MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY
ISSUE 2 [SPRING 2008]
the death of the strong silent type [ and the rise of the metrosexual]
Brian Temba [ the Lion King Speaks ] THE CHURCH & THE BEAUTIFUL GAME IS THERE ROOM FOR FAITH IN POLITICS? THE BOURNE PSYCHOLOGY
Ed Baylis [
]
£2.50
MANDATE
PUBLISHING
www.mmqmagazine.com
3000 MILES 2 MEN 1 BOAT An Atlantic Adventure
PLUS
• THE RISE OF eco-FRIENDLY MOTORING • ‘I am not my Father’ Paul Scanlon • LIFE-CHANGING MOMENTS: MUYIWA • 2007 CONFERENCE REVIEW OUTFLOW
OCTOBER 2007
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FOREWORD
FOREWORD
A
t MMQ it has been all about deadlines, chasing contributors, many editorial meetings, proof reading again and again, raising funds, following up printers, but I can finally say, “Welcome to the Spring 2008 edition of the Mandate Men’s Quarterly (MMQ).” We are brave enough to believe that we are seeing the birth of a spiritual renewal among the men of the UK as we are transformed into being the men we were created to be. Our passion is to contribute to this process by highlighting the lives of Christian men who embody our values, practical and real Christianity that impact our everyday lives. Ed Baylis, who features on our cover, is such a man. What propels a young man to row across the Atlantic Ocean with a fellow adventurer, Stu Turnbull, to raise money for Cancer Research? And amazingly, Ed also finds time to run a business. The lead feature explores why some of the ideals of manhood learnt from our fathers’ generation have largely become redundant. ‘The Death of the
Strong Silent Type’ makes interesting reading. It is balanced by ‘The Rise of the Metrosexual’, the 21st century model. Our other features include a chat with the voice of the ‘Lion King’ himself, Brian Temba, the stage actor behind the voice of one of the most successful stage productions to hit the West End. We also catch up with Muyiwa, the talented and energetic singer, songwriter, to talk about his life changing moments, including his recent journey into fatherhood. Please look out for the new magazine website, www.mmqmagazine.com, which is out soon. It will include issue information, blogs, picture galleries, videos, subscription details and more. If you haven’t yet subscribed to the magazine please do so. If you have, please recommend it to a friend or indeed a group of friends. Enjoy! Agu Irukwu MMQ
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CONTENTS
3
Foreword
Digest
Numark TTX, Page 10
7
Men@Work
Three Men & A Theory: The Birth of Hope 2008.
8
8
Tube Watch
It’s ‘Bibles Bibles’ as London youth take matters into their own hands; ‘Siminn Ad’ causes controversy only to be axed for unrelated reasons.
In View
Church moved seven miles to new home; Padding for pedestrians; Mike Huckabee doesn’t quite make the White House but leaves a good mark all the same.
10 Incoming
The Numark TTX USB breathes new life into your vinyl.
Reboot
The Lion King Speaks, Page 11
11 The Lion King Speaks
An audience with Brian Temba.
15 She Says
Adanna Bankole wonders how true the ‘commitmentphobe’ stereotype is.
16 Books
Paul Scanlon’s ‘I Am Not My Father’.
The Rise of Eco-Friendly Driving.
Seven Keys for managing your money.
10 Ways to be a better father.
The Church or the beautiful game?
18 Motoring 19 Money
21 Fatherhood 22 Comment
25 A Man After God’s Heart
The Man of A Single Eye: Dr Okey Onuzo analyses the malady that is spiritual doublesightedness.
Conference Review 26 Mandate Men’s Conference 2007 28 Xcel Men’s Conference 2007/Christian Vision for Men Conference 2007/National Men’s Summit 2008
Features 29 The Money Revolution
30
Ed Baylis was photographed by Ade Okelarin.
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Dr John Preston argues that a change in our approach to money just might change the world.
30 3000 Miles, 2 Men, 1 Boat
Ed Baylis talks to Colin Tomlin and ‘Lanre Iroche about his Atlantic crossing.
CONTENTS Rise of the Metrosexual, Page 39
36 The Death of the Strong, Silent Type Joseph Onwuchekwa says goodbye to the man most of us grew up wanting to be.
39 The Rise of the Metrosexual
‘Lanre Iroche says hello to the man we never expected to be.
42 When God Says Nothing
George Luke discusses what happens when our prayers are met with silence.
43 Can We Have Faith In Politics?
Gareth Wallace investigates the role of Christianity in matters of the state.
44 The Bourne Psychology
The series redefined the action hero but John Zach wonders if there is something we can learn from the amnesiac spy.
46 Changing the face of Christian Fashion
Ranui Samuels explains that though the term is almost an oxymoron, it won’t be for long if these entrepreneurs have their way.
Faith In Sports 48 Simon Butler
Our ‘racing vicar’ shares the thrills of living life in the fast lane.
Toolkit
Skydiving, Page 54
51 Gadgets
The Best of Show: the best gadgets of 2007 and 2008.
Take to the air with skydiving.
The art of the perfect shave.
54 Thrills
55 Grooming
56 Health & Fitness
Choosing a workout buddy; Cholesterol lowering diets; Prostate Cancer: The Silent Killer.
CONTENTS
Editor-in-Chief Agu Irukwu Deputy Editor-in-Chief Dr Shola Adeaga Editor ‘Lanre Iroche Managing Editor Colin Tomlin Contributing Editors Technology Bukky Olawoyin Sub-Editor Tinuke Akinbulumo MANDATE MEN’S MINISTRIES 112 Brent Terrace, Brent Cross London NW2 1LT www.themandate.org www.mmqmagazine.com
Contributors George Luke is a writer and radio presenter/producer. His written work has appeared in several newspapers and magazines and he has presented the ‘World Beat’ series on UCB UK for the last eight years. George lives in London and his hobbies are music, reading and herbal teas (preferably apple-flavoured). Gareth Wallace works in Westminster as a lobbyist. He enjoys rock concerts, thoughtprovoking movies, reading about history and eating curry. To get around he enjoys cycling, sailing and driving… especially if the driving involves a certain degree of adventure. Gareth once drove a banger across the Sahara desert for charity and liked it so much he wants to do it again. Joseph Onwuchekwa is a lawyer whose first love is writing. His outlook in life is very simple: “If you get it right the first time you were either incredibly lucky or more than likely received divine assistance.” Ranui Samuels is a fashion and graphic designer with a penchant for all things streetwear. He is the owner of a clothing label, RISE Worldwide, nd a leading voice in faith-inspired fashion in the UK.
59 Life
Top London eats; 5 reasons to love cinema in 2008; Recommended Reading.
Global Village 60 Budapest
The Paris of Central Europe.
61 MMQ Recommends
European stopovers: Crete, Stockholm, Prague.
Life Changing Moments 62 Muyiwa The singer and radio personality on life’s defining experiences.
Simon Butler is Curate at St Giles’ Church, West Bridgford, near Nottingham. He writes and preaches on a wide variety of topics, with particular concern for making the church relevant to modern men. Simon is a freelance motoring journalist and spends much of his spare time behind the wheel of various racing cars. Additional Contributors Adanna Bankole, Dr Ranti Bolarinwa,
Patrick Bryan, Monima King, Dr Okey Onuzo, Dr John Preston, Otty J. Warmann, Fritha Wheeler, John Zach. layout & design: simplysumfink@yahoo.co.uk
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Men@Work: How Hope08 is coming to a community near you
I
t was dreamt up in a conversation between three men. It’s been ‘out of control’ ever since. Roy Crowne of Youth For Christ, Mike Pilavachi of Soul Survivor and Andy Hawthorne of The Message are the founders of Hope08. They say that ‘a quick chat over a cup of coffee has a lot to answer for’. After Soul In The City Roy, Andy and Mike met to discuss and mull over the ten days of ‘word and action’ evangelism that had just hit London. “And that’s when we got the bug. Why do one thing, for one week in one city – when the whole church could rise to the challenge of reaching the whole nation for the whole year and beyond?” Such a huge vision – intended not as another isolated event but as a catalyst into 2009 and beyond – would need backing. Christian organisations from around the UK were approached, and asked to lend their support. Hope08 is now working with more than 150 associate groups – “people just kept saying yes!” The original target of 500 Hope08 locations has been overtaken – by the January launch more than 1,200 locations had registered on the website. “We’re all amazingly encouraged by the response from all over the UK,” said Mike. The vision for churches to ‘do
INSIDE
DIGEST
Three men and a theory
more, do it together and do it in word and action’ has been embraced enthusiastically by people from across all denominations and age groups. “The Hope08 model is great,” said Brighton youth worker Richard Jago, “because it gives us an excuse to put together projects that we want to do. As a guy, I can do things I know my male friends will want to come to – because I’d want to go to them as well.” Hope08 for Bath are planning a citywide BBQ on July 12th this year. Hope08 Crowthorne will host ‘Hope08 Football’. The Hope Unleashed tour is an opportunity for people to bring friends to gigs staged by Hope08 in Manchester. Many social action projects are planned under the Hope08 banner. Andy Hawthorne is inviting churches to serve those around them, so that ‘we get to the point where our communities want to come to us, because we just continually keep blessing them’. In Bury St Edmunds, five lads aged 17-23 spent several evenings painting the entrance hall and toilets in the local sports hall. “It was a job no one else wanted to take on,” said Ray Balmer, secretary for Bradfield and Rougham Baptist Church. “The boys got a real buzz out of their efforts – and those helped were most grateful. Thanks to Hope08!”
Top to bottom: Roy Crowne, Mike Pilavachi, Andy Hawthorne
Vinly strikes back...Mike Huckabee...Padding London lamposts... OUTFLOW
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DIGEST | IN VIEW
TubeWatch
Church moved seven miles to its new home
W
hen the residents of Heuersdorf were unhappy about the prospect of having their homes demolished to allow access to the coal beneath them, a mining company shelled out 3 million euros moving the most picturesque aspect of their surroundings, in the hope that they’d follow. Coal mining company Mibrag paid to move the village’s 700-yearold church after the regional legislature approved plans for it to mine some 50 million tons of coal to supply the electrical power station at Lippendorf near Leipzig. The Emmaus Church, first mentioned in historical documents in 1297, transported atop a huge flatbed truck, moving at just over one mph to its new location in the town of Borna, some seven miles away. Village authorities fought the destruction of the town for years, but lost in Germany’s Constitutional Court in 2005. Most of the 320 residents have already been resettled.
‘Bibles Bibles’
I
ncreasing instances of youth violence and gang culture, much of which has been statistically linked to the absence of father figures, have led some London youth to take matters into their own hands, quite literally. Reacting to one aspect of the trend: a hand gesture popular with young people in which handguns are simulated and invisible shots fired into the air – ‘Brap! Brap!’ – young London emcees gathered to record a musical track and video. Instead of sinewy handguns these young musicians want fellow young Brits to throw their hands up in a manner reminiscent of the Queen’s wave, only that this gesture is performed with two hands and is supposed to simulate the flapping of book pages, or the pages of one book in particular: the Bible. The song, ‘Bibles, Bibles’, and its accompanying video are the brainchild of comedian Simply Andy and Impact Enterprises, an organisation aiming to aid the spreading of the Gospel through suitable media ventures. URL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=cr90nKpiGi8 (see also: www.impactenterprises.co.uk)
Padding to protect pedestrians
A
pilot scheme has been launched in London’s Brick Lane after it was found to have the highest number of ‘walking and texting’ injuries in the country. A study carried out by 118 118 found one in ten people has hurt themselves while focused on their mobile
phone screen. The charity Living Streets is so concerned that it has teamed up with the directory enquiries service to test a scheme to wrap up the nation’s lampposts. If successful, the concept will be rolled out in Birmingham, Manchester, and Liverpool.
Faith communities contribute over £2bn to UK economy
A
recent report suggests that the contribution of faith community congregations to the UK economy is well in excess of £2.1 billon. Demonstrating the extensive contribution of faith community congregations in relation to welfare provision, language, faith tourism, building use etc, the ‘Counting for Communities’ report revealed the crucial role faith has to play in contemporary society. Commissioned by voluntary sector bodies working with the Welsh Assembly Government, the audit demonstrates that faith community congregations contribute £102 million to the Welsh economy alone each year, which if projected upwards on a proportional basis for the UK as a whole would mean faith community congregations are contributing at least £2.1 billion. The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Dr Rowan Williams, warmly welcomed the report. “Counting Communities demonstrates just what an extensive and valuable role faith communities play in today’s society,” he said. “The contribution made by Christians and people of other faiths to public life in Wales that is revealed in this report, offers both example and encouragement to us all. I hope that the report is widely read, not only in Wales, but also in all parts of the United Kingdom.” OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
Síminn Ad
A
n ad which raised a few eyebrows with its portrayal of events of the Last Supper has been pulled, not because of alleged blasphemous content but because the design agency overlooked the fact that a service offered by an unrelated company was used in the advert. The ad, for Icelandic telecommunications company, Síminn, which runs under the tagline “3G - Changing the course of history”, was the idea of comedian and a devout Roman Catholic Jón Gnarr and advertising agency EnnEmm, and was only greenlit after approval of the script by the office of the Bishop of Iceland. The ad is set on the night Jesus is betrayed, with Jesus and his disciples preparing for their final meal together when they realise that Judas isn’t there. At this point Jesus places a call to the absent disciple on his Síminn 3rd Generation mobile phone and engages him in a video conversation, during which the hapless Judas, who had been engaging uniformed soldiers in bawdy jokes, forgets that he’s conducting a video call and allows the transaction over the betrayal to be witnessed by those in the upper room. It is rather ironic that before a sizeable number of people could get up in arms about the campaign it had to be withdrawn because Jesus and Judas engaged in their conversation using a Vodafone plan. URL: www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DsPraSfqmU
DIGEST | IN VIEW
THE DARK HORSE
He was never really in the running for the White House, but in an election in which he lived in the shadow of his rivals, Mike Huckabee has come out a winner.
M
ike Huckabee was out to show people the American dream is still alive. From 1996-2007, Huckabee served as the 44th Governor of Arkansas. When he left office on January 9, 2007, he set out on a nationwide tour to promote his fifth book, “From Hope to Higher Ground: 12 STOPS to Restoring America’s Greatness,” a document which revealed his optimistic vision for what America can become with the right kind of leadership and a clear direction. A significant part of his adult life was spent as a pastor and denominational leader, a period which saw him become the youngest ever president of the Arkansas Baptist State Convention, the largest denomination in Arkansas. He led rapidly growing congregations and said the experiences gave him a deep sense of the problems faced by individuals and families. In an election in which the spotlight has been monopolised by the media-friendly battle between Democrat candidates and populist choices, Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton,
Huckabee put together a campaign that, while it was always unlikely to secure his party’s nomination, made many in his country sit up and take notice. Huckabee expectedly lost out as the Republican candidate to Arizona Senator John McCain. In truth, it was a no-contest, and Huckabee only ‘rivalled’ McCain following the withdrawal of Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney, who suspended his campaign in a bid to unite the Conservative party against the Democrats two big hitters. Until then he had been trailing both men. What is without question is that Huckabee fought a good fight, and while his results in the primaries surprised no-one, the manner in which he stuck to his (highly principled) guns won him many new friends in an increasingly Conservative America. He was, after all, a man who, in the era of politically correct soundbites, presented the following viewpoints: • The First Amendment requires that expressions of faith be neither prohibited nor preferred. We should not banish religion from the public square, but should guarantee access to all voices and views. • My faith is my life - it defines me. [It] doesn’t influence my decisions, it drives them. I don’t separate my faith from my personal and professional lives. • Our nation was birthed in a spirit of faith - not a prescriptive one telling us whether to believe, but one acknowledging that a providence pervades our world. • No candidate has a stronger record on the sanctity of life than I do. I have always been actively and aggressively pro-life. I first became politically active when I helped pass Arkansas’ Unborn Child Amendment, which requires the state to do whatever it can to protect life. • I support and have always supported passage of a federal constitutional amendment that defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman. As President, I will fight for passage of this amendment. My personal belief is that marriage is between one man and one woman, for life. So while the White House always seemed beyond him, Huckabee was still able to prove that a man can stand for his principles even in the glare of an intense media spotlight.
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DIGEST | INCOMING
digital throwback
I
n 1988, five years after the launch of CDs, an estimated 200 million vinyl albums were sold worldwide, much of which are gathering dust in lofts, cellars and secondhand shops. Luckily it’s now easier than ever to spin that vinyl or cassette tape for one last time and digitally resurrect its sweet, sweet sound. Legendary Numark turntable performance, USB connectivity and the convenience of your iPod are fused together for the first time in the Numark Tti, a USB turntable with built-in universal dock for iPod which easily transfers your old vinyl collection to your iPod. The Tti’s integrated line-level output allows quick, easy connection to any mixer for instant playback from your iPod or vinyl records. It includes EZ Vinyl Converter 2 (PC) and EZ Audio Converter (MAC); the former analyzes your vinyl and automatically retrieves album, artist and song information, the latter lets you easily enter track information. So, whether you’re a Mac or PC user, you can digitally archive your collection in just a few mouse clicks.
Numark TTX USB|£295
www.numark.com
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RECONSTRUCTING MANHOOD
REBOOT the lion king speaks
“
Hi, how are you?” Brian Temba’s first venture into English society (he visited his local Co-Op) was greeted at first with blank stares and then with spontaneous laughter. This being a reaction other than what he was used to, he inquired as to what was so amusing about his warm salute. “There’s no one like you around here,” someone offered. Truer words have rarely been spoken, and in a part of the world where trust, and even courtesy, is seldom extended to strangers, Brian is a breath of fresh air. “[Despite that experience] I haven’t stopped doing that even today,” he tells MMQ, “because I’m used to it. I step out of my house, greet my neighbours and say ‘hi’ to everyone that I meet. Even on the phone to phone operators I’m [inquiring after their wellbeing].” It might be his South African upbringing, or it could be down to his two year sojourn in Los Angeles. Either way, when you first meet Brian Temba you feel like you’ve known him for a long time. Brian is best known on British shores for playing Simba, the lead character in the Disney stage classic, The Lion King, a story of redemption for a young lion cub who wrongly believes he was responsible for his father’s death. Beyond April (when he leaves the show) it is highly likely that he will be better recognised as an a
INSIDE
‘I Am Not My Father’...Faith & Sport...Rise of Eco-motoring... OUTFLOW
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“I think that if you write it down and pray about it, and it’s good for you, God will approve it.” 12 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 12 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
REBOOT | BRIAN TEMBA altogether different kind of performer. MMQ met with him in his home in … and retreated to his home studio, where the finishing touches were being put on his debut album, Something Better, due for release in early March, and after being treated to a delicious mug of rooibos tea (rooibos aka redbush is a herb of South African extract), we got to know a little more about the man behind the roar. Brian, a self-confessed ‘church boy’, describes himself as a singer/songwriter/producer from South Africa. He was born in 1977 and grew up in Soshanguve, a town in Pretoria, one of the three capital cities of South Africa. Of his upbringing he says, “We weren’t poor but we were struggling”, and of the Apartheid era in which he grew up, he added, “The only time I saw a white person was when I went to town, so being able to see white people all the time, and living with them comfortably, without them racially abusing you, that’s a relief.” It’s hard to categorise Brian’s story as a ‘rags to riches’ or ‘boy done good’ tale. It’s more a tale of faith and laying hold of the opportunities that were afforded him by the environments in which he has found himself. According to him, in his early life singing was restricted to the bathroom and washing dishes, so much so that he never saw himself as a singer. But then he found Christ in 1995 and, like many great singers, his singing career kicked off in the church choir. In 1996 he joined a singing group, and went on to study business management in college the following year. At the time he used to write down on a piece of paper what he wanted to do and was going to be and that year he wrote that he wanted to sing with a contemporary gospel group in South Africa called Family Factory and that he wanted to record his first album overseas. After documenting his dreams he prayed, “Lord I don’t know what You want but this is what I’d like to do.” He decided to drop out of school in 1998, and while he is not proud of dropping out, he didn’t think that business management fit him. “It didn’t feel right,” he says. “When I’m on stage, holding a mic, that feels perfect. It feels like it’s where God wants me.” He moved to Johannesburg the same year, which, much like London and LA, is where countless South African head to in search of the fulfilment of their dreams. It was in Johannesburg that a South African singer called Vickie, who happened to be a member of Family Factory but was famous in her own right, heard him sing in church. “I used to sing soprano and I heard she was looking for me because she wanted me to be her soprano in an all-male backing group.” It was while singing backing vocals for her that he came to the attention of Sony, the label to which Family Factory was signed, who decided to employ him to sing in the South African gospel production Joyous Celebration, a group that toured across the country every year. Brian took part in four of the tours, and while he continued to sing with the group, he ticked the first box on his wish list, joining Family Factory in 1999. “I never thought I would be here,” Brian says of the path his career has taken, “[but] God paves our way, He knows where you’re going and what you’re going to be.” Brian’s Lion King adventure began in the same year. It is an unwritten rule that in every Lion King company in the world a certain number of South Africans have to be employed to authenticate the South African sound which marks out the show. “It wasn’t my plan to [audition for The Lion King]. I was going to pick up my money where the auditions were being held and my friends were planning to audition. They [wanted to] go as a group of six but there were only five of them [so they] invited me over. I didn’t want to do The Lion King but I went in, and of the six of us I was the one [who got through]. “I got a call-back and thought ‘this is interesting’, [then I] went in for a second call, for the third, the fourth, but I wasn’t excited till they said ‘Let’s go’.” When asked how he made the transition from initial hesitancy to excitement Brian responds, “It was the curiosity to see another world that [spurred me on].” In 2000 Brian was employed to do The Lion King in LA and he was there for 2½ years as part of the ensemble. With the show
scheduled to close in 2003, auditions began at the end of 2002 for the lead part of Simba for the next tour stop in Chicago. Brian auditioned for the part but found out that they couldn’t hire him for the lead role because he didn’t have a green card. Fortunately, British laws are more lenient towards South African actors so he was told to pack his bags for London. “They called me to say they’d like me to [join the London tour]. I thought they meant as part of the ensemble but [it turned out] I was wanted in the lead role. I didn’t believe it because I’d never [seen myself in that role]. I [only] auditioned to prove something to myself, not to get the role; I would have settled for understudy. “I’m terrible at auditions; I don’t like them at all. But I believe that if you put your mind to something and have enough time to do it, you can do it. [So] I sat down and decided to do it, just to prove myself wrong, [to show] that I could do something somebody was thinking I would not be able to do. So they gave me the script, I read it, acted it out with some actor friends of mine, they gave me a few pointers and I went out to do it, and just did it. Didn’t give it much thought. “I auditioned for the music director and producer and they asked why I had been hiding all that time, why I hadn’t auditioned earlier. I was like I wasn’t ready, it wasn’t time. I believe it was God’s time [when I auditioned] and God’s time is the right time. At the time [of the] audition I felt ready.” Prior to getting the part Brian would never have considered himself an actor – “The only time I’d done stage work prior to [The Lion King] was in a South African production called ‘The Lion & The Lamb’ but even then I was a backing singer” – but he has been bitten by the acting bug, making his feature film debut in the lead role of the 2007 gun crime-awareness movie Hip Hop Opera. In the future he hasn’t ruled out appearing on the big or small screen in any of the three continents he has called home. Until then he is putting the finishing touches to an album he has been working on for two years. He describes his sound as ‘R&B/ Soul’ and explains that the album is about “life and things I’ve been through personally. [It’s] about relationships with people as a whole.” MMQ was treated to snippets of the album, and while the musical quality of the material was exceptional, for Brian it’s more than just about the music. “It’s an album designed to make you think, for people to relate to. It’s a testimony as well [so] you can say it’s inspirational. It’s many things but it’s definitely not vulgar or suggestive in a sexual way because I don’t think you need to put that across [in your music]. It’s not who I am. [The album] represents who I am.” The album may not be out but that hasn’t stopped Brian’s music receiving rave reviews as he does the live circuits. “It’s amazing how God can take you from literally nothing. If I take you to my background, to where I came from you’d understand. Back home, in high school, I was like at the back, even to my best friends. So it’s amazing how God can take you and just flip the script so people can look at you and be like ‘is that the same guy?’ “We undermine what God can do most of the time. In everything I just think ‘It’s God’. There’s no way I can possibly look at all this and say ‘It’s me, I’ve done it myself, it’s because of my talent.’ It’s God all the way. From the time I wrote [those dreams] on paper and prayed about it to now.” Apart from promoting his album and being a good father to his daughter – he has a two year old daughter from a previous relationship – Brian’s future certainly looks full of promising options and opportunities, enough for him to maybe consider updating his wish list. After all, the boxes have been successfully ticked on his original list. “I think that if you write it down and pray about it, if it’s good for you [God will] approve it. He favoured me in a big way and there’s no way I can take the credit for it.” Something Better is released under the Sound of Sac music label and will be available from May in most music stores and to download on iTunes and at myspace.com/briantemba
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REBOOT | SHE SAYS
HOW TRUE IS THE STEREOTYPE?
