Mitzvah Spring 2011 by Mitzvah Magazine

Spring 2011

mitzvahmag.com

THE

BIG DAY honoring the SpIrITuAl JournEY

plAnnInG the RiGht CElEBrATIon ExpErIEnCInG

ISrAEl Cover_Mitzvah Spring_2011.indd 1

+When

Adults Get

Bar/Bat Mitzvahed

3/28/11 4:29 PM

8&45 5) 453&&5Ã¯ 5*.&4 426"3&Ã¯ /&8 :03,

"/ &-&("/5 4&55*/( */ 5)& )&"35 0' 5*.&4 426"3&

'03 13*7"5& 1"35*&4 "/% $03103"5& &7&/54 #ALL OR VISIT US ONLINE AT %DISON"ALLROOM COM

inside

30 6 8 14 18 22

EDITOR’S NOTE In The Moment

MASTER PLANNER

TIMELINE

TZEDAKAH Why mitzvah projects are an essential part of the journey

PARENT TALK After the bar/bat mitzvah, moms and dads share advice

NEVER SAY NEVER Some people having their bar/ bat mitzvah are already adults

THE BIG TRIP To celebrate a bat mitzvah, one family took an intergenerational trip to Israel

38 48

A party planner gives the full scoop on planning her own child’s big day Our bar/bat mitzvah timeline will help you stay on track

WHOSE PARTY? Thoughts on how to balance the need of the kids and the needs of the adults

THE HOT LIST Fun trends in bar/bat mitzvah celebrations

CHECKLIST The reminder list you can’t overlook

On the cover: Photo by Sarah Merians. www.sarahmerians.com For more articles and ideas, visit mitzvahmag.com

Mitzvah Spring 2011

TOC_0411MITZ.indd 4

3/29/11 1:50 PM

DebsFamilyDisco.qxd

4/30/07

8:17 PM

Page 1

You are CordiallY invited to Honor Your Guests A

Publication

Editor Eric Messinger emessinger@manhattanmedia.com

Unique JNF invitations by Encore Studios let you plant a tree or make a contribution towards JNF’s water development projects in Israel in honor of each guest. What a perfect way to enhance your occasion with a mitzvah: support Israel and celebrate your special day at the same time! A portion of your purchase is tax deductible. “Our family and friends were delighted that trees were planted in Israel in their honor through JNF…” —Janice & Evan Kohn, Parents of Bar Mitzvah boy, David, Chicago, IL For more information visit www.jnf.org/invitations or call 1-800-700-1312.

Art Director George W. Widmer gwidmer@manhattanmedia.com Executive Editor Bethany Kandel bkandel@manhattanmedia.com Deputy Editors Meira Drazin, Katie Main Contributing Photographer Sarah Merians sarah@sarahmerians.com Publisher John Hurley jhurley@manhattanmedia.com Associate Publisher Mary Ann Oklesson maoklesson@manhattanmedia.com Senior Advertising Managers Ceil Ainsworth cainsworth@manhattanmedia.com Marty Strongin mstrongin@manhattanmedia.com

Manhattan Media President/CEO Tom Allon tallon@manhattanmedia.com CFO/COO Joanne Harras jharras@manhattanmedia.com © 2009 Manhattan Media, LLC 79 Madison Avenue, 16th Floor, New York, NY 10016 t: 212.268.8600 f: 212.268.0577 www.manhattanmedia.com New York Family is a division of Manhattan Media, publishers of AVENUE magazine, Our Town, West Side Spirit, New York Press, City Hall, Chelsea Clinton News, The Westsider and The Blackboard Awards.

Visit our website at www.mitzvahmag.com, or e-mail us at mitzvahmag@manhattanmedia.com

Mitzvah Spring 2011

TOC_0411MITZ.indd 6

3/29/11 1:30 PM

editor’s note

In The Moment It might be a year away, or it might be in two months. Either way, it’s going to be great. Your child will know their Torah portion. You’ll enjoy your time with the rabbi and the cantor. Your speeches will hit the right notes. The caterer and entertainment will come through. Yes, you’ll be inundated with details getting friends and family together to celebrate this important milestone in your child’s Jewish life. But you’ll manage. And most importantly, you really will be in the moment when the time comes and you’ll be so proud of your child. And they’ll love it every time you say it. You may not feel this way when you’re planning a bar/bat mitzvah celebration, but the spiritual import of the journey—its momentousness for your child, its shared joy—will always come to the fore if you let it, and everything else will naturally fall into place. That’s our big message, and the way we try to re-enforce it is with stories about the spiritual aspects of the journey and related Jewish issues, and other savvy and practical articles on party planning. Wherever you are on your journey, we try to help, providing ideas for mitzvah projects, party trends, tips from other parents who have been there recently, and much more. Perhaps we’ll inspire you to take the family to Israel. In this particular issue, we even have a story about people having their bar/bat mitzvahs later in life. Learn About Our Mitzvah Expos: In the year ahead, we will be sponsoring a few events that will be very helpful to families in bar/bat mitzvah planning mode. Send your email address to mitzvahmag@manhattanmedia.com, and you’ll be in the loop. Mazel Tov to you and your family! Bethany Kandel (blkandel@aol.com)

Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah Program, a new and modern approach to classic training, combines the highest quality religious instruction with independent thought and creativity to fully engage young adults in this very important experience. While our program gives our students the ability to express their individuality, it simultaneously connects them to community. For more information, contact Rabbi Kalb at 212.415.5767, DKalb@92Y.org or visit www.92Y.org/Connect 92Y Connect Bar/Bat Mitzvah programs receive major funding from The Samuel Bronfman Foundation.

An agency of UJA

www.92Y.org Lexington Avenue at 92nd Street

Mitzvah Spring 2011

EdNote_0411.indd 8

3/29/11 1:35 PM

LevyLighting_MITZ_0311.indd 1

3/28/11 4:32 PM

The Statue of Liberty

& Ellis Island

for 30 to 1000 Guests Patti Golden, Director of Sales t.212.344.0996

Evelyn Hill Inc.

pgolden@thestatueofliberty.com www.thestatueofliberty.com

EvElyn HIll Inc. IS an autHorIzED concESSIonEr of tHE natIonal Park SErvIcE, DEPartmEnt of tHE IntErIor

tzedakah

adding a Mitzvah Project to your SPecial day By Bethany Kandel

Michael Jurick

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Tzedakah_Mitz0411.indd 12

3/29/11 1:38 PM

develop a unique one just for them.” Previous participants include a child with severe food allergies who raised money to buy cutting edge research equipment at Mount Sinai Hospital including a laser scanning instrument to detect al-

“Teaching kids to be a blessing unto others should be what a bar or bat mitzvah is about,” says Rabbi Robert Levine of Congregation Rodeph Sholom, a reform synagogue on the Upper West Side. Since tzedakah, or charity, is a duty and obligation of a Jewish adult starting with the bar/bat mitzvah, many young adults choose to earmark a portion of their gifts for a worthy cause. Others get involved in a volunteer project that matches their personal interests or hobbies. “Now the question is not only where are you having your party and what is your torah portion, but what is your mitzvah project?,” says Leslie Pappas of UJA-Federation of New York’s Give a Mitzvah - Do a Mitzvah program that enables b’nai mitzvah students to support projects of their choice and help people in need. “We don’t work off a list of projects that they choose from,” explains Pappas. “We take each child’s passions and

lergic antibodies which attach to food proteins and a young equestrian who helped start a therapeutic horseback riding program at a camp for children with special needs. Donating money can be just the beginning. “We think it’s really important for kids this age to see, feel, touch and be involved in the project,” says Pappas. “It’s very easy to send a check, but it’s a much different experience to meet the people you are helping.” The young equestrian, for example, has visited the camp with her friends to teach the children how to brush and take care of the horses. The opportunities for doing such mitzvoth are endless and the impact can not only be empowering, but lifechanging. Here are some organizations that will help you get involved:

Sarah Merians

Planning for a bar or bat mitzvah is a lot more than simply choosing a venue, hiring a DJ and picking out an outfit. Many synagogues today require mitzvah projects as part of their b’nai mitzvah curriculum.

UJA Federation’s Give a Mitzvah-Do a Mitzvah program helps bar/bat mitzvah students create their own Mitzvah Spring 2011

Tzedakah_Mitz0411.indd 13

3/29/11 1:41 PM

unique mitzvah project that connects their interests and hobbies to help those in need. A UJA-Federation mitzvah coordinator works one-on-one with each student to brainstorm ideas and then implement them, creating a meaningful project for them to contribute their time, energy and a portion (or all) of their gifts. A minimum donation of $1,800 is required. Contact: Brittany Wayne, 212-836-1460, www.ujafedny.org/mitzvah-programs The Jewish National Fund has a Simcha Program which enables bar/bat mitzvah age children to commemorate the occasion by linking their names to a child who perished in the Holocaust. For a donation of $1,800 they can have a ceramic tile embedded in a stone “remembrance wall” in Jerusalem’s American Independence Park with their name, hometown, bar/bat mitzvah date, and the name and country of a lost child. Proceeds go to develop and maintain five Israeli campsites. Families can also support Israel by planting trees and funding water reservoirs. Tree and water certificates acknowledging these donations can be used as personalized one-of-a-kind invitations or party favors. You can also order blue and white JNF rubber bracelets as meaningful giveaways. 800-700-1312, www.jnf.org/get-involved/celebrate The Israel Cancer Research Fund created a “Junior Partners” program to enable young people who want to support both Israel and cancer research. The ICRF will work with each child to tailor their mitzvah project to their interests and assist them in designing signs, labels or flyers as needed. Past projects have included a bike-a-thon, raffle, and bake sale, with the proceeds going directly to support Israeli scientists doing cancer research. Young philanthropists will be featured in the future on the ICRF website, currently being renovated, and may be invited to organization events

where they can meet some of the scientists they have helped support. Contact: Donna Kurz at 212-969-9800 x 224, mailto:donna.kurz@icrfny.org Areyvut helps young men and women find challenging, community-based projects to get involved with based on their interests and personal development goals. Past projects include a fundraising bike-a-thon, father-son charity baseball game, and toy collection drives. Areyvut also sponsors several volunteering fairs throughout the year. 201-244-6702, www.areyvut.org Remember Us: The Holocause B’nai Mitzvah Project offers children preparing for bar/bat mitzvah to connect with the memory of children lost in the Holocaust before they could be called to the Torah. The project provides the name of a lost child, information about him/her, and suggestions for simple acts of remembrance including mentioning them in a d’var Torah or doing mitzvoth in the name of the child. 707-570-2883, www.remember-us.org Books, Bears, Bonnets helps families create gift-box centerpieces to use at their parties and then donate them to children and adults fighting cancer. For a suggested donation of $35 a box, the Bethesda, MD, organization sends everything you need -- the boxes (in bright colors), all the gift items, cellophane wrapping, bows, and hangtags that explain where they are being donated. Then the bar/bat mitzvah child and his or her family and friends put them together. Not only does this hands-on project bring people together to create a useful centerpiece, instead of those that often get discarded at party’s end, “It’s nice to bring a smile to people in the fight for their lives,” says founder Merrily Ansell. Contact: 301-602-7581, www.booksbearsbonnets.org

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Tzedakah_Mitz0411.indd 14

3/28/11 5:15 PM

Your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a once-in-a-lifetime event, so be sure to celebrate it in a way they’ll never forget – at Dave & Buster’s. From delicious, chef-crafted food to hundreds of interactive video games in our Million Dollar Midway, there’s something for everyone. A big day requires a big celebration!

