the yellow summer: the summer i spent with eva
eva always told me that i was always talking. she was the first person in my life to tell me that i was always talking and i couldn’t understand. i had been shy and mostly rude and always thought of my secrets as treasure i could not share. and then eva comes and tells me that i am talking all the time. well eva did not talk at all.
radio cassette
the lamp stays outside of the mosquitto net
sky above the swimming pool desire to mimic with a whte column
breakheartfast
when we met she was wearing jeans and a long dress and i thought this girl is strange but i like her. it was the fist day of class in painting in the fine art degree. this was her third start of a dergee and my second one. she is a dancer, i am a photographer. in painting we had to present a project about a color. she decided to do yellow, because eva is color yellow. in spanish, when you get too high you get what you call ‘an amarillo’ or a yellow. so she did her project about this, and i decided we would become friends. we did. and then she said i talked a lot. from eva, and i will always say this, i learned how to remain silent. not because i talked to much, because she did not. and i started appreciating silence, a silence that made me feel awkward at first. but as said, i had already decided we were going to become friends, and so i was going to put up with what necessary. so i learned silence. that summer i was going to spend a few weeks with her in her dad’s harvest-house, lost somehwere in Alicante, where i had never been. a few other friends were coming and we were planning on doing a mural painting of her dog, Monty, who had passed away some time ago.
the ratio of a palm tree
the sneaky towel
before going to her house on the 1st of august, my mom picked up the phone with the worse news. clara, my sister’s best friend from childhood had committed suicide the day before. so i ended up staying at eva’s house the entire summer. this was going to be my shelter.
the day of my birthday i was supposed to be back in Madrid, and I did go back but then regretted the decision. on my birthday the funeral was taking place. eva took me to the center of Alicante, bought me a dress and got herself a new one too. we left our stuff in the car and went for a walk and ended up in the tallest swing i have ever been. we did not talk for a while, we were just there. eva took her camera that day, i didn’t. all the pictures of her camera were lost so here are the only memories i have that remain of that entire month. my feelings are so mixed from that summer.
photographing eva the ratio of a building
constellations in Alicante
kids army against bubbles and the irony of the human life
two bad frames
the shelter
i lost friends, a life and my sister’s innocence. but somehow i cannot achieve to remember that summer as a horrible summer
the invisible towel
my blurry sky sometimes
the disaster mural
a car i nearly crushed (and eva too)
my art history teacher used to say that only in summer we are really ourselves. only in summer we are true. this summer was so true it cut you in the face. but the light was beautiful and i can only show you the home that i found.
black and white summary of a feeling