Embracing Relational Teaching

Copyright © 2023 by Solution Tree Press

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Reibel, Anthony R., author.

Title: Embracing relational teaching : how strong relationships promote student self-regulation and efficacy / Anthony R. Reibel.

Description: Bloomington, IN : Solution Tree Press, [2022] | Includes bibliographical references and index.

Identifiers: LCCN 2022013931 (print) | LCCN 2022013932 (ebook) | ISBN 9781949539912 (paperback) | ISBN 9781949539929 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Teaching--Methodology. | Teacher-student relationships--United States. | Student-centered learning--United States. | Effective teaching--United States. | Reflective teaching--United States.

Classification: LCC LB1025.3 .R4436 2022 (print) | LCC LB1025.3 (ebook) | DDC 371.102--dc23/eng/20220810

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Solution Tree

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Solution Tree Press

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Acknowledgments

To my wife and two boys: Without your inspiration, patience, and grace, this book would not be possible. You three are everything to me.

To my friend, Juice: Thank you for helping me distinguish between working hard and just “jackin’ around.”

To my editors: Thank you for your feedback and support, which always make my writing better.

To my fellow educators: I invite you to stop striving toward someone else’s version of successful teaching. Teach your students with your voice, your feelings, your sweat, and your care. Don’t teach soulless lessons. Insert nuance into your classroom and give your students space to let their personalities show through.

Finally, this book is dedicated to students whose voices are not heard, whose thinking is dismissed, and whose identities are ignored. May there be a change in our schools that places your well-being at the center of teaching, valuing your humanity above anything else and giving you the freedom to become the people you want to be.

As always, thank you to Solution Tree for their continued support of my ideas.

Solution Tree Press would like to thank the following reviewers:

Courtney Burdick

Apprenticeship Mentor Teacher

Fort Smith Public Schools Fort Smith, Arkansas

Doug Crowley Assistant Principal

DeForest Area High School

DeForest, Wisconsin

John D. Ewald Education Consultant

Former Superintendent, Principal, and Teacher Frederick, Maryland

Dana Johansen

Middle School Teacher Greenwich Academy Greenwich, Connecticut

Jennifer

Renegar

Data and Assessment Specialist

Republic School District Republic, Missouri

Darcy Tweedy Educator

Cordova Elementary School Phoenix, Arizona

Dawn Vang

Reading Specialist

White Oaks Elementary School Virginia Beach, Virginia

Table of Contents

Reproducibles are in italics.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR xi

PREFACE

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xiii

DOING THE INVISIBLE WORK

1

Schools Can Do Better for Society 2 A Relational Approach to Teaching and Learning 3 Make Teaching More Than a Mechanical-Transactional Experience 4 Shift the Responsibility for Learning to Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Respect Students’ Life Experiences 5 Have Better Metrics for Learning 6 Pay Attention to Unspoken School-Culture Messages . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Make Student Agency and Efficacy a Goal of Education 7 Teach With Students 7 Outcomes of a Relational Approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7

About This Book 8 Conclusion 9 PART ON E

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Foundational Understandings of Relational Pedagogy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

Core Components of Relational Pedagogy 14

Show Students That You Care About Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Allow Students to Create Meaning for Themselves and Be the Subjects of Their Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

Uncover Students’ Stories 16

Foster a Sense of Belonging in Your Classroom 17

Generate Dialogue Between You and Students and Among Students . . . . . . . . . . . 18

Develop Relationship-Focused Assessment 18

Conclusion 19

THE RELATIONAL TEACHER

21

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Definition and Attributes of the Relational Teacher 21

Reflective 22 Collaborative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Involved 28 Modeler of Learning 31 Interpersonal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Adaptable 40 Humble 42 Conclusion 43 Muscles and Tussles Chart 45

Metacognition Journal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

Reflection Chart for Students Who Struggle 47 Long-Term Goals, Short-Term Goals, and Immediate Projects 48 Post-Assessment Student Reflection Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Lesson Quality Check 51 Lesson-Planning Tool 53 Growth-Focused Teacher Self-Assessment Tool ............................... 54 Content-Focused Versus Relationship-Focused Lesson 55 Teacher Checklist to Create Student-Can-Do Learning Experiences 56 Goals and Values Alignment Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

Define Standards Using the Dictionary Definition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64

Organize the Curricular Hierarchy Based on the Composition of Communication 69 Conclusion 75

RELATIONAL INSTRUCTION

77

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Definition of and Strategies for Implementing Relational Instruction 77

Encourage Learning Through Observation 79 Avoid Transactional Instructional Models 79

Offer Relentless Welcome and Deep Care 81 Be Student Centric . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

Embrace Learning Tensions 82 Guard Against Illusions of Learning 83 Include Student Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85

