beneficial bacteria. “With colonics,” she explains, “the pressure of with knees drawn up. Gently insert lubricating 10 minutes before I have to speed-waddle to the the water can deplete microbes and alter electrolyte enema pipe into rectum. Release shut-off clamp to bathroom. I do it a third time, and decide that the water that comes out is probably about as clean as balance. Because the water flowing into your colon permit solution to flow gently.” The directions prompt me to lock the front and anything coming out of my colon can be. does so in a more forceful nature than, say, an I wash the enema pipe, thinking that I may enema would, we find that enemas tend to have less back doors of my house. I’m thinking how embarrassing—and inexplicable—it would be should a never again be so free of toxins in my life—and that of a depleting effect.” The enema system is simply a rubber bag, a pipe friend or neighbor decide to pop in and find me in I may reconsider ever doing something so “full-on” and a few feet of tubing with a clamp to stop the the bathtub with a tube up my ass. I even shut the again.

the

••• My cleanse officially ends at Red’s Bar, where I order a double Jameson on the rocks to wash down my Thai take out. But instead of the relief I expected, I feel guilty. It’s as if I’m undermining all the good I just did for my health and deranging all those little cells I just worked so hard to unclog. I don’t know if any of the 212 toxins the CDC says could be in my body have been released, but I do know that I feel better—and I didn’t even feel bad to begin with. That’s probably the most interesting thing. I suppose we are often satisfied enough with how we feel that we don’t strive to— or perhaps don’t even realize that we can—feel better. That understanding alone makes three weeks of counting my chews and self-administering an enema worth it. In fact, days after the cleanse is over I’m still largely sticking to the diet, even making MediClear smoothies now and then. Sure, I’ve fried up some eggs in bacon fat and eaten pizza, but all in moderation, and with less satisfaction than before. That feeling of change, as Martinez said, was the whole point of this exercise—to break some old habits and start some new, healthier ones. Most significantly, and at risk of disqualifying myself from being a Missoulian, I’m proud to report that I’m still drinking Master Cleanser and detox tea in the morning instead of coffee. Coffee schmoffee. I don’t even miss it. mfrank@missoulanews.com

dish

$$–$$$...$15 and over Blue Canyon Kitchen 3720 N. Reserve (adjacent to the Hilton Garden Inn) 541-BLUE www.bluecanyonrestaurant.com We offer creatively-prepared American cooking served in the comfortable elegance of their lodge restaurant featuring unique dining rooms. Kick back in the Tavern; relish the cowboy chic and culinary creations in the Great Room; visit with the chefs and dine in the Kitchen or enjoy the fresh air on the Outdoor Patio. Parties and special events can be enjoyed in the Bison Room. Hours: M-Th 11am10pm; Fr-Sa 11am-11pm; Sun 10am-10pm; Sun brunch 10am-2pm; Tavern til Midnight Su-Th, 2am Fr-Sa. $$-$$$ Ciao Mambo 541 S. Higgins Ave. 543-0377 Ciao Mambo, at the end of the Hip Strip on 4th and Higgins, serves up fresh, classic, immigrant style Italian food seven days a week. Terrific service and an extensive domestic and Italian wine list makes Ciao Mambo a hit for any occasion. Dinner only and take out service available. Ciaomambo.com or 543-0377. $$-$$$ Jakers 3515 Brooks St. • 721-1312 www.jakers.com Every occasion is a celebration at Jakers. Enjoy our two for one Happy Hour throughout the week in a fun, casual atmosphere. Hungry? Try our hand cut steaks, small plate menu and our vegetarian & gluten free entrees. Special senior menu & a great kids’ menu. For reservations or take out call 721-1312. $$-$$$ Korean Bar-B-Que & Sushi 3075 N. Reserve • 327-0731 We invite you to visit our contemporary Korean-Japanese restaurant and enjoy it’s warm atmosphere. Full Sushi Bar. Korean bar-b-que at your table. Beer and Wine. $$-$$$ Pearl Café & Bakery 231 E. Front St. • 541-0231 Country French Specialties, Bison, Elk, Fresh Fish Daily, delicious salads and appetizers. Breads and desserts baked in house. Reservations recommended for the warm & inviting dining

Missoula Independent

areas, or drop in for a quick bite in the wine bar. Now, you may go to our website Pearlcafe.US to make reservations or buy gift certificates, while there check out our gorgeous wedding and specialty cakes. Open Mon-Sat at 5:00. $$-$$$ Scotty’s Table 131 S. Higgins Ave. • 549-2790 Share a meal on our park side patio or within the warm elegance of our location at the historic Wilma Building. Enjoy our seasonal menu of classic Mediterranean and European fare with a contemporary American twist, featuring the freshest local ingredients. Serving lunch Tues-Sat 11:00-2:30, and dinner Tues.-Sat. 5:00-Close. Beer and Wine available. $$-$$$

$–$$...$5–$15 Biga Pizza 241 W. Main Street • 728-2579 Biga Pizza offers a modern, downtown dining environment combined with traditional brick oven pizza, calzone, salads, sandwiches, specials and desserts. All dough is made using a "biga" (pronounced bee-ga) which is a time-honored Italian method of bread making. Biga Pizza uses local products, the freshest produce as well as artisan meats and cheeses. Featuring seasonal menus. Lunch & dinner. Beer & Wine. Mon-Sat. $-$$ The Bridge Pizza Corner of S. 4th & S. Higgins Ave. 542-0002 Dine-In, Drive-Thru, Delivery... Truly a Missoula find. Popular with the locals. Voted Missoula's best pizza. Everything from hand-tossed, thin-crust, stone deck pizza to wild salmon burritos, free-range chicken, rice bowls, ribs, pasta, salads, soups, sandwiches & "Pizza by the Slice." And now offering gluten-free dough. Local brews on tap and wine by the glass. Open every day for lunch & dinner. $-$$ Food For Thought 540 Daly Ave 721-6033 Missoula “Original” Coffeehouse/Cafe located across from the U of M campus. Serving breakfast and lunch seven days a week. Also serving cold sandwiches, soups, salads, baked goods and an espresso bar til close. Mon thru Thurs 7am - 3pm Fri & Sat 7am - 3pm Sun 8am - 3pm. www.thinkfft.com $-$$

Page 18 December 17–December 24, 2009

Good Food Store 1600 South 3rd West 541-FOOD Our Deli features all natural made-to-order sandwiches, soup & salad bar, olive & antipasto bar, fresh deli salads, hot entrees, rotisserie-roasted free-range chickens, fresh juice, smoothies, organic espresso and dessert. Enjoy your meal in our spacious seating area or at an outdoor table. Open every day 7am - 10pm. $–$$ Hob Nob on Higgins 531 S. Higgins • 541-4622 Come visit our friendly staff & experience Missoula’s best little breakfast & lunch spot. All our food is made from scratch, we feature homemade corn beef hash, sourdough pancakes, sandwiches, salads, espresso & desserts. We also offer catering. www.justinshobnobcafe.com MC/V $-$$ HuHot Mongolian Grill 3521 Brooks • 829-8888 At HuHot you’ll find dozens of meats, seafood, noodles, vegetables and homemade sauces for the timid to the adventurous. Choose your favorites from the fresh food bars. You pick ‘em…we grill ‘em. We are as carnivore, vegetarian, diabetic, lo-salt and low-carb friendly as you want to be! Start with appetizers and end with desserts. You can even toast your own s’mores right at you table. A large selection of beer, wine and sake’ drinks available. Stop by for a great meal in a fun atmosphere. Kid and family friendly. Open daily at 11 AM. $-$$ Hunter Bay Coffee hunterbay.com • 800-805-2263 Missoula’s only local roaster since 1991! We use award-winning coffee recipes and traditional European small-batch roasting techniques to create our premium coffees. Hunter Bay’s gourmet coffees and unique coffee gifts are available locally and on the web. For freshly roasted coffee delivered to your door, join Hunter Bay’s Coffee of the Month Club! www.hunterbay.com/products/coffee-club. Iron Horse Brew Pub 501 N. Higgins • 728-8866 www.ironhorsebrewpub.com We're the perfect place for lunch, appetizers, or dinner. Enjoy nightly specials, our fantastic beverage selection and

friendly, attentive service. Not matter what you are looking for, we'll give you something to smile about. $-$$ Iza Asian Restaurant 529 S. Higgins Ave. 830-3237 www.izarestaurant.com All of our menu items are made from scratch and we use no MSG products. Featuring dishes from Thailand, Japan, Indonesia, Korea, Nepal, and Malaysia. Extensive hot and ice tea menu including bubble tea. Join us in our Asian themed dining room for a wonderful IZA experience. Open Mon-Sat, lunch and dinner. $-$$ Liquid Planet 223 N. Higgins Ave. 541-4541 From Latté to Lassî, Water to Wine, Tea Cup to Tea Pot, Liquid Planet has the best beverage offering this side of Neptune -- with a special focus on all-natural, organic, and sustainability. Their distinctive and healthy smoothie menu is worth the visit too! Quick and delicious breakfast and lunch is always ready to go; pastries, croissants, bagels, breakfast burritos, wraps, salads, and soups. Open 8 am to 10 pm daily. $-$$ Orange Street Food Farm 701 S. Orange St. 543-3188 Don't feel like cooking? Pick up some fried chicken, made to order sandwiches, fresh deli salads, & sliced meats and cheeses. Or mix and match items from our hot case. Need some dessert with that? Our bakery makes cookies, cakes, and brownies that are ready when you are. $-$$ Paul’s Pancake Parlor 2305 Brooks 728-9071 (Tremper’s Shopping Center) Check out our home cooked lunch and dinner specials or try one of 17 varieties of pancakes. Our famous breakfast is served all day! Monday is all you can eat spaghetti for $6.95. Wednesday is turkey night with all of the trimmings for $6.95. Eat in or take-out. M-F 6am-7pm, Sat/Sun 7am4pm. $–$$.


Light Up Your Holidays

BUTTERFLY HERBS

COFFEES, 232

N.

TEAS

HIGGINS

&

THE

AVENUE

UNUSUAL

DOWNTOWN

the Red Robin 2901 Brooks Street 830-3170 www.redrobin.com Half the price, twice the fun! Halfy Hour at the Southgate Mall Red Robin®! Half price bar drinks Monday – Friday, 4-6 p.m. and Monday – Saturday, 9-10 p.m. Enjoy a drink with one of our insanely delicious Gourmet Burgers, Bottomless Steak Fries. Or, snack on one of our shareable starters with friends! $-$$ SA WAD DEE 221 W. Broadway 543-9966 Sa-Wa-Dee offers traditional Thai cuisine in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. Choose from a selection of five Thai curries, Pad Thai, delicious Thai soups, and an assortment of tantalizing entrees. Featuring fresh ingredients and authentic Thai flavors-no MSG! See for yourself why Thai food is a deliciously different change from other Asian cuisines. Now serving Beer and Wine! $-$$ Sean Kelly’s 130 West Pine 542–1471 Located in the heart of downtown. Open for Lunch and Dinner, featuring a Sat.Sun. Brunch 11-2pm. Great Fresh food With Huge Portions. Featuring locally produced specials as well as international cuisine and traditional Irish fare. FULL BAR, BEER, WINE, MARTINIS, 100% SMOKE FREE. "Where the Gaelic and the Garlic Mix!" $-$$ Staggering Ox 1220 SW Higgins 542-2206 123 E Main 327-9400 Home of the famous Clubfoot Sandwich - unique, portable, delicious! We serve fantastic sandwiches on fresh-baked bread. With two convenient locations, it’s easy to call in your order and pick it up on your way to play. $-$$ The Stone of Accord 4951 N. Reserve St. 830-3210 Serving Award Winning Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinners 7 days a week! All of your

favorite Irish classics, plus a daily selection of Chef's specialties. A fully stocked bar, wine and liquor store and the Emerald Casino make The Stone of Accord the perfect place for an enjoyable meal. 6:30am2:00am $-$$ Uptown Diner 120 N. Higgins 542-2449 Step into the past at this 50's style downtown diner. Breakfast is served all day. Daily Lunch Specials. All Soups, including our famous Tomato Soup, are made from scratch. Voted best milkshakes in Missoula for 14 straight years. Great Food, Great Service, Great Fun!! Monday - Sunday 8a.m. 3p.m. $-$$ Westside Lanes 1615 Wyoming 721-5263 Visit us for Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner served 8 AM to 9 PM. Try our homemade soups, pizzas, and specials. We serve 100% Angus beef and use fryer oil with zero trans fats, so visit us any time for great food and good fun. $-$$ What’s For Dinner Meal Delivery Service 406-207-2203 Delicious, affordable meals delivered to your door. Fresh dinner menu changes weekly, frozen dinner and dessert menus change monthly. Order by noon on Monday, deliveries are made Tuesday. Meals start at only $7.50 per portion. Menus and ordering available at www.WhatsForDinnerMissoula.com $-$$

