The Modern Jewish Wedding by Monarch Media & Consulting, Inc.

Modern 5

REAL WEDDINGS SURE TO INSPIRE

Wisdom

WORDS OF FROM THE EXPERTS

Y ihud A WEDDING TRADITION UNVEILED :

2012

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OLAM

Wedding Canopies

Inspiring Traditions

These hand-sewn, personalized wedding canopies and chuppahs will be a keepsake after your wedding. Designs are all custom and can include family heirlooms, special mementos and symbols.

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Modern The idea of launching an e-magazine was exciting, overwhelming and completely daunting at times, but through the hard work and dedication of a great team we are happy to bring you the first annual The Modern Jewish Wedding e-magazine. Thank you for the hard work and long hours to launch this dream! EDITOR & FOUNDER Michele Schwartz The Modern Jewish Wedding CONCEPT & DESIGN Andrea Exter Monarch Media & Consulting, Inc. ADVERTISING SALES Chellie Thompson Monarch Media & Consulting, Inc. PUBLIC RELATIONS & MARKETING Anne Lasseigne Tiedt & Laura Bond Williams Momentum PR ASSISTANT EDITOR Julie Wickert True Story Communication CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Chris Easter The Man Registry INTERN Viviana Durand EDITORIAL PARTNERS A special thanks to Two Bright Lights, Amy Atlas, the photographers of the chosen weddings and Kate Anfinson as well as the couples and rabbis who are mentioned. Every effort has been made to ensure the accuracy of the information contained within these pages. The MJW cannot accept responsibility for inaccuracy or for errors in submission by organizations or individuals. Views of the authors are not necessarily the views of the editor or publisher. Copyright is reserved. Print or digital reproduction of any part of this publication is prohibited except by express approval from the MJW. Reproduction in part or whole without permission is strictly prohibited.

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

ontents

20 16

Yihud:

A tradition for you and your groom alone

14 { Columns } 8 Setting the Scene

Amy Atlas: Wise words for creating sweet memories

A Paris theme to remember

20 Steps to the Chuppah A planning checklist

{ Departments } 5 Editor’s Note 14 Tradition Unveiled: Yihud 16 Inspirations: Amy Atlas 18 Groom’s Guide 64 Aisle Trends (Cover Story) 68 Mitzvah Magic 2

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REAL

Weddings Inspiration for your conservative, reform, interfaith, orthodox or destination wedding

photos courtesy of Amy Atlas, Heartprint Photography, Danielle Aquiline Photography, Two Bright Lights, Susan Stripling, and Elizabeth Medina Photography

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

editor’s note B’Shalom! Welcome to The Modern Jewish Wedding, the magazine edition! It’s a wonderful feeling to start off the New Year (the Jewish one) with a new way to inspire you for your Jewish wedding or your wedding with Jewish touches. When I first started MJW, there weren’t any other wedding planning websites dedicated to help inspire Jewish and Jew-ish weddings. Although there are others now, MJW stands alone as the site created by a former professional Jewish educator who is also a professional event planner. “Those who can’t do, teach,” says Jennifer Lopez’s character in The Wedding Planner. That was me! Event planning since college, putting together literally hundreds of social events, Jewish weddings and Bar/Bat Mitzvah, I became a Certified Wedding Professional and the only Certified Life Cycle Event Professional in the U.S.. My first blog was titled, “Everything I Need to Know in Life I Learned from Sex and The City!” I considered myself the ultimate Jewish single gal. JDate, YAD, Matchmaker and Jewish Mothers—I tried them all to find the ultimate Jewish Prince Charming. Until January 1, 2008, when I tried this New Year’s resolution on for size, “No Dates in 2008!” Six months into concentrating on ME, my future husband asked me out. I polled all my friends before deciding if I should break my resolution and accept. Thirty minutes into the date, I was wondering if I was actually on one—it seemed more like an evening out with my best friend. Ultimately that is what Jesse became, my best friend. Planning my own wedding didn’t occur until I was staring 40 in the face. Yes, it was the most fun I’ve ever had. I enjoyed every single minute of finally fulfilling my own wedding dreams. And, I took the biggest advice which I give to every one of my readers, rant about on Facebook and basically tell everyone I know who is planning a life cycle event: “Hire a professional planner!”