Respect Student Individuality and Autonomy 86 Promote More Dialogue 88 Encourage Reflection in the Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

Use Feedback Moments as Instruction 91 Teach With Life Situations 91 Let Students Do First Before You Teach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92

Conclusion 93

Student-Does-First Lesson-Planning Template 96

RELATIONAL ASSESSMENT

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

Definition and Attributes of Relational Assessment 99

Include Self-Appraisal 101

Seek Perspectives First, Not Answers 102

Include Intentional Reflective Pauses 105

Embrace Learning Profiles Instead of Outcomes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106

Find Context for Deficiencies 107

Promote Self-Regulation 108

Are Conversational and Stimulate Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

Are Co-Constructive 111

Have Negotiable Success Criteria 112

Promote Student Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113

Strategies to Create Relational Assessments 113

Move Beyond Recall 115

Capture Patterns in Student Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

Have Students Perform in a Variety of Contexts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Include Assessment Items That Help Students Examine Their Learning Decisions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

Include Assessment Items That Promote Instructional Change 121

Include Assessment Items That Stimulate Reflection 122

Potential Outcomes of Relational Assessments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

Accurate Competency Awareness 123 Self-Confidence 124

Help-Seeking Behaviors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124

Conclusion 125

How to Capture Student Outcomes and Thinking Through Assessment 126

Creating More Personalized Reflection Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

RELATIONAL FEEDBACK 129

Definition and Attributes of Relational Feedback 129

Non-Evaluative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130

Mentoring 131

Develops a Self-Enabling Inner Voice 132 Cultivates Responsibility 132

Conversational and Reciprocal 133 Plain-Spoken . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133 Prescriptive 135 Collaborative 136 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138

Conversational and Reciprocal Feedback 139 Creating Prescriptive Feedback 141

RELATIONAL RUBRICS

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143

Definition and Attributes of Relational Rubrics 143

Proficiency Focused 145 Reciprocal and Conversational . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146

Goal Oriented 147 Conclusion 147

RELATIONAL GRADING

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Definition of and Strategies for Implementing Relational Grading 149

Award Grades After Conversations With Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150

Ensure the Gradebook Tells the Student’s Learning Story 151 Consider Everything as an Event 157 Don’t Shift Expectations 158 Use Students’ Self-Appraisal Evidence for More Accurate Grades 159 Conclusion 160 Creating Gradebooks That Tell a Learning Story 161

EPILOGUE

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163

REFERENCES AND RESOURCES

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165

INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187

About the Author

Anthony R. Reibel is former assistant principal for teach ing and learning and the current director of research and evaluation at Adlai E. Stevenson High School in Illinois. He administers assessments, manages student achievement data, and oversees instruction, grading, and assessment practices. Anthony began his professional career as a technology specialist and entrepreneur. After a few years, he became a Spanish teacher at Stevenson, where he has also served as a curricular team leader, core team leader, coach, and club sponsor.

In 2010, Anthony was recognized by the state of Illinois as Outstanding New Educator; and in 2011, the Illinois Computing Educators named him Technology Educator of the Year. He is also the founder and editor of The Assessor magazine, an annual publication that showcases articles that teachers submit to discuss the realities of their practice.

Anthony earned a bachelor’s degree in Spanish from Indiana University and master’s degrees (one in curriculum and instruction and one in educational lead ership) from Roosevelt University. He is currently pursuing his doctoral degree in educational leadership at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

To learn more about Anthony’s work, visit www.assessormag.com or www .ebgschools.com, or follow him @areibel on Twitter.

To book Anthony R. Reibel for professional development, contact pd@ SolutionTree.com.

Preface

I’ve been thinking about this question lately: “Could I describe a hug if some one asked?” Could I describe its purpose? Its sensations? Could I articulate its associated emotions? Are hugs small moments or significant moments of affection? Do you need to physically embrace to feel hugged?

As I ponder these questions, many memories come to mind about when I was, or felt, hugged. One memory was in the early part of my teaching career. A fellow educator started to take an interest in my rapport with students. He was a talented and respected veteran teacher, known for his classroom culture of respect and rapport. We met often during our free periods to share how we tried to connect with students on a more personal level both inside and out side the classroom. During these exchanges, whenever I shared my ideas, his attention always remained intensely focused on me—as if he were examining the contours of every word I spoke. It felt as if he cast a spell on the world that stopped time, allowing us to have the space to deeply explore our ideas. When this teacher stopped time, he gave me the impression that I mattered, that what I shared was important to him. It was if he had fused his presence with mine in such a way that I could feel him listening to me.