$...Under $5 Bernice’s Bakery 190 South 3rd West 728-1358 Where Myrtle Avenue ends at Bernice's, a tiny bakery sits as a veritable landmark to those who enjoy homestyle baked goods, strong coffee, community, and a variety of delicious treats. Join us for lunch if you'd like. Crazy delicious. Crazy cheap. 30 years and still baking. Open Every Day 6AM to 8PM. $

dish

Butterfly Herbs 232 N. Higgins 728-8780 Celebrating 37 years of great coffees and teas. Truly the “essence of Missoula.” Offering fresh coffees, teas (Evening in Missoula), bulk spices and botanicals, fine toiletries & gifts. Our cafe features homemade soups, fresh salads, and coffee ice cream specialties. In the heart of historic downtown, we are Missoula’s first and favorite Espresso Bar. Open 7 Days. $

Cold Stone Creamery Across from Costco on Reserve by TJ Maxx & Ross 549-5595 Yes, Virginia, there is a ColdStone! No holiday party is complete without ColdStone's homemade ice cream, cakes, cupcakes, or pies; and our giftcards will help you spread the joy to everyone on your list - naughty or nice! It's a Great Day for Ice Cream. Happy Holidays! $-$$

Indulge Bakery 700 SW Higgins Ave 544-4293 indulgebakery.wordpress.com Now open! Enjoy international flavors from baci di dama to pizzelles, gourmet cupcakes, scones and decadent cinnamon rolls. Specialty breads hot and fresh between 3 and 5pm daily. Open M-F 7am-6:30pm; Sat. 9am-4pm See us on Facebook! Holiday special orders available and coming soon: Santa photos and cupcakes for charity! Call to find out more (406)523-3951. $

Le Petit Outre 129 South 4th West 543-3311 Twelve thousand pounds of oven mass…Bread of integrity, pastry of distinction, yes indeed, European hand-crafted baked goods, Pain de Campagne, Ciabatta, Cocodrillo, Pain au Chocolat, Palmiers, and Brioche. Several more baked options and the finest espresso available. Please find our goods at the finest grocers across Missoula. Saturday 8-3, Sunday 8-2, Monday-Friday 7-6. $

Missoula Independent

Page 19 December 17–December 24, 2009


Times Run 12/18 - 12/24

Cinemas, Live Music & Theater

by Ari LeVaux

We will be CLOSED Christmas Eve (12/24).

The hunting hangover

Precious (R) Nightly at 7:00 and 9:00 Sunday matinee at 1:00 and 3:00 FULL BAR AVAILABLE

New York, I Love You Nightly at 7:00 • Sun matinee at 1 Will NOT show Saturday (12/19)

131 S. Higgins Ave.

A Serious Man

Downtown Missoula

Nightly at 9:00 • Sun matinee at 3 Will NOT show Saturday (12/19)

www.thewilma.com

Mon-Fri

7am - 4pm (Breakfast ‘til Noon)

Sat & Sun

8am - 4pm (Breakfast all day)

406-728-2521

Great Food No Attitude.

531 S. Higgins

541-4622 www.justinshobnobcafe.com

We're The Perfect Place To Sit, Sip, Meet and Eat! www.thinkfft.com Sun-Thurs 7am - 3pm • Fri & Sat 7am - 3pm Sun 8am - 3pm • 540 Daly Ave • 721-6033 Missoula’s Original Coffeehouse/Cafe. Across from the U of M campus.

Missoula Independent

One of my oldest memories is seeing my father walking in the front door after his first time hunting. I was only 3 years old, but I remember his bright hunter orange. Even more striking was another, much brighter glow emanating from within him. Dad’s hunting career was short-lived, consisting of three fruitless attempts. The fact that it wasn’t a regular part of our routine makes it all the more significant that I remembered it. And it’s revealing that at 3 years old I even understood the concept of hunting. To understand hunting requires knowing what meat is, that it comes from dead animals, and that hunters go out in search of wild animals to kill and eat. That’s a lot for a kid to learn in three years of life. It’s hard to believe, in fact, unless you believe, like I do, that I was born with this understanding. When I saw Dad walk in the door, it was like a hammer striking a bell inside of me. Like my appendix, this bell is part of my structural makeup and had thus far gone unused. And like my appendix, I’d have it even if I never used it. But unlike my appendix, this understanding exists in every strand of DNA in every cell, and isn’t so easily removed. As another hunting season winds down, the hunting hangover weighs heavy upon those who still heed the call. As our bodies make the switch from cold forest to warm hearth, we dig in for the winter—hopefully with a stash of meat to chew on—but stronger and enriched regardless. The rewards of hunting go far deeper than the belly. It’s an ancient itch we scratch, often until it’s completely raw and bleeding. To not scratch this itch would leave us feeling incomplete. When I saw Dad walk through that door, the history of our species followed him in like a gust of cold air. My filial love was augmented by reverence at the realization that my dad was a hunter, and it didn’t seem to matter if he was “successful.” What mattered is that he did it. Why does this matter?

Ask Ari:

Today, few of us have parents that ever hunted. It’s more likely that their parents did, and less likely that our children will. This places us in the middle of a widening disconnect between generations that hunt and generations that don’t. It’s happening right now, as modern life continues to replace habitat with feedlots, and our existence heads steadily indoors. If the drive to hunt is in danger of becoming vestigial, like the appendix, that would be tragic. But fortu-

nately, that’s not going to happen any time soon. Unlike the appendix, hunting still serves a purpose. The body of evidence pointing to the importance of hunting in our history is broad and deep. Hunting provided our ancestors a concentrated form of energy that allowed our brains to develop. Hunting, along with the acquisition of fire, helped our ancestors migrate north from Africa during an Ice Age. Hunting helped drive the development of tool making, the understanding of physics and the refinement of art. But the importance of hunting in our past doesn’t explain why we continue to hunt. This is a question with as many answers as there are hunters.

Some do it for the food, though there are many other ways of acquiring meat—nearly all of which are cheaper and easier. Some do it for the antlers, a motivation I understand but don’t personally feel. Some do it for the intellectual and visceral understanding that hunting makes you a part of your ecosystem, a player in the predator/prey relationships of your home ground. Nearly all hunters would agree that the experience of hunting, of being outside, alert and struggling against the elements, is a reward in itself. Pe r h a p s t h e m o s t t a n g i b l e rewards, aside from meat or trophy, are the charged moments when you see your prey, and are in active pursuit. The instant that prey is spotted is especially powerful. It’s a kind of shock therapy that snaps you back to the crucible that shaped our species. The pictures drawn on the walls of caves, such as Lascaux in France, are some of the oldest art in the world. They represent an archetype related to what I felt when I saw my dad come back from hunting. Those pictures embody the electric moment when game is spotted. You’re scanning a distant hillside, binoculars covering ground that would take hours on foot. As your field of view passes over the shape of an animal in a clearing, a buzzer goes off in your soul. The shape of an animal, hardly different from those simple, ancient cave drawings, is like a flashing buzzer that triggers a wave of adrenaline and focus as timeless and powerful as a bolt of lightning. The bolt passes through you and through your ancestors, connecting you to them like chunks of meat on an electric shish kebab skewer. This connection completes a circuit between past and present, earth and blood, flesh and energy. Closing this circuit is what made my father glow brighter than his hunter orange. This is why we hunt.

Frozen stuck

Dear Flash, In a recent cold snap my garlic and winter squash harvest froze in my unheated garage. It remains frozen. Is this a bad thing? If so, what can I do to salvage/preserve what’s left of it? —Freeze Frame

Q

It’s not ideal, Freeze Frame. Garlic stands a better chance of withstanding a freeze if it has already sprouted, such as the garlic that you’ve (hopefully) planted for next year’s harvest. As for your frozen stored garlic, I suggest

A

Page 20 December 17–December 24, 2009

keeping it frozen while you thaw one head and test it. If it appears unscathed, with firm, supple body and strong flavor, then thaw the rest. Do it slowly but ASAP, and don’t let it freeze again. If the thawed test garlic shows damage, your best option is to keep it frozen, because that will at least stabilize the condition, while thawing it now will give it time to deteriorate in the coming months. The same goes with squash. Thaw one out and see if it appears like normal raw squash. If it’s fine, give your brow a relieved wipe with the back of your hand, thaw the rest of your squash and don’t let it freeze again. But if the test squash thaws mushy, you

should thaw the rest and cook it, either by steaming or baking. Freeze the cooked squash until you’re ready to use it. Because of the damage incurred by freezing, the squash won’t be as versatile as it was. But even though it will have lost some of its body and texture, and you won’t be able to stuff it, or add chunks to your breakfast taco, the twice-frozen, once-cooked squash will still perform adequately in soup, pie or pureed mush on the side of your plate. Send your food and garden queries to flash@flashinthepan.net


Arts & Entertainment listings December 17–December 24, 2009

8

days a week

THURSDAY December

17

Help keep others in Missoula from going hungry by donating either non-perishable food items or money to the Missoula Food Bank, 219 S. Third St. W., during its annual holiday drive, which lasts through Dec. 23. Drop off times are: Mon.–Tue. from 8 AM–7 PM and Wed.–Fri. from 8 AM–3 PM. Call Nick Roberts at 549-0543. Beat the flu—including the swine and seasonal flu—during H1N1 and seasonal influenza vaccine clinics which run from 9 AM–4 PM at the Flathead City-County Health Department, 1035 First Ave. W. in Kalispell. $25 adults for seasonal flu vaccine/$15 for kids ages 18 and under for seasonal flu vaccine. H1N1 vaccine is free of charge. Call 751-8100. Help others in need around the holiday season by donating blankets, non-perishable food items, sheets, towels and other items to YWCA Missoula. To donate, call Alice at 543-6691. (See Agenda in this issue.) Kids seize tips on maintaining a good set of pearly whites during Afterschool Adventures: Healthy U featuring “the Dentist” at the Children’s Museum of Missoula, 225 W. Front St., at 3 PM. $4.25/free under age 1. Call 541PLAY to register. Mind expansion results when your kid learns about sound compression waves and creates a symphony of sounds using unconventional instruments during the activity SpectrUM Discovery Area Open Hours: Sound, which runs from 3:30–7 PM in Room 166 of UM’s Skaggs Building. $3.50/free ages three and under. Visit spectrum.umt.edu. Help your kid between the grades of seven to nine become the next Margaret Atwood at Scribbles, a new writers’ group that meets at 4 PM at the Missoula Public Library, 301 E. Main St. Free. Call 721-BOOK.

Heidi Meili Steve Fetveit Country artist Kathy Mattea performs an interpetation of the nuclear apocalypse when she plays Sat., Dec. 19, at 8 PM at the Hamilton Performing Arts Center, 327 Fairgrounds Road in Hamilton. $38.

nightlife Thin pieces of wood will be blown to twofold perfection when A Double Reed Christmas performs at 5 PM at Clock Court in Southgate Mall, 2901 Brooks St. Free, followed by performances by the Missoula Strings on Tour at 6, VSA Choir at 7 and pianist Janean McBride-Rowland at 7:30 P M. Call 721-5140. Free your mind with others in order to wrap your head around the spiritual philosophy of anthroposophy during a Waldorf School/Anthroposophy Study Group which meets this and every Thu. at 5 PM at 1036 Cherry St. Free to attend. For questions about childcare during the meeting, call Nancy at 728-7309 or Becca at 829-0542.

Explore the expressionist artworks of the late Freeman Butts while sauntering to the twang of Bob Wire during Artini: Gifts, which runs from 5:30–9 PM at the Missoula Art Museum, 335 N. Pattee St. Free. Includes discussion on expressionism by MAM registrar Ted Hughes at 6 PM. Call 728-0447. If you witnessed last week’s “calendar girls competition” at Harry David’s Bar, 2700 Paxson St. Ste. H, now’s your chance to check the photo shoot for the calendar, which starts at 6 PM at the bar. Free to attend. Call 830-3277. end your event info by 5 PM on Fri., Dec 18, to calendar@missoulanews.com. Alternately, snail mail the stuff to Calendar Playa c/o the Independent, 317 S. Orange St., Missoula, MT 59801 or fax your way to 543-4367.

S

We're proud to be part of a team that is committed to earning your trust.

For everyone on your list . . . AROMATHERAPY DIFFUSERS BATH & BODY STOCKING STUFFERS GIFT BASKETS TEAPOTS & MUGS BOTANICAL CANDLES ESSENTIAL OILS GIFT CERTIFICATES

20% Off Your Purchase Sunday Dec. 20 Open 12-5 (excluding Dr. Hauschka) 180 S. 3rd W. next to Bernice's M-F 10-6 Sat 11-5 728.0543

Missoula Independent

Page 21 December 17–December 24, 2009


Piano and tranquil vocals mix majestically with barley and hops when Danielle Oliver plays Hamilton’s Bitter Root Brewery, 101 Marcus St., at 6 PM. Free. Call 363-7468.

pop and mashed-up tunes hit the Badlander every week where Dead Hipster DJ Night gets the booties bumpin’ and the feet stompin’ at 9 PM. $3.