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welcome My planner remains one of my biggest mentors and someone I consider a close friend. This first edition of The Modern Jewish Wedding magazine is dedicated to her, Amy Mader, of Platinum Weddings & Events. She not only helped me to have the most fun while finally planning my own wedding, but also continues to make me a better teacher and planner. Today, I pore over wedding pictures, admire the details, read about trends for invitations, pantone colors and catering and pin, pin, pin beautiful Ketubot and Chuppot in order to create daily eye candy for my readers and followers. Here for you now is some of the best from the past year along with some you haven’t seen before as we continue to be, “Your Guide as You Head to the Chuppah!”

Michele Schwartz CEO (Chief Event Organizer)

2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

City of lights

AN INSPIRED NIGHT

setting the scene Creating a theme to remember

}

{ by Michele Schwartz }

onjour Mes Amis! Beinvue a Paris! As the city of high couture, there is no better setting to inspire a themed wedding-styled photography shoot. The Modern Jewish Wedding created a jet-set Paris destination wedding for your exclusive invitation! Once inspired (and Pinterest has made that task delightful), I think of how to best showcase the theme with a WOW factor to each section of the party: the pre-show (or cocktail hour), the show (the main event) and the departure. The key is to never reveal too much at any one time. For this Paris inspired, styled wedding and reception, we started off the ceremony décor with the bride herself. Her loose, flowing curls and an off-the-shoulder gown set the scene for an elegant evening. She was complemented by attendants in black and a monochromatic hot pink floral bouquet. To replicate the French-inspired pom-pom carried by our pretty-in-pink flower girl, floral of pink carnations adorned each chuppah pole. Carnations were selected as a subtle nod to Sex and the City and Carrie’s enduring love of Paris. The homage to Carrie is one example of individualized touches within the Paris themed wedding style. The reception began with a distinct WOW factor—a mime to greet each guest with a handshake, silently offer passed appetizers and direct guests to the bar. Tiny details created a multi-sensory experience to ensure the guests felt fully transported to the City of Lights. The décor mirrored a departure lounge including vintage Paris luggage seat{continued on page 11}

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love in paris

romantic

Paris...all over again.

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{continued from page 8}

ing cards. Handmade menu cards elegantly displayed the damask pattern with black and hot pink accents. Premier, Deuxieme and Troisieme were used to illustrate the different courses. MJW infused personality into the styled shoot with both a popcorn bar (done at my wedding too) and an amazing dessert buffet, including Eiffel Tower cookies! The Eiffel Tower and street signs were a recurring theme throughout the event. Traditional Paris street signs inspired the graphic for the table numbers and included names of famous Paris landmarks. A personalized Eiffel tower “go before the optical” (or gobo) lighting treatment adorned the walls with the couple’s name. Speaking of lights—the room was washed in hot pink up-lighting which gave the space a spectacular and romantic atmosphere. We polished off the room’s look with the centerpieces consisting of tall macaroon towers, Tour d’Eiffel, vintage Paris hot boxes, luggage, pom-poms and damask vases. We covered every detail right down to the traditional Paris dress form that stood at the table to welcome guests. Last but certainly not least, the biggest WOW factor of the evening was the most adorable flower girl ever who stole everyone’s heart (and some candy)! Au Revoir! MJW

{see more on page 12}

party

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Parisian

vendor credits Photographers: Kate Anfinson Photography, Ginny B Photography, Chuppah: Olam Weddings, Floral Design: Bella by Sara, Place Cards & Table Numbers: Sparkle Creative, Lighting: ILD Lighting, DJ: Penguin Entertainment, Linens: Premiere Party Central, Hospitality Bags: Works on Paper, Candy Buffet: Kellieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Kandies & Cookies, Venue: Westin Austin at the Domain, Event Concept and Design: The Modern Jewish Wedding