What I experienced in these exchanges is something I wanted my students to experience—I wanted to stop time. I wanted to show them that I cared about them as people more than I cared about my lessons. I wanted to let them know that their viewpoints and life experiences were worthy of respect, and that their inner emotional experiences were important to explore.

So, I stopped time.

The idea of stopping time to connect with students appears in many books, including Ratchetdemic by Christopher Emdin (2021). In his book, Emdin states, “Children need validation from the adults in their lives to develop a sense of self-worth” (p. 28). I wholeheartedly agree. Children are yearning for people to stop time and notice them, hear them, love them, and validate their experiences. It is how they make sense of the world.

This book contains strategies and practices that can help you stop time in your classroom—to implement a more caring and relational pedagogy that can engender feelings of safety, connection, and worth in your students. These strategies might help you unlock the pedagogical potential of students’ words, actions, and moments of self-expression.

Finally, as you read this book, I hope you feel hugged—hugged for the work you do for students that often goes unseen, unacknowledged, and unappreciated.

DOING THE INVISIBLE WORK

Satisfactory personal relationships are a prerequisite for learning.

—DANIEL CHAMBLISS

Take a moment and picture yourself teaching. What comes to mind? Is it a favorite instructional activity, a student’s inspiring speech, or a moment when a student shared something insightful about their learning? Whatever it is, let those images and thoughts linger for a moment.

Now, I want you to visualize your teaching again; but this time, visualize the invisible teaching you do—the actions that no one can directly see, yet are as valuable to student learning as any observable practice. These invisible teaching practices might include your sincere curiosity about students’ lives, the sense of support you feel when you see a student struggling, an empathetic mindset you use to plan a lesson, or a facial expression you give to a student to show that they matter.

While those images surface, I will say this—much of our value as educa tors comes from invisible actions, the actions that no one can necessarily see but students can feel. These actions can sometimes be the difference between whether a student sees school as a rewarding place that respects their individ uality or a place that dismisses their identity—denying the full expression of their culture, values, and personality.

In her book The Poet X, author Elizabeth Acevedo (2018) writes about her school experience as a young girl. She reflects on the beginning of a school year when she meets her new teacher for the first time and says, “I have a feeling Ms. Galiano actually wants to know my answer” (p. 38). I believe this statement represents a feeling for many students—they want to be heard and respected for who they are, not for who their school wants them to be (Turner, 2012).

There seems to be a mindset in education that there is simply not enough time to get to know students. Perhaps this mindset is the result of a collective consciousness of the educational system that creates a type of pedagogical iner tia, reminding teachers year after year that content and testing matter more than students. For example, teachers must get through the required curriculum so students can do well on the district or state (or province) exams.

It is time to undo this mindset and create schooling that prioritizes humanity, a system in which educators nurture student well-being more than the unit plan and develop compassion alongside the curriculum. We need to augment the relational aspects of our policies and practices in schools—practices that help students learn how to accept themselves, maintain relationships, and selfsustain in the larger world.

Schools Can Do Better for Society

Since 2012, I have had the opportunity to work in school districts across the United States on pedagogy reform. On each trip, I meet talented and passion ate educators who care about their students and move mountains to help them to succeed. This fills my heart. However, at the same time, I hear frustrations from these same teachers like the following.

• “I can’t do [that student-focused practice] because my district has us giving assessments every two weeks, and I need to get students ready for them. Those scores go into my evaluation.”

• “[This practice] would be meaningful, but it takes too much time, and I have to get through all these state standards.”

• “The state says we have to teach all these standards, but there are too many to possibly get through in a year. So my school leadership has us pick the essential ones, but how do I know which are essential?”

•

“Students are kids, and kids don’t have the expertise that I do, so even though I want to get to know them better as people, they first

must learn the content. If we have time, then I’ll ask them what they think about [the learning]. Otherwise, the tests will have to tell me everything I need to know.”

When I hear these kinds of comments, I feel frustrated because it signals that stu dents “never genuinely engage in the development of self” (Bandura, 1977, p. 146).

Herein lies the problem. Students may find themselves in a school that know ingly, or unknowingly, communicates that achievement and knowledge are more important than them; almost as though they’re saying to their students, “We’ll care about you after we finish getting ready for the SAT.” Students can feel this, which can cause them to be confused about their teachers’ inten tions and their school’s sincerity (Coyle, 2018). They can feel devalued and isolated, with perhaps a distorted sense of self-worth (Emdin, 2016). So, how can schools, and society, do better?

A Relational Approach to Teaching and Learning

At its core, education is a human experience—an experience with infinite combinations of emotions, thoughts, abilities, and knowledge. However, the education system does not seem to be built around the idea of human experi ence. It seems to be built around the idea of human utility—developing students’ capacities to contribute to the gross domestic product (Deresiewicz, 2015). If educators are not aware, they might continue to build lessons in which utility is the goal and a more passive style of learning is the norm.

