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LIFESTYLE HEALTH TRAVEL FASHION COMMUNITY NEWS ENTERTAINMENT MORE JAN/FEB 2012

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F OR THE MODERN MAN

THE BOY NEXT DOOR

WE GET TO KNOW PW DU TOIT SHAGGED SENSELESS 25 SEXCITING TIPS

WIN

A WEEKEND GETAWAY A RUFSKIN HARNESS

SEXUAL FREEDOM MOVING BEYOND LABELS

POP ROYALTY

EXCLUSIVE ERASURE INTERVIEW

MURDER ON THE DANCE FLOOR

IS CAPE TOWN GAY CLUBBING STILL ALIVE (AND WELL)?

BARE ESSENTIAL FASHION ITEMS TRAVEL DESTINATIONS FOR MEN ONLY FLEXITARIANISM RESPONSIBLE PnP

The End or a New Beginning? 2012 HOROSCOPE FORECAST

SNAPPED!

MCQP SOCIAL PIX

THE DIGIMAG ISSUE

SPECIAL DIGITAL LAUNCH ISSUE FREE FUTURE PRINT ISSUES R25 (incl VAT) Other countries R21.89 (ex tax)

M CONTENTS

REGULARS WIN

074

UPFRONT

MY STEAMY VALENTINE

011

COMMUNITY

ENTERTAINMENT

THE BOY NEXT DOOR

018

MURDER ON THE DANCEFLOOR

026 HEALTH

LIFESTYLE

FITNESS 101

041

BARE ESSENTIALS

042

FOR THE MODERN MAN

003

M CREDITS

LIFESTYLE HEALTH TRAVEL FASHION COMMUNITY NEWS ENTERTAINMENT MORE JAN/FEB 2012

F OR THE MODERN MAN

Mmagazine.co.za

F OR THE MODERN MAN

THE BOY NEXT DOOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

WIN

WE MEET PW DU TOIT SHAGGED SENSLESS 25 SEXCITING TIPS

RENOLD BORCHERDS

A WEEKEND GETAWAY A RUFSKIN HARNESS

editor@Mmagazine.co.za

CONSULTING EDITOR

SEXUAL FREEDOM

FORGET LABELS MAN, LET’S F**K

POP ROYALTY

EXCLUSIVE ERASURE INTERVIEW

MURDER ON THE DANCE FLOOR IS OUR GAY CLUB SCENE MISSING A FEW BEATS?

RICHARD GOLLER

2012 HOROSCOPE FORECAST ESSENTIAL FASHION ITEMS MEN ONLY TRAVEL DESTINATIONS

richard@Mmagazine.co.za

SNAPPED!

MCQP SOCIAL PIX

THE DIGITAL ISSUE

SENIOR WRITER

SPECIAL DIGITAL LAUNCH ISSUE FREE FUTURE PRINT EDITION PRICE R25 (incl VAT)

JUANNE-PIERRE DE ABREU

Other countries R21.89 (ex tax)

juanne@Mmagazine.co.za

FOOD EDITOR HEIN SCHOLTZ

COVER PHOTOGRAPHER: BYRON L KEULEMANS MODEL: PW DU TOIT BRIEFS: D&G

hein@Mmagazine.co.za

SENIOR COPY EDITOR SARA COHEN

COPY EDITOR CARL COLLISON

COPY EDITOR JESS JOOSTE

LAYOUT & DESIGN

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CAPE TOWN

JOHANNESBURG

NICOLA TAYLOR

SONJA KAPP

nicola@Mmagazine.co.za 076 431 0383

sonja@Mmagazine.co.za 074 922 0636

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COPYRIGHT © FAHRENHEIT PUBLISHING cc | all rights reserved. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in whole or in part without the written permission of the publishers. Unsolicited contributions must be accompanied by a stamped addressed envelope if they are to be returned. We cannot accept responsibility of unsolicited manuscripts and photographs or for material lost or damaged in the post. Letters submitted to M or its editors are assumed to be to be intended for publication in whole or in part. The mention or appearance or likeness of any person or organisation in articles or advertising in this publication is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. While precautions have been taken to ensure the accuracy of advice and information given to readers, neither the Editor, Publisher, nor the Proprietors can accept responsibility for damages or injury which may arise therefrom.

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M THE EDITOR’S PAGE

I have to admit that I am relieved to finally have the first issue of M magazine finished. Not only has it been a realization of the amount of work involved in putting together a quality magazine, but also a deeper understanding of my various emotional and tolerance levels. What started off a few years back as a deep desire to produce a quality gay magazine has been driven by a passion, clear vision and a determination over the years, which I now realize had never faded. That passion and determination is stronger than ever and the vision clearer. When it came to defining the identity of the magazine I realized that the target market I was originally aiming for had evolved and so, too, had my concept for the magazine. I no longer wanted to produce a gay magazine, I now wanted to create a quality men’s lifestyle magazine which was stylishly designed and contained quality editorial aimed at not

only gay men, but bisexual and sexually curious and adventurous men – essentially men who have sex with men (MSM). The diverse group of men included in the term MSM are men who are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual and who can be either relatively masculine or effeminate in their dress and mannerisms. Many people believe that men who have sex with men are a marginal group in our population. However, research in South Africa shows that many MSM (up to 50%) may identify as heterosexual and have female sex partners. MSM and gay refer to different things: behaviour and social identity. MSM refers to sexual activities between men, regardless of how they identify, whereas gay can include those activities but is more broadly seen as a cultural identity. Ok, this all sounds rather confusing and academic, so let me sum it up like this: M magazine is a men’s lifestyle magazine aimed at transforming the men’s market by providing the foundation to a new era of sexuality and masculinity for affluent, educated, metropolitan gay, bisexual and sexually curious men. (Read our Man-to-Man article on page 23.) M is the first magazine of its kind with a wide selection of sexy and sophisticated content which includes a mix of health, community, lifestyle and entertainment features specifically written for its diverse target market. I hope that this is reflected within the pages of M and I hope M magazine will soon become the quintes-

sential, trendsetting publication for the modern man. I would like M to assist men with their sexual choices, create unity within our community and help guys feel good about themselves, and we can’t achieve these goals without your input, comment, feedback and criticism, so please mail us. Looking forward.

Ren Borcherds EDITOR

PS: Thank you to my family and friends for your encouragement and support and to a great group of individuals who all contributed their creativity to produce these pages.

MESSAGE THE EDITOR

Got something to say? Write to the editor and if your letter is chosen as the winning letter you will receive an Essential Life gift hamper worth R1 600. EMAIL: letters@Mmagazine.co.za or FAX: 086 764 9487 (Please include your name, address & phone number) Inspired by the motto ‘Design is intelligence made visible’, Essential Life creative director Adrian Lombard’s company specialises in uniquely South African lifestyle products, interior accessories, artworks and multifunctional hard furnishings. For an inspiring retail experience visit the Essential Life store at Shop 6, 17 4th Avenue, Parkhurst, Johannesburg. For more info, go to www.essentialliferetail.com or call 011 447 2142. This exclusive hamper includes an Essential Earth Natural Brew Tea Kit, Black Eastern Tea Set with Platinum Detail, Mixed Teabag Infusions Box Set and Fynbos large green round glass platter.

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M CONTRIBUTORS It takes a whole lot of passion, creativity and the occasional favour to put together a magazine like M. These are just some of the people we would like to acknowledge for helping produce our launch issue. GODFREY JOHNSON

Writer, Still the Bell of the Ball, pg 30 Godfrey Johnson is a multi awardwinning writer, actor, photographer, composer, singer and cabaret artist who has been performing for the past 20 years. His most recent highlights have been his one- man show Season in the Sun and Bambi Sings The FAK and Other Struggle Anthems with Pieter-Dirk Uys. Godfrey will be performing From Coward to Brel and The Johnson Jukebox at The Rhumbelow Theatre in Durban in February. For more information and booking details, follow Godfrey on Twitter (@godfreyjohnson), Facebook (godfreyjohnson) and his blog: www. godfreyjohnson. wordpress.com

Juanne-Pierre de Abreu

Senior Writer, A Slice of Pie - Which Way Up, pg 25

Super-talented writer and certified cinephile JuannePierre de Abreu thinks Contributors notes are ‘lame’. He thinks this quote sums him up rather nicely. We agree. ‘Only the individual who is solitary is like a thing placed under profound laws, and when he goes out into the morning that is just beginning, or looks out into the evening that is full of happening, and if he feels what is going on there, then all status drops from him as from a dead man, though he stands in the midst of sheer life.’ – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet.

David de Olalde

Photographer, The Boy Next Door, pg 18, The Beach Boys, pg 52 Spanish-born David de Olalde has spent most of his life studying and working around the world in places such as the US, Germany, Brazil, Portugal and France. He has focused his career on photography and modelling for the last few years, as this has allowed him to enjoy and explore in depth the two sides of the fashion industry, improving his performance in both - this guy can really go both ways! David arrived in Cape Town last October, fell in love right away with the city and its people. He has worked for some major European brands that come here to produce their advertising.

CLINTON LOWE

Writer, Passport to Success, pg 32 Clinton Lowe is an accountant by day, but deep down has his eyes set on a top job at Rolling Stone. Fun-loving and curious about life, his passion for music was unashamedly apparent from an early age – starting up his own home ‘radio station’ at age nine much to his family’s enjoyment. Trained in various musical instruments, Clinton has an almost obsessive nature when it comes to music – constantly on top of the latest news, looking up the hottest tracks before they reach radio and scouring the web for new artists. When not listening to music, you can find him catching a tan on the beach or in the kitchen trying out a Nigella recipe.

Deon Lourens

Byron L Keulemans

Photographer, Alternative Ending, pg 6

Photographer, Cover, Bare Essentials, pg 42

Deon Lourens is a physical theatre major with an obsession for magazines (or rather the feel, look, smell and presentation of them). Having worked on different publications, he divides his time between photography and the conceptualisation of new projects for a theatre-based productions house (of which he is a co-founder). A self-confessed Gumtree addict, Deon believes one should only spend time searching for two things in life: wooden furniture and great coffee.

Byron L. Keulemans was born somewhere in the 70s. Things went pear shaped when he bought a camera he couldn’t afford 16 years ago. He has been arguing with it ever since. To complicate matters he now owns a model agency. He has a penchant for telling the truth and wearing white. People refer to him as Kung Fu Panda or The Cloud. He finds this offensive and untrue. The truth is Byron does great work for Men’s Health, GQ and now for us. Check out some of his work at www. byronlkeulemans. com.

Would you like to have your creativity featured in the pages of M magazine? We are looking for writers, photographers, stylists and designers who would like to have their creative talent showcased in M. Do you have stories, opinions or observations to share? Perhaps you use images to communicate? Or maybe you have the right look? Well, we’d like to hear from you. If you would like to contribute in any way please send your details to info@Mmagazine.co.za. 006

Mmagazine.co.za

M MANHUNT

DO’EM DUDES & DADDIES Juanne-Pierre de Abreu takes you through a steaming hot list of MAGNIFICENT MEN who HAVE been whetting our appetites lately. And yes, you’re allowed to drool.

TYRONE KEOGH. The chiselled-jawed local boy that got us going wild with his turn in The Wild. This, as well as his badboy-off-set reputation, leaves us wishing we could get (really) intimate with what lies beneath that khaki game ranger outfit of his.

ALEX PETTYFER. The youngest pretty boy on our list first

smacked us across the face with his boy-next-door good looks in I am Number Four before coming back to slap us on the other cheek in Beastly. Divine.

JOE MANGANIELLO. The smouldering werewolf in True Blood has us doing our level best to contain our inner beast, especially as his interpretation is nothing like Twilight’s wimpy kiddie version. This is a real man, er, wolf, er, wolf-man. BRADLEY COOPER. The Limitless funny man whose great

hair and awesome smile make him a real charmer. And after his hot man-on-man sex scene in the hilarious 2001 cult film Wet Hot American Summer, who wouldn’t want to share some pillow giggles with this one?

LEWIS HAMILTON. This F1 driver has had our hearts racing

for a while now. Let’s just hope he takes his time in the sack as opposed to the breakneck speed at which he effortlessly completes those laps. Although, we have to admit, we’ll take what we can get.

RYAN GOSLING. Ah, the great love: the one who’ll break you in and break your heart. We would love to fall in Crazy, Stupid, Love with him. Oh, wait... too late.

BRYCE THOMPSON. This tour de force model has been

setting hearts a-flutter since launching his lucrative modelling career. The fact that he works with underprivileged children in his spare time makes him even more attractive to us. A true Adonis.

KEVIN TSEHISI. The 2006 Men’s Health Man of the Year and owner of True Men model agency beguiles us with his smooth-like-ice-cream-on-a-hot-summer’s-day looks, making us want to lap it all up before it melts away. GERARD BUTLER. Although pushing 50, this love-daddy-inthe-making is a beefcake of burly man-mass and would no doubt prove a worthy opponent in some sweaty boudoir wrestling.

IMAGES GOOGLE IMAGES

CHAD SAAIMAN. We’re not sure whether it’s the gorgeous locks, smooth complexion or smooth-as-butter vocals, but this Capetonian crooner makes us want to get serenaded... over and over again.

and over again. Capetonian crooner makes us want to get serenaded... over locks, smooth complexion or smooth-as-butter vocals, but this CHAD SAAIMAN. We’re not sure whether it’s the gorgeous wrestling. no doubt prove a worthy opponent in some sweaty boudoir in-the-making is a beefcake of burly man-mass and would GERARD BUTLER. Although pushing 50, this love-daddy-

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M POSITIVE INFLUENCE

ALTERNATIVE ending Alternative massage practitioner, Wieland Bettziecheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life has taken many interesting turns; from following the girl he loved to Africa and meeting Mr. Right, to learning that life doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always go according to plan, and finally finding his calling in the Mother City. Hein Scholtz took a hands-on approach to find out more.

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meet Wieland outside his apartment in Tamboerskloof, Cape Town, and I am immediately struck by his slender yet muscular build. His cats greet me before he gets a chance, and he smiles sheepishly at his three ‘kids’. ‘They are curious about who this man is, coming to visit me,’Wieland chuckles, and he greets me with a smile before inviting me inside for tea. Wieland is an alternative massage practitioner – one that comes highly recommended. But apart from his professional credentials and his charming good looks, there’s a very interesting history beneath his incredibly cool demeanour. Born under Communist rule in Leipzig, East Germany, in 1970, Wieland was shaped by the political landscape of Germany at the time. He grew up in a small town where his curiosity and sportsmanship were stimulated by his home – an 18th Century Saxon King hunting lodge-turned hospital. It was here that his parents – his dad, a medical doctor, and his mother, a physiotherapist – inspired him to follow in their footsteps, and he developed a love for science and the human body. Pictures of his family adorn the walls of his living room – some in old frames, some in newer ones, but all the pictures sport smiling faces and interesting backgrounds. He’s an avid athlete and (judging by his ripped body I am not surprised, as one needs years of training to look this good at 41), he was ‘scouted’ by a state-run extra-curricular organisation that helped him hone his love for running. His dad, who suffered from polio before meeting his mother, was also somewhat secretly political, and was linked to several prominent liberals in West Germany. ‘I remember thinking how strange it was that my dad wrote to his friend under a different name,’ he says. As a result of his father’s liberal connections, his promising staterun sports career suddenly ended. ‘You won’t believe how terrible the politics was back then. Our phones were tapped and people followed my parents around.’ After finishing high school and working a few odd jobs (including a postman, a male nurse and even a stint in the army), he eventually found his calling at medical school in Leipzig in 1992. This is where he met his girlfriend. I raise my eyebrows, thinking I’ve heard wrong. ‘I’m not one of those people who is 100% gay or straight. At the time I loved her, and that was all that mattered,’ he says. ‘We actually met when she caught me with a guy – so she totally knew,’ he jokingly laments. He followed her to Africa during an academic break in 1993, and it was here that he lost his heart, both to the continent, and to a young South African man

M POSITIVE INFLUENCE working in Namibia. His girlfriend soon went back to Leipzig to continue her medical studies, and Wieland, who was smitten with Africa and the promise of his first long-term gay relationship, stayed on. Based in Cape Town since 1994, he relished in his first gay relationship, and decided to write a BA in History and Languages. ‘The problem with coming from a Communist country,’ he says in the most eloquent English this side of the mountain, ‘is that English isn’t a priority – and no one in Cape Town appreciated my Russian! So I battled during those first few years.’ After completing his degree, he worked as a freelance translator before joining a call centre for Swissair in 2001. It was at this point that he contracted HIV. Strangely enough, he has a very collected approach to the subject. ‘I remember how I felt when I found out – you would not wish it on anyone. But I have grown with it as a person, and I have accepted that it’s a part of me now. I was in love at the time and I knew exactly what the consequences would be if I was intimate with him.’ He notices that I have stopped breathing and says almost nonchalantly, ‘Funny, I have always had a wonky immune system – but now that I have HIV I rarely get sick because of the emphasis I place on my health.’

I bite my lip

and

wonder who the lucky bastard is. Around the same time he was diagnosed, he became disillusioned with academia while writing his Masters’ thesis, and he embarked on a journey of selfdiscovery which led to starting his own massage practice in 2008 – his love of science and the body had finally come full circle. I really love what I do – and it’s a profession that not only leaves you in tune with yourself, but also where there’s so much to learn.’ Wieland is about to go meet a client before the end of the day, and I am getting ready to leave. He is ever courteous, and sees me to the door, and – together with his furry kids – bids me farewell. He’s already donning a pair of training pants and a tight vest. I bite my lip and wonder who the lucky bastard is. M To book a session with Wieland, contact Wieland Reiki & Massage on 083 583 9737

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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FROM AROUND THE WORLD

M NEWS

010

2011 The Year of the

Queer

From supposed serial killers to legalised gay marriage, 2011 sure was an eventful year. Hein Scholtz takes us through some of the highs and lows…

he supposed gay serial killer in Johannesburg has been the talk of the city since local and international media picked up on, and connected the dots between, several murders which were previously thought to have been unrelated. Carte Blanche interviewed a visiting professional serial killer profiler from the United States, who felt that the murders bore the hallmarks of the work of a serial killer. Although it still remains to be seen whether the murders are in fact the work of a serial killer in the Gauteng area or not, the cases highlight the danger of online hook-ups and the way in which it has become socially acceptable for people to meet complete strangers and invite them into their homes. South Africa once again won the Mr Gay World title with Francois Nel from Gauteng walking away with the sash (shouldn’t they also get a tiara?). In the competition’s three-year existence, South Africa has scored two consecutive victories. And with the announcement of hunky Lance Weyer from the Eastern Cape as the new Mr Gay SA, as well as the 2012 competition to be held in Johannesburg, the chances of South Africa pulling a third title from their magician’s hat seems to be a real possibility. Interestingly, the competition has also sparked debate regarding whether it really is necessary to hold such an event – let’s keep a close eye on the opinion columns in the run-up to the 2012 event. Then there is the business of Jon Qwelane who was found guilty of hate speech by the South African Human Rights Commission after writing a column in 2008 titled ‘Call me names, but gay is not ok’. Currently the South African ambassador to Uganda – a country wellknown for its persecution of gays – the guilty verdict had been rescinded, as he has been unable to make a court appearance (according to his lawyers, due to diplomatic duties). The SAHRC has subsequently been ordered by the Johannesburg magistrate’s court to pay his legal counsel. The matter is to start afresh in 2012. On the topic of Uganda, everyone is aware of the

Mmagazine.co.za

government’s homophobia. What started as a parliamentary discussion about outlawing homosexuality was eventually tabled as a Bill, which would effectively jail and even kill anyone who ‘practised’ homosexuality in the central African country. State-owned media had even taken to publishing the names and addresses of hundreds of gay men and women in the country, urging the population to take action against them – ultimately leading to the much-publicised death of gay rights activist David Kato. After this provoked strong condemnation from, among others, US President Barack Obama, the Bill has been shelved – albeit temporarily. Its author, David Bahati, has however vowed that the controversial Bill will be passed. Australia’s GetUp! Advocacy organisation released a short video in support of gay marriage shortly before the Australian Labour Party met at their biennial national conference in Sydney. The video, which had more than 3 million views in its first three days of release, is seen as the catalyst for a policy shift in favour of ending marriage discrimination in Australia. Prime Minister Julia Gillard has, however, not voiced support for gay marriage, preferring instead a conscience vote if pushed by delegates. In a surprising twist, the video has been hailed worldwide as a catalyst for change in various countries, with advocacy groups in the United States of America lobbying to have the video played on American television. Finally, the United States has seen its fair sure of both good and bad. The State of New York finally legalised same-sex marriage, with groups rejoicing both in and out of the state. Governor Andrew Cuomo, who had supported the bill, signed it amidst great fanfare and street partying after a hushed senate chamber vote of 33-29 in its favour. Although New York State is the sixth of 50 states to recognise gay marriage the majority of states have already voted to have their constitutions changed to ban same-sex marriage. New York State’s stance is seen as a watershed moment for gay politics in the US with many lobbyists commenting that a critical mass had been reached. M

M LETTERS TO MISS LILLY

Dear M is s Lilly

In an age where civility and charm are often left by the wayside, Miss Lilly reminds us that etiquette and grace never go out of style. Answering question on such varied subjects aS cheating BOYfriends and dating fiascos to rude texters and pushy hookups, Miss Lilly SLAPTSILLI has the proper response for all of us who long for a return to ‘common’ courtesy.