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

tradition unveiled

Yihud

A PRIVATE TRADITION

{ by Michele Schwartz }

h e chuppah, the seven blessings (Shevra Brachot), the stomping of the glass, the Ketubah…so many beautiful Jewish wedding traditions; most of which can be updated to be “Modern” Jewish Wedding traditions. So, why is the least Modern Jewish Wedding tradition, Yihud, my favorite? Yihud, is the Hebrew translation of the word, “seclusion.” Historically it was prohibited for an unmarried man and woman to be together alone. Thus, the concept of Yihud began right after the chuppah ceremony to honor the first time the couple were alone together. Contrary to popular belief the purpose wasn’t (and still isn’t) to con-

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summate the marriage. Today, most unmarried couples have spent plenty of time alone together. So, why should you incorporate Yihud into your wedding day timeline? Your wedding day will probably go something like this: }} Wake up early—you’re too excited to sleep }} Hair and makeup to become picture perfect Then, }} Pictures with your bridesmaids }} Pictures with the groomsmen }} Pictures with your family }} Pictures with the groom’s family }} Pictures with your bridal bouquet

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photos by Mann Danielle Aquiline Photography; Chyna Darner Photography; Jacquelyn Poussot Photography; and Jenny GG Photography

Pictures of your first look }} Pictures of your Ketubah signing }} Pictures of your Bedekken }} Pictures of your processional }} Pictures of your tallit wrap }} Pictures of stomping the glass }} Pictures of your recessional }} Pictures with your husband }} Pictures with your guests }} Pictures of the Hora You get the picture! (Pun intended!) If it sounds like you’re going to be pulled in multiple directions all at the same time, that’s about right! Rabbi Rick Brody of Congregation Kol Halev, explains Yihud this way, “The opportunity for the partners to be completely alone with each other, safe from the public excitement (and often chaos) that characterizes the rest of the day, particularly the chuppah that preceded it and the celebration that is about to follow. }}

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These sheltered moments provide a recognition from the tradition that the couple deserves both some “down time” – a chance to just ‘be’ and to breathe – and also a sharing of intimacy that is entirely and exclusively about them alone. It gives them the opportunity to behold each other fully without the guidance of a wedding officiant or other ritual and without the onlooking of guests. It allows them to bask in their joy and to quietly and gently begin their married life together with a level of privacy.” Don’t you want to take the few minutes to take a deep breath, look into the eyes of your new spouse, have a private hug and kiss and maybe even something to eat and drink from your cocktail hour? Call it “me” time, quality time with your spouse or Yihud. Whatever you call it, you want to be sure to include it as a part of your wedding day. Oh, and no pictures allowed! MJW

2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Fall

inspirations

IN LOVE WITH AMY ATLAS

{ by Michele Schwartz }

huge highlight of the previous year was when I met the originator of the Dessert Buffet concept, Amy Atlas, while she was on her book tour. Amy’s book, Sweet Designs: Bake It, Craft It, Style It, is like an event planner’s bible. She knows how to take a theme, dream up desserts and make dessert the best part of an event décor. I first fell in love with her talent when my mouth watered at her Halloween table. I know, not so much a Jewish holiday, but it is my birthday! I subscribed to her daily eye candy (literally and figuratively) immediately. 16

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Amy is every bit as sweet as the desserts she creates.

Her Halloween genius was quickly followed up with my still favorite artistic Thanksgiving dessert buffet. Fall is my favorite time of year; Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday (non-Jewish) and I was engaged to be married on Thanksgiving weekend. I had my local cookie genius copy Amy’s buffet detail for my own wedding reception. Amy is every bit as sweet as the desserts she creates. She took the time to pose for pictures, sign books and share with us not only the secrets to styling a table, but also some of her winning business philosophy. She’s amazing! I soaked up the time with her and asked her as many questions as I could. Here is some of the wisdom she shared.

