BUILDING TRUST TO BUILD YOUR TEAM

Becoming a Catalyst for Building Trust Within Your Organization

BY RANDY ANDERSON

FEW THINGS IN LIFE ARE AS CRUCIAL AS TRUST. That’s a strong assertion but think about it and see if you wouldn’t agree. With trust, you can experience better relationships and pursue much larger goals and challenges than you can without it. When trust is absent, you not only feel somewhat lonely, but you often feel like you must “watch out” for people around you. Personally and professionally, trust is an essential ingredient in interpersonal relationships.

Is trust prevalent in your various teams in life? Do you generally trust your boss, your coworkers, your subordinates, and your customers? Do you usually trust your neighbors, your friends, and your children? That second question may seem strange, because you probably don’t worry about friends doing something to “wrong” you, but lack of trust isn’t limited to a concern about moral compromise. Do you trust others to be competent enough to do things correctly and committed enough to do them thoroughly? Or do you feel like you must constantly “remind” them what to do and how to do it? (By the way, to them, you’re nagging… not reminding.)

Whether you don’t really trust other people or feel like you’re not trusted as much as you deserve to be, a lack of trust can work to slow things down, add frustration to an already stressful world and life, and it can trigger many other counterproductive thoughts and actions. If you are a trusting person, and you do feel trusted, there is still the challenge of helping others to reach that point, so I want to give you some strategies for increasing the level of trust you give, receive, and cultivate in life.

Trust is built through three things: actions, interactions, and reactions. Whether you build or destroy trust will depend on how you navigate those three things. Here are some ideas for handling them more effectively.

Trust Is Built Through Our Actions

More than what we say, people often judge us by what we DO in life. We’ve all had the experience where someone SAYS one thing but DOES something different. A manager that promises an opportunity to be a part of a significant project or to move into a position of added responsibility, then never follows through, or gives a dozen reasons why it “didn’t work out”. Maybe it is a co-worker that offers to help you finish something, only to retract later because they didn’t complete their own work. Even more hurtful, a family member that commits to attending a special event or helping with a significant occasion, but as always, something comes up, and they’re not going to be able to make it…AGAIN. People watch, judge, and remember our ACTIONS much more than our PROMISES.

Trust is usually built over the course of a relationship, but it can be lost in a moment. You may have known and trusted someone for years, but all it takes is one significant event where they break a promise, betray a confidence, and take a liberty that goes beyond what you were prepared to extend, and it can all be gone, literally in a matter of minutes.

4 Suggestions Of Ways To Build Trust Though Your Actions

1. Be fully present and engaged – Eliminate distractions that keep you from giving people or tasks your full attention. That may mean turning your email off, putting your phone on do not disturb, moving from a high-traffic place to a quieter, more private place to have a conversation.

2. Demonstrate a willingness to work hard with people – whether you’re in a position of authority, a peer/equal, or are in a subordinate role, we trust people who we believe are “in the trenches with us”. We develop an appreciation and a trust for those that understand the battles we face and the frustrations we experience. Find a way to be a “whatever it takes” team member. Stay until the work is finished… not until you’re tired (or more often, tired of it). As people’s respect for you grows, so will their trust in you.

3. Keep commitments – Be a person of your word. The best way to destroy trust is to break promises. It seems elementary, but if you want people to trust you, then you must be trustworthy. Don’t overpromise. Do WHAT you say you’ll do, WHEN you say you’ll do it, and if you can’t, manage their expectations, and explain how you’re going to rectify your shortfall.

4. Make sure your scope of perspective is bigger than just your own agenda – If other people think you’re only interested in selfpreservation or self-promotion, they will always believe you have ulterior motives. Never lose sight of the fact that we are all together in this adventure called life. Don’t push people away by only focusing on yourself and your needs and/or desires.

Trust Is Built Through Our Interactions

How we communicate, whether verbally or non-verbally, sends messages to people that are processed consciously and subconsciously allowing them to form an opinion of us that is referred to as our reputation. Your reputation is built or reinforced constantly…but so is your character. While reputation is who or what other people believe you to be, character is who you know you really are.

When you interact with others, whether personally or professionally, it is vital that you practice being communicative. You must be willing to speak the truth, but you also need to be prepared to hear the truth. How well do you give and receive feedback? How would others rate you on the timeliness and clarity of communicating? Are you actively working to become a better listener? What grade would you give yourself on being compelling, persuasive, and memorable. While many of these questions seem to be more about communication than trust, much of the trust we develop is based on how well we communicate and relate to those around us.

When you’re interacting, make it a point to demonstrate genuine empathy. Try to understand other people’s challenges and frustrations. Respect the fact that everyone has certain things that make their job more difficult. Make sure you aren’t guilty of what frustrates you. And if you really want to build trust, live by the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they would have you do to them. That is harder than the Golden Rule which instructs us to treat others the way we want to be treated. They may not want you to treat them the way you want to be treated. Maybe they aren’t as direct or confrontational as you. Maybe they are very direct and prefer to confront things early, but you tend to avoid conflict. Treating others the way they want to be treated is the ultimate test of empathy, and we have the opportunity to do it multiple times each day.

Keep confidence if someone shares something private with you. Don’t damage trust by repeating something that the other person didn’t want to be made public. This is especially true in personal matters. Maybe they confided in you about their family, a career change they are considering, or some other challenge they are struggling with. If you betray that confidence, you can be sure it will permanently damage their trust in you.

Trust Is Built Through Our Reactions

While we would like for people to judge us and form opinions about us when we are at our best and circumstances are predictable and calm, the fact is, they often draw those conclusions when they see us in the midst of difficulties. How you react in a tough situation will go a long way in revealing your true, unguarded character.

When a problem arises, try to be responsive not reactive. In other words, measure your words and actions. Avoid coming back with an instinctive knee-jerk. Make sure you don’t push people away with harsh reactions. And don’t cultivate an “us and them” atmosphere or allow that to exist.

How would people describe your typical “response mechanism” when the unexpected and unpleasant erupts? Do you remain objective? Are you fair in your assessments? That to mean do you work to treat everyone equitably if not equally? Are you consistent in how you react so people generally know what to expect from you?

Building trust in the various parts of your life is one of, if not the most significant factor in developing personal influence. Doing the things put forth in this article will allow you to strengthen your relationships and deepen your impact. Take the time to do some honest self-assessment and self-reflection. What do you need to work on? How can you become someone that others trust and want to be close to? If you answer those questions honestly, and work purposefully to do what you know you need to, then you will grow your personal influence exponentially.

Randy Anderson, CSP, Independent Training Consultant, E3 Professional Trainers, LLC