According to long-held tradition, a man is as likely to rush into marriage as he is to spend five hours getting his hair done. Adanna Bankole has not found that to be the case.
I
love men. I really do. Most of the good friendships I have, those that have stood the test of time, happen to be with men. Maybe this is why I often find myself coming to their defence when the usual “men are rats” talk does the rounds. One of the most talkedabout subjects in this category happens to be the issue of commitment. The stereotype in society and, funnily enough, even in churches, is of men being terrified of commitment. It is claimed that they are less likely to want to settle down and, when they finally do, it tends to be much later in life than women. However, I have not found that to be the case. Quite the opposite in fact, and on more than one occasion! Hence my question is, why do men feel obliged to rush into proposing marriage? It makes me wonder if they’ve got something to hide (some irredeemable character flaw; a blood-sucking mother with a penchant for voluptuous, bespectacled aspiring writers; a criminal record; six crazy kids... I don’t know!) and frankly, it scares the living daylights out of me. Please don’t tell me you don’t know any of these charming, albeit misguided, gentlemen? Surely, they aren’t just coming my way? First case in point: I’ll call
him Mr. A. We’d been neighbours for years, and my family had a cordial relationship with his. Around the time I finished university we both became aware of the spark between us, and started to spend more time together. It was a pivotal time in my life, and we both knew it was only a matter of time before I moved to London. There were a few spanners in the works, but once these were sorted out the date of my departure was suddenly imminent. Though we both knew that time would come, it was very unexpected when it did…but his asking me to marry him was even more of a shock! I certainly hadn’t seen that coming, and thinking about it later, it was probably his way of asking me to stay. It saddened me to turn him down, but there was no question about it: I wanted to move. I had to. And there was no way I was embarking on that new journey with an engagement ring on my finger from someone who, let’s face it, I was only just starting to know. And then there was Mr. B, who I’d known from university. We’d been in the same faculty, and when I moved to the United Kingdom he’d moved to the States. We had been friends, but no great shakes. Then out of the blue one day, he asked if I would marry him. We’d known each other for years, he said, and he was crazy about me.
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What ever happened to getting to know someone, going on dates, spending time with them, telling them you like them and would like to get to know them better, if that’s alright with them?” What more could a girl want, I hear you ask, right? Wrong! Because I really am not exaggerating when I say nothing had gone on between us previously certainly nothing that hinted at the depth of his feelings or the culmination of same in what I felt was such a drastic move. So, how did I feel? Immensely flattered! But being flattered was not enough reason to get married, and I told him so. At this point he thought it would help sway
me to mention that a relative of his was one of the leaders of a church I knew, although to borrow from Shania Twain’s lyrics, that didn’t impress me much! Certainly not enough to change my mind. And so that went down the pan, as have other hastily-made proposals. I haven’t given either of these accounts out of arrogance or spite; quite the opposite in fact. I write out of concern, and perhaps, hope of some small sense of accomplishment in knowing that my hilarious love life has amused you somewhat – and trust me, the story continues! Besides, I’ve since gone on to fall for people who were completely unsuitable, or who didn’t reciprocate my feelings. So I guess it happens to everyone. And I would be the first to tell you it’s certainly not funny when one is on the receiving end. But seriously, what ever happened to getting to know someone? Going on dates, spending time with them? Telling them you like them and would like to get to know them better, if that’s alright with them? I know we are said to be the “microwave” generation, that we want to have our cake and eat it a.s.a.p. But I do find this a tad ridiculous. I am no expert in matters of the heart, and I do not claim to be skilled in the language of love. Nah, it ain’t one of my core competencies. But this much I know: as much as I would love to settle down at some point, I won’t be rushed into making a decision. I do think that there are a couple of reasons for this interesting phenomenon. Culturally, I find that people of African descent have a bee in their bonnets about getting hitched, particularly as one approaches what is considered to be ‘a certain age’. The focus slowly shifts from finding the right person, to the fact that “All your friends are married”, “Is anything the matter?”, “So Adanna, what’s happening on the man front, now?” or, get this: “Tell us if you’re gay - we’ll understand”! Citing direct or indirect pressure a
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She Says Continued from Page 15
from family and friends may sound feeble, but it can be a considerable force to reckon with. Couple this with the fact that many ethnic groups go as far as to rank married men and women as being higher in the social hierarchy than their single counterparts, and there lies a recipe for untimely, and perhaps, disastrous marriages. The second reason has to do with religious persuasion, and I refer particularly to the Christian faith. My experience is that as Christians, we can fail to see the need to take responsibility for our lives our emotions, our thoughts, our mistakes. It’s either God or the devil. Nothing is ever remotely connected to using our God-given freewill of course, and perish the thought of actually being personally accountable! If I am late for an interview, for instance, arrive scruffy and unprepared, it has nothing to do with me. The devil was clearly at work there. And if I am attracted to someone, I feel obliged to say that God has directed me to my life partner. Never mind that as people find that one relationship and perhaps, the next, doesn’t turn out quite as planned, they could end up being “directed” to quite a number of people before they finally meet Miss. or Mr. Right! Please do not misconstrue my meaning. I do not discount that God is involved in our daily lives - because He is - or that He works all things out for our good - because He does, even when we can’t see it. But as Christians we often jump the gun, claiming that He has spoken things to us about our lives that He may not necessarily have. And it’s no crime if He hasn’t; it’s okay to like the girl for who she is, all by yourself. If she ends up becoming your wife at some point, that’s great. And what if she doesn’t? Subject to your intentions and actions being honourable and sincere, it’s alright to say that you thought she was “The One”, but have since discovered she isn’t. You may learn something from that relationship that will be of benefit further down the line. Who knows, you may even make a lifelong friend. Why do we find that concept such a bitter pill to swallow? So, gentlemen, I intend to resist the temptation to bow to either cultural or religious traditions and marry on a whim. Of course I use the word “temptation” loosely, because first of all, I do not mean to imply that the institution of marriage has negative connotations. Secondly, in spite of all I have written, I do look forward to the closeness, companionship, friendship and intimacy that come with marriage. However, marriage is enough of an adventure where the right foundation is laid. Why would I significantly reduce the odds of making a roaring success of it by not giving myself the chance to “scope” out the object of my affections thoroughly before taking that leap? Take it from me, there’s nothing wrong with taking it slow! 16 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 16 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
REBOOT | BOOKS
‘I AM NOT MY FATHER.’
His experience with his father, coupled with his experience from mentoring men, led Paul Scanlon to write a book about it. 1. My book is about changing who we are and not what we do. We are not beaten in life by what we can’t do but who we won’t become, so despite people’s attempts to do better many stay the same or even get worse. We need to recognise that doing springs from being and being springs from thought. To change our being we must start with our thinking and this is serious work. The day my life changed was not the day my circumstances changed, but the day I said to myself ‘I am not my Father’. 2. Fathering has been in need of an extreme makeover for decades, but until a generation of sons is willing to draw a line and say ‘This stops here, now, with me’, it will never get better. During almost thirty years of helping people grow, I’ve all too often had to help sons deal with the same issues I helped their fathers deal with years earlier. When those sons became fathers themselves they began a complete repeat performance of their fathers’ dysfunctions which are now being visited on a third generation. I hate this cycle and I want it to stop. 3. Our fathers are our first shepherds, our first protectors, providers and nurturers. When they were smitten we all got scattered and, like sheep without a shepherd, we became vulnerable to the predators of the unfathered. We fell prey to the emptiness we couldn’t define and a void we couldn’t fill. We fell prey to the directionless living and like ships without a rudder, we were blown off course and lost. Many fell prey to the pursuit of a validation their fathers couldn’t provide. That journey for millions has been long, difficult, harmful and is still without resolve. We fell prey to gangs, peer groups, co-dependent relationships and addictions which seemed to offer us the relief from a pain we did not understand. 4. None of us can go back and fix our father’s poor fathering; we cannot pay it backwards. We cannot fix the past, only create the future, and to do that we must dare to be different
in the present. 5. While I was on the phone in my office one day, my secretary placed a note on in front of me, which read, ‘Your father is here’. I finished the call, called her in and said, “What do you mean my Father?” I was freaked out, to say the least. I hadn’t seen him for almost 20 years. I felt nervous, awkward, embarrassed and had no idea what to say to him; my father was as much of a stranger as any man in the street. I didn’t know how to be alone with him, nor him with me. But there we were, kind of stuck with each other, alone for the first time in my adult life. It was then I decided to try and have our first ever father-son moment by reminiscing about the only childhood memory I had of being alone with him. Rather awkwardly he went there with me, and like two strangers who once had a day out together we clumsily replayed the tape as if we were giving evidence that it actually happened to us both. That was it the first serious ‘from the heart’ thing I’d ever said to my Father. Weeks later the phone rang. It was my mother asking if she and my father could come and visit us. They arrived and ate with us in our home for the first time in twenty years. I sat across the room and watched our girls surround him on the couch, hugging him and calling him ‘Grandad’, something he had never been to them. I watched as he began to melt; this hard-bitten coal miner, from a background and time where men didn’t cry, was crying on the inside. They stayed for three hours and as we showed them out, the girls hugging their newfound Grandad, I went to touch his shoulder and say goodbye but he turned, took my hand in a manly shake, looked me in the eye and said ‘Son, I have not been a good Father to you have I? I’m sorry’. Before I could even breathe, he was gone. There was so much I wanted to say and he knew it, and that’s why he held it until he was leaving. For him it was a statement, not a conversation, and I could live with that. Paul Scanlon’s ‘I Am Not My Father’ is available at www.alm.org.uk/shop
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REBOOT | MOTORING
THE RISE OF ECO-FRIENDLY DRIVING
With the effects of motoring on the environment increasingly being brought to the fore Bukky Olawoyin wonders if it isn’t time we gave our driving a rethink.
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ccording to a study conducted by the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine and King’s College London the Congestion Charge has saved almost 2,000 lives in London. Lower levels of pollution have meant a 16% improvement in the air quality in London since measuring for this study began in 2003. The researchers admit that the benefits are small but Ken Livingstone will be glad to know that his traffic reduction measures are having a major impact on the health of the city’s population. Saving the environment is a major theme in today’s economics, and in terms of motor vehicle pollution the biggest losers would be the manufacturers. Which is why, rather than reducing production numbers, car companies are designing environmentally friendly vehicles. After all, even they want to cash in on the Global Warming phenomenon. Hybrids Hybrid cars used to be viewed as a curiosity, in the same vein as electric cars used to be, so much so that only two Japanese 18 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 18 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
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It is time we began to consider the effects our lifestyles have on the environment we inhabit, as the less capable it is to preserve us, the less able we are to enjoy the very things we might otherwise be unwilling to sacrifice.” companies bothered to go to the trouble and expense of producing models. They were very expensive and only the most
devoted environmentalists seemed willing to buy one. Then the moral barometer of 21st century Western life, Hollywood, saw the potential in being seen as eco-friendly and a new trend emerged as some of the most famous faces in the world clambered over each other to be seen in a Toyota Prius on the boulevards of Hollywood or attaching their popularity to an ecofriendly project. Suddenly sales of hybrids surged, as the people took notice, and now the other manufacturers are hard at work on their own versions, with some luxury lines now emerging in the Lexus range. A hybrid is derived from heterogeneous sources. In cars, the power train is made up of two distinct elements, usually a petrol engine and some form of electric motor or generator. This works in two ways: the electric motor can propel the car forward at low speeds, reducing fuel consumption and eliminating emissions completely. Alternatively a powerful motor is allied to a decent engine and the result is performance that would usually only be found with a larger engine. The upshot is less fuel consumption for a given level of performance. I personally don’t believe that hybrids will save the planet from extinction, but they certainly have their place in automotive history, with each new generation improving on the concept and the cost of the technology falling all the time. If recent concept cars are anything to go by, we could all be driving vehicles that mix a fuel-cell with an electric motor and generator in the future. One thing’s for sure: hybrids are here to stay. Liquefied Petroleum Gas Although it’s not likely that the UK will ever rely solely on natural gas for its vehicles, the use of this abundant resource could in part alleviate the use of petrol and diesel fuels. In places like Asia, for example, natural gas-based fuels are widely used, with some governments even legislating its use in certain transport sectors, mostly in the public arena. In the UK many older, large capacity cars, mostly SUVs (Sport Utility Vehicles), have been converted to run on LPG (or Autogas) with a large storage tank in the boot, while retaining the ability to run on petrol when no LPG is available. This makes sense as not all fuel stations vend LPG… yet. The advantage to the owner is mainly a much lower fuel cost, with the actual price per unit volume less than half that of petrol at the time of writing (although the fuel is less energy dense so overall savings are more like 40%). This has been the main motivation for car owners, particularly since the government keeps increasing the tax on fuel – currently at a whopping 90%. An ecological benefit is a significant reduction in emissions, with carbon dioxide pollutants estimated at 20% less than the equivalent petrol engine, and other toxic compounds reduced dramatically. It is possible to convert most petrol cars to LPG if required, though the conversion itself is not always cheap and may require the reduction of luggage capacity, thanks to the addition of a large additional fuel tank in the boot. Some car companies offer
REBOOT | MONEY new cars as bi-fuel models, particularly Saab, Nissan, Ford, Volvo and Vauxhall, which offer the best, integrated solutions. Some of these would make you eligible for congestion charge avoidance, which is why there may be an increase in the sales of bi-fuel vehicles on the UK market in the near future. Until now, there hasn’t been much of an escape route for diesel drivers. The solution appears to be the “LPGDiesel Mix”, a concept that enables large diesel engines to run on a mixture of LPG and diesel, resulting in reduced exhaust emissions and fuel cost savings. The technology has been developed by a number of equipment manufacturers and is currently undergoing extensive investigation by BP to ensure the emissions benefits are significant and fit in with the overall environmental strategy of the UK government as a whole. Bio-Diesel I’d hazard a guess that you’ve heard about the possibility of running diesel cars on old vegetable oil from your local chippie or Top Gear. Well it’s true; in certain circumstances it is possible but do not think for a minute that petroleum companies are trying to sell you used chip fat in the form of bio-diesel. Bio-diesel produced from vegetable oils undergoes a significant amount of chemical processing (TransEsterification). It is much like regular diesel and its availability is steadily increasing. One piece of good news for diesel drivers is that nearly all modern diesel cars can operate on bio-diesel without modification, though owners should consult the manufacturer before use. Other potential sources of bio-diesel exist, including waste products such as old tyres, and even algae, but it’s unlikely that bio-diesel will prove the long-term solution to the environmental problem. For one, there isn’t enough waste vegetable oil in the world to go round. Ethanol-Fuelled Cars Ethanol is a form of alcohol, and in this area the UK is lagging behind other countries. Brazil, for instance, boasts a fleet of new cars of which 80% can run on any combination of alcoholbased fuel or traditional petrol. Admittedly there is a bit of confusion regarding Ethanol. In Europe, bio-ethanol is currently sold as E85, a name suggesting that it contains 85% ethanol, with the remainder being petrol, when in fact the ethanol should be referred to as bio-ethanol because it is obtained from biological sources (i.e. plants). Looking at the plusses, an engine can run at a higher compression ratio if running on ethanol, thanks to a higher effective octane rating. Admittedly that’s no good for an engine that must also reliably run on petrol, but it does mean that engines with advanced valve control and knock sensing can run higher effective compression ratios. There is also the potential for a significant increase in performance, especially in a supercharged or turbocharged engine. What’s more, the amount of carbon monoxide and oxides of nitrogen produced when burning ethanol are significantly reduced. The reduction in the emission of carbon dioxide (‘greenhouse gas’) is negligible, but the argument is that CO2 is extracted from the environment in growing the crops to produce the fuel in the first place. There are plenty of downsides too. In practical terms, engines require modification to allow optimal running on ethanol, while the lower energy density of the fuel means that an engine uses more of it over a given distance. Presently, there are not enough filling stations around the country to allow owners make full use of the fuel, but that situation is changing. That said, the current production method for bioethanol requires huge swathes of land to produce the crop and it will never be practical to switch all of the world’s vehicles to the fuel until an alternative production method is found. Even though the sceptics abound on the subject of eco-friendly motoring, it is high time we all began to consider the effects our lifestyles have on the environment we inhabit, as the less capable it is to preserve us, the less able we are to enjoy the very things we might otherwise be unwilling to sacrifice. As unwilling as we may be to consider giving driving up entirely, opportunities are becoming increasingly available to reduce the impact it has on the planet.
Seven Keys for Managing your Money by Monima King Tithing Committing to giving God 10% of your income actually makes you a better steward of the remaining 90% than most who hold on to their post-tax 100%. This is the concept of ‘less is more’, and however faithful you are in little will show God that you can be faithful in plenty.
Planning Have a financial plan; don’t keep a ‘mental note’ of your incomings and outgoings as you will lose track of them eventually. And there is nothing more dangerous than not knowing where your money is going. Earning more money will never solve your financial problems. It will be like pouring more water to fill up a bucket that is riddled with holes. This doesn’t have to be very scientific; simply keep a record of your income and expenses and examine your bank statements at least on a monthly basis. Once you’ve done this, you’ll be able to plan more clearly how to get out of debt, what to save, what to spend and how to invest.
Bad Debt Bad debt is usually brought about by bad spending habits, which are usually brought about by bad decisions. So the key to plugging the burning hole in your pockets is to examine the financial decisions you make, and change your thinking. Ultimately your decisions are based on your thinking, which you can transform
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Have a financial plan; don’t keep a ‘mental note’ of your incomings and outgoings.”
by the constant renewal of your mind (Romans 12:2). Then with the help of good planning you can devise a way to get out of debt, through a combination of cultivating good habits, so you don’t add to your debt, and setting aside a monthly amount to pay away your existing debt. Commit to paying this away as aggressively and quickly as possible so that you can start putting more of your cash into savings and investments.
Savings Every person who works full-time should have a savings account that they make regular payments into for a rainy day. The only exception should be if more urgency is required in clearing your bad debt than in paying into your savings account (There is little point saving small sums of cash at 5% p.a. while you’re paying 24% p.a. on a huge credit card bill). Other than that, if you’re able to, it’s normally recommended that you save between 10 and 15 percent of your income. For the seven years of plenty in Egypt, Joseph recommended saving a fifth of the harvest to store up for the years of famine (Genesis 41:34). Put it this way: if you can afford to save 20% of your income, then you are definitely in your years of plenty so you ought to consider that years of famine may yet come.
Spending habits Bad spending habits usually result in bad debt, but even if we are a
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not in debt, we must strive to ensure that we aren’t throwing money away unnecessarily. Addictive habits, such as smoking, usually cost a small fortune and kicking a drinking habit can save the average person hundreds of pounds a year. Personally, I’ve seen a change in my phone habits reduce my monthly bills from over £100 a month to barely £30. Our desires are usually linked to how we desire to be viewed in the eyes of others. It’s interesting that Proverbs 13:7 says, “One man pretends to be rich, yet has nothing; while another pretends to be poor, yet has great wealth”. Don’t kid yourself by trying to keep up with the Joneses; do what is necessary to get the little you have to work for you. Sometimes we have to recognise the value in sacrificing present wants for future benefits.