Q} How did you get your start in sweets?

My father was my original partner in sweets and then there was my grandmother who was an incredible baker—I learned how to bake in her kitchen. So for me, desserts and sweets were always a source of happiness. Originally it was a hobby and then it organically grew into a business through word of mouth. Because no one had taken the Viennese table to the next level, I recognized that there was a niche that could be filled. Since dessert is the final vestige of a lovely gathering, I thought it should be the most memorable.

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Q} What’s your favorite part of event planning?

I love seeing a client’s inspiration develop into a story for their event. It is extremely gratifying turning a client’s vision into reality and seeing their response (as well as their guests’) to the design at the event.

Q} What/who inspires you? Where do you get your creative vision?

photos courtesy of Amy Atlas

I am inspired by everything around me. I always get a little stuck in the beginning when I am coming up with a concept. It can be very frustrating, but every designer goes through it. When I have a creative block, I usually try to take a break from what I am doing. I’ll go for a walk/run or listen to music. I find it is better to get away from what I am thinking of instead of forcing it. Often, I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and everything will “click.” I’m not going to lie, I have a total girl crush on Amy. I often joke (even though I’m slightly older than her) that I want to be Amy Atlas when I grow up. What was the best part of meeting her? As high as my expectations were, she didn’t disappoint! And, of course, she’s a nice Jewish lady from New York, who treasures time with her family, more than anything. MJW

Amy Atlas is founder of Amy Atlas Events.Visit her blog, Sweet Designs, for inspired ideas.

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

groom’s guide

TOP

photo by Frame 36 Photography

THINGS EVERY GROOM-TO-BE SHOULD KNOW

{ by Chris Easter }

h e days of grooms being stereotyped as bumbling idiots are long gone. Today’s grooms are well-informed and involved when it comes to wedding planning. Whether it’s coordinating wedding day attire, planning a groom-friendly wedding shower, or designing invitations for the rehearsal dinner, the modern groom is a far cry from the “leave me out of this”-minded man-child whose only duty was to show up and smile for photos. The groom’s side of the wedding has evolved into an arena for the man to leave his own personal mark on the planning of the wedding. Here are The Man Registry’s top 10 list of things every groom (and his bride-to-be) should keep in mind while planning the big day.

10} Marriage License: Don’t wait

It seems so simple. All you have to do is go to the courthouse, answer some questions, and be presented with your marriage license. Not so fast. You need to be familiar with your state’s require-

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ments and waiting periods. This may seem like a minor last-minute item on the to-do list, but without it you can’t legally be married.

9} Writing Vows: Leave your mark

Traditional Jewish vows are one liners! So, many of today’s grooms are supplementing the stock vows and penning their own unique commitment words for the bride. If you’ve decided to go this route, remember to include the promises you intend to keep.

8} Wedding Bands: Do your research

Just what a guy wants. He’s already shelled out for an engagement ring and now he has to make another trip back to the jeweler to select weddings bands. Do some research beforehand and decide if you’ll be looking for matching bands or something unique. Many Jewish grooms choose the traditional wedding inscription, “I am my beloved and my beloved is mine.” It’s recommended to have the bands picked out a minimum of three months in advance of the wedding.

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7} The Wedding Party: Whom to select

Most grooms have a solid gut feeling on whom they’ll select as their best man. This is usually a brother or other life-long friend. It’s considered courtesy to include your future mishpacha (soon-to-be brother-in-laws) in the wedding party as well. Depending on how many groomsmen/ bridesmaids there will be, there’s always room for more friends to serve as ushers.

6} Bachelor Party: It’s not just about beer

When you hear the words bachelor party, common thoughts are always bars, beer and more beer. This isn’t necessarily the case today. Adventure and destination bachelor parties are all the rage. Many grooms are trading in visits to the night clubs for golf outings, camping trips, and even sky-diving. Some couples are having joint bachelor/bachelorette weekends that involve a weekend trip to wine country or a beach house. Did you know celebrating with the bride and groom is considered a Mitzvah for others? Don’t deprive your friends of having fun with you and celebrating your upcoming nuptials!