Times Square • 234 W. 42nd St., 3rd Floor • 646.495.2015 Westbury • The Mall at the Source • 516.542.8501 Farmingdale • 261 Airport Plaza Blvd. • 631.249.0708 Islandia • L.I.E. @ Vets. Memorial Hwy. • 631.582.6615 Buffalo • Eastern Hills Mall • 516.542.8501 Providence • Providence Place • 401.270.4555 Palisades • Palisades Center - Rockland County • 845.353.1555

daveandbusters.com/specialevents

PARENT TO PARENT

T A H I W ’D WISH

N W O N K I’D CE I V WHOSE CHILDREN RECENTLY AD OM FR NTS HAD THEIR BAR/BAT MITZVAHS E Forget the parenting books; moms planning that goes into making their PAR always say that the best advice they get children’s big day a huge success, we’ve is from other moms, so why should planning a bar or bat mitzvah be any different from discipline, potty training, or applying to preschool? Since moms (and of course, dads, too) are the brains behind most of the

gone directly to the heart of the operation to get tips to help you make your simcha special. Here are some of our favorites from parents who have been there/done that:

Mitzvah Spring 2011

BeenThereDoneThat.indd 16

3/28/11 5:17 PM

DON’T TAKE THE PRICE QUOTED BY THE RESTAURANT AS THE FINAL NUMBER. Negotiate. Let them know what

your budget is and see what they can do with it. They’ll often work with you to come up with a figure that makes you both happy. There are some obvious ways to cut costs: instead of an open bar, offer a limited drink menu of beer and wine, especially if it’s not a big drinking crowd; then run a tab for any other liquor ordered and pay separately for that. You’ll usually pay much less than being charged for an open bar per person by the hour. Also, if you’re showing a video montage, it helps if the restaurant has large screen TVs and a sound system so you don’t have to rent them. We just hooked up our computer to their system and it saved another expense. - Jayne Hickey 1. STAY ORGANIZED. Unless you really have special needs for catering, I think it’s best to use the caterer that the synagogue recommends because they are most familiar with the place. (Needs like certifications and insurance can be a real pain to scramble around for at the last minute).

2. If your date is during the holiday season (late Nov to early Dec) and you have out of town guests, be sure to book hotels early (up to 5-6 months in advance). Hotels are very expensive during that time of year (so consider Long Island City; easy cab ride into the city and half the price). 3. Remember that this party is for the child so food and entertainment should be appropriate. 4. See #3. The whole day is about the child and their milestone. It’s easy to get caught up in the party ($$$, etc.) but we found it very moving and important to try to slow it all down and enjoy it as a family. We’re not super religious, but being part of a community and having all of the people you love there to celebrate is really moving. - Sharon Sommers and Mark Thaler REMEMBER THIS IS ABOUT YOUR CHILD, keep it kid appropriate. We hosted a luncheon (in the Acella Club at Citifield) rather than an evening party past our son’s bedtime (which seems to be the norm for his secular classmates receptions). For each of the vendors I used I made comparisons with at least 3-4 companies. This was much more work than was necessary but it is my nature. Here are a few I had especially good experiences with: *I ordered the kid favors (a blue tie-died T) from customink.com. *We used Premier Coach to charter a bus. * Kris at The Color of Magic met our every expectation with floral design. *Tom Zuback, our photographer, was also another easy choice after the great, no pressure, no hard sell, job he did for us with our older son’s bar Mitzvah. As well as Jay and Alberto from Expressway for MC & DJ. By the way, for adult favors we designed a deck of cards with a stick on label for table seating assignments with Trans- Trade. - Jodi Weiss & Rich Birnbaum OUR DAUGHTER IS A DANCER, AND IN LIEU OF GIFTS,

Mitzvah Spring 2011

BeenThereDoneThat.indd 17

Michael Jurick

she asked family and friends to make donations to the Batsheva Dance Company in Israel. She wanted to pick an organization aligned with her interests and passions, and we encouraged her to choose a Jewish charity. A few weeks later, my wife received a visit from the executive director

3/28/11 5:17 PM

comfortable to your lifestyle, budget, and reflect a true sense of your family. - Tara Glicksman make sure iF you are having a DJ

of Batsheva, who was in town to start planning the company’s visit to New York next year. She wanted to meet Cindy in person to thank our daughter for supporting Batsheva in connection with her bat mitzvah. She was incredibly moved by our daughter’s decision to ask people to support the company. She asked how our daughter had made this decision and about her dancing in general. She said that if we come to Israel, we would be welcome to visit their dance studio and watch them rehearse. It was a brief visit, but the director really felt that it was important to express how touched and grateful Batsheva was. It’s become common for b’nai mitzvah celebrants to solicit contributions to charity in lieu of gifts. What made our daughter’s experience special is that she was inspired by her passion for dance to support a small arts organization in Israel, and the organization’s reaction taught her that these gestures have a real and meaningful impact. - Cindy and Matthew Haiken For me, the most important

thing was remembering what the day was really about. Yes, one has to choose the food (you should definitely have a fun kids’ menu), have a color scheme or meaningful theme, etc., but the day is for your son or daughter’s rite of passage. It’s their day to shine. If they – or the parents – are going to give a speech, make sure to leave lots of time so it’s not rushed. The whole process is a great way to connect with your child and to find deeper meaning beyond the externals. Some families pick a favorite charity to give to as well, which is another way to make the event meaningful. - Sheryl Miller to really know what kind oF

party you want to plan, it should be

that you give him a full play list of the music you want to hear at least a week before the event. Just mentioning a couple of songs usually leads to lots of music you – and your child – were not interested in hearing. - Shari Schwartzman my number one piece oF advice:

give people (friends and family members) jobs ahead of time. I wish I had given people more jobs even to make sure all the gifts were taken care of. We had a table in back for the gifts but some disappeared. Another tip: make sure all the electronic equipment you need works and is set up in advance. We didn’t have all the plugs we needed for the music to coordinate with the slide show. And communicate clearly with your DJ, photographer and videographer as to what you want and when you want it. Set up a plan in advance and have a schedule so everyone knows what to expect. - Laine Barton some thoughts in preparing For my second bar mitzvah:

• All things considered, be more inclusive in your guest list – there will be lots of no-shows and you’ll regret all the people you didn’t invite. • Beyond reading the Torah, focus on the bar mitzvah boy enjoying his party. • Make sure you have place cards for all the kids at the table. If you’re having party favors, they can be the place cards; place one labeled with

each kid’s name at his seat. • Bring a bag to the party to keep all cards that came with gifts in case they get separated (and they will). • Keep separate spread-sheets: one for the guest list addresses; one for guest’s response; one for gifts(including amount and date when the thank you went out). If I only had a third son, I’d be in dynamite shape! - Paula Vogel don’t be a stranger to your

synagogue until the day of the bar mitzvah. Attend services several times if you normally don’t, and even learn a portion of the torah reading so that you can participate in the ceremony. Your child will appreciate that he/she isn’t the only one doing the heavy lift-

ing, will gain an appreciation that becoming a bar mitzvah isn’t just about gifts and a party, and will learn that the day is a celebration of joining the Jewish community as a mature person. The whole experience – including the party – will be much more fulfilling for you, your family and friends, and the community. - Ken & Lenore Michaels i wish i had ordered 25 percent

less food at the kids’ party because the food just went uneaten. I had pizza, chicken wings and salad and it was a waste. They’re too busy dancing and having fun to eat. So you can definitely save money there. - Donna Henken

Mitzvah Spring 2011

BeenThereDoneThat.indd 18

3/28/11 5:17 PM

BOOK YOUR

EVENT The Best Bar/Bat Mitzvahs — Guaranteed fun for parents and kids Birthdays — Family Affairs — Full Array of Chef’s Menus Pool School and Games — 3 Private Entrances

PING PONG

POOL

MECHANICAL BULL

FOOSBALL

54 W E S T 21S T S TR E E T, B E T W E E N 5 T H A N D 6 T H AV E N U E S , N Y C 54 W E S T 21S T S TR E E–T,212.989.0096 B E T W E E N 5 T H– AEVENTS@SLATE-NY.COM N D 6 T H AV E N U E S , N Y C WWW.SLATE-NY.COM WWW.SLATE-NY.COM – 212.989.0096 – EVENTS@SLATE-NY.COM

later in life

By Annie LuBin

Mitzvah Spring 2011

LaterinLife-0411MITZ.indd 20

3/28/11 5:18 PM

EvEn If You’rE AlrEAdY An Adult, A BAr/BAt MItzvAh CAn BE A SpECIAl rItE of pASSAgE In June 2009, Arlene Rosen stood at the bima at Congregation Rodeph Sholom, flanked by thirty or so family members, and read from the Torah to commemorate the bat mitzvah ceremony she had been studying towards and anticipating for the past year. But instead of being surrounded by gushing grandparents, aunts and uncles, she was embraced by adoring children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. For the first time in her life, Rosen, at the age of 63, did something her son and daughter had already done before her. For Rosen it was an accomplishment that was fifty years in the making, but well worth the wait. “Thirteen year olds feel that a bar or bat mitzvah is something they have to do,” said Rosen, a marketing director who lives near Columbus Circle. “But as an adult you look at things differently…and because of that it can be a very meaningful experience. And it was an extremely meaningful experience for me.” Fifty years ago bat mitzvahs were just beginning to gain a bit of traction among certain Jewish circles but were still

not an option in many congregations, as was the case with Rosen. When she found out–while attending a lecture about the women’s torah commentary–that an adult bat mitzvah was a real option, she jumped on the opportunity. Among the Jewish rites of passage that are held near and dear to the hearts of practicing Jews throughout the country, a bar/bat mitzvah is something that stands out as a pivotal milestone. Yet, unlike a brit milah (circumcision), no ceremony is required for a person to become a bar or bat mitzvah; it is a rite of passage that simply occurs when one turns a certain age and does not need to be marked or commemorated. All of this makes the trend of adult bar and bat mitzvahs all the more interesting. Why go through a process as an adult that one never had to go through in the first place? However, if you ask those involved, they find the opposite to be startling. Why would a young person, not yet mentally or spiritually ready to take on the life lessons being taught to them, go through the process at such an immature age? Mitzvah Spring 2011