Investing You’ve come out of debt, you’ve got your spending under control, and you’re saving on a consistent basis. Now you can turn your attention to investing. If you are a risk adverse person, you’ll probably be content with saving every extra penny you get, but you shouldn’t let fear stop you from making well-considered and researched investments. The parable of the talents actually shows us that putting your money in the bank to receive interest is the absolute minimum we ought to do (Matthew 25:26). I believe this parable encourages us to invest what we’ve been
blessed with, be it money, assets, talents or abilities. And if you consider that the two faithful servants both made 100% return on their investments, this should encourage us to think outside the box – the sky is no longer the limit, outer space is! Having an ISA with an attractive 6% p.a. rate on your savings is good, but in many countries the level of inflation of house prices, goods and services can be so high that it pays to develop good entrepreneurial and investment ideas that will keep you ahead of the times.
Good Debt The most obvious is a mortgage. It is a big financial commitment but most young people are advised to get unto the property ladder as soon as they can. It’s a debt you must repay and though it may seem cheaper to rent, especially in the current environment of increasing interest rates, until you become your own landlord, you will never be able to participate in the increase in property prices. In a place like London, property value usually goes up in the long-term because demand only increases. In recent years there have been tales of people receiving up to 400% increase on their London homes in a space of less than ten years. The other instances where debt could be good for you is when you perhaps have the cash to pay for something such as a computer, television or even a car upfront, but you’ve decided to put your money to work for you elsewhere, while you make monthly payments at a relatively low borrowing rate to fund the purchase of your new appliance. For example, if you know can get a 20% return on your investment, you should be happy to borrow at an interest rate of 6%. 20 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 20 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
REBOOT | FATHERHOOD
10 WAYS TO BE A BETTER FATHER A father is the benchmark in his children’s lives, and their future successes and failures rest on the examples he sets for them. What model are you laying down for your children today?
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ore and more fathers today are taking a more active role in the lives of their children. Discover how ten simple things you can do immediately can have a dramatic effect on your parent-child relationship...and in your child’s future, too.
Respect Your Children’s Mother If you are married, keep your marriage strong and essential. If you’re not married, it is still important to respect and support the mother of your children. When children see their parents respecting each other, they are also more likely to feel that they are also accepted and respected.
Spend Time with Your Children How a father spends his time tells his children what’s important to him. If you always seem too busy for your children, they will feel neglected, no matter what you say. Treasuring children often means sacrificing other things, but it is essential to spend time with your children.
Earn the Right to Be Heard A l l too
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Even after they leave home, children will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. ” often, the only time a father speaks to his children is when they have done something wrong. Begin talking with your kids when they are young, so that difficult subjects will be easier to handle as they get older. Take time and listen to their ideas and problems.
Discipline with Love All children need guidance and discipline, not as punishment, but to set reasonable limits. Remind your children of the consequences of their actions and provide meaningful rewards for desirable behavior. Fathers who discipline in a calm and fair manner show love for their children.
Be a Role Model Fathers are role models to their kids, whether they realize it or not. A girl who spends time with a loving father grows up knowing she deserves to be respected by boys. Fathers can teach sons what is important in life by demonstrating honesty, humility and responsibility.
Be a Teacher Too many fathers think teaching is something others do. But a father who teaches his children about right and wrong, and encourages them to do their best, will see his children
make good choices. Involved fathers use everyday examples to help their children learn the basic lessons of life.
Eat Together as a Family Sharing a meal together can be an important part of healthy family life. In addition to providing some structure in a busy day, it gives kids the chance to talk about what they are doing and want to do. It is also a good time for fathers to listen and give advice.
Read to Your Children Children learn best by doing and reading, as well as seeing and hearing. Begin reading to your children when they are very young. When they are older, encourage them to read on their own. Instilling your children with a love for reading is one of the best ways to ensure they will have a lifetime of personal and career growth.
Show Affection Children need the security that comes from knowing they are wanted, accepted and loved by their family. Parents need to feel both comfortable and willing to hug their children. Showing affection every day is the best way to let your children know that you love them.
Realize That a Father’s Job is Never Done Even after children are grown and ready to leave home, they will still look to their fathers for wisdom and advice. Fathers continue to play an essential part in the lives of their children as they grow and, perhaps, marry and build their own families. Courtesy of The National Fatherhood Initiative: www.fatherhood.org
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REBOOT | COMMENT Essentially, I’m led to believe that church characterises an arena that does not satisfy men and is foreign to our most documented needs, which range from the need for a ‘hero’ figure, a challenge or competition, to simply feeling needed and having our presence duly acknowledged. It is therefore no surprise that sport is a language we understand. Don’t be too quick to raise an eyebrow when I say that there are a great number of parallels between Christianity and the beautiful game, football (or any sport for that matter). We may refer to them using different terms, but essentially they are the same and might allow for better understanding of our role and function as men. Allow me to illustrate.
THE CHURCH OR THE BEAUTIFUL GAME? It’s a statistically proven fact: men hate church. Otty J.Warmann isn’t convinced that’s the way it should be, and looks to one of our greatest loves - sport - for encouragement.
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s an avid fan and practitioner of sports I know that if Jesus had told more of his parables using sports analogies, Christianity and the concept of church would be a lot easier for me, and most men, to understand. Much fuss has been generated over the years regarding the lack of male presence in churches today (simply reading the first edition of MMQ will illustrate that our under-representation is no secret) and research has identified what is believed to be the principal cause of this reality: the perceived notion that attending church and engaging in practices that accompany is an altogether emasculating 22 OUTFLOW
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I have a dream that one day women will follow their men to football games and to church.” experience. Words such as ‘expression’, ‘feminine’, ‘weak’ and ‘vulnerable’ have been bandied around in discussion over this topic.
One Body (or One Team) I’ve always found it amazing what a group of men can do when they pull together and exhibit great team-based qualities. They seem to be able to rise up against any adversity and will seemingly do anything for their team mate. If the opposition thinks to attack one man, he’d better be prepared to face others all too willing to make him think twice before pulling such a stunt again. Or if a player is hospitalised I am assured that his team mates would be the first well-wishers at his bedside. The 12th chapter of Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians is classic in its depiction of how the church should think and function and is easily applicable to describe how teams work. The first verse says, ‘The body [team] is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body [team].’ Verses 25 and 26 go on to say, ‘…there should be no division in the body [team], its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part [player] suffers, every part [player] suffers with it; if one part [player] is honoured, every part [player] rejoices with it [him].’ Remember, this is written concerning the church and not Arsenal or Chelsea, but one could be forgiven for the confusion. There is certainly something about a good team that creates an affinity in the psyche of men. From a personal perspective, I’ve enjoyed the camaraderie and the feeling of having what is effectively a second family. I’m sure we have all read or heard of the Early Church and how no member of it wanted for anything. If another was in need, somebody with more would go as far as selling their possession(s) to provide for it (Acts 4 v.32-35). All this sounds like teamwork to me. Spiritual Battles (or Competition) Certainly, one concept that excites us men is competition. I am naturally competitive and enjoy being able to differentiate between a winner and, dare I say it, a loser (or the one who came second for the diplomatic among you). Sport inherently caters to this need and on the surface it is easy to assume that church cannot, but this is a notion I beg to differ. Consider the number of times you have heard the words ‘victory’, ‘battle’, ‘overcome’, ‘warfare’ or ‘armour’ in church settings. The reason for this is because every day we are in competition. Essentially our spirit battles for power over our flesh and this is exhibited in so many ways. Specific examples are what we
choose to believe concerning ourselves, our response to adversity, or how we react to the person who cuts us up on the road. I would contend that this competition is more intense than any football game, with far greater stakes. Instead of competing for bragging rights at work as you congregate at the coffee machine, you are essentially competing for your inheritance. Ponder that for a moment and truly consider if you are up for the challenge. Emotion (or Passion) Let’s face it; this can be a tough one to deal with. I can only imagine what goes through a man’s head entering church for the first time and seeing so many women shouting praise to God with their hands raised. Some may even be speaking in tongues, jumping or making expressive gestures. The question ‘Why?’ will likely feature in the running conversation his head is entertaining. Well the long and short of it is that their excitement is borne of the fact that a man died for their undeserved redemption and in the process decided to take on death; and win. That would certainly make the highlights of Sky Sports News, yet we label such behaviour emotional. But let’s return to our language. We congregate around our TVs to watch our favoured team, vociferously sing all the songs (is that praise and worship?) and are ready to explode should our team score. In fact, such is the zeal with which we celebrate that to sustain an injury is not uncommon. Nor is it unheard of for players to go as far a kissing each other, such is the joy of scoring. I understand that there are those who are more reserved but have the same love for their God or football team as the ‘emotional types’. My concern is that there are those whose reservation is a result of a myth that says it is not acceptable for men to be expressive in church. To further illustrate my point, imagine a female attending a football game who felt it was out of place to jump and shout when her team scored and instead stood clapping quietly while muttering ‘well done’ under her breath. The point is this: worship as you feel inclined, but don’t feel that any outward ‘passion’ is frowned upon. The Saviour (or The Go-To-Guy) This could be the breaker. Come on men; we either like being associated with a man-made saviour, or being that saviour ourselves. Whichever we allude to is determined by our ambition, but one of the two is in all of us. We marvel at such people and label them geniuses and winners. Why? Because upon them hinge so many of our other ideals. The saviour ensures we have a successful team, which will in turn give us reason to be passionate and thus allow our appetite for competing to be enjoyed. For example, take Michael Jordan off the Championship-winning Chicago Bulls and I am certain they would have fewer followers today. Remove Cristiano Ronaldo or Wayne Rooney from Manchester United’s squad and I’m sure supporters wouldn’t be quite as keen to check the scores. This only supports my confusion as to why we are under-represented in church where the greatest saviour in history, bar none, takes centre place! This is a man
who in all his battles went undefeated. He loved the church, which he referred to as his ‘bride’, and fought for her. If he walked earth today, I’m sure his sponsorship and endorsement deals would dwarf that of Beckham, Tiger and Hamilton combined, if he was that way inclined. So wouldn’t you go to him when the game is on the line? Yet we still drag our feet. In the same way that women drop their shoulders when men say they are ‘watching the game with the boys’ (and so ruling out any hope of doing house chores), many men feel tortured if a woman suggests they attend church. This is true in spite of the allusion by Dave Murrow, author of ‘Why Men Hate Going to Church’, that “…millions of men are ready to walk with their Maker.” Our environment is a powerful shaper of the mind and it is fair to say that the current climate is not always too kind in influencing perceptions towards church. Incredibly, a staggering 90% of men (in the United States) believe in God (83% of which would define themselves as Christian), yet only 35% actually attend church regularly. Considering how sport has illustrated how church can cater to our masculine desires, figures like this prompt me to think that they aren’t. Perhaps the largely female populace in church has encouraged a push for a structure which caters to its majority (thus pushing the male further away). Or perhaps strong male figures such as David, Moses, Caleb, Daniel or Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, need to again infuse masculinity into Christianity. Ultimately, I believe there is masculinity in Christianity. Simply it is time that men opened their eyes to see it and subsequently embrace it. The season for adopting the socially constructed presumption that says it is manly to shout within the four terraces of a football ground but not the four walls of a church must pass. Men must understand that it is acceptable to display the same qualities we do at a football game in church. To borrow Martin Luther’s words briefly, I have a dream that women will follow their men to football games and to church. In both scenario’s men should lead. Can you imagine telling a female to watch the game with you and her response is, “Cool, do you want a malt or a coke?” Then the next day, you wake up first to say it’s time to go to church and you’re both singing (perhaps not the same song as yesterday) in the car. Okay, perhaps this is my fantasy, but I believe the principle stands. Men, if masculinity truly has been removed from church, let’s not wait for it to be handed back to us. Let’s put it back into the body [team], into our emotions [passion] and into our life battles [competition]. Then finally let us ensure we have assigned the right captain, because at the end of the day, there is no better team to be on than Jesus’. That game has been going on for over two thousand years, and while it’s taken its share of knocks, if you’re on that team you will always eventually win. But to make his team, much like any other team, you have to attend practice. The last time I checked, the training ground was the church. I guess I’ll see you bright and early on the field. And don’t forget to bring your masculinity with you.
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REBOOT | A MAN AFTER GOD’S HEART
THE MAN WITH A SINGLE EYE by Dr Okey Onuzo
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he idea comes today from the study of biology, that although we have two eyes, we see singly, by which I mean that our two eyes converge on the object in focus. Any time a person sees double, we refer to it in medicine as diplopia, or double vision, and that is a malady. But long before we understood all these from biology, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ had said to His disciples: 34 The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. 35 Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness. 36 If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light. (Luke 11:34-36) What exactly was Jesus saying here? It is imperative that we find out what light He was referring to. Here are the lights that a man can have in his soul: In John chapter 1, verse 9, we are told that Jesus is the true Light, that lights up every man that comes into the world. Before He came into the world to become Himself, the Light of the world, we could sense the glimmer of that Light in every man whose conscience was alive enough to correctly judge between good and evil, right and wrong (John 8:9). This is the way the Bible explains it: 14 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: 15 Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts
the mean while accusing or else excusing one another; (Roms. 2:14-15) The Law of Moses was a light that showed the way so that men could lighten the darkness in their soul occasioned by a prevalent culture of evil, which denatures the conscience. 130 The entrance of Your words gives light; It gives understanding to the simple. (Psalm 119:130) 23 For the commandment is a lamp, And the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life, 24 To keep you from the evil woman, From the flattering tongue of a seductress. 25 Do not lust after her beauty in your heart, Nor let her allure you with her eyelids. 26 For by means of a harlot A man is reduced to a crust of bread; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. (Proverbs 6:23-26) But after Jesus came into the world, He became Himself, the Light of the world so that men may no longer walk in darkness. This is the record that the Bible gave of the Light that was Jesus: 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1:4-5) The Light that Jesus brings into the soul of man, is so intense that no darkness or evil can overcome it. Let us see if we can understand what Jesus was saying in our leading scripture. It is what we may call a Christo-centric way of life. When we receive Jesus into our lives as our Lord and Saviour, our eyes will become single when we allow whatever we say or do in this world to be defined and controlled by our relationship with Him. His Holy Spirit sent to us from
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Samson’s name meant ‘sunlight’ but he fell into great darkness through the lust of the flesh. the Father above, will continuously beam the truth of His life and teachings into our souls, driving away any and all forms of darkness. This is what the apostle, Paul, had in mind when he said: 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth), 10 finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. (Ephesians 5:8-11) But now comes the warning from the Lord: “Be careful so that the light in you does not turn into darkness.” What exactly does this mean? I think we need to look at some of the men in the Bible to gain further insight. Samson, a man whose name means ‘sunlight’, and who was greatly empowered by the Spirit of the LORD to show the Way of Light to his generation, fell into great darkness through the lust of the flesh. Samson had this uncanny reputation of always getting into bed with the wrong woman. It would appear he was getting away with it until he met his match in Delilah. By the time she was done with him, the Spirit of the LORD
had departed from him and he died a slave in the hands of his enemies. (Judges 16) Lot was a righteous man. This is the testimony of his life: 6 and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward would live ungodly; 7 and delivered righteous Lot, who was oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked 8 (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormented his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds - 2 Peter 2:6-8 But the end of Lot was worse than his beginning, for he ended up an incestuous man by a combination of alcohol indulgence and the diabolical scheme of his daughters, who had darkness in their souls (Gen. 19:30-36). Perhaps his greatest error was his choice to go to Sodom in the first place, to live amongst the ungodly, not because he was led of the LORD to go there, but because he felt there was much to be gained materially. (Genesis 13:10-11) Perhaps the easiest way to fall into this trap of darkness is through the sin of presumption, that feeling that we can meddle with darkness and get away with it; we can enter darkness and come out unscathed or play around with sin and not get hurt spiritually or otherwise by God’s judgment. It was David who uttered what I consider to be the prayer of men with a single eye. “12 Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. 13 Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, And I shall be innocent of great transgression. 14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.” Amen. (Psalm 19:12-14) I ask you the same question I ask myself: “Are you a man with a single eye?”
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CONFERENCE REVIEW | MANDATE 2007
UK Men’s Conferences 2007 Something powerful happens when men gather together under the covering of their heavenly Father. It brings back to remembrance that brotherhood has nothing to do with natural blood lines, but is a spiritual dynamic rooting in a common spiritual fathering – God himself.
The Anchor Mandate Men’s Conference 2007
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he eight instalment of the annual Mandate Men’s Conference saw hundreds of men gather together over a period of four days for sessions in which, through practical and inspirational teaching, tools enabling men to deal with a rapidly changing world were provided. Hosted by Agu Irukwu, founder of Mandate Men’s Ministries (publishers of MMQ), the 2007 conference was themed ‘The Anchor’, as parallels were drawn between men’s lives and ships away at sea, highlighting in particular how to cope with stormy weather. Guest ministers at the conference included international speakers Dr Myles Munroe and Omawumi Efueye, musicians Muyiwa and A Capella quartet Alabaster Box, and Gary Grant, CEO of the Entertainer group of stores, as the keynote speaker at the Mandate Breakfast.
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Clockwise from above: Delegates take notes during a session; a rudder as a symbol of direction; more delegates; founder of Mandate Men’s Ministries Agu Irukwu; a delegate lost in worship; Kofi Banful addresses the delegates, who listen intently; Alabaster Box. [Ade Okelarin]
CONFERENCE REVIEW | MANDATE 2007
Clockwise from above: Michael Omawumi Efueye; christian leaders united in prayer; a simulated ‘giving away of the bride’ during one of the evening sessions; men united; delegates respond to a humorous anecdote. [Ade Okelarin]
Clockwise from above: United in prayer; Muyiwa Olarewaju leads the delegates in worship; Dr Myles Munroe; Agu Irukwu with the future generation of Mandate Men; the delegates consumed by worship. [Ade Okelarin]
Left: Gary Grant and Elmo say hello; Above: delegates look on at the Breakfast meeting. [Ade Okelarin]
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CONFERENCE REVIEW
Xcel Men’s Conference 2007
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t Xcel 2007 thousands of men gathered at the Abundant Life Church in Bradford to experience a life-changing weekend with Paul Scanlon, who was joined by special guests Rick Godwin and Anthony Evans. The theme of the conference was ‘I Am Not My Father’, which was not a reference to God, but a phrase to expound a spiritual truth that is vital for all men to understand. It is a statement of godly defiance, not a statement to dishonour fathers; a stand, a refusal to become a repeat performance to our children, of the poor or defective aspects of their fathering of us.
National Men’s Summit 2008
H Top: XCel Men’s Conference 2007; Above Left: Paul Scanlon; Above Right: men losing themselves in worship of their Creator. [© XCel Men’s Conference]
Christian Vision for Men Conference 2007
undreds of men gathered in Daventry from the afternoon of Friday 1st February for three days of fellowship and teaching, as the Men’s Room came to town. Kicking off with dinner, the event featured Wayne Ellington, who led the men in worship, Rev. Nims Obunge and Bishop Trevor Smith, the after-dinner speakers on Friday and Saturday evening, respectively, and TV cameraman-turned-author, David Murrow, whose book, “Why Men Hate Going to Church”, is considered to be one of the leading resources for investigating the decline in male church attendance in the UK.
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ome four hundred men gathered at the CVM conference in Coventry from the 16th-18th Ocotber 2007 to listen to speakers as varied as Rev Dr Graham Tomlin (who spoke on the theme of Spiritual Fitness, recommending that the same discipline required for the pursuit of physical fitness be applied to our spiritual endeavours) and Canon Robin Gamble (surely the most hilarious man of the cloth around). The event was hosted by Richard Meryon and Carl Beech, who ensured that the time spent by the delegates was rewarding and relaxing, and that the serious learning was tempered by serious fun, as you can see below.
Clockwise from top: delegates caught up in worship; men praise their King and Maker; delegates from CVM; male bonding: simulated sumo wrestling-style. [© Christian Vision for Men] 28 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 28 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
Top: Cross-section of the Men’s Room delegates; Above: Keynote speaker Dave Murrow.
The Money Revolution It’s regularly said that Christians have the power to change the world on their knees and in the love they show to mankind. Dr John Preston argues that a radical rethink of their approach and attitude towards money can also make a significant difference.
