Obstacles That Get in the Way of Being Brave

As we continue our leadership study, it is apparent that brave leadership is not easy; it requires leaders to overcome the often formidable obstacles that can get in the way. It’s about how leaders see obstacles. Do leaders see them as opportunities, or do they see them as reasons they cannot proceed? Talk show host, television producer, actress, author, and philanthropist Oprah Winfrey defines the way we suggest leaders approach obstacles: “When you meet obstacles with gratitude, your perception starts to shift, resistance loses its power, and grace finds a home within you” (as cited in Taylor, 2018). We will examine two obstacles that, in our experience, often get in the way of brave leadership—time and wanting to be liked.

Time

In schools, and likely in most workplaces, it seems people are constantly rushing around trying to get things done. Most days feel like a whirlwind of decisions and interactions with students, staff, parents, and other leaders. This whirlwind often propels leaders to make decisions quickly, and sometimes leaders do not carefully consider quick decisions like when they take the time to think through a decision deliberately. We suggest you practice slowing things down a bit so you don’t get caught up in the whirlwind. Why slow things down? Slowing down creates time to consider your options and think through the best choice for your students and staff. When rushed for time, you might make a decision that resolves an issue quickly to check it off your list instead of the more courageous choice. We can think of many times when we got sucked into the whirlwind as leaders and regretted the message we inadvertently sent to our staff by making a decision not aligned with our school or district core values. As a district leader, Jeanne often faces decisions that need a quick answer or response. Early in her career, she would jump quickly to the response without thoroughly thinking through all options. Now, she makes a conscious decision to slow things down a bit (well, as much as possible) to use the team around her to consider options and run decisions through a pros-and-cons process, as well as a check to see that the decision options align with her district’s values and beliefs. Best-selling coauthors and brothers Chip and Dan Heath (2013) explore how to improve the quality of decisions in their book, Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work. One of the most significant decision-making mistakes they

address is people’s propensity to make decisions too abruptly. They suggest that people consider a few alternatives before making a decision. In a discussion with Lillian Cunningham (2013) as part of her Washington Post blog On Leadership, Chip Heath suggests there could be more than one way to address the situation.

Before you make any changes, consider a couple alternatives. We tend to act in a way that psychologists call ‘confirmation bias.’ Information that is consistent with our initial hypothesis—that supports what we initially believe—is just more readily available and more attractive to us. So what I would say is take the time to look for reasons you might be wrong as well as reasons you might be right.

This process is similar to the one Jeanne and her team employ (see page 28). The key is to slow things down whenever possible; otherwise, it is very easy to fall out of alignment with your values and inadvertently send inconsistent and confusing messages to your staff.

Wanting to Be Liked

“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time . . . and you would achieve nothing!” former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher said in May 1989 on the 10th anniversary of her premiership (Press Association, 1989). When your mission is to be liked, you may compromise doing what is right to avoid conflict. This poses a real challenge for those who lead. As leaders, we have experienced the pull between doing the right thing and doing what we think will make people happy. Early in our careers, we admit to making the mistake of choosing the popular decision rather than the decision more aligned to our values. What do you think your tendency is? How do you know? Take a look at the chart in figure 1.7 (page 30). The left side of the chart reveals the behaviors present when you lead from wanting to be liked. The right side of the chart indicates the behaviors more inclined to be present when you recognize the importance of being respected over the need to be liked (Riegel, 2018). Leading from within requires actions and decisions aligned to respect, integrity, and honesty rather than the desire to be popular. What steps can you take to create more opportunities to lead from the right side of figure 1.7?

Professionals and leaders who want (and often need) to feel liked tend to: Professionals and leaders who recognize the importance of being respected— with or without being liked—are more inclined to:

• Seek positive attention and approval • Engage in gossip rather than giving direct feedback

• Try to please everyone • Make promises they can’t keep • Keep strong opinions to themselves • Flood people with credit, compliments, and praise • Play favorites (but pretend they don’t) • Use information as leverage, withholding or giving it away • Give people tasks they enjoy rather than assignments that stretch and challenge them • Focus more on how people feel (in general, and about them personally) than about achieving outcomes • Tell the truth, even if it’s unpopular • Explain their thinking behind the difficult decisions they make • Acknowledge “the elephant in the room,” even if they can’t fix it • Say “no” when they need to • Be open-minded and decisive • Give credit when it’s due to others and also take it when it’s due themselves

• Tolerate feelings of disappointment, frustration, sadness, and anger in themselves and others

• Hold people accountable for their results • Be consistent and fair in setting rules and expectations • Set and honor boundaries for themselves and others

• Deliver negative feedback directly and promptly • Ask for feedback regularly and then act on it

• Apologize when they make mistakes and then move on

• Model the behavior they expect from others

(Riegel, 2018)

FIGURE 1.7: Leading through a lens of popularity versus from alignment to values.

The following is an example of Karen leading from the right side of figure 1.7. This story illustrates leadership that focuses on getting respect versus being liked. As you read Karen’s story, think about the obstacles she faced, how she handled each one, and how the story might have had a different ending if she let the obstacles get in the way of what she knew was the right thing for students and staff.

When Karen was superintendent of a school district, she faced a tough decision. One Sunday morning early in the school year, she received word that one of her high schools (housed in a historical building in the downtown core of the city) had been assessed with structural issues; safety experts recommended she close the

school immediately. Instantly, Karen faced several obstacles—one was obviously to ensure the safety of students and staff while determining a way for learning to continue. The second immediate obstacle was a logistic and communication plan. This closure would impact many families and staff, including community members who held the historical building near and dear to their hearts. The school board and provincial government officials would need to be well informed and supportive of the action plan. Lastly, she didn’t have time to waste as her leadership team needed to mobilize quickly to find space and move students and staff with careful attention to detail.

Karen’s leadership team planned to house the 1,500 students in two other buildings—one was a new school scheduled to open in a few weeks, but had not opened yet. The other required moving students from one elementary school to another with low enrollment to create space for half of the high school to take over the first school. The high school students were split; there was no other way to continue the school year. Over the weekend, furniture was moved, and the new temporary schools reopened in a week. Karen and her leadership team felt they made the best decisions throughout this journey, focusing on safety as the priority. However, initially, the decision upset both high school and elementary parents. The media, unfortunately, sided with the parents. Karen and her team faced very hostile public meetings fueled by negative media coverage. Initially, it seemed the shock of the quick and immediate decision to close the school and move students upset parents and the community. As the year went on, the parents saw that school and learning continued with little disruption and students, staff, and families adjusted to the change. However, the community at large feared the long-term closure of a historic building in the heart of the city. The alumni of the school continued to lead a public campaign against the closure of the school despite the health and safety issues. This was a constant obstacle despite her and the staff’s belief that they provided a safe solution to a problematic situation. There was no economical or easy fix to the structural issues, and Karen decided this was best for the students and staff. On many occasions, Karen had to justify her decision to government officials and the public while working diligently to operationalize and ensure a smooth transition to the new learning environments for all students.

Over time, the school board closed the building permanently and built a new high school for the students. Looking back now, Karen knows this was one of the most challenging times in her career. She felt vulnerable throughout the debates and did not appreciate the lack of public support. There were many times when Karen