LaterinLife-0411MITZ.indd 21

3/28/11 5:19 PM

“Each of us came to this class with a lifetime of experiences and we associate the things we learn with everything we’ve done in our life,” said Sharon Steinbach, who is studying for her bat mitzvah along with eight others – including her husband -- at Temple Israel on the Upper East Side. “We use (those associations) to ask questions and it brings up memories. It’s a whole different perspective from when you’re thirteen and you don’t have these life experiences to learn from,” she said. Unlike their twelve and thirteen year old counterparts who probably view the process as a means to a big party with lots of presents and attention, the group at Temple Israel unanimously agreed that becoming a bar/bat mitzvah was more about the journey than the destination. Steinbach’s husband, Steven Blake, a recent convert to the faith, called the process a “milestone” in his continual growth as a Jew. “I don’t think my learning or studying will end once the ceremony is over,” he said. Both in their 60’s, it was Blake’s commitment to learning and becoming a bar mitzvah that drew his wife towards her pursuit of becoming one as well. For the participants in the two year program that meets once a week, commitment was a word that was thrown around a lot when discussing the goal at hand. “Everyone really wants to be here,” said the group’s teacher Cantor Sheila Nesis, 27. “There’s an enormous level of commitment and all of that makes for the perfect students. They have such a hunger to learn – it gives a new meaning to the Jewish experience.” Yet the stigma of this kind of ceremony being solely for those in middle school still remains. When the group told their friends, families and coworkers how they spend this hour every week, the reactions were very mixed: “When’s the party?” “Aren’t you supposed to be 13?” “You’re out of your mind.” Some, nervous about the feedback they might receive, haven’t offered that information to anyone. Nesis moved to New York City from Argentina four years ago and

this is her second year teaching the adult class. Of the nine participants in Nesis’ class, seven are women. And her previous class of five was composed entirely of women. The practice is more common among women who grew up at a time when bat mitzvah Arlene, at left, hugging her mom ceremonies were rare. It wasn’t until the 1970’s that bat mitzvah ceremonies became universal throughout the Reform, Conservative and Reconstructionist movements. Rabbi Sari Laufer, 32, teaches the adult b’nai mitzvah class at Rodeph Sholom, and agrees that although she encounters a wide spectrum of Arlene with her grandchildren participants, from converts to those who grew up as secular or even orthodox Jews, a lot of the participants fall within the generation of older women who grew up at the time when bat mitzvahs were not common. Laufer, who had a formal bat mitzvah when she turned twelve, thinks the adult bat mitzvah will be an ongoing trend that will continue even though Arlene with her children and grandchildren bat mitzvahs for young girls are now commonplace. As proof of the trend, there are “We may start calling it something more and more synagogues throughdifferent,” said Laufer, “but the reality out the city that have begun to offer is that at a certain point in their life adult bar mitzvah classes with the people get to this place of wanting commonality of intense learning and something more. And what’s nice an element of involvement with the about this process versus regular adult community and the synagogue. education is that this is very specific For Rosen, who began her bat mitzand focused and there’s this ceremony vah education over three years ago, the at the end -- you’re working towards learning and community involvement something.” has not stopped. “The initial class The adult class offered at the Park and the fact that I was bat mitzvahed Avenue Synagogue, taught by Canwhen I was, had such a profound effect tor Nancy Abramson and Rabbi Julia on me,” said Rosen, who continues Andelman is exclusively for women. to study Torah and chant the weekly After the new program was pitched Torah portions whenever possible. In to women over 40, Abramson said fact, for her upcoming birthday her she was “bombarded” with interested children suggested she celebrate it by participants. She decided to limit the chanting from the Torah, a suggestion class to only thirteen to avoid it being that would never have been made if what she called, “too much of a lecture not for her first commitment to beand less of an experience.” come a bat mitzvah two years ago.

Mitzvah Spring 2011

LaterinLife-0411MITZ.indd 22

3/28/11 5:19 PM

SE NYF Mitzvah 3-10_SE_NYF_Mitzvah_3-10 9/20/10 10:35 AM Page 1

CELEBRATE PIERS at the

Activity-Based Celebrations Catered Receptions â&#x20AC;˘ Kosher Options Available Chelsea Piers is proud to offer several unique and spectacular locations for Bar and Bat Mitzvah celebrations. Whether you are looking for a formal sit-down dinner, a casual reception with dancing, or an afternoon or evening of activities for family and friends, Chelsea Piers is the ideal location for your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s special day.

23rd Street & Hudson River Park | 212.336.6777

www.chelseapiers.com/mitzvah

NEW HORIZONS

BY MELISSA STOLLER Visiting Israel around the time my oldest daughter celebrated her bat mitzvah was always a dream of mine. So I started planting the seeds of an intergenerational trip several years in advance. Organizing my family of five would be easy: my husband Larry was an eager participant, and our three girls, Zoe (the 13 year-old bat mitzvah girl), Jessie (10), and Madeleine (4) were always excited for any exotic voyage. Next, I set the idea in motion with my mother and my

in-laws. This would be the first trip to Israel for all of us â&#x20AC;&#x201C; a special post-bat mitzvah journey that would not only be a family bonding experience, but would connect us to the land that we had read about and studied for all these years. During my childhood, my parents always talked about visiting Israel but never did due to the instability in that region of the world. My husband and I decided that we wanted to turn this dream into a reality, and what better time than during a bat mitzvah year.

Mitzvah Spring 2011

NEW_TheBigTrip_Mitz0411.indd 24

3/28/11 5:20 PM

indescribable feeling when I arrived in Israel. I didn’t understand what they meant until I was there and then the emotional reality of the voyage struck me. I was so lucky to share these unique and meaningful moments with my family. There are so many highlights of the trip, but here are some gems: in tel aviv: • Swimming in the Mediterranean and relaxing on the beach • visiting Tel Aviv’s Hall of Independence and learning about the emotional story of Independence • visiting the secret bullet factory beneath a kibbutz at the Ayalon Institute outside Tel Aviv • strolling through the chic Neve Tzedek area • walking through art galleries along the winding streets of Jaffa, outside Tel Aviv

Planning the triP After everyone was on board, I started the planning process. I envisioned a trip that would capture the essence of the bat mitzvah year, providing us with a spiritual and physical connection to Israel. Also, we wanted to gain a sense of the history, culture, people, and food of the country. And of course, we wanted to have fun and adventure, and to find activities to please all the generations. Most of all, we wanted to create a trip that would offer us lasting memories and meaningful connections with our family at this special moment in our lives. To start my research, I asked friends about trips they had taken to Israel, culled information about all the destinations we could possibly visit, and looked at many photo albums of the trips our friends enjoyed. I spoke to at least five travel professionals who had been recommended. I also read several Israel travel books and reviewed many Israel travel websites. Along with our travel professional, I developed a very detailed daily itinerary to ensure that we had room for all the experiences we planned to squeeze into12 days. I also left enough flexibility so that our daily plans could change if necessary, We decided to travel with a private guide and driver in a van suited to our group of eight. Guides in Israel are specially trained in history, culture, geography, politics, Biblical stories, and much more. Our guide/educator not only seemed to know everything, he became a part of our family and immeasurably enriched our learning as well as our enjoyment. He also helped us plan for activities for all the ages and interests of our varied group. During the triP Many people told me that I would experience a certain

in Jerusalem: • Wandering through the Old City, shopping at the bazaars and exploring the Western Wall tunnels • praying and leaving notes at the Western Wall • touring the Southern Wall excavations and the Davidson Center • participating in an archaeological dig at Beit Guvrin outside Jerusalem • viewing the Chagall Windows in the Hadassah Hospital • riding “The Time Elevator,” a simulator ride through Jerusalem’s history • shopping in the outdoor markets • seeing the Dead Sea Scrolls at the Israel Museum’s Shrine of the Book anD so much more: • Exploring the ruins of King Herod’s palace in Caesarea • viewing the scenic overlook in Haifa • walking in the footsteps of the Crusaders at Akko • planting trees in a JNF forest • visiting Safed, the city of Kabbalah • driving to the Golan Heights and witnessing the history of that area at the Bunkers on Mount Bental • taking a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee, and eating lunch and swimming at a seaside Kibbutz • riding a camel • floating in the Dead Sea • touring Masada • enjoying the delicious and elaborate Israeli breakfasts • participating in Shabbat dinners at the hotels • eating hummus, pita bread, and falafel several times a day; and drinking excellent Israeli wine. We tried to be creative about facilitating meaningful connections with our family during this special trip. During many dinners we asked the grandparents to share stories from their lives in order to bond in different ways with the children. Some good conversation starters were: tell us about your childhood and your Jewish education; how did you keep your Jewish home and raise Jewish children?; what are the most important elements of Judaism to you?; what Jewish experiences influenced you the most?; did you experience any challenges in your life due to being Jewish?; and what Jewish values do you hope to impart to your grandchildren? Mitzvah Spring 2011

NEW_TheBigTrip_Mitz0411.indd 25

3/28/11 5:21 PM

One night, my father-in-law talked about his bar mitzvah, and the grandmothers noted that when they were young, Jewish girls didn’t have the opportunity to be bat mitzvahed, and how lucky their granddaughters were to be able to study in religious school. This led my father-in-law to talk about how fortunate his family had been to escape religious persecution during the pograms in Russia. Our talks also evolved into discussions about the peace process and how everyone hoped that our girls would become active participants in their Jewish lives and in the Jewish community. Sometimes you never know where a discussion will lead but I learned that having a good connection question or prompt opens the door to meaningful communication. We also kept journals of our experiences. Even the youngest travelers can color or write simple words on journal pages, and everyone else can write their quick impressions, tape in souvenirs, or write detailed entries. Each night, we talked about our entries and what was special to us during that day. It was fascinating to note the different perspectives everyone brought to the experience depending on the lens of their background and interests. Post triP This intergenerational Israel trip was a truly meaningful experience and a special gift in our lives. We all felt that we learned about ourselves and each other, and the girls and their grandparents forged bonds through shared experienc-

starting her formal Jewish education. We are confident that our trip helped to forge strong connections between our girls and Israel, which I believe is crucial to shaping a commitment to Jewish identity. In fact, we are already planning our second trip to Israel for June 2012 to celebrate Jessie’s bat mitzvah. I hope that the connections we made with our family, with Israel, and with the Jewish community will continue to flourish. We felt an intense connection to the land when we were there, especially in Jerusalem, and that has stayed with us all. I hope that my girls will participate in youth group trips and will explore the Birthright program. And I certainly would be thrilled if, one day in the future, Larry and I travel to Israel with our children and their children when they celebrate their bar or bat mitzvahs. Melissa Stoller is co-author of The Parent-Child Book Club: Connecting With Your Kids Through Reading (with Marcy Winkler), HorizonLine Publishing, 2009, www.parentchildbookclub.com

Helpful Travel Tour WebsiTes

es. Additionally, the trip helped to solidify the girls’ Jewish identities. Zoe is now continuing with her confirmation studies and is active in our Temple’s youth group; Jessie is busy preparing for her bat mitzvah in 2012, and Maddie is

www.jnf.org/travel www.ujafedny.org/travel-to-israel www.arzaworld.com/israel-travel-guide.aspx www.israeltour.com/alerts/barmitzvah.php www.giltravel.com/bar-mitzvah-bat-mitzvah-tours.html www.ayelet.com/barbat2011ratesdates.html www.margaretmorsetours.com/mitzvah.htm www.tovagilead.com/israel.html www.isram.com/isram/index.htm

Mitzvah Spring 2011

NEW_TheBigTrip_Mitz0411.indd 26

3/28/11 5:22 PM

Amy Katz Event Plan

ner

… Let me t ake the stress out o f your planning, s o that you can enjoy y our party.

www.amyk

atzevents.c

1365 York Avenue Suite 19 E New York, NY 10021 AMF-1511_MitzvahMag_half-1.qxd:Mitzvah

Magazine - half pg H

3/18/11

10:41

MAZEL TOV.