5} Wedding Day Attire: Stay on top of it

What the groom and groomsmen wear on the wedding day is usually coordinated with the wedding colors and bridesmaids’ dresses. Men who are taking an active role in the selection of attire should think about whether they want a tux or suit, the style and color, and whether they’re renting or buying. Arranging tuxedo rental can be tricky, especially if you have a large wedding party. You need to make sure everyone is measured and picks up their tuxes on time.

4} Groomsmen Gifts: Flask or cuff links?

If you’ve ever been a member of a wedding party, then you know it’s standard for the groom to present his attendants with a gift to thank them for being a part of the big day. Just as the groom’s roles in wedding planning have evolved, so have groomsmen gifts. Creativity is key for men today as popular gifts have become tickets to sporting events, bottles of aged wine and even weekend excursions (with the groom footing the bill).

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3} Wedding Speeches: Toasting with class

One of the scariest things for the groom is to stand up in front of friends and family and toast his new wife. Statistics say that public speaking is the No. 1 fear of Americans (even beating out death!) One of the best ways to quash the nerves is to apply the age-old adage of practice, practice, practice. Here’s a quick guide for preparing for a successful toast: }} Thank everyone for attending. }} Keep humor to a minimum (we all know the gutbusting toasts are reserved for the best man). }} Thank your wedding party and both sets of parents for their support on the special day. }} Close with words directed at your new wife. We can’t tell you what to say, but say it from the heart (obviously).

2} The Groom’s Cake: It’s all about the groom

Yes, you read that correctly. The groom’s cake is a themed wedding dessert that’s selected and paid for by the groom and his family. The theme is generally styled after a major interest or hobby in the groom’s life. Some examples include a favorite sports team logo or a passtime such as fishing, fixing up cars or traveling. The groom’s cake is usually a different flavor and therefore when served at the reception along with the main wedding cake, offers guests another option.

1} Groom Showers: In the name of equality

It’s definitely not your parents wedding shower. Instead of place settings, bath towels and platters, the gifts given at a groom-friendly shower are power tools, speakers and BBQ equipment. It’s become common for a couple to have at least one couples or “man” shower during their engagement. How about a Tool and Table couples shower? Other popular groom’s party themes include backyard and garden, home improvement and bar and grill. The best part: These are gifts that both the groom and bride will enjoy. MJW

Chris Easter is co-founder of TheManRegistry.com, the leading wedding registry and online content provider for engaged men.

2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

now what?

steps to the chuppah MAZEL TOV! YOU’RE ENGAGED!

YEAR OR MORE

MONTHS OUT

✓✓ Select a date for

the event. ✓✓ Create a preliminary

guest list. ✓✓ Establish a budget. ✓✓ Determine the number of

events you want to have.

✓✓ Contract for reduced rates

at a hotel for your out-oftown guests. ✓✓ Send save-the-date cards

to your out-of-town guests and include hotel reservation information.

✓✓ Discuss whether you will

have a themed social event, which may affect the type of venue you will need. ✓✓ Hire an event planner for all

or parts of the celebration. ✓✓ Visit venues and interview

other potential needed vendors such as a caterer, DJ/ band, photographer, lighting specialist and florist.

✓✓ Meet with your caterer

and decide on type of food service and menu. ✓✓ Decide on your décor (pin

✓✓ Mail save-the-date cards

to in-town guests. ✓✓ Reserve needed rental

items.

to your Pinterest board) and meet with necessary vendors. ✓✓ Begin to purchase special-

ty items you might want for your décor. ✓✓ Review your guest list

again. ✓✓ Order invitations and thank

you cards. ✓✓ Confirm any needed

transportation.

✓✓ Begin to negotiate

contracts, sign and place deposits.