One way is for schools to consider a more relational approach to teaching and learning. We are conscious beings with an inherent drive not only for infor mation and meaning, but also for connection (Cole, 2018). Vivek H. Murthy (2020), the twenty-first surgeon general of the United States, states, “It is in our relationships that we find emotional substance and power we need in order to thrive” (p. 51). Yet I continue to visit schools across the United States that sacrifice authentic and sincere relationships with their students for the rote development of skills and short-term application of knowledge.

To emphasize my point, the late Paulo Freire (2000), renowned educator and philosopher, states in his book Pedagogy of Freedom, “To transform the expe rience of educating into a matter of technique impoverishes a fundamentally human experience, namely, [its] capacity to form a human person” (p. 39). Such a reductive transformation might look like this: “Here is how you solve this mathematics problem. [Shows steps]. Now you try it.”

To minimize the negative effects of such a reduction, teachers can incorpo rate relational practices that value each student’s identity. Relational teaching methods not only focus on the how of learning, but also the who. For example, a relational teacher might say, “These problems can be tricky, and it’s OK to be stuck here. Can you tell me what you think the next step is?” This keeps their focus on the learner, not just the learning.

We must protect students’ right to be human before protecting a curricu lum, assessment, or grading policy. To help you achieve this goal, I present the following seven actions you can take to implement more relational policies and practices.

1. Make teaching more than a mechanical-transactional experience.

2. Shift the responsibility for learning to students.

3. Respect students’ life experiences.

4. Have better metrics for learning.

5. Pay attention to unspoken school-culture messages.

6. Make student agency and efficacy a goal of education.

7. Teach with students.

The scope of each action is broader and more nuanced than I have time to cover in this chapter. However, in the following sections, I attempt to briefly introduce the more salient aspects of each action.

Make Teaching More Than a Mechanical-Transactional Experience

I invite you to ask yourself, “Do I want to deliver lessons in which the pri mary goal is to know content and develop rote technical skills?” or “Do I want to provide lessons that help students gain the confidence and habits they need to sustain themselves throughout their lives?”

As you wrestle with these questions, it is important to remember that teach ing is not just about teachers making a difference in students’ lives; rather, it is primarily about teachers helping students learn how to make a difference in their own lives. In other words, teachers can be more influential in students’ lives by helping them become independent thinkers and learners. Therefore, I chal lenge all teachers to see themselves not as, for example, a mathematics teacher, art teacher, or English teacher, but as a teacher who uses mathematics, art, or

English content and context to create confident, self-defining, self-governing human beings.

To help you think about how you might achieve such a paradigm shift, I propose the following three general instructional tenets. Help students learn how to:

1. Create their competency

2. Verify the validity of their competency

3. Believe in their ability to maintain their competency

I will discuss these tenets, along with a relational lesson structure, in more detail later in the book, specifically chapter 5 (page 99).

Shift the Responsibility for Learning to Students

Making a change toward a relational teaching approach means shifting the responsibility of learning to the student (Bandura, 1997; Schimmer, Hillman, & Stalets, 2018). Learning is the student’s responsibility, while teachers are responsible for the conditions of learning. Think of a gardener. A gardener prunes, waters, and tends to the plant, providing all the conditions for growth. If the conditions are right, the plant is primed to grow and thrive. Similar are teachers, who nurture and provide the conditions for student growth.

Research about student responsibility in learning is vast, with some research citing that lack of responsibility can impede student growth and arrest socialemotional development (Brown, Roediger, & McDaniel, 2014; Lang, 2021). Other studies show that a lack of agency in children’s development could have compounding effects contributing to many social issues, such as poverty (Bandura, 1997; Zimmerman, Schunk, & DiBenedetto, 2015) or violent crime (Hill, 2020). The point is, when we shift responsibility for learning to students, we allow them to claim the authorship of their learning and ultimately, their lives (Giroux, 2020).

Respect Students’ Life Experiences

If we connect the learning in the classroom and the living students are doing outside the classroom, students may find more meaning in their time at school and potentially be willing to take more ownership of their growth (Darder, 2014). This means that if a teacher pays attention to the lives students are leading outside of school and attempts to connect to those lives during their instruction, their lessons might be more relevant to students. Emdin (2016)

argues a similar point: “I came to realize [that] . . . I could go directly to the students’ [lives] and simply work to make connections between [their lives] and the content I was charged to [teach]” (p. 143).

Have Better Metrics for Learning

If we are serious about the pursuit of relational pedagogy, then it is import ant to consider better measurements of student success. Many schools still use grade point averages (GPA), letter grades, and state (or province) scores as barometers of student success and overlook more humanistic measurements, such as relationship quality, grit, and self-reliant behaviors because they are difficult to calculate and analyze.