212-535-8859 516-578-4362 alrconsultingny@aol.com AM Page 1

300 STYLE.

A traditional celebration. An Xtreme® environment. Celebrate your child’s bar or bat mitzvah at 300 New York. To schedule your event, call Catrina Reid in our Group Sales Office or visit us online. In the Chelsea Piers Sports & Entertainment Complex • 300newyork.com • 212.835.2695, ext 216

Partials_Mitz0311.indd 4

3/28/11 2:36 PM

ISRAEL-THEMED BOOKS:

To plan for the trip we read books to enrich our understanding of what we would be seeing while in Israel.

WHAT THEY ALL EXPERIENCED LARRY: One of my hobbies is to read about the history of Israel and the Jewish people. It was a magical experience to visit with my family, parents, and mother-in-law the places that in the past I could only read about. ZOE: I always enjoy our family trips but I have a special happiness knowing we all made our first trip to Israel in celebration of my bat mitzvah. JESSIE: I realize that I formed a real connection with the spiritual part of Israel. I found that I was really happy there and I felt that everyone in Israel was friendly and kind. I am excited to return for my bat mitzvah! MADELEINE: I loved the whole trip, and I especially remember standing on the terrace with my family overlooking Jerusalem and complimenting the night sky and the Old City. CONNIE BERGER, GRANDMOTHER: I have read many novels with Israel as the background as a member of my Temple book club, but since our trip to Israel, these books have come alive for me in a way which I never would have imagined. Most of all, the intergenerational trip was magical: the family bonding, closeness, and loving feelings were very strong and will continue always. MILLY AND IRV STOLLER, GRANDPARENTS: Israel is a wonderful, welcoming place. The first words we heard were “welcome home.” That’s exactly how it feels there. It feels like home. To live the experience of being Jews in a place where Jews are a majority instead of a minority, and Shabbat is on the “right” day, was unbelievable. To share the experience with our children, grandchildren and extended family was very, very special. We are so very grateful to have been able to make this trip

ADULT BOOKS: My mother, mother-in-law, husband and I all read the novel Exile by Richard North Patterson, and we had great discussions about the Arab-Israeli conflict. Several of us had also read The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant, People of the Book, by Geraldine Brooks, and Striking Back: The 1972 Munich Olympics Massacre and Israel’s Deadly Response, by Aaron J. Klein, and we talked about the themes in these books throughout the trip. Post trip, we read The Lemon Tree: An Arab, a Jew, and the Heart of the Middle East by Sandy Tolan, and discussed the novel in light of our recent experiences. And of course Exodus by Leon Uris is a classic. The Jewish Book Council lists many ideas for Jewish-themed adult books and resources for book clubs at HYPERLINK “http://www.jewishbookcouncil.org/ page.php?189” http://www.jewishbookcouncil.org/page.php?189. CHILDREN’S BOOKS: With our children, we read several Israeli-

WHAT TO THINK ABOUT WHEN PLANNING AN ISRAEL TRIP: GROUP OR PRIVATE TOUR: Think about whether you want to join a group tour or hire a private guide. A tour group allows you to meet other similarly-situated families and to possibly develop friendships with other members of the tour group. In addition, on a tour all the planning is already done for you, saving time and effort. However, your group needs to be able to fit into a larger group, which might include getting up early to depart for places of interest and moving from place to place with the group.

themed books and discussed them before and after the trip. A family book club centered around travel helps make connections between members of the group and helps connect the group to the places visited. The Anti-Defamation League offers an excellent list of Israel-related books for children and teens at HYPERLINK “http:// www.adl.org/israel/books/IsraelBooksList. pdf” http://www.adl.org/israel/books/IsraelBooksList.pdf. HERE ARE A FEW BOOKS FOR VARIED AGES THAT WE ENJOYED: • Sammy Spider’s First Trip to Israel, by Sylvia A. Rouss and illustrated by Katherine Janus Kahn. My youngest daughter still enjoys revisiting the places we saw every time we read this book. • Zvuvi’s Israel, by Tami Lehman-Wilzig and illustrated by Ksenia Topaz • Welcome to Israel!, by Lilly Rivlin • The Mystery of the Dead Sea Scrolls, by Hagit Allon, Iena Zehavi, Lena Zehavi, and illustrated by Yossi Abolafia. We read and discussed this book before we saw the Dead Sea Scrolls which definitely gave us background information and helped relate the experience to our lives. • The Secret Files of Lisa Weiss, by Tehila Peterseil

Travelling with a private guide allows you to plan all the details of your itinerary to suit the interests, ages and temperaments of your group’s members. Also, your private group can linger at destinations that interest you and can tailor the itinerary if you choose during the trip.

bers want to start touring? Will you all travel together every day or will you plan some activities to suit different members of your group? Try to ensure some down time each day for members of the group to relax and just breathe in the sights and sounds of Israel.

DAILY PLANNING: Think about the age ranges of your group and how to accommodate all the varied interests and ability levels. Think about how many days you have for travel and how much you want to fit in each day. Try to strike a balance between culture, history, adventure, and relaxation. Questions to consider include: how early in the morning do all the mem-

COST: Of course think about cost and what will be most appropriate for your family. There are many levels of hotels and dining in Israel, and cost considerations depending on whether you choose group or private travel. Travel insurance, while an additional cost, is very worthwhile to cover any health or travel emergency especially when travelling with older people.

Mitzvah Spring 2011

NEW_TheBigTrip_Mitz0411.indd 28

3/28/11 5:22 PM

the PARtY

The PRessURe

How a Bar/Bat MitzvaH ExpErt plannEd HEr own daugHtEr’s

siMcHa

was

B y S h e r i L a p i d u S , f o u n d e r o f M i t z va h M a r k e t. c o M

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Lapidus-0411MITZ.indd 30

3/28/11 5:24 PM

The ballroom at Temple Avodah in Oceanside, NY.

Simon Elliot Events

The pressure was on! As the founder of a website that caters to the bar/bat mitzvah industry, with thousands of readers across the country, I knew people were waiting to see how my family would celebrate my daughter Carly’s bat mitzvah in November 2010. When I was given her date 4 years ago, MitzvahMarket.com wasn’t even a thought, and I had no idea where to begin. Do I book a venue, put a DJ on hold, shop around for a photographer? My friends came to my rescue. I discovered that bar/bat mitzvah planning was the hot topic of conversation among everyone I knew and those who had already been through the planning process were a wealth of information. I quickly realized that this mom-to-mom advice is how most parents make it through the mitzvah planning process to create a

magical event for our children that will be remembered for years to come. And that became the basis for my website. So when it came time to plan my own daughter’s celebration, I was ready. I began to use bits and pieces of advice that had been sprinkled throughout the site. I not only wanted to keep in mind the significance of Carly’s bat mitzvah, but I also wanted to add creative and unique touches that would show my readers it wasn’t necessarily about how much you spend, but more about how it is done. Yet, even though I’m the expert and I had lots of ideas and vendors I wanted to use, like any parent, I had to keep in mind that this bat mitzvah celebration wasn’t about me; it was about Carly, who had definite opinions and ideas about what she wanted for her party. Mitzvah Spring 2011

Lapidus-0411MITZ.indd 31

3/28/11 5:24 PM

CHALLENGES There were many challenges during our planning process. The first was striking a balance between being creative and different, while keeping my daughter happy when she preferred to have a party “just like all of her friends!” What I thought would be our biggest hurdle actually turned into the easiest and most pleasant experience. I’m talking about “the dress.” Not only hers, but mine too! We both bought the first dresses we tried on. Carly’s was a hot pink long gown from 2 Be Seen in Syosset, NY, and mine was a Carlos Miele one shoulder bright turquoise long gown that was on a sale rack at Tallulah in Woodbury, NY. When you see the one you love, you’ll know it. Another challenge was picking a venue for her celebration. Since our date was in the beginning of November, we didn’t think bad weather would be a factor, but never the less, we didn’t want our guests to travel too

far. We made our guest list and realized we needed a space that could accommodate up to 300 guests. We decided on Temple Avodah in Oceanside, NY. The caterer was easy: I grew up down the block from Kenny Kombert of Kombert Caterers and knew their food was fantastic and their reputation was even better. His staff did not disappoint. They thought of everything -even putting earplugs on the tables for our older guests! The dresses were bought, the venue was booked; it was time for the planning to begin!

COST-SAVING IDEAS We had quite a few friends and family coming from out-of-town and wanted to let them know about hotel accommodations in advance, so we used PaperLessPost.com to create our “Save The Dates” and sent them out via email for a total cost of less than $10. I would have used this same concept for the invitations, but my sister, Amy Wohl used to own a custom

invitation business and offered to hand make each beautiful invitation using gray suede and Swarovski crystals. For our seating cards we wanted something both dual purpose and colorful. We found tins with clear tops at the crafts store AC Moore, filled them with M&Ms in hot pink, orange and turquoise to coordinate with our color theme, and attached a matching ribbon. Clear labels on the top of each tin gave guests their table numbers, using a cute M&M logo for “Mr. and Mrs.” In another DIY moment, we bought plain white pillar candles at Waldbaum’s, and then using masking tape, special glue and metallic glass micro beds in the décor colors, created a coordinated look around the bat mitzvah cake. All our party photography was done by Simon Elliot Events. They also did a photo session with our family at our Temple a few days prior to the service. Instead of having them create an album for us, they gave me high resolution photos on discs and I made my own album using the website blurb.com.

Carly in her dress during the celebration

Simon Elliot Events

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Lapidus-0411MITZ.indd 32

3/28/11 5:26 PM

“Using a special iPad podium, guests were able to write messages for Carly that displayed in real time on a plasma screen in the lobby of our venue.” Centerpiece by Spitz and Peck Florist.

“Spitz and Peck created three completely different centerpieces for the adult tables.”

Parker’s Crazy Cookies was a unique and clever product. I sent them Carly’s picture and we received custom animal cracker cookies that looked just like her! Our guests enjoyed them at the Friday night Oneg dinner, the Kiddush after Carly’s service and Sunday brunch. Everyone loved them! For Carly’s entrance video, Simon Miller from Simon Elliot Events used editing magic to create a short trailer for the new reality series we called, “The Bat Mitzvah-rette!” It was clever and short and was shown just before Carly was carried into her party by the dancers. Simon Miller was responsible for many of Carly’s unique touches including her iSign-in board – a new feature they debuted for Carly’s party. This exciting new service brings the sign-in board/book concept into the digital domain. Using a special iPad podium, guests were able to write messages for Carly that were displayed in real time on a plasma screen in the lobby of our venue.