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photos by Ars Magna Studio, Jenny GG Photography, Frame 36 Photography, Chelsea Elizabeth Photography

} } } }

MONTHS OUT

MONTH OUT

WEEK OUT

THE

Big

EVENT

} } } }

✓✓ Mail invitations to arrive six

weeks in advance/eight weeks in advance for out-of-town guests. Include RSVP information. ✓✓ Ask for RSVP information

at least three weeks in advance of the party.

✓✓ Prepare your seating list/

arrangement if you will have one. ✓✓ Review and confirm all

your vendors, pay any outstanding balances. ✓✓ Finalize your program.

✓✓ Purchase DJ handouts/

party favors and other gifts. Purchase other needed ritual items, such as personalized kippot. Beware of delivery times! ✓✓ Make a list of people

being honored and what role they will have.

✓✓ Confirm everything with

everyone. Give final counts to the caterer; give a timeline to DJ/band. Give delivery times to rental vendors, the florist and lighting companies. Confirm floor plan with your venue. ✓✓ Prepare hotel welcome

baskets for out-of-town guests.

✓✓ Rehearsal ✓✓ Other planned ceremonies

such as: Mikvah or Blessing at Services. ✓✓ Relax and Enjoy! Be con-

fident knowing you have hired a team of vendors who are going to do their jobs—stay out of their way!

✓✓ Begin baking (or having

friends help with) hospitality suite goodies and/or Oneg Shabbat.

✓✓ Hire valet and security if

needed.

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Golden

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Day

Conservative wedding

{ by Viviana Durand }

ursts of yellow on a brilliant, blue sky created memories at The Glen Island Harbour Club, a historic resort in New Rochelle, New York.

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aime and Henrik were high school sweethearts. After six years of being together, Henrik finally proposed. His proposal stayed true to character: He took her out to one of the best restaurants in New York City – a supposed graduation celebration for Jaime – and at the time that dessert came he got on one knee, pretending to lose his train ticket. “I loose everything,” he said, “so it made sense.” When he came up from the floor, he was on one knee with a ring. Jaime was taken completely by surprise. They were out to celebrate her graduation and she never thought the night would end with a ring on her finger! She was so in shock, she couldn’t even finish dessert she said, which “is really rare.” Jaime was so excited she soon started planning the wedding. They picked a fall wedding after the High Holy Days were over. As it turns out, October 23, 2011 was a perfect date. Every one they loved was able to share the day with them. Jaime planned her big day mostly without her fiancée’s intervention—except when it came to the menu. The venue was also something that they chose together. Henrik really wanted a place near the water and when they visited Glen Island in New Rochelle they fell in love with it—no other place could compare. With the venue reserved, Jaime set out with her mom and sister to get the rest of the details together. Her mom was really supportive and went to every appointment with Jaime while her sister took the role of maid of honor seriously and planned the bridal shower and the bachelorette weekend. Jaime had always wanted yellow to be part of her color scheme. With some hesitation from her bridesmaids and a few cringes from her guests, she took a risk and decided to keep the color. It turned out beautifully. “Why can’t yellow be a fall color too?” The next step was looking for a dress. Jaime had no expectations and was really lucky to find a dress she loved after trying on only a handful of dresses. “I never really have a ‘click’ moment,” said Jaime. She {continued on page 31}

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vendor credits Photographer: Casey Fatchett Photography, Floral Designer: Arcadia Floral, Reception Venue: Glen Island Harbor Club, Dress Designer: Alvina Valenta, DJ: Steven Scott Entertainment, Shoes: Badgley Mischka, Ketubah: Israel Book Shop in Brookline, MA (by Mickie Caspi), Editorial Partner: Two Bright Lights