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Stewardship” is all about giving, right? Well, yes… and no. The bible calls us to be stewards of all the resources that God entrusts to us. Our daily decisions about money reveal something about our priorities and our values. How we spend our money, how much we choose to save, and where we save it. Decisions on insurance, credit and debt are all in some way influenced by our principles. Yet most churches rarely talk about this. If a church talks about stewardship, then all too often it is seeking to increase the giving of its members to pay the bills! Jesus didn’t stop talking about money, though. The bible has four times as many verses on money, wealth and possessions as it does on faith and prayer. We need a fresh, more holistic, approach. “The Money Revolution” is a new project which aims to convey this broader message of stewardship as being responsible for everything that God has entrusted to us; with a particular focus on money. Promoting five simple principles, the project aims to equip Christians to be better able to handle their money with a distinctly Christian perspective. The project is led by John Preston, the Church of England’s National Stewardship Officer, and author of ‘The Money Revolution’. He says “How we handle our money is a faith issue. Too often faith and money are seen as separate, but how we spend our money reveals our faith, our priorities and our values. We need to teach more about this.” Managing our money according to the principles outlined in the Money Revolution
can transform our finances. But more than that, it can make a huge impact on the Church and the world around us. Let’s look at two particular areas… Firstly, Britain’s Christians spend in excess of £20 billion each year. Just think what impact we could have on retailers if we spent more ethically. For many, though, ethical spending simply means buying fairly traded tea and coffee. Yet what proportion of our spending is that, less than one tenth of one per cent! Ethical spending is complex; covering issues of fair trade, organically grown products, supporting local enterprise, environmental issues and also the challenge of the principle of contentment. In his first letter to Timothy, Paul writes “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it” (1 Tim 6:6,7) Advertising and retail outlets seek to constantly persuade us that we need the latest gear - be it mobile phone, television or game; that we need to upgrade our car, and move to a better house. Behind these messages is often a subtle undertone that in some way buying these latest products will make us a better person, or at least feel better. The principle of contentment brings a real challenge to consumerism! The second area we need to think about is the amazing statistic that if every Briton was to give away 5% of their income to
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Too often faith and money are seen as separate, but how we spend our money reveals our faith.” alleviate poverty, the UK alone could meet the World Bank’s development targets to eliminate malnutrition, educate every child on the planet, and provide sanitation and clean water for all. Sometimes these goals seem beyond reach, yet if the citizens of just one country were determined to achieve this, then poverty and malnutrition could become a thing of the past. This is not to say that it should be the responsibility of just one country - others have their part to play; but it does challenge those who feel that it is all beyond us. Our spending, our saving and our giving could change the world. Now that really would be a Money Revolution! For more information, including how to access copies of the book from as little as £1, visit www.themoneyrevolution.net
The Money Revolution’s Five Principles: • • • • •
Everything belongs to God Be an active steward Live within your resources Build up treasure in heaven Give generously
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3000 MILES, 2 Men, 1 BoaT
On December 20th 2006 Ed Baylis, together with his friend Stu Turnbull, set off from the Canary Islands in a 24ft plywood skiff boat. Their destination was Antigua, some 3000 miles away, their aim to break the world record by rowing the distance across the Atlantic Ocean in 40 days to raise £200,000 for Cancer Research. Torrential storms may have put their bid to bed but Ed would not trade the experience for anything in the world. Interview by Colin Tomlin Words by ‘Lanre Iroche Photographs by Ade Okelarin
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think we should start off by being perfectly honest. Ed Baylis wasn’t our primary choice for the cover of this edition of the Mandate Men’s Quarterly. Our paths had crossed during the Christian Vision for Men conference in Coventry in October 2007 and we thought his story would make for a good feature. That was it. But as we drove away from his home in Dorset, having spent a period of some hours with him, Colin and I looked at each other and thought it didn’t make sense to have it any other way. Though he might not be too chuffed with me for saying this, Edward Baylis is a remarkable young man, at 28 much younger than I had expected him to be, and definitely a lot bigger. And when you hear him talk about it you can believe it, because you had felt it yourself: he’s not the kind of guy you can easily understand until you’ve actually sat down and talked to him. He bemoans the manner in which his size makes him difficult for a lot of men to approach, but you get the feeling that he’s not the kind of guy to lose sleep over such a thing. He doesn’t bemoan it because of its personal effect on him; he’s more interested in how it reflects on the Christian male. Every man is an adventurer at heart but Ed is a man who has chosen to live the adventure that is his life. Having graduated from Oxford with a degree in Theology, he dipped his hands into the corporate world of investment banking, but found after four years that it wasn’t for him. He couldn’t experience God in what he was doing. So he upped sticks to set up his own business, producing a natural alternative to sugar called Perfect Sweet. 30 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 30 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
“I went into investment banking because I wanted to prove to myself, to my parents and to the world around me that I could make money and a name for myself,” he explains. “I took stock of my life [after about four years of it] and started wondering where I was allowing God to work in [all that I was doing]. [I had] safe accommodation, a secure job, and I could validate myself through sports or the attention I received from girls, but I felt I wasn’t allowing God to do anything, that I was just taking care of everything myself. So I quit my job to set up my business almost literally on a wing and a prayer.” Ed is a Christian, in the sense that he just wants to follow Christ, and like many men, he is facing challenges with the church as it exists today. “Church works well for women because it’s relational but you think ‘what does this do for the guy?’ We don’t want sermons about feelings, or hymns about how you feel. We want hymns which are statements of fact about who we’re serving and what our purpose is. So is it really a surprise that church just makes a lot of guys cringe? “The times in my life when I’ve felt closest to God are not times that I’ve been in church. [For me] the best times are always when I’m partaking in some physical endeavour. For instance I do a run in Devon with a good Christian friend, after which we sit on top of a hill looking down on the roaring ocean. We take a bible with us, pray and share scripture and we connect, which [for me] is a lot better than sitting down [in church] and saying to the guy next a
FEATURE | ED BAYLIS
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FEATURE | ED BAYLIS to you ‘So mate, what’s going on in your life?’ and getting the usual ‘I’m fine, God is speaking to me, I’m on top of my game.’ That puts you in a slightly competitive environment, where he’s already told you he’s fine (even though he probably isn’t) and you have to reply that you are too. Otherwise, he’s [allegedly] sorted and you’re not, so he’s the better man. “The massive benefit to physical discipline is that it strips the mind; the mind can’t pretend if your body’s exhausted and your resources are drained, so [physical endeavour] humbles you and shows you your limitations, but more than that, it brings the real man to the surface. When you engage in a physical activity with a friend and you’ve exposed to each other what you’re capable of physically, those barriers come down and you’ve both got a common goal, so rather than facing each other head on you’re almost shoulder to shoulder, facing the challenge together… head on. So it brings you into a place of unity.” Ed wasn’t originally supposed to take part in the row; Stu was going to do it with another friend. The row’s objective was to raise £200,000 for Cancer Research – Stu lost an aunt, a grandfather and several close family friends to cancer, while two of Ed’s aunts also succumbed to the disease – and in the process break the world record for an Atlantic crossing by a two-man oar team. During the row the pair had the names of all the people they knew who’d succumbed to cancer written on the boat as a constant reminder of their goal. With an intensive training regime in the build-up to the row, which included a series of counselling classes to help them navigate the minefield of two different personalities occupying the same space for such a long period, the pair felt confident of breaking the record when they set off. However, torrential storms and heavy seas contrived to scupper their bid. Matters got worse when the pair ran out of food more than 400 miles away from land. Burning about 7000 calories a day each man lost close to four stone in weight and at a point they had to make a small, pub-sized bag of nuts last an entire day whilst rowing six two-hour sessions each. Salvation arrived in the shape of two Dutchmen making a similar journey and Ed and Stu rowed for 36 hours non-stop to meet up with their rescuers. Ed is pretty candid about the experience, and I admire the fact that while he appears to have a strong parental foundation to lean on, one that has probably informed a lot of his thinking, he doesn’t use this foundation as a comfort blanket against the harshness of real life; rather he uses it as a springboard for pushing himself to achieve bigger goals than the last one. It’s the reason he has no excuse to fall back on if he fails. “The row appealed to me in the sense that when you’re out there you’re not impressing anyone. No-one’s watching on TV or cheering in the stadium. It’s just you and the other guy out there. It’s just you and your faith. “That was massive for me; I was at a stage in my life where I wanted to be vulnerable to God in terms of my work, 32 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 32 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
my identity and my physicality, and that’s how I got into the row, from building my security networks around me to going ‘C’mon Lord, lets get raw and see what happens.’” MMQ: First question, why the Atlantic? EB: It’s pretty much the smallest ocean. Plus it’s got nice hot weather, our route almost followed the equatorial line, and it’s meant to be the calmest water. MMQ: Talk us through the row. What was the best part about it? EB: I think the best part for me was that you couldn’t pretend you were invincible, that you’re the big man, that everything is okay, because this other guy is never more than four or five feet away. When you’re in that place you find out what you’re capable of and how you respond to stress, tiredness and fear, all these different kinds of emotion you can easily ignore in the real world, where you can buy something to stop you being tired, or spend money to relieve stress, or avoid really interacting with any emotion you don’t like by pretending it’s not there. Out there there’s no quick-fix so you learn who you really are, and who the other guy is. In the Atlantic, at any point you could be up to seven days away from help, so it is up to you and this other guy in the boat to resolve anything [you come across], to do whatever it takes. If the oars break, you have to sort it. If you’re under attack from sharks, you have to sort it. If one of you gets injured, you have to sort it. If you have a massive argument the furthest you can go from each other is five feet, so you have to sort it. You can be in the middle of the biggest storm and put out a mayday on your radio, and [the response] could be that the nearest boat is seven days away. Helicopters can’t carry enough fuel to reach you and planes can’t make rescues, so you might have to guts it out for seven to ten days. In a game of rugby, if I’m having a bad game or get injured, I could say to the coach, “Here and now I want to get off the pitch, get in my car and go home.” It’s similar with boxing (which Ed had a foray with at university and still uses to train) If I’ve had enough or my coach thinks I’ve had enough he can throw in the towel or I don’t have to get off my stool at the end of the round. But the thing about the row is it’s so raw; there is no emergency exit. On the first and last day, when you’re within 80 miles of the shore, that’s the closest you’re going to come to being rescued. On the sixty-plus days in-between you’re on your own and anything that happens you’ve got to deal with. MMQ: Your friendship with Stu must have grown immensely as a resul, so I suspect he’s the one guy you can’t pretend around? EB: I respect that guy ultimately and I hope he similarly respects me. That will last forever and it’s closer than friendship or brotherhood. He’s the only person in the world who has seen me display every single human emotion across its entire sliding scale, going from one extreme, where it’s almost non-existent, to another extreme, where it’s visceral and in your face. So you can go from having no fear to being a
FEATURE | ED BAYLIS
“I’m not a remarkable human being. I’m like every other guy who reads your magazine.”
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FEATURE | ED BAYLIS consumed by it, and he’s seen me all the way along that scale with every emotion there is, with joy, sadness, fear, tiredness, all these things which, in the normal course of life, no-one else would see. He’s lived with me through that and I’ve lived with him through the same. MMQ: Stu is not a Christian. What impact did spending such a long period of time in isolation with a Christian have on him? EB: Stu not being a Christian added another dimension to things, and while I believe he now acknowledges the probability of a creator, beyond that he believes that he influences the course of his life. I’m not condemning that because it’s a very easy mindset for men to get into, whereby if things go well I made it happen and if bad things happen – it sucks. So the good stuff’s me and the bad stuff probably could be a creator, and why would I believe in him anyway if he’s letting bad stuff happen? [On the other hand] the whole peace about being a Christian is [the viewpoint that] ‘I don’t have to worry about any of this stuff because my loving heavenly father has got it all under control.’ It meant that when I put my head on the wooden floorboard at night I could say, “Lord, You’re in charge. If a forty-foot wave comes and washes me overboard and that’s the end for me that’s because You’ve purposed that. And, hang on, I get to go to paradise so that’s no bad thing.” Whereas Stu was probably thinking, “If I don’t believe in a god or a creator, if I don’t believe there’s a power controlling and influencing the circumstances I’m exposed to, when my head goes down at night I’ve got to keep one eye open because it’s only me here, me fighting for my survival.” [Still] the one thing that was interesting about [Stu’s faith] during the row was that we’d have our evening meal – we took fifty days’ worth of food, and a very low amount at that because we were aiming for a world record, and the row took sixty-three days – which was the most important point of the day considering how little we had, and I’d try to let him start first moments before I dug in. Towards the end of the row he’d sit there and not touch his food, and often without looking up from his steaming food he’d say “Buddy, are you going to say grace?” Sometimes I’d push my luck and ask “Why? Why does it matter? Who am I talking to?” but at other times I’d just put my head down and say grace with him – I loved doing that. I honestly don’t think any human being can be so at one with nature without thinking ‘Who’s pulling the switches here?’ so I have no doubt he thought about it a lot, and still does. MMQ: Do you think Stu would do it all over again? EB: Stu is a serial adventurer. Before the row he did six desert marathons in five days back-to-back. He’s a real action man. We’re currently talking about doing something together in September off the back of an event our friend Tom is undertaking. He’s attempting something only three people in the world have ever done, called Arch to Arc, which is where you run 87 miles on Day One from Marble Arch to Dover, then sleep for about four hours. On Day Two you swim 22 miles from Dover to Calais and sleep for another four hours and on Day Three you cycle 180 miles from Calais 34 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 34 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
to Paris. Now that is crazy! Tom tragically lost his cousin in strange circumstances on Mont Blanc. He was in the Army and they finally found traces of his remains after a year or so, so as a family they were finally able to put his death to rest. What Tom wants to do in his memory is to cycle from Paris to Mont Blanc after the race into Paris and we’re looking into the possibility of doing that last leg with him - the 360 mile cycle from Paris, summit the mountain and then come back down if he’d allow it. It would be brilliant to do something like that with Stu because we’d just be getting back to what we know. MMQ: And you? Would you do it again? EB: Definitely. MMQ: Would you do it around Britain? EB: I don’t know. [Doing it around Britain] you’d have to worry about the tides, about being pulled onto the rocks. In the Atlantic there’s nothing to hit, apart from whales and other boats. And I’d want to go somewhere hot. There are guys who’ve done it around Britain, all army guys. It took them about fifty days. I know one of the guys who did it; I went to university with him. MMQ: There must be something liberating about all this adventure, and while most men are adventurers at heart we never get round to doing anything about it. EB: I think most people are [adventurers at heart], but it’s been stifled. The model for me is found in Old Testament times. I believe man was supposed to work really hard in the sun as a child of God. When I
look at that row I was more content than at any time in my life, than when I’m back here with trendy clothes and a lovely house. It kind of becomes your identity – whether you want it to or not – but I think “Wouldn’t it be great if you lived in a small village, got up in the morning and tilled the ground all day and got a real sweat on and you were so exhausted at the end of the day that you don’t want to argue with anyone, or go to war with other countries, or bother about what jeans or trainers you have on?” Because those things couldn’t be less important. [For me] it’s about relationship with the people you work with and the family you go back to. That’s what being a man is all about. MMQ: You said earlier about it being impossible to be at one with nature and not acknowledge a Creator. EB: On Christmas Eve [2006] we’d been rowing through a storm for the four days since we set off; we’d only had about an hour and a half’s worth of sleep each in that time because you can’t sleep when the boat’s shaking about in the big storms. So we were exhausted and had no experience of rowing or the sea. I was on a night shift coming up to midnight, listening to worship music on my iPod and I remember rowing along while Stu slept, just thinking about Jesus’ birthday. It was a full moon and, while I wasn’t crying, I had tears streaming down my face. It wasn’t that I was sad; I just had an understanding of being in touch with that which I was created for. It was just a moment of “God made this.”
FEATURE | ED BAYLIS
“I could go to sleep thinking, ‘Lord, You’re in charge. If a fortyfoot wave washes me overboard it’s because You’ve purposed it.’” When you surround yourself which structures which keep you from the elements it’s easy to live in a world you’ve created, but when you’re out in a tiny little boat you see these monstrous waves – thirty, forty foot high – and winds trying to pick you up and throw you out of the boat at 40mph, or the most incredible sun scenes that are so awe-inspiring they paralyse you, or shooting stars that go 180° over you every three minutes. Imagine your field of vision unencumbered by lights, buildings or trees and you’ve just got a dome of stars over you, enclosing you, and a beautiful moon. You can’t help but think about the Person who created all that. MMQ: Obviously the Atlantic experience has changed your thinking. EB: I’m very drawn to a simple life. I think we’re simple beings created for a simple life. But we’ve complicated things, and complication breeds unhappiness, because when we’re surrounded by choice, we’re terrified of making the wrong one, and when we do finally make a decision we still remember all that we forewent instead of what we decided on. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy the good things God chooses to bless us with. God loves to give his children good gifts so a Christian shouldn’t berate himself for having a good time by thinking ‘Should I be a bit sombre? Should I be the beaten-up, suffering servant?’ Before the row I had always struggled with [the verse that reads] ‘flee from sexual immorality’, not because I wanted to go
out and sleep with loads of women but because men are sexual creatures. The testosterone that drives me in the gym is the same testosterone that makes me a bit of a peacock, that draws my head and my eyes to attractive women. But I’ve been able to piece together since the row that the less fulfilled I am at work, the less I’ve used my energy productively, the less rested I am, the more my eyes and my mind are going to wander. During the row my body was doing what it was designed for so there wasn’t the inclination at all towards a sexual thought. What that tells me is that if we lived in that mould, not only could there be fewer cases of sexual immorality and adultery, but also if you return home after using up all your energy in productive physical labour, you’re not going to want to go to war with a neighbouring village, you’re not going to want to steal anything, because you’ve expended all your energy positively. While your body is working and resting you’re pulling down all these emotional barriers, so while you’re rowing and you’re in this pain and you’re in this place, you can think with God, you can meditate with God, you can allow Him into your thought life, because you’re not saying “Okay God, You know who I really am, but I’m going to pretend to be the big man, the tough man, the provider to my family, the solid pair of shoulders, the safe pair of hands, the guy who can advise others on how to get sin out of their lives because I’m pretty sorted.” Suddenly all that ego is not there and it’s like you can almost stop pretending with God to be who you think you should be or the world wants you to be, and just interact with Him very purely MMQ: Prior to the row you’d quit the City to move into private enterprise. Has going on the row reinforced your decision? EB: I love the way things are at the moment. At any point we can get a phone call that the business is bankrupt or that we’ve got a massive client and the business [becomes] the biggest enterprise we can conceive. I think it’s great that I’m totally vulnerable from a business point of view and my entire work life is dedicated to God. I’d lived by the affirmation of men for years; because I could lift weights or play rugby or could be physically intimidating when I went out. But I thought, “Lord this is not of you. All that thinking is just worldly affirmation, a worldly approach to success and achievement.” MMQ: And the challenges you’ve faced in church? What would you recommend as an alternative? EB: The model that works for me, which I believe works for men, is a small group of guys that you trust implicitly, to whom you make yourself accountable. Guys you can entrust your girlfriend, your business or your car to. When you have guys like that – some of them I see on a regular basis, some I talk to on the phone or by email – you can say, “Rugby’s going great and I feel like I’m the man” and they would go, “Who cares that the world thinks you’re the best? What does Jesus think of you?” or you’re having a bad game and they give you a proper perspective in the same way. There were some guys on the rugby team at university that no one wanted to room with because they knew that all
they’d get was ‘gospel, gospel, gospel’ all night, every night, and that can be quite condemning, having someone saying ‘I’ve got all the answers’ when all you want to do is have a few beers with the guys and relax, not to rape, murder and pillage. It’s much easier for someone to see the manifestation of the lifestyle than the blueprint, which is sometimes just a model – ‘try it and it may work’. But if they see it – this guy smiles a lot more than anyone else and no problem seems insurmountable for him, and he seems quite as peace with whatever’s going on – it makes a world of difference. Certainly on my rugby team I’ve seen that (as if all the physical activity wasn’t enough, Ed is also a semi-pro rugby player). On a recent journey from an away match the guys were getting up to all sorts of hi-jinks at the back of the bus and two of them came up and sat next to me. One of them said “I know I’m drunk and this probably isn’t the time to talk about it but I think I want to become a Christian. This [lifestyle] doesn’t do it for me.” Another guy, a former marine who was struggling to come to terms with life and the things he’d done in different parts of the world, was in trouble with the police and had problems with alcohol. Again some doors have been opened there to chat about it all. It’s just such a joy to do, to be around guys and say, “This is what works for me, if you want to talk about it or read about it, just come and chat.” [For me] it’s a much better approach than “I’ve got the answer, do you want it?” and they’re thinking “I haven’t even got a problem so why would I want an answer?” The question is where next for these guys, how to get them into church, and whether that’s actually the best next step for them. My fear is that it would make them recoil and run a mile, but how else do you move forward? MMQ: What other lessons did you pick up on the row? EB: [I learnt that] if I could do that row, we as human beings are capable of anything. Nothing is impossible. I’m not a remarkable human being. I’m not a rower, a seafarer or an adventurer. I’m like every other guy who reads your magazine. As humans we tend to impose artificial boundaries to our capabilities; if you ignored these self-made fences for a moment, what could you dare to dream was possible in your life? I also came away with a lesson to take that kind of time with God, to put yourself in a place with God regularly where there are no distractions, no ringing phones, no social pressures to be that person or do this job. Since I’ve been back from the row I’ve seen how easy it is for me to rush through a bible study or to pick up my bible in a year just before I go to bed, thinking ‘If I speed-read I can still get my eight hours of sleep and be up tomorrow to do all the stuff that’s important’. But I’ve realised that sometimes you’ve got to take a holiday with God. Pencil that time in your diary and say “Right Lord, it’s you and me and there’s nothing that I’m going to let get in the way.” The row [was] sixty-three days of just sitting there conversing with God, reading my bible and my study notes in an environment where the physical pain had stripped away the pretences and ego; it’s just the place to be.
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y father was a strong, silent man, a dominant visible authority who communicated more by his presence than by words. By nature a highly intelligent individual he could discuss any topic under the sun, except his own emotions. I only ever saw him cry once, by my grandfather’s grave, and even then it was a fleeting occurrence, never again to be repeated. I grew up believing that he was Superman, an invincible powerhouse able to weather any storm and withstand any pressure, and I wanted to be just like him. And then, when I got the opportunity to emulate him, I opened my eyes and found out that being just like him wouldn’t work in the 21st century.
their feelings under control.” Dr Selwyn Mills, founder of a psychotherapy group for men called Men in Transition, observed in a 1998 New York Times Interview that “Over the past 30 years, gender roles have changed so much that men who learned how to be men 40 years ago find themselves in a new world. Women have been making a lot of changes - getting education, going into fields that were formerly male-dominated and supporting themselves financially. They’ve also started demanding different kinds of relationships with men. But men have had to wing it. There were no rule books or role models. Their parents are of a different era, and there was no way of knowing how to be ‘a man’ in modern society.”
