I Am My Worst Enemy

HOW TO TAKE POWER AWAY FROM NEGATIVE THINKING

Written and modeled by Tessa Devine, Lifestyle Staff Writer Photographed and illustrated by Anna Janke, Staff Photographer

As I’ve gotten older, my glass has become half empty. As a kid, I was doe-eyed with big hopes and dreams; I pursued theater and loved making videos on my iPhone. As I grew up, I was met with comparison, failure and rejection that discouraged me from these hobbies— negativity became a regular part of my life. Now, I find myself thinking about opportunities I was too afraid to pursue—things I gave up because I failed the first time.

Negativity and fear, beyond making us feel miserable, can hold us back. Negative thoughts can harm our physical health and potentially cause chronic stress, which disrupts the body’s hormone balance, exhausts brain chemicals associated with happiness and weaken the immune system.1

It’s easy to get stuck in a pattern of toxic thoughts. Negative thinking often becomes a sort of habit—and habits, especially deep-rooted ones, can be difficult to break. However, when it comes to harmful thought patterns, this habit is worth uprooting.

So, how can you tackle it? While positivity isn’t a linear process, these simple strategies have allowed me to break away from the harmful inclination for negative thinking in my daily life.

Identify (and challenge) negative thought patterns

A good starting point is to identify the problem. The more we start to pay at-

¹ Archelle Georgiou, “How Do Thoughts and Emotions Affect Health?” Taking Charge of Your Health & Wellbeing, accessed Feb. 2022. tention to our thoughts and self-talk, the more we recognize patterns.2 Negative thought patterns can take many forms, and recognizing the different types and patterns can be beneficial in stopping them.

• Personalizing - Taking things personally when they’re not meant to be or placing the blame on ourselves when something bad happens, even if it was out of our control.

• Filtering - Choosing to focus on the “bad” parts of something and ignoring the “good” parts.

• Catastrophizing - Anticipating the worst without considering the possibility or more likely outcomes.

• Labeling - The tendency to overgeneralize. We may label ourselves as “bad at math” or “a jealous friend” in our heads … even if the label is unfair. It will start to affect how we feel about ourselves or our abilities.3

Once we’ve identified some of our patterns, we can start to move towards a more neutral and logical way of thinking.

Live in the moment

It’s easy to get stuck on negative thoughts. If you start to feel overwhelmed by thoughts and aren’t ready to process and challenge them, try some grounding techniques.

² Arlin Cuncic, “Negative Thoughts: How to Stop Them,” Verywell Mind, Oct. 26, 2021. ³ “Identifying Negative Automatic Thought Patterns,” Harvard University, accessed Feb. 2022. • The 54321 Senses Technique - Ask yourself these questions: What are five things you see? Four things you can touch? Three things you can hear? Two things you can smell? One thing you can taste? Take your time as you walk through these, be descriptive as you focus on small details of your environment.

• 5-7-8 Breathing - Breathe in for five seconds, hold it for seven seconds, and release your breath for eight seconds. Any breathing technique works great at calming your body.

Surround yourself with positive people My dad always used to say, “show me your three closest friends and I’ll tell you what person you’ll become.” Friends have a bigger impact on us than we might like to admit. Unconsciously, our brains pick up on cues from people around us, and this influences our behaviors.4 If we surround ourselves with people who vocalize a lot of negative self-talk or complain constantly, we might begin to fall into those habits as well. On the other hand, if we spend time around happy and positive people, their attitude will affect us positively.

If you notice your friends have some toxic habits, that doesn’t mean you have to cut them out immediately, but consider having a conversation about this with them or setting clear boundaries for yourself.

⁴ William Park, “How your friends change your habits - for better and worse,” BBC, Feb. 17, 2022.

Sometimes, the biggest thing holding us back is ourselves. Negative thought patterns can be destructive and keep us from reaching our fullest potential. The best way to combat this toxic cycle is to realize that we control our thoughts—not the other way around. It’s not a flaw to be pessimistic, many of us naturally are, but any small changes you can make in your life to move towards neutrality—or better yet positivity—will improve your overall quality of life.1

After reflecting on my negative thought patterns, I’ve realized how much it’s controlled me, and I want to break free from that. In the end I think I might audition for a play this spring after all. ■

⁵ Lena Firestone, “Thinking Positively: Why You Need to Wire Your Brain to Think Positive,” PsychAlive, accessed Feb. 2022.