Celebrate the darkest part of the year with members of Hamilton’s Two Creeks Community School during its Seventh Annual Winter Solstice Celebration, which starts at 6:30 PM at the Two Creeks Campus, 258 Roosevelt Lane in Hamilton. Free. Includes a short program highlighting seasonal traditions, a fire, and holiday treats. Also bring folding chairs and blankets, as the celebration takes place outdoors. Call 363-4740 or 821-0885.

Impress your friends, significant other, or anyone who will listen when you rock the karaoke mic at Harry David’s, 2700 Paxson St. Ste. H, which is back in action with free karaoke at 9:30 PM, Sun.–Thu. each week. Call 830-3277.

Does your philosophical outlook mirror that of Nietzsche or Kirkegaard? Find out during Socrates Café, a philosophy discussion group at the Missoula Public Library, 301 E. Main St., at 7 PM. Free. Call 721-BOOK.

Cross your karaoke sword with others under the influence of that music box you sing along to during Combat DJ and Karaoke nights, this and every Thu. at the Press Box, 835 E. Broadway St., at 10 PM. Free.

Intertwine yourself with a foreign film that touches on biological diversity, sexual behavior and more when the Bitterrot Public Library presents a screening of The Country Teacher at 7 PM at the library, 306 State St. in Hamilton. Free. Call 363-1670.

He’ll cure your tremors with a sweet shot of country: Russ Nasset hits up the Old Post, 103 W. Spruce St., for a solo set this and every other Thu. at 10 PM. Free.

You’ve seen his work on posters for Total Fest, The International Playboy’s last gig and other rock shows. Now you can see the latest works by Seattle artist Tom Dewar when he shows his wares and hawks them to willing buyers at the Palace at 7 PM. Free to attend. Visit gigposters.com/designer/10288_Tom_ Dewar.html. (See Scope in this issue.) Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $12, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmas present.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM.

IT’S A DATE! NEW DIGS Grand Opening Bash Jan 10th - Hope to see you there! Climate-controlled play area 1200-sq foot K9Grass ™ yard Separate lounge for older or shy dogs Brand-new overnight spaces Small play groups, fully supervised

Wrap your hearing around a sonic representation of the Griz’ recent football game against Weber State during “The Fifth Largest City in Montana,” a phonography concert by students of the UM Media Arts sound design class at 8 PM, at the Masquer Theatre in UM’s PARTV Center. Free. The piece is comprised of field recordings from various locations around Missoula during the game. Call Dale at 718451-6178. Bowling and karaoke go together like health care reform and Democrats having a spine during Solid Sound Karaoke at Westside Lanes at 8:30 PM. Free. Call 541-SING. Bassackwards Karaoke turns your world underside-up every Thu. at 9 PM at Deano’s Casino on Airway Boulevard. Free. Call 531-8327. Now’s your time to juggle a beat with your feet in a cavernous setting when DJ DC rocks the AmVets Club with hits starting at 9 PM. Free. Clench your face muscles in preparation for some heavy bass therapy during Bass Face Round 3, a dance party featuring dubstep, hip-hop, downtempo and other bass-friendly electronic styles at 9 PM at the Top Hat. Free. Features sets by Bight Club, Larva Ink, Ebola Syndrome and more. Feel free to flail around like a rockstar whilst busting out your best version of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” during karaoke at Deano’s Casino near Airway Blvd., 5318 W. Harrier, this and every Thu. at 9 PM. Free.

901 South 2nd Street West • quickpaws.net • 721-1943 Missoula Independent

Page 22 December 17–December 24, 2009

Join several hundred people and revel in the glory of debauchery when cheap well drinks and laptop-fueled hip-hop, crunk, electronic,

Dance with a cougar or two, or not, every Thu. at 10 PM when the James Bar, 127 W. Alder St., hosts The Social Club, featuring DJ Fleege spinning an expansive array of tech house and progressive electro dance tunes. Free.

Leave the kids at home in order to enjoy a night of Christmas carols, holiday songs and more that disregard popular culture and feature a scantily clad cast during the Montana Actors’ Theatre’s Late Night Cabaret: I Saw Mommy Spanking Santa Claus, with a performance at 10 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $7. Visit mtactors.com or call 239-7060. (See Spotlight in this issue.)

FRIDAY December

18

The Missoula Public Library hosts a preschool storytime geared toward children 3–6 years old every Fri. at 10:30 AM. This week, Khadija: The First Muslim and the Wife of the Prophet Muhammad by Resit Haylamaz. Just kidding. (Did I need to tell you that?) Free. Call 721-BOOK. If you can’t read this, perhaps you’re simply pre-literate, in which case the Missoula Public Library wants you for Tiny Tales, a movement, music and singing program for babes up to 36 months at 10:30 AM every Thu., Fri. and Tue. Free. Call 721-BOOK. I’m not sure who it is, but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s a bulky, jollier than normal man. So don’t miss a special holiday guest visit during the Missoula Public Library’s Story Time program at 10:30 AM at the library, 301 E. Main St. Free. Call 721-BOOK. Invigorate that spine of yours during a Classical Pilates Mat Class taught by Alison Laundrie every Fri. at Main Street Pilates, 214 E. Main St., at 11 AM. $12. RSVP 541-2673. The Clinton School Band toots its own horns at 11:30 AM, while Myrt White gives the piano something to vibrate strings about at 1 PM, all at Clock Court in Southgate Mall, 2901 Brooks St. Free. Call 721-5140.

nightlife Mixed media pieces hit you in your art appreciation glands when local artist James Halvorson presents his exhibit titled Collections and Variationa with an opening reception from 5–8 PM at The Framing Studio, 411 E. Alder St. Free. E-mail por.gallery@gmail.com or call 396-4486. (See Spotlight in this issue.)


Upcoming Griz Basketball Games Celebrate the resurrection of Missoula’s all ages music venue Higgins Hall, 617 S. Higgins Ave., with rock heavy enough to kill a hoard of houseflies when Polson’s Flyswatter plays with locals Celestial Chaos at 7 PM. $5, with a $5 re-entry fee. Call Clay at 319-2569.

night, brought to you by Karaoke by Figmo, every Fri. and Sat. night at 9 PM. Free.

Join your hippie tonk brothers and sisters in a circle dancing sesh of sorts when the Canyon Creek Ramblers bluegrass up the Piggyback Barbeque in Whitefish, 102 Wisconsin Ave., at 7 PM. Free.

If you liked Tolkien’s mines of Khazad-dum, you’ll love tunneling through the AmVets Club, where DJDC rocks dance music to slay orcs to at 9 PM. Free.

Nero and Kirk go head to head—and just might offer some interesting post-date sci-fi conversation—during the Missoula Public Library’s “Cheap Date Night” screening of Star Trek at 7 PM at the library, 301 E. Main St. Free. Enter from the parking lot side of the building. Call 721-BOOK. Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $12, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmaspresent.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM. Over 100 dancers get down with grace—including ballet pros Stella Abrera and Sascha Radetsky—in a story about mice battling toys, a trip to a sugary land and more during the Garden City Ballet’s 25th anniversary rendition of The Nutcracker with a performance at 7:30 PM, in the Montana Theatre in UM’s PARTV Center. $25, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and Worden’s Market. Visit gardencityballet.org or call 240-6042. Notes are likely to pendulate with elegence when Susannah Craigwick and Jesse Christy lead a student vocal recital at 7:30 PM in the Music Recital Hall, in UM’s Music Building. Free. Call 243-6880. A farm girl from Kansas explores a land “beyond the rainbow” with help from a tin man, cowardly lion and others during the Whitefish Theatre Company’s rendition of The Wizard of Oz, with a performance at 7:30 PM at the O’Shaughnessy Cultural Arts Center, 1 Central Ave. in Whitefish. $18/$16 seniors/ $12 students. Call 862-5371 or visit whitefishtheatreco.org. Much like the hit track from 1990s rap group Onyx, you’ll have the chance to watch others “slam” each other lyrically during the Paradigm Shift poetry slam, where 12 local poets bring the heat via spondees and more at 8 PM at the Palace. $3. Hack the pine out of your lungs and shimmy down to some rock and blues courtesy of Alpine Valley and the Front Street Hacks, who play the World Theater and Events Center, 2023 S. Higgins Ave., at 8 PM. $2, with proceeds taken to the Poverello Center. E-mail Rick at rick@mtcentralins.com. Become the supreme sovereign for a mound of dirt, just for the night, when the Monarch Mountain Band plays bluegrass with Ray Allen at the Symes Hotel in Hot Springs, 209 Wall St., at 8 PM. Donations appreciated. Call 741-2361. Find out which DNA strand contains your appreciation for beer and rawk when The Lifers mix up nucleotides at 8 PM at the Eagles Lodge, 2420 South Ave. W. Free. Call 543-6346. Belt out a few bars of somethin’ sexy at East Missoula’s Reno Casino and Cafe’s karaoke

GRIZ BASKETBALL

Be thankful that the freedom to speak includes the freedom to sing when you sidle up to the mic at karaoke night at the VFW, kicking off at 9 PM. Free.

It’s time for an all-request video dance party to celebrate the week’s end: Feelgood Friday featuring hip-hop video remixes with The Tallest DJ in America at 9 PM at The Broadway Sports Bar and Grill, 1609 W. Broadway. Free. Call 543-5678.

Follow Grizzly Athletics Through… Web: www.montanagrizzlies.com Twitter: UMGRIZZLIES Facebook Fan Page: UM Grizzly Athletics

VS. UC Riverside Highlanders Sat., December 19th @ 7pm Monte and Mo Halftime: 2009 Griz Footbal Team Welcome Back Ceremony

Feel free to shake it like a salt shaker when DJ Sanchez cranks out the jams at The Office Bar, 109 W. Main St. in Hamilton, every Fri. at 9 PM. Free. Call 363-6969. Learn to sing “Dancing Queen” in tongues when Bassackwards Karaoke invades the Alcan Bar & Grill in Frenchtown, 16780 Beckwith St., every Fri. at 9 PM. Free. Call 531-8327.

VS. Fresno State Bulldogs Mon., December 21st @ 7pm Mismo Cheer Halftime Perfomance

Temporarily cure that case of seasonal affective disorder with a dose of jam rock down your hearing tubes when Miller Creek plays the Badlander at 9 PM. $5. Feel free to flail around like a rockstar whilst busting out your best version of Hall and Oates’ “Kiss on My List” during karaoke at the Deano’s Casino near Airway Blvd., 5318 W. Harrier, this and every Fri. at 9 PM. Free.

VS. U Great Falls Argos Wed., Dec. 23rd @ 7pm *All games played in Dahlberg Arena (Adams Center)

Bowling commingles with a laser light show and some DJ tunage from Kaleidoscope Entertainment every Fri. and Sat. at 9:30 PM at Five Valleys Bowling Center, 515 Dearborn Ave. Free. Call 549-4158. Zeppo MT offers you the chance to tap into your inner boozing blues hound when they blues and R ’n’ B up the Union Club at 9:30 PM. Free. He lives to spin: DJ Dubwise just can’t stop the dance tracks once they start at 10 PM at Feruqi’s. Free. Call 728-8799. Leave the kids at home in order to enjoy a night of Christmas carols, holiday songs and more that disregard popular culture and feature a scantily clad cast during the Montana Actors’ Theatre’s Late Night Cabaret: I Saw Mommy Spanking Santa Claus, with a performance at 10 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $7. Visit mtactors.com or call 239-7060. (See Spotlight in this issue.) Rock and power pop surfaces for a breath of fresh appreciation when Andrea Harsell and The Nightlights play with Secret Powers at the Top Hat, at 10 PM. $5, with proceeds going to the Big Brothers Big Sisters Families in Need program. Also note the cover charge is $1 off per non-perishable food item you bring to the door, so if you bring five of ‘em, you get in free.

SATURDAY December

19

Revive your latent artistic architectural skills for the holidays during a gingerbread house seminar, lead by locals Adelaide Every and Brian Moore from 10 AM–3 PM at the ZACC, 235 N. First St. W. Free. Bring your child and a kit or built house, as well as frosting and can-

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Page 23 December 17–December 24, 2009


dies and be ready to learn a number of interesting decorating tricks. Call Brian at 542-5433. Peruse a number of locally crafted gifts while also helping to raise funds for my old school, Lowell Elementary, during The Hip Holiday Art and Craft Market, which purports to be “family and hipster friendly” and features crafts, live music, door prizes and more from 10 AM–6 PM at the Lowell Elementary gym, 1200 Sherwood St. Free to attend. Call Jennifer at 543-6215. Blues, funk, soul and more from slap guitarist Dan Dubuque sails through the halls, while kids try their hands at ornament making and more at the Missoula Art Museum’s Holiday Weekend Fun activity, which runs from 10 AM–3 PM at the museum, 335 N. Pattee St. Includes a “creativity station” for kids to make ornaments for a tree that will be donated to the Watson Children’s Shelter. Call 728-0447 or visit missoulaartmuseum.org.

