Contributions by Hannah Howe Psychologist (psy-chol-o-gist) noun: A woman who watches everyone else when a handsome man walks into the room.
A client said to me, “My wife thinks I’m crazy because I like sausages.” “That isn’t a problem,” I said. “I like sausages too.”
A man walked into my psychologist’s office with a pancake on his head, a fried egg on each shoulder and a sausage behind each ear.
“Great,” the client smiled. “You should come and see my collection...”
“What’s the problem?” I asked. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.
“Well, it’s like this,” the man said, “I’m worried about my brother...”
A man walked into my psychologist’s office and said, “You’ve got to help me. I keep thinking I’m a goat.”
A woman sat down in my psychologist’s office and said, “You’ve got to help me - my husband thinks he’s a greyhound. He eats dog food, sleeps in a kennel and even chases hares.”
“I see,” I said. “How long have you had these delusions?” “Ever since I was a kid,” the man said.
“Don’t worry,” I said, “I can cure him, but it might cost you.” “Oh, your fee isn’t an issue,” said the woman, “he’s already won five races.”
Remember: therapy is expensive, but popping bubble-wrap is cheap. You choose. - 33 -
