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When the Doc Said No by Keith Guernsey
When the Doc Said No...
by Keith D. Guernsey
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Susan and I walked into the house on a balmy Saturday after a wonderful block party over at the clubhouse and then disaster struck. After a couple of adult beverages (no really ...I only had two!), I ran smack dab into a chair with a very sharp wooden leg. It began bleeding and I rushed to the bathroom so as not to get any more blood on our new carpet. I told Susan that I was just going to put a Band-Aid on my foot and go to bed. Her response was, "look down at that pool of blood on the floor and say that again." Her caregiver instincts took over and she sprang into action. She wrapped my foot in an old towel, taped it in place and said get dressed we are going to the hospital (we were very fortunate that the very best hospital in the state of Georgia was only four miles away.). I threw on my sweatshirt, a hat and off we went. She helped me to the car and we drove to the ER in record time. We walked in (well she walked-I hobbled) to an almost empty emergency room. She sat me down and filled out the requisite paperwork.
Just then the attending physician rounded the corner and took the clipboard from her. As he looked at it a crowd of half dozen nurses and staff crowded around him ready to help this klutzy old codger. He then said with an entirely straight face, "I'm sorry Mr. Guernsey but I can't treat you." He paused long enough that I started to consider my options. Am in the wrong place? Should I ask for another doctor? Should I go to another ER? Just then a Cheshire cat grin broke out across his face. The entire staff behind him broke out in hysterics. He said you are a New England Patriots fan and we don't treat them here. In my haste to get dressed, I had didn’t realize I had thrown on my Super Bowl championship sweatshirt and that the timing couldn’t have been worse as it was right after the Pats beat the Falcons in SB LI. It was a particularly humiliating defeat for them since the Falcons had lost the biggest lead in Super Bowl history at home in their own stadium. I did my best to assure everyone that it was purely coincidental, and I wasn't trying to rub it in! (Ok well maybe just a little.) He proceeded to stitch me up and send me on my way. I'm sure it was just my imagination, but, it sure felt like he was digging the stitching needle just a little deeper as a measure of revenge. But in the end we shook hands and we parted as friendly rivals.
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Keith D. Guernsey is retired and living on Lake Lanier with his lovely wife Susan and Zoey, his four-footed daughter
thegurns2005@yahoo.com
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