The ever-changing perspective of manhood in 21st century society is often credited as being the single most influential catalyst for the confusion of purpose affecting men aged 18 and over. In almost every sphere of life, except for some quarters of the entertainment industry (rap music in particular), traditional masculinity has had its day. Coupled with the upsurge of capable femininity, the John Wayne, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Frank Sinatra-type heroes who once dominated the scenery of family life, finances and career growth, have been sidelined in favour of men more in touch with their feminine side. A report from the Boys to Men Conference in 1999, convened to examine negative stereotypes that compromise young male development, concluded that “From John Wayne to George Clooney, depictions of “real men” have traditionally focused on being in charge, acting decisively, containing emotion, and succeeding with women”, adding that, “For boys of all ages, these depictions reinforce and glorify a limited emotional range for males and portray the most admirable men as those who solve problems through action and keep
Apart from the sense of redundancy and irrelevance often felt by the male offspring of the strong silent type, they also face the real problem of deciding how best to manage the new expectations of their female counterparts brought on by the relationship revolution. According to Dr Mills many men are basically exploring new territory. “In the 70’s, many of the men who rejected the old models of masculinity and became ‘sensitive’ were paradoxically rejected by women. They kind of overshot it - women didn’t want men who were ‘too’ sensitive, men they perceived as being weak. As a result, men have had to develop a ‘new’ concept of masculinity that incorporates both male qualities: problem-solving, being strong, protective, caring and creative on a grand scale, with a sensitive side: an ability to listen, spend more time with their wives and children.” San Francisco Times columnist, Cinnamon Stillwell, seems to confirm this argument as she lashes out at the preponderance of what she terms ‘Weepie Guys’. “…another disturbing offshoot of this trend is the public preponderance of men hugging, telling other men they “love” a
The Death of the Strong Silent Type The ideals of manhood we acquired from our fathers’ generation have proved redundant. Where does 21st century man go from here? Words by Joseph Onwuchekwa OUTFLOW
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FEATURE | DEATH OF THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE them and crying on a moment’s notice. Anyone who has witnessed the unseemly weeping of certain male politicians in recent years… knows that men crying in public is not a good thing. Whatever happened to the strong silent type? The male movie stars of yesteryear provided some good examples. Men with the quiet strength of Gary Cooper, the warmth and humility of Jimmy Stewart or the laconic toughness of Robert Mitchum were the real deal.” Confused? Me too. Mental and physical health factors have also been cited as another reason for the dearth of the strong silent male. The USA Suicide Official Final Data 2002 and National Vital Statistics Report 1999 both indicate that men are four times more likely to take their own life than women. This has been linked to the inability by some men to cope with the demands and pressures of being an introverted strong silent type in modern society. The fact that women
would rather express his love by changing her oil, or bringing home a flower, or relinquishing control of the remote. And when men do talk, they’d prefer to talk about actions rather than emotions. For instance, a lot of guys would choose to express their long-range faith in a relationship by talking about next summer’s vacation plans, not by launching into a soliloquy about undying love. Both conversations can mean the same thing (that he plans on sticking around); he just prefers to say it with plane tickets, rather than poetry.” Unfortunately without suitable role models in the family setting the chances of radical change appear remote. For example, many men who want to be more involved with their children than their fathers were face doubts about their ability to do so. And they are troubled by the lack of a model for fatherhood. In a 1980’s survey Sam Osherson, a research psychologist at Harvard
cally abandoned and confused when their wives go back to school or to work after the children have grown. “Psychologically,” says Dr Osherson, “he experiences his wife’s new autonomy as due to something he did wrong. Such men often react by trying to get more involved in their work, because that is one arena where they feel that if they do well they will be rewarded. At some level, they believe that by working harder they will win back their wife.” But the picture isn’t any brighter on the work front because, as a recent Men’s Health Forum survey revealed, employers are increasingly keen to recruit staff with more of the so-called ‘feminine’ skills, particularly the ability to communicate well. A Management Today magazine survey found that most believed women are better with customers, more efficient, more trustworthy and more generous and understanding with colleagues than their male counterparts. “In the past women who aspired to
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The ‘strong, silent type’ does not appear vulnerable. He is rarely frightened, and he is unlikely to cry.”
are more likely to talk about their feelings has been proffered as the reason for the lower risk of suicide amongst females of the same generation. A 2006 Daily Mail review by Fiona Macrae, quoting a study by Dr Luan Brizendine, found that women talk almost three times as much as men, with the average woman chalking up 20,000 words in a day - 13,000 more than her male counterpart. The Boys to Men Conference Report added that “The ‘strong, silent type’ does not appear vulnerable. He is rarely frightened. He doesn’t engage in ‘women’s work’. He doesn’t talk about his feelings, and he is unlikely to cry” a view that has led William Pollack Ph.D of Harvard Medical School, to express his concern. “If we don’t allow our boys to cry tears, not just at five or at six, but at ten and at fifteen and twenty, then some boys are going to cry out with their fists and some boys are going to cry bullets and then it’s going to be too late and we can’t just point the finger at them.” Dr Mills supports this theory from a medical point of view. He says that “Men are at much greater risk for cancer, heart attacks and accidents than women, and I believe it’s because they’re under so much stress to conceal their real feelings from both women and other men. I see the ability to open up as not just an emotional benefit but a real health benefit.” But isn’t it the simple truth that men are more comfortable with actions than feelings? David Zinczenko of Men’s Health magazine seems to think so. “Rather than talking about how he ‘feels’, often a man 38 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 38 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
University Health Services, was of the view that “The fascination with their fathers is very common now among men who have postponed fathering into their 30’s. They often fear they will be like their own father, who they may remember as angry, demanding or isolated. Many men grew up with a loving but distant father who was on the periphery of the family, a hardworking, mysterious, twilight figure. Others experience the family as the place strong men turn weak. They’ll say, ‘My father was a big man at work, but not at home.’” “Their wives want them to be more involved as fathers, and they want to, too,” Dr. Osherson says. “But that stirs up conflicts about what it might mean to do so. They fear that they will become like the negative side of their fathers. One man said in therapy, “Whenever I discipline my kids, I find myself shouting ‘No!’ at them, which is what my father did.” “These men lack an image of what the poet Robert Bly calls ‘the moist father’, a receptive father who holds his son in a masculine, yet nurturing, way,” Dr. Osherson added. Yet another problem arises for men who see themselves as compromised by mates in their 30’s, who feel pressured by their biological clocks to have a child. Trouble arises when the father-to-be feels he will have little or no contact with the child because his relationship with the mother is casual or unstable. A familiar problem for many men, according to Dr. Osherson, is feeling psychologi-
management were encouraged to be more manly - it looks now as if the boot is on the other foot,” commented Management Today editor Rufus Olins. The view that the management strategy of the strong silent type has become an anachronism is shared by James Traeger, director of a men’s development programme known as ‘Navigator’. He says “It’s clear that if men want to survive in the business world then they’ve got to demonstrate that they’re good with their feelings.” The Men’s Health Forum survey’s conclusion on the matter of developing better emotional health was that “women are succeeding at work because they have been able to add ‘male’ skills to their repertoire; men now need to do the reverse…Like any species in a changing environment, men have to evolve - or die.” In trying to understand the effect of the crisis of masculinity on relationships with the opposite sex, John Munder Ross, a psychologist at Cornell Medical College, is of the view that men adopt a “hypermasculine” posture, an exaggerated version of the stereotypic male role. “Men who are insecure about the durability of their masculinity can feel frightened of women’s power and of intimacy,” Dr. Ross said in an interview. “They become hypermasculine to reassure themselves.” However Dr Ross believes that the hypermasculine man is a misogynist who puts down women in order to feel more like a man. His secret, though, is that his
FEATURE | RISE OF THE METROSEXUAL masculinity is a show, a charade that hides his fear of intimacy with women. However, to the dismay of such men the modern woman is less willing to put up with them and inevitably this creates friction. So where does this leave the 21st Century male raised in the shadow of a 20th Century role model? Mark Israel, professional Television Writer and Producer, appears to have a solution. In his blog ‘Transitional Man’ he addresses the issue by defining the modern incarnation of the Strong Silent Type as being a Transitional Man, who he says is “caught between what he was exposed to growing up, the 1950’s paradigm, and a new 21st century definition of a healthy male/female relationship which more closely resembles a complex negotiated equality appreciated by both parties but not fully understood by either. He is a man who is expected to emote but who fears the woman in his life hasn’t had time to adapt to her own expectations of him. He is a man who is now willing to admit he has complex emotions but who hasn’t had the time to learn what to do with them. “More than anything, a Transitional Man knows how much he needs a strong woman in his life but doesn’t yet have the tools to know what do with her when he’s lucky enough to find her. He’s the man a woman calls her husband, her best friend, or boyfriend. He’s also the man men call their father, their brother, or their son”. Mark believes that a “Transitional Man’s first step into the 21st century is to embrace the strength of the woman in his life, and rather than being intimidated by it, embrace it. Instead of being afraid of it, lean on it. Instead of seeking out her weakness, seek out her power. Instead of holding on to the 1950’s definition of a “Man’s Man,” help create a new definition. One which is confident enough in himself to take chances with his emotions, his life, and his heart.” And if that sounds too confusing for you I’ve got two far simpler words: Barack Obama. What’s Barack got to do with it? It’s simple. The Democratic Presidential candidate is living proof that the strong silent type isn’t dead: he’s just been upgraded and rebooted. The man of few words and much action is alive and kicking, albeit with a liberal sprinkling of feminine accessibility.
T
he term was coined by Mark Simpson, a British and outspokenly gay social “commentarist” and first published in a 1994 article in The Independent called ‘Here Come The Mirror Men’. The concept was developed thanks to Simpson’s book on masculine identity in a media-driven world, Male Impersonators: Men Performing Masculinity. At the time, Simpson was simply chronicling a new male prototype he saw emerging in society but the term has been co-opted by fashion companies as a marketing ploy. In a 2003 Salon.com article entitled ‘Meet The Metrosexual’, Simpson wrote, “old-fashioned (re)productive, repressed, unmoisturized masculinity was being given the pink slip by consumer capitalism. The stoic, self-denying, modest straight male didn’t shop enough - his role was to earn money for his wife to spend so he had to be replaced by a new kind of man, one less certain of his identity and much more interested in his image.” “Metrosexuality is the end of ‘sexuality’,” Simpson goes on to say in an interview with Russia’s OM Magazine, explaining that when it comes to metros, sexuality “is utterly immaterial because the metrosexual has taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual aim. Desire in the metrosexual has been uncoupled, or at least irretrievably loosened, from reproduction and gender - and reattached to commercial signs.” In general parlance, to be called metrosexual is not to be called gay, but rather sensitive, chic and cultured. Some of the most commonly labelled metrosexual prototypes include David Beckham and screen icons Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman. All these men are as much models as they are sports stars or actors, welcoming the not-so-furtive female gazes like the walking billboards they’ve become. Various definitions have been offered for the term and one of the most straight to the point appears in Word Spy, which defines a metrosexual as ‘an urban male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on his appearance and lifestyle.’ Retail analyst Datamonitor recently found that British men now spend £1.3 billion a year on grooming products. The overwhelming majority of those purchases are being made by men under 40 who spend £111 a year each on personal beauty products - only £27 less than women in the same age bracket. Sensing the growth in demand among younger men, cosmetics giants such as L’Oréal and Nivea have been rushing to stock the shelves of Boots with male hair and face care products. Metrosexual men go to hairdressers instead of barbers, avoid using soap because it’s too harsh on their skin, visit the gym instead of playing sport and have difficulty deciding what to wear. Marketers are spurring on the change, dropping the macho element from products that target men. Gone are the tough male images, even from beer and car ads. a
THE RISE OF THE METROSEXUAL He’s just as likely to visit the hairdressers as he is to pop into the barbers. Introducing the 21st century model replacing the outmoded strong, silent male. OUTFLOW
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FEATURE | RISE OF THE METROSEXUAL According to Joanna Broughton of Truefitt & Hill, a men’s salon in St James’s, “the perception of masculine good looks has undergone a tremendous transformation in the past few years. Men not only want to look their best, they now recognise the importance of being flawlessly groomed. “They no longer consider that manicured fingernails or smooth skin detract from their masculinity. Awareness of appearance is becoming paramount in the psychology of the modern male.” Quite what is prompting this change is open to question. Mark Hooper cites the popularity of makeover shows such as Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and style icons such as Beckham. He also points to the rising number of single men in Britain. Six in 10 men aged between 25 and 34 are not married, with 40 per cent of that figure completely single - double the amount of two decades ago. “Men are in and out of relationships, and it forces them to work harder at their appearance because they have to be on the lookout for a partner.” Equally, Hooper says, the society that today’s young men grow up in is markedly more feminised than that of previous generations. “Men socialise more with their female friends, they’re quite likely to work for a female boss, and may earn less than their partner. That old 70s attitude of blokiness is disappearing because there are fewer ways that men can claim they are naturally ‘better’ than women. They have to put more effort into everything, from their relationships to the way they look.” Men are increasingly liable to fall prey to eating disorders and more exotic conditions such as dysmorphia, sometimes known as ‘bigorexia’, an obsessive-compulsive syndrome that leads sufferers to work out constantly in the gym, abusing steroids and developing hypertrophied bodies, in the delusion that they are puny and underweight. In addition, the Eating Disorders Association estimates that 10 per cent of Britain’s 90,000 anorexics and bulimics are male. Dr Roberto Olivardia, co-author of The Adonis Complex: The Secret Crisis of the Male Body, offers this viewpoint: “To a degree unprecedented in history men are being made to feel more and more inadequate about how they look - while simultaneously being prohibited from talking about it or even admitting it to themselves.” Even in the face of such devastating downsides, there is some practical rationale behind the surge in metrosexuality. Researchers at London Guildhall University found in a survey of 11,000 British 33-year-olds a few years ago, that the most presentable men enjoyed 15 per cent higher wages than their less well turned out colleagues. Similarly, good-looking people were more likely to be married, more confident, less likely to be kept waiting at bars, and liable to receive lighter penalties from juries 40 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 40 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
if they ended up on trial. “The truth is, it’s all quite base,” says Steve Beale of men’s fashion magazine Arena Homme Plus. “Men are tuning in to the fact that if you use moisturiser you might pull more women. Instead of grooming being seen as non-masculine, it’s become the opposite. Now it’s macho to moisturise.” According to research by Boots, the male cosmetics market has grown by a staggering 800% since 2000, making it far and away the fastest growing sector within the cosmetics and beauty industry. In Datamonitor’s research it found that men were forking out £278 million on hair care products, £88 million on aftershave and £65 million on skincare products. It predicts that the male grooming market will be worth £1.5 billion by the end of this year. Unsurprisingly, a whole new industry has sprung up over the past 10 years designed to cater specifically to the metrosexual male. From male-only spas and salons to boutique outlets selling everything from toners to lipstick exclusively for men, male grooming is now very big business. One of the most prominent UK male grooming businesses is Jason Shankey. The self-named business began in 1997 as a barber’s shop in Belfast and has grown over the past decade into a business with an annual turnover in excess of £2 million, two boutique ‘clubs’ in Belfast and London and a thriving online cosmetics store. “All of my research led to the conclusion that London was lacking in an affordable grooming facility which was exclusive to men,” he said, adding that, “we have subsequently created a grooming and lifestyle club which acts as a non-threatening relaxation and reviving sanctuary for men.” The Jason Shankey concept combines a ‘gentleman’s club’, complete with a cigar room and beer garden, and a male spa offering treatments from massaging and facials to traditional cut-throat shaves. He believes that his success lies in catering exclusively to the male market, rather than attempting to offer products aimed at both men and women. “Unlike many of the unisex salons offering male skin care treatments, our treatments are ‘tailor made’ for men’s skin and not a substitute for female counterparts.” Your qualification as a metrosexual may depend on whether or not you possess an appreciation for literature, cinema, or other arts ; a flair for cooking; savoir faire in choosing the perfect wine and music or an eye for interior design. Or if one of the resources used to put this piece together is to be believed, reading this article to this point proves that you’re curious enough about the phenomenon to qualify as one. In summary the metrosexual is a city boy or, if living a commute away from the city, remains urbane, if not rightly urban. Oh, and he enjoys reading men’s magazines...
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FEATURE | WHEN GOD SAYS NOTHING
WHEN GOD SAYS NOTHING Most of us are comfortable with the idea of a God who patiently waits to meet our needs. So what does it mean when all we’re met with is His silence? Words by George Luke
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f anyone knows the power of prayer, Pete Greig does. This is the man who, in 1999, got together with a few mates in “a smelly little prayer room” in Chichester and made a pledge to get people to pray non-stop in one-hour shifts across the day. Eight years on, the 24/7 Prayer movement has branches in one-third of the world’s nations: an army of intercessors praying round the clock. Several other missions and outreaches have sprung up on the back of it – most famously their mission to the clubbers of Ibiza, which has been covered in publications ranging from Rolling Stone to Readers’ Digest and Channel 4. By the same token, if anyone knows the frustration of unanswered prayer, Pete Greig does. In the early days of 24/7, Pete and his wife Samie were asleep one night when Samie suffered a really violent seizure. Doctors found a tumour “the size of an orange” in her brain. It was removed successfully, but to this day – and despite the continued prayers of Pete, Samie and thousands of supporters worldwide – Samie now suffers from epilepsy and is prone to seizures at any time. In his book, God on Mute, Pete tells 42 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 42 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
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To many of our questions, there are really good answers. Not to all of them, but to many of them. ” the story of Aaron Kushner – a rabbi’s son who died young from a premature ageing disease. Years later, his father said that coping with Aaron’s illness had made him a much more effective minister… but he would gladly give up all that growth and advancement to have his son back. It’s not hard for Pete to see the parallels in his own life. “When I used to preach before my wife got sick, the people who responded at the end were the gungho, ‘we’re gonna take the world for Jesus by breakfast tomorrow’ brigade,” he says. “I love those guys; I used to be one of them. These days when I preach, the people who respond are often in tears from hurting. They’re often broken; they’re often saying things like ‘thank you for being real.’ And so yes, I think my approach has changed. I
hope it’s a bit humbler; I hope it’s honest. Would I give it all up to have my wife back whole? I would absolutely lay all of this down in a second if it meant that Samie didn’t have to have a brain tumour and didn’t have to have epilepsy. Maybe that’s why God doesn’t give me the choice.” Personally, I’ve never seen Christians stretch and twist as much as when they’re trying to explain why some of our prayers don’t get answered. As a Sunday School kid, I was taught that God has three answers to prayer: “Yes”, “No” and “Wait”. Nobody has a problem with “Yes”. But I was never sure about the other two. I mean, how long a grace period do you give a “wait” prayer before re-classifying it as a “no”? Teacher could never answer that one… “I think the ‘yes, no, wait’ response is a good starting place,” says Pete. “But I also think there’s a fourth category that we miss. I believe that there are many things God wants to happen on earth that do not happen. God, even though he’s God, doesn’t always get his will done. That’s why he tells us to pray ‘let your will be done,’ because it isn’t automatic. “Here’s an example – and I’m not Continues on Page 45
FEATURE | VIEW FROM WESTMINSTER
Can we have Faith in Politics?
Gareth Wallace is the Westminster Parliamentary Officer for the Evangelical Alliance and discusses Christianity’s increasingly public role in British politics.