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Those suffering from illness or loss can find solace during one of Living Art Montana’s Creativity for Life workshops at St. Paul Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St., at 10:30 AM. This week features the program “Holiday Image Play” with Odette Grassi. Free, but donations appreciated and accepted. Register by calling 549-5329 or visit livingartofmontana.org. Kids let their minds light up with diodes during the SpectrUM Discovery Area’s LED activity, which focuses on creating LED Christmas ornaments to hang on your tree and runs from 11 AM–4:30 PM in Room 166 of UM’s Skaggs Building. $3.50/free ages three and under. Visit spectrum.umt.edu. Warm coffee awaits your cold body, as well as a chance for UM students to gift wrap your presents during a fundraiser for the UM chapter of the American Humanics Student Association, which runs from 11 AM–4 PM in the lobby of the Florence Building, 111 N. Higgins Ave. Free to attend, but donations requested for gift wrapping as well as coffee. All proceeds help students attend the national American Humanics conference. Call Marcus at 490-6405. Cookie decorations, carols, crafting and an appearance by that jolly man in a suit all make for a mercury rising holiday party in the digs of an old copper magnate during the Daly Mansion’s Community Christmas Party, which starts at 11 AM at the mansion, 251 Eastside Highway. $5/$2 children. Includes live music, photos with Santa and Mrs. Claus, and more. Call 363-6004 ext. 3. Your child expresses innovative abstraction through dance, claps, singing and more during Kids’ Vibrations with Matthew Nord of Tangled Tones, where the imagination rolls at 11 AM at the Downtown Dance Collective, 121 W. Main St. Free. Call 396-3352.

Photo © Chuck Haney

Check in 12/26 or 12/27 and get 20% off lodging for your entire stay*, plus free day and night skiing the day you arrive. We’re calling it the After Christmas Special**.

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Missoula Independent

*You must check-in on December 26 or 27 to receive the free day of skiing and lodging discount. Each member of your lodging party will receive a free day of skiing for day of check-in when they purchase at least 3 additional days of skiing. Based upon availability. Not valid with other promotions or specials.

Page 24 December 17–December 24, 2009

A psychological examination into the life and many loves of German Romantic writer E.T.A. Hoffmann hits the screen in HD, and in opera form, during The Met: Live at the Roxy’s screening of Jacques Offenbachs Les Contes D’Hoffmann, which screens at 11 AM at the Roxy Theater, 718 S. Higgins Ave. $18/$16 students and seniors. Visit morrisproductions.org. Help your kid ages 9–12 explore how sugar can be crafted into a plethora of tasty treats during a Christmas craft workshop which runs from noon–2 PM at Stevensville’s North Valley Public Library, 208 Main St. $2. Younger children must be accompanied by an adult. Call 777-5061.

Cookies and creativity forge a friendship that lasts, at least temporarily, during Holiday Cookie Decorating at the Missoula Public Library, which runs from noon–3 PM at the library, 301 E. Main St. Free, you take home the cookies you decorate. Event is also all ages, but kids ages 8 and younger need to be accompanied by an adult. Call 721-BOOK. Fire dancing troupes spread the heat, hay rides keep the kids company and caroling rings in the season during the Hot Springs Winter Solstice Celebration, which starts at 1 PM with a living nativity at Circle Square Park on Main Street, followed by activities throughout the day. Free. Call 741-5399. Hips will sway with elegance using moves from our tropical friends when Mina May leads a Hula Dance Workshop from 1–3 PM at the Downtown Dance Collective, 121 W. Main St. $10 person, or two for the price of one if you bring a friend. Call 541-7240. Visit ddcmontana.com. You too can beat hot pieces of iron into artistic submission during an Intro to Blacksmithing workshop, where Mark Vander Meer leads you through the fire, the forge and more at 1 PM at the Missoula Urban Demonstration Project, 629 Phillips St. $20/$10 members. Pre-registration required. Call 721-7513 or visit mudproject.ning.com. Don’t get caught playing your surround sound home theater system in a room with crappy dynamics. Rather, let the experts at Vann’s guide you towards complete aural clarity during the workshop “How to Setup and Calibrate a Home Theater Surround Sound System,” at 1 PM at Vann’s, 3623 Brooks St. Free. Call 541-6000. Watch others swing and punch their fists while you gleefully wait for someone to get KO’d during the Flathead Boxing Club-sponsored Montana State Silver Gloves Championships and Flathead Boxing Smoker, which starts at 2 PM at the Kalispell Elk’s Lodge, 1820 Hwy. 93 S. $12/$8 ages 9–18 /free ages eight and under, with tickets at the door. A second session follows at 7 PM. Call 270-6812. Over 100 dancers get down with grace—including ballet pros Stella Abrera and Sascha Radetsky—in a story about mice battling toys, a trip to a sugary land and more during the Garden City Ballet’s 25th anniversary rendition of The Nutcracker with a performance at 2 PM, in the Montana Theatre in UM’s PARTV Center. $20, with ticket’s at Rockin Rudy’s and Worden’s Market. Visit gardencityballet.org or call 240-6042. Kids grades fourth through sixth hunt for stuff amid the written word during a Library Scavenger Hunt, at this month’s installment of the Missoula Public Library’s “find something to do” series, which starts at 4 PM at the library, 301 E. Main St. Free. Call 721-BOOK.

nightlife Russ Nasset fends off the impending apocalypse with an iron fist full of riffs when he plays a solo gig at the Blacksmith Brewing Co., 114 Main St. in Stevensville, at 5:30 PM. Free. Call 777-0680 or visit blacksmithbrewing.com. Slip and slide into something dark, bluesy and full of hops when Mudslide Charley plays blues licks at the Bitter Root Brewery, 101 Marcus St. in Hamilton, at 6 PM. Free. Call 363-7468.


Even mice can’t deter Mayor John Engen’s irritation about your late property tax payments. Catch him in a better mood during a celebration performance for the Garden City Ballet’s 25th anniversary production of The Nutcracker on Sat., Dec. 19, at the Montana Theatre in UM’s PARTV Center, at 7:30 PM. $35. Garden City Ballet also performs Fri., Dec. 18, as well as matinees Dec. 19–20. Call 240-6042 or visit gardencityballet.org.

A farm girl from Kansas explores a land “beyond the rainbow” with help from a tin man, cowardly lion and others during the Whitefish Theatre Company’s rendition of The Wizard of Oz, with a performance at 7:30 PM at the O’Shaughnessy Cultural Arts Center, 1 Central Ave. in Whitefish. $18/$16 seniors/$12 students. Call 862-5371 or visit whitefishtheatreco.org. Over 100 dancers get down with grace—including ballet pros Stella Abrera and Sascha Radetsky—in a story about mice battling toys, a trip to a sugary land and more during the Garden City Ballet’s 25th anniversary rendition of The Nutcracker with a celebration performance at 7:30 PM, in the Montana Theatre in UM’s PARTV Center. $35, with ticket’s at Rockin Rudy’s and Worden’s Market. Features a cameo by Mayor John Engen. Visit gardencityballet.org or call 240-6042. Beatboxing is not on the tab but a capalla songs are when The Montana A Cappella Society and Dolce Canto present the concert “Our Holiday Christmas” at 7:30 PM at the Mary Stuart Rogers Performing Arts Center at Victor High School, 425 Fourth Ave. in Victor. $10 with tickets available at Signal Square–Anandi Imports or at the door. Call 373-5778. It’s time to rock the “Allemande Right” with other contra dancers during a Missoula Folklore Society sponsored contra dance featuring Wise River Mercantile with caller Bev Young, starting with a beginner dancer workshop at 7:30 PM and moving into the music at 8, upstairs at the Union Hall, 208 E. Main St. $8/$6 folklore society members. Visit www.montanafolk.org. Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal

Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $15, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmas present.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM. Now’s your chance to prove to the world that Santa is nothing but a ribald boozehound during Santacon, a gathering of Santas and elves aimed at descending through downtown Missoula to raise “Santarchy” starting at 8 PM at the Silver Dollar Bar, 307 Railroad Street W. Free to attend, but be sure you’ve gotten yourself a Santa suit or elf costume. Visit santarchy.com. Fly high under the influence of techno, dance pop, electro and more in the ‘hood of the airport during Fuse, a club night featuring local DJs at Deano’s Casino near Airway Blvd., 5318 W. Harrier, at 8 PM. Free. E-mail Dian at glacierwolfmt@gmail.com. Merrily struggle to catch those proverbial “Roots in the Air” in order to discern the true meaning of said song when local folkster Larry Hirshberg plays

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the Symes Hotel in Hot Springs, 209 Wall St., at 8 PM. Donations appreciated. Call 741-2361. Pro-choicers and pro-lifers all find a moment of peace under the influence of an amplified guitar when The Lifers play at 8 PM at the Eagles Lodge, 2420 South Ave. W. Free. Call 543-6346. Social commentary mixes with the twang of country when renowned Grammy-winning artist Kathy Mattea performs a mixture of folk, bluegrass, gospel, country and Celtic at 8 PM at the Hamilton Performing Arts Center, 327 Fairgrounds Road in Hamilton. $38, with tickets at bitterrootperformingarts.org or by calling 363-7946. Solid Sound Karaoke proves that music can also be a liquid or a gas, but never plasma, at Westside Lanes at 8:30 PM. Free. Call 541-SING.

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Page 25 December 17–December 24, 2009


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This This holiday holiday season, season, there there are are some some statements statements worth worth repeating. repeating.

Get your best swagger on and get ready for a night of music steeped in street life when the Bay Area’s Spice 1 brings hardcore and gangsta rap styles to the Palace at 9 PM. $17/$15 advance at Ear Candy Music. Ambedext and others open. Loud country music with a ‘tude might just be the best way to delouse yourself from your bedtime experiments with others when Shane Clouse and Stomping Ground plays the Union Club at 9:30 PM. Free. Leave the kids at home in order to enjoy a night of Christmas carols, holiday songs and more that disregard popular culture and feature a scantily clad cast during the Montana Actors’ Theatre’s Late Night Cabaret: I Saw Mommy Spanking Santa Claus, with a performance at 10 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $7. Visit mtactors.com or call 239-7060. (See Spotlight in this issue.) Figure out what upcoming holiday Idaho’s Stoney Holiday enjoys the most when they rock the Top Hat with some bloodshot bluegrass, rock and funk at 10 PM. Cover TBA.

SUNDAY

20

December

The sound of flutes snake through the halls, while kids try their hands at ornament making and more at the Missoula Art Museum’s Holiday Weekend Fun activity, which runs from 10 AM–3 PM at the museum, 335 N. Pattee St. Includes performances by the Anna Semple Flute Duet at 1 and 1:30 PM, as well as a “creativity station” for kids to make ornaments for a tree that will be donated that day to the Watson Children’s Shelter. Call 728-0447 or visit missoulaartmuseum.org. Practice your sun salutations in celebration of the darkest day of the year during “Yoga Winter Solstice Celebration, 108 Sun Salutations” which starts at 10 AM at the Teranga Arts School, 2926 S. Third St. W. Free, but donations appreciated. All levels welcome as well. Call Gina at 518-928-7523 or e-mail gina.mauro@gmail.com. Over 100 dancers get down with grace—including ballet pros Stella Abrera and Sascha Radetsky—in a story about mice battling toys, a trip to a sugary land and more during the Garden City Ballet’s 25th anniversary rendition of The Nutcracker with a performance at 2 PM, in the Montana Theatre in UM’s PARTV Center. $20, with ticket’s at Rockin Rudy’s and Worden’s Market. Visit gardencityballet.org or call 240-6042. If you suffer from pain, join others who understand your plight during a Pain Support Group at 2 PM at the Open Way Mindfulness Center, 702 Brooks St. Free. This week features the topic “Learning to Help Yourself”

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Page 26 December 17–December 24, 2009


SPOTLIGHT

risqué carolers

If you’re like me, you slightly shudder at the thought of hearing traditional Christmas music blasted ad nauseam everywhere you go throughout the holidays. Sure, I get it. It’s for the kids and those traditional folks out there. And certainly there are alternatives (check out our Noise section on soulful Christmas albums). But if your sense of humor embraces the irreverent and naughty, we’ve got another idea for you.

Don't want to disappoint this Holiday Season?

It’ll be no surprise to some that our local pushers of innovative theatrics, the Montana Actors’ Theatre (MAT), have put together a series of rewritten and original off-beat carols, skits and readings just in time for Yule during Late Night Cabaret: I Saw Mommy Spanking Santa Claus. If your fragile mind can handle it, you’ll be rewarded with well-known spoofs like “Walking Around in Women’s Underwear,” which, if you hadn’t noticed, is a play on the song “Winter Wonderland.” Or, for those of us who’ve worked a hellish Christmas in retail, MAT offers its satirical take with the song “Corporate Christmas.”