Dear M is s Lil

ing more e are gett now and w ks e r wish for. e w ve l e y for severa guy could u a g s is g th in l with. I’m g th datin ow to dea and all the I’ve been n’t know h nd sweet o a d I d n e but at this ki su d is is n e stick arou dy odour o to intimate. H b a im h ve t a n he does h more. I wa ng Poet However, , balls and advise - Po feet, bum , th a re b t. ou Please w o talking b to ve I might ha rate I fear ways are a few rack there c g n ce. lli la e a p Poet r lovely sm erfumed Dear Pong ut with you ting your p o a sting e w o o h rm b y e o u p b re yo ce with a pongs from fa t n Well, befo g n te ki o c g, p in euuww! Su than floss t poofs with attention sue first: Ee to preven is re o th m a ats s e re d b m e with the ht white ften it ne Let’s deal e worst. O and veg, lig it tim ack u llp fr a to y sh r e m e fr eak is the boy meat. Off g d in re d e d a smelly b n fe a a y rt b t you had void dairy n diet. Sta ention tha g him to a M in . tt so focus o ts e n g . ra d im u n h a as to kiss alf in rest of water a w sexy it w on his beh and loads o r h e d rd n o a r o sh uthwa for work d using mo him lunch in a flash. ing basket uy who love p g p a o sh ith is les and w h scene is crispy so thwash in exfoliate h nging mou to fli das and e im b ra h P ill t e w is He easy fix. G owder in h n p f a o is ff ks u it) n p o ks and a Vera (vom ot) that h projectile quality soc A hoof (fo d to o e o b g d ld u d cut wo nails. A rse, a short clip his toe go. Of cou to d o o g t frankly. e you’r Deep Hea is heels. n rinds and o kicks off h m e h le s w a ra st ju ear of rt that out. knob! A sm the nasty er would so w o sh g a Nancy for h pre-s ink a sexy No, no, I th

Lill y

t smelt eakers tha y laptop sp m f o from his t il u a o nd this m iff came h se w u o a Y il a s. m ie by napp ened your nd dirty ba PS: As I op urnt hair a b f o o b m like a co computer?

Love,

Dear M is s Lill y

Lilly Slaptsilli is one half of the drag duo, Mince.

For the past few weekend s I have been at a club. W hooking up e have not ha with a guy I d sex yet an sooo hot that met d maybe it’s ju , even when st as well. He just kissing hi ejaculation is m, I’ve expe - and my bo rienced prem ttom gets m would love to at ur oi e st . This is very em invite him ba barrassing as ck to my plac remove my I e but know th pants, he wou at, should he ld be unwra pping a mes s. Help! - Wet Dear Wet Wip Wipe e Ok, I’ve just had a little up -chuck in m unpleasant y wig as a re information, sult of all this but, alas, I’m rather you have so here to help far been clev I suppose. I er en hope ough to at le fronts and w ear a thick je ast double up an pant so as on your Yto avoid visib My advice to le seepage. you would be simple: Prior hit the club to getting gl and suck fa ammed up ce with Mist loose your st to er Hot Socks, ool! This will tug on your al lo w tool and you some en evening of he durance to avy petting get through and French hunk home. an kissing before Be sure to ha finally haulin ve a pre-pe a good doos g the tting party po h before you o, giving your leave home. hazel Best of luck, .

Lill y

FOR THE MODERN MAN

009

M SPOTLIGHT

Oliver’s Twist Juanne-Pierre de Abreu recently met up with Skoonheid director Oliver Hermanus to find out more about the bold young auteur behind South Africa’s latest possible Oscar contender.

Would you call your style somewhat bleak? I actually never sensed the bleak nature of my work. However, it has been brought up a few times.

With the current Oscar buzz around Oliver Hermanus’ Skoonheid, I stepped out to grab a coffee with the man behind this stirring and uneasy film, expecting to find a typically pensive man more preoccupied with his phone than with answering any of my questions. To my delight, however, the tattooed, young, Cape Town-based filmmaker was decidedly eager to chat and I came away pleasantly surprised by his bold and unapologetic perspectives. Where did the concept of Skoonheid first develop? It was winter last year in Paris and Francois just walked into my head one day. And what is your message? It’s a cautionary tale about what happens when you don’t love yourself. Skoonheid is a story of extreme self-loathing. Because he doesn’t love himself, he doesn’t know what love is. The film moves at a very particular pace. Each scene is very lengthy with minimal dialogue, but the pace moves swimmingly. How did you achieve

Why did you not have a conclusion to your film? Why leave it so openended? I feel that seeking a resolution is a very mainstream mentality and I am not interested in that at all. Life’s always open-ended and left to interpretation which I feel needs to come through in my storytelling. Tell us about the end of the film? There were three different possible endings but at the end of the day the choice we made was an experiment to see how the audience would take to it. What was it like on set during the filming of the rape scene? It was fairly clinical to shoot it. It was a cleared-out room with only the actors and cameraman, so it was an intense day, keeping the crew sort of in the dark as they stood in the hallway outside and then pushing the actors. It was all rather challenging as a director. How were the actors? Charlie was particularly comfortable. After each take he would be covered in blood. I would re-dress him and then he would watch Harry Potter and try to get back to the correct headspace. Did you expect to win the Queer Palm Award at last year’s Cannes Film Festival? ‘People are either going to love it or they are going to hate it’, is what the popular consensus was on set. During the Academy Awards screening, people walked out. Love it or hate it, people are not going to forget it, which is really what I want.

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I don’t want to make something that people will forget. What response was the most important to you out of all the screenings worldwide? The film is culturally specific to South Africa, so the South African audience’s response was the most important to me but the most interesting was the response we had from an audience in Puerto Rico [during the Puerto Rico Queer Film Festival]. The film won the main prize [Best Picture] there but the people were so up in arms and had a very militant response. I am just glad that the actors were not there because they took the film very personally. What inspires you? Well, I watched a lot of Hitchcock for Skoonheid. What was the first film that attracted you to filmmaking? The Bear. My dad took me to see it in Port Elizabeth when I was nine. It made me so emotional and that is what I wanted to do: create something that other people will feel, will have some sort of deep reaction to. What genre is your favorite? I am anti-genre. The Hollywood game has a set of rules all of its own and I am just not that interested. Would you want to keep making South African films or are there plans to move abroad? This is a great debate. What is a South African film? Is it a South African story? Do South Africans make it? Or is it set in South Africa? M

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this? He is a voyeur, so trying to put an audience in that space takes a bit of time. It was a 70-page story, which should turn into 70 minutes on film but we made a 100-minute film in the end, which is probably a little self-indulgent.

M IN BED

My stea m y V alentine

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Valentine’s Day need not be all about soppy love songs and tacky cards. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu shares some inventive ways you and your beau can up the sensuality ante this year.

n South Africa, February is the month when the heat peaks and our landscape begins to bake - everything is hot. And maybe this is exactly the way we should approach our Valentine’s Day: by keeping things hot. When temperatures are soaring, however, getting hot and sweaty with another equally hot body can prove a little unpleasant for some of us. So how does one deal with this? It all begins with removing our clothes. No need to waste time with the energy exerting game of seduction – simply take it all off. The next step is creating a makeshift bed. Sheets and tons of pillows (preferably white) will not only give a nice clean look and cosy feel but will also allow you to lie and roll any which way you please. Don’t be shy to play a DVD (though steer clear of porn as this would be just too damn obvious, not to mention blatant). Try instead for something a bit more imaginative, like 300 or

Sucker Punch, as both these movies have soundtracks that are sure to get the blood flowing. Keep delicious treats close at hand. Cold juicy fruit always works well on a hot summer night. Something you can use your fingers to eat (and preferably drips) would also work very well. A giant caramel-filled chocolate would work wonders, with the caramel stretching and inevitably dripping all over your naked bodies. Don’t forget to put a pitcher of your favourite cocktail together. Think of combinations such as pineapple juice, orange juice, vodka and champagne. Stir as you pour and refill. This exercise is a sure-fire way to increase sensuality this Valentine’s Day. Being naked together and simply relaxing – and indulging - will help steer the evening to where it is inevitably headed: steaming hot sex. Remember: the slow-paced build-up of sensuality leads to an explosive eruption of sexuality. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M SUPPORT

PLASTIC MAKING IT BETTER AIN’T MY BAG

Darius Meadon reviews the damage caused by South Africa’s ‘national flower’ and offers a few tips that could help us lessen this pesky problem of plastic. I’ve always thought of plastic as a modern invention, but a bit of research has revealed that plastic as we know it, is 155 years old…and what a busy life it has had thus far. From its humble beginnings in a Birmingham laboratory, its rapid adoption has seen this material reshaping the world we live in - from insulating electrical wires to transforming architecture and packaging, much of modern society has been built around this flexible material. While plastic elicits visions of cheap dolls and take-away packaging, this robust material has in fact led to many innovations and indeed to the economic rise of countries such as China. For all the good it has done, its malleable nature and ease of use comes at a price. Because plastic is synthetic it cannot readily decompose the way natural materials do, which means it makes its way to landfills where it doesn’t degrade. Plastic bags are particularly harmful, since its light weight makes it an easy environmental pollutant. Plastic bags are pejoratively known as South Africa’s national flower which is unsurprising since we use approximately 8 billion of them a year. The scale of the problem, coupled with South Africa’s poor recycling culture, means that an acute solid waste problem has developed, with the persistence of plastic causing serious harm to the environment. Despite legislation and levies introduced to persuade shoppers to re-use plastic bags, very little has changed. It is clear that a big shift in people’s mindsets is required to solve this problem. M

Here are a couple of easy things you could do to help:

• Try not to use a plastic bag for nominal purchases. • Try ensuring that recycled bags are always in the car, office or home so you can take them along with you when shopping or for whatever other reason you might need them. • Wherever possible, try using bags made of natural or organic material. • Visit www.rethinkthebag.org and sign the petition to ban the plastic shopping bag in South Africa.

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The It Gets Better campaign seeks to offer hope to gay teens and has now taken off locally. Darius Meadon looks at the rise of this much-needed initiative.

I was that kid. You know the one: uncomfortably pudgy with abnormally large teeth and questionable hand-eye co-ordination; the one that was picked last for sports and stayed in the library during breaks. The promised butterflyesque metamorphosis of teen-hood only added insult to injury when fat and ugly’s friends, bad skin and braces joined the party. Teenage years are torturous enough when you fit in with the crowd, but when you find yourself on the fringes with no real role models, things become a whole lot trickier. All of this was made worse by the fact that, at the age of 13, I realised that I was in love with my best friend, who happened to be a boy. Transitioning through one’s teenage years is fraught with obstacles; however being gay means that one is often singled out as an easy target for bullies. It is for this reason that columnist and author Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller founded the internet-campaign, It Gets Better. Their vision was to spread a message of hope to curb the high rate of teen suicides amongst LGBT youth in the United States through having positive messages communicated to these teens by other gay men and women who could act as role models. The campaign has however grown so rapidly that it now also features endorsements

from gay and straight celebrities alike, with stars such as Justin Bieber, Ellen DeGeneres and Hillary Clinton lending their voices in support. And now, given the fact that despite South Africa being progressive in many ways, the bulk of our LGBT teens still experience some level of bullying, the campaign has taken off here too. Thanks to a small group of University of Cape Town students and staff, who teamed up with civil society organisations and high-profile individuals, It Gets Better Cape Town has been created. The campaign features a collection of short videos, featuring, among others, Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, UCT’s rugby captain Nick Fenton-Wells, Skoonheid star Charlie Keegan and Francois Nel, South Africa’s very own Mr. Gay World 2011. Lady Gaga too has recently, together with her mother, established the Born This Way Foundation which aims to empower young people who find themselves overwhelmed, unsupported and disconnected. With so much positive momentum, it seems likely that a future exists in which LGBT teens have one less thing to worry about. M

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M LOVE & SEX

WAYS TO SHAG YOUR SENSES

Breaking out of your ‘same-old, same old sex’ routine and injecting it with some much-needed oomph is, for most people, much easier said than done. M’s resident sexpert, Juanne-Pierre de Abreu, is not one of those people. Here he shares some deliciously naughty tips on how, through indulging your senses, you and your partner(s) can shag yourselves, er, senseless.

SIGHT 1. 2.

Mirrors, mirrors and more mirrors. Just find a full-on mirrored room. Need I say more?

Grab a camera. In fact, grab three and set them up in different positions. Be the director of your first gay porn - starring you. By the first rough cut of the film you should be cumming in your pants. How about an audience? Are you good enough to perform for others? Getting men turned on by how you screw could turn into an exciting psychological tennis game of sex - hitting the ball back and forth to see who explodes first. Play around in a room with a view or on a secluded mountain edge surrounded by ocean and make a point of taking in the view while teabagging your lover. Go watch a movie. Make sure it is early in the afternoon - when the cinema is quiet - whip it out and pop it in his mouth. He will love it.

SOUND

The sound of crashing waves can blend harmoniously with the pounding of two men’s bodies. So, get close to the ocean and take in its sounds.

Nothing new about screwing in a loud club, but how about shouting out in carnal ecstasy the next time you are in that bathroom cubicle fucking the stranger you picked up at the bar? The constant rush of water flowing from a waterfall accompanies the sounds of voices blending in passionate unison perfectly. If you like to make a noise and shout out a little, a waterfall will complement your “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum” screams as you, well, cum. All the men at a music festival are available, so it is a question of how you want your game to play out.

10. And what might you find at a festival? Why, a lazy river, of course. Find a desolate

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spot. Take a nap. Roll over. Slip it in. Take another nap. Slip it in again. Lazy rivers, hey! Rarely changing…so keeping the lovemaking constant.

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M LOVE & SEX

TOUCH

11. Reach around: Simple enough – in the standing position, the top jacks the

bottom off while panelling him …hard.

12. Vanilla: The ‘normal’ position, which is in fact so unfamiliar to us that calling

it the normal position makes it rather ironic.

13. Try a Train: Boy oh boy oh boy… or is it more like boy on boy on boy? Well,

for all the versatile guys out there, here is a treat for you: plug one while another plugs you. It is a true sensation.

14. Penthouse orgy: Be clear about what you want to get out of this, but a

good old-fashioned Bukkake gets some going once in a while. Also, to be lathered up in a selection of beautiful men’s seed has the added benefit of leaving one’s skin feeling rather rejuvenated.

15. The Chair: A chair without armrests works best. Simply straddle your lover

as he sits and move ever so gently. Take your time and do not buck. It’s all about stamina and not about force or power.

TASTE

16. With the release of a new chocolate pencil, one’s sexual imaginings are given a

new lease of life. Start off by placing your lover down somewhere warm and comfortable and then slowly tracing thick lines and wild patterns all over his naked body.

17. Use a tub of body fudge and paint in some of the open spaces. 18. Cut up strawberries and coat them lightly with vanilla-flavoured yoghurt and fill

the rest of the open spaces.

19. Top it all off with some whipped cream, low-fat of course - it’s less sticky. 20. Keep a few glasses of crushed ice-filled mojito cocktails close by to get the sweets

down while licking and eating away to your heart’s content.

SMELL

21. Does the smell of a new car’s interior intoxicate you? Ever done it in a brand-

new car? How about taking the car and trying to find some new smells to engulf the mind, while screwing your brains out.

22. There’s nothing like the fresh smell of nature to get one in the mood so

remember to get a little let’s-break-the-boredom-of-this-long-drive lovin’ at one of those picnic pit stops or skinny-dip in a reservoir on an isolated farm.

In South Africa, there are three products one needs to smell: wine, beer and biltong. So, while discovering our beautiful country why not discover what it’s like to:

23. Make love on a wine farm. 24. Screw against a beer vat, and/or 25. Fuck behind a biltong shop in the middle of nowhere. So there you have it. Here’s to keeping your year ahead filled with the delights of sensory exploration. M

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M KNOW YOUR RIGHTS

WITHOUT A

BRUISING For many men the dangers of cruising are a big part of the reason they are drawn to it. But what if danger comes from those responsible for serving and protecting us - the police? After a traumatic experience at the hands of policemen, Alex Stone asks himself what rights - if any does one have when cruising?

Ons gaan julle opfok!’ The voice appeared to come out of nowhere and was promptly followed by a sharp, painful blow to my chest. As it was around two in the morning, the Cape Town beachfront where my boyfriend and I had spontaneously decided to enjoy a romantic stroll, was deserted. This made the menacing, booming voice and subsequent blow all the more scary. Our shock, however, was soon replaced with incredulity as we realised that our assailants were in fact policemen, who, because this is a well-known cruising spot, presumed that we were there looking for a bit of flesh. Our attempts at finding out their names were met with them throwing sand in our eyes so as to avoid being identified. After finally getting into our car and leaving we relayed this story to a nearby Metro Police officer, who not only dismissed our claims but also refused to identify himself and prevented us from taking down his car’s registration number. Our shock and anger at what had happened to us was heightened by the

fact that we were not doing anything illegal by simply walking along the beachfront. But what if we had been cruising? What would our rights be – if we had any – in such a case? After consulting various legal experts, gay organisations and gay policemen, it would appear that while cruising perse is not illegal, one may be arrested for public indecency, receiving payment for sex and/or having sex with someone below the age of consent, even if this is consensual. Many gay men taken into police custody, however, are not aware of their basic civil rights and oftentimes allow these to be trampled upon by prosecutors or the police. While certain NGOs, legal and other groups are fighting against the manner in which police target men who have sex with men, it is still a fact that having sex where members of the public might see you could result in your arrest, unwanted publicity or other serious consequences, such as extortion, brutal beatings or worse.

So how can one cruise safely?

The New York-based NGO Lambda Legal’s Little Black Book offers the following tips: • Always carry identification in case you get hurt or arrested; • A cop doesn’t have to tell you he is a cop, even if you ask. If you’re cruising for sex and an undercover cop hits on you, what you do can still be seen as a crime. Don’t count on using the cop ‘entrapped’ you defence, as this is often difficult to prove. Talk to your lawyer if you think you were set up; • Make sure that anyone you have sex with is over the age of consent; • Protect yourself and others against the risk of HIV and other diseases; • Be aware of your surroundings and the possibility of being beaten or robbed; • If you cruise, let someone know your plans. Tell them where you’re

going, the person you are meeting and when you expect to be back. Or, if you cruise online, leave a note on your computer with this information; • If you are arrested, stay calm and always provide identification but don’t answer any questions without a lawyer. Also, try to remember as many details surrounding the arrest as you can and know your legal options.

Triangle Health Project’s Deputy-Director, Marlow Newman-Valentine, echoes this: “It is very important to know your environment, practise safe sex and never put yourself or others at risk. The golden rule should always be ‘safety first’.” M

If you require more info or want to report harassment, contact Triangle Health Project on 021 448 3812 (office hours) or their helpline on 021 712 6699 (seven days a week from 13h00 to 21h00. Callers can remain anonymous and calls are charged to the Project.) 020

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IMAGE GOOGLE IMAGES

CRUISING

‘Wat maak julle fokken moffies?

