Let’s Talk About Sex (Toys

Lets Talk About Sex (Toys)!

A GUIDE TO SPICING UP YOUR SEX LIFE.

By Maya Greenberg, Contributing Writer Illustrated by Riley August

The mention of the phrase “sex toys” is enough for the blood to rush to plenty of women’s cheeks. We keep our cute pink dildos in the very back of our drawers, hidden behind all of our undies because we are embarrassed to own them.

But it’s time to own the fact that women want and deserve to feel sexually-fulfilled on their own terms. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, sex toys allow you to become more in touch with you body. You can learn to be more demanding of your pleasure! For the single ladies, or the taken ladies with some alone time, using sex toys can be a great opportunity to learn about your body, without the pressure of having a partner present.1 Everyone has different tastes, and exploring with sex toys may help you realize that you have a sweet spot for a new sweet spot. If you are intimate with someone, don’t feel like you have to drop the toys. Talking to your partner about incorporating toys into your sex life can enhance communication and confidence. This conversation may be uncomfortable, but a study conducted by the Gottman Institute found that “only 9% of couples who don’t talk about sex reported having satisfying sex lives.”2 There is no right or wrong time to bring this up, so just sit down with your partner when you feel comfortable, and initiate an open conversation. So, where do you start? The whole point of using sex toys is to increase pleasure, so figure out what you want, and equally as important, what you don’t want. Purchasing sex toys is not about trying to push you out of your comfort zone, but rather exploring your comfort zone in the best way possible.

1 Polk, Jazmine. “The 8 Best Sex Toys to Use When You’re Masturbating.” Health, May 28, 2019. 2 Benoit, Sophia. “How to Incorporate Sex Toys and Lube Into Your Sex Life”. GQ, March 13, 2020. You don’t have to dive into anything crazy, or crazy expensive, right off the bat. Lovehoney has a huge variety of basic toys for any budget, including plenty of options that are under 30$. For students, they even offer a 20% discount.3

If you do want to dive into something that’s more erotic, that’s great too! Adam and Eve has just about every toy for every fantasy. They offer different toys for individuals and for couples, sex guides and how-to’s for their products and discreet shipping, so your roommates and families won’t know what you ordered. RodeoH is another great shop that is queer and trans-friendly.4 They offer their products in all different sizes, and most of their dildos are made so that they can be used in a harness as well. If you are shopping online, this is a great site that caters to a range of sexual interests.

While these websites may be overwhelming at first, buying sex toys just comes down to preference. What size you want, what shape you want and what type of stimulation you want. 70% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, so vibrators are always a good place to start your search.5 It’s time that we stop hiding our sex toys in the back of our drawers and in the back of our minds. With over 50% of women having used or owned a vibrator, toys are no longer a taboo.6 And female sexuality isn’t a taboo either.

Take this as a sign to start looking into sex toys, and start demanding your pleasure. ■

3 Gilmour, Paisley. “Sex Toys for Beginners-13 of the best beginners sex toys”. Cosmopolitan, December 2, 2020. 4 Hendrickson, Harper. “15 Of The Best Places To Buy Sex Toys Online.” BuzzFeed, January 6, 2021. 5 Divine, Jo. “How to chose your first sex toy.” Jo Divine, May 31, 2017. 6 Ibid.