David M. Levy, technologist and professor in the Information School at the University of Washington, states that as teachers, “we are being measured and evaluated all the time on things that don’t have to deal with what I think is cen tral to human values, like our ability to be human beings with one another” (as cited in Felten & Lambert, 2020, p. 80). The absence of these hard-to-measure metrics can leave many schools ignoring basic humanism when creating lessons, evaluating progress, and building school culture. If we can focus on measuring more humanistic measures, like strength of relationships and levels of support in students’ social networks, perhaps we would be more likely to help students learn how to transform their learning and life trajectories (Espinoza, 2011).

Pay Attention to Unspoken School-Culture Messages

Using the conventional measures of GPA, state (or province) rankings, or AP scores could leave the advertised school culture in conflict with the actual cul ture (Muhammad & Cruz, 2019). For example, a high school district may publicize a balanced education for all its students but at the same time, celebrate achievement by overfocusing on high SAT and AP scores in their community newsletter. Or its staff may use these metrics as they review student learning. Both of these practices can implicitly signal to students that achievement mat ters above anything else and press students to take on more and be someone they may not want to be, which can weigh on students’ psyche and even drain them physically (Emdin, 2021). For example, students may think they have to “shoulder a heavy load of Advanced Placement (AP) courses” because it’s expected (Hibbs & Rostain, 2019, p. 15).

Make Student Agency and Efficacy a Goal of Education

It is documented that the higher one’s efficacy and agency, the more robust the motivation, confidence, and drive to learn (Bandura, 2011; Dunlop, Beatty, & Beauchamp, 2011). Same with the converse—the lower one’s agency, the more apathy and indifference one might have toward learning (Anderson et al., 2019). Both agency and efficacy have been shown to correlate to many health and wellness benefits such as healthy actions and choices, increased effort, perseverance, ability to handle adversity, healthy thought patterns, and lower stress or depression (Bandura, 1997; Hattie, 2015; Zimmerman et al., 2015). Efficacy and agency have many causal connections to successful learning, such as increased feedback acceptance, more meaningful self-reflection, and more accurate self-assessment (Hattie, 2012). Even with the corpus of research, effi cacy and agency are often seen as traits students will develop after primary and secondary education.

Teach With Students

Although teachers have more experience and expertise than their students, it doesn’t mean students don’t have any of their own. When we teach with students, we create meaning and knowledge from their minds and lives. Learning is an emergent concept, resulting from the interdependent collaboration and productive discourse between teachers and students—not from transactional exchanges of knowledge (Brown et al., 2014). Students know when their teacher is not respecting their inherent wisdom; when this happens, they may become disinterested or disengaged (Emdin, 2021).

Outcomes of a Relational Approach

In my school district, you can find a commitment to these seven relational teaching actions in our Portrait of a Graduate (see figure I.1, page 8). This por trait reminds us that our purpose is to nurture strong relationships so students can develop a sense of community and become self-defining adults who lead meaningful lives.

Further, this portrait guides us in the development of our policies and practices and reminds us that we are all human beings who long to connect, learn, and self-actualize.

Portrait of a Stevenson Graduate

Our students will commit to the following.

Self:

• Pursue a balanced high school experience

• Foster responsible, healthy, and ethical decision-making skills

• Develop a sense of resilience and self-awareness

• Demonstrate self-empowered and life-ready skills

Others:

• Celebrate, honor, and respect diverse people and perspectives

• Develop a sense of empathy for those around them

• Serve local, national, and global communities

• Engage in civic duties and responsibilities

Learning:

• Strive for continuous improvement

• Foster a curious, creative, and innovative mind

• Sustain a growth mindset when facing new challenges

• Develop problem-solving and reflective skills

• Collaborate with and learn from others

Source: Adlai E. Stevenson High School, n.d. Used with permission.

FIGURE I.1: Sample portrait of a graduate.

About This Book

This book is my attempt to help educators make relationships a priority in their schools. In each chapter, I outline practices that prioritize relational peda gogy and reflect the seven actions that promote relational policies and practices, so students might have a better chance to develop into self-sufficient learners who respect community, self, and learning (Bandura, 1977).

The late renowned social scientist, Albert Bandura, often studied his social learning theory in schools. His work is seminal in the areas of student agency, social learning, and human connection, so I have cited much of his research

throughout these pages (Bandura, 1977, 1982, 1984, 1986, 1997, 2011). Contemporary studies continue to cite his work (see Horsburgh & Ippolito, 2018; Rumjaun & Narod, 2020).

This book is divided into two parts, with each chapter covering a distinct area of relational pedagogy and offering tools to make your teaching more relational and interpersonal.