ASK M

M ASK M

BECOME A BETTER MAN

if you have a serious question about anything which you would like answered by an expert, email your question to us at advice@mmagazine.co.za and we’ll find an expert in the related field to answer it for you.

Most of my mates have either got or are talking about getting veneers. What are they and do I need them? EXPERT: Dr Zak Schabort from the Cosmetic and Dental Emporium, V&A Waterfront in Cape Town replies:

Veneers are like very thin porcelain ‘nails’ that cover your teeth, and essentially enhance their appearance. It is often called for when people want a typical ‘Hollywood smile’. The porcelain caps vary in size, colour and shape (decided upon after some thorough modelling techniques and a few visits to your dentist) and usually the six upper front teeth are done, the caps being bonded to your teeth. Veneers aren’t a good idea for anyone with bad oral hygiene, since just like teeth they also need to be looked after. If you grind your teeth, veneers are also not an option. They are usually done for cosmetic purposes, although they are also indicated as treatment for a number of dental issues, including broken and chipped teeth, discoloured teeth and also to close spaces between teeth. Most men opt for the Champagne treatment – a smile makeover with Da Vinci veneers which can cost between R24 000 and R35 000 depending on the broadness of your smile.

These days not everyone has the supposed luxury of large families and children to look after them in their golden years, not to mention other factors like the economy. How do I plan my retirement? EXPERT: Leila Falletisch, Social Worker (M.A. Social Work from Stellenbosch) replies:

The reality is the majority of people in retirement are dissatisfied. This might be because of poor planning, changing lifestyle trends, or personal reasons such as being lonely. My advice would be for you to think about your ideal retirement lifestyle. Spend a lot of time on this, then criticise your ideal by asking yourself what is feasible and possible, given your current personal status. Talk to your friends, exchange ideas, and be realistic. Look at significant people in your life, role models, and see what of their lives you can implement. When planning, keep the following in mind: • Maintain strong personal relationships, be they family, friendship or romantic. As you age it becomes more difficult to forge friendships, so nurture the meaningful ones while you can. • Remain active in meaningful activity. Work as long as you can. Long days filled with nothing but domestic chores are a quick recipe for depression, substance abuse, etc. in your golden years. Being responsible for something or someone often brings meaning to this time of your life. • Cultivate a culture of knowing when to ask for help. Independence doesn’t mean you must do everything yourself. Instead know when to ask for assistance. • Finances are usually the biggest worry. Plan as early as possible, and try to live as simply as possible now already – life is really about the simple things. • Physically and mentally you should always try and challenge yourself. Keep fit and mentally alert. • Lastly, consider living arrangements for when you retire: would you prefer your own house with yourself and or your partner? How about friends or family, a retirement village? Always keep finances, transport and services like clinics in mind.

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M COVER

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M COVER

Juanne-Pierre de Abreu had the enviable task of getting pharmacist and Mâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first cover boy, PW du Toit, to forget about dispensing medicine and rather dispense some of his insights around sexuality. PHOTOGRAPHED BY DAVID DE OLALDE.

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M COVER In my attempt to find out exactly what kind of person this smoulderingly hot Cape Town-based pharmacist is, I kicked off my interview by asking him a few of life’s more pertinent questions… What does PW stand for? That answer you won’t be getting from me. (laughs) Favourite position? Vanilla. Do you know what a ‘Cleveland steamer’ is? No. Indoor or outdoor sex? It doesn’t matter. Beach and sea or mountain cabin and fireplace? Cabin and fireplace. Speedo or nude? (Laughs) Board shorts.

From this we gather that PW is an old-school innocent who is sexual and, well, straight. Still, he is a hopeless romantic and lover of beautiful men - both straight and gay - and epitomizes the boy-next-door charm we all love so much. Is this extremely beautiful man single? I did not want to ruin my fantasy with a potentially destructive answer, so I never asked. A man can dream, right? So now for sex… What was your first time like? I can’t really remember. Well, not the event but the experience. I mean it was great. But it was my first time, so I guess for that reason it was absolutely fantastic. Is there anything that makes sex difficult for you? I am more of a top but I think being in a relationship is always about giving and receiving, trying to make your lover happy. What’s your type? I love men. Usually older guys. What’s one thing that would most improve your sex life? Nothing. It’s at a really healthy place if I do say so myself. What’s the sexiest text on your phone? Can I make dinner? 024

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M COVER How often do you have sex? As often as my body – and my lover – will allow me. Have you ever had sex with someone you met online? No.

Suddenly vanilla ice cream with vanilla sauce and a decorative vanilla pod is tempting my taste buds… time to calm them senses down a little with some insight... What one characteristic do all your exes share? They were all confident and driven. What one lesson has life taught you? To always be gracious and courteous. What is your take on the term MSM (men who have sex with men)? I am a person that hates boxing things, especially when it comes to people and trying to label them. If a broad term such as MSM is becoming more popular then I am totally for it. In your opinion, is it becoming more acceptable to define oneself as MSM instead of the usual ‘gay’, ‘bi’ or ‘straight’? Why must everything be so separated? Look, for example, at the way the younger and older guys in the gay community have become so separated. So a word that unanimously describes a whole bunch of men in one group is awesome. It brings them all together again. So you believe that a man can have sex with a man and still, in essence, be straight? It stresses some men out to think ‘I had sex with a man, does that make me gay?’ In actual fact it shouldn’t matter. Who cares? Just enjoy it. Whenever you try to classify something you will always find someone pulling away or being the odd one out. Because there’s some aspect of that particular group they don’t identify with, that they don’t want to associate with. So I do think that straight men can have sex with men and still be straight, yes. And I really believe they are straight. I think gay men just want all men to be gay - especially the good-looking ones.’

Some wonderful insights from a beautiful man. The point is to relax the lines between you and me, to be free and become more of a ‘we’ in our relationships, communities and society. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M MAN-TO-MAN cause he is not gay. He is not a homophobe either. Neither is he interested in a relationship with either sex. He is just a man who likes to suck dick and chooses not to identify as straight, bi or gay. Did the term MSM make sense to him? Could he identify with this label? He of course found the idea of labelling a man that so clearly does not want to be labelled very ironic. This got me thinking about a dream of a man I met a few years back who told me that he was a gay-for-pay porn star: a straight man that rogers other men, albeit in front of cameras and onlookers. He gets it hard, goes at a man like a jackhammer for hours and goes home. He was still single at the time because he thought a woman would never understand what he did, or at least the kind of woman that he would like, wouldn’t understand. My assumptions about sexual activity and sexual definition were in fact misplaced. If the youth is, as it appears, moving away from identifying themselves as gay, are we all moving towards a new age of enlightenment? And if so, is it even cool to be gay anymore?

For an increasing amount of younger men who have sex with men, the idea of labelling themselves as gay is both limiting and passé. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu looks into this seemingly fashionable phenomenon to find out what makes not-so-gay men do things that are kind of, well, gay.

STYLING NAME SURNAME

he idea of two men jacking off and cumming together seems a little, well, gay, doesn’t it? And surely a man into rear-ending another is gay? For more and more particularly younger men, however, indulging in a bit of slap and tickle with members of their own sex is no reason for them to be bogged down with the tedium of having to label themselves ‘gay’. Men who engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex are labelled MSM, regardless of how they orientate themselves sexually. The term was created in the nineties by epidemiologists in order to study the spread of disease among men who have sex with men. Given its ever-increasing prevalence in discussions around male sexuality, would it be too bold a statement to say that this term is fast gaining ground and becoming an acceptable, if not fashionable, way of identifying oneself? And how exactly would an idea like this translate to a person with clear-cut ideas around self-definition? In my early twenties I preferred having sex with married men and did so regularly. My reasoning was two-fold: I assumed that, firstly, they would be free of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and, secondly, that I would be less likely to run into them at a club, bar or social gathering. It was particularly the latter reason that turned

me on. The married men I was sleeping with were doing it largely, I presume, because they just wanted a cock up their ass and probably figured that a young guy like me would be both discreet and less likely to infect them with a nasty STI or two. You see, the married men were not interested in kissing, touching or even sucking me off. His primary motive was getting a hard rod inside him. Of course, biologically speaking, all men have a prostate and the prostate feels nice when it is milked, which means that, in theory, every man should enjoy a little something-something up his butt. Would that, however, make him gay - or simply a man responding to a perfectly natural desire to have a physiological need fulfilled? Though the jury’s still out on this, what is certain is that along with increased civil liberties for the gay community came an unexpected (though entirely natural) development. While the older generation still relish the glory of having ‘achieved liberty’, there is a younger generation who, for the most part, do not see the need to harp on about ‘the plight of the homosexual’ anymore. The result is that they do not see the need for a ‘gay community’ let alone a tight-knit one - and oftentimes eschew the label ‘gay’. Perfectly representative of this zeitgeist is a man I hooked up with recently; a man who did not identify as gay but loved sucking cock. He is not out be-

‘Is it even cool to be gay

anymore? Or are we moving towards a new age of enlightenment?’ I can fully understand the moving away from labels in order to search for something that is authentic. I, for example, am a gay man who, despite preferring emotional and sexual relationships with men, occasionally ‘bumps uglies’ with women. Does this mean anything to me? No. Maybe I am an MSWO – Man who has Sex with Women Occasionally. Is this rare? Probably. More importantly though: would it ever be seen in the same light as a straight man who has sex with men? The intricacies involved in labelling people gay, straight or bisexual seem rather perplexing; daunting even. Clearly the lines of who we are, when it comes to orientation, are clearer to some than to others. However there is a large grey area that demands attention - and not just for attention’s sake. Negotiating these intricacies would not only shed more light on the MSM world and its motivations but also on the complexities of human sexuality. For now though, it seems as though boys will indeed be boys – we do what we want… or, at least, who we want. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M PERSONALITY

BRINGING SEXY BACK... TO POLITICS If you think every politician is stuffy and boring, think again. This one is sexy, passionate, and he’s been voted Mr. Gay SA. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu caught up with Lance Weyer to give him our vote.

What was the best experience of the competition? Competing for the title of Mr. Gay South Africa has allowed me to meet many new people from the LGBT community, and helped me to better understand LGBT South Africans and their plight. I hope to use this network to further the LGBT cause in South Africa. How has winning the title of Mr. Gay South Africa affected the community you live in? To date I have only received positive comments from the community of East London. I have also received messages from gay youth across the Eastern Cape who appreciated the level of awareness that winning the title created, which is wonderful. Who gave you confidence to enter the competition and supported you through it? My wonderful fiancé has been my rock through all of this, for which I am extremely thankful. My friends and members of the DA have also shown tremendous support. What do you hope the Mr. Gay South Africa title will help you achieve? South Africa is widely regarded as having the most progressive constitution in the world, with a Bill of Rights second to none. This legislation has helped bring about 028

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tolerance towards the LGBT community. I’d like to see this tolerance turned into acceptance and for South Africans to learn from and appreciate each other beyond sexual orientation. If you could do anything for South Africa, what would it be? I’d like to put South Africa on the world map as a place where ALL are welcome, regardless of gender, race, culture, language, disability, religion or sexual orientation. We can only have a truly successful country if we support and appreciate all the groups within this rainbow nation. I would like to see education in this sphere continue, because the goal of a society that is free from all forms of discrimination has still not been realised. What advice would you give to people dealing with the issue of coming out? Speak to those that have been there! There are many groups that offer free counseling and guidance. Each case is different, however I think most people will tell you that even though coming out is one of the hardest things you will ever do, it is also the most liberating. How would you react to homophobia? Homophobic remarks are often very hurtful, so it’s important not to allow our emotions to get in the way of sound judgment. I’m aware that most homophobic people won’t listen to reason because they’re so brainwashed by society and religion, however one should use these opportunities to educate them. For most homophobic remarks, there is usually a sound rebuttal. If you could commend the gay community for something, what would it be? Perseverance and bravery. There is a fantastic exhibit on LGBT activism during the apartheid era at the Apartheid Museum in Johannesburg – a must- see! Is there anything you would critisise the gay community for? The South African gay community in particular seems to be quite apathetic towards activism because we have so many rights afforded to us by law. Unlike other countries where there are still equal rights to fight for, like marriage, we don’t have many. Do you think there’s a gap between today’s youth, who have the freedom to express their sexuality,

and the previous generation who fought for it? Yes. I don’t believe that today’s youth fully understand the hardships that LGBT people faced in apartheid South Africa. I would encourage young people to take the time to listen to older people’s stories as they are often very interesting, if not shocking. If you could change one thing about South Africa, what would it be? Poverty. Poverty affects us all, gay or straight, and we need to break its cycle in South Africa. The ability of South Africans born into poverty to use their talents and seize opportunities is compromised from birth, and continues at every stage of their lives. Poverty is an assault on dignity. It causes hunger and ill health. It fosters ignorance and fuels drug addiction and alcohol abuse. It generates despair. In short, poverty robs people of the chance to follow their dreams and lead valuable lives. What are you reading at the moment? I’ve just read Secrets Make You Sick by Trevor Kleinhans. It gives the reader a glimpse into the life and struggle of a gay man growing up during apartheid. I’m busy with God Is Not Christian by Desmond Tutu now. His chapter titled ‘All, All Are God’s Children: On Including Gays and Lesbians in the Church and Society’ is a testament to this great man! As a DA leader, would you say that the party has the LGBT community’s best interests at heart? One of the reasons I joined the DA is my respect and appreciation for their acceptance of LGBT people. I know many gay councilors and members of parliament, all of whom have been supported by the party and were never hindered when they stood up for a gay cause. I don’t want to turn Mr. Gay South Africa into a political platform, but my personal view is that the DA is the best home for LGBT people in SA. How will you separate your affiliation with the DA, from your role as a representative of the LGBT community, whose political affiliations include rival parties? I respect everyone’s political affiliation. A successful democracy needs vibrant political debate to thrive. Just because one is not a member of the same party as myself; that does not mean that I cannot represent their interests. M

M A SLICE OF PIE

Which way up?

The ‘are you top or bottom?’ question is one that we get asked at least once. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu reckons that by looking at ourselves in this way we are limiting ourselves and our pleasure.

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n our community one is always faced with the inevitable question: ‘Are you a top or a bottom?’ This question always puzzles me. How do I know, off the bat, that I want to commit to a position with a particular man when I have not even removed any of my clothes yet? So I always reply: ‘What do you think I am?’ From there it is about gauging their responses. Because, in man-on-man world, it appears you can only be one or the other – never both. So are we supposed to believe that, as sexual men, we can be defined so definitively along the lines of giver or taker? Also, who is really the giver and who is the taker? Some guys believe that a bottom is more effeminate and that a top would in turn be more masculine, thereby taking on the roles of male and female. But would the idea of passive and active not play a part in determining those differences too? I mean, a top that enjoys lying on his back really does not seem like he is giving anything more than a hard rod. Similarly, I personally find something really off-putting about a feminine man wanting to fuck me. Where do we draw the line of what we picture to be a ‘top’ and a ‘bottom’, and what do they actually look like in reality? It is not to say that we are women because we enjoy a good panelling. Or are we? Is this what the whole taboo behind ass-sex is all about? And how accurate is final opinion on this? A man's preference for topping or bottoming is directly related to what they experience more pleasure from doing, not necessarily in the person they are outside of the bedroom. Do we judge others by what they like in the bedroom? When hooking up with a stranger, does what transpires that night, really give you an indication of who the man is that you are actually hooking up with? I think not. There are layers to being closeted, and I believe a preference is one that we all hide in the cupboards, especially the bottoms. Is a preference, during sex, any

indication of who we are as men? And is a sexual persona in the bedroom a clear reflection of who we are in a work environment? The best way to find out if you really are a top or a bottom is not to assess who you are in life but to figure out what feels good, through experimenting with your partner on both sides of the spectrum. Don't go into sex with preconceived notions of what is supposed to happen or what each one is supposed to be doing. If the atmosphere is calm and relaxed, both of you will soon enough find your natural preference. But all this begs the question: Can we not have the best of both worlds? Is flipflopping not allowed? Won’t sex last longer if we keep changing it up between top and bottom, passive and active? And most importantly, where exactly can I find one of these guys?

All this begs the question:

Can we not have

the best of

both worlds?

Is flip-flopping not

allowed?

In my personal experience, if you have never bottomed you won't really know how to please me - as a bottom because you don't know what you are doing. And similarly, if you have never topped you won't be able to please me - as a top - because you would not really know what to do. In order to get a clear perspective on what to do as a top or bottom try experiencing what a top or bottom would experience; what they would need to do - and feel - to make it an all-round great experience for both parties involved. When two men are interested in getting involved with one another, it is often difficult to determine whether there is sexual compatibility before getting to the bedroom – or toilet cubicle, depending on how you roll. So would sexual incompatibility be a reason not to at least give a relationship a chance? Is this why we

ask: top or bottom? I mean, we can have great sexual compatibility with a man we don’t want a relationship with, but can it be done the other way around? Is a great relationship for two tops possible? Personally, I don’t think there any absolutes when it comes to a single person’s preference during sex. Open your mind and your body to experience all there is to experience when it comes to the glorious act of lovemaking and you will be surprised about what actually feels good; what feels right. You will want to recreate the experience for years to come - guaranteed. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M CLUBBING

MURDER

ON THE DAN

s somewhat of a new ‘cummer’ to the Cape Town club scene, I was met with many negative responses about the state of clubs in the Village, but no one could give me any suggestions on how to improve or turn them around. Complaints ranged from tired music, same old faces and rehashed decorations, to that of expensive drinks, rude bouncers/bartenders and dirty facilities. It all reeked of prejudice, so I stepped out with my little travelling martini and Dictaphone to scout the scene and discover the truth for myself.

Early hour drinking… To begin with, I made a pass at the cruising bar around the corner from the clubs. Amsterdam Action Bar (10 Cobern Street, De Waterkant, Cape Town) has a certain dated feel to it, as if it’s stood the test of time. Stepping into the space you are met with men. Real men. Husky, burly, strong men, who quite casually stand around chatting to each other. I wondered, ‘Do these guys know each other?’ Men always complain about the difficulty of meeting other men, but in this bar, I hardly felt like that preconceived notion was true. Was I being too observant? Did I need to test that notion? And what hap032

Mmagazine.co.za

pens when/ if I do start up a conversation? Where will it lead, and would it lead to more? I found that it wasn’t at all difficult to talk to men in Amsterdam. And the atmosphere was rather jovial considering it looks like a leather bar. It wasn’t long before a patron even gave me a guided tour. And to my surprise, there’s an upstairs section fitted with its own little bar and terrace. For some reason I always carry a flame for roof terraces. What happened upstairs? Well I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t smoke, so while I was puffing away, the barman, who was decked out in leather gear, caught me. Thirty seconds later I was bending – quite far down might I just add – to receive my beating for breaking the rule. Part of me was mortified! I hardly felt like the appropriate candidate for a spanking, but by the end, admittedly, my nipples were hard. All in the name of research? Or in the spirit of my surroundings? I was somewhat mollified when I looked up at the audience that had gathered to watch me, and I suddenly realised I had enjoyed the spanking, and left with a little giggle.