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And, just so you know, the cast will be scantily clad during the entire performance. “I’m not entitled to say how much skin will be shown, but there will be skin,” says Cameron Fehring, the show’s director, pictured here with, from left to right, Michelle Edwards and Deborah Voss. WHAT: Late Night Cabaret: I Saw Mommy Spanking Santa Claus WHO: Montana Actors’ Theatre WHEN: Thu., Dec. 17–Sat., Dec. 19, at 10 PM WHERE: The Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. HOW MUCH: $7

Photo courtesy of Rebecca Sporman

Besides a number of musical ditties, the night also includes dramatic readings of holiday stories from the websites Texts From Last Night and F My Life, as well as a parody of Dear Abby on being politically correct during the holidays. Actor Reid Reimers also plans to flex his performance skills with a rendition of David Sedaris’ “Six to Eight Black Men,” a monologue about Holland’s off-kilter story of Saint Nicholas. “We ended up deciding that Christmas deserves to be made fun of too,” explains Fehring. “I’m very sentimental and I enjoy it, but…I think everyone’s in agreement that some aspects of Christmas are absolutely ridiculous, and so we’re just poking fun.” —Ira Sather-Olson

Missoula Independent

Page 27 December 17–December 24, 2009


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Local mixed media artist James Halvorson likes to make the familiar unfamiliar. The concept, known in art criticism as defamiliarization, aims to strip away all that is commonplace in order to inject a fresh perspective into the viewer’s mind. In Halvorson’s case, he’ll take a rusted fold-up chair he found near his studio and use it to create a still life, taking the once ordinary object and rendering it completely unrecognizable on a canvas. “The intention is to emphasize the abstractness of real objects and to find linguistic qualities in abstraction,” he explains. You’ll have a chance Friday to wrap your head around his uncommon approach during an opening for Collections and Variationa, a series of his abstract mixed media pieces—like “A Mystic’s Logic,” pictured here. The show incorporates a host of mediums like acrylic paint, charcoal, oil pastel, joint compound, carpenter’s marking tools and other utensils onto panel and paper, resulting in an absorbing stew of images. Halvorson also dips his creative fingers into collage by slapping together found objects with photographs, paper and random scraps. An accountant by day, the artist says he gets his creative juices sizzling with inspiration from art movements as varied as his mediums: Dadaism, expressionism, symbolism, romanticism and funk art. WHAT: Opening reception for Collections and Variationa WHO: James Halvorson WHEN: Fri., Dec. 18, 5–8 PM WHERE: The Framing Studio, 411 E. Alder St.

He also says he feels rooted in the early 20th century European Expressionist school of art, but that throughout his career he’s aimed to combine this with more avant-garde strains of art that peaked in the 1960s, including conceptual art and the art and language movement. “I wanted to tap into the questions being asked about the inner-workings of the elements that allow language to develop out of myriad possibilities,” he says. “This is how I came to use letters and numbers in the works, to collage text and to use linguistic signifiers for their formal appeal. I wanted to bring prewar expressionism and postwar conceptualism together.” —Ira Sather-Olson

HOW MUCH: Free

and features a guest speaker. Call Nicole Dunn at 327-8408. Beatboxing is certainly not in store but a capalla and choral songs are when The Montana A Cappella Society and Dolce Canto present the concert “Sing, Be, Live, Peace” at 3 PM at the UM Music Recital Hall, in the UM Music Building. Free, but a suggested donation of: $15/$8 students. Call 544-4923. A farm girl from Kansas explores a land “beyond the rainbow” with help from a tin man, cowardly lion and others during the Whitefish Theatre Company’s rendition of The Wizard of Oz, with a performance at 4 PM at the O’Shaughnessy Cultural Arts Center, 1 Central Ave. in Whitefish. $18/$16 seniors/$12 students. Call 862-5371 or visit whitefishtheatreco.org. A psychological examination into the life and many loves of German Romantic writer E.T.A. Hoffmann hits the screen in HD, and in opera form, during The Met: Live at the Roxy’s

Missoula Independent

Page 28 December 17–December 24, 2009

screening of Jacques Offenbachs Les Contes D’Hoffmann, which screens at 4 PM at the Roxy Theater, 718 S. Higgins Ave. $18/$16 students and seniors. Visit morris productions.org.

nightlife Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $15, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmaspresent.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM. Kick off the latter hours of your day of rest when the Badlander’s Jazz Martini Night welcomes saints and sinners alike with jazz DJs and jazz bands starting at 7:30 PM. Free. This week: Jazz from the Donna Smith Trio, the Front Street Jazz Group and DJ Mermaid.

Euchre is one of those games that goes great with beer because you can tell what the cards look like even if your vision is a little blurry. See what I mean, or try to anyway, tonight at Sean Kelly’s just-for-fun Euchre Tournament at 8 PM. Free. Bellow out your favorite pop tune so you can impress your friends and perhaps win a prize during a karaoke contest this and every Sun. at the Lucky Strike Casino, 1515 Dearborn Ave., at 9 PM. Free. Call 721-1798. Impress your friends, significant other, or anyone who will listen when you rock the karaoke mic at Harry David’s, 2700 Paxson St. Ste. H, which is back in action with free karaoke at 9:30 PM, Sun.–Thu. each week. Call 830-3277. If you’ve got Sunday night off, take the opportunity to help others get off—yeah, in that kind of way—during Global Orgasm Day, a party which starts at 10:47 PM at Birds & Bees LLC, 1515 E. Broadway St., where


• Come see our Doctors and get your medical marijuana recommendation. • Walk-ins are welcome; medical records may not be required; many spots available. • $150 for Doctor visit normally; n o o n e t u r n e d a w a y f o r i n a b i l i t y t o p a y . • Many Caregivers present to choose from with samples of medicine available. • FREE classes at noon and 6 PM at each clinic location - Taught by Attorneys and Caregivers. - Directed to both Patients and Caregivers. - Learn how to navigate the law, not go to jail, grow, get Patients and more!

Clinic Dates: Kalispell Friday, Jan 22nd Great Falls Saturday, Jan 23rd Billings Sunday, Jan 24th Bozeman Monday, Jan 25th Missoula Tuesday, Jan 26th And many more! Call for more clinic dates.

Attention Caregivers: Free booths available at clinic locations!

406-207-7078 • Open 8AM-9PM 7 Days a Week Missoula Independent

Page 29 December 17–December 24, 2009


Take a wild guess what items won’t be allowed in the building when Bay Area rapper Spice 1 plays Sat., Dec. 19, at the Palace at 9 PM. $17/$15 advance at Ear Candy Music.

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Missoula Independent

Page 30 December 17–December 24, 2009

teams of orgasmic pledge drivers collect pledges to help raise money for pre and anorgasmic women to receive treatment. Free to attend. Also includes a scavenger hunt which you can register for by visiting aboutsexuality.org or calling 544-1019.

MONDAY December

21

Two sessions of World Rhythm Youth Hand Drumming Class hits Tangled Tones Music Studio, 2005 South Ave. W. every Mon. At 4:30 PM, kids aged 5–7 can get their grooves on, and a class for those 8 and above begins at 5. $30/month, drum rental available. RSVP 396-3352 or visit tangledtones.com.

nightlife If you devote 5:30 to 8:30 PM on Monday or Wednesday nights to silent meditation, politi-

cal drinking or other non-kid-friendly endeavors, the Parenting Place offers free child care and dinner at 1644 S. Eighth St. W. Call 728-KIDS to reserve a spot. Those looking to control their eating habits can get support from others during a meeting of Overeaters Anonymous, which meets this and every Mon. at 5:30 PM on the second floor of St. Paul Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St. Free. Visit www.oa.org. What reason have you got for lying around the house watching the tube when Florence’s High Spirits offers Free Pool at 6 PM? Free. Call 273-9992. You’ve got another chance to connect the dots this evening when the VFW hosts bingo at 7 PM. Free. If you’re 18 or under and your life has been affected by someone else’s drinking, get support with others by joining the Al-Ateen 12Step Support Group, which meets this and every Monday at 7 PM at First United Methodist Church, 300 E. Main St. Free, use alley entrance. Call 728-5818.


Pour something vintage into your vino experience when Lori Conner and Dick Skultin play classic jazz at the Red Bird Wine Bar, 111 N. Higgins Ave. Ste. 100, at 7 PM. Free. Call 549-2906. Bring a pillow and relaxed vibes and slip into the season with sounds of didgeridoos, ethinic flutes, bassoon and more when Michael Marsolek and Lawrence Duncan perform an intimate, candlelit concert as A Musical Dreamtime Journey at 7 PM at Saint Anthony Parish, 217 Tremont St. $15/$12 advance at drumbrothers.com or griztix.com At Be Here Now Sangha you can learn the basics of meditation every Mon. night at 7:30 PM at the Open Way Mindfulness Center, 702 Brooks St. Open to all religions and levels of practice. Free, but donations appreciated. Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $12, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmaspresent.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM. Bust out some jolly moves in a quadratic fashion with others during a Christmas square dance at 8 PM at Lolo’s Square and Round Dance Center, 9955 Lolo Creek Road in Lolo. $4. Call 273-0652. Bingo is no longer in the domain of the geriatric when Colin Hickey leads Rawk ‘N Roll Bingo at 8:30 PM at the Badlander with the first bingo card for free, subsequent cards for $1. Free. Also includes a free nacho bar. See a plethora of patterns and colors—after a few pitchers—and muster up the courage to belt out some prize-winning classics during Kaleidoscope Karaoke every Sun.–Sat. at the Lucky Strike Casino, 1515 Dearborn Ave., at 9 PM. Free. Call 721-1798. Kick off your week with a drink and an array of electronic DJs and styles for das booty during Milkcrate Mondays with the Milkcrate Mechanic at 9 PM every week, at the Palace. Free. This week: dubstep, breaks and more from the Milkcrate Mechanic, Hase and Lui. See if you can become a star under the spotlight at Sean Kelly’s open mic night, hosted by Mike Avery at 9:30 PM. Free. Men drink on the cheap and can enjoy a game of pigskin, as well as karaoke, during men’s night at Harry David’s Bar, 2700 Paxson St. Ste. H, this and every Mon. at 9:30 PM. Free to attend. Call 830-3277.

TUESDAY December

22

Find the strength and will to survive in the company of others during a breast cancer support group at St. Francis Xavier Parish, 420 W. Pine, every first and third Tue. of the month at noon. Free. Call 329-5656. You can fight for peace in many different ways, but how about knitting for it? Find out when the group Knitting for Peace meets every Tue. from 1–3 PM at the Jeannette Rankin Peace Center, 519 S. Higgins Ave. Free. Call 543-3955.

nightlife Missoula’s YWCA, 1130 W. Broadway, hosts weekly support groups for women every Tue. at 6:30 PM, where groups for Native women and children meet as well. New group members with children are asked to arrive at 6:15, without kids at 6:25. Free. Call 543-6691. You never know what you’ll find—except for probably a bunch of womyn—at Womyn’s Night at 7 PM at the Western Montana Gay and Lesbian Community Center, 127 N. Higgins Ave., Ste. 202. Free. Call 543-2224. Follow your dreams of becoming the next Willie Nelson, and get buy-one-get-one-free drink tickets, during an open mic night every Tue. at the Brooks and Brown Lounge at the Holiday Inn Parkside, 200 S. Pattee St., from 7–10 PM, with sign-up at 6 PM. E-mail moorebeej@yahoo.com.

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Those who have problems with anorexia or bulimia can find a shoulder to lean on during a meeting of Anorexics and Bulimics Anonymous, which meets this and every Tue. at 7:30 PM in the Memorial Room of St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, 202 Brooks St. Free. E-mail abamissoula@gmail.com. Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $12, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmaspresent.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM. Sean Kelly’s invites you to another week of free Pub Trivia, which takes place every Tue. at 8 PM. And, to highlight the joy of discovery that you might experience while attending, here’s a sample of the type of question you could be presented with. Ready? What’s the national flower of our icy friends in Iceland? (Find the answer in the calendar under tomorrow’s nightlife section.) You’ve practiced in front of the mirror long enough—head to the High Spirits in Florence, where open mic night features a drum set, amps, mics and recording equipment and awaits you and your axe at 8 PM. Free. Call 273-9992 to reserve your spot. Enjoy Tunes on Tuesdays with Christian Johnson from 8:30–11 PM, an acoustic open mic jam every Tue. night at Red’s Wines & Blues in Kalispell. Free. Call 755-9463. The Broadway’s Tuesday Night Comedy takes place every Tue. at 9 PM and is followed by dancing with tunes from the Tallest DJ in America. $5/$3 students. Call 543-5678. Dancey rock from a two-piece that utilizes dub basslines and instruments like the sax collides with slapped acoustic guitar when Portland’s Dramady plays with local Dan Dubuque at 9 PM at the Badlander. Free. (See Noise in this issue.)

WEDNESDAY December nightlife

23

Dudes and duderinos, it’s your time to imbibe all day with drink specials this and every Wed. when the Frenchtown Club, 15155 Demers St., hosts Men’s Day. Free. Call 370-3200.