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t seems that there has never been as much interest in faith in public life as there is now. Rarely does a day go by when there is not a major newspaper article on the subject, or a debate in the comments pages. Richard Dawkin’s God Delusion and Christopher Hitchin’s God is not Great are just two of a clutch of books attacking religion that have caught the public imagination. But why are atheists and secular intellectuals getting so worked up about faith? Why is the topic of religion and personal faith getting into the very heart of politics itself? One of my political heroes is Archbishop Desmond Tutu. The fact that a churchman can be claimed as a political icon is no mistake. An increasingly clear link is being made between political campaigning on justice and authentic Christian witness. Archbishop Tutu once quipped that he was “puzzled which Bible people are reading when they suggest that religion and politics don’t mix.” He also commented that “we pray for God’s will to be done. But if God’s will cannot be done in politics then whose will is being done?” On this issue atheists and archbishops agree; ideas and policies are not value neutral. Not getting engaged means we loose the battle of ideas before it has begun. If Jesus was as political a figure as many claim, with his concern
for the poor and his frequent warnings for those who held political authority, then his followers must have an interest in the values that underpin how society is governed. Historically Christianity has had a troubled relationship with the structures of power. ‘Theocracy’ or rule by church leaders is certainly not the way to fairly administer national life. However, with the decline of so called ‘Christendom’ and the rise of pluralism, there is little danger of that in Britain today. Instead we are seeing a move towards certain Christian principles becoming accepted as a valid part of political thought while other Christian ideas are deemed unacceptable and judgemental by our pluralist culture. It would be too much to claim that Christian principles are a new political philosophy; more that some Christian ideas are acceptable as another voice at the table in our multicultural and post-modern society. Whereas previously under ‘modernity’ political or religious ideas were either right or wrong, ‘truth’ has now become increasingly blurred. This means that although Christians can expect more coverage in Parliament and in the press it is perhaps only as part of a wider move towards acknowledging a wide range of viewpoints within our increasingly diverse nation. This can be seen in the modern mantra of Human
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We pray for God’s will to be done. But if God’s will cannot be done in politics then whose will is being done?” Archbishop Desmond Tutu Rights and equalities. The new single equality body, the Equality and Human Rights Commission will for example include a religion strand as well as race and disability. The problems emerge when these different ideas and rights clash. This was recently a source of much tension for Christians as many lobbied Parliament against provisions in the Equality Act’s Discrimination Law Review. The issue was reported in the media as the ‘Gay adoption’ row. In reality it went far deeper into how freedom of speech and conscience work in public life. So how can we understand the complexity of how Christianity is both more accepted as
a lifestyle choice and perhaps even as an inspiration for political ideas, and yet certain Christian beliefs are frowned upon and the idea of ‘Christian politics’ is still highly controversial? It is interesting that on so called ‘traditional moral issues’, such as Government support for marriage, Christians appear to be making a ‘judgement’ on personal lifestyle and perhaps as a result are sometimes accused of infringing personal freedom. Whereas on issues that even in a post modern relativistic society are considered universally just, for example international development, there is political and dare I say it ‘moral’ consensus. On these issues like the Jubilee Debt Campaign and Make Poverty History Christians often led or took prominent roles and were given fulsome credit by high profile and Christian influenced politicians such as Gordon Brown. Our new Prime Minister is perhaps a fascinating example of how this duality is played out. On the one hand having a private faith does not seem to do Mr Brown any harm. (Tony Blair’s apparently more public pronouncements on faith did not seem to play well.) On the other hand Mr Brown is not shy of stating that his father’s faith and vocation as a Church of Scotland minister had a foundational influence on his life. Mr Brown has said that his church minister father’s moral compass has guided him through each stage in his life, teaching him the importance of integrity, decency, treating people fairly and duty to others. But on domestic policy, Mr Brown seems to fall short of support on many issues that Christians have campaigned for. Perhaps the Prime Minster is simply making a democratic judgement that in certain policy areas the nation does not want ‘Christian policies’ or to see such policies imposed on a secular society. On the other hand concern for the world’s poor is championed both within and beyond Christianity. David Cameron, the Conservative Party leader attends a
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Faith in Politics Continued from Page 43
his local church, and he is involved with the Conservative Christian Fellowship, particularly when he delivered the keynote address at this year’s annual CCF Wilberforce address. Is this cuddling up to Christian groups and church leaders an electoral ploy by the Conservative leader? Or is it instead a realisation of the increasing importance politicians are placing upon reaching communities through the religious groups that often seem to form their social glue. There is perhaps an acknowledgement from politicians of all parties that they need to work with those at the grass roots or else ‘politics’ is meaningless. The Rev Nims Obunge of the Peace Alliance is certainly one person I know whose Christian ministry, community work and political activism all blend into one another. Politicians cannot hope to relate better to the nation if they cannot better relate to local communities. Hazel Blears, the Labour deputy leadership candidate is now Secretary of State for Communities and Local Government in Gordon Brown’s new Cabinet, a key role in building and supporting civil society. It was intriguing that she delivered a Bible reading at the Labour Party Conference service and said at a deputy leader’s hustings meeting that “the Labour party owes more to Methodism than to Marx”. Meanwhile the Conservative Party appears to be on a political journey towards a more compassionate and socially aware agenda. When David Cameron was elected as leader he commissioned Iain Duncan Smith to lead a social justice policy group for the Conservative Party which has reported back with policy recommendations that borrow much from Christian principles. Not surprising considering that when Iain Duncan Smith was Conservative leader his chief of staff was a former leader of the Conservative Christian Fellowship. In fact when you leave the streets and enter the rarefied and somewhat artificial world of Westminster itself you would be amazed how many Christians work there. Of 649 MPs, over 80 would claim to have a Christian commitment. This is a higher percentage of Christians than in the UK population as a whole. There are also a myriad of researchers and staff who are Christian. I am part of a Parliamentary Fellowship whose meetings attract cleaners, cooks, MPs, researchers, police and librarians! It seems that if politics has ‘thawed’ towards Christianity, then the Church is also increasingly encouraging its members to see politics as an honourable vocation and one where modern day Daniels can develop principled God honouring careers as campaigners, civil servants and elected politicians. The Evangelical Alliance Public Affairs department produces a monthly parliamentary magazine, PQ, and a monthly ‘Prayer and Campaigns’ action and prayer sheet. Both of these are available on www.eauk. org, along with topical political briefing material. To speak directly to Gareth send an email to pub-aff@eauk.org 44 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 44 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
The Bourne Psychology
The series redefined the movie action hero but John Zach argues that there’s more to the Jason Bourne trilogy than immediately meets the eye.
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man floats face up on the surface of the water. To the casual observer he’s a drifting corpse. A passing fishing trawler spots the body and retrieves it from the water and as he’s laid out on the boat’s deck he moves a hand. The man is very much alive but unconscious, with two bullet holes in his back. Moments after the bullets are extracted, he wakes up and instinctively switches to an aggressive, defensive mode. Thus begins the roller coaster ride through a trilogy to unravel the real identity of an amnesiac spy; meet the man known as Jason Bourne. Let me get it out of the way here and now: I love the Bourne trilogy. Apart from being an absorbing and intense thrill ride, I also see many parallels between the journey undertaken by the character played so deftly by Matt Damon and that taken by numerous men after their conversion to the Christian faith. At its heart the Bourne trilogy is an exploration of rediscovery and Jason Bourne can very easily be viewed as a template for the male suffering from an identity crisis. His life, like the life of every man in search of their true identity, revolves around three questions: Who am I? Where am I from? Where am I heading? Buried away in the answers to these questions, lies the information necessary for the proper functioning of every man. In other words a man needs to precisely define his identity before he can accurately set the trajectory of his life. Knowledge is power and without it confusion of purpose is inevitable, no matter how gifted or skilled the man. In the first instalment of the movie trilogy, The Bourne Identity, we meet our protagonist for the first time and stride into his world, one he’s discovering anew and having to acclimatize to. Determined to find out who he is, his only clue to his identity exists in the form of details of a bank account in Zurich. However, the safety deposit box at the bank throws up more confusion than solutions, as it reveals multiple identities all linked to him. Now he’s got to eliminate all the identities save for the real one; in other words to find out who he’s not. Sound familiar? What follows is a thrill-a-minute ride through the movie and by the end of
Identity, our amnesiac spy has discovered that he’s an assassin for a covert chapter within the CIA that wants him dead because he’s bungled a job and has thus become a liability. He also concludes that his real name is Jason Bourne, simply because that’s what everyone calls him, and believing that he’s successfully answered the three questions he opts for a new career and a relationship with the only friend he has made, a gypsy named Marie. Then comes The Bourne Supremacy, which introduces us to the next chapter in Bourne’s chaotic world, wherein Bourne is dragged out of retirement by events taking place thousands of miles away when he’s setup and framed for murder. In the course of trying to escape an assassination-attempt, Marie is killed and he travels to Berlin to unravel the mystery and deliver his brand of justice. Managing to secure a new ally, a CIA Director called Pamela Landy, he extracts and records a confession for the murders which absolves him. However, realizing that he was unwittingly responsible for the murder of a Russian politician and his wife he sets out to Moscow to find their daughter to set the record straight. In this act of penitence Bourne is gradually transformed into a killer with a conscience. The final chapter of Bourne’s quest for his real identity The Bourne Ultimatum -reveals a man who still hungers for a normal existence but realizes that he still hasn’t got all the answers. Once again the subject of a manhunt, Bourne outwits and overpowers all opposition to trace his roots to the training facility in New York where he’d trained to become a killing machine. At the end he discovers his real name, and that he’s an ex-soldier, a patriot who reluctantly became an assassin. He’s now equipped with all he needs to reset the trajectory of his life. The ball, so to speak, is now in his court. Many of us start life searching for meaning, not really knowing who we are, why we are, where we’ve come from or where we should be going to. So we become shaped by circumstances and our environments and follow a path that we believe we were cut out for. Then we encounter a man who reconstructs our selfimpressions and embark on a secondary journey to self-discovery. Many of us sometimes feel like Bourne. We’re social amnesiacs who spend years trying to figure out who we are, finding stability but then getting jaded by routine. As we set about digesting new information following our encounter with Jesus we willingly ditch the old stuff and press forward towards a new goal, only, like Bourne, to find ourselves up against familiar opposition in the shape of former buddy, satan, who’s determined to eliminate us because we’ve become a liability to his objectives. We discover along the journey that we’ve got skills and abilities that we can’t explain and quite often misuse these skills because they aren’t following the stated function in the design manual. And just when we think we have all the answers, we’re thrust into a fresh set of circumstances, which reveal another layer of ignorance. In a sense we are Jason Bourne, never really knowing where the journey will take us or where it’ll end. But unlike Bourne we have one guarantee: our confidence in the intentions of a creator who is working to bring us to an expected end. As we latch unto this reality and submit ourselves – skills and all – to be used for a purpose of greater eternal benefit we become impervious to harm and triumph even in the midst of adversity. Until we discover who we are, we’re very much like our amnesiac agent: lost, deceived, misdirected and in the dark, and our search for a true identity often finds us travelling back in time and requiring a degree of resilience, determination, and no little skill to deal with all the obstacles along the way. That is the Bourne Psychology.
WHEN GOD SAYS NOTHING Continued from Page 42
saying this to be shocking; this is a reality. A few weeks ago, I met a girl who’d been raped. She’d cried out to God while it was happening for it to stop, and he didn’t intervene. She said to my friend, ‘I can forgive the person who raped me, because good people do bad things. But I can’t forgive God, because he did nothing and he could have.’ Now, I don’t think that counts as a yes, a no or a wait. I think God wanted that rape to stop and it didn’t because evil is let loose in the world – and we’re caught up in the spiritual battle.” In the book, Pete gives a list of answers to the questions of unanswered prayer. “I think there’s a slight myth out there that we just have to stumble blind through the veils of mystery when it comes to personal suffering,” he says. “And, actually, to many of our questions, there are really good answers. Not to all of them, but to many of them. “Sometimes there are issues of commonsense. Sometimes we’re asking God to do something nonsensical, and we just have to accept that God’s commonsense is better than ours. Then there’s contradiction. If you’ve got a Man U supporter at one end of the stadium praying for a win, and a City supporter at the other end praying for the same thing, what’s God supposed to do? Laws of nature are another one we often forget. Sometimes we pray for things to happen that might be bad for a vast number of people because they defy the laws of nature – which, by and large, are good and make life work well. If every prayer for a sunny wedding day were answered, there’d be terrible drought in the world that would affect billions of people! God’s going to have to let some brides have dodgy, rain-soaked wedding photographs – and if they lose their faith over it, that’s really their issue.
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I think we’ve allowed a climate to grow in Christian tradition that is hostile to honesty, transparency, vulnerability and weakness.” “Another reason I give is, life’s tough! I think our generation struggles with the issues of unanswered prayer more than previous ones, because we think we’ve got the right to an easy life. And when hard stuff happens, we feel indignant. Whereas old people, or people with disabilities, or people living in the developing world know that life is fundamentally bloomin’ hard, and they’re not so shocked and surprised. Some of the most godly people I know are people who say ‘Why?’ to God about their blessings. But we tend to say ‘Why?’ about our sufferings. “I think we’ve allowed a climate to grow in certain Christian traditions in the West over the last 50 years that is hostile to honesty, hostile to lament, hostile to transparency and vulnerability and weakness. Personally, I think we’ve bought into Darwinism and confused it with theology. We think that we’ve all got to be super-healthy, supersuccessful overcomers all the time. That’s actually got very little to do with the Bible, and it’s got everything to do with the survival of the fittest. I read my Bible, and it’s about children inheriting the Kingdom. It’s about the meek, the weak, the lost, the lame, the orphans, the widows, the poor inheriting the Kingdom of Heaven. So we’ve got to be a little careful, I think, before we say that God wants everyone to be a multi-millionaire, or that he wants everyone to succeed. The bottom line is, God is good and life’s a bitch, and we have to try and make sense of those two realities. “If we just focus on the negatives, we’ll become cynical. And nobody likes a cynic. We need faith and we need hope. God is good all the time, and true to all his promises. But if we only focus on the goodness of God to the exclusion of how hard and painful life can be, we’ll alienate the very people Jesus sends us to love and comfort. So we’ve got to be real about the pain, and real about the hope that we have in Jesus. The book of Psalms is two-thirds lament and only one-third happy-clappy victory shouts. But if you do an analysis of the worship songs we sing on Sunday morning, it’s 99.9% happy-clappy. We haven’t got any real space in our culture for mess, or for honesty about our disappointments and struggles. The very word Israel means ‘struggle’. Our faith is rooted not in easy answers, but in questions; in struggle, and in lament. God’s not insecure; we don’t need to be worried. Real faith can be honest about the tough stuff as well as the good stuff.” God On Mute by Pete Greig is published by Soul Survivor. Further information on the 24-7 Prayer movement can be found at www.24-7prayer.com
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SPECIAL FEATURE | CHRISTIAN FASHION
CHANGING THE FACE OF CHRISTIAN FASHION
Concepts of fashion are usually allied to vanity and caprices, hardly recommended Christian virtues. Still this hasn’t stopped a new breed of clothing entrepreneurs spreading their own brand of consciousness. by Ranui Samuels
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hristian Fashion. It’s almost an oxymoron putting the two words in the same sentence. However, it’s a relatively new development which has been steadily growing and is on the verge of breaking out onto the UK high street. 2008 looks to be an interesting year for a small group of individuals who have been building a strong base of garments and accessories with a 46 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 46 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
faith based message. In a flurry of activity that has largely been based around sales at Christian summer festivals, such as Soul Survivor and New Wine in Shepton Mallet, these small brands have steadily been growing their profiles and collections. The term “Christian clothing” conjures up images of cheesy
SPECIAL FEATURE | CHRISTIAN FASHION slogans and mediocre design typically, but with a brain trust of commercial Christian designers and printers, this image is rapidly vanishing. At the helm of this movement into a mainstream fashion world lie a number of brands. Brands of note include RISE Worldwide, SevenX Clothing, Rock, Dialogue and Saccloth Anashes. Far from the sloganbased Christian tees of old, these brands are pushing out into organic clothing, directional jackets and bright colours seen more typically in the most cutting-edge NY or London streetwear shops. As the bonds between the brand owners strengthen, so does their diversity and design. The brand owners are comprised of business men, industry-led design professionals, screenprinters and students in fashion colleges across the country, and they’ve added to their ranks some of the best Christian business professionals. The latest development is a launch towards the end of March 2008 of a fashion store, Urban Thunder, right in the heart of London’s Covent Garden shopping area.
RISE Worldwide (www.rise-worldwide.com) RISE Worldwide launched officially in February 2006 with a vision to bridge the yawning chasm that divides the Christian clothing scene from the secular. Ranui and Dee Samuels, the visionaries behind RISE, have been laying the foundation for RISE for the better part of the last 3 years, establishing a HQ for RISE in Birmingham complete with in-house screen-printing and design studio. RISE is inspired by the words of Micah 7.8: “Do not gloat over me, my enemy, for though I have fallen, I will RISE...” a verse which speaks of the power resident in the life of a Christian - the power that Paul mentions in Philippians 4.13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
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The term ‘Christian clothing’ conjures up images of cheesy slogans and mediocre design.” Essentially RISE desires to awaken this belief and reliance on God in each individual it touches; the clothing is the visual presence but the fashion serves the purpose of reaching out to encourage a cynical and fearful world with a message of strength and hope. Around 40 products are produced each year, in a range that extends to jackets, leather belts and skateboard decks.
Seven X (www.sevenx.co.uk) SevenX is an ethical action sports label based in the Scottish highlands, basically a small collective of creatives and action sports nuts who make street wear and sell it online to likeminded people. SevenX supports seven action sports: Surfing, Wind Surfing, Snowboarding, Skiing, Mountain Boarding, Mountain Biking and Zapcat Racing. By wearing SevenX, you not only know your product is ethically made but you get to put back: 10 percent of all profits go to The Cause Charity, which takes underprivileged kids out into the wild to experience extreme sports.
Dialogue Clothing The ethos behind Dialogue is that purpose in life is found in people and not in things. As a label it hopes to encourage daily connections and conversations between people who are both friends and strangers; that the thoughts, images and concepts expressed on the t-shirts might be a small
step in creating the opportunity for this to happen more often.
Saccloth Anashes (www.sacclothanashes.com) Saccloth Anashes was built on the belief that there was a need for quality fashion brands in the Christian market and for the face of Christianity to be overhauled and re-branded, starting with our hearts on an individual basis. In the Bible, whether they were interceding, mourning, repenting or incessantly praying for God to change things, when people put on sackcloth and sat in the dust, pouring ashes over their heads, it was an outward sign of what was going on inside their hearts. It showed a passion for something in their lives, a desperate desire for God to heal, save, forgive or change things. Saccloth Anashes hopes to provide support and reminders for Jesus’ modern-day followers as they strive to adopt that state of heart. Saccloth Anashes is a tool to get that message across, the definitive brand, strengthening the foundation of the Kingdom of God through Prayer.
Rock Clothing (www.rockkit.co.uk) Rock is a London-based clothing company with a clear vision: “Arresting visual design, provocative gospel messages, one clothing label dedicated to making design confess and fashion bend its knee.” Rock Clothing is a brand that is passionate to see the Word of God spread to the four corners of the world, by providing apparel that encourages Christians to really bring their faith into our lifestyles, seven days a week. ‘Trust in the lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.’ Isaiah 26.4 Opposite page: Saccloth Anashes; Below (clockwise from left): RISE Worldwide, Rock Clothing, Seven X, Dialogue Clothing.
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FAITH IN SPORTS | SIMON BUTLER
Living In The Fast Lane Words by Simon Butler
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et me begin by being clear about one thing. I don’t compete to come second. My chosen sport, motor racing, is fast, furious, and highly competitive and to be honest, that’s why I like it so much. I love the adrenaline rush that comes from pushing myself and my car to the limit. I feel so alive as I race wheel to wheel at 150mph and fight for every inch of tarmac. Racing has been in my blood since an early age. At 5 years old I spent many a happy hour playing with my friends in our pedal cars. Only it was no docile game, I remember taking un-necessary bits off my pedal car to make it lighter so that I could go faster and win the ‘round the drive’ race! From there, my fascination with all things engine driven grew and over the years I took part in a number of indoor kart races – winning every time. Eventually aged 15, I managed to convince my Father to pay for me to test drive a proper racing kart and from this very first test I knew I was hooked. I went on to compete in a variety of racing karts in several national championships, and eventually on to competing in 48 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 48 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
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I try to live life to the full and motor racing is a picture of how the whole of life should be lived – on the edge and out of the comfort zone” car racing. I’m the first to acknowledge that I’ve been very lucky in that I’ve driven all sorts of racing cars, from Single Seaters to GT racers, and I’ve loved every minute that I’ve spent in the driving seat. If I had to pick a highlight of my racing
career so far, then without a doubt it has to be driving a Formula 1 car at Circuit Paul Ricard in Southern France. In May 2007 I was fortunate enough to have an entire day in a Prost AP03 from the 2000 season – it was an awesome experience. With 850bhp at my right foot, a top speed of over 220mph, and a 0-60 time of 2.3seconds, the car took some getting used to, but once I’d settled into it I began to push the car, and myself, harder and harder. You see that’s what I enjoy – pushing the limits, seeing how far I can go, taking myself to the edge because I love cars, I love speed, I love to race, and I love to win. Oh, and by the way, I love Jesus too. In fact I love Jesus rather more than anything car related. It’s at this point that eye-brows normally begin to raise, but there’s more…because I’m also a full time clergyman in the Church of England. For many people that comes as a bit of a surprise and I often find myself reflecting on why that should be so. For many people the idea that one can be a Christian, and especially a clergyman, and be a racing driver too, simply doesn’t compute. At this point it is my turn to raise my eyebrows – I’ve never understood why the combination of racing driver and Christian doesn’t work? As far as I’m concerned it is a perfectly natural combination as both involve the pursuit of life to the full. John10:10 is an important verse for me – it’s one on which I have based my life and ministry for many years now. “Jesus said ‘I have come that they may have life in all it’s fullness’”, what a wonderful phrase – so dynamic, so exciting, so full of risk, and yet so full of promise and hope. Life to the full, real life, life as it
FAITH IN SPORTS | SIMON BUTLER
should be – this is the invitation of Jesus to all, and as I read that invitation I see boundless possibilities opening up on the horizon, I see risks to take and I see boundaries to be pushed back, as I explore all that life to the full with Jesus means. If I’m honest motor-racing is just one of the ways in which I seek to do this, there are many more ways in which I try to live life to the full with Christ – but motor racing is illustrative, it gives some form to the concept because for me it is a picture of how the whole of life should be lived – on the edge and out of the comfort zone, always pushing for more. This is the essence of my faith. But for many, it seems, this combination doesn’t really belong together. But why? Why is it that being a highly competitive, adrenaline-rush seeking man, is deemed incompatible with being a Christian and a clergyman? This I think is a key question and one that we as men in the church, no matter what our sporting preferences and no matter how we get our kicks, need to address – for the benefit of others, for the benefit of our Gospel message, and for our own benefit. There is, it seems, a widely spread notion within the Church that masculinity is something that Jesus didn’t really like too much – that the meek and mild saviour would have been far happier at a cake sale than he would have been on the rugby pitch. As a result I often feel a pressure to hang up my masculinity at the door of the church along with my coat – and I know that I’m not alone in this. This presents us with two serious
problems; a problem for men who already know and follow Christ, and a problem for men who don’t yet know and follow Christ – and I believe that these problems need addressing directly. For example - how can any man be expected to worship God in spirit and truth if he feels he has to deny, to a degree, his fundamental and created nature and the many traits that go with it? If competitiveness, a ‘can do’ mentality, toughness, and strength, are less valued than weakness, gentleness, and softness, how can any man feel fully valued and accepted? I’m fairly sure the answer is that he can’t. And so it is commonplace to find men in Church who seek to know and follow Christ with all their heart that simply can’t engage with what is said and sung because it doesn’t engage with or speak to them as men, created and loved by God. Likewise they feel under-valued because the gifts they bring, the attitudes and strengths that they have, are not deemed as important as those most often associated with the ‘newman’ concept – there is, it seems, very little role for the ‘traditional-man’ in modern day Church life. This is the problem it presents for the men who already know and follow Christ, but it presents another problem; a problem for those who don’t yet know and follow Jesus. I find that one of the biggest barriers to reaching men with the good news of Jesus is the perception that Christianity is for women and children – sadly a perception that is enforced on a regular basis up and down the country as churches fail to appreciate the roles and needs of men. One of my great hopes is that through
motor-racing I might begin to engage with men who would never step near a church, men who value their masculinity and will not stand for being stripped of it, men who are passionate and committed to their sport, and men who could be even more passionately committed to Jesus. As well as living out my interpretation of life to the full at the circuit it is my hope that I might introduce others to life to the full with Christ too. I am not alone in working in this field, there are two major motor-sport based projects that are actively seeking to reach out to men – Life Discovery, which holds monthly motor-sport based outreach days at it’s venue near Gatwick Airport (www.lifediscovery.co.uk) and Christians in Motorsport, which organises outreach to the motor-sport community across the UK (www.christiansinmotorsport.org.uk) It is my hope that the church will allow men to be men and not seek to strip them of their masculinity. It is my hope that as this happens, we as Christian men, will be increasingly empowered to reach out to other men with a message that is credible, exciting, and strong – a message that meets men as men, and invites them to fullness of life with Christ. If you’d like to follow my progress this coming season, I’ll be competing in the 750Motor Club Formula 4 championship, car number 23. I’m doing something a little different with the car and running it with branding from various companies with fair/ethical trading policies in an effort to raise awareness of fair and ethical trade issues in what is a highly commercialised sport. I’ll be racing at Brands Hatch, Silverstone, Donnington, and Mallory Park. Log on to www.tradingfairly.co.uk for updates, and www.750mc.co.uk for championship information.
