Other Love Stories

AN EXPLORATION OF THE ROMANTICIZATION OF YOUTH AND FRIENDSHIP IN COMING-OF-AGE MOVIES.

Written by Abigail Crneckiy, Contributing Writer Illustrated by Emma Gray, Assistant Arts Curator

When you hear the word “romance,” you probably imagine a stereotypical, dramatized love story based on a Nicholas Sparks book. Don’t get me wrong: I love a good, cheesy romance. But what about narratives that are bigger than boy-meets-girl? What about the romanticization of growing up? Of following your passions? Of friendship? These themes shape our lives, yet so few movies explore these other romantic experiences. However, there are some films that take an unconventional approach to exploring love in all its forms. These themes of childhood, passion and friendship are embodied in four wonderful, coming-of-age movies which give us a look into the great loves we experience everyday.

A classic coming-of-age, this film follows the life of Charlie, a shy freshman battling loneliness and depression in the aftermath of his best friend’s suicide. Charlie manages to find a place in high school after he befriends two eccentric seniors, Sam and Patrick. Though these two pull Charlie out of his shell, his mental health fluxuates as he deals with past traumas. This story also explores Charlie’s endearing and complicated love for his friend, Sam, and the taxing effects of sexual assault on relationships.

Steven Chbosky, author of the novel and director of the film, does a great job rejecting classic stereotypes in this story. Notably, he separates Charlie’s growth from his shyness, abandoning the romanticization of extroversion. The film also rejects traditional romance lines, instead developing the love between the group of friends. Throughout the film, we see many dysfunctional and failed relationships due to abuse, disdain, and homophobia, but the characters are able to recognize and move past these things due to the support of their friends. Furthermore, this story does away with the glorification of sexual “firsts.” Often, teen movies portray characters who long for their “first time” to be special, but “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” proves that this doesn’t have to be the case. Charlie’s experiences show us that growing up is hard, and no one has the perfect story, but having the right people around us makes all the difference.

GOOD WILL HUNTING (1997)

This story lets us into the life of Will Hunting, a genius 20-yearold boy whose troubled life has kept him from pursuing a proper education. While working as a janitor at M.I.T., he solves an advanced math problem and attracts the attention of Professor Lambeau. Lambeau recognizes that Will’s intellect is going to waste and decides to take him under his wing. After Will gets into some trouble, Lambeau ushers him into therapy to rectify his past. In time, the begrudging Will becomes more comfortable with his therapist, Sean, and develops a relationship with a Harvard student, Skylar. But the fate of his new relationships suffer as he struggles to reconcile his troubled past with a better future.

This story features a major conflict between the pressure of finding “success” and pursuing what you care about. In “Good Will Hunting,” Lambeau puts immense pressure on his students to be successful and romanticizes intellectual and material accomplishments. However, this is met with backlash from Will and Sean as they are less interested in being “important” and more interested in being happy. The film prioritizes following your passions, but doing so sensibly. It shows the importance of opening up to others and letting them help you. Sometimes we need that extra support to follow our passions, like Sean gives to Will, so we can reach our greatest potential.

MOONRISE KINGDOM (2012)

Set in the 1960s, this film features a pair of young lovebirds who run off together in search of independence and belonging. Sam Shakusky, an orphan, is unwanted by his foster parents and disliked by his fellow Khaki Scouts, while Suzy Bishop is the product of a dysfunctional marriage and has no friends. Both labelled by society as “disturbed,” they learn to find understanding and acceptance in each other. This prompts an epic love tale of two children forced to play grown up, reading to each other, listening to music, and even sharing their first kiss.

Through Suzy and Sam’s adventure, director Wes Anderson pulls us back into our own childhood. We probably weren’t forced to flee across a mysterious island like Suzy and Sam, but I’m guessing that most of us longed for more agency and were sure our first love was our true love. It is this childlike naivete that inspires us to make something of ourselves. We romanticize our budding independence and whirlwinds of emotions, which sometimes leads to disaster — but at least we tried. Growing up is a learning experience full of successes and failures, and “Moonrise Kingdom” artfully exhibits the naive yet well-intentioned attempts we all make while growing up.

DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989)

This story opens at Welton, a traditional, all-boys preparatory school where a group of teenage boys are suffocating under high parental expectations. That is until Mr. Keating, the new English teacher, employs unorthodox methods to inspire the boys to engage in life in a more meaningful way. After Keating encourages them to “suck the marrow out of life” and pursue their passions, the boys covertly revive the Dead Poets Society, a club that Keating was involved in back when he was their age. Throughout the film, we see the boys growing in their boldness and rethinking their priorities, but not without pushback from people around them. In a heart wrenching turn of events, this narrative emphasizes the way social obligations and expectations may lead to our demise, and the importance of having confidence in our true selves.

“Dead Poets Society” brilliantly accentuates the significance of defying conformity and pursuing your own desires. Instead of solidifying the traditional path that their parents planned out for them, Keating shows the boys of the Dead Poets Society the romance and intrigue of a life filled with passion, and supports them in an emotional way. The film also exhibits the beauty of good friendship — specifically, strong male bonds that offer emotional support. These themes are primarily embodied in Todd, who starts out timid and stressed. But due to persistent encouragement from the others, Todd becomes a leader who stands up for those he cares about and defies the expectations that previously constrained him. In essence, “Dead Poets Society” teaches us the importance of falling in love with ourselves.

These four films shine light on powerful and beautiful aspects of our lives that typical romance movies miss. While watching these films, we are forced to consider what our priorities are, what has shaped us into who we are today, and who we could become tomorrow. These stories encourage us to love friends, family, and ourselves and our true passions as deeply as we would love a soulmate. ■