2Reframe:How to Be Resilient in the Face of Adversity

2REFRAME

How to Be Resilient in the Face of Adversity

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.

—Unknown

We’ve all felt it: the desire to be perfect. However, perfectionist tendencies often do more to hurt than help us. As Brené Brown (2010) has said, “Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield . . . it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from taking flight” (p. 56). Perfectionism makes it hard for us to respond in healthy ways, to express ourselves authentically, to cultivate healthy relationships, and to demonstrate self-compassion—all important factors that contribute to well-being (Vandraiss, 2017). The paradox of perfectionism is that it fundamentally separates us from others. Striving for perfection draws us away from authentic belonging, the ability to be who we are without apology, and that human element that makes us relatable to others.

Under the weight of high expectations, challenging classroom situations, and personal stressors, many educators develop maladaptive coping mechanisms such as fight, flight, and freeze (Skinner & Beers, 2016). To be self-aware and live wholehearted lives, we have to unlearn some of the unfortunate lessons we’ve learned through struggle (MentalHelp, n.d.). We must find new ways to reframe