FAVORS Carly’s celebration was one of the last of her grade, so I tried hard to talk

her out of a sweatshirt favor for her friends. She already had over 65 in her closet! So to be unique, we used A Promos USA/The Imagemaker to create the girls’ burnout shirt and the boys’ black thermal shirt. When we realized that our party fell on the night of daylight savings, we wanted to remind our guests to “turn back” their clocks. Whenever I leave a bar or bat mitzvah, the first thing I do in the car is remove my shoes, so I was very excited to surprise our adult female guests with a pair of comfy slippers as they were leaving. We had a label on the outside of the packaging with a cute poem that reminded them about the clocks and thanked them for coming. We also had Sunday’s Newsday waiting for guests. Tobo Foods created a special cover wrap which tied into Carly’s entrance video.

MITZVAH PROJECT Through Carly’s Hebrew school teacher, we were introduced to Edjia Esther Eiges Hiller (Edie), a Holocaust survivor. Over the past six months, Carly learned about her life and how her younger brother and the rest of her Mitzvah Spring 2011

Lapidus-0411MITZ.indd 33

Simon Elliot Events

CREATIVE TOUCHES As an alternative to the traditional candle lighting ceremony, we came up with “Carly’s Karaoke Candle Lighting.” With the help of a pro – Poems by Carolyn -- we wrote new words to 14 familiar songs that Carly recorded in advance in a studio at Simon Elliot Events. Guests sang along with Carly as the new words played over the sound system and the words appeared on the DJ’s screens. This made all our guests feel involved in the candle lighting ceremony. My husband Roy came up with a great idea for his “father daughter” dance. Carly loves TLC’s “Rock The Reception” and wanted to surprise our guests with a choreographed dance. Carly and Roy had their moment and began to dance to a Carly Simon song before the music stopped and our guests thought something had gone terribly wrong. Just a few seconds went by before 12 of Carly’s friends and their moms and dads jumped onto the dance floor as Usher’s song “DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again” started to play. That was a highlight of the party. Another unique touch came in the way of cookies! I always thought

3/28/11 5:26 PM

Simon Elliot Events

The Lapidus family (L-R: Roy, Evan, Carly, Sheri)

family did not survive the Holocaust. In their honor, Carly used some of her bat mitzvah money to make a donation to the Glen Cove Holocaust Center. We invited Edie and her family to Carly’s service and presented her with a special plaque that now hangs in the children’s garden.

After planning my daughter’s bat mitzvah I now know firsthand how stressful the mitzvah planning process can be. I love that my website can help make it easier and more fun for families, and hopefully we can make your day as special as Carly’s was. Author Bio: Sheri Lapidus is the founder of MitzvahMarket.com, a free online resource for mitzvah planning families that delivers clever, useful and entertaining ideas to make planning your child’s bar/bat mitzvah a bit easier and less stressful.

THE FOLLOWING VENDORS HELPED MAKE CARLY’S BAT MITZVAH SPECIAL. Invitations & Accessories: Amy Wohl fabudesigns.com 312-513-1698

Florist: Spitz and Peck 631- 367-9700 Musical Entertainment: Entertainment Tonite 516-826-6900 Special Cookies: Parker’s Crazy Cookie 510-847-2634

Save The Dates: PaperLessPost.com

Favors: A USA Promos/The Imagemaker 800-987-8766

Venue/Caterer: Kombert Caterers 516678-6161

Video/Photographer/Candle Lighting: Simon Elliot Events 516-582-6822

Candle Lighting songs: Poems By Carolyn 516-312-0727 Special Newsday Newspapers: Tobo Foods 516-623-4624 Beads for Candles: BlockheadStamps. com Sheri’s Dress: Tallulah 516-367-8010 Carly’s Party Dress: 2 Be Seen 516921-5777

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Lapidus-0411MITZ.indd 34

3/28/11 5:27 PM

TIMELINE

A Time to Plan

A STep-BY-STep GuIDe To pLAnnInG A MITzvAH To reMeMBer

B y e ly s s a ya z ow i t z

lthough your child may have just hit double digits, it’s likely you’re already dreaming about his or her upcoming bar/bat mitzvah. Many synagogues assign dates two, three, and even four years in advance, so there’s no reason you can’t start looking for a place to host your celebration, ask for business cards when you hear a DJ you like, or begin thinking about a theme as you start the planning process. After, all, the more you do in advance, the more relaxing the last few months and weeks leading up to your simcha will be. Here’s a timeline to keep you on track:

1 year before:

· Get the date from your synagogue. · Start thinking about what this rite of passage means to your family and your child and what type of celebration you want to have.

· Lock in a location, band/DJ, caterer, and photographer/ videographer. · If you are using a theme and/or color scheme for the event, choose it now to help in related decisions. · Book a block of rooms at a nearby hotel. · Send out “save the date” cards. This is especially important if your event is over a holiday weekend and/or you have many out-of-town guests who will need to purchase plane tickets. Include hotel information for advance reservations. · Look up your child’s torah portion and discuss its meaning. Help your child choose a mitzvah project.

12-18 MonthS before: · Draft a rough guest list so you have an estimate of the number of people (this will help you choose the venue). · Decide on a style for the event that suits your child, family, and budget so you’ll know what to look for. · Ask friends and relatives who have planned similar events for advice and recommendations. · Get price quotes from potential caterers, photographers, entertainers, venues, and party planners. Give deposits to any you’re seriously considering, keeping in mind that they may be non-refundable.

6-8 MonthS before: · Your child begins tutoring to learn the torah portion. Make time for such appointments, studying, and meetings with the rabbi and cantor.

sarahmerians.com

2-3 yearS before:

Mitzvah Spring 2010

Timeline_0411MITZ.indd 36

3/28/11 5:27 PM

· Develop a guest list with current addresses. Set up a computer spreadsheet to keep track of RSVPs, presents received, and when thank-you notes are sent. · Select and order invitations, thank-you notes, and personalized kippot. · Choose and order centerpieces, decorations, and party favors. · Organize photos for a video montage or sign-in board. · Plan any other events for the bar/bat mitzvah weekend, including a Friday evening Shabbat dinner or a Sunday brunch.

3 MonthS before: · Finalize menu, centerpieces, and decorations. · Shop for clothing for all family members. (Wait until one month before event to have a growing boy’s suit tailored.)

2 MonthS before:

sarahmerians.com

· Weigh invitation to ensure proper postage and mail invitations -- the earlier the better. If you get lots of negative responses, you may still have time to invite some people from your second-tier list. · If you’re holding a candle-lighting ceremony, choose the people to be honored and work with your child to write any introductions and choose corresponding music. · Develop a timeline for the event that includes formalities, horas, entertainment, and food service, and coordinate with the entertainers and caterers. · Make appointments for hair stylists, barbers, and manicurists.

· Make a play list for the DJ and a “do not play list” if there are songs you and your child definitely don’t want.

1 Month before: · Reconfirm all service providers and the time they are expected to arrive; discuss any special instructions (i.e., give a list of photographs you want taken to make sure the photographer gets them). · Create a seating plan as RSVPs arrive. Call anyone you haven’t heard from. Make place cards and alphabetize them. (If many RSVPs are still not in, add table numbers later as you finalize seating.) · Coordinate a rehearsal time with your synagogue. Some will allow you to video this event in lieu of the actual service. · Arrange hospitality baskets for out-of-town guests. Include a schedule of events and detailed directions. · Write speeches and toasts. · Have final clothing fittings.

1 week before: · Confirm final guest count with caterer. Remember: once you have guaranteed a number, this is what you will have to pay for, even if fewer guests show up. · Drop off seating cards at party location. · Get checks ready to pay any vendors on the day of your event. Remember to keep cash available for tips. · Take formal family pictures in the synagogue. · Relax and enjoy this special time with your child, family, and friends! Mitzvah Spring 2011

Timeline_0411MITZ.indd 37

3/28/11 5:28 PM

The generaTions

Whose Party is iT aNyway?

By Leora LamBert

How To THrow A BAr/ BAT MiTzvAH PArTy THAT

From the day a child is born, parents dream....of the beautiful person both inside and out that

MAkes THe PArenTs And

they hope to raise, of the successes

THe CHild HAPPy

offspring will attain, and the mile-

and accomplishments that their stones that they some day hope to celebrate, including a bar/bat mitzvah, graduations, and a wedding.

WhosParty.indd 38

Mitzvah Spring 2011

3/28/11 5:28 PM

And so, within the first eight days, the celebrations begin with a bris or a baby naming. This is the parents’ time and they plan the celebration exactly how they dream it should be and it is perfect. Fast forward twelve years and that precious baby who unknowingly, and usually happily – as long as he was fed, burped and clean – tagged along to his first milestone, is now an outspoken preteen with opinions of his own. He has likely blossomed and bloomed into his own person, but that only makes planning a party for him no simple feat. So how can parents throw a party that fulfills both their dream and their child’s at the same time? Perhaps the age old question that needs to be answered before starting any planning is: who is this celebration truly for? Is it for the parents who have worked tirelessly to raise an upstanding child? Is it for the child who has studied tirelessly for this momentous event and tremendous undertaking? Or is it a combination of the two? Like the process of attaining all good things in life, there is usually some give and take. Before sitting down to plan the party, take an honest look at yourself and your child and understand what each dreams and desires. Try to discuss the budget you’re working with, your family’s beliefs and traditions and come up with a compromise that makes everyone happy. Remember, sometimes, the apple actually does fall far from the tree. Here are some tHings to consider: do you want a large party or a small party? What does your child want? Is there a balance? Jay and Meredith are social butterflies who go out at every opportunity. They love being surrounded by friends and they tend to be the center of attention in a crowd. They always wanted to make a big party for their only son’s bar mitzvah. However, their son Michael is rather quiet and prefers to stay home or go to a friend’s house rather than to a party. He unequivocally wants a small intimate party without a big fuss made over him. After a lot of discussion, the family decided to make a big kiddush in the synagogue and a small party with Michael’s friends, a few close relatives and a handful of family friends at their home. Everyone was happy. does your child want to undertake a mitzvah project? How can you help him choose it without influencing his choice? Bat mitzvah girl Alexa loves animals and wanted to use her party as a venue to help dogs and cats find new homes. When she excitedly told her parents the idea, they were horrified; how could they have cages of animals at their lavish affair? They tried to convince Alexa to take on a more conventional project and she conceded but her parents noticed that she was dispassionate. After mulling it over (and feeling guilty about pushing their ideas on her), her parents decided to embrace her passion. They arranged with the ASPCA to bring animals at the end of the party and many were adopted on the spot. Alexa was thrilled. And guess what she got for her bat mitzvah? Yep, another dog from the shelter!