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FASHION & STYLE - TECHNOLOGY - GROOMING - FITNESS & HEALTH
mandate toolkit Apple Mac Pro 8
The Best of Show
Introducing the best gadgets to come in 2008 (and some that are still hot from 2007)
2008’s the year of Apple, and the Mac Pro 8’s performance is as strong as you’d expect for a system in its class. It’s priced right and has design innovations that we hope will cross over to other systems. You might need more flexibility in your config options, especially for 3D design, but otherwise, the Mac Pro is as solid a professional-class PC as we’ve seen. 8-core processing was once reserved as a high-end option, now it’s at the heart of the Mac Pro line. This incredible power stems from all-new QuadCore Intel Xeon “Harpertown” processors, featuring speeds up to 3.2GHz and 12MB of L2 cache per processor. With its 8core processing, advanced Xeon architecture, 1600MHz dual independent front-side buses, and 800MHz memory, the new Mac Pro delivers up to 2x greater application performance. The cable-free, direct-attach hard drive bays make it easy to install up to 4TB of storage with Serial ATA 3Gb/s drives. For enhanced data protection, the optional Mac Pro RAID card delivers hardware RAID levels 0, 1, 5, and 0+1. Used with this card, 15,000-rpm SAS drives bring added performance to RAID configurations. All new, high-performance graphics cards from ATI and NVIDIA offer even greater performance for 3D and graphics- intensive applications. For more power, upgrade to a workstation-class card with up to 1.5GB of memory. All cards now support up to two 30-inch Apple Cinema HD displays.
Still Hot from 2007 HP Blackbird 002
Who would have thought that Hewlett Packard, that peddler of bland officebound boxes – which remain beige even as most colour schemes move on – would pair up with Voodoo to turn
out 2007’s most-distinctive desktop gaming tower? And good Lord, what a box! Even if similar specs are offered by a dozen other outfits, none could match that sexily etched case.
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TOOLKIT | GEAR
Nokia N96 Nokia N96 is a multimedia computer optimized for video and TV and is slated to be the successor to the hugely popular N95. With a large 2.8” screen, 16 gigabytes of internal memory and support for highquality videos in a wide range of formats, the dual-slide Nokia N96 represents an exciting new chapter in mobile media. Accessing internet videos is quick and simple, as the Nokia N96 supports common video formats including MPEG-4, Windows Media Video and Flash Video. Transferring and accessing videos is even faster with the high-speed USB 2.0 connection and WLAN and HSDPA support. In select markets, the integrated DVB-H receiver offers live broadcast TV with an automatically updating program guide. The massive memory can store up to 40 hours of video content. The Nokia N96 boasts a 5 megapixel camera with Carl Zeiss optics, flash and video light. It allows DVD-like quality video capture at 30 frames per second. Further, with the integrated AGPS, consumers can now ‘geotag’ their pictures with location data and share them with their online communities. The Nokia N96 is expected to begin shipping in the third quarter of 2008.
Still Hot from 2007 Serene Mobile
As a phone the Serene (the result of a collaboration between Bang & Olufsen and Samsung) is the embodiment of innovation, style and technology, and it goes without saying that it enjoys the best sound and speech recognition ever heard in a mobile.
Still Hot from 2007 FlyBook V5
The FlyBook is not just a tablet notebook, but a complete Business Centre, and thanks to its connective technology, including Bluetooth, it will also allow you to make phone calls worldwide via the web at no extra cost.
Asus U6 The ASUS U6 notebook Series is the fabulous jewel to light up any computing experience, with extra sparkle guaranteed to captivate all eyes. Available in both mocha brown (U6Sg) and pearl white (U6Ep), the notebook is a study in structured design and sturdiness. The leather bound palm rest adds yet another dimension to the design (U6Sg) with a softness that personalizes the computing experience.
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TOOLKIT | GEAR
Nakamichi Kimono The Kimono is the latest High Definition LCD Display from Nakamichi, the grand synthesis of two traditional legacies – the inherent beauty of the Japanese traditional costume and the engineering excellence of Nakamichi. The television is available in two sizes – 42 inch and 47 inch screen – and other than its exceptional design, it also offers the consumers a compelling high definition viewing experience. High Definition Multimedia Interface (HDMI) technology facilitates the 100% transmission of both the visual and audio digital signals, reproducing crisp images and sound flawlessly.
Still Hot from 2007
BeoVision 9
Ever noticed how some people can take possession of any room, just on the strength of their personality? Well, the BeoVision 9 is the television equivalent of that. The 50-inch plasma screen is produced to the highest Bang & Olufsen standards, while below the surface, the advanced VisionClear picture correction engine tunes every single image to perfection, while pausing, recording and delaying live broadcasts become second nature with the integrated HDR 2. Just as integral are the integrated Acoustic Lens mono centre speaker and highly advanced digital surround sound processor that lay the foundation for great sound.
Zune 2 Zune 2 offers uncompromising portable video and audio playback together with a beautiful 3.2-inch screen, innovative touch controls, wireless sharing and premium headphones. It holds up to 20,000 songs, or 25,000 pictures, or 250 hours of video. The big screens are great for videos, but premium headphones are essential for music and are designed to block out external noise. Kiss slow scrolling goodbye and fly effortlessly through your music, picture and video collections as the innovative new Zune pad makes browsing your device a blast. Built-in FM radio means you can tune in to one of your favourite local stations while on the go or working out, with advanced tuning capabilities allowing you to see the name of the song currently playing on select frequencies.
Still Hot from 2007 Apple iTouch
Apple’s amazing iTouch put paid to the theory of the Internet reducing mobility, allowing you to listen to your favourite music; watch movies, iTunes movie rentals, and music videos; catch up on TV shows; get directions, check the weather, follow stocks; flick through photos; surf the web and send email, all while sitting on the train or even walking down the street. With Wi-Fi, the Internet goes wherever you go.
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TOOLKIT | THRILLS
S
kydivers get together to practice their art in a ‘drop zone’, and this is where to start if you want to learn. Drop zones are dotted across the UK (http://www.bpa. org.uk/dropzone/dzone.htm) and once you find the nearest one, just give them a call.
Ground School Once you’ve filled out the necessary paperwork at the drop zone, you’ll probably find yourself in a classroom with a handful of others taking their first jump. All the practising completed at this point is done on the ground and, depending on the size of that day’s class, the sessions usually lasts around four hours. Ground school involves a lot of hands-on practice getting in and out of a plane, steering a pseudo-canopy (parachute), learning how to pull the emergency rip cord, and people telling you constantly not to panic if anything goes wrong. This sounds a bit odd; if you are falling from three thousand feet with a parachute that suddenly becomes entangled in its own control lines, what else are you going to do?
First Static Line Jump
Taking to the Skies
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The first jump is what everyone who skydives remembers for the rest of their life, whether they go on to jump again or not. Oddly enough, it is the simplest, easiest jump anyone will ever do. For the first jump you, and two other ground school attendees, will hop in a plane with your jumpmaster. Once you get to around 3500 feet, the pilot will cut the engine to slow the plane down to about 80mph. The jumpmaster, after making sure your static line (a cord which, when it reaches its end, will automatically open the parachute for you) is secure, will open the door and tell you to start working your way out. You then need to grab the wing strut, brace your feet, and stand up slowly, which is not an easy task in an 80mph headwind. You then work your hands out to the end of the wing strut and pick your feet up. At this point you will be hanging for dear life on to the wing of an airplane in flight. Your jumpmaster will then give you the signal to let go. Having released your grip on the wing you will find
yourself suddenly falling through the air and after approximately three seconds the static line will reach the end and your canopy will open above you. At this point you will receive a message from your jumpmaster to untangle any line twists and release your brakes. With checks completed you
TOOLKIT | GROOMING can then follow instructions and release the brakes. It is at this point that you will likely be hit full force by the immensity of what you have just done and chances are you will break into hysterical laughter. You’ll hit the ground with your feet and immediately fall on your backside, because no matter how much you thought you’d be the one in your class to hit the ground running, almost nobody does on their first jump. At this point, quite rightly, you can truly celebrate knowing that you have done something that sets you apart from the crowd.
A PERFECT SHAVE
More Training Jumps that follow get consecutively higher and place increased responsibility on you to go through the routine yourself, without prompting. After approximately five static line jumps you will do a hop-&-pop, which means you jump out and immediately pull your rip cord. You then go on to free falls, where you start higher and higher up and wait longer and longer before you pull your rip cord. You start to learn the procedure for packing your own chute. You also begin to have more independence in navigation; you depend less on the radio to get you back to the airport.
Accelerated Free Fall Training Accelerated Free Fall (AFF) training puts you in free fall from your first jump. You get the option to pull your own rip cord, or fly with a perfectly capable instructor on either side of you with a rip cord within reach. Instead of the 3500ft reached for the static line jumpers, you will be taken up to approximately 10,000ft, and as you progress your opening height will decrease until you are finally opening at around 2500 - 3000ft. Your initial free fall will last for approximately 30 seconds. The AFF course consists of eight levels of increasing difficulty. Each level requires that certain tasks be completed in order for the level to be passed. You will jump with two instructors, who will both hold on to you throughout the jump, and a camera person for your first three levels. By the third jump just one instructor will be holding on while the other observes from a short distance away. Only one instructor will jump with you for levels four through to seven and once the remaining instructor feels you are stable enough on your own he will begin letting go, but remain close at hand should he feel that his assistance is required. By your eighth jump, providing all levels have been passed first time, you will be flying solo, enjoying the total freedom of the skies.
Final Word... One question that is bound to come up is, “Is skydiving dangerous?” and the simple answer is, “Yes, it can be.” You’re going to be high up in an airplane and, at some point during your journey, you are going to leave the safety of said airplane while still in flight. This is an inherently dangerous procedure. However, if you pay attention and do what you are taught, you will be fine. Granted, there is the possibility of a total catastrophic equipment failure, but this is less likely than winning the big prize on the lottery or being struck by lightning. In truth most casualties are the result of inexperienced jumpers taking unnecessary risks, trying to break records, or just generally showing off beyond their ability. Still, if you think all this is too much for you then you can try a Wind Tunnel, which provides all the thrills of skydiving, the only difference being that instead of you going to the skies, the skies come to you. The 2 most well known indoor skydiving outfits are Airkix (www.airkix.com), based in Milton Keynes, and Bodyflight (www.bodyflight.co.uk) in Bedfordshire. Sources http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A518889 http://www.bpa.org.uk/dropzone/dzone.htm http://www.airkix.com http://www.bodyflight.co.uk
Start clean When it comes to shaving, it’s really a question of preference. Some like it dry and completely uncomplicated. Others need the wet shave for that feeling of total freshness. Make it as simple as you like. However, you should decide which it is going to be right after getting out of bed because as a wet shaver, you have to shower first (this makes your whiskers soft), as a dry shaver, shave before showering (it’s better with dry hair). Whichever method you prefer, the important thing is you shouldn’t neglect proper skin care. That’s why we have put together several tips for your daily shaving routine…
The art of the wet shave It’s very clear that the wet shave is a learned skill. Here is how to do it smoothly, without nicking yourself at all: First wet your whiskers. You have probably already done this in the shower, if not, there is another way. Simply place a wet, warm wash cloth on the area of your face to be shaved for at least two minutes. Afterwards, dab only lightly. Now comes the shaving cream. Prepare your skin and your hair for the impending stress with the right gel or shaving cream for your skin type.
The ABCs of handling a razor Let’s start with the placement of the blade. Use only a razor-sharp blade — after two or three shaves, it’s time to change it. And always move the blade in the direction of hair growth. As a rule, the hair on your upper lip, your cheeks, chin and hairline grows downwards, but the hair on your neck grows upward. Shaving against the direction of growth risks in-grown hairs and inflammation. When shaving, pull your skin tight with your fingers and don’t press down on the blade too hard. In between strokes, rinse the blade thoroughly in warm water. Shave in sections that are softer by nature, and in this sequence: Cheek, neck, upper lip, chin. And if it bleeds? Then cold water is usually enough for small wounds. When finished, wash away the remaining shaving cream with lukewarm water, and then rinse with cold water.
The big finale Wet or dry — what is now missing after every shave is a soothing balm, which pampers your skin with enriching plant substances and gives you a well-earned sense of relaxation. To conclude, there is still one important question to be answered: How often should you actually shave? The answer varies. Depending on your whisker growth, anything is possible, from shaving daily to every three to four days. And obviously how often you shave is also a question of style. Because whether you prefer it smooth and tidy or stubbly to rakish, you decide that for yourself. So, when it comes to shaving, rely on your own good taste and on our shaving and skin care tips.
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TOOLKIT | HEALTH & FITNESS
Choosing A Workout Buddy W
hen it comes to working out, there are usually two types of people: those who prefer to work out with a partner, and those who prefer to go it alone. Having a workout buddy has a variety of advantages and the choice of who you should share this time with depends on a few different factors. If you don’t choose your workout buddy smartly, you could find your gym visits suffering as your buddy will become more of a distraction than anything else. Here are some key points to keep in mind when you choose your workout buddy.
The spotter If you are someone who is constantly pushing the envelope, trying to go for your one-rep max or just simply progressively ensuring you are overloading your muscles with each session (which you should be doing to progress), a spotter is essential. A spotter will be there for you if you start to falter during a lift, and could potentially save you from a very serious injury. Simply knowing that this person is there for you also offers a bit of a psychological advantage because most guys, when they know they will be “backed” by a couple extra hands, can actually lift more than they thought they could. Don’t overestimate how much help you will actually be getting, either. When it comes to getting you out of a tight situation, a very gentle upward pull (using the bench press for example) will be more than enough to give you that little extra to hoist the weight back up to the top of the lift. So, if confidence and safety are your goal here, choose your workout buddy 56 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 56 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
accordingly and find a good spotter.
The mentor The next type of workout buddy that can offer a number of benefits is the “mentor.” If you are new to weightlifting and are looking for something to really ramp up your motivational levels, this is the partner for you. If you’re on the side looking for a mentor, keep in mind that not everyone will be looking for this type of workout buddy relationship. Some guys really prefer to workout with someone who is on par with their current fitness level, as they personally find this more motivating to them since they can push each other, pound for pound. Others find that this type of setup works great because, for them, passing on their knowledge and serving as an “idol” encourages them to be all that they can be. Just be sure that when you choose someone to be your mentor, you are choosing someone who knows what they are doing and isn’t naturally just overly muscular. While usually a muscle-bound body is the result of smart training and hard work, there are a few genetically lucky individuals who just had the right parents and may not entirely know what they are even doing in the gym - you don’t want to pick up on their bad habits. Choose your gym buddy wisely if you’re looking for a mentor, and make sure they are offering the right support and guidance for your specific training.
The socialiser Next, there is the complete other side of the workout buddy scale, applying to those who workout more for the social aspects they get out of it than anything else. When you choose your workout buddy it’s absolutely critical that you choose someone who also thinks this way - you don’t want to distract a more serious gym-goer. The worst type of workout-buddy relationship to get into is where one of you really wants to get in an intense workout, while the other would rather spend more time hanging around, conversing with the odd set thrown in-between conversations. This mindset is slightly less common, as it’s unusual for a guy to head to the gym without a bodybuilding goal in mind, but
make no mistake about it - every gym usually has at least a few of these talkative, chatty guys. So, it’s best for the talkers to pair up with each other; that way they won’t be able to distract the more serious gym rats.
The female workout buddy For some men, working out with a female can be a terrific motivator for more than the obvious reasons. Just being around a female can help to increase your testosterone levels, which then translates to you likely having a better workout session, and if it’s your girlfriend or wife you are working out with, this is a terrific activity for you both to do together that will help to strengthen the relationship. Far too often couples get into the habit of doing more sedentary activities, coupled with more eating than usual, which results in weight gain. This, in turn, tends to lead to problems regarding attraction. So by choosing fitness as a common hobby, you are addressing the problem before it starts. On the other hand, some men prefer a male workout buddy since they tend to be shy around females, and will thus be distracted. The important thing is realizing what works best for you.
The professional The last type of workout buddy that you might want to consider is an actual personal trainer. If you’re new to weightlifting or are looking to take your fitness to new levels, this could be the best choice for you. Not only will you receive similar benefits that you would receive from a mentor (motivational and learning), but it’s also pretty much a guarantee that this person is putting their full effort into ensuring you improve at the gym - if they aren’t, they’ll lose their job. When you look for a personal trainer as a workout buddy, first consider their certification. Check and make sure it’s backed by a respectable organization - you don’t want to be dishing out good money to someone who doesn’t really have a good grasp of exercise physiology and workout principles. Even better is if you can also find someone who has some type of nutritional training as well, because your workouts are really only half the equation, regardless of what your goal might be.
TOOLKIT | HEALTH & FITNESS The second thing to think about when hiring a trainer for a partner is their availability. Depending on your needs, if you want to have them with you for each session you’re at the gym, you need to ensure they have enough room to accommodate you.
Buddy up at the gym So, whether your goal is to get cut, bulk up
by adding pounds of new muscle to your frame or increase your speed and power, consider which workout training partner is going to be your best option. Remember too that you don’t necessarily have to have just one partner - you can have a few. This is a good option because as life gets busy, there are times when you’ll need to miss your workout. If
Cholesterol Lowering Diets
I
t’s great to look at diets that are aimed toward fat loss, muscle building, osteoporosis prevention, cancer prevention and so on, but there’s another very important type of diet that many men should be considering: cholesterollowering diets. There’s a prevalent increase in the consumption of fast food across the world, and as such there’s also a corresponding increase in bad cholesterol levels and heart disease. If you want a healthy system, it’s worth taking the time to understand cholesterol-lowering diets. Saturated fats should be on the radar of anyone who is on a cholesterol-lowering diet. These fats are found in a variety of foods, both processed and unprocessed, so start reading labels on a regular basis and you will be one step ahead in the cholesterol-lowering game. Another factor that many people overlook is the role your carbohydrate intake has on cholesterol levels. With carbohydrates, the exact type you ingest is absolutely essential to your health, because where one will cause problems the other helps. Simple, refined carbohydrates, such as those in table sugar, brown sugar, corn syrup, candy, baked pastries, granola bars, and processed cereals, contribute to problems with cholesterol levels due to the impact they have on insulin levels. Unrefined complex carbohydrates, on the other hand, tend to help lower cholesterol levels. They are able to do so because they are a good source of fibre, which helps to move cholesterol out of the body via the bloodstream, and they prevent you from eating other foods that could be potentially higher in saturated fat.
What is a healthy cholesterol level? Getting regular checkups and blood cholesterol readings is important to maintaining the upper hand with cholesterol. You need to take immediate action to lower your cholesterol if it reaches an unsafe range. If there is no family history, you should get your cholesterol level measured once every five years. Having a family history or being overweight means that you should get checked more frequently. Ideally, you want your blood cholesterol levels to be below 180, with 180 to 199 being acceptable. If you move into the 200 to 219 range, you have a level that’s borderline high and if you are above 220, you need to look for and follow cholesterol-lowering diets. Looking at the cholesterol types individually, high-density lipoprotein (HDL) is the kind of cholesterol that’s good and
“
Low-density lipoprotein can build up on the inner walls of your arteries, making them less flexible.” it’s considered too low if it is below 35, acceptable if it is between 36 and 50, and ideal if it is 50 or greater. Low-density lipoprotein (LDL) is the bad cholesterol and it’s at an ideal level if it’s less than 130, it’s considered borderline high between 131 and 159, and it’s too high if it is above 160. Understanding the two types of cholesterol is important, as they dramatically affect your health standing. HDL helps protect against heart attack and carries cholesterol away from the body in the arteries, transporting it to the liver where it will then be excreted. LDL circulates in the blood and can build up on the inner walls of your arteries. This accumulation then causes plaque, which proceeds to make the arteries less flexible. If this progresses enough, you are at risk for heart attacks or strokes.
Foods to help lower cholesterol levels Right away, you should try and build the core focus of your diet around fruits, vegetables and whole grains. These will provide you with essential vitamins, antioxidants, and they’re generally lower in both fat and calories, which helps control your weight. Weight is yet another factor that causes problems with high cholesterol; losing weight or preventing weight gain is important to your cholesterol as well.
Carbohydrate selection When it comes to choosing your carbohydrates, oatmeal and oat bran are particularly good to include in your cholesterollowering diet because of its high-soluble fibre content, which will absorb the cholesterol you ingest while it’s in the intestines. Other good choices that will achieve the same objective include kidney beans, brussel sprouts, apples, pears, psyllium, barley, and prunes. Pay attention to the fruits that are in your cholesterol-lowering diet and include as many as you can. Blueberries, for example, contain a cholesterol-lowering
you are the type who really relies on that additional support of another person to get yourself into the gym, having another partner can work highly to your advantage and keep you motivated no matter what the situation. Sources http://uk.askmen.com
antioxidant known as pterostilbene, should be consumed on a regular basis.