Missoula Independent

Page 31 December 17–December 24, 2009


BE JOYOUS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

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The only deity you need to worship is a woman named Joan and her amalgamation of jazz, reggae and soul grooves when Joan Zen plays the Blacksmith Brewing Co., 114 Main St. in Stevensville, at 5:30 PM. Free. Call 777-0680 or visit blacksmith brewing.com.

Ummm, don’t blow this opportunity: Birds and Bees LLC, 1515 E. Broadway St., presents a sexual finesse workshop on fellatio and covers everything you’ve ever wanted to know about honing those skills from 7–8:30 PM. $8. Call 544-1019 or visit aboutsexuality.org.

Develop eloquence in the face of inebriation, as well as impressive business contacts, when Toastmasters meets this, and every, Wed. at 6 PM in St. Patrick Hospital’s Duran Learning Center. Free. Call 728-9117.

Release that mid and late week stress during Tai Chi Chuan classes every Wed. at 7:30 PM and every Sat. at 10 AM at the Teranga Arts School, 2926 S. Third St. W. $10/class. Call Chris at 728-0918.

Blue Argon plays eclectic blues, R&B, and jazz featuring Colleen Cunningham, Steve Sellars and Jim Clayborn every Wed. at 6 PM at Red’s Wines & Blues in Kalispell. Free. Call 755-9463. If you know the difference between His Knobs and His Knees, bring that skill to the Joker’s Wild Casino, 4829 N. Reserve St., where the Missoula Grassroots Cribbage Club invites players both new and old to see how many ways they can get to that magical number 15 at 7 PM. Free. Call Rex at 360-3333. In case of emergency, break finger puppet: Family Storytime offers engaging experiences like stories, fingerplays, flannel-board pictograms and more at 7 PM at the Missoula Public Library. Free. Call 721-BOOK. Standup bass coalesces with jazz vocals and guitar for a sleek night of steamy jazz when Kristin Korb and Craig Hall play this month’s installment of Daly Jazz, a monthly jazz concert at 240 Daly Ave., at 7 PM. $25, includes dinner and drinks. RSVP required by e-mailing dalyjazz@gmail.com. Visit dalyjazz.com. Enjoy Christmas music from a sextet playing various styles of seasonal tunes when Daystar performs at Meadow View Church, 3821 Stephens Ave., at 7 PM. Free, includes childcare. Call 549-3350. I’m not sure who it is, but I have a sneaking suspicion it’s a bulky, jollierthan-normal man. So don’t miss a special holiday guest visit during the Missoula Public Library’s Story Time program at 7 PM at the library, 301 E. Main St. Free. Call 721-BOOK.

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Missoula Independent

Page 32 December 17–December 24, 2009

Scrooge acts as a big bad CEO of a surveillance company, Tiny Tim rolls around on a skateboard and Mrs. Cratchit treats shopping like it’s heroin during performances of Craig Menteer’s An Xmas Present, at 7:30 PM at the Crystal Theatre, 515 S. Higgins Ave. $12, with tickets at Rockin Rudy’s and online at anxmaspresent.com. Student rush tickets available for $10 at 7:15 PM. Hump day isn’t just for binge drinking anymore. It’s also a day for playing games of chance with other likeminded booze lovers when Sean Kelly’s presents Hump Day Bingo, this and every Wed. at 8 PM. Free. Call 542-1471. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but neither will help you emit that high lonesome sound every Wed., when the Old Post Pub hosts a Pickin’ Circle at 9 PM. Free. The answer to this week’s trivia question: Iceland’s national flower is known as the mountain avens and features eight white petals. The tenets of women’s lib broadens to include cheap drinks and DJs spinning dance tracks when Feruqi’s hosts Ladies’ Night every Wed. at 9 PM. Free. Be sure you’ve downed enough PBR in order to have the courage to sing “The Humpty Dance” by Digital Underground, or a similar tune, during Kraptastic Karaoke at the Badlander at 9 PM. Free. Be sure you’ve grabbed yourself a designated driver so you can imbibe during Wasted Wednesdays at Harry David’s Bar, 2700 Paxson St. Ste. H, which offers drink specials

and starts at 9:30 PM. Free to attend. Call 830-3277.

THURSDAY

24

December

Ahhh yes, it’s Christmas eve and eve day. Either you’re working, doing last minute shopping or eager to do something before Christmas hits. In case you’ve got no plans tonight, I’d advise calling the places listed here ahead of time in the case of any last minute changes. But don’t worry about calling the Badlander, as its Crunkmas Eve Party is confirmed to be happenin’. If for some reason you find yourself wandering over to the Missoula Public Library to check out a book, CD or DVD on Dec. 24 or Dec. 25, head right back home. The library is closed both days and opens up again Sat. Dec. 26 at 10 AM. Call 721-BOOK.

nightlife Bowling and karaoke go together like health care reform and Democrats having a spine during Solid Sound Karaoke at Westside Lanes at 8:30 PM. Free. Call 541-SING. Nothing’s better than a dance and alcohol-induced hangover on Christmas Day, am I right? Find out by shaking your salt shaker at the Badlander’s Crunkmas Eve Party, which features DJs Monty Carlo and Chris Baumann playing an assortment of hip-hop, electronic and other danceable tunes at 9 PM. Free. If you’re a fan of KBGA—our town’s student-run alternative radio station—and you’ve got an eye for graphic design, consider lending your creative fingers to KBGA’s logo contest. If your artistic mark is picked, it’ll get slapped on all press releases, posters, T-shirts, stickers and other KBGA shwag that you see kids wearing around Missoula. In addition to visual exposure, you’ll nab free KBGA merchandise and free admission to all its special events and concerts. Pretty sweet, eh? Be sure you submit your design by Feb. 1 by e-mailing promotions@kbga.org or dropping off your work at UM’s University Center Room 208. For more details visit kbga.org. In the meantime, keep me in the know of all your other creative endeavors like concerts, karaokeoffs and the like by Sending your event info by 5 PM on Fri., Dec. 18, to calendar@missoul anews.com. Alternately, snail mail the stuff to Calendar Playa c/o the Independent, 317 S. Orange St., Missoula, MT 59801 or fax your way to 543-4367. You can also submit stuff online. Just head to the arts section of our website and scroll down a few inches and you’ll see a link that says “submit an event.”


After weeks of dashed hopes, Old Man Winter has finally answered your calls to blanket our valley and our entire state in a few inches of powder. I have to say, it’s about freakin’ time, don’t you think? I guess we’ll just have to blame the delay on our consistently bi-polar weather patterns in this neck of the woods. But now that we actually have a good amount of that fluffy stuff, let’s celebrate by hitting up our local peddler of downhill antics known as Montana Snowbowl, as they anticipate to be open daily starting Fri., Dec. 18., at 9:30 AM. As of Sun., Dec. 13, only the T-bar and rope tow was open, but according to information on their snow phone, they expect to be able to open up the higher parts of the mountain later this week. Once they are fully open, plan to part with $39 for an adult full-day pass or $34 for a half-day pass. Also, make sure you stay updated on conditions and opening times before you leave home by calling the snow phone at 549-9696 and visiting montanasnowbowl.com. On the chance that conditions aren’t so stellar at the bowl, I’d recommend taking a trip east to Big Sky on Fri., Dec. 18 so you can take advantage of Moonlight Basin’s Turkey for a Ticket food drive, which nabs you a free lift ticket to shred in exchange for donating a turkey, or 20 or more cans of nonperishable food. All you need to do is stop by the Madison Village Base Area when the mountain opens at 9 AM and drop off your donations, which will be given to the Gallatin Valley Food Bank. Visit moonlightbasin.com for detailed directions to the mountain, and be sure to call 995-7716 for any burning questions you have. For a less physically taxing excursion this week, I’d suggest spending Sat., Dec. 19 in the company of avians and avian enthusiasts during scheduled Christmas bird counts by the Flathead Audubon Society as well as Missoula’s Five Valley’s Audubon Society.

Big box.

The count in the Flathead is based around Streeter’s Corner, north of Bigfork, and will start soon after the sun rises in a host of to-be-determined locations dotted along a spot 15 miles in diameter. Count groups are being finalized this week, but you can still join up with other Audubon members on Saturday by calling member Dan Casey to RSVP at 857-3143 or by e-mailing him at caseys4@centurytel.net. It’s free to count, but a fee of $5 is requested to help with the cost of tallying up the counting, which will then be published in the Audubon Society’s national journal. Your grumbling belly should also note a potluck is scheduled at the Bigfork Senior Center after the big count. Visit flatheadaudubon.org.

The exploratory lot among you can also spend Sat., Dec. 19 on snowshoes or cross country skis in the Bitterroot when you meet up with Rocky Mountaineers’ trip leader Shawn Bennett for a two-day, overnight excursion to Little St. Joseph Peak, which is also where the Mountaineers’ cabin is located. If you’re down, meet at the old Big Lots parking area off of Brooks Street at 7:30 AM, and then you’ll drive up to the cabin to drop off your overnight gear. Afterwards, plan to rock out all day Saturday and Sunday in the snow. But before you throw those snowshoes in your car, RSVP by calling Shawn as soon as possible at 493-4892 or e-mail him at shawnedwardbennett@gmail.com. Perhaps you don’t know how to calmly shred on a pair of Nordic skis. Remedy that on Sat., Dec. 19 when Kellie Carim of the Missoula Nordic Ski Club leads a skate technique ski clinic at 10 AM at the Pattee Canyon ski trails. The event looks to be free, but the club would like you to get a membership if you want to participate in future events, so click to missoulanordic.org for info. Plans for the clinic could also change due to the weather, so keep your eyes peeled on the website for updates. Sun., Dec. 20 brings us opportune time to chillax from a few days of exertion by watching the buttery smooth moves of members from the Missoula Figure Skating Club during its Holiday on Ice event, which runs from 4:15–5:45 PM at the Glacier Ice Rink, 1101 South Ave. W. For a $2 or more suggested donation, you can check some of the slip-free scratch spins or camel spins of experienced club members and more. Visit missoulafsc.org or call 543-5889. We couldn’t possibly end the week without mention of Christmas, could we? Don’t worry, I didn’t space it. So in the Photo by Alex Sakariassen spirit of the season, summon that day of over consumption of food and presents by watching others, including Santa, shoot In Missoula, the Five Valley’s Audubon Society plans to get its down Whitefish’s Big Mountain during Santa’s Torchlight own bird calculatin’ on starting around 9 AM or so at various loca- Parade, which starts at 6 PM Thu., Dec. 24 at the Whitefish tions within a 15-mile diameter area around the intersection of I- Mountain Resort. Free to watch, but you can also join in on the 90 and Reserve Street. Groups of counters are being assigned fun by registering to ski in the parade by calling 862-2907. this week, so if you want to join in, contact member Larry Weeks However, only intermediate and advanced skiers are encouraged, quickly at 549-5632 or e-mail him at bwsgenea@onlinemt.com. so novices need not apply. Visit skiwhitefish.com. This count is also free, but you are asked to chip in $5 to help with Now get out there and play hard, but be sure to drive safely and tabulation, which also gets you a free copy of the published give bicyclists plenty of room to navigate our newly icy terrains. results. A potluck follows the count at 6 PM, so click over to fvamissoula.org to download the newsletter for directions. calendar@missoulanews.com

Outside the box.

This Holiday season, discover all that Downtown has to offer. Shop Dine Entertain

www.missouladowntown.com

Missoula Independent

The most versatile gift card in Missoula!

