Encouraging Confidence in Children Denise McCabe
As parents, it can be hard to watch your child in a situation where they are not feeling too good about themselves. Children tend to put themselves down a lot; they want to be able to do something exactly like others or they can sometimes get upset if someone is great in a certain discipline and they are not. Children can get frustrated easily, if they can’t get the hang of things straight away. They tend to think of the now moment and have no concept to look into the future. What can we do as parents to help our children feel happy and confident with themselves and guide them that it’s not about being perfect at everything? This is an important thing to have, as even adults tend to put themselves down with lack of self-confidence, thinking that they are not good enough and there’s no point in even attempting something. There are a few simple ways we can guide them, for example:
1| Questions - Let them make
decisions – like what we should have for dinner or what will we do today? Or get involved with a game they are playing and ask them to show you how to play.
2| Communicating – When you are
3| Patience – We all learn at our own
pace. Just because we don’t get the hang of it immediately and someone else does, that’s not a reflection on them. We have our own way of learning things; sometimes we need different ways of things to be explained or shown to us.
4| Interests – Spend more time with
them doing something they love. Even if you don’t like it and can find it boring (after twenty minutes of playing the part of Elsa or Cinderella I can go insane but my daughter loves acting and singing) but try to remember it’s not about you; it’s about giving them the time and showing you are interested too.
5| Lead by example – Adults can lack a lot of confidence in life situations also, but show them that you are willing to try at something and if you don’t succeed as well as you might have hoped, let them see it’s not that bad and just move on. Try to have a more carefree positive approach. Easier said than done at times but try not to let them see it.
shopping or having a bite to eat, let them go to the counter and buy something or let them order their own food. Ask them to get you more napkins cutlery etc. Talk to more people when you are out and be Failure – If they think they are friendly. Let them know its ok to talk to failing at something, ask how you can people, as long as a trusted adult is with help; take it slow and find out why they them and obviously they know the rights think they are getting it wrong. What’s and wrongs and the safety of talking to the main reason; sometimes it can be one strangers. little thing that makes the ‘aha moment’ - 32 -
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