Protein selection When selecting the protein sources that you will include in your cholesterollowering diet, you really want to watch the quantity of red meat you eat. Red meat is high in saturated fat and you should, therefore, make extra effort to only choose the leanest sources possible. Furthermore, it’s important to lower your cholesterol to include omega-3 fatty acids and to get your recommended daily dose. Aim for 3 grams to 6 grams per day, with good sources being flaxseed, walnuts, salmon, canola and soybean oil, mackerel, herring, and sardines. Eggs are a common controversy when it comes to cholesterol. One large egg contains about 213 mg of cholesterol and for those watching their intake, it’s recommended to keep daily intake levels at 300 mg or lower. If you are eating a very low-cholesterol diet the rest of the time, one egg a day should be fine -- but you do need to pay extra attention to everything else you consume.
Fat selection The last aspect of your diet is dietary fat choices. As stated in the introduction, saturated fat is what you really want to watch here, as well as any products containing trans fats. Common food choices that contain these are high-fat dairy products, vegetable oil, fried or deepfried foods, butter, liver, cookies, crackers, and any other commercially processed foods. Instead, try and choose mono and polyunsaturated sources of dietary fat, with good sources being safflower, sesame, soy, corn and sunflower oil, all forms of nuts and seeds, olive oil, peanut oil, and avocados. Additionally, when you consume nuts, try to choose forms that still have their skin, since they will further contain properties that help lower cholesterol.
Construction zone Cholesterol is compared to traffic, and for good reason. We all know that our vascular system is comparable to a network of roads, and when there’s an accident or a stalled car, the congestion that follows ruins everyone’s day. The same is true in the body, only if the car that has stopped traffic isn’t removed, the road system gets closed permanently. Whether your cholesterol numbers are currently in the problematic range or not, it’s a good idea to start taking precautions and making select choices to your diet to help promote better cholesterol levels and protect your health in the future. Source: http://uk.askmen.com
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TOOLKIT | HEALTH & FITNESS
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our prostate gland lies just beneath your bladder, and in adult men, a typical prostate is about three centimetres long and weighs about twenty grams, roughly the size of a chestnut. Its main function is to store and secrete a clear, slightly alkaline (pH 7.29) fluid that makes up 10-30% of the volume of the seminal fluid that, along with spermatozoa, constitutes semen. The rest of the seminal fluid is produced by the two seminal vesicles. Smooth muscles are contained within the prostate, which help expel semen during ejaculation, and the glands require male hormones, known as androgens, to work properly. The prostate grows gradually after the age of about 50, and by the age of 70, about 8 in 10 men would have an enlarged prostate. It is common for older men to have urinary symptoms caused by a benign (non-cancerous) enlargement of the prostate. However, some men also develop prostate cancer.
Prostate Cancer
The Silent Killer 58 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 58 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
Prostate cancer is a malignant disease which develops from cells in the prostate gland. It is one of the most common cancers and most cases develop in men over the age of 65. The exact cause is not known. Nevertheless, the risk of developing prostate cancer is related to your age, diet and genetic f a c t o r s . Exposure to the metal cadmium, may also put you at risk.
Symptoms Prostate cancer often develops slowly, and while there might be no
symptoms at first, even for a period of years, as the tumour grows, it may press on and begin to irritate the urethra, or cause a partial blockage to the flow of urine. Symptoms may then develop that can include one or more of the following. • Weak flow of urine • A passage of some time before the urine flow begins. • Trickling out of urine, staining your undershorts soon after you finish at the toilet. • More than regular passing of urine. • Sudden and unpredictable urges to use the toilet. • A constant sensation of a full bladder. • Difficulty achieving erection. • Painful ejaculation. While the above symptoms are more common in older men there have been many cases of prostate cancer in young men. Most men who develop these symptoms do not have prostate cancer but have a benign (non-cancerous) enlargement of the prostate. However, it is best to get any new symptoms checked out by a doctor. If a doctor suspects that you may have prostate cancer, he or she would usually: • Examine the prostate gland. They do this by inserting a gloved finger through the anus into the rectum to feel the back of the prostate gland. • Carry out a blood test to measure the level of prostate specific antigen (PSA). Basically, the higher the level of PSA, the more likely it is that you have cancer of the prostate. To confirm the diagnosis of prostate cancer, a small biopsy of the prostate is taken by using a fine needle. To biopsy the prostate can be uncomfortable, so a local anaesthetic is used to reduce the pain as much as possible. Screening for prostate cancer is presently a controversial issue. While a routine blood test which shows a high PSA may indicate prostate cancer, there are other causes. Additionally, many prostate cancers are slow-growing and do not cause problems, particularly in older men. Put simply, some people believe that screening for all men may do more harm than good. Presently there is no national screening programme in the UK. However, you can decide for yourself if you would like a PSA test. It is best to discuss the pros and cons of the test with your GP.
What do I do now? If you believe you’ve developed any of the aforementioned symptoms, it’s advisable to see your GP for a proper assessment. There are various treatment options for prostate enlargement and cancer, and if picked up early, a good prognosis is a definite possibility. Information used in this article was acquired from www.patient.co.uk
TOOLKIT | LIFE
Top eats in London
monk’s purse. What to have Sushi, and more sushi. Sushi-Hiro, 1 Station Parade, Uxbridge Rd, W5 3LD (020 8896 3175) Ealing Common tube.
Vegetarian Fish
Tobia Barrafina A Soho-style homage to Barcelona’s legendary seafood bar Cal Pep No Barrafina is considered to be arguably the most appealing Spanish restaurant in London. Arrive just before noon and you might be lucky enough to avoid the queues for a stool at the convivial L-shaped bar (no bookings are taken). In addition to the sizeable regular menu, there’s a choice of daily specials, usually focused on the fresh seafood displayed behind the bar. Nibble on almonds, acorn-fed ham and pimientos de padrón while you wait for more involved dishes such as monkfish with spinach and pine nuts, and the must-have chips with fiery brava sauce. A slice of chocolate or Santiago tarts and fine coffee bring your treat of a lunch to a delicious conclusion. When to go As the doors open, otherwise you’ll have to queue. What to have Whatever your eyes lead you towards on the grill behind the bar counter. Barrafina, 54 Frith St, W1D 4SL (www.barrafina.co.uk)
Oriental
Sushi-Hiro This is the apocryphal brilliant little sushi bar that only real Japanese food sleuths manage to track down. Service can be abrupt, and the place has a slightly municipal feel, but these are our only gripes. Nigiri sets go beyond the usual salmon and tuna standards; the chef puts together a selection of what’s best on the day: sea bass, scallop and organic salmon, perhaps. À la carte sushi is pricier, but the selection, including many off-thebeaten-track offerings, is excellent. Hand-rolled maki, such as squid and shiso or eel and cucumber, are imaginative. To drink, there’s green tea, Japanese beer or saké, the latter served in hefty measures. When to go When you have an emperor’s craving for sushi, but a
This is London’s prime ambassador for Ethiopian food. The setting’s a bit peculiar (a room above an Ethiopian community centre), but chef-owner Sophie Sirak-Kebede manages to recreate east African home cooking, and reflect the diversity of dishes from her home country. When to go Whenever you need to expand your culinary horizons. What to have The set meals, served on huge edible platters of injera bread. Tobia, first floor, Ethiopian Community Centre, 2a Lithos Rd, NW3 6EF (www.tobiarestaurant. co.uk) Finchley Rd tube
Most romantic
5 Reasons to love the cinema in 2008 1. Pure, unadultrated nostalgia Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull It’s taken 19 years but there’s nothing like knowing that one of cinema’s most loved icons is returning to the big screen. (Release date: May 22) Also see: Anyone familiar with the classic animated series should check out this long overdue live-action version of Speed Racer. (May 9)
2. Laugh-out-loud comedy Son of Rambow Two schoolboys are inspired by a pirated videotape of Rambo: First Blood to make their own action adventure film. (March 28) Also see: Steve Carrell as bungling secret agent Maxwell Smart on a mission to battle the forces of evil organisation KAOS in this remake of the classic 60s series Get Smart. (August 15)
3. Because the kids provide a great excuse to Kung Fu Panda Jack Black is Po, a kung fu mad panda who’s both the laziest animal in China and “Chosen One” in DreamWorks’ latest. (June 6) Also see: The Pevensie siblings pulled back into the land of Narnia in the sequel to The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, where a thousand years have passed and an evil king has taken charge. (June 27)
4. ‘Only in the movies’ type action
Club Gascon Executive chef and co-owner Pascal Aussignac hails from south-west France and routinely offers at least eight dishes based on either duck or goose foie gras – everything from terrines to salads. The foie gras popcorn, for which freshly popped corn is grated over the dish at table, is a perennial favourite. Once you’ve selected your guilty pleasure, choose another two or three from menu sections including vegetables, seafood and meats, and share them tapas-style – though the intricately chic presentation of each item can make this difficult. Combinations can be challenging too (think sea urchin degustation with swede pulp and glazed turnips) but the result is usually dazzling. It’s a good choice for a romantic splurge, though the location draws a top-end business crowd. When to go Saturday night, when the expense-account diners are all away. What to have Three (four if you’re feasting) starter-sized dishes, plus the fabulous bread, cheese and dessert. Club Gascon, 57 West Smithfield, EC1A 9DS (www.clubgascon.com) Farringdon tube/rail. source: TimeOut London
Bond 22: Quantum of Solace The sequel to 2006’s series reboot, Casino Royale, sees Bond battle Dominic Greene, of a cover organisation called Green Planet, who intends to stage a coup d’état in a Latin American country. Bond also has a vested interest; he’s seeking revenge for Greene’s involvement in the death of Vesper Lynd. (November 7) Also see: Wanted, in which an apathetic nobody is transformed into an unparalleled enforcer of justice. With far-out action sequences – ‘bending’ a bullet’s flightpath – this is certain to be one of the top action movies of 2008. (June 20)
5. Pure Blockbusting fun Iron Man Billionaire industrialist and genius inventor Tony Stark is kidnapped and forced to build a diabolical weapon, but instead uses his intelligence to construct an indestructible suit of armour. (May 2) Also see: The Dark Knight The follow-up to the 2005 franchise reboot, Batman Begins, sees the Caped Crusader take on his most iconic foe, The Joker (Heath Ledger in his final role). (July 25)
Recommended Reading When Linvoy Primus moved to struggling Portsmouth, he had been playing out his career in the lower leagues, struggling all the time with a crippling lack of self belief. His and his family’s fortunes were to change when Primus accepted an invitation to a local church, and in his book he draws parallels between Portsmouth’s triumphant ascent to the top level of the English game and the personal transformation in his life and performances, as his faith in God strengthened.
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GLOBAL VILLAGE | BUDAPEST
Budapest Where the old world meets the new
Allow yourself to be enchanted by a city that combines opportunities for relaxation with appreciation of art and history.
K
nown as the Paris of Central Europe and for good reason - Budapest, during its warmer months, is astonishingly green, breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly romantic. In addition, it manages to be both cosmopolitan and yet rather quaint, with its winding streets and diverse architecture. Given the city’s picturesque landscape, which straddles the banks of the Danube River, combined with its rich cultural history, which dates back to Roman and Mongol times, it’s easy to see why Budapest has recently become one of the most popular tourist destinations in Europe. In fact, Budapest is actually two cities in one: Buda, situated in the west, is more rolling, hilly and residential; while Pest, in the east, is more dense, urban and commercial. There’s much to visit in both parts of the city and you won’t be short of ways to fill up your time while you’re here. Art, a hefty dose of history and plenty of restaurants, bars and stores await you in Hungary’s capital. If you’re only planning on being in Budapest for a few days, keep reading to discover how to make the most of your short stay in this charming city.
Transportation and accommodation To go from Ferihegy International Airport to your accommodation, your cheapest options are to take the metro (if you arrive in Budapest during the day), or a minibus (if you get in late at night). Hop on Bus 200 to Kobanya-Kispest metro station and go from there for 230 Forints (Ft) if you buy 60 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 60 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
your ticket in advance (or 260 Ft if you purchase your ticket from the bus driver). If your trip is a super-budget one you’re in luck, since travelling in Central Europe, including Hungary, is still considerably cheaper than most places in Western Europe. Try the Marco Polo Hostel for spotlessly clean dorms or private rooms in a rather central location in Pest. Online bookings can be made at this hostel, but have cash ready when you arrive, since you’ll have to pay a deposit for your room and key. Steer clear of ordering taxis from here, however, since the hostel will only recommend taxi services with which they are associated. Internet is also available at Marco Polo, though faster and cheaper services can be found down the street. Breakfast is included in the price of your stay, so this hostel is a fantastic option for those wishing to see Budapest on a shoestring. If you have a bit more cash and you’d like some more stylish digs, try Artotel, a chic hotel of Baroque houses with a glass front, highly professional staff and a private collection of the works of artist Donald Sultan. At the terrace bar, you can order snacks and drinks, while the restaurant offers Magyar-influenced international cuisine. For fantastic views and an experience you won’t forget, ask for a room with a view of the river.
a tour of Castle Hill. Though you could get the metro or a bus, walking is the best and most enjoyable way to discover all the intriguing nooks and crannies of Castle Hill’s network of medieval streets. Make your way from one side of the district to the other and aim to end your trek at the Royal Palace. Museums of interest in the area include the Hungarian Museum of Commerce and Catering, with its 19th-century pastry shop, and the Military History Museum, with its vast collection of weapons. Other sites of interest on Castle Hill are Uri Utca Street, which features interesting courtyards, old monasteries and the entrance to the Buda Castle Labyrinth at No. 9. Not to be missed in the Castle Hill district are Matthias Church and the Fisherman’s Bastion. Parts of Matthias Church - named after King Matthias Corvinus, who was married there in the 15th century - are 500 years old. Though the Fisherman’s Bastion is a mere 100 years old, it looks much older due to its medieval style, and it offers without a doubt the best views of Budapest. Weather permitting, the Fisherman’s Bastion area is a great place for a picnic-style lunch with a phenomenal view, so bring along a sandwich and a small bottle of wine or beer and plan a leisurely noshing session in these impressive surroundings.
Explore medieval Hungary
Artsy relaxation Budapest style
As an alternative to eating breakfast at your hotel or hostel, try the Muvesz, located practically opposite the gorgeous Opera House, for coffee, cakes and excellent people-watching. Then begin your journey through Hungary’s fascinating capital with
Budapest is famed for its thermal waters and has some of the best spas in Europe. The Gellert Bathhouse is relaxing and gorgeous, and you can soak yourself for several hours in the reviving waters of the indoor and outdoor baths, and unwind
GLOBAL VILLAGE | BUDAPEST
in the luxurious Art Nouveau surroundings for only 3100 Ft. Other spa services, including body and foot massages, are also available. Be sure to get a bit of sun while you’re at it by letting yourself drip-dry on the outdoor patio. You’ll emerge from your experience completely rejuvenated and ready for some more walking. Fuel up at Café New York, an institution in the city for over 100 years and a popular meeting spot among writers and artists in the early part of the 20th century. The interior is rather lavish, with gilded everything, but this place is definitely a must-see for tourists. From there, walk down Erzsebet korut until you reach Oktogon and Andrassy ut. Wander around Oktogon if you feel like soaking up the busy, commercial atmosphere of the numerous cafés in this area, then continue up Andrassy ut, an intriguing street with
many upscale facades that was deemed a World Heritage Site in 1987. At the end of the street, you’ll find Hosok tere (Heroes’ Square) with monuments that represent events honouring rebels from the 1956 Hungarian Revolution against the communist government. On one side of the square you’ll see the Museum of Fine Arts, and this site is worth a visit for its amazing collection of foreign art. If you’re a modern art buff, you might prefer to visit the Mucsarnok (the Palace of Art) which features changing exhibitions of modern art.
Embrace Budapest’s culture For chain stores like H&M, as well as designer boutiques, head straight to Vaci Utca and the surrounding streets in Pest. Despite the occasional tourist trap and the commercial factor, walking around in this area is quite pleasant. Be on the lookout for small local stores where you can pick up leather goods like shoes and belts, since these are often of decent quality, but much cheaper than back home. If it’s cold out, try the WestEnd City Centre - one of
MMQ Recommends
A boat ride south of the Greek mainland and the Athenian capital, Crete is an island paradise that combines Hellenic hospitality with mythology, Mediterranean cuisine, and endless sandy beaches. Boasting a rugged landscape that complements its beaches, with snow-capped mountains, fertile valleys and deep ravines, Crete is a land of fresh fish, olive groves and ocean vistas. Enjoy the fineness of the sand, and marvel at the marine life found in its turquoise water. Whatever, you choose to do, enjoy this land of relaxation and wonder, where all you need is a bathing suit to escape into its vast surprises.
Central Europe’s largest shopping malls, which is accessible by metro - to get your contemporary fashion fix. If the weather is decent, visit La Vallie to pick up stylish, high-quality gold and silver cuff links and business card cases at much lower prices than you’d find at home. While you’re in the area, go to La Boutique des Vins to pick up some Hungarian wine to savour as a souvenir of your trip once you’re home. Check out Vasarcsarmok, the Great Market, close to the Freedom Bridge and originally opened by the Emperor Franz Joseph in 1897, for country-style foodstuffs and delights, such as horse meat for the more adventurous palate. You’ll likely have to take the metro, but if you can squeeze it in, do visit Ecseri Piac, a flea market, packed with Soviet relics and other treasured finds, where haggling is encouraged. After a hard day of shopping, relax in one of Budapest’s many vast parks. Margit Sziget (Margaret Island) is a great place to rent a bike, go swimming or just hang out. The island is in the middle of the Danube and is not considered to be in either Buda or in Pest. Used as a religious centre in the 13th century, ruins of the Dominican convent still remain on the island. For a delicious dinner, Morio Borozo is a short walk off the island, and offers extremely affordable and delicious Hungarian food and a competent selection of wines.
Get to know the real Budapest Old world meets new world is really Budapest’s formula, and it seems to be one that works. A bustling city atmosphere combined with plenty of opportunities for relaxation and appreciation of art and history, Budapest is a truly enchanting city that you’ll definitely want to visit more than once.
European Stopovers
The Swedish capital of Stockholm is often referred to as the Venice of the North, and with good reason; this unofficial Capital of Scandinavia is comprised of 14 beautiful islands and a labyrinth of magnificent waterways so clean and pure that you could safely drink straight from nature’s tap. One of the most culturally and architecturally rich cities in the world, Stockholm is also home to some of the friendliest people you could ever hope to meet. If your thing is Viking history or live jazz, or you simply want to take in the city’s 500-year-old architecture (it is one the few cities in Europe that still boasts much of its original architecture), then Stockholm has something for you; even nice beaches, though swimming is only recommended when it’s warm.
Drenched in history, Prague is a picturesque mix of architecture, cultural centres, winding cobbled lanes, and old-fashioned town squares well-preserved since the city escaped unscathed from World War II. It is a captivating city with delights around every corner. In addition to a fascinating heritage, Prague also has an abundance of art galleries, plenty of opportunities to indulge in fine dining and a bustling nightlife. Although overrun with tourists at any time of the year, Prague is especially busy in the summer, so plan a bit in advance if you intend to visit during the summer months or you may find everything booked up. Fortunately, prices in Prague are likely to be cheaper than what you’d pay back home; a fact that practically guarantees you a trip you won’t forget.
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LIFE CHANGING MOMENTS | MUYIWA
MUYIWA
SINGER, SONGWRITER
St Lucia, December 1996 I remember the last thing my father said to me. I was barely 10 years old and my parents were sending me back to London. He told me not to forget whose son I was and reminded me of the words of Psalm 27. Almost 20 years later I was on holiday in St Lucia with a friend of mine, Eddie, and I had made up my mind to see my dad without fail (I hadn’t seen him again since he sent me on that journey those many years before). It was strange. Five days before I should have left for Nigeria, I received news that he had been assassinated. The last thing he did was to write me a letter. That day was a one of great emptiness even though God was there to hold me together.
Sony Music, December 1996 I had not long finished my music degree when I had to go to Nigeria for my father’s funeral. While I was there I remember going to an all-night prayer meeting where the preacher asked us to write down 3 things we would like God to do in the year we were going into. That same week I got a call from Sony asking if I wanted to work 62 OUTFLOW OCTOBER 2007 62 MANDATE MEN’S QUARTERLY SPRING 2008
for them. I jumped at it; this was one of my three things. I went on to work with the likes of Aerosmith, Lauryn Hill, Wyclef Jean, Bob Dylan, David Ryan Harris, and Mariah Carey. This was my introduction to the world of entertainment & media.
The Birth of Riversongz, January 2003 Eddie and I studied music at the same university and he is now a record producer. We were in church one day and popped out to talk. He suggested we escape from the hustle of the music industry to offer our gifts to God in a live praise and worship project. We got together and put together 4 albums. We got musician friends who were also in the industry together and Restoration was recorded (The third of the four albums is ‘Declaring His Love’ and is due for release in March 2008). As a result of the album I ended up in Premier Radio. The rest as they say is history.
Lufthansa Airlines, December 2006 I had been working on a proposal for
an airline to provide them with a music programme. We had worked on it for eighteen months but it just wasn’t working out. Almost a year later I got a call asking me if I wanted to do some work for Lufthansa, an airline that carries an average of 56 million people a year. The incredible thing was that I hadn’t had any contact with the airline but somehow they had heard about my work. As a result of this opportunity I became the first black Christian radio presenter from the UK to have his own show on a major airline.
December 2007 My wife Lola gave birth to our son Oluwaloni (meaning ‘this one belongs to God’) and it was an experience. I have to confess that at the hospital I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to go through all that more than once! It’s been a joy having him in our home; he is such a gentle child and every time I think of him the scripture ‘The meek will inherit the earth’ comes to mind. Declaring His Love, the new Riversongz album, is due out in March.
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