Part 1, Foundational Principles of Relational Teaching, is about redefining the concept of teaching. Chapter 1 explores the definition of relational pedagogy and discusses its value in the classroom. Chapter 2 explores the attributes of the relational teacher.

Part 2, Relational Practices, is about transforming existing practices to focus on teacher-student relationships. Chapter 3 discusses how teachers can orga nize curricula to increase relevancy in students’ lives. Chapters 4 and 5 cover instructional and assessment practices that are more conversational and relational. Chapters 6 and 7 extend the principles of relational pedagogy into feed back and rubrics. Finally, chapter 8 reviews evidence-based, relational grading practices that include student voice. Throughout the book, I also include templates to help you unlock the potential of relational pedagogy and get to know your students better.

Conclusion

While this book is for educators of all grade levels, administrators and leaders may find it helpful in leading conversations about a relationship-focused culture and use the information in each chapter to inform their current policies. I hope you will discover ways to create more connectedness and stronger rela tionships in your classroom through the purposeful use of relational pedagogy.

PRINCIPLES OF FOUNDATIONAL

RELATIONSHIPS AS THE FOUNDATION FOR EFFECTIVE PEDAGOGY

In my first few years as a teacher, I did what I was trained to do—focused on effective learning activities and witty ways to present information and assess ment data to see which students needed support. From an outsider’s perspective, I was an effective teacher; but internally, I felt disconnected from my students. I didn’t have a relationship with them. I had a relationship with my content.

Did I know in my heart that teaching is about students first? Yes, of course. However, due to my experiences with conventional practices, such as adultcentered teaching norms and achievement-focused culture (DuFour, Reeves, & DuFour, 2018), I was not always putting students first. Moreover, my insti tution rewarded me with high ratings on my teaching evaluations and state teaching awards. When I finally shrugged off the invisible cloak of bureaucratic pedagogy, a cloak that conventional school structures make many teachers wear unwillingly, I was able to build more student-centric approaches.

I became curious about my students, talked with them, and had them evaluate their own skill and knowledge levels, as well as the connection they felt with their classmates. I signaled that the core of my instruction was them. In a way, they didn’t even notice the lesson plan. Instead, they saw our classroom time together as purposeful action and meaningful dialogue.

This chapter discusses relational teaching and compares its tenets to conven tional practice. I explore how its principles can help you take more time to nur ture relationships with students and how, through these relationships, students

can demonstrate a heightened sense of satisfaction, a stronger understanding of their cognitive abilities, and more control over their academic and social competencies (Bandura, 1984).

Foundational Understandings of Relational Pedagogy

Many educators aim to develop relationships with students to teach more effectively (Bovill, 2020; Weldemariam & Wals, 2020). Moreover, a lot of research around relational pedagogy finds it to be a critical factor in learning (Hollweck, Reimer, & Bouchard, 2019; Milner, 2018) due to its focus on understanding students for who they are as people and the value it places on mutual under standing and respect.

In their study, Supporting Teachers in Relational Pedagogy and Social-Emotional Education: A Qualitative Exploration, researchers Jocelyn Reeves and Lucy Le Mare (2017) state that “positive teacher-student relationships are associated with a variety of desirable child outcomes” (p. 86). These desirable outcomes can include self-worth, positive self-talk, interpersonal trust, and empathy. Similarly, in their book Teaching the Whole Student, authors David Schoem, Christine Modey, and Edward P. St. John (2017) state that “relational teaching makes visible the humanity of the teacher, each student and the humanity of the class content, subject matter, and text” (p. 79). This visibility of their humanness can help teachers focus more deliberately on helping students develop a more solid sense of efficacy, increase their agency, and build higher levels of resilience (Cook-Sather & Matthews, 2021).

Relational pedagogy is the collection of practices and policies that leverages rela tionships (teacher-student and student-student) to foster learning, make mean ing, and build competence (Hinsdale, 2016). Through relational pedagogy, teachers can leverage their relationships with students to challenge them with new, desirably difficult experiences, such as performing on one’s own, navigat ing new and unfamiliar cognitive challenges, and emotionally managing com plex feedback (Bjork & Bjork, 2014; Blackburn, 2018; Brown et al., 2014). If we, as educators, can incorporate more relational teaching practices into our everyday curriculum, students might see schools as meaningful places to be.

Core Components of Relational Pedagogy

Emdin (2016) states, “Teaching is not just telling students what you know; it is about knowing how to share what you know so that it can be optimally received” (p. 51). We can’t know how to share it unless we care enough to know our students more sincerely. When I realized that my teaching was neither

an authentic version of myself nor meaningful for my students, I reached for a higher purpose—human connection. After many years of using a relational approach to teaching, it is hard for me to dismiss the idea that relationships create wisdom. This section discusses the more salient aspects of six relational teaching practices.