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{continued from page 26}

felt comfortable and liked it. Her sister had a great influence on the choice. “She has a great sense of style,” Jaime said, “and loved the second dress I tried.” That’s the one she chose. After a year of planning, the day of the wedding finally arrived. Jaime felt “surprisingly calm” the morning of the big day. “The only stressful part was driving from my house to the venue because we were running a little late,” Jaime said. Having her friends and family around her had a huge influence in keeping her excited instead of nervous. Once the ceremony started Henrik remembers being “in utter shock” as Jaime walked down the aisle. “She looked beautiful and I just felt so happy and overwhelmed and it was all just so surreal,” exclaims Henrik. He remembers the ceremony as one of his favorite moments: “It was a time when all eyes were on us and I felt so special and knew that I

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couldn’t imagine spending this day with anyone else.” Little to Henrik’s knowledge, Jaime had a surprise for him at the reception. She serenaded him with: Elton John’s “Your Song,” “Boys Like Girls,” “Two is Better Than One,” and Alicia Keys’ “No One.” “The songs just happened to be ones I really thought fit what I wanted to say to him. It wasn’t the actual song that had a meaning, just the words in them,” explained Jaime. Asking them about what they most wanted out of their wedding, Jaime answered, “We wanted to make sure it was an event we would never forget—I don’t believe we ever will!” Clearly, this wedding is one to remember. The gorgeous yet original fall colors and the incredible love shared by Jaime and Henrik made an amazing wedding that will remain in their (and our) hearts forever. MJW

2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Vintage

Fun

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Reform wedding

{ by Viviana Durand }

onoring the past, the Minneapolis bride wore her mother’s gown and wed under the family chuppah embroideried with the couple’s names.

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33 33

obyn and Neil are living proof that distance is an obstacle easily overcome by love. They met while in medical school in Chicago and soon began dating. After graduating, their relationship went long distance for three years while working on their residencies. “It wasn’t easy,” says Robyn, but by making sure to keep in contact every day they made it work. Afterwards Neil moved to Philadelphia to be with Robyn and after five and a half years of dating they got engaged. Neil’s proposal was picture perfect. “He’d had the ring for a while,” says Robyn and was “waiting for the perfect moment.” That moment came with a little help from a friend. While vacationing in the Hamptons with their friends, Neil was gently encouraged by Robyn’s best friend to propose. He took Robyn out to a gorgeous picturesque beachfront and took the ring out. “We celebrated all weekend with friends,” exclaimed Robyn. They soon started to plan the wedding. They wanted to get married in Minneapolis (where Robyn is from) and August 7, 2010 turned out to be the best available date for the synagogue, the venue, and their families. Family is an extremely important part of Robyn and Neil’s life so they wanted to honor that at their wedding. “We wanted to include as many tie-ins to our families and traditions as possible,” says Robyn. It’s no exaggeration that this wedding was a family affair. Robyn wore her mom’s wedding dress as they stood under their family’s chuppah with their names embroidered by their cousin; they drank from her great-great-grandmother’s Kiddush cup and even decorated with pictures of the family. This made for a truly original wedding. When asked why she chose her mom’s wedding dress, her answer was simple: “It was THE dress for me.” Initially, she looked elsewhere trying on dozens of dresses at dozens of stores but nothing ever felt right. “I never found one that I just HAD to have, Robyn says, “I didn’t know what that was supposed to feel like.” She had always liked the material of her mom’s dress and after consulting with Beth Puchtel {continued on page 39}

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vendor credits Photographer: Erin Johnson Photography, Event Designer: Amy Zaroff Events + Design, Floral Designer: Richfield Flowers and Events, Reception Venue: Metropolitan Ballroom

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{continued from page 34}

about alterations she decided it was the one. “Wearing it I felt beautiful, comfortable and so special,” exclaims Robyn. Unlike many other couples, Neil was included in the whole planning process. Sure, he wasn’t