Somewhere in between… Around the corner we are met with three options: Bronx (22 Somerset Street, Green Point, Cape Town), Crew (30 Napier Street, De Waterkant, Cape Town,) and the new Switch (28 Napier Street, De Waterkant, Cape Town) – all side by side. The decor in Crew is pretty cool, with an upstairs level decked out in black and red, patterned wallpaper, and streaming couches along the wall with very high backs. If it weren’t for the fact that the club is a fan of old-fashioned, epilepsyunfriendly lights with the lack of LED, and speakers that sound like they were taken from the bedroom of a 16-year-old kid who had just started learning the magic of disc jockeying, also an actual DJ who showed more apathy for playing music than any other DJ I have ever seen, I

would really recommend the spot. Not to mention that I brushed up against a condom on the couch. I was so wrapped up in disbelief that I couldn’t contain my laughter nor could I bear to look if it was used or not. I wondered if I was having a truly great clubbing experience, or if I was mildly entertained by the manageable faux pas that could easily be rectified? And who is missing the point, them or me? The tight space and low roof screams for another shirtless Heaven to take hold of us, but alas, those days seem few and far between. What has the potential to be super is left swaying gently from side to side like a cradle of mediocrity. Switch, however, seems to be moving towards the age of enlightenment in terms of rigging great sound correctly. The DJ booth is elevated smoothly above the dance floor on a mezzanine level, allowing the entire space to be used. The music was fresh and not just a projectile regurgitation of cheesy, badly remixed commercial hits. I tend to enjoy music that I haven’t heard before; it excites me more, as if the DJ went out of his way to find some amazing, unheard of beats to captivate his audience with. It takes the idea of a DJ from a human jukebox, to an entertainer. But I have a funny suspicion that soon the venue, too, will be playing rehashed remixes. Bronx, bless me Father for I have sinned – I cannot bring myself to even drink there, not for fun and not for research. Even with the renovations I still can’t find the will to have a drink there...I think it has something to do with WN good O D D E old-fashioned, first year, 101 of ergonomS CLO ics – it’s the odd positioning and design of the ‘workplace’. The dance floor is pasted in a corner and hugs an odd bar and it makes for a funny flow of energy. Once Switch has switched off and Crew has closed, it’s time to creep off into the shadows. By passing the bar of Bronx, one makes your way upstairs into Navigaytion. The sound is rigged to perfection - the dance floor is drowned in

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M Magazine has recently received some negative comments about the state of our gay clubs and bars in Cape Town. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu takes to the dance floor to find out if he’s the only gay in the village who wonders what the fuss is all about.

M CLUBBING

NCE FLOOR music, bass blaring from under the platform, yet the sound at the bar remains at a fairly comfortable enough level to have a conversation. This is definitely hitting the nail on the proverbial head. DJs Arie and Dawid are equally equipped with the knowledge of where to take a late night in terms of progressive house. N Dark, often sexy, and full of bounce, D DOW these entertainers CLOSE will amuse you if you give them the chance. The only issue is the smoke machine. The idea behind any smoke effect is similar to that of Michael Jackson’s music video, Thriller, where fog rolls across your feet and rises to create a haze. In a club, that haze is supposed to be a sexy one, unless you have the smoke machine positioned two metres above the DJ box and the smoke just dissipates over everyone’s head, and the only reason you know there is a smoke machine is because of the sound it makes while spewing out the pointless fog.

And after partying…

There are other venues to consider if you want to paint the town pink. ‘M’ Magazine presents a few gay-friendly options: Hemisphere (31st floor, ABSA Building, Riebeek Street, Cape Town): It’s a soup mix of sexy models, and the feeling is that the concept of ‘queer’ and ‘model’ accurately describes the patrons, but this isn’t always the case. Maybe here, ‘camp’ and ‘models’ are a better choice? Decodance (120B Main Road, Sea Point, Cape Town): Going all out gay disco on Wednesday nights. Expect an older crowd where boys under 25 are not allowed to enter unless accompanied by their ‘daddies’. Trinity (15 Bennett Street, De Waterkant, Cape Town): Gay friendly or just gay tolerant? This establishment seems open minded enough, but in the end it still feels like straight hell.

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Coming down or mellowing out all depends on the kind of people we are and what we choose to ‘do’ when we club. Either way we all yearn for a place to go in order to stop the ringing in our ears, and for our legs to regain normality after standing in front of a speaker, banging away like a toddler that has just found the groove in his legs for the first time. Is there such a place? The HotHouse? (18

Jarvis Street, De Waterkant, Cape Town) It’s intended for this purpose but let’s face it, what’s left is a really beautiful bar (a bright and charming fish tank to backdrop the bar) with a seedy back room, jizz-covered floors, and latex flung about in corners like confetti. Is this the place you’d go to ‘relax’? Is the establishment to blame? And is it as simple as bringing in DJs that will make it feel like a chillout spot? Let’s assume that the establishment is trying to pull it together, the fact is, it’s still a playground, and a playground will always have naughty children on it. All in all, as residents of Cape Town, we really own this space. We have the power to turn the aforementioned places into exactly what we want. A sort of passive approach to negativity is never helpful, and it often allows any old outsider to come in and reshape the club into something that they in turn are used to or expect. Is Cape Town really so fickle that we cannot give our clubs a vibe that leaves them open to versatility? In a city where beautiful men buzz around like mosquitoes over a warm lake, where we ask for a name only after ‘cumming’, and where ‘Knock, knock, knocking on heaven’s door’ is more about a good old-fashioned reach around pounding, than it is about passion, we are left wondering …Who is controlling it all? Who deserves some praise and who should be punished? M

Welcoming the Family

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M PARTY SCENE

RESPONSIBLE PnP

EDITORIA

A D V IS O R Y

PnP is a controversial reality on the gay party scene. If you are going to have sex under the influence of recreational drugs, at least do so responsibly, says Glenn de Swardt

Here are some suggestions for a responsible PnP session:

THE CONDONE E DOES NOT IN THE M MAGAZIN AL SUBSTANCES NT ILME USE OF ILLEG SEXUAL FULF PURSUIT OF

n Straightville the acronym PnP is invariably associated with a shopping list and stocking up on fresh fruit and vegetables or no-namebrand two-ply. However, PnP has acquired a more sinister meaning in Gayville; in international gay parlance, PnP has become the acronym for Party ‘n Play. Simply put, PnP is about bonking while under the influence of recreational drugs. Previously PnP referred specifically to playing while under the influence of crystal methamphetamine, also known as crystal, meth or tik, or as tina by many American gay guys. This highly addictive drug is associated with a marked sense of well-being and a significantly increased sex drive, culminating in marathon sessions of uninhibited and often bareback (without condoms) sex. Nowadays the term PnP includes any mind-altering drug used during sex, including khat, but excluding alcohol. In South Africa countless gay men use recreational drugs for sexual purposes, and for many, using drugs and having sex have become synonymous. Besides the reality that some men have become incapable of having sex without drugs, the association between the two clearly plays a very significant role in the HIV epidemic within our community. This extends beyond new HIV infections; many guys on HIV treatment don’t take their ARVs when they indulge in PnP, which results in developing a resistance to their treatment. In addition, their viral load isn’t suppressed, and they may continue to infect others with HIV, while exposing themselves to STIs such as syphilis or gonorrhoea. We can’t simply tell gay men to stop being irresponsible and to stop using drugs. The problem is far too complex to simply go away. Instead we need more focused, harm reduction campaigns, to mitigate the substantial physical and

mental health damage caused by PnP. Those who don’t use recreational substances obviously need to be supported in their stance in order to counter the significant peer pressures they may be exposed to. Guys who are already using party drugs need to be encouraged to limit their intake, to avoid mixing various drugs, and to avoid injecting drugs. The guys who are already injecting, need information on harm reduction related to this behaviour, such as the high risks of hepatitis C from shared needles. We’re clearly dealing with complex dynamics related to dependence and addiction, and it is imperative that anyone using drugs be encouraged to come clean or to undergo drug-related counselling or even rehab.

Health4Men’s Cape Town clinic (the Ivan Toms Centre for Men’s Health), in partnership with Dutch organisation, Mainline, and sponsored by Aids Fonds, is initiating a harm-reduction programme addressing PnP and drug use in general, among gay men. This includes extending the clinic’s already functional needle and syringe-exchange programme, a large-scale educational campaign, offering vaccinations against hepatitis,

and referral to appropriate gay-friendly resources. Call the clinic on 021 447 2844 or visit h4m.mobi on your cell phone for more info. Other Health4Men clinics that provide free sexual health services to men who have sex with men, are located in Soweto (011 989 9865) and Pretoria (once per week at OUT, 012 430 3272). Glenn de Swardt can be contacted on glenn@health4men.co.za or on 021 421 6127.

The bottom line is

quite simply,

that even if you do indulge

in recreational drugs,

this is no excuse

for being

irresponsible

regarding your

sexual health.

The bottom line is quite simply, that even if you do indulge in recreational drugs, this is no excuse for being irresponsible regarding your sexual health. Using drugs is not a mitigating factor for men to have high-risk bareback sex. Plan your escapade in advance; have plenty of condoms lying around prominently as visual reminders to play responsibly, and latex-friendly lube. You can also explore using a female condom for anal sex. Talk to your partners before you get high in order to negotiate and agree on what will be, and won’t be acceptable, and stick to this plan. If you’re on ARV treatment set an alarm on your phone to remind you to take them. M

Before

• Get plenty of rest so that you have the stamina to get you through the partying and the comedown. • Stock up with: fluids to rehydrate you (Rehydrate is good), healthy foods to replen ish your body, and suckers or chewing gum if you’re taking ecstasy or amphetamines to ease the associated jaw clenching and teeth grinding. • Take multivitamins a day before and after partying. Eat well during the party period. • A starch heavy meal before you start gives you more slow-release energy to keep you going. Over a long party period try to eat, even if it’s just fruit or a smoothie. • Make sure you are stocked up with (on you and back at home) and have easy access to more condoms and water-based lube should you run out even if you’re not planning to fuck - at least you’ll be prepared if it happens. Latex gloves too, as the hot guy you pick up might want to get fisted. • If you take ARV’s make sure you have a sup- ply on you and/or with a close friend. If you miss a dose take it as soon as you remember then continue with your usual routine. Remember your pills by setting the alarm on your phone or asking a mate to remind you.

During

• Remember that both alcohol and chems dehydrate your body, so keep up your liquid intake, especially if you are dancing. If your piss gets darker or you’re not pissing very often it’s a sign that you need fluids. But too much water is dangerous. A half litre of non- alcoholic liquid every hour is recommended, such as pure fruit juice or mixed with lemonade. • If you are going to continue partying the following night try to get some rest or sleep in-between.

After

• Chill out with friends so that you can look after each other. • Drink plenty of non-alcoholic drinks to flush toxins from your body (especially your liver). • Eat a healthy snack or meal before going to bed. The following high protein foods have nutrients that help body recovery: meat, fish, soya beans, lentils, bananas, sunflower seeds, peanuts and almonds. Oranges, kiwi fruit, avocado, carrots, broccoli, spinach, salmon and tuna are all rich in vitamins. • If you take ARV’s pills set an alarm so you don’t sleep through and miss a dose. • Know where or how to get more support if needed – sometimes things happen during a night out that can seem fine at the time but on reflection may make you feel bad or depressed. M

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M CELEBRITY

After twenty-five years as one half of synth-pop group Erasure, Andy Bell is one of the world’s biggest gay icons. Godfrey Johnson caught up with him to discuss the duo’s new album, hip replacements and (kind of) being cruised by George Michael.

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PHOTOGRAPHY JUST MUSIC

STILL THE BELL OF THE BALL

M CELEBRITY

emories of spending time as a teenager in my darkened bedroom in the heart of suburban Cape Town, came rushing to me as I sat recently at my desk about to call Andy Bell, lead singer of synth-pop band Erasure. Growing up then, it was the slightly optimistic sounds of this two-piece outfit that set it apart from my other favoured groups. Although undoubtedly ‘pop’, it was pop with a twist; one that was fiercely intelligent - and unapologetically camp. Their new album, Tomorrow’s World, sees them continuing in this vein. The nine-track album, which has been hailed as their best since their self-titled 1995 release, is filled with great dance-pop gems (A Whole Lotta Love Run Riot, I Lose Myself, Just When I Thought It Was Ending and, my personal favourite, Then I Go Twisting) and is, as such, a fitting tribute to a career that has spanned 25 years and led to Bell becoming one of the world’s biggest gay icons. But where did it all start? In 1985, while working at a meat packing plant and after a few unsuccessful gigs, Bell responded to an ad placed in a UK music magazine, Melody Maker: Vince Clarke, the man behind the hugely successful band, Yazoo, which featured the voice of Alison Moyet, was looking to collaborate with a singer. The rest, as Bell says, ‘is history... it was a Kismet situation’. The duo have in their years working together produced a slew of hits, including Who Needs Love Like That and Sometimes, selling more than 20-million albums in the process. I immediately asked him what goes into creating a great song, album and career. The song writing process he describes as being ‘quite straightforward’: The two meet in a mutually agreed city (in this case it was London, New York as well as Clarke’s cabin studio in Maine) and, usually with the help of no more than a piano, a guitar and a few micro-cassettes,

create a melody and basic song structure. Bell would then work on lyrics while Clarke works on other aspects of the song. The key to their successful working relationship is, according to Bell, mutual trust and respect as well as their ability to communicate freely and easily with each other. Apart from his work with Erasure, the openly gay star, who also came out in 2004 as being HIV-positive, has recorded solo albums and taken part in numerous charity recordings, including the very popular cover of Cole Porter’s Too Darn Hot, that was included on the Red Hot and Blue album, recorded to raise funds for AIDS and HIV research. One of the more unusual projects he took on, however, saw Bell singing the role of Montresor in Peter Hammill and Judge Smith’s opera The Fall of the House of Usher. This however shouldn’t really come as a surprise given that he admits to drawing inspiration from many musical sources- everything from country to blues to Billie Holliday. Besides, who could forget the group’s ABBA period, where we saw both members kitted out in fantastic drag, singing some of our favourite ABBA songs? Although he never got to work with or even meet the members of ABBA, he describes them as ‘music royalty’. Bell confides that he was at the time, not fully prepared for the level of fame that came as a result of

‘The stigma is

unfounded between Lovetwo men is and beautiful there is

we did nothing wrong.

absolutely

no reason

to feel ashamed’.

those ABBA covers. So, while our recollections of this period in the group’s history might be filled with memories of high camp high-jinx, for Bell it was a time that was quite ‘surreal and overwhelming’; so overwhelming in fact, that it led to a desperate need for a break. ‘I asked God to please switch off the lights!’ he says. When I asked him the rather obvious question of whether life with HIV has, in any way impacted on his career, his answer was unequivocal: ‘It has not affected my career. I really don’t want people to feel bad about it. The stigma is unfounded - we did nothing wrong. Love between two men is beautiful and there is absolutely no reason to feel ashamed. There is help and modern medicine has certainly helped the face of things.’ He

describes the double hip replacement he underwent in 2004 (and was unrelated to his HIV status) as a ‘miracle’ and finds that meditation and exercise as well as a good sense of humour and a healthy dose of irony keep him going and vows to continue performing for as long as possible. So what are the chances of a South African tour? ‘Oh, we would love to,’ he says without hesitation. When I ask what his thoughts on the reality television series Pop Idols are, Bell replies: ‘I would have entered if it were around at the time. Although it’s a pity it is so formulaic, I do think that Simon (Cowell) is a genius.’ Would he, I ask, object to his life story being staged as a musical? ‘It would be great as long as it is told truthfully...and includes a pink feather boa,’ he says and mentions the Royal Vauxhall Tavern Show, The Dame Edna Experience, in which a former member of Bronski Beat does a brilliant impersonation of Bell. The RVT as the tavern is affectionately known, is a gay nightclub in South London with a reputation of hosting top drag artists since it opened in 1863, including regular Sunday night performances with Dame Edna Everage. Bell, who is currently single (after breaking up with long-term beau Paul Hickey a year ago), goes on to tell me a story about how, while outside the Kentish Town Post Office recently, a familiar looking man drove by and waved at him. Bell, thinking it was someone looking for something sweet to pick up, ignored it only to realize later that it was in fact George Michael. Kentish Town is a trendy area of North West London, and also boasts the Rio Naturist Club, very close to the Post Office. Before saying goodbye to rest before that night’s performance, he says: ‘By the way, I love the South African accent. Chat soon.’ As my conversation with this reluctant icon with a wicked sense of humour and gentlemanly disposition came to an end, I realised that it was Bell’s essence that came through in Erasure’s music all those years ago and saw me through those tortured teenage years. And it is his essence that today continues to set the music of Erasure apart from so many of its contemporaries. M

m editor's

choice

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M LOCAL

Passport to Success

They’ve had hit singles both locally and abroad; a recording contract with South Africa’s most exciting independent record label Just Music; an impressive debut album and an overwhelming demand for their presence at gigs and festivals across the country – Cape Town-based mix masters Pascal & Pearce are only just getting warmed up. Clinton Lowe meets the boys.

or Dave Pearce and Pascal Ellinas – two of the most likable, attractive guys in the trade – their chance meeting back in 2007 resulted in a swift rise to success in just three short years. It all began with their remix of a familiar videogame soundtrack – a seemingly crazy idea that came from a most unlikely source. The pair needed an opener for a party and as Dave amusingly recalls, his then roommate suggested a Mario Bros ringtone, ‘He was like, Dave, “What about this?” We ended up plugging his phone into my computer and taking it straight off there.’ The resulting track was Disko Biskit. It was a case of perfect timing, and with the backing of an inspired online record label owner, the song became a substantial international dance hit and garnered the boys plenty of local attention. ‘Somehow it made its way onto the Beat Board Top 100 and suddenly started climbing … next minute it was number 4 on the Electro charts. The whole thing was a complete shock to us!’ Drawing influence from acts like Swedish House Mafia, Wolfgang Gartner, Chris Lovely, Deadmau5 and Skrillex, Pascal & Pearce know what it takes to create impressive dance tracks from scratch. As Pascal jokes, other than ‘beat boards, beat boards and more beat boards’, their sources of inspiration are constantly changing. ‘I find that because we’ve got such a real appreciation for music, we’re always trying to embrace and infuse different styles and being a fan is inspirational in itself. Anytime I hear a classic beat from anyone, I get inspired to go make music,’ he adds. Dave agrees and explains how they try not to limit themselves, ‘You can take something very jazzy and turn it into an electro sound and suddenly it’s filling up your beat. No one can pinpoint where it’s coming from, but if it were not there you’d hear a big difference.’ P&P’s debut album, Passport, released in late 2011, has been extremely well received by mainstream radio and fans alike, and it’s no surprise either. It’s jam-packed with a slew of potential hits. The 90 minute double-disc of original tracks and remixes is the first of its kind from a local DJ. Not only is the album the culmination of a lifelong dream, it’s also a career highlight for the boys. ‘Walking into a music store and seeing your CD on the shelf – it’s difficult to explain the feeling,’ recalls Dave. Repeatedly described as the ‘David Guettas of the South African DJ scene’, the boys cement this when they unleash their talent of effortlessly merging perfect beats with the vocals of some of pop’s top acts like Locnville, Tamara Day, Jules Harding, Greg Carlin, Louise Carver and Yoav (who appears on the album’s title track – the follow-up single to the hit Paper Skies ft. Michelle Breeze). P&P’s incredible success also stems from their ability to connect with an ever-growing fan base – Dave and Pascal are the masters of their Twitter and Facebook accounts and personally reply to tweets and wall posts. ‘It’s a simple two seconds out of your life, just to say thanks.’ Regarding their gay fans, the boys were thrilled and honoured to headline at MCQP 2011, where they played on the electro dance floor for the first time. So, what can we expect from P&P in 2012? Dave hints that they’ve already ‘done enough remixes to fill up another album’ and are working hard on their live set. Although Pascal and Dave are keen on showcasing what they can do overseas for South Africa, their patience and drive to make quality tracks is rousing. As Pascal humbly puts it, ‘If it takes five years, or 10 years to get to that level then so be it. We’re just really happy and I find that we’re just trying to keep up with what we’ve been given, and that’s a lot!’ M

choice

Pascal & Pearce – Passport Pascal & Pearce, set out to impress fans and critics alike with their first album. The boys do just that and much more on Passport by effortlessly combining their intelligent electro-house beats with the accomplished vocals of talent like Locnville, Louise Carver, Greg Carlin, Tamara Dey and Jules Harding. The debut single, Paper Skies, featuring Michelle Breeze (of Fetish fame), is a soaring clubready track that stormed the airwaves and charts in the last months of 2011. You’d be forgiven for mistaking this excellent album for an import – it’s really that good! Next stop for Pascal & Pearce? Global dance floor domination! Clinton Lowe