does your child want to make a grand entrance? Some kids want to be the center of attention and that’s fine. After all, it is their day. But others would rather shrink into the corner. Don’t make one of these shy kids get carried in by the dancers to the booming tune of “Celebrate!” Perhaps you can enter as a family so the focus isn’t just on the child, or better yet, skip the introduction all together. Everyone knows why you’re there. Let your child dictate this part of the party or they could be miserable the whole time. do you want to play motown and Beatles tunes so the grandparents and older family members will dance? does your little angel want rap music and tunes with lyrics that would make your mother-in-law blush? Most DJs will help you find a common ground, playing the most “danceable” and “PG” versions of current hits for the youngsters, interspersed with a set or two of some oldies but goodies for everyone else, perhaps while the kids are eating or playing games or doing karaoke in another room. Everyone wins. Remember, with any of these issues, communication with your child is key and an explanation of your motives will hopefully help any child understand your choices. should your child give a speech? What should they say? Some people are natural public speakers and others are not. Knowing who your child is, is important for them and you. Let them choose the subject matter, length and maybe even style. Paul had a stutter that was usually controllable but he was scared to make a speech and afraid that if he stuttered he would be the butt of jokes at school the next day. However, he also had a gift and was a talented musician and songwriter. The solution: instead of a speech, he wrote and performed a song. He got a standing ovation and was the (positive) talk of the school. should you have a candle lighting ceremony and if so, who should light a candle? There are usually fourteen candles so there’s lots of room for everyone to have some input. If your child feels strongly for or against someone, try to understand his reasoning and if possible strike a balance. If all else fails, do away with the whole ceremony and find another way to honor those important to you and your child. It may be your money and you do have the final word, but at the end of the day a bar/bat mitzvah is a celebration of life and it is your child’s life, so make sure that the party is a celebration of him. Be sure to incorporate his personality, interests and dreams so it becomes a memory that he will cherish. And, if you create the party together, it will be a bonding experience that you both treasure. Remember, going through puberty, having acne, unpredictable voice changes and growth spurts is stressful enough…. Leora Lambert is the mother of four young children who already have too many opinions of their own. She is writing her first novel. Mitzvah Spring 2011

WhosParty.indd 39

3/28/11 5:29 PM

hot list

So What’S NeW? While Some Joyous traditions (Like the hora) Will Never Go away, every Year Brings New Party trends to Consider as Well. By lori s. roBinson

While everyone wants to be unique and put their own stamp on their party, there are new trends that pop up every year that seem to take the bar/bat mitzvah circuit by storm. Here are a few of the hottest things that you’ll find out there...but remember: most vendors will work with you so your party isn’t just like everyone else’s. Be creative; be innovative, and soon you’ll be setting the trends! Trend AlerT: Kids Performing Today’s bar/bat mitzvahs are “Rocking the Reception” in a totally new interactive way. Like the TLC show in which wedding guests are surprised by a professionally choreographed dance performed by the wedding party, teens have been surprising their reception guests in a variety of ways. “It’s about showcasing the bar/ bat mitzvah’s unique personality and talents,” says Evan Karfinkel, president of EK Productions, www.

HOTLIST.indd 40

Rockmitzvah ekproductions.com. His interactive DJ entertainment and event management firm has been seeing an increase in creative grand entrance requests. “Our EK dancers might do a number on a platform, ending with open umbrellas in a freeze frame. They move to reveal the bat mitzvah, who moves forward and

Mitzvah Spring 2011

3/28/11 4:59 PM

is joined by her best friends in a dance number we choreographed just for her,” explains Karfinkel. “Or, we can throw a EK Productions funny video starring the bar mitzvah and his family on our plasma screens. The bar mitzvah can burst through a banner into the room, perhaps holding the trophy he won in the video.” Another company, Rockmitzvah, www.rockmitzvah.com, brings the bar/ bat mitzvah performance concept to another level. This live band specializes in jamming with teen musicians, perfect for your budding Eric Clapton or Ringo Star. The bar or bat mitzvah child can play from two to seven prerehearsed songs on their instrument with the band. How’s that for star power! According to group member Jim Weingast, “We do all the traditional things DJs and MCs do, but we engage kids creatively with music.” Trend AlerT: KineTic lighTing And décor

vidual themes. “Of course, eclectic and lounge seating is still popular.” He also sees “adult” table centerpieces becoming less floral and more sculptural, with the use of foam core, candles and other objects. Trend AlerT: creATive Use of video Entrance videos are not the only creative use of video these days. Candlelighting ceremony videos are quickly gaining in popularity. Each person coming up to light a candle is honored on screen with anything from a photo and accompanying poem to an entire mini-montage all about them and their relationship to the bar/bat mitzvah child. Making an appearance on the scene are video invitations. “We prepared an invitation that was an ‘Entourage’ spoof. We sent it out on DVD, and put together an accompanying RSVP website,” says Tardi, of MME Entertainment. “We’re also able to download a video invite onto a flash drive and send that out.” The latest incarnation of a photo booth is the video booth. “MME offers a social media booth. Kids can download what we shoot directly into their cell phones or onto Facebook.” How’s that for an instant status update. Trend AlerT: sporTsweAr fAvors

Once the sole purview of stage design and nightclubs, “lighting is the new design tool to set the vibe” at bar and bat mitzvah parties, according to Mike Tardi of MME Entertainment, www.mmeentertainment.com, a fullservice event company. “With LED perimeter room lighting, you can walk into a purple room, and then change it to pink.” He sees people lighting their tables, walls and DJ set-ups. Another emerging trend, according to Tardi, are the use of tables in differing shapes, heights and indi-

Imprinted sportswear continues to be the favored “give-away.” According to Donald Kramer of Trans-Trade Promotions (203449-9512), a bar/bat mitzvah specialist, poor logo designs are a one way ticket to the bottom of the closet, so artwork is more important than ever. “Adding an additional color or imprint location, a distressed look, embroidery, or nailheads to a logo is an inexpensive way to really make people notice what you have done and really enjoy wearing what they have taken home.”

MME Entertainment For sports-themed events, he tells MITZVAH that actual jerseys are now within the reach of most budgets. “We create a one of a kind product right down to a custom label on the garment,” says Kramer. “You’ll be astonished by what you can get within budget – baseball, football, basketball, hockey and soccer jerseys.” Reversible lacrosse pinnies are the latest sports jersey getting a great deal of interest. These reversibles are available in contrasting colors with logos on the inside and outside for an added pop to the product. Hooded sweats are still king when it comes to the bar/bat mitzvah crowd. For 2011-2012, new colors like charcoal grey, denim blue, and cardinal red are replacing the traditional black, navy, or gray, says Kramer. And for girls, V–neck, logo T-shirts are hot for under $10.

Trans-Trade Promotions

Mitzvah Spring 2011

HOTLIST.indd 41

3/28/11 4:59 PM

a new approach

GoING GREEN

PlAnEt-SAvIng tIPS fOR An ECO-fRIEndlY BAR/BAt MItzvAH PARtY. By Bethany Kandel

Everyone is going green these days in order to try to leave as small an environmental footprint as possible. So now’s the perfect time to consider ways to make your child’s bar or bat mitzvah a little more eco-friendly. You can move beyond the usual decadence and conspicuous consumption often associated with such events and still celebrate in style by following the 3Rs—reduce, reuse and recycle. Plus, it’s a great example to set for the younger generation. And remember, green is the new black! Here are some practical ways to keep the planet healthy: LOCATION Set the tone of your green party by choosing an eco-friendly location. If an outdoor party is possible, take

advantage of the beauty of nature by holding it at a botanic garden or park. Or choose a local venue within walking distance of your synagogue so you won’t contribute any extra pollution caused by idling buses or taxis to transport everyone from place to place. FOOD Remember to embrace the mantra: local, seasonal and organic. Any food locally grown or produced takes less fuel to transport. Serve smaller bitesize food as appetizers and offer a buffet for the kids, and there will be less overall waste. Consider going vegetarian or serving dairy; a lot of energy is used and waste generated by serving large quantities of animal products. Ask for certified organic, earth-friendly wines (organicvintners.com). And when it’s all over, donate any leftover food to those in need by contacting

Mitzvah Spring 2011

GoingGreen_MITZ0411.indd 42

3/29/11 5:07 PM

cityharvest.org or speak to Brian Stern at 917-351-8745 beforehand. PHOTOGRAPHY Go digital. Since most photographers these days shoot with digital cameras, this is an easy one. Going digital minimizes the use of toxic chemicals, rolls of film and extra paper. Another plus is that you get to choose exactly what images you want printed and you won’t have piles of pics to throw out (you know the ones with people’s heads cut off or Grandma Goldie caught with her mouth taking a huge bite of brisket). Ask your photographer if he or she will give you the digital images on a disc so you can print out only what you want. INVITATIONS Use recycled paper for your invitations when possible or consider using plantable cards embedded with wild-

You can move beyond conspicuous consumption often associated with such events and still celebrate in style by following the 3Rs —reduce, reuse and recycle. flower seeds (botanicalpaperworks. com). Or scrap the paper totally and send out earth-friendly evites. Try paperlesspost.com, an online stationer that creates elegant, custom, paperless evites complete with engraved-looking type, calligraphy and numerous card stock options. If you don’t think Emily Post would approve, at least ditch the save-the-date and response cards and envelopes and create an email address or website where people can RSVP electronically. By being less traditional, you’ll not only save a few trees, but some money on stamps. For the rare relatives who haven’t entered the

21st century and don’t do email, make a friendly call to see whether they’re coming if they haven’t already called first. If you create a dedicated website for your party, you can also save on paper by including directions, hotel information and any other information you once might have printed out. (Go to mitzvahs.myevent.com where you’ll find templates to build and design your own temporary site.) PAPER GOODS Instead of the usual plastic, paper, or Styrofoam disposable stuff, check out vendors selling eco-friendly plates, cups, utensils, napkins and more made from recycled, re-usable, biodegradable, sustainable, or organic products. Check out: greenpartygoods.com and thegreenoffice.com. Or think about renting good china, wine glasses and more. CENTERPIECES The main philosophy of going green is curbing consumption and reducing waste so whenever you can forgo something unnecessary, do it. Forget the lavish cardboard recreations of the Chrysler Building or intricate wire sculptured tennis rackets to decorate your tables and opt for a grouping of small, potted plants which double as favors. They last longer than cut flowers and people actually want to take them home. If you use fresh flowers, opt for local and seasonal flowers instead of burning up fuel to transport them from faraway farms. At party’s end, donate them to the non-profit Flower Power Foundation (flowerpowerfoundation.org), which will deliver them to

sick, elderly and terminally ill residents in your community. If you choose to do elaborate centerpieces, at least create ones with a second life. For example, if you do something with sports equipment, donate it to a school or homeless shelter or make something creative with books that can go to local libraries. No one really wants to schlep home a sixfoot piece of cardboard no matter how cool and creative it looks on the table. However, if you do choose to go this route, try to find a friend holding an event shortly after yours -- or a school that has an upcoming auction that can reuse them. Alternatively, try to sell or give them away on craigslist.com. Better yet, purchase yours that way in the first place to create less waste, and keep passing them along. FAVORS Instead of favors, which are usually pretty to look at, but usually useless dust-collectors, let your guests know that in lieu of a giveaway, you have made a donation to your favorite environmental cause. Or consider giving out fair trade chocolate bars and supporting cocoa farmer cooperatives (divinechocolateusa.com). HOTEL GIFTS Many hosts and hostesses like to leave a goodie bag in their guests’ hotel rooms. When doing this, try to think outside the (disposable) bag or other packaging that ends up in the trash. Why not use reusable grocery bags to store the goodies. Fill the bags with healthy snacks and a reusable water bottle so there will be less waste left behind.