Page 33 December 17–December 24, 2009


scope

Vintage wheels

Missoula Independent

Tom Dewar keeps his eyes on the road with new print series by Erika Fredrickson

“He wanted to borrow $30 to stay at the Motel 6 But Dewar has also veered away from just cars, Artist Tom Dewar grew up in a landscape full of old dead cars. His father, a car shop owner, often tinkered recently taking up a portrait project on Evel Knievel. but my dad wouldn’t loan it to him because he thought with two 1950 Fords, a 1947 Oldsmobile Rocket and a Dewar’s interest in Knievel comes from personal histo- he’d never see it again,” says Dewar. “He offered to let 1922 Dodge with original wood-spoked wheels, all of ry, as the motorcycle daredevil and Dewar’s father him pitch a tent in our yard and Evel opted to sleep on which sat out on the family’s four-acre riverfront prop- were longtime friends. The duo used to compete in hill our trampoline.” Knievel stopped by again, eight years later when erty on the outskirts of Great Falls. His dad’s primary climbing, in which motorcyclists start at the bottom of he was even more famous, to visit with the family when car was a 1941 Ford Convertible he bought in high a hill and drive recklessly to the top. Dewar was just an infant. As Dewar school and it was always the family’s got older, he became intrigued by main mode of transportation. the stuntman. “He restored it in the early ’80s “I have this sort of loose personal and we took a couple of trips to connection with him,” he says. “I just Disneyland in it and drove it all think he was so crazy. I’ve never met over,” says Dewar. “I never really him really, but I was obsessed with thought much of it when I was growhim. That’s where the inspiration for ing up. Now I realize it’s not a normy Evel series is coming from.” mal childhood to have a bunch of Dewar’s only recently allowed dead cars in the yard or to use old himself to focus again on his own ones for regular transportation. And artwork full-time. He used to make a it’s why I’ve always loved old cars.” living, in part, from running a In fact, Dewar drew old cars screen-printing shop that made Twhen he was in kindergarten. Even shirts, posters and stickers. The busiafter he went off to school at the ness grew and changed location University of Montana for printmakthroughout Seattle over the years ing, old cars continued to be a main until a couple of years ago he focus of his work. became burnt out on it, closed the “UM’s where I mostly learned doors and sold all the equipment. the trade of printing,” he says. “I “Now I’m back to designing and learned different printing techprinting my own art,” he says. niques and it usually involved some “That’s much more fulfilling than sort of car or engine or car parts in printing Little League jerseys or various states of decay. Or, sometracking down some shitty band who times, something shiny, new and hot owes me money.” rod-like.” He’s also been able to focus on Dewar moved to Seattle in 1999, evolving his style by trying other but his three years in Missoula left an types of printing. For instance, he indelible mark on the artist, who was recently revamped his studio to a regular at the old Jay’s Upstairs rock work with block printing in which shows. Some of Dewar’s most cherthe ink image comes through from ished poster art was created for the negative space carved out from Missoula events and bands, including wood or linoleum. stylized flyers for the likes of His recent work has Dewar Volumen, the International Playboys inspired to branch out to other and the Oblio Joes, and several personalities and series immortalposters for the annual local music izing more landmarks. One print extravaganza, Total Fest, that incorpohe’ll be showing in Missoula fearated his signature classic car tures the Great Falls Select imagery. This week, Dewar presents a show and poster sale at the Badlander Tom Dewar’s new print series features images of Dick’s Drive-In in Seattle, Brewery near where he grew up. as well as a lineup of classic cars. “I learned different printing techniques that shows his more recent work, [at UM],” Dewar says, “and it usually involved some sort of car or engine The brewery is extinct now, but in including a new linocut print project or car parts in various states of decay. Or, sometimes, something shiny, its heyday the beer company provided strong ad campaigns on the featuring Seattle’s famous Dick’s new and hot rod-like.” heels of prohibition’s repeal. Drive-In—and more classic cars. Dewar highlights the era in the Dick’s, founded in 1954, is well “You haul ass to the top of it and people usually print with a 1967 GTO sitting right outside the brewknown for serving greased up bags of fries, burgers and hot dogs to devoted fans, including a contingent flip over and tumble all the way down,” Dewar says. ery. The car theme, as always, remains present. “In the spring and summer a lot of cool classic cars of the garage and indie rock scene. There are now six “It’s a pretty dangerous thing. My dad was the only guy restaurants in the Seattle area (one in Spokane) and to win the Billings Hill Climb eight times consecutively come out of the woodwork in Seattle—stuff you’d never see in Great Falls or in Montana,” he says. “I Dewar has drawn two locations and plans on eventu- in his class—and that was in the ’60s.” Knievel remained friends with the family even as think as far as the cars go, I’ll always be influenced by ally illustrating all of them. For this project, he drew the drive-in with pen and ink, and then printed the his career started skyrocketing. Sometime around that in my work.” images in four different colors. And, as would be 1970, Dewar says, a couple of years after Knievel’s big Tom Dewar shows and sells his prints at the expected, he drew the drive-ins as they were in the 1967 crash at Caesar’s Palace, the stuntman passed late ’50s and early ’60s, populated with hot rods like through Great Falls and stopped by the Dewar house- Badlander Thursday, Dec. 17, at 7 PM. Free. a 1932 Ford Five Window Coupe, 1932 Ford Victoria hold. Dewar wasn’t born yet, but he’s heard the story so much that it’s almost lore. and 1936 Dodge pick-up. efredrickson@missoulanews.com

Page 34 December 17–December 24, 2009


Scope

Noise

Film

Dramady

Better Forever North Pole Records

On “RAH,” Better Forever’s excellent opening track, there’s a bit of Perry Farrell in Zacery Stanley’s lead vocals. In Amanda Mason Wiles’ fuzzy-sassy back-up vocals on the same track, there’s a bit of Kim Gordon. But chasing influences is a dangerous game to play with Dramady, best described as an indie-synth-psychedelic pop duo from Portland. “RAH” opens with sounds resembling a robot orchestra tuning, then Stanley adds the drums and Mason’s bass gets rolling, inducing the listener to dance a little head-bobbing chair dance and mumble along with the mysterious lyrics. The better tunes on Better Forever are not only danceable but sing-able too, despite, or maybe

Richie Reinholdt Shelf Life self-released

Richie Reinholdt has a way with words. On the local musician’s latest release, Shelf Life, phrases like, “four wheel songs by morning light” and “the sky holding sunset in her hair” pepper songs that lope along in melancholic alt-country soundscapes. “Cold Moon” is especially catchy when he sings the lonely, echoing chorus: “Oh, moon. Go away. Leave me alone. Find some other manic heart to chill…” The self-destructive storyline of “Skeeter”

M. Ward Hold Time Merge

I’m tempted to buy M. Ward’s latest on vinyl. Why? Because his sepia-toned vocals and orchestral backgrounds pockmarked with tinny electronics make it feel like a ghost best handled by vintage technology. The soulful folk of “One Hundred Million Years” especially begs for the crackle pop of needle on groove. In “Fisher of Men” you can hear the rambling, hollow chords that prove his claimed influence of Johnny Cash. And his twangy cover of “Oh Lonesome Me” featuring Lucinda Williams’ gritty vocals needs breathing room digital can never give. But did the orchestral section need to be in this song? It seems overly done up.

Blakroc Blakroc V2

Bluesy Ohio duo The Black Keys have managed to put together interesting albums by experimenting with different sounds and instruments, despite a simple two-man lineup. 2008’s Attack and Release, the duo’s first record recorded in an actual studio, took a huge step forward in part because they worked with producer Danger Mouse, of Gnarls Barkley fame. Now drummer Patrick Carney and singer/guitarist Dan Auerbach have taken another

Movie Shorts

because of, a high level of lyrical nonsense. The best song, “Train,” has the kind of dreamy, repetitive insistence that I associate with pleasant journeys. It’s already on my winter travel mix, and it’ll probably be the soundtrack to my old-lady carving rhythm on Snowbowl’s T-bar runs this weekend. Like most good albums, Better Forever has its hits and misses—a few tunes are just too goofy for me— but the majority of the album is a perfect weapon against the holly jolly hell of Christmas carols into which we are about to descend. As the band suggests, just “follow the train-train tracks.” (Ali Gadbow) Dramady plays the Badlander Tuesday, Dec. 22, at 9 PM with Dan Dubuque. Free. recalls the best of Robert Earl Keen. And “Split the Sheets” evokes classic Bakersfield country. The vacuum metaphor of “Vacuum” is a bit too silly for the rest of the album. “Beefaload,” however, manages to be both playful and gripping—riding that fine line. When Reinholdt jabs at the celebrity industry of People magazine, pop hooks and life at the top using the phrase “Beefaload again,” I don’t get it exactly. But I like the weirdness of it. Taken together, Shelf Life is a dramatic album, filled with pedal steel and Reinholdt’s slightly strained vocals that evoke the twang of Jimmie Dale Gilmore. The best songs are the unpredictable ones, those less carefully mixed than others—when the drums aren’t perfectly machine-like and the guitar solos don’t frame the verses with innocuous precision. (Erika Fredrickson) Indie actress and singer Zooey Deschanel also backs up M. Ward in a few songs. In the warmly strummed “Rave On” her voice floats in a cloud of processed layers, but in “Never Had Nobody Like You” she gets a chance to show her clear, confident lungpower. Hold Time finds M. Ward breaking out of his sullen hiding place and into a charismatic openness. The sincerity behind his varied styles—lonesome Appalachian and rockabilly undercurrents—is what’s put this February release on everyone’s list of top albums from NPR to Pitchfork. M. Ward hasn’t lost his edge, just gained another intriguing dimension. (Erika Fredrickson) giant leap forward by blending their swampy sound with a handful of rap and hip-hop artists. Blakroc isn’t “officially” a Black Keys record, but it may as well be. Musically it sounds like the same band that recorded Attack and Release, but the vocals—with guests like Mos Def, Ludicris and the late Ol’ Dirty Bastard—are like nothing the band has released before. The results are mixed at times, but when the formula works, it smokes like a burning pile of Akron’s finest rubber. Highlights include “What You Do to Me,” a sultry number where the raps take a support role to the sexy vocal trade-offs between Auerbach—who has one of the best voices in rock—and R&B singer Nicole Wray. When the grooves get this deep, there’s no denying Blakroc is an experiment worth checking out. (Chris La Tray)

Missoula Independent

Page 35 December 17–December 24, 2009


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Page 36 December 17–December 24, 2009

Memorable Christmas albums generally fall into two distinct categories: entrenched classics and temporary favorites. The latter can certainly become the former over time, but it takes years of familiarity, an elusive full-family consensus and a few defining moments—like, say, drunken sing-a-longs—to establish a bona fide classic. At least the classics can be easily identified. Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas,” released in 1947, redefined the modern Christmas song, and the entire album by the same name holds up over time. Frank Sinatra’s “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” stands out as just one classic from his 1957 album, A Jolly Christmas. Maybe Burl Ives’ original Rudolph the RedNosed Reindeer soundtrack makes the list, along with Ella Fitzgerald’s Swinging Christmas. All of these, it should be noted, came out before John F. Kennedy was elected president. More recent examples are considerably harder to pin down. My family embraced the Very Special Christmas series for a few years, but I haven’t seen nor heard of it since the likes of John Mellencamp ( Volume 1), Bon Jovi ( Volumes 1 and 2), Michael Bolton ( Volume 2), Debbie Gibson (also Volume 2) and Hootie and the Blowfish ( Volume 3) lost their luster. Joke Christmas albums don’t have any lasting effect. Every contemporary diva’s prerequisite holiday album sounds the same, except for Sarah McLachlan’s Wintersong, which only stands out now because it makes me think of starving one-eyed puppies. Bruce Springsteen’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” always gets airplay this time of year, but it never made it onto a full album. Same with The Kinks’ “Father Christmas,” which was on an album, just not one full of holiday tracks. In fact, the only two recent albums in the running for entrenched status at my house are Aimee Mann’s hushed One More Drifter in the Snow (2006) and the classy 2006 collection of instrumental holiday songs, December’s Quiet Joy, from local guitarist John Floridis. All of which is a long way of expressing the shock, relief and unrepentant bliss of discovering two classic-worthy Christmas albums released this year. Technically they’re not “new” like David Archuleta’s holiday album is new—one is re-mastered, the other unearthed from a forgotten era— but that’s just semantics. These two albums ooze a fresh spirit and celebration of the season. Just consider the titles on In the Christmas Groove, Strut Records’ collection of obscure 1960s and 1970s soul B-sides: “Santa’s Got a Bag of Soul” by the Soul Saints Orchestra, “Soul Santa” by Funk Machine, “Funky Funky Christmas” by Electric Jungle, “Boogaloo Santa Claus” by J.D. McDonald and “Getting Down for X-Mas” by Milly & Silly. Each

track opens with the obligatory jangle of jingle bells—a must, really, for traditionalists—before breaking into furiously up-beat Mo Town-flavored merriment. Santa’s not just full of cheer here, he’s downright feisty. Despite the heavy party vibe, the tracks that milk the melancholy of the season may be the best. Captain Elmo McKenzie & the Roosters offer a lilting, longing Calypso version of “Home On Christmas Day.” The Harlem Children’s Chorus, meanwhile, steals the album with a pointed response to Crosby ’s “White Christmas.” “Black Christmas” is about peace on earth, but in the ghetto. It ends with the message—delivered by the sweet tones of a young boy on lead vocals—that “black is just as beautiful as white.” For anyone left a little unfulfilled by James Brown’s too-slick Funky Christmas, the raw sense of everything—production, writing, emotion—on In the Christmas Groove is your answer. Raw would be the opposite of how to describe the re-mastered, bonus-track version of Ray Charles’ The Spirit of Christmas. For most, the original 1985 album is largely forgotten except for one song— “That Spirit of Christmas,” which was the soundtrack to Clark Griswold’s home movie viewing while stuck in the attic during National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. A great scene, but hardly the only thing worth remembering about Charles’ contribution to the holiday canon. The Spirit of Christmas features backup vocals from the Raelettes on “The Little Drummer Boy,” perhaps the best song on the album. Jazz greats Freddie Hubbard (trumpet) and Rudy Johnson (tenor sax) appear on “All I Want for Christmas.” The bonus track, “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” is a duet with legendary jazz vocalist Betty Carter. Whereas In the Christmas Groove shimmies and shakes its way into the Christmas spirit, Charles’ album slides in with the steady hand of seasoned pros. The holidays are as much about tradition as anything, and music choices are the same as ornaments passed down from generation to generation. My grandparents wrapped gifts for my parents while listening to Crosby and Sinatra, and my parents did the same for me while maybe adding Band Aid’s “Do They Know It’s Christmas” to the mix. Breaking into such a hallowed rotation ain’t easy, but every once in a while an album—or two—deserves a shot. Call them temporary favorites, if you must, but something tells me the funky sounds of “Soul Santa” will be a part of my holiday tradition long after The Taylor Swift Holiday Collection is forgotten. sbrowning@missoulanews.com