1. Show students that you care about them.

2. Allow students to create meaning for themselves and be the subject of their learning.

3. Uncover students’ stories.

4. Foster a sense of belonging in your classroom.

5. Generate dialogue between you and students and among students.

6. Develop relationship-focused assessment.

Show Students That You Care About Them

Carol Gilligan (1982a) sums up care when she writes, “The idea of care is thus an activity of relationship, of seeing and responding to need, . . . [and] by sus taining the web of connection so that no one is left alone” (p. 62). Researchers still echo her statement (Lavy & Naama-Ghanayim, 2020; Trzeciak & Mazzarelli, 2019) and discuss the importance of expressing care, such as spending time with someone, giving that person a gift, or offering a hug, among others.

According to a study conducted by the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and Yale Child Study Center, which collected data from 21,678 high school students over a ten-year period: “Nearly 75% of the students self-reported their feelings related to school were negative” (Moeller, Brackett, Ivcevik, & White, 2020). Could this be due, in part, to students feeling disconnected and unrec ognized or uncared for as individuals?

Emdin (2021) comments on this when he writes:

If everybody is trying to be like somebody they are not, and if the sys tem of education is hell-bent on making everyone into a version of excellence that is about sameness, we will remain as we are, swim ming in inequity, struggling to make connections with young people in their communities, paying lip service to social justice and cultural relevance and maintaining the status quo. (p. 14)

Further, a Gallup-Purdue (2014) poll of college graduate students shows that if students have a teacher who cares about them as a person, they report higher levels of workplace engagement and a sense of thriving in their well-being.

With such a deficit in caring attitudes in society and schools, educators need to show students that they are an ally in their learning.

Some actions that can help show your students you care about them include the following (Finley, n.d.).

• Say students’ names a lot: Saying a person’s name is a powerful way to show you care about someone you are speaking to. A name is part of one’s self-representation and identity and is one of the more respectful ways to show someone you recognize them as an individual (Demetriou, Kazi, Spanoudis, & Makris, 2019).

• Don’t use scripted reflective questions: Examples of scripted reflective questions might include: “What did you learn today?” or “What do you still need to work on?” Instead, engage with students based on what you observe in class that day, for example: “So, today, I noticed . Let’s end class by thinking about .”

• React sincerely when students share news with you: Even if you feel you must get back to the lesson material, staying present with that student who is sharing with you is important for creating a connection. Too often we hear students, but we may not signal that we are listening.

Allow Students to Create Meaning for Themselves and Be the Subjects of Their Learning

Sometimes, the education system seems to signal to students that “knowing is repeating something an authority figure told them” (Felten & Lambert, 2020, p. 92). This ingrained perspective can result in a process of compliance, devoid of meaning or purpose for students (Reibel, 2021). When students feel like an outcome of a teacher’s effort rather than a person responsible for learning (Darder, 2014), they may perceive that their teachers don’t value them as indi viduals (Reibel, 2021).

Uncover Students’ Stories

One way to help position students as subjects of their learning is to encourage dialogue and sharing about their lives. Coauthors Peter Felten and Leo M. Lambert (2020) write, “By taking time to ask students ‘what is your story?’ and using the resulting information as a departure point for teaching, [you] can create more student-centered classrooms, more [reciprocity, and more] mutual

trust” (p. 3). Questions that can help uncover students’ stories might include the following.

• I can see you getting a bit more enthusiastic with [this problem or topic]. Would you like to share why?

• Interesting! What makes you say that?

• Can you see yourself using [this skill or knowledge] outside of school with your friends? How so?

• It seems like you have experience with [this theme]. Would you care to share more so we all can learn more from you?

Foster a Sense of Belonging in Your Classroom

In relational teaching, teachers see the time with their students as an opportunity to cultivate what psychologist Abraham H. Maslow (1943) identifies as one of the most basic human needs: belonging. When educators send explicit or implicit cues showing students that they matter, they help students recognize their inherent value, regardless of their level of proficiency or learning (Coyle, 2018). Following are some ways to foster a sense of belonging in your classroom.

• Listen to students: Listening is a sign of respect, but keep in mind that a student’s insights may be more valuable to your instruction than the materials from your textbook.

• Model empathy and compassion for students’ situations: Acknowledge student experiences, and do not dismiss them because there’s not enough time to learn the content.

• Be sincere with feedback: Sometimes teachers must pace the curriculum so quickly (they must cover so much content) that they may not slow down to focus on the sincerity of their interactions with students. Teachers should take time to give feedback that shows that they know their students, not just their work.