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STYLING NAME SURNAME

m editor's

M REVIEWS

MUSIC

m editor's

choice

Rihanna – Talk That Talk Rihanna definitely walks the walk with latest offering Talk That Talk. Following just a year after 2010’s Loud!, the Barbadian pop princess shakes up the charts with an album chock-full of radio-ready, superbly produced singles. Undeniably catchy, dirty and danceable, the album’s heart beats to the sounds of R&B and dancepop, but also cleverly blends in elements of hip-hop, electro, trance, house and dubstep. Lyrically, Talk unashamedly speaks of sex, empowerment and love. Rihanna demands authority throughout as is shown on the title track, where she chants, ‘Cause you ain’t never had a woman like me… And you will never have another like me.’ The Calvin Harris-produced lead single, We Found Love, ruled airwaves and charts on both sides of the Atlantic for weeks in late 2011, breaking records in the process. The many highlights include euphoric Harrismixed dance track Where Have You Been, arresting ballads We All Want Love and Farewell, and sexually charged stompers, Talk That Talk, Cockiness (Love It) and Roc Me Out. Talk’s only shortfall is in its length. Yes, Riri was a busy girl while recording – Loud! promo, a huge world tour and collaborations with Nicki Minaj, Drake and Coldplay – but one does feel that just as you’re getting into the album, it’s over. That said, Talk That Talk reinforces Rihanna’s tremendous talent and relentless drive for world chart supremacy. Ms Fenty simply won’t settle for mediocrity and with an album full of could-be singles, we’re going to be talking about Talk for a long time to come. Clinton Lowe

Florence + The Machine – Ceremonials On the eagerly anticipated sequel to 2009’s Lungs, Florence Welch and her Machine deliver a confident, glorious second album. Ceremonials not only evades the dreaded ‘sophomore slump’, but builds on the praise gained by its predecessor to atmospheric levels. Welch’s dark, dreamy, often melodramatic vocals fuse perfectly with the organic, shimmering, and at times, anthemic sounds throughout. The album is a union of beautiful, cathedral-size chants (Shake It Out, No Light, No Light and All This And Heaven Too) and more restrained, elegantly crafted hymns (Heartlines, Breaking Down and Only If For A Night). The result is a record that captivates from start to finish. Clinton Lowe Björk – Biophilia Icelandic artist Björk has always been acclaimed for her deeply personal and sometimes peculiar lyrics, meticulous musical arrangements, and a beautiful, hypnotic voice. Biophilia can best be described as a musically-inspired science project for the singer-songwriter – she allows her imagination to run wild by fashioning a one-of-a-kind album, which couples 10 mesmerising tracks with an equal quantity of quirky multimedia applications. The second single (and highlight of the album), Virus, is a haunting track in which Bjork explores ‘fatal relationships’, and compares the human equivalent to the one between a virus and a cell. This is an album unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. Clinton Lowe SBTRKT Aaron Jerome, hereafter referred to as SBTRKT, is hitting all the right notes with his self-titled album even though he dabbles in a bit of everything. Combining some of 2011’s most popular underground beats with an appealing mix of soulful guest vocals, he shrewdly keeps an eye on the commercial dance scene, while still pleasing his garage and house fans. After some high-profile remixes in the UK, this album offers up his own eclectic take on the past two decades of dance sub-genres. It’s an overall top effort, but not enough to unseat the well-established UK dance royalty just yet. Clinton Lowe

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Daughtry – Break The Spell Excellent – buy the album. Today. Review over. Want more info? After dropping out at the number four position of American Idol season five, Chris Daughtry and his band achieved instant success with their debut album, which out sold the season’s winner. On this, their third album, they have grown in stature with a mature oldschool, hard rock sound, which is reminiscent of bands like Bon Jovi and Aerosmith. Having written all the songs on the album, there is a level of intimacy, passion and performance that is, frankly, exhilarating. It’s been a while since I’ve ramped up the volume on my stereo to shake the windows, scare the cat and deafen the neighbours. Werner Volschenk Tori Amos – Night of Hunters In an industry full of cheap tricks, profoundly bad lyrics, egocentric half talents, generic images and hugely unoriginal creative efforts, it is refreshing to know that there are still brave artists such as Tori Amos out there. Her latest offering is a magical journey into some of her worlds. This brilliant album features the artist, guest vocalists, strings, woodwinds, various keyboards and, of course, a Bösendoffer, which Ms Amos plays with extraordinary passion. It is a beautiful twenty-first century song cycle drawing inspiration from various composers such as Satie, Bach and Chopin. Night of Hunters is an imaginative and mesmerising musical offering. Godfrey Johnson

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Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows

Part 2 I’ve never bothered reading any of the Harry Potter books, but I have always enjoyed watching the films. And the final instalment in the HP saga does not disappoint. In fact it’s the best one in the franchise. The plot in a few words: in a spectacular battle of good vs evil, Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) takes on Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes). Enough said. The action and special effects are quite something, but such is the calibre of the direction, screenplay and cast, they are never overshadowed by them. For pop culture enthusiasts, part of the fascination is how much Harry, Hermione and Ron have grown up in front of our eyes (you might just want to watch the franchise again). And for the die-HRD HP freaks, there’s the disc of special features, including ‘When Harry Left Hogwarts’ and ‘The Women of Harry Potter’. Phenomenal. Richard Goller

FILM

We Need To Talk About Kevin

In this movie about the relationship which unfolds between a career-driven, adventurous and strong-willed woman who is given the ‘tedious task’ of raising a defiant little boy (Kevin) in desperate need of a mother’s love, Tilda Swinton delivers a hauntingly stellar performance. In his portrayal of the teenage son, Kevin, Ezra Miller too delivers an almost perfect performance. The same goes for Jasper Newell’s portrayal of the pre-adolescent Kevin. In both cases these young actors perfectly portray the character’s annoying habit of constantly prodding for a reaction – a habit which would later see him ‘getting what he deserves’. The film manages to be thoughtprovoking, captivating and, on occasion, depressing and aggravating. We Need to Talk about Kevin is a poignant piece of modernday, elegiac art that is well-crafted and, for this reason, deserving of the attentions of more attentive cinemagoers. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu

BOOKS Visual Century

south african art in context, 1907-2007 Any art lover worth their salt would do well to add this four-volume look at South African art history to their collection. It’s a ground-breaking publication in that it offers not only an in-depth look at SA art over the past 100 years from a post-apartheid perspective, but also looks at how socio-political events shaped – or were reflected in – these artworks. Commencing after the Anglo-Boer War in 1907 and ending in 2007, the period after the rise to power of the democratic movement, the respective volumes offer a comprehensive and engaging analysis of the works of seminal artists from Gerard Sekoto to William Kentridge. The sumptuous layout is complimented by insightful commentary. No surprise then that it has already been praised as ‘an indispensable benchmark text for the future study and appreciation of South African art’. Carl Collison

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dressed to kill

To qualify as a classic, a movie has to, firstly, be older than myself and, secondly, have set the tone for the time it was filmed in – making it a unique piece of art never to be recreated. One such film is undoubtedly director Brian de Palma’s Dressed to Kill (1980). Starring Michael Cain, Angie Dickinson, Keith Gordon and Nancy Allen, this erotic crime thriller revolves around the murder of housewife Katie Miller (Dickinson) and the investigation into the murder. Although the plot is similar to that of that other classic, the Alfred Hitchcock-directed Psycho (1960) with its murdered protagonist and latent transvestitism, what sets it apart is de Palma’s stylistic signatures: split screens, over-exposed lighting and extra slow pace - all of which drag us along through the mental mess of a madman. Juanne-Pierre de Abreu

j. EDGAR

J. Edgar is not one of Clint Eastwood’s best directorial efforts, but it still sheds some light on one of the most controversial figures of 20thcentury American politics. As director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation for almost 50 years, Hoover was the face of law enforcement and, depending on one’s politics, was feared, admired, reviled and revered in equal measure. He was also a closeted homosexual and this biopic portrays his chaste relationship with fellow agent, Clyde Tolson, with much sensitivity. Leonardo DiCaprio is his reliable, outstanding self in the title role and Armie Hammer is good as Tolson, but boy does this film drag on and the make-up effects are amateurish. No need to rush out and see this one on the big screen; it’s ideal for a DVD night-in. Michael Prince

ricky martin - me

Die-hard fans of Ricky Martin will enjoy this memoir, but don’t expect any grand revelations or juicy details about his sex life, as the Puerto Rican pop star has always been an intensely private man. In Me, Ricky recounts his early childhood memories, experiences in the boy band Menudo, the price of fame during the Livin’ la Vida Loca years, his struggles with his sexual identity, the liberation he felt on coming out, his relationship with his children, his travels to India and the founding of his People For Children humanitarian project. What is evident throughout this entertaining memoir is that Ricky is a very spiritual man and even with all the fame and success, he is still Mr Nice Guy. A light, engaging read. Michael Prince

DVD

M FYI

DUBSTEP 101 A youngster’s explanation So what’s this genre everyone’s yabbering on about? KD has some answers to your deepest questions.

So, what the hell is dubstep?

Dubstep is epic electronic dance music with some sick bass lines, drum patterns and the occasional vocals. It’s probably the latest teen music fad and it’s sweeping the world one drop at a time. The most essential and unique part to dubstep is the drops. The drop is usually placed at the beginning of the song and usually begins with a rising beat or tempo, a sudden and brief pause, and then some awesome bass and drums.

But isn’t it just drum ‘n bass repackaged?

You must be mad :P! Dubstep has a more ‘dark’ bassline and consists of less beats per minute and the ‘wobble bass’ and ‘bass drops’ which drum ‘n bass does not have. Basically dubstep is slower and drum ‘n bass is faster.

Ok, so who rocks in dubstep? Give us some names and essential tracks to look out for.

Nero, Skrillex, Caspa, Deadmau5, UKF Dubstep, Excision, Rusko, Chase and Status, and Skream. You’ll notice that many of these artists compose house, drum ‘n bass, and other electronic songs. Some albums to look out for are Welcome Reality by Nero, Skream by Skream, UKF Dubstep 2011 by UKF.

And what about all the different sub-genres of dubstep? Sounds very complicated. The dubstep sub-genres are filth, glitchhop, metal, dub and wobble dubstep. Honestly though, no one really cares about dubstep genres ... :P

Any compilation albums you would recommend?

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Ministry Of Sound: Addicted To Bass 2012. This triple-CD album has some off-the-chain tracks!

Oh, and the big question: is dubstep a fad, or is it here to stay, like house?

DUBSTEP SUPERSTAR Skrillex

Honestly I don’t care and I’m just here to enjoy dubstep while it lasts. Dubstep FTW (for the win)! M

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The highlight of the 2011 party circuit was definitely the 19th annual MCQP

MCQP started as a themed Costume Party event in 1994 to celebrate the birth of South Africa’s new constitution and its acknowledgement of gay rights. Since then the MCQP concept has grown to become aN international cultural phenomenon and has become what is CONSIDERED AS ‘Africa’s biggest queer bash’.

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M HEALTH

YOUR ULTIMATE 2012 HEALTH PLAN

Let’s forget for a minute about those oh-so-predictable resolutions to stop smoking and start going to gym. Most of us never stop to consider how beneficial having an actual health plan could be. Here Dr David van den Bergh provides us with a few practical - and easy - ideas on how to go about planning our health for the year ahead.

THE NAME GAME

There are many pharmaceutical companies bringing out the same drugs but under different retail names. It is imperative that you try and memorise the name(s) of any medication you may be using. Better yet, take it along with you on your next doctor’s visit.

ALWAYS BETTER (WITH) THE BIG SCREEN

Health screening involves examining and assessing you in order to anticipate and better prevent future diseases. Remember, you don’t have to ‘feel sick’ to have a specific disease. Through health screening, diseases can be diagnosed and monitored before complications set in.

LEARNING YOUR ABCs

Educating yourself around potential conditions, risk factors and available management options could go a long way towards ensuring a healthier you. Here are a few basic tips:

BLOOD PRESSURE AND PULSE RATE

Normal blood pressure is 120/80mmHg while a normal pulse rate is between 60-90 beats per minute. Blood pressure should ideally be measured on alternate days and if it is regularly higher than 140/90, could indicate high blood pressure. Measuring your pulse rate requires no special equipment, aside from a watch with a second hand or a digital timer. Here’s how: • Turn the palm side of your hand facing up. • Place the index and middle fingers of the opposite hand on the groove between your middle tendons and your outside bone about 2.5cm below the wrist. You should feel a throbbing. That’s your pulse. • Count the number of beats for 10 seconds and then multiply by six. That will give you your heartbeat rate for a minute. It is best to take your pulse upon rising in the morning or after sitting without activity for ten minutes.

DIABETES

The first symptom here is that one urinates more often than usual and is constantly thirsty. A specific blood lab test can provide a clear indicator as to what your sugar control has been over the past three-month period.

CHOLESTEROL

Having fasting bloods drawn and tested by your doctor is the best way of checking your cholesterol levels. A really effective way to increase your ‘good fats’ though is to eat more omega-rich foods such as salmon or by adding an omega-3 supplement such as Trimega to your diet. 046

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PROSTATE EXAM

This is usually a fear-inducing subject for any male but, just as females have to have regular pap smears, men too need to have their prostates examined. Many physicians recommend an exam every few years for men in their twenties and thirties. The frequency may increase to annual or biannual if there is a family history of prostate cancer.

HIV TESTING

The ideal here would be to get tested by your GP and wait for a lab result or to have it done at a lab itself. This way the results are far more accurate.

Is there anything else, Doctor? PILLS, PILLS, PILLS

There is great confusion about which multivitamin is the best. Opting for something that is comprehensive and contains essential multivitamins and minerals is, however, the key. It is also important to take your multivitamins with meals as vitamins A, D, E and K are fat-soluble and therefore need this for absorption. They should also be taken on a daily basis (and not just when you are feeling ill) in order for them to be truly effective.

THE EATING HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE (AND HEALTHY) PEOPLE

One way of cutting down on carbohydrates is to substitute the sugar you use in coffee or tea with sweetener and, if you have to have carbonated cold drinks, opt for those that have a ‘zero’ attached to their name. It is also advisable to add water to fruit juice. When it comes to food, be sensible - if it’s deep-fried in oil you know what you are eating is unhealthy. M Dr David van den Bergh is a Cape Townbased health professional. Contact him at: mediplain.drdavid@gmail.com

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IT’S A FAMILY AFFAIR

Looking into your family’s medical history is vital. Ask your biological parents and siblings about any diseases they have – or have had – as well as treatments for these.

M STATUS

The Testing Side IVAETIVE of Testing POSNIETG We all know that going for an HIV test is fraught with anxiety, but what exactly goes through your mind while you’re being tested? Charl Atyn hit the streets to find out. ‘During the pre-counselling session for my last test, the counsellor asked me what I would do if the test turned out positive. I was like “well, I was kind of hoping to catch a movie... It really just depends on what’s showing, I suppose.” She was not impressed.’

Smangaliso Khumalo, 33

advertising account manager

H illary Mwamba, 26 waiter

28 Christopher Steenkam p, writer

comedian & freelance

Hans-Ulrich Arndt, 35 fashion designer

Riaan Fourie, 24 marketing student

Openly Po sitive For many people the thought of being HIV-positive is no different from being given a death sentence. Here 34-yearold Jean-Claude Bazola shares with us how he turned being positive into a positive. ‘I came to South Africa in 2007 as homo050

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‘Whenever I go for a test I feel really alone and vulnerable – kind of exposed. I always wonder about what people would think and say if the test turned out positive so there is also a fear of being judged. I end up making deals with God, like, “I promise not to be so promiscuous and will always use a condom, just please, please let it come back negative” (laughs). Of course, when the results come back negative there a total sense of relief and I just want to get the hell out of there. I must say I sometimes wonder how, given my past, I came away unscathed.’

“I kind of catalogue all my sexual experiences as they go through my mind – usually starting with the ones where I played safe to the more risky ones. It really is the only time I take stock of all my sexual experiences... and that takes time (laughs).’

sexuality in the Democratic Republic of Congo, where I’m originally from, is illegal and I felt that this was the closest country where I could live freely. In 2008, after taking part in a study conducted by the Triangle Health Project, I discovered I was HIV-positive. Despite the positive test result I kept thinking ‘surely this is a mistake – I simply can’t be HIV-positive’. When a follow-up test some time later confirmed it, however, it really saddened me because I was dealing with so many other issues at the time – whether or not I had HIV was the last thing on my mind. Dealing with the knowledge that I was now HIV-positive was made easier by the fact that I had a friend who was also HIV-positive and his experiences, as well as the knowledge I had of the disease, made it easier for me not to see it as a death sentence and made me more confident in dealing with my status. I am very blessed in that, up until now I haven’t had any major symptoms. Once when I showed some minor symptoms, I

was very fortunate to be helped by the team at Health 4 Men who told me exactly how to deal with it. I am also taking very good care of myself through eating properly and stressing less about things. Although I don’t really have an exercise routine as such, there is one particular form of exercise that is really good for both body and mind (laughs). Having support is also very important. When I first found out I had very little in the way of support. Now, however, I have my very supportive mother and a dear friend whose support is truly invaluable. I honestly don’t know how I would cope without them. To people who are afraid of getting tested I would say that knowledge is power and that finding out earlier, rather than later, will help you so much more in better dealing with and managing the disease. Life is a true blessing and we need to do whatever we can to nurture and protect it.’ M

PHOTOGRAPHY CHARL ATYN

‘It’s a very emotional experience because it’s so potentially life-changing. I always switch between concern for what my friends would do and say if I was HIV-positive on the one hand and the relief of knowing for certain on the other. Still, whenever I get my results it’s a huge relief. It really is better to know what your status is because you’re in so much more control – whichever way the results go.’

‘I always am filled with sadness somehow. It’s very melancholic. I make mental notes to be more cautious with how I do things, even promising to cut out drinking and smoking – or to at least moderate it. The pre-test counselling sessions fuel the sadness because they always bring home the reality of possibly having to always take medication to manage the disease, making it kind of scary. When I get the results I often wonder why it is that I am not infected but count myself as very blessed.’

M FITNESS

FITNESS 101 FOR A HOT 2012 It’s that time of the year again when, for the umpteenth time, you make the resolution to finally achieve the feat of actually seeing your ‘Johnson’ while taking a leak and discovering that, yes, you too have those elusive muscles called abdominals. Where to start though? What to do? Where to go? Fear not - simply follow Fabien Nove-Josserand’s tried-and-tested (and oh-so-easy) tips. a light dinner (lean meat the size of your palm with some veggies you can hold in your hand) by no later than 7:30pm – and no food after that. All the while, drink lots of water (between two to three litres, ideally).

FOLLOW THE PROGRAMME

GET GOAL-ORIENTED

Start by finding a good enough reason to keep you on track way after the novelty of New Year’s resolutions has worn off. Make your goals achievable and measurable. Not doing this would be no different to driving your car blindfolded and expecting to arrive at your destination in one piece.

GET THE ‘OK’

Get to your doctor for clearance to exercise. There really is no need to drop dead after lifting five kilos because your heart couldn’t cope.

BE ENERGY EFFICIENT

Take the time to consider this universal law of physics. This will help you understand a lot about keeping fit: Energy does not disappear - it merely transforms itself. Food is energy. You eat food. If your body does not use food cleverly it doesn’t disappear, but is transformed into fat. So, basically, using up the energy that is put into the body results in no weight gain. By the same token, if you use up more energy than is put in, this would result in weight loss. You really don’t have to be an Einstein to make sense of it. Also, forget about counting calories as this is often complicated and could just confuse and discourage you.

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GO LIGHT

Eat small meals throughout the day, starting with breakfast. Then go on to have a snack at around 10am followed by a light lunch. A snack (a yogurt and an apple and not an entire box of cookies) at around 3pm should be followed with

The trick is moderation, otherwise known as balance, which of course calls for a regular gym programme. This need not take up more than four hours a week (hands up those who spend that in one evening in front of the TV - it’s really simply a matter of changing priorities). A simple programme would go as follows: On Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays do around 45 minutes of resistance or weight training. For example, work on your chest, shoulders and triceps on Monday and your back, biceps and legs on Wednesday. Repeat working on your chest, shoulders and triceps on Friday. The following week should then be spent on working your back, biceps and legs. Alternate the areas you work on every week. Get the picture?

MIX IT UP

Make sure to vary your exercises and do two different ones per muscle group. You can, for example, do four sets of a particular muscle group exercise before taking a one-minute breather and starting the next muscle group exercise. This way you can do six different chest exercises in one week. Why not lay a life-sized picture of a scantily-clad Mario Lopez on the floor and do push-ups on top of it? That should add some motivation and get your pecs pumped up in no time. There are many variations of push-ups so you’ll never get bored and if you fall out of love for Mario Lopez, you could always replace it with a picture of Hugh Jackman (or any other hunk you fancy, really).

