Making the Shiff by Angeli Marie Shaw.

HOW TO TACKLE THE YEAR AHEAD BY NOT JUST SURVIVING BUT THRIVING!

You made it! 2021 is done and dusted and 2022 is here! But what now? And how do you tackle another 12 months when uncertainty and constant change has been the ongoing theme for the last 2 years?

There’s still a lot of uncertainty in the air and dealing with these uncertainties can cause a level of stress and anxiety; more for some than others. When it comes to change, we aren’t always able to control the outcome, but we can certainly control how we respond to it. That there is called resilience and we all have it! But again, how do we deal with uncertainty?

First off, let it go! The reality is we can’t control everything. Focus on envisioning the best. Afterall, trying to spare ourselves disappointment by thinking how things could go wrong isn’t helping you. In fact, recent research in cognitive behavioural therapy shows that people tend to overestimate the risks and negative consequences that may result from a situation, but this leads to anxiety or even worse, sets us up for failure. Instead, try imagining the best possible scenario, you’ll feel calmer and clearer and help with decision making and boost your odds of success. Spend some time on reflection and remember, you’ve faced uncertainty before. The fact that you’re here now shows that you are strong enough to make it through. Take the time to reflect on what helped you before, even write it down, it will be handy to read back when your worrisome thoughts begin to kick in. Avoid avoidance. A little uncertainty can be healthy, it activates our fight or flight mode, but when it makes us too anxious it can have the opposite affect and be quite paralysing. Remind yourself that dealing with uncertainty is hard, but there are consequences for not facing it head on. Recognise that there is only so much you can do right now, and that makes you human, not powerless! The way you treat yourself is in your control, so be kind, and immerse yourself in some of my suggestions as a starting point.

1. Mental first aid – think of this as a way to soothe your mind. Just like a first aid kit for physical ailments, we can also create a first aid kit for our mental health, especially when feeling bruised and battered by life. This kit can be more personalised to your individual needs and can include a variety of things, but what’s important is that this kit provides you with what you need, when you need it. So what are some things that you can include in this kit of yours?

Let’s start with your smartphone. An advantage of using your smartphone as part of your kit is that it’s the one item that you’re most likely to have with you all the time. Create a folder with various apps, but make sure these apps focus on your mental state and ways you can improve it and give yourself a boost when needed. Insight timer is a great one to access meditations, providing an array of subjects as well as choosing a timeframe, so no excuse to not be able to fit some me time in. Headspace is another simple but effective meditation app, and will teach you the life-changing skills of meditation and mindfulness in just a few minutes a day. If meditation isn’t your thing, then try creating a playlist of songs that uplift and inspire you, and make you feel energised. It doesn’t matter what your selection is; this playlist is only for you. Or perhaps it’s about time to go through your photos and create an album of images, quotes and people that bring you joy. Visualisation is a powerful tool so why not use some of your most loved images to give yourself a boost.

Do you have a notebook and pen handy? If not go out and purchase them and keep them close by so they can be accessed when needed. Extracting whatever is going on in your mind and putting it on paper is a great way to release what may be consuming you or weighing your mind down, but also a great way to jot down ideas when feeling inspired. It could be a todo list, or perhaps you’re having an internal argument with yourself, whatever thought it may be, writing them down can help release the burden and lighten the mental load. Don’t forget to focus on the good things around you and write these down also. It enables your brain to think of the positives, rather than the negatives, and can actually give your brain a break from the stress.

Essential oils and fragrance can be underestimated when it comes to our mental health but are another great tool to have in that kit. In fact, scent can prove to be a speedy solution because when you inhale a scent it goes straight to your limbic system, which affects your emotion and memory. Have you noticed that sometimes all it takes is a pleasant aroma to instantly change your mood and bring back a fond memory? Try it! (Lynx Africa, oh those high school memories!)

There are so many items to choose from but again, choose what resonates with you.

2. Create stability using effective habits. You may be thinking ‘what makes an effective habit?’ but one thing I can tell you that doesn’t work is rigidity. Let me explain. For those of us that may attend the gym, we may choose to attend gym at the same time each day, forming what we consider a healthy habit. Whilst yes, it’s obvious that going to the gym is in fact a healthy habit, what happens when our routine is disrupted? Perhaps you’ve been caught up at work, or maybe copped a flat tyre on your way. These inconveniences or change in plans are more times than not enough to throw our routine out, resulting in missing that gym class altogether. Now you may be wondering ‘what is the point to this?’ and the point I’m trying to make is if we want to form effective habits that stick, we need to learn how to roll with the punches. Yes, forming stable routines is key to habit formation, but if we really want to form the strongest of habits, learning to roll with the punches teaches us to be flexible when life throws us a curveball. In fact, I’d go as far to say that too much rigidity is the enemy of a good habit! Something for you to ponder…

3. Review your ethics. Think of ethics as the principles that guide our behaviour toward making the best choices and contribute to the common good of all. Ethics are what guide us to tell the truth, help someone in need and keep our promises. When encouraging you to review your ethics, this doesn’t imply that you may have ‘poor’ or ‘bad’ ethics, after all, social psychology research (Stout,2005) shows that only about 4% of the population could be considered ‘bad’, that is, habitually acting in an amoral and antisocial way. A low percentage of the population, yes, however ‘good’ people can still do ‘bad’ things and this is where reviewing your ethics come into play. A good starting point is intention. What exactly are you trying to create from a moral perspective? Sometimes we can be blinded to the ethical aspect of an issue by unconsciously pattern-matching against something in the past, instead of assessing all the facts in that moment. Ask yourself ‘how does this support my values and principles?’ or ‘is this in the best interests of all concerned?’. Now more than ever, is the time to reconnect with our values, understand the flawed nature of being human and build community. Remember that a rising tide floats all boats!

So, are you ready to shift? Do you hold that strong desire to not just survive 2022 but thrive? Whilst we often look to others for answers on how to thrive in life, sometimes we just need space to find them ourselves. These shifts don’t need to be wild and dramatic, and sometimes change can happen suddenly, with the inevitable curveballs that life throws at us, but wild and dramatic shifts just aren’t sustainable, and the actions we need to take for these kinds of changes can be overwhelming. Focus on pursuing sustainable and consistent growth, both personal and professional and go within. Something that we don’t realise is that we’re hardwired to believe that someone else knows how to live our lives better than we do. This isn’t the case, however what they can provide us with is experience and advice, but ultimately, we have the answers, we have just forgotten. Step up, keep going and make space to find those answers, one action, one shift at a time. It’s time to thrive! I believe in you.

Love & Bliss, Angeli xxoo

Angeli is a Holistic Empowerment Coach, Mindset Mentor and founder of The Bliss Coach. To work with me in 2022, get in touch by visiting www.theblisscoach.com.au or follow us on our socials @theblisscoach to find out more.