• Nurture kinship with students: Let them know you want to learn about them and with them.

• Let students’ inner person shine through: Provide opportunities for students to express their emerging selves. Add questions on your assessments, do activities in your instruction, and implement grading practices that allow students to be more expressive and contribute to the class in a more authentic emotional space.

These practices increase the chance that students will open up about their learn ing, which can help give teachers an opportunity to engage with a more real version of themselves.

Generate Dialogue Between You and Students and Among Students

Relationship-focused teachers work hard to know what their students care about and whom they are searching to become (Schlosser, 2014). Taking time to initiate dialogue and listen to what students say about themselves is essential to being a responsive and influential teacher. Bell hooks (2009) states, “When we learn and talk together, we break the notion that our experience of gaining knowledge is private, individualistic, and competitive. Fostering dialogue, we engage mutually in the learning partnership” (p. 43).

Dialogue helps you uncover what is happening in students’ inner worlds as they learn. For example, you could insert reflective pauses during instruction by asking questions such as, “Have you had any aha’s up to this point?” or “Do you have any questions that keep popping up?” Asking these types of questions serves the following purposes.

• It helps students understand that you care about them as people, not as outcomes of your lessons.

• It helps students feel more comfortable sharing their experiences and emotions.

• It helps you gain more context about students’ answers and the quality of their thought processes.

When I taught, I would tell myself, “Ask, don’t tell,” meaning ask students about their thinking first before I give them advice. This saying allowed me to pause my urge to teach for a few moments, which in turn, gave my students space to express themselves. In my last years as a teacher, I realized I was more effective as a reactor to students’ thinking or performance, instead of as a deliv erer of information or even an evaluator of work (Reibel & Thede, 2020).

Develop Relationship-Focused Assessment

You can use assessments to evaluate students and get to know them simultaneously. In other words, assessments can include interpersonal aspects, such as questions that stimulate students’ inner dialogue, inquire about them as individuals, and bring to light reasons for mistakes or misunderstandings that

may help you enhance instruction. For example, try adding questions to your assessments such as, “How is the exam going for you right now?” “What is one emotion you felt after the last section?” or “Did you guess or were you sure when you answered the previous question?”

When you add questions like these to your assessments, you increase the like lihood that students will see the assessment as your attempt to relate to them instead of only evaluate them.

Conclusion

Teachers who use relational pedagogy might help students learn to better meet the emotional demands in academic and social settings (Hibbs & Rostain, 2019). When you build relationships with students, they may be more willing to open up regarding their feelings about their learning; more inclined to share frustra tions, celebrate successes, and advocate for help during learning challenges.

ONE THING TO TRY TOMORROW

One thing to try tomorrow is to involve students in the learning process using more embedded assessments (Gobble, Onuscheck, Reibel, & Twadell, 2017) Embedded assessments are evaluation moments wrapped within instruction They are small moments of gathering learning evidence so you can subsequently use it to teach the next segment of the lesson The advantage of using em bedded assessments is you can adjust to students’ reactions im mediately, which students may perceive as a sincerer response to their learning If an observer entered the classroom where a teach er was using embedded assessments, it might be hard to distin guish assessment from instruction

“This book is an important read for those who want the very best for their students. Author Anthony Reibel’s emphasis on ensuring educators focus on students finding meaning and purpose in their learning is truly inspirational. This is a powerful work that challenges conventional thinking to help educators reflect and grow as leaders. I highly recommend it for those who want to improve learning for students and those who serve them.”

—JACK BALDERMANN Principal,

Westmont High School, Illinois

“ Embracing Relational Teaching is full of thoughtful templates, tools, and strategies for placing relationships front and center in daily planning, teaching, and assessment practices. More importantly, it offers powerful insight into why relational teaching matters to both teachers and learners, and why this approach truly honors the critical teacher-student relationship. Be ready for examples, ideas, and approaches that will shift how teaching and learning are experienced by the people they impact the most.”

—KATIE

WHITE Educational Consultant, Educator, and Author

In Embracing Relational Teaching: How Strong Relationships Promote Student Self-Regulation and Efficacy , author Anthony R. Reibel challenges the dominant approach of transactional teaching and encourages K–12 educators to pursue relational practices. This book unveils a student-centric pedagogy that grounds learning in trusting, supportive relationships between teachers and learners. Based on years of experience and expertise, Reibel explains how focusing curriculum, instruction, assessment, feedback, rubrics, and grading on student agency and efficacy can enhance classroom learning.

READERS WILL: Understand the meaning and principles of relational pedagogy Gain the ability to organize curriculum to focus on student-centered learning Utilize reflection tools to better build relational assessments Learn to implement observational learning and avoid transactional instructional models Develop deeper relationships with students