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The film adeptly weaves multiple plot lines in In the closing moments of Clint Eastwood’s Invictus the South African Springbok Rugby team which the struggle is the same: overcoming the takes its final kick at the 1995 World Rugby Cup anger of the past and facing the fears of the future. Championship Game. I won’t give away the game’s Mandela’s government balances on the knife’s edge resolution, though many will already know it, but I as he works to be the president of “all South will say that by film’s end the viewers get the win. Africans.” Again, the price is high and the film doesn’t The film is both emotionally sincere and politically flinch from the history of how politics split the accurate, a rare combination for movies that attempt Mandela family in two. Mandela’s presidential bodyto document South Africa’s surprisingly non-violent guards and the Springboks both have to adjust to playing with and for the old “enemy.” Mandela transition to democracy. Invictus tells the difficult and still unresolved story of national reconciliation in post-Apartheid South Africa. It does so through the vehicle of sport, something that is often symbolically linked to the imagination of any nation in complicated and sometimes dangerous ways. (At this intersection between identity, politics and sport think of Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympics or the history of racial violence that haunts European soccer play.) Mandela, a consummate statesman and arguably the most charismatic politi- Hand puppets played a surprisingly important role in the cian of our age, knew that sport fight against Apartheid. could be used to marshal national unity in South Africa. Accordingly, he put the wants his idea of a “rainbow nation” to be reflected Springbok World Rugby Cup near the center of his in the makeup of his bodyguards. Members of the ANC (The African National Congress, once an armed “post-racial” politics after his 1994 election. The difficulty of reconciliation and the depth of nationalist party) must work side by side with memthe racial division that characterized South Africa are bers of the South African Special Branch Services, both beautifully and starkly represented in the film’s many of whom were responsible for the worst opening montage. Morgan Freeman as Mandela excesses of Apartheid. The Springboks initially labor travels toward his inauguration on a two-lane road against the slogan “One Team, One Nation.” In operthat, following the logic of Apartheid, separates ating against black and white stereotypes (without black from white and poverty from wealth. Black denying the history of violent oppression in South soccer players cheer Mandela’s presidential convoy Africa) Invictus becomes more than just the “feelfrom one side of the road, while white rugby players good” movie that it most assuredly is. The acting is strong. Freeman’s Mandela is a look on in silence from the other. In the face of these historically entrenched divi- man and not a saint (although Mandela himself sions Mandela is known to have argued “don’t seems as close to that state of transcendence as any address people’s minds, address their hearts.” human can get). Damon’s portrayal of François During his 27-year confinement in Robben Island Pienaar, the Springbok’s team captain, is remarkable Prison, Mandela took the time to master the rules for its physicality and dialect work. The rugby itself, and tactics of rugby in order to connect with his however, is not perfectly filmed. The choice to film Afrikaner guards and wardens—men who loved the almost all of the rugby action in close and medium game and the Springboks as famously as black South shots means that much of the strategic complexity of Africans hated the team for their connection to the a game that has been called a chess match played at speed with great, brutal violence, is lost. white Afrikaans community. Minor flaws aside and with its heart worn on its In fact, Eastwood, Freeman, Matt Damon and the film’s other actors follow Mandela’s “address sleeve, Invictus is a political drama for our time: an their hearts” sentiment to the letter, allowing era in which social division seems to have led to a Invictus to be an authentically poignant film. With a kind of national stasis over everything from health few notable exceptions (Kyle Eastwood misses with care legislation to the notion of “America” itself. In the soundtrack, taking a left-hand turn into senti- that context, as well as on its own terms, the drama mentalist city at minute 40), the film avoids easy of a president and a people moving through and emotional gains: There are no clear victories in the beyond a history of terror, oppression and racism is end. The final shots of Invictus frame Freeman in inspiring. close-up in the back of his car, his fingers rubbing Invictus continues at the Carmike 10. the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed, his face a mask of weariness and a sign of the human cost of the work done in South Africa. arts@missoulanews.com

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Page 37 December 17–December 24, 2009


Scope Independent movie times run only through Tue. this week at Kalispell’s Stadium 14 and Hamilton’s Pharoahplex.

OPENING THIS WEEK ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS THE SQUEAKQUEL In case you didn’t get your fill the last time around, your favorite animated rodents are back—high-pitched voices and all—in order help bail out a sinking school music program by shredding in a battle of the bands competition. Showboat Cinema in Polson: 4, 7 and 9. AVATAR Sam Worthington gets a 3-D makeover as he plays an ex-Marine whose alien body and human mind is sent to pillage a new planet for its resources. Does a chance encounter with a female humanoid help keep his eyes on the bounty? Carmike 10: 4:30, 7, 8 and 10:30 with additional Fri.–Sun. shows at noon, 1, 3:30 and 4:30. Village 6 in 2-D: 7 and 10:30 with additional Sat.–Sun. shows at noon and 3:30. Pharaohplex in Hamilton: 7 only with Sat.–Sun. shows at 3. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Sun. at noon, 1:30, 3:30, 5, 7 and 8:30 with additional Fri.–Sat. shows at 10:30 and midnight and Mon.–Tue. at noon, 1, 3:30, 4:30, 7 and 8. Mountain Cinema in Whitefish: 4:30 and 7:30 with additional Sat.–Sun. show at 1:15. Entertainer in Ronan: 4 and 7:20.

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Village 6: 7:20 and 9:30 with additional Sat.–Sun shows at 1:40 and 4:35. BROTHERS Toby Maguire returns from deployment in Afghanistan, only to realize his bro Jake Gyllenhaal hooked up with his wife Natalie Portman. Who’s gonna win the dukeout? Carmike 10: 4:15, 7:10 and 9:50 with additional Fri.–Sun. show at 1:35. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 6:50 and 9:35 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. DISNEY’S A CHRISTMAS CAROL Jim Carey begs for laughs as the curmudgeonly Ebenezer Scrooge in this 3-D remake of Charles Dickens’ classic. Carmike 10: 4, 7 and

Movie Shorts

additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. Mountain Cinema in Whitefish: 4:15, 7 and 9:30 with additional Sat.–Sun. show at 1:30. NEW YORK, I LOVE YOU Love literally oozes from the screen as Natalie Portman, Orlando Bloom, Shia LaBeouf and others traverse the multifaceted mountains of adoration in the Big Apple through a collection of short stories. Wilma Theatre: 7 nightly with no shows Sat. and Thu. and a Sun. matinee at 1. OLD DOGS John Travolta and Robin Williams play career junkies forced into paternity when twins land at their feet. Village 6: 7:30 and 9:45 with additional Sat.–Sun. shows at 1:30 and 4:30.

al Sat.–Sun. show at 3 and no 9 show on Sun. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at noon, 12:30, 2:20, 3, 4:40, 5:20, 7:10, 7:40, 9:30 and 10 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. THE ROYAL BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER A toy turns into a soldier and sweet dance moves get delivered via snowflakes and much more during The Royal Ballet’s rendition of this classic fairy tale. Carmike 10: 1 only on Sun. A SERIOUS MAN A physics prof gets the shaft in more ways than one and turns to Judiac masters in this newest Coen brothers flick. Wilma Theatre: 9 nightly with no shows Sat. and Thu. and a Sun. matinee at 3.

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE MORGANS? Sarah Jessica Parker and Hugh Grant are Manhattanites with a marriage on the rocks. But witnessing a murder transplants them to Dick Cheney’s Wyoming stomping grounds—and their new digs in the boondocks just might salvage their love. Carmike 10: 4:35, 7:10 and 9:45 with additional Fri.–Sun. show at 1:45. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:20, 2:45, 5:10, 7:30 and 9:50 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. Mountain Cinema in Whitefish: 4, 6:50 and 9 with additional Sat.–Sun. show at 1:15. PRECIOUS An African American teen in Harlem gets dealt many blows: She’s impregnated by her father, her mom is an abusive she-devil, and she’s illiterate. But a vigorous alternative-school teacher may help her find hope. Wilma Theatre: 7 and 9 nightly with no show Thu. and Sun. matinees at 1 and 3.

NOW PLAYING 2012 John Cusack plays a divorced dad skirting the acrimony of Mother Earth as she goes cannibalistic on peeps. Pharaoplex in Hamilton: 7 only, with Sat.–Sun. show at 3. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 1:20, 4:55 and 8:30 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. Showboat Cinema in Polson: 4:15 and 7:15. THE BLIND SIDE Sandra Bullock plays an upper-crust mom who takes in a homeless teen and helps him realize his dreams of playing pigskin. Carmike 10: 4:20, 7:10 and 10 with additional Fri.–Sun. show at 1:25. Pharaoplex in Hamilton: 6:50 and 9:15 with additional Sat.–Sun show at 3. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:10, 1:15, 3:15, 4, 6:05, 7, 8:45 and 9:40 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. Mountain Cinema in Whitefish: Showing until Dec. 22 at 4:15, 7 and 9:30 with additional Sat.–Sun. show at 1:30. THE BOONDOCK SAINTS II: ALL SAINTS DAY Your favorite pistol-packing Irish brothers who only kill evil people are back in Beantown, looking to off a slayer who murdered a good priest.

Missoula Independent

“Say hello to my little friend.” Did You Hear About The Morgans? opens Friday at the Carmike 10. 9:30 with additional Fri.–Sun. show at 1:15. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7:05 and 9:20 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. EVERYBODY’S FINE Robert De Niro tries to reforge a relationship with his spawn after his wife dies, but will Drew Barrymore and Kate Beckinsale bite back? Village 6: 7 and 9:30 with additional Sat.–Sun. show at 4:30. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 1:30, 4:15, 6:45 and 9:15 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. FANTASTIC MR. FOX Wes Anderson dips his fingers into animated kids’ flicks with this story about a shrewd, chicken-snatching fox voiced by George Clooney. Village 6: 7:20 and 9:30 with additional Sat.–Sun. shows at 1:05, 3:10 and 5:15. INVICTUS Morgan Freeman plays Nelson Mandela and uses Matt Damon’s deft rugby skills as a means to quell the remnants of segregation in South Africa. Carmike 10: 4, 7 and 10 with additional Fri.–Sun. show at 1. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:15, 3:25, 6:30 and 9:25 with

Page 38 December 17–December 24, 2009

Pharaoplex in Hamilton: 7 and 9 with Sat.–Sun. show at 3 and no 9 show Sun. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:10, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15 and 9:45 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight. OLIVIA WINTER WONDERLAND Your kids’ beloved animated oinker named Olivia hits the screen for this Christmas-themed cartoon. Village 6: 1 only on Sat.–Sun. PLANET 51 An astronaut sets foot on a new planet, only to discover aliens that embrace the corn-fed lifestyles of mainstream 1950s America. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:05, 2:15 and 4:35. Showboat Cinema in Polson: Until Dec. 22 at 4, 7 and 9. THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG New Orleans finally gets positive, post-Katrina exposure in this animated tale about a prince turned frog who hopes to leap back to manhood with the help of a naïve girl, voodoo practitioner and other bayou dwellers. Carmike 10: 5:05, 5:40, 7:20, 8 and 9:35 with additional Fri.–Sun. shows at 12:35, 1:05, 2:50 and 3:20. Pharaohplex in Hamilton: 7 and 9 with addition-

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON A teen whose love was sucked dry by a vampire finds pleasant distraction through motorbikes, werewolves and American Indian history. Carmike 10: 4, 7 and 9:50 with additional Fri.–Sun. show at 1. Village 6: 7 and 9:50 with additional Sat.–Sun. shows at 1 and 4. Pharaoplex in Hamilton: 6:50 and 9:15 with Sat.–Sun. show at 3. Stadium 14 in Kalispell: Fri.–Tue. at 12:10, 3:40, 6:40 and 9:30 with additional Fri.–Sat. show at midnight.

Capsule reviews by Ira Sather-Olson. Moviegoers be warned! Show times are good as of Fri., Dec. 18. Show times and locations are subject to change or errors, despite our best efforts. Please spare yourself any grief and/or parking lot profanities by calling ahead to confirm. Theater phone numbers: Carmike 10/Village 6–541-7469; Wilma–728-2521; Pharaohplex in Hamilton–961-FILM; Roxy Twin in Hamilton–363-5141. Stadium 14 in Kalispell–752-7804. Showboat in Polson, Entertainer in Ronan and Mountain in Whitefish–862-3130.


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