Resources GReen baR mitzvah tips: greenbarmitzvahs.com Green celebrations (downloadable guide): jufj.org/green_just_celebrations invitations: botanicalpaperworks.com, paperlesspost.com YaRmulkes: a-zara.com papeR Goods: greenpartygoods.com, thegreenoffice.com oRGanic wine: organicvintners.com FloweR donations: flowerpowerfoundation.org Food donations: cityharvest.org, 917-351-8745 (Brian Stern) FaiR tRade chocolate: divinechocolateusa.com cReate YouR own website: mitzvahs.myevent.com

Mitzvah Spring 2011

GoingGreen_MITZ0411.indd 43

3/28/11 2:48 PM

our free e-newsletters

Great Tips on...

Parenting, Shopping, Activities and more! Delivered right to your inbox. Visit newyorkfamily.com to learn more about the best parenting e-newsletter in the city.

Partials_Mitz0311.indd 10

3/30/11 11:01 AM

The Guide BAR/BAT MiTzvAh plAnning

MitzvahMarket.com 516-445-2394 Sheri@MitzvahMarket.com

MitzvahMarket.com is a free online resource for Bar/ Bat Mitzvah planning families which delivers clever, useful and entertaining ideas via a twice weekly e-newsletter called Mitzvah Market Mail. All the site’s elements are designed to inspire families to make these ideas their own. The team behind MitzvahMarket.com are professional working Moms who have all been through planning their own children’s Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. They are not party planners, but instead pass along Momto-Mom advice to try and make planning your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah more fun and less stressful.

EDUCATiOn 92Y

Rabbi Kalb 212.415.5767, DKalb@92Y.org, or visit www.92Y.org/Connect

Our Bar/Bat Mitzvah Program, a new and modern approach to classic training, combines the highest quality

religious instruction with independent thought and creativity to fully engage young adults in this very important experience. Whether planning a ceremony at home or abroad, students can use all the resources of 92Y to create a traditional ceremony or a ceremony that incorporates innovative elements, such as a play, music or dance. With 92Y’s expertise in Judaism, our diverse educational and creative resources, and our commitment to inclusion and openness, the Connect Bar/ Bat Mitzvah program prepares young adults for a lifetime of meaningful involvement in Jewish life and community.

EvEnT plAnnERS AMY KATZ EVENTS 212-535-8859/516-578-4362 www.amykatzevents.com

Amy Katz Events/ALR Consulting, LLC is a full service Event Planning Company specializing in Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. There are three flexible plans from which to choose, that will meet each clients needs. Amy is dedicated to providing superior service and exciting ideas with grace and style. Her original imagination, meticulous attention to detail, and superior organizational skills define her as one of the most requested event coordinators. You will never be left alone. Amy is with you every step of the way to ensure flawless execution. Every detail and need will be met so that you can cherish each and every mo-

ment. Amy takes the stress out of your planning so that you can enjoy your party.

so you can relax and celebrate!

EMRG Media

Jewish National Fund

60 Sutton Place South, Suite 8LS New York, NY 10022 1-800-474-2450 www.EmrgMedia.com/Mitzvah

Your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Make it a celebration for all time with EMRG Media is New York’s leading full service event planning firm with a division dedicated to Bar and Bat Mitzvah planning. Our attention to detail, hands on approach and individualized event development separates us from the rest. EMRG Media has consistently received accolades and extensive press recognition from USA Today, The New York Times, CNN, NBC, and numerous spots on MTV. If you’re planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, EMRG Media can assist you in all aspects. EMRG Media brings the very best venues, decor, music and entertainment to all of their clients. EMRG Media guarantees that your child’s event will be one to remember. EMRG Media works with over 100 top venues & services including: Top Event Spaces, Hotels, Night clubs, Restaurants, Lofts, Entertainment Companies, Florists and more. If you are planning a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in New York City or any other occasion, contact us at info@emrgmedia.com or call us at 1.800.474.2450. Let us handle the details –

INVITATIONS High Quality Customized JNF Tree And Water Invitations & Certificates For Your Simcha

Purchase unique and exquisite JNF invitations, designed by Encore Studios, or JNF certificates. Each invitation or certificate represents a tree that has been planted in Israel or a donation to water resource development in Israel in honor of your guests. Purchase more than 100 invitations or certificates and receive our special gift, a beautiful wood framed Garden Certificate, representing a garden of trees planted by JNF in honor of your simcha. For more information or to place an order, call 1-800-7001312. A portion of your purchase is tax-deductible.

lighTing Levy Lighting - NYC

For two decades Ira Levy has been in the gratifying position of being able to express his love for light. Ira fuses a unique architectural imagination with theatrical inventiveness and

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Writeups-0411MITZ.indd 45

3/28/11 5:56 PM

Advertising Special Section

technical proficiency to produce some of the most memorable events in NYC and abroad. Each client receives detailed and personal attention from the conception to the completion of their event. Levy Lighting NYC, a leader in innovative event and architectural lighting, presents iSHADOW. iShadow is an interactive system with integrated video-projectors that casts a variety of surface content to excite and entertain. The system detects the motion of objects on the surface and dynamically interacts with each movement. Objects can be illuminated at their position or virtual objects can be touched. The iSHADOW system is customizable to suit any event, venue or branding need. Projections can be applied to a variety of surfaces including floors, walls, and tabletops for any event space! Visit ishadowinteractive. com to view the system or call us today for an appointment at our lighting laboratory 212.925.4640.

will love his personality passion and professionalism. From breath-taking music video slideshows on your iPad and HDTV, to museum-quality float-mounted prints on aluminum, to master-crafted heirloom albums and contemporary books, Michael will open your eyes to the possibilities of where your precious images could live for the family in today’s digital age. Michael’s background in digital design and as producer for the Academy Awards ensure your Mitzvah story is beautifully told in multiple formats with the highest quality and service.

photos@jurick.net 917-544-1871 http://jurick.net

Award-winning photographer, Michael Jurick has earned a reputation of capturing truly exceptional images for the discerning family. His use of creative lighting enhances the storytelling importance of the Mitzvah right of passage. From your first meeting with Michael - through to the Mitzvah event and beyond, you

Milk & Honey Productions

New York, NY (212) 725-0014 www.milkandhoneyproductions.com

Sarah Merians

419 Park Avenue South Suite 1302 New York, NY 10016 212-633-0502 sarahmerians.com

PHOTOgrAPHY/FILMMAKErS

Michael Jurick

share with each family. Just as our clients dedicate their lives and time to their faith and devotion, we dedicate ourselves to capturing life at its best!

Sarah Merians Photography & Video Company preserves the most important moments in our customers’ lives. We are the premier studio in the New York and Tristate area – the photographer of choice for our customers’ personal and professional events. Because every customer is unique, we offer a portfolio of services ranging from traditional artistry to cutting edge innovation. We provide unparalleled quality and creativity with an exceptionally high level of service that helps us nurture lifelong relationships with our customers. We are honored to be invited to a family Mitzvah and to capture this precious time and

Milk & Honey Productions introduces a sensitive blend of artistry and experience to event films. Known as NY’s premiere videography company in the wedding industry, they have introduced their innovative approach to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. With experience in documentary filmmaking and television production, their filmmakers capture the day unobtrusively and deliver a film which is truly reflective of this important day. Also recognized for their dazzling montages, wallpapers and tribute films, it is the place to go when you want to make your child’s event a hit and to ensure this milestone is captured with dignity and warmth.

Spot On Pictures

275 greenwich Street #5J NYC 10007 Service Area: New York, New Jersey, Connecticut Contact Name: Wanda Weber Phone: 212-979-9667 Email: wanda@spotonpictures.com We’re THE media montage experts in the industry –we specialize in high end montages, personal documentaries and live event coverage.

Our head of production, gemma Tummolo has a background as a union film editor and has cut movie trailers, network commercials and PBS Documentaries. Due to her expertise, your montage will have a very high production value and will be produced and edited by one of the very best in the business. Our work speaks for itself. Visit our MUST SEE video and montage gallery at www.spotonpictures.com TODAY! ..or call us at 212-979-9667.

VENUES 300 New York

In the Chelsea Piers Sports & Entertainment Complex 300newyork.com • 212.835.2695, ext 216 Dancing the Horah, lighting the candles – no matter the tra-

dition, it’s always more fun at 300 New York. With 40 bowling lanes, fun and affordable packages, what’s not to like? Our onsite event planners will help you select the right space, guide you through the extensive 300 catering menu and oversee the execution of your event. And no need to sweat the details because our professional wait staff is on hand through the last frame bowled. To learn more, check us out at 300newyork.com.

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Writeups-0411MITZ.indd 46

3/29/11 1:34 PM

Chelsea Piers Sports & Entertainment Complex

23rd Street & the Hudson River NYC 10011 Sports Themed Events: 212.336.6777 Sky Rink’s Sunset Terrace: 212.336.6777 Pier Sixty and The Lighthouse: 212.336.6144 www.chelseapiers.com/specialevents

tomize your event by picking your favorite sports and games. Spacious mezzanines can accommodate up to 200 guests. From elegant receptions to high-energy casual fun, Chelsea Piers is the perfect choice for hosting your child’s milestone celebration. To reserve your date for sports parties at the Field House and receptions at Sky Rink’s Sunset Terrace, please call 212.336.6777. For Pier Sixty or The Lighthouse, call 212.336.6144.

Dave & Buster’s

Manhattan’s year-round playground for children and adults is also one of New York’s most popular locations for Bar and Bat Mitzvahs. Whether you are looking for a formal sitdown dinner, a casual reception with dancing, or activities for family and friends, Chelsea Piers is the ideal location for your son or daughter’s special day. For formal receptions, Chelsea Piers offers three dedicated event spaces with panoramic Hudson River views: Sunset Terrace at Sky Rink (50 to 200 guests), the Lighthouse (100 to 800 guests) and Pier Sixty (200 to 2,000 guests). The Lighthouse and Pier Sixty feature fine food and catering services by Abigail Kirsch Culinary Productions. Sunset Terrace works with three preferred caterers, including Abigail Kirsch. For sports-themed Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebrations, we recommend the Field House at Chelsea Piers, an 80,000-square-foot mega-gym with facilities for soccer, basketball, volleyball, batting, rock climbing, gymnastics and other action-packed activities. Cus-

www.daveandbusters.com/ specialevents Contact any of our area locations to set up your Bar or Bat Mitzvah today! Times Square: 646-4952015 Palisades Mall: 845-3531555 Westbury: 516-542-8501 Farmingdale: 631-249-0708 Islandia: 631-582-6615

is nothing left but fun. How large is your group? Dave & Buster’s is available to rent exclusively! Let your guests loose to enjoy over 31,000+ square feet of fun and you’ll be the host of the century. Guests can mix and mingle in the Grand Dining Room, mingle by the bar and have full reign of our Million Dollar Midway, with hundreds of interactive video games and simulators.