GET INTENSE

On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays try between 20 and 30 minutes of highintensity cardiovascular exercises, such as running, bicycling, rowing, skipping rope, jumping, stepping, boxing, Tae-boxing or yoga. The choices here are endless

so find something you like (and which will make you sweat a bit) and don’t be scared of changing as often as you like.

DO THE LEGWORK

When you get to the leg section of the training, you’ll do three different exercises as there are three major muscle groups in the leg. Work the quadriceps with four sets and then the hamstrings with three sets and the do same for calves. And for goodness sake, don’t be afraid to increase the weight, especially if you want to develop your calves – those little buggers only respond to brute force. If you want results though, you’ll have to put up with feeling slightly unsteady and walking in crab-like sideways fashion. Put up with it though: have you ever seen those Muscle Marys parading at the gyms, all beautifully-developed upper bodies perilously perched on a pair of tooth-pick-like legs – total turn-off!

KEEP TRACK... AND HAVE FUN!

Make sure to track your progress, bit by bit. Remember: Rome wasn’t built in a day. Be patient and consistent but don’t beat yourself up if you’ve missed a workout or a meal – simply correct the trajectory and get back on track. Most importantly of all, though, is to enjoy the rush of endorphins that exercising releases in your brain. M

2012 CHECKLIST GET GOAL-ORIENTED GET THE ‘OK’ BE ENERGY EFFICIENT GO LIGHT FOLLOW THE PROGRAMME MIX IT UP GET INTENSE DO THE LEGWORK KEEP TRACK... AND HAVE FUN! FOR THE MODERN MAN

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From the perfect jacket and shirt, to pants and loafers, your wardrobe will love these style staples. PHOTOGRAPHED & STYLED BY BYROn L keulemans

BARE ESSENTIALS

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jacket markham shirt trenery BRIEFS calvin klein

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jacket country road tie blue collar white collar briefs dirk bikkeMbergS

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SUNGLASSES ray-ban foldup wayfarers

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LOAFERS (L-R) yacht shoe aldo , black lacoste loafer, brown loafer country road

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suit pants country road jeans guess belt woolworths

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jeans levis belt markham

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grey t and white t woolworths suit pants country road

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FRAGRANCES essenza and aqua di parma classic

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i-pod i-pod 16gig and iwatch strap

WALLET givenchY

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ASSISTANT TERI ROBBERTS MODELS jOVAN JACKSON, RICHARD BOLITER from boss models

SUNGLASSES ray-ban aviators

exclusively available at yde

www.yde.co.za

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THE BEACH BOYS

(AND THEIR GIRL)

SURFI N ’ R SA When the sun is out and the waves are just right, surfer dudes pack light and head for the beach. And with a babe in tow, who knows how the day will end… PHOTOGRAPHED & STYLED BY DAVID DE OLALDE

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SWIMWEAR & ACCESSORIES - SURF ZONE - 021 426 4226

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MODELS ALEX INGGS, CALVYN WRIGHT, RHETT SINNEMA, JASON SELBY & CHELSEA LE ROUX - www.bossmodels.co.za SWIMWEAR & WETSUITS SURF ZONE: SHOP 51, EDEN ON THE BAY 021 426 4226 - www.surfzone.co.za SURFBOARDS GERAGHTY SHAPES - Dean Geraghty 082 338 2881 - www.geraghtyshapes.com VINTAGE CAR MOTOSTARS 021 423 1800 - www.motostars.co.za 066

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M BEACH BOYS

it’s all about

the package! packing the perfect beach bag

And while you’re on the beach, here are some pointers:

Slip, slop, slap. That’s slip on a T-shirt, slop on some sunscreen (or get someone else to do it for you!) and slap on a hat. Being painful lobster red’s just doesn’t suit anyone. Pack some decent eyewear. No, not so you can look glamorous and alluring although that does have its advantages. Animal print swimwear, anything that glo’s or anything with a built-in butt plug is out! Anything like those seen on Daniel Craig in Casino Royale are in, just remember you don’t wanna be wearing exactly the same as everone else, so look for something unique. Check out before you go to the beach that your new cossie is/isn’t see-through before you get in the water. If it is, then at least you know and can work the crowd accordingly. Subtly test the water temperature before you go diving straight in trying to look all macho. Running from the water with an ear-piercing howl is not a butch look.

don’t

Pack that sarong. Pack some shorts like everyone else for Godsake - besides, that whole ethnic look is so over!

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beach bag checklist The bag iPod Sunscreen Reading material Sunglasses Facewipes Lip balm Hat Stainless steel water bottle Swimsuit Sandals Moisturiser Beach towel Snacks Cameraphone

Decide to take a run or do press-ups or situps on the beach. If you haven’t been to the gym for the past six months buffing up for summer, then a half-hearted attempt now will only get you derisory looks and comments behind your back, which will all, no doubt, be true. Play Frisbee, bat and ball or catch if you throw like a girl or if you squeal like a big old queen if anything comes flying towards you faster than a double gin and tonic at happy hour. If you’re at Sandy Bay then tanning naked is fine, doing star jumps or playing beach volleyball isn’t. It might be big, but it isn’t clever! Try swimming butterfly to impress the hordes of people lounging on the shore. If, as is more than likely, you can’t do it properly you’ll just look like a tosser. If you can do it properly you’ll just look like a tosser. Spot the dilemma? M

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WAYS TO

Getting better head

With so many hair types, there is no one cure-all solution for those irritating bad quaff days. Brian Oosthuizen provides some easy-to-follow tips on how to get the most out of your hair, proving that maintaining healthy hair need not feel as though it is rocket science.

Thinning or fine hair

Don’t try compensating for thinning hair it with extra length, guys. Thin hair looks a lot fuller when it is cut shorter. Maintain the look through frequent cuts, possibly every three to four weeks. If you are balding and have fine hair, try keeping it short around the balding area, blending it into the rest of your hair - it just looks so much neater. Shaving is also an option for those of you whose hairline went that extra mile backwards. Frequent mistakes Thick and heavy-residue products such as thick waxes and gels should always be avoided as these only gather the thin hair and expose much more of the scalp, taking 10 hairs and making it look like one. And this, as I’m sure you would agree, is never a good look on anyone. Investing in thickening products such as shampoos or sprays for a fuller, non-shinny look is a must.

Dry hair

Dry hair is actually very simple to maintain. Maintenance here does, however, involve more than simply slapping on some shampoo, but rather through remembering to condition, condition, condition. This is all it really wants especially as conditioners are vital not only for healthier hair but also a healthy scalp. Stick to using only products that add softening agents to your hair. Regular haircuts will also remove dead ends and will keep you and your hair shaft a lot happier. Frequent mistakes Try to avoid having boiling hot showers as these only strip hair of its natural oils. You should also wash your hair a maximum of twice or thrice a week, as this will prevent any further loss of natural oils.

Curly hair

Curly hair can be a lot of fun but only when you know what to do with it. After washing, remove most of the moisture by simply blotting your hair and then just let it be, letting it dry naturally whenever possible. The way you dry curly hair will affect the way it looks for the rest of the day. Good moisturizers will add the right amount of moisture to your curls, which will keep it from going over to the ‘wild side’. A good serum can also go a long way and will help maintain your beautiful curls all day. Frequent mistakes When drying curly hair, blot it instead of vigorously rubbing it and turning it into frizz. By blotting it you restore the curl without shocking your hair shaft. Also, try avoiding brushing your hair when it is wet. Instead, use a wide comb to loosen your curls or, even better, use your fingers.

Dandruff

So many guys are affected by dandruff. When washing, try to focus on cleaning your scalp more by rubbing gently with the tips of your fingers. Dandruff can be tricky, but by spending a bit more time on rinsing your hair thoroughly after washing you will be able to keep your scalp clean and moisturized. You could even leave the shampoo on for five to 10 minutes and wash again when needed. Invest in a good 2-in-1 shampoo for easy maintenance in the mornings. Frequent mistakes Not rinsing properly after washing won’t help you much. After washing, make sure that you’ve rinsed thoroughly and that all shampoo and/or conditioner is rinsed off. Also, try not to wear a black shirt when you know your scalp is flaking.

Oily hair

Frequent mistakes Avoid using heavy oil-based products as these cause more of a greasy build-up. Oily hair is best in its natural form so go easy on the styling aids and, when you do, use ones that are non-greasy. Keep in mind that for oily hair less is definitely more when it comes to styling aids. M

Brian Oosthuizen is the owner of Blokes Hair, Unit 108, The Foundry, Green Point, Cape Town. Contact Brian at BRIAN@blokeshair.com 068

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Oily hair really needs less exposure to heat, as this will prevent more oil from forming. Brushing and combing should also be kept at a minimum, as this only produces more unwanted oil. Invest in products made especially for oily hair, as this will remove most of the oil. Daily washing is ideal for clean hair and a healthier scalp.

M GROOMING

finding your scent WEARING THE RIGHT FRAGRANCE CAN INSPIRE LOVE, HELP ONE APPEAR MORE CONFIDENT OR EVEN AID IN SECURING A JOB OR JOB INTERVIEW. IT IS ALSO THE FASTEST AND SIMPLEST WAY TO LET YOUR PERSONALITY SPEAK WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. THE FOLLOWING GUIDELINES WILL HELP. The Personality Factor

This is the most important factor to consider in choosing the right fragrance. Truly contemplate your personality traits and characteristics. Causally confident? Dangerously seductive? The graceful gentleman? Keep these traits in mind when choosing a fragrance and you will begin to realize how powerful the link is between scent and personality.

take your lifestyle into account

You also have to consider your lifestyle to narrow down your options as you try to find your signature scent. For example, do you prefer spicy foods? Do you consume large amounts of alcohol regularly or do you smoke? What you ingest comes to the surface of your skin in perspiration, blending with the cologne you wear and adds to the fragrance that swirls around you.

FIGURE OUT YOUR SKIN TYPE

A step in knowing how to find your signature scent is to understand what type of skin you have - whether it’s oily or dry.

OILY SKIN TONES

Just as body hair keeps the scent of cologne close to you, oily skin enhances and amplifies your cologne. Moist and oily skin responds best to a lighter citrus-based scent because these elements help to balance out the stronger natural odours that your skin is secreting. Stay with airy or “summertime” scents for a fresher feeling.

DRY SKIN TONES

Cologne needs something to adhere to, and dry or sensitive skin does not hold a scent as long as oily skin. Contrary to popular belief, putting on more of any scent is not the answer. Instead, try heavier or thicker scents with undertones of tobacco and musk. hese have a greater presence and will stay with you longer than a lighter fragrance.

DETERMINE WHEN YOU WILL WEAR THE COLOGNE

One aspect of choosing a signature scent that is often overlooked is the setting in which you plan to wear it. A scent that’s fit for the office is not appropriate for nights prowling the local clubs. If you plan to wear one scent on a daily basis, then you’re really looking for a balanced fragrance that fits your overall lifestyle.

Know the Notes

No one is graceful all the time, and by that same note (no pun intended!), fragrances do not emit only one note or characteristic at a time. Learn the fragrance categories, and find that perfect fit.

FRESH: These scents contain ingredients such as lemon, lime, and grapefruit and are reminiscent of the vibrancy and joyfulness of life. Examples of fresh scents are Bvlgari AQVA pour Homme Marine, Issey Miyake L’Eau d’Issey Pour Homme, Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue Pour Homme, Calvin Klein euphoria men, Azzaro Chrome, Acqua Di Parma Colonia and Calvin Klein ck one AROMATIC: Aromatics contain a cocktail of ingredients. They mix citrus, lavender, orange, ginger, blackcurrant, lime, and are often spiked with sweet spices and oriental woods. Some examples are Dolce & Gabbana Pour Homme, Burberry Burberry Classic For Men, Issey Miyake L’Eau D’Issey Pour Homme Intense, Bvlgari Pour Homme and Calvin Klein Eternity For Men. WOODY: The woody scents round out the last of our categories. Woody scents are as warm and inviting as a cup of hot chocolate, but remain balanced by the sensual and the mysterious. Fragrances that reflect this warm and seductive element are Dior Fahrenheit, Carolina Herrera 212 Men, Givenchy Givenchy Gentleman, Tom Ford For Men, Gucci Gucci By Gucci Pour Homme, Jean Paul Gaultier Le Male and Thierry Mugler A*MEN.

Factors when Shopping

Armed with your knowledge of the scent categories, approach the fragrance counter with confidence and keep these final tips in mind:

THE CHEMISTRY FACTOR: Everyone has their own personal body chemistry and that chemistry will interact with whatever fragrance you choose. After spritzing the fragrance on the inside of the wrist, let it wear for a while. Keep smelling your wrist to see if the fragrance still appeals to you. THE AGE FACTOR: Some scents are geared towards a certain age group and with good reason. Light and bubbly scents are

age-appropriate for teenagers. A 40-something has the confidence of life experience behind him and his scent should reflect that experience.

HOW DO YOU FEEL? And finally, ask yourself how you feel wearing the fragrance. Does it make you feel good? Does a smile light your lips when you smell the scent? Are you happy? These are the questions to ask yourself regardless of the fragrance you choose. If the fragrance makes you happy, wear it with confidence; a scent like that always wears well. M FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M HOROSCOPES

The End or a New Beginning?

Away with fluffy political correctness! 2012 wants the truth, writes Linda Shaw. So it’s yes to acknowledging our deepest desires – and an absolutely definitely to finding them through love, wild sex and the accumulation of enormous wealth. One more thing: Apocalypse means an unveiling or a revealing. So YES, we are almost certainly in for one of those.

CAPRICORN

22 Dec - 21 Jan The news is good, with work consuming you before August, and love seizing the reins in later months. Busy but interesting. Exciting too – if you let it be. Love and sex: The real truth is that Capricorn has huge problems with intimacy. Commitment you can do – but intimacy? Even so, many a single Capricorn will say his vows this year. And many others will firmly resolve to do so as soon as you can bring yourselves to take that kind of risk. The trick, in the meanwhile, is to choose the perfect mate. And as one happily married Capricorn once remarked,

AQUARIUS

22 Jan - 18 Feb Isn’t it fabulous how the world has changed? And aren’t you thrilled to have shifted from dangerous revolutionary to fascinating leader? Onward ho! Love and sex: Marriage hasn’t been an option for quite a while. Or even a desire. Frankly, you’ve been much too freaked out to even contemplate such a move. That’s all changing now. And perhaps Mr. Wonderful has already shown his face. If not, it won’t be long. The spiritual revolution is altering your perspective. Your psychic abilities have improved, and you can see things you couldn’t see before. Don’t knock it. Anything that makes you

PISCES

19 Feb - 20 Mar

It seems forever since you’ve had a life. Just a few more months of this, and the lesson is over. The channel is just about to change. Love and sex: Here’s the dilemma: 070

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‘choose with your head, not your ovaries.’ Be that as it may, Capricorn is making sensible choices this year. None of that love at first sight rubbish for you. You’ll be selecting with care – and moving into romance with as much preparation as you would give to a new career. Good for you. There is, after all, nothing more romantic than a well-planned spontaneous event. Just keep on doing what you do – and you’ll be more than fine. Still, there’s a deeply romantic side in there somewhere. And for the already involved, love is better than ever. A new trust has grown into the kind of closeness most couples only dream about. If it’s not happening, something must be done – fast. This is the year when Capricorn relationships either work – or they don’t. And love is in the air. La la la. Career and money: It’s not that you’ve happier has to be good. So how about it? How about actually buying that gorgeous tux – and putting it on. You can do it. Could be a friend has become a lover. Or a teacher takes you to higher realms. Choose before August – because after then, it’s back to the madness. If you like. Obviously, such lunacy can be just as much fun with the love of your life. And those who have one had better stay where they are. But make the choices first. Meanwhile, your circle of friends is expanding, and your home life is becoming easier. Nice. Nothing wrong at all. Career and money: To have great wealth, one must desire it. It’s a universal truth – one with which Aquarius constantly battles. So. Enough of that, ‘I’m not into it for the money’ drivel. This is your time to announce to a startled universe that you like and want money just as much as anyone else. And if you can get past there’s one planet dragging you, almost by force, towards the altar. And there’s another, dancing on the sidelines, reminding you of the dangers of lost freedom. By August, you’ll have found some balance – figuring out exactly where your priorities lie. You’ll have no choice. It’s either that, or collapse from sheer exhaustion. From June, your health, energy and feeling of success will almost instantly improve. Your spiritual growth too, will take you to a new dimension from March. And your social

lost your ambition. In fact, ambition is a basic ingredient in your DNA. But this year, the competitive drive has been tempered somewhat by a desire to have some actual fun with your work. Which is great. There’ll be chances for team work, and workshops – places where unusual is good and risky is rewarded. Okay, so you’re not really the risk-taking type. But if you consider that money can only improve this year, and that job security is a given, there’ll be time and courage for experiments. So go ahead and misbehave. It could be fun. It will be fun. Love match: Taurus, Virgo Element: Fire Planet: Saturn Symbol: Goat Gem: Black onyx Desire: to manage, to lead, to administrate Vibration: Controlling, persevering, responsible

that little philosophical dilemma, the rest is a piece of cake. Suddenly, the kinds of opportunities that would usually make a detour around you, are heading straight for your door. Great success is available if you want it – and if you’re prepared to actually play by the rules for once in your stubborn life. Basically then, there’ll be unexpected investment offers, and unusual short-term projects coming up. Say yes to everything – at least until you’ve had a closer look. This is one of those years whose basic message is that you’ll never know until you try – but once you do, you’ll be so glad you did. Love match: Gemini, Libra Element: air Planet: Uranus Symbol: The water bearer Gem: Sapphire Desire: To bring change, to know Vibration: Rebellious, detached, intelligent

life is getting ready to shine. If you’re still doing that wilting flower thing, get some help at once. No more time for that kind of rubbish. In short then, you’re looking at a wonderfully happy, social, loving, romantic year. For singles, marriage is almost certainly on the cards. For marrieds, it’s time to take your love outside; to have parties and actually go to the dinners. If nothing else, you could get some new outfits. Or try one of those endless health

M HOROSCOPES things you’re always on about. You do, after all, want the energy to cope with all the late nights. And if you’re looking for love, keep an eye open at work, or granny’s afternoon tea. Just one potential snag. Generally a fairly faithful soul, your energies have expanded – requiring extra stimulation in every way. In short, you’ll have to work really hard to stay true to your man. Try to remember that before your brain switches off one dark sultry night. Career and money: You’ve been tested and you’ve passed the test. Though career and money are not your primary

ARIES

21 Mar - 19 Apr Talk about speeded up! Not too fast for you though. After all, speed is your thing. Make the most while you are the most. Love and sex: You’ve suddenly lost all desire to settle. And if you are settled, you’ve lost all desire to stay. So how about this: singles, you have cosmic permission to grab every magic moment, and milk it of all its juices (while also doing your very best to maintain at least a tinge of morality.) The committed ones had better find a safe place to explore

TAURUS

20 Apr - 20 May A slow start speeds up at the end of August, bringing tiny puffs of magic as it goes. Let them in. Miracles are still miracles, however they arrive. Love and sex: Okay, so it’s none of their business – but that hasn’t stopped your relatives ferreting about for lovers. Yes, for you. Even so, don’t be so quick to slam doors in faces. They know more than you think. Still, if you’re on your own now, it’s as it should be. The cosmos has made it her business to boot out anyone who’s cramping your style. Which means, if you’re still involved, you definitely have something worth hanging on to. For dear life. In your spare moments, look out for a lost love. He’ll arrive bearing gifts, promises of lasting passion – and some feeble excuse for his abysmal behaviour. Have some fun if you’re free – but don’t forget to ask yourself why you left in the first place.

