Finland, paradise of crazy summer events

photo: eukonkanto.fi Competitors in the water obstacle at Wife Carrying World Championships in Sonkajärvi, 2019.

Written by roope Lipasti transLated by oWen F. Witesman

Finland’s short summer gets people so amped up that every year we see dozens of world championships, each more outlandish than the last. The clear favorite in this panoply of sporting mayhem is the throwing of various objects as far as one possibly can. Previous years’ lob-fests have included mouse pads, keyboards, mobile phones, and toilet paper tubes. The mosquito killing race was also legendary, but it had to be put down after some animal rights activists came out against it.

Welcome to Finland’s Nonsensical Summer!

Up to 300 teams compete for the World Cup title—although unfortunately foreign groups enter now as well, so Finland winning isn’t a foregone conclusion anymore. www.suopotkupallo.fi

Heavy Metal Knitting (July)

The idea is to knit with real knitting needles but to the beat of heavy metal music. Attitude decides the winner. The competition is held in Joensuu, in North Karelia. Last time, a Japanese knitting team won. www.heavymetalknitting.com

Wife Carrying (1-2 July)

The Wife Carrying World Championships are held every year in Sonkajärvi. The track is 253.5 meters, and along the way there is one water obstacle about a meter deep, as well as two dry obstacles. The wife being carried can be one’s own or on loan, but she must be more than seventeen years old and weigh at least forty-nine kilograms. To enter, just arrive an hour before the competition starts. www.eukonkanto.fi

Scythe Harvesting World Championships (August)

Every summer in Liminganlahti, near Oulu, athletes line up to compete at mowing grass with a scythe. This traditional event requires speed, technique, and quality of the end result. The men’s division mows one hundred square meters, while the women’s division is limited to one half that area. www.liminka.fi

Swamp Soccer (15-16 July)

Relatively speaking, Finland is the swampiest country in the world, and Finland is also always crap at football, so no wonder we invented a version of the sport where we can almost hold our own. This is swamp soccer, where you play. . . in a swamp—in Hyrynsalmi in the Kainuu region. Summer Ice Fishing

Finland is a nation of ice fishermen. The problem with this activity is that the ice is all gone by June at the latest. But not to worry! Every year Pudasjärvi, in Northern Ostrobothnia, hosts a summer ice fishing event in which competitors take a sheet of Styrofoam, carve a hole in it, and fish through that. www.pudu.fi/pilikkiviikko

Sauna Whisk Throw (Midsummer)

A sauna whisk is a bundle of (usually) birch twigs with the leaves on, which Finns use to beat themselves in the sauna. So why not also use a sauna whisk as sports equipment? The Sauna Whisk Throwing World Championships in Urjala in the Pirkanmaa region are a Midsummer event. Whisks can be purchased at the event, so you don’t have to bring your own. www.facebook.com/vihdanheitonmm

Beer Floating

This isn’t actually a competition, but may be one of the most unique summer events in Finland. Beer Floating is a day-long, unofficial event held in the Helsinki region, where a random number of participants float on all sorts of rafts and inflatable rings, swilling beer as they float on the Keravanjoki or Vantaanjoki rivers. The Beer Float is on the last weekend in July or the first weekend in August, depending on the vibe. www.kaljakellunta.org s