Deb’s Family Disco

At Club Touch, & LQ Midtown Manhattan 212-586-7425, or traveling entertainment at your venue www.familydisco.com

The EDISON BALLROOM

240 West 47th Street New York, NY 10036 212-201-7650 www.edisonballroom.com The Edison Ballroom has a long and colorful history. Located in the heart of Times Square, it was origi-

Family Disco has been the Chosen One over and over again for their “best” parties (New York Magazine’s “BEST

Invite the people. We’ll do the rest. Throwing a party is all about making memories that

last a lifetime. Whether you’re planning for friends, family or both, we have what you need to please everyone on your list! Turn an ordinary event into an extraordinary event. With private rooms, organized activities, great buffets and drink options, Dave & Buster’s has something for you and all of your guests! Our team of expert event planners will help you craft a party that will have people talking for years. We can put it all together for you, so there

your own party web page creation. But what we really do better than anyone else is get people up and dancing and having a good time. That’s our ‘art’ and the single most impor-tant factor ensuring your party’s success. Family-owned business guarantees you personal attention by owner.

OF” four years running). Club, catering and entertainment— we’re one-stop shopping! Traveling to your hall or entertaining at our venue—a magnificent discotheque that can host hundreds handsomely, or be curtained off so that smaller fetes find their perfect fit. Gourmet catering with creative choices (like our crepe chef who flips crepes fresh before your eyes, or the wok wiz who mesmerizes with his fast flying knives). Deejay, emcees and dancers that hit real cool right, never schmaltzy, never phony. Family Disco offers top-quality in a range of services—personalized invitations, customized party favors, theatrical set design, specialty lighting effects, photography, videography and

nally opened in the 30’s as the grand ballroom for the Hotel Edison. It was constructed in a classic “art deco” design, and offered dining and dancing to its patrons, while featuring many famous bands and singers from the “Swing Era.” A generation later, the Edison Ballroom was converted to the Edison Theater, where various Broadway theatrical productions were offered. In 1991 the Edison Theater gave way to “The Supper Club”, which offered its patrons dinner and dancing to the music of various “big-band” style orchestras, and which hosted various private, corporate and charitable events. The Supper Club hosted its final event in May, 2007. In May, 2008, following more than $5 Million in renovations, the venue was reopened by its new management and was renamed “Edison BallMitzvah Spring 2011

Writeups-0411MITZ.indd 47

3/29/11 1:35 PM

Advertising Special Section room” to conjure up some of the former glory of this venue. With its exquisite art deco style, blended with a touch of modern design, this 17,000 square foot venue is perfect for hosting a wide array of private functions, including weddings, bar and bat mitzvahs, charity events, and corporate parties. It has an extra large dance floor, a 40-foot stage, it contains two separate kitchens, and is equipped with the most modern lighting and audio/visual features in the industry, including an 18 foot screen, and 14 high-definition plasma monitors. Edison Ballroom easily seats 500 guests, and can host up to 1,000 attendees for standing receptions. Its mezzanine level is perfect for hosting cocktail receptions prior to seating guests for dinner on the main floor. The venue also includes a VIP lounge, perfect for entertaining bridal parties, dignitaries, or for use as a photo shoot area during or after your special event. This elegant, gracious space, in an ideal location is the perfect setting for your private function. The Edison Ballroom’s team of professionals will work with you to make your affair a truly memorable occasion. For reservations or information call (212) 201-7650 or email info@ edisonballroom.com.

Hard Rock Cafe Times Square 1501 Broadway New York, NY 10036 212-343-3355 x-1289 www.hardrock.com

Events That Rock! Sophistication infused with funk, the Hard Rock Cafe Times Square offers stellar service and modern elegance. Come experience the cuisine, music and distinctive design. Day or night there is something to fit every mood and satisfy every impulse. Whether it is an inti-

mate gathering of 20 or a full venue buyout of 1,200 guests... let’s make it an event everyone will be talking about. Events, like great music, are borne of inspiration. Our new banquet chef has over 15 years experience, has catered backstage affairs for the likes of Ozzy Osbourne and Bon Jovi and has delighted the guests of some of the biggest Fortune 500 companies with his imaginative event menus, both traditional and kosher style. We serve it up with a dramatic flair, only reserved for rock royalty.

Love All. Serve All. That’s the mantra of Hard Rock and its team. Consumed with treating guests like rock stars, the ultimate VIPs, Hard Rock has an entourage of staff determined to spoil them rotten. From the moment your guests arrive to the second the last limousine leaves, our staff will be on hand to anticipate and fill every need.

Oheka Castle Hotel & Estate

135 West Gate Drive Huntington, NY 11743 631-659-1360 www.oheka.com Whether you are looking to celebrate a Wedding, Bar/ Bat Mitzvah, or an Anniversary, OHEKA is the perfect backdrop to host your special occasion. Otto Hermann Kahn originally built this grand estate in 1919, which became and still remains the 2nd largest private resi-

dence in America, to accommodate his love of hosting lavish parties for his friends and family. Today, OHEKA is a premier events venue which offers guests the opportunity to enjoy the estate as they did during the glamorous and decadent roaring twenties. Exclusive and unforgettable, from the historic estate and formal gardens to the elegant rooms, world class service, European ambience, and award winning cuisine all designed to delight you and your guests from the moment they enter the gates of OHEKA CASTLE. And as a member of Small Luxury Hotels of the World, guests can sleep like royalty in one of OHEKA’s 32 luxuriously appointed guest rooms and suites situated on the upper floors of the estate. OHEKA is artfully situated on Long Island’s famed Gold Coast between New York City and The Hamptons. www. oheka.com

PATINA RESTAURANT GROUP

http://www.patinagroup.com 212.789.8100 Patina Restaurant Group operates some of the most exciting restaurants and special event spaces in New York, if not the world. From the legendary Brasserie in the Seagram Building to Café Centro, La Fonda del Sol and Vanderbilt Suites in the MetLife Building along with Brasserie 8 1/2 in the famous “bell-bottom” building on 9 West 57th Street to Rock Center Café in Rockefeller Center - our restaurants and special

event spaces offer the finest in artisanal culinary inspirations. Choose from French, Italian, Spanish, American and Asian influenced menus of exceptional quality, paired with our extensive wine cellars, expert mixologists, and the unmatched professional service that we are famous for. We operate approximately 60 restaurants from coast to coast with a concentration in New York, California, Florida and Nevada (for a complete roster, please visit www.patinagroup.com). With a storied legacy that leads back over 40 years, Patina Restaurant Group has evolved into a leader in the premium segment of the restaurant industry and catered special events category. Whether you’re planning a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or wedding celebration, we offer an unmatched level of sophistication and culinary artistry that

raises the bar on the dreams you’ve always wanted to see come true.

Make Meaning

329 Columbus Ave. (btwn 75th and 76th) New York, NY 10023 212-362-0350 www.makemeaning.com Make Meaning has just opened an exciting new venue in NYC that is perfect for hosting an out of the box Bat Mitzvah or Sweet 16. Located on Columbus Avenue in the heart of the Upper West Side, Make

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Writeups-0411MITZ.indd 48

3/28/11 5:57 PM

and memorable like candles, soap, jewelry, ceramics, glassware and paper crafts. We offer many options in format and catering, including kosher. Contact our Director of Events, Tracy Chenoff, at 212-213-4265 or tracy@makemeaning.com to set up a site tour.

Slate Meaning has over 6000 square feet of upscale entertaining space, serving up never before seen creative experiences, private party rooms and an energetic staff. Book the entire three-level space for up to 200 guests or book one of our private party rooms for a more intimate celebration. Make Meaning is a Creativity Event Destination where you and your guests will celebrate while creating something fun

54 W. 21st St. 212-989-0096 www.slate-ny.com Book it at Slate. The premier New York City venue where every event gets the “red carpet treatment” and unparalleled attention to detail. From Birthday Parties, Bar & Bat Mitzvahs, Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties, Celebrity and VIP Events to Corporate Events, Fundraisers, Galas, Private Functions, Holiday Parties and more, we’ve got you covered.

Go ahead, save the date. We’ll book it at Slate.

Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island New York, NY 10004 t. 212.344.0996 www.thestatueofliberty.com

The entrance point to the new world and a new life, Ellis Island is the perfect place to host your mitzvah. You can truly feel the history envelop you as your guests wine and dine at one of the most culturally significant monuments in America. There is no better place to host a mitzvah than at Ellis Island, which brought visitors from throughout the world to join together in their new lives. Let history be your guide as you present your guests with a once in a lifetime opportunity to experience the richness and lore of an Ellis Island Event. Ellis Island and the staff

of Evelyn Hill, Inc. are eager to bring you an unforgettable night on Ellis Island. We offer various floor plans and packages that will suit even the most extraordinary visions. Even though we can accommodate 1000 guests, Ellis Island will entertain the smallest of parties as well. A night to remember for you your guests, Ellis Island offers the one event no one will ever forget. Be the talk of the town when you host an incredible special event on Ellis Island.

the montage & Video experts

Please visit us at

www.sPotonPictures.com

to view our must see montage gallery. call today and get a 10% discount if you mention mitzvah magazine

212-979-9667

we’ll make your montage... cutting edge, innovative and Fun!!!

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Writeups-0411MITZ.indd 49

3/28/11 5:57 PM

checklist number on the back of the response cards and keep a crossreference list. This helps avoid confusion if a response card arrives with no name on it. Order thank you cards early. If presents arrive before the big event, have your child write those thank-yous immediately.

3Bar/Bat Mitzvah Day

For guests under 5, provide loot bags filled with coloring books, crayons, dinosaur figures and other small toys. Parents will appreciate that you thought to keep their kids occupied so they can all enjoy the party. Bring a large tote bag to safely hold all the envelopes and small packages your child will receive. (Your husband’s suit pocket is not large enough to hold them all!) Bring an extra set of any lists you need – family member and friends who will be participating in candle lighting; table seatings, vendor contact numbers -- in case of emergency. Bring a list of who’s invited and check off anyone who didn’t , re o f show up. Some restaurants e Wb o n won’t charge you for last minay ok d t g i d ute no-shows, so keep track. ee eb n h t u Give your photographer a t yo d after a h list of people or groups you W n a g want to be sure to get phoin dur tos of during the party so they don’t miss anyone important like grandma, a favorite cousin, or your child’s best friend. If you haven’t hired a videographer, bring your own video camera and assign a friend or two to capture some highlights.

T A B / r BA zvAH : T I M CklIST e H C

3Before the big day:

Maintain a notebook where you write down every contact person, phone number, price quote, and idea. Otherwise, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you’ll forget who told you what. Ask the party venue whether there are any additional charges so there are no surprises. Some restaurants charge you extra to feed the DJ, photographer, and their staff, and it’s better to negotiate a price beforehand. Send confirmation letters outlining all details of services to be provided, cost, date, and times of arrival and departure so there are no misunderstandings. Before sending out invitations, discreetly pencil in a

3After the event:

If you don’t have plans to host people at your house afterwards, let your child invite a best friend to sleep over so there’s no letdown feeling once the party’s over. Have a Sunday morning brunch for out-of-town friends and relatives to continue the celebration. You’ll be more relaxed, in comfortable clothes, and able to talk to those people you missed connecting with at the event. Create a master list of all the people you hired and the prices they charged. This is helpful to give to friends who want recommendations and it will be a great reference if you have another child whose bar/bat mitzvah will follow. (You may also be able to bargain with the DJ for a cheaper rate if you use him again in a couple of years.)

Mitzvah Spring 2011

Checklist_0411MITZ.indd 50

3/28/11 5:30 PM

HardRock_MITZ_0311.indd 1

3/28/11 4:32 PM