focus, there’ll be plenty of both about. The planet of benevolence and fab offers it to you until end August. So you can cheerfully expect job offers overseas, pay rises, promotions and any other good thing you can come up with. Job seekers in general have sensational backup before June, with a dream job likely to manifest for those who really want it. And sure, you’ll still be contending with that Piscean desire to gaze out the window writing poetry, but perhaps you can transform that into actually writing your book. Whatever you do though, you’ll need to trade in that lost waif look for a that wicked streak: with a brief, wildly sensual, affair (dangerous as hell) or an adrenalin rush that makes you feel bad. The Aries guy, after all, just loves to feel bad. Of course, the other, much more difficult option is to work on recreating the spark in your current love. It can be done. Try for romantic dinners and exotic aftershaves - and a large dose of imagination. Take care though. You’re not always as tough as you think Career and money: Are you behaving yourself? Or are you lurking in some darkened casino, gambling away the family fortunes? This is what’s known in the vernacular as avoidance of the inevitable. Face it, changes are brewing – and they’re changes of a very scary kind. Could an Aries dynamo ever become a Either way, marriage is unlikely. If you’re already involved, buy your man a huge bouquet, and tell him why you chose him over the other guy. If you are available to anyone with a naughty streak, this is a very wicked time, especially before May. For the rest of you, the biggest social headline comes through friends. Look out for betrayals, revelations, fall-outs and fascinations. A friend may sleep with your man, or vice versa. A lie may destroy a friendship. No festering allowed, no matter what. This is very good stuff – all the better to improve you with. And for yourself, hold back on the rash decisions and wild gossip. In fact, if someone tells you you’re being remarkably quiet these days, take it as a compliment. Quiet is good. Thinking is good. Career and money: Your year has been very carefully divided into two halves. And this is very definitely the first half. The good news is that you’re saving the best for last. Meantime, you’ll hardly notice how well behaved you’re having to be. You’re just doing what comes naturally – saving, investing, budgeting, managing...all the good things that make

newer, shinier model. And don’t say you can’t. Do it right, and you could be the one giving the orders before the year is out. You’ll be mixing with some important people too. So get yourself something decent to wear. Now. Love match: Cancer, Scorpio Element: Water Planet: Neptune Symbol: The fish Gem: White diamond Desire: To merge, to become one with, to rise above Vibration: Self-sacrificing, healing, intuitive

home body? Or set up an office in the garden? Think about it. Whatever it is, it’ll be fun. Certainly until August, when the serious gear shifts up a notch. Meanwhile, the cosmos has additional plans. You’ll learn to manage money (you’ll try, anyway); you’ll have fun and luck with investments before June; and time before then to check out your options or maybe even change career completely. Money is good. Oh and keep a beady eye open for new opportunities. They never come when you think they will. Love match: Leo, Sagittarius Element: Fire Planet: Mars Symbol: Ram Gem: Amethyst Desire: To lead, to conquer, to win Vibration: Strong, independent, honest

you the clever, safe creature you are. Keep it up. For now. And while you’re there, think about a career change, emigration even, or learning new skills. Each soul has its own special purpose, and yours is calling out to you. While you wait, tell yourself you’re exactly where you want to be. Just say no to everything before May, when your money planet takes temporary leave of its senses. For now, the energies are simply nudging you out of your comfort zones. No rash decisions. Take your time. Love match: Virgo, Capricorn Element: Earth Planet: Venus Symbol: Bull Gem: Emerald Desire: Comfort, security, material ease Vibration: Dependable, loyal

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GEMINI

21 May - 21 Jun How typical. Here you are, prancing about in your ‘Singing in the Rain’ outfit, while your entire world is falling apart. Well, perhaps not falling. But it could sure use a little darning around the edges. Just until June. Love and sex: Poor you. You couldn’t be more confused. Are you in love with love – or with him? It’s a tough question – one you’d better answer before you’re handed something you’re not sure you want. Say, around March. The past few years have brought oceans of change to the Gemini heart. Many of you have divorced – and even re-married, possibly a tad too swiftly. Even if you managed

CANCER

22 Jun - 22 Jul Was that you complaining? Stop it at once, or you’ll miss the marvels. It’s a fantastic year, this. Make sure you’re in full attendance. Love and sex: Hmmm. In love with the boss, are you? Or one of those fatherly, parent figures? Excellent. Marriage cannot be far away - though not necessarily with him. In general, this is a year that sizzles - especially for singles or newly marrieds. If you’re unattached, marriage is almost a certainty. Believe it. If you’re already involved, expect more romance. Suddenly, you’re number one in his life, and he’s doing everything he

LEO

23 Jul - 22 Aug

The first six – actually nine – months of your year have just one thing to say: ‘Party on, little lion. Your carriage awaits.’ Love and sex: What was that? You’re a serial monogomist? Completely faithful to the man of the moment? Ah...Isn’t that nice? And why not – if you can keep it up. Still, there may be times when you

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to stay committed (good for you), you feel as though you’re hanging on by your teeth. Singles may be keen on commitment, but scared as rabbits of taking the steps. So what now? Well, the better news is that cosmos is letting you off. Not completely, but just enough to give you a good night’s sleep. Which means, if you still want to get married, do it after August. Remaining singles can look close to home for love. And much further afield for adventure. Marrieds might be thinking about couples counselling – or not. The point is, Gemini needs are changing all the time – never more dramatically than now. Get to know your new self – so you can ask yourself what you want. And don’t you dare panic. You can do this stuff. You just have to want to. Career and money: Listen carefully: try not to get fired before April. You’ll be in one of your ‘I don’t care what you say, I’m going to be a brat’ moods. And

can to please you. Meanwhile, for all our crabs, love takes a deeper turn. Scary but fabulous – as long as you remember that expectations can kill what you’ve already got. So if you’re unhappy, look again, in a different way. Hoping for a second choice? Yum. Watch as excitement and experiment finally kill all those endless inhibitions. At last. It’s time to play. So much so that the possibility of serial love affairs is growing by the hour. Watch that if you want to keep what you’ve got. Focus instead on the numerous commitment opportunities wafting into your space. Grab one and make it happen. Do it right. You know you want to. Career and money: Here’s a thing. If you’re needing to impress, sew a couple of sequins on your shoulder area. It’s a Chinese trick – sequins reflect in a way that creates an impression of power and confidence. Not that you’ll need either.

can’t - March 12th -April 4th and July 15th - August 7th for instance. However, as someone wise once said, he’d rather have five minutes of ‘wow’ than a lifetime of nothing special. The question is, would you? Actually, there’s a tiny corner of your heart that’s yearning for something more. But only a corner. The rest is all playboy. And that’s as it should be. You’ll know when it’s time to be responsible. Of course, if you’re already involved, you’d better lock yourself in the bathroom until August. Unless, of course, you can find ways to have harmless erotic fun – ha ha.

besides, just because the career planets aren’t exactly with you, doesn’t mean you can’t make it on your own. But it does make it easier to plan your route if you know what’s going on around you. For now, your planets have little interest in your finances, preferring instead to train for you greater things. Like handling large sums - especially after May. Meanwhile, important career changes are on their way – erratically. Check out the goodies before June, but wait for definite offers before signing. And don’t fret. There’s no hurry here – simply a hint of things to come. Try for some patience. You’ve heard of patience, haven’t you? Love match: Libra, Aquarius Element: Air Planet: Mercury Symbol: The twins Gem: Aquamarine Desire: To learn, to know, to communicate Vibration: Youthful, exciting, unpredictable

This is your year for doing really well, with money arriving cheerfully and easily. In fact, the lesson is probably to stop trying so hard. It’s your carefree side that’s bringing in the bucks. All that slaving simply blocks the flow. So make work fun. And think about a partnership to help you share the load. If you’re employed, expect a pay-rise mid-year. Meanwhile, the solar eclipses on May 20th and November 13th will hit your wallet, but not without giving you the chance to correct any problems. Get some advice if necessary – but make wise choices. Or choices will be made for you. Love match: Scorpio, Pisces Element: Water Planet: Moon Symbol: Crab Gem: Moonstone Desire: To nurture, to belong Vibration: Sensitive, understanding, healing

Is there such a thing? Be that as it may, this is one of the most passionate years you’re going to get. This is stuff you can write novels about later on. So get your hair done. You’re needed out there. Career and money: Before April 14th, you get to coast along as before. It’s only afterwards that things start happening. Big things. Only two tiny details can trip you up on the way to glorious success. The first is the inevitable Leo ego which can so easily blind you to the facts. Hopefully by now you’ve found ways to manage the little fellow, without completely crushing his spirit. And secondly, your

M HOROSCOPES planet of brilliant ideas goes into reverse until mid April. Avoid major decisions then, if you can. Otherwise, the planet of endless goodies is with you. The real money may only come later in the year, but

VIRGO

23 Aug - 22 Sep Isn’t this fab? Drop the reins, and feel better than you have in years. No travel brochures needed here. Just go where you’re sent. Love and sex: Is there a middle road between love and work? Or is it guilt and slavery all the way? No, no, enough of that. This year’s planets are asking you to be a little less extreme. The commitment, you see, has to be to yourself rather than some vague notion of success. So here comes love – in all its glory. Suddenly cupid’s little arrows are everywhere, flying about gaily, penetrating your helpless heart whenever you’re looking the other way - like an electric shock. There you were, happily convinced you were in love with Man A - when WHAM. Man B gives you one of his smiles. So hear this: no long-term decisions allowed until

LIBRA

23 Sep - 22 Oct It’s not that the good times are over. It’s that the prize suddenly got harder to find. Keep looking, babe. It’s in there somewhere. Love and sex: A Libran without love is like a bird without wings. In which case, all lonely Librans will be looking – even if only subconsciously – for someone to fill that gaping hole in your gentle souls. Try looking at work, or in the doctor’s surgery. You’re discovering a fascination for men in uniform. Don’t fight it. You’re liking the idea of having men do things for you. And no, that’s not really like you,

SCORPIO

23 Oct - 21 Nov

Well, you’ve made it this far. And that was no mean feat. And now the wheel is turning – and it turns for you. Get ready

you’ll be perfectly fine until it does. Truth is, Leo wishes to languish – and be rich. The trick is to find work that is fun. Or of course, to win the lotto – which is also not impossible. You never know.

Love match: Sagittarius, Aries Element: Fire Planet: Sun Symbol: Lion Gem: Yellow diamond Desire: To shine, to entertain, to have fun Vibration: Protective, confident, gener-

you’re absolutely sure. There’s something odd going on here – something carefully designed to remind you that, where love is concerned, you are never in control. And sure, it’s true that Virgos have never really been known as ‘love at first sight’ type. But that’s all changing now, as your entire social landscape, whether desert or garden, takes on a completely new look. Even if you’re married, you’ll take some strain, as you wonder in the night whether you’re where you should be. It’s true. Probably for the first time in your life, Virgo is at the mercy of the winds. The initial stirrings start in March , and take you into August. Take your time with this. For if there’s one thing that can be said about confusion it’s that sensible decisions are seldom made during one of its visits. Try for romance – in all its forms. Then add a teaspoon of wickedness to taste. Married or not, it’s time for a change. See how it goes. Career and money: How about this for a trick? When you stop focusing on the end result, and occupy yourself with the task at hand, the end result will always

take care of itself. In other words, if you work because you love it, and not for the money, the money will come of its own accord. It’s true. And somewhere deep in your soul, you know that. Which is why your work, and your attitude to work are changing so much. This is your big chance – your moment to find your true purpose and creative source. You have only six months to get it right, before ‘reality’ marches back into your life. Until then, you’re at your most relaxed, doing only what you think is right. Keep going. Those vile bosses will move on by themselves, and the jealous colleagues will find other people to pick on. Watch carefully as the road clears for you – then set off without hesitation. This is big stuff. Don’t mess with it.

but you’re having a practical moment. Might as well go with it. Whatever happens though, marriage is unlikely. Lots of steady romance though. Meanwhile, if the lover’s moved on – and many have – you’ll discover an almost frightening dependence on your friends. Careful with that. Even you have to learn to be alone sometimes. But not now. Far from it. For now, serial love affairs can be found behind every filing cabinet. Even your friends could be moving in for the kill – so much so that they might ask to join you in business, hoping to see you more often. Don’t be fooled by any of it. As always, you’ll know what’s right. And in the meantime, have fun, fool around and – yes, how about falling in love with yourself. Now that would be an affair to remember. Where was that gilded mirror? Career and money: The career takes for better days. Love and sex: Not even you can have it all. Actually, that’s not true. With a little balance and some basic priorities, you can have anything you want. But balance is not a word you can readily understand. You’re doing that all-ornothing thing, with all for work and the none for you. Which means you’ll have to make the most of the moments you

ous

Love match: Taurus, Capricorn Element: Earth Planet: Mercury, Chiron Symbol: The virgin Gem: Agate Desire: To perfect, to discriminate, to serve Vibration: Caring, compassionate

priority as you happily opt for longer hours, a new career path and much more fabulous titles. What’s more, the downplanet that’s been holding you back disappears for good in October. Slowly the daily expenses become less onerous, as you’re gradually able to add to your supplies. Meanwhile, if you need any help, just ask. No-one can refuse you now. Which means you won’t have to worry about the mildly unstable career path you seem to be taking. Just prepare for changes – and go with the flow. The end result is already in the bag. Love match: Gemini, Aquarius Element: Air Planet: Venus Symbol: The scales Gem: Opal Desire: To create balance, harmony and justice; to relate Vibration: Charming, diplomatic, tactful

have. For a start, you can diarise May 15th – June 26th. There’ll be some time off then. Even so, you’ll have to move fast if you want an actual love life. Your love planet is on the move, hurtling from place to place, pausing only long enough to smash-and-grab before moving on. If you find love along the way, hang on for dear life. If not, make the most of the moments. If you already have love, nurture it as FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M HOROSCOPES you would your most successful investment. For the rest, focus on friendships. They’re important now, offering you the emotional sustenance you’re not getting elsewhere. But don’t despair. Love is there if you really want it. Just open your eyes and ask. Career and money: And now for the good stuff. If you’re being deprived on the personal front, the public delights will more than make up for the loss. So yes, money and career are the main focus of your year. And there’s nothing wrong

sagittarius 22 Nov - 21 Dec

For someone accustomed to non-stop wins, anything less seems like a huge anticlimax. Try looking through different eyes. This is good stuff. Love and sex: Contrary to popular Sag belief, love does not arrive, all wrapped up in a neat little bow. Love is messy, unpredictable, and often completely unrecognisable in its current form. So much so that, if you’re not happily settled, you could be thinking you rather like being alone. So here’s your lesson for the year: it’s about give and take; patience; and the courage to be vulnerable. Of course, if you’re already involved, you should be fine – as long as you keep that big mouth

with that. Opportunities are coming at you from all directions, and recognition for past efforts make it all worthwhile. And incidentally, any of you with government connections had better finalise the deals by September. For the rest, it’s up and away. You may even learn to genuinely trust yourself as you’re able to meet your own absurdly high standards. So sure, you can spend the year wailing about a lost love if you like. Or you can use your energies a better way. After all, if you’re into revenge – and you are – there can be no

shut and wait out the year. Your instincts, of course, will have you packing bags and slamming doors. Don’t do that. In fact, this could be the time for relationship counselling – not nearly as woesy as it sounds. If you’re perfectly happy as you are, just keep doing what you’re doing. Meanwhile, for singles, it’s a yes to dating, romance, exotic holidays and any form of magic you can conjure up. Those hoping for a second chance can start making calls. A third? Even if you’re offered, you’ll probably say no. And for the rest, stop being such a hero all the time. Even you are allowed the occasional break from magnificence. Vulnerability is a bigger turn-on than you know. Career and money: Sagittarians are big thinkers. They want it all: money, fame, glamour, prestige, and a teeny little place in history. Not too much to ask when you were born to be a winner. The only snag is, these things are seldom dished out

better revenge than doing well. So yes, let your reputation soar and the money roll in. You’ll see. By October, it will all be completely different. Love match: Cancer, Pisces Element: Water Planet: Pluto Symbol: Scorpion, snake Gem: Bloodstone Desire: To penetrate and transform Vibration: Possessive, mysterious, passionate

just because you were born the fabulous person you are. Occasionally you have to show the rest of the plebs what you can actually do. And to this end, the planets have chosen to push you forward with a carrot and a stick – both designed to keep you interested when your attention wanders. Success through hard work is what this year’s about. Courage through confusing moves and unexpected career changes. And for once in your very lucky life, magic doesn’t simply arrive spontaneously on your doorstep. At least not before August. Until then, do your best. You may find you enjoy living like the rest of the human race. For a change. Love match: Aries, Leo Element: Fire Planet: Jupiter Symbol: The archer Gem: Turquoise Desire: To expand mentally, to find truth Vibration: Adventurous, lucky, philosophical

LINDA SHAW Linda Shaw has been working as an astrologer, teacher and healer for over 20 years. She appears regularly on radio and television, and writes for a variety of publications including Sunday Times, Elle and Fair Lady. She travels widely, entertaining audiences with her talks and workshops. Her current fascination is with the massive transformation in 2012. Details of Linda’s services can be found on her website: www.asklindashaw.co.za. Or you can email her on asklinda@askindashaw.co.za

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M TRAVEL

IMAGE GOOGLE IMAGES

Sometimes a man just wants to hang out with the boys. M magazine checks out whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on offer in Cape Town and the surrounding areas for gay men-only accommodation.

FOR THE MODERN MAN

065

M TRAVEL

the pink rose guesthouse

Reviewed by Hein Scholtz

So, tell us about this spot? With its freshly painted white and pink walls, this house definitely stands out from the suburban houses surrounding it. Fortunately though, this is the only thing about this guesthouse that ‘screams’. What about your room? Although the four rooms here are different from each other, each boasts a double bed, en-suite bathroom and ample closet space. There is also a room for those who wish to stay a bit longer than usual as it features a kitchenette and private garden area. And what else is on offer? Usually one would like to leave the guesthouse as soon as you get there, but one lingers a bit with this one, mainly due to the incredible views of False Bay and the inviting pool. The private inner garden allows for making acquaintances with other guests at the pool or Jacuzzi and you can even take a shower outside while enjoying a view of the Hottentots Holland mountain range. You could also book a massage with Lars, one half of the German duo who manages the guesthouse. There are also day tours (when available) of the Winelands as well as shuttle services to and from the airport. Is there an on-site restaurant and bar? Besides a relatively good and varied breakfast menu, there is no actual restaurant. The owners will however gladly rustle up a lunch or dinner if given fair warning. There’s an honesty bar in the dining room, well within arm’s reach of the cocktail deck. What kind of clientele does this place cater for? It is perfect for international tourists and local businessmen who are in town for extended stays. What makes this place special? The quality of the rooms, views of False Bay and the garden shower. Any complaints? Being German-run, there is no real South African feel to this guesthouse. Depending on what you’re looking for, this could either be very refreshing or very disappointing. Who would you recommend it to? Any businessman needing to get out of Cape Town for a night or two. So, how much are we looking at? Rooms range from R600 to R1 000 (breakfast included), depending on time of the year and the number of people being booked for. And if I want more info? Pink Rose Guesthouse & Spa, 15 Lantana Street, Helderview, Somerset West; tel: (021) 855 5189; email: info@pinkroseguesthouse.com; website: www.pinkroseguesthouse.com.

the glen boutique hotel

Reviewed by ren borcherds

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So, tell us about this spot? As you step through the gates and into the reception area of this internationally renowned hotel, you will know you’re about to experience designer style and personal service. What about your room? The rooms are beautifully decorated, though the furnishings are inviting and comfortable. The hotel is designed around the pool area, which has allowed for all the rooms to be shaped differently. Some rooms have balconies, while the one we stayed in has a stunning large (and private) sundeck next to the pool. And what else is on offer? There are now two awesome pools and an outdoor Jacuzzi as well as the indoor Jacuzzi, steam room, sauna and showers. There is also a fully equipped spa where you can get poolside massages and other treatments. There’s free wi-fi throughout the hotel and poolside areas. And if you run out of lube and poppers, just call room service. Is there an on-site restaurant and bar? For breakfast, there are buffet, continental, à la carte or full English options to choose from. Light meals can be ordered during the day. There are two fully licenced bars inside the hotel, or just order your drinks poolside from the attentive staff. What kind of clientele does this place cater for? This place is synonymous with sun-kissed, Speedo-clad men from abroad but every guest is made to feel very comfortable. What makes this place special? Well yeah, hot international guys do tend to stay here. It also provides great style and design quality. Any complaints? If you end up having to spend time in your room, expect to find at least seven channels of Supersport, no interesting lifestyle channels or E! Entertainment. Who would you recommend it to? Definitely tourists, but it’s a great place for locals to enjoy an indulgent, dirty (but stylish) weekend. So, how much are we looking at? Standard room rates vary from R500 to R1 450 per night, breakfast included, depending on the time of the year. And if I want more info? The Glen Boutique Hotel, 3 The Glen, Sea Point, Cape Town. Tel: 021 439 0086 or e-mail info@glenhotel.co.za. Website: www.glenhotel.co.za

M TRAVEL

shisa guest farm m editor's

choice

So, tell us about this spot? Well, where do I start? It’s a one-of-a kind gay retreat situated in the Tulbagh valley. This less-than-90-minute scenic drive from Cape Town is well worth the trek when you experience the Africa-meets-Zen-meets-industrial aesthetic that owners Joe de Villiers and Francois Swanepoel have created. What about your room? We stayed in the subtly chic Champagne Suite. Only the best for the M Magazine crew, after all. And the best is what we got on a daily basis, from the queen-size bed, large bath, lounge, fireplace and private garden to the fridge which was replenished on a daily basis with snacks, juice and Krone bubbly. The other four equally stylish standard rooms feature showers, queen-size beds and private patios. And what else is on offer? Take your pick. If you are in need of some hard-core R&R, there’s the bright red pool (a converted reservoir), tanning deck and hammock just waiting for you. If you are feeling more active, take a walk to the waterfall and rock pools (ask Francois for directions), picnic by the river, or venture out of the property to historical Tulbagh for its Cape Dutch architecture, wine estates, olive farms, restaurants and bars. There’s free wi-fi in the main house, plus a great selection of erotica to keep you stimulated if the talent quotient is low. From 28 January, the monthly summer pool parties kick off and the multifunctional events/ conference venue is available from 1 February. Perfect for art exhibitions and intimate weddings. Is there an on-site restaurant and bar? There’s a fully licenced honesty bar and our breakfasts were always nutritious ‘n delicious. For the rest of your meals, BYO (there’s a fridge near the pool area) or pop in to the Spar or restaurants in town. What kind of clientele does this place cater for? In peak season, mostly foreigners looking for African sun and hospitality. Many gay Capetonians don’t even know about Shisa! They don’t know what they are missing. What makes this place special? Joe and Francois have created something unique and their passion and creativity is everywhere to be appreciated. Of course, the gorgeous location (those mountains and the veld in the distance are made for staring) adds to the experience. The manager Pierre Eksteen and the staff go about their business with much dedication. Any complaints? We had to leave, eventually, after three extensions to our stay. Who would you recommend it to? Any gay man with a sense of appreciation for the rejuvenating powers of nature and human creativity. So, how much are we looking at? It all depends on how long you stay. So for example, the rate for the Champagne Suite for the first two nights is R1 290 for the double room (R1 700 for three people). For the other rooms, it’s R490 per person per night sharing for the first two nights and R650 single. All rates include breakfast. There are no off-season rates as such, but look out for the specials on the website. And if I want more info? Cell: 083 324 4466 (Joe) and 083 954 4428 (Francois); email: info@shisafarm.com; website: www.shisafarm.com

Reviewed by Richard Goller

FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M TRAVEL

cactus house guesthouse

Reviewed by Richard Goller

So, tell us about this spot? From the outside this six-room guesthouse looks like just another Oranjezicht home (there isn’t even a Cactus House sign), but that all changed when we saw our room. What about your room? We stayed in the Superior Room, decorated in subtle muted tones (none of that generic beige here, thank you very much), and complete with king-sized bed, double-sized shower, flat-screen TV and DVD player. But it was the balcony, with its gorgeous Table Mountain view, comfy day beds and vintage bath that really impressed us. Deluxe and Standard rooms are also available. And what else is on offer? There’s a Jacuzzi in front of the property and cosy plunge pool at the back. Just feel like chilling? There’s a good selection of DVDs to choose from. Best bring your own porn and lube though if you feel like fucking. While Wi-Fi is available, it ain’t for free. Is there an on-site restaurant and bar? Our super-friendly host Julian was at our disposal and cooked up a mean breakfast. There’s an honesty bar, with a good selection of beer, wine, cider and soft drinks. And if you feel like a cocktail, Julian is your man. Dinner (R75 per head) at Cactus House is a jovial affair. What kind of clientele does this place cater for? Almost all foreigners, many of whom are repeat visitors. We stayed just before the start of season so the place was very quiet. Chatted a bit to a nice American (who had just worked in India) and a returning, young German couple, who were also our neighbours. Seeing that both Superior rooms share the same balcony, I promised them we would not fight over the bath. What makes this place special? The fact that we felt right at home upon entry. Any complaints? We found the steel dining room chairs quite hideous. But that’s it, really. Who would you recommend it to? Anybody looking for a discreet and comfortable stay. So, how much are we looking at? R500 – R850 per night off-peak season and R750 – R1 050 per night season (breakfast included). And if I want more info? Cactus House Guesthouse, 4 Molteno Road, Oranjezicht, Cape Town; Tel: 021 422 5966; 072 303 4857 (Julian); email: reception@cactushouse. co.za; website: www.cactushouse.co.za

amsterdam guesthouse

Reviewed by Richard Goller

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So, tell us about this spot? It’s an eight-room guesthouse in Oranjezicht. Judging from the raised eyebrows we received whenever we mentioned to people we would be staying there, it has a bit of an anything-goes reputation. What about your room? We stayed in a deluxe room, with features like ensuite bathroom, air-con/heating, TV, DVD, oh-so-retro VCR player and free wi-fi. With its great view from the bedroom over the pool area, no wonder this room is much sought-after in busy-busy season. There are also Standard Rooms, a Junior Executive Suite and Executive Suite (this one has its own rock ‘n roll Jacuzzi). And what else is on offer? Condoms and lube are very handily placed on the bedside table. There’s a great selection of VCR porn to choose from at no extra charge. Nice! And then there’s the outside entertainment area (clothing optional), with large heated swimming pool, sauna, Jacuzzi and steam room. We loved the kitsch statues. Is there an on-site restaurant and bar? There isn’t a restaurant, but Amsterdam serves up a hearty breakfast, including continental and hot breakfast options (the omelettes come well recommended). There’s an honesty bar if you feel like a beer, cider, wine or soft drink. What kind of clientele does this place cater for? Mostly repeat-visit foreigners who enjoy Amsterdam’s pretension-free vibe. What makes this place special? It’s kind of like staying at your older gay uncle, who’s been around a bit and has seen it all. Any complaints? It was a little too quiet when we stayed there (early November), so apart from the hottie doing repairs around the pool area, there was a lack of eye candy. But come to think of it, the quiet was a perk too. Who would you recommend it to? Anyone who likes a chilled, be-yourself vibe. So, how much are we looking at? Off season rooms range from R700 to R1 095 and season from R895 to R1 195. And if I want more info? Amsterdam Guest House, 19 Forest Road, Oranjezicht; tel: 021 461 8236; email: info@amsterdam.co.za; website: www.amsterdam.co.za

Shisa!

Joe +27(0)83 324 4466 or Francois +27(0)83 954 4428 info@shisafarm.com | www.shisafarm.com

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M EAT & DRINK

GESELLIG RESTAURANT & BAR CNR. REGENT & CHURCH STREETS, CAPE TOWN - 021 433 1515

Your first impression? I have walked past this place numerous times, and it’s always looked quite small from the outside. But as I settled down into my chair, I was quite surprised by both the ambience and the sudden increase in size of the space. It’s a bit of a mix between a bistro, restaurant and café – a lounge bar. Thoughts on the menu? I absolutely loved the menu – it is very varied. Nevertheless it was only after reading it carefully that I realised there is a bit of a theme to it – a Dutch theme that creeps up on you. Refreshing, really. Beverages? Since it is more of a café, I didn’t really expect much in the way of drinks, and the offerings were pretty much as expected. Then again, I always breathe such a sigh of relief whenever someone actually serves Coke Zero, that I do a little happy dance when no-one is watching. Food? The food is very interesting. There’s a varied menu and an almost surprising amount of options considering that the kitchen is only a small room upstairs (and a small spiral staircase is all that separates it from the ground floor!). The food isn’t really to my taste, although the tapas options are quite nice. The servings are immense – they are excellent for a large group of friends who want to nibble on something while they’re playing 30 Seconds or having a drinkathon. Service? Our waiter wasn’t very interesting, but at least he was knowledgeable about the menu. Ambience? Honestly I do like the vibe of the place. It suits the neighbourhood and the late closing times make it a great place to hang out after clubbing or for a late-night coffee or snack. It’s comfortable and non-plastic, which is great. Pricing? This is one of those places where I would spend my hard-earned money on a regular basis. It helps that the prices are fair, especially in relation to the large servings. Overall Impression? A good place, it has the makings of something akin to Friend’s ‘Central Perk’. If you like the menu and theme, why not?

Reviewed by Hein Scholtz

CONNEXXION RESTAURANT

STYLING NAME SURNAME

PROTEA HOTEL VICTORIA JUNCTION, CORNER SOMERSET & EBENEZER ROADS, GREENPOINT, CAPE TOWN - 021 418 1234

Reviewed by Hein Scholtz

Your first impression? What an interesting place. The foyer leads to the bar and restaurant area, and although your initial impression is that it’s formal (it is after all a hotel restaurant), you are immediately greeted by the friendly staff who suddenly make it a very personal experience. Thoughts on the menu? I was very impressed. It’s very tapas heavy, and offers only a few, well-chosen mains. I love the traditional foods from the Western Cape, like skaapvleisbredie, along with kingklip and Spanish tapas that have made it to the menu. It is both personalised and local, and gives the visitor a good, balanced introduction to Cape cuisine. Beverages? The wine list is not as extensive as I expected, but is rather a modest show of what the local wineries have to offer. They are both affordable, and thankfully, quaffable. I would have liked to see at least one 4-star Platter’s wine though. Food? The food was good – better than most hotel restaurants, in the sense that it had soul, and wasn’t limited to cookie-cutter perfect presentations. The chicken livers were exceptionally good as tapas, and the delightful selection of pastries at the end of the meal really made me smile. Service? Quite honestly the level of service I receive influences my impression of a place, and Connexxion made a brilliant impression on me because of the lovely host and waitress that waited on me. I’d made a few outrageous requests and they were such sports. Ambience? I didn’t really ‘get’ the style of the restaurant. It was a bit bland for my taste, and the light over my table was too bright (to their credit though, it was too bright because an older couple next to me had been reading a newspaper), but for a restaurant that’s geared more for its hotel clientele, most notably at breakfast time, it was an interesting experience. I would suggest to locals looking for something different, to try it out, but to sit outside near Somerset Road. Pricing? I think the prices are pretty much in line with what you get – not too expensive but not a steal either. Overall impression? Although my initial impression was that the place looks a bit jumbled and that the theme isn’t woven very well right through the restaurant, I ended up having such a great time. The staff are what colour-in your experience here, and with such a fabulous Cape brush that if I were a tourist, I would leave Connexxion feeling enriched with a few new Kaapse words and stories. This is definitely a place locals should try out. FOR THE MODERN MAN

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M EAT & DRINK

BEEFCAKES

40 Somerset Road (Sovereign Quay), De Waterkant, Cape Town - 021 425 9019

Reviewed by Hein Scholtz

Your first impression? A favourite of Cape Town’s ‘it’ crowd, this unashamedly camp restaurant is the only one of its kind, and wears its tiara proudly. Thoughts on the menu? The menu cleverly plays on innuendo and is camp and oldschool. Although it’s a burger joint, the menu is flexible and offers you the option to enjoy a salad, or even swop a burger bun(s) with a tortilla wrap. Flexibility is what makes this menu work. Beverages? Since the place is a haven for the fun-loving and beautiful people of the gay scene, there are more than enough alcoholic drinks to get your pink on. The only thing you won’t find at the bar is a varied wine selection. Then again, it’s not really that kind of a place! Food? Burgers burgers burgers. It’s not much of a selection, but then again, it is a burger bar. At least you can have a salad instead of the buns if you are watching your weight, or you can have a wrap if you want to shake things up. You could even have a 200g fillet steak if you want – but that is about it. Service? What makes this place even more special is the service: the scantily clad college boys in tight shirts and jeans (or shirtless if he’s a barman) smile coyly at you as you place your order. What’s not to love? Ambience? The ambience is merry throughout the year. There are karaoke competitions and drag shows, and straight and gay people flock from both abroad and locally to Beefcakes for the ambience. There is even a basement level reserved for men only, called The Locker Room, and it can be hired for private functions. Totally awesome. Pricing? Although alcohol is never going to be cheap at a reputable eatery, it is affordable, as is the food. There is a cover charge on some nights when there is entertainment, but again, that is do-able. Overall Impression? From beginning to end Beefcakes will be your one-stop camp shop. From indulging in ogling competitions, to enjoying the food, to singing along with your favourite drag artist, fun is the theme here, and Beefcakes does it with flair. Oh and there’s more good news: the owners are considering opening a second Beefcakes in one of SA’s other major cities.

AMI RESTAURANT & CHAMPAGNE BAR 101 LANCASTER AVENUE, CRAIGHALL PARK, JOHANNESBURG - 011 447 4848

Your first impression? My first impression of Ami was one of old-school glamour mixed with modern opulence. The venue is decorated with small, personal touches and no expense has been spared. You feel drawn in by the romantic fairy lights in the trees and classic movies playing on an outdoor big screen as you walk past. Thoughts on the menu? The set menu is presented simply. Diners are spoilt for choice; from the Blue Cheese and Pear Springrolls to the Ostrich Carpaccio (an unusual combination of aubergines and fresh blueberries). The menu fails to list any accompaniments but the staff are helpful and knowledgeable about the food (and wine) they serve. Beverages? The winelist is inspired and fresh – definitely the work of a sommelier. There are wines for every palate, budget and connoisseur. Staff are good at suggesting food and wine pairing, with a decent offering by the glass. Of course, the Champagne bar which serves unlimited bubbly, is a must for any celebratory dinner. A full bar with a wide range of whiskeys and liqueurs, and a good selection of classic and virgin cocktails, is also available. Food? Starters arrived promptly and were explained in detail. The Ostrich Carpaccio was artistically presented and the flavours of the Blue Cheese and Pear Springrolls balanced perfectly, with none of the ingredients overshadowing another. The main course consisted of Braised Lamb Shank and Springbok, accompanied by Pea and Potato Puree – heavenly, melt-in-your-mouth, and well thought out. It was obviously the work of a chef with passion and experience. Desserts perfectly complimented the meal. Service? Ami has a classic French influence. We were served by ‘Jean Claude Van Damme’, a very well-spoken, knowledgeable and stylishly attired Congolese gentleman. He spoke fluent French and was able to explain all the terminology on the menu. Ambience? This venue is perfect for parties – large or small. Pricing? Ami caters to all your requirements and suits every budget and palette. Pricing compares to that of fine dining restaurants, but is worth every cent and Ami even surprises and over-delivers. Overall Impression? Ami definitely isn’t just another corner restaurant... with service and food as good as this, you can’t help but go back for more. 5 stars! Perfect for special occasions and first dates. A Jozi gem indeed! M

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Reviewed by sonja kapp

M COOK

Flexi-time for foodies Gone are the days when people followed one specific diet with dogmatic fervour. The latest foodie trend takes us back to our omnivorous roots, and, as Hein Scholtz discovers, is both forgiving and flexible.

et’s start by getting a few facts straight: Yes, eating meat does have more of a negative impact on the environment than eating vegetables, fruit and even dairy. Yes, it is generally more expensive to eat meat on a regular basis. And yes, it is not necessarily the healthiest of foods (enter red meat and its associated complications). That’s not even to mention the slaughter of animals for human consumption. The point is that over the past 40-odd years there has been an ever-increasing awareness of what we put in our mouths – an awareness that has seen the rise (and fall) of numerous ‘foodie introspection trends’, from vegetarianism to meat-only

diets. Needless to say, although each of these diets have their merits, whichever ones you adopt or reject ultimately comes down to one consideration: whether or not you like the food. And this is where the rather new foodie trend of flexitarianism, which has been hailed as ‘the new vegetarianism’, comes in. Flexitarianists are that evergrowing group of people who are healthconscious and want to eat less meat, but don’t want to give it up altogether. Basically, semi-vegetarians who eat as many veggies, fruits and pulses as possible but who are not averse to including the odd bit of flesh every now and then. The diet not only has the health benefits of vegetarianism (reducing the risk of several types of cancer, improving longevity and increasing lean muscle

mass, among others) but also aims to be more doable, particularly since a recent study has shown that more than a third of all die-hard vegetarians find it hard committing fully to their stringent dietary regimens. The great thing about some flexitarian recipes is that they are created with substitutions in mind, meaning that, if you so wanted, you could forego the pulses or nuts or beans and instead opt for a meatier option, such as beef, chicken or fish. What works for me is to take recipes for foods I eat often and to replace the meat component with a suitable vegetarian alternative. And, best of all, if you feel like having the meat once in a while there are no rules to break – and no guilty conscience to soothe.

Now that you have the skinny, let’s look at a recipe that could edge you towards flexitarianism.

Bean Wrap (Serves one)

PHOTOGRAPHY DEON LOURENS

Ingredients 1 large tortilla wrap (any kind - low GI, etc.) 1/3rd cup butter beans 1/3rd cup sugar beans 1/3rd teaspoon chopped chilli 1/4th teaspoon chopped garlic 1/3rd teaspoon chopped ginger 1 tablespoon sweet soy sauce 1 tablespoon low-fat mayonnaise 3-4 large butter lettuce leaves Method Get everything chopped and ready, drain the beans and put to one side. Heat the wrap in the microwave to make it pliable (about 20 seconds ought to do the trick). Alternatively, heat briefly on both sides in a saucepan. Use the back of a tablespoon to smear the mayonnaise over on side of the wrap before positioning the leaves, beans and the rest of filling in the middle of the wrap, adding soy sauce and/or salt as well as pepper to taste. Because the amount of filling needed is dependent on the size of the wrap, be careful not to use too much - practice will eventually teach you what the perfect amount for you is. Bring the top and bottom parts of the wrap in to the filled centre, fold the sides and roll the wrap. M

This recipe can be altered so as to make three to four wraps from one can each of butter and sugar beans, depending on the portion size.

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A CONTEMPORARY URBAN LIFESTYLE

The Protea Hotel Victoria Junction, originally opened its doors in 1996 and quickly became known as one of the most innovative hotels in Cape Town. Built in an industrial style, the decor included some quirky film set themes which made the hotel very popular with film and production houses. 2011 saw a complete refurbishment of the Hotel, reclaiming its reputation as a trendsetter! Technology and an environmental awareness also formed a large part of the motivation to renovate the hotel in its entirety. Situated in the urban landscape of Greenpoint, one of Cape Town’s up and coming suburbs, the location offers easy access to major Cape Town tourist attractions as well as the CBD, the Cape Town International Convention Centre and the V&A Waterfront. The hotel now offers a new contemporary urban lifestyle where you can live, work and play all within a 5 kilometre radius. Walk to the Cape Quarter Lifestyle Centre and the Greenpoint Park or cycle on the new pedestrian and cycle ways. Catch a MyCiti bus or the red Cape Town Tourism HopOn-HopOff bus to visit Clifton, Camps Bay beach or as far as Simon’s Town and Constantia! All 172 bedrooms now feature a sleek and modern design that offer environmentally friendly lighting, water-saving rain showers and energy efficient entertainment options like the Bravia LCD screens and iPod docking stations. International adaptor installations also improve services to our International guests.

THIS FABULOUS PRIZE INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING: A weekend stay for two people in a loft room at the Protea Hotel Victoria Junction in Greenpoint, Cape Town, breakfast included, R1 000 in meal and drinks vouchers, 2 x Babbelas treatments from Glasshouse for Men Spa valued at R850 each, and return airport transfers from Tusk Tours in their green-efficient vehicles, and if you’re from Cape Town they will collect you and drop you back home safely after your weekend away.

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FOR THE MODERN MAN

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