so interested in flowers and linens, but when it came to food and drinks, “his voice was surely heard.” Also unlike many brides, the whole planning process was fairly stress-free for Robyn because she lived out of town. “I was so fortunate to have parents that were willing to do so much, and fantastic wedding planners who could execute my vision,” says Robyn. And so they did. August 7th soon arrived. Feeling obviously excited the couple got ready for their big day. Before the ceremony Robyn and Neil had their big “reveal.” For her, it was one of the best moments. “I remember feeling what this whole big production was about: our love for and commitment to each other,” she said. After a beautiful ceremony Robyn and Neil separated from the guests during their cocktail hour to enjoy some alone time before the party and wait to be introduced as husband and wife for their first dance. They danced to “You and Me” by Dave Mathews Band. “It was a song that so simply captured our feelings,” says Robyn. Robyn and Neil got a lot of help along the way and honored their loved ones not only by representing them, but also by celebrating alongside them. It was a lovely ceremony that will always be in the hearts of those involved. MJW

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Outdoor Elegance

Interfaith wedding

vendor credits Photographer: Frame 36 Photography, Editorial Partner: Two Bright Lights, Caterer: New West Catering, Event Planner: La Fleur Weddings & Events, Floral Designer: Camilla Couture Floral, Musicians: Ybarra Music, DJ: 11H Entertainment, Lighting: Ambient Event Design, Linens and Coverings: LaTavola Linens, Equipment Rentals: Classic Party Rentals, Makeup Artist: TEAM Hair and Makeup, Officiant: Weddings With Spirit

{â&#x20AC;&#x2020;by Michele Schwartzâ&#x20AC;&#x2020;}

winkle-light inspired invitations set the stage for an intimate and luxurious outdoor wedding held at a private estate in Montecito, California.

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

rew Barrymore, Anne Hathaway and Chelsea Clinton each wed their Jewish spouse under a chuppah, in an interfaith wedding. The chuppah, the tradition where the groom stomps on the glass and the ceremonial Hora are three of the suggested ways you can “do Jewish at your non-Jewish or interfaith wedding.” Rachel and David were married by Rabbi Barry Tuchman, of Weddings with Spirit, who specializes in creating interfaith ceremonies grounded in Jewish wedding tradition. Because of his mission for interfaith couples, Rabbi Barry understands the needs of not only the couple’s desires to honor both faiths, but is able to help with the concerns that arise from family members. His approach is “casual, joyous and contemporary.” Rachel and David’s wedding was all of those: chic, joyous, filled with tradition and yet contemporary. Held at Rachel’s family estate in Montecito, the venue lent itself to an outdoor ceremony and reception. The bridesmaids each wore a version of the same A-line, warm gray dress, giving each an individual, elegant look. David wore a slim-fitting charcoal gray suit with black converse tennis shoes (that he used to stomp the glass) and a skinny black tie. Rachel wore a strapless sweetheart dress that featured pewter-colored crystal beading detail on the bodice, a modern, tattered A-line skirt and a metallic pewter belt. My favorite touch from Rachel is her matching gray nail polish. It’s perfect. And, let’s not forget her fabulous shoes! Their modern color palette of gray/silver and red were found throughout their wedding details. Starting with the twinkle-light inspired invitation. The twinkle lights even made an appearance in the wedding décor helping to light the trees over the dinner tables and the dance floor. The entire outdoor estate was utilized for the affair. The chuppah ceremony took place in the courtyard, the pool was the setting for the cocktail hour and dinner was served on farm tables on the {continued on page 47}

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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front lawn. The beautiful banquet tables were covered with gray linens and the splashes of bright red floral centerpieces popped. Casual lounge areas were created for guests to enjoy drinks and conversation. Modern lanterns suspended from the trees hung over the dance floor where the Hora and celebration lasted all night long. A Jewish mother, whose son was marrying a non-Jewish woman, once said, “All I want is to see him stomp on the glass!” It’s the sound of a Jewish wedding. It represents a forever change from one into two—just as the pieces of the glass will never be the same, neither will the bride and groom. From this day forward, they are joined and changed forever. After you stomp on the glass, take a moment to contemplate that change by participating in one other Jewish tradition—Yihud! Rachel and David’s wedding was a chic, yet elegant outdoor celebration like no other. Mazel Tov! MJW

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Traditional

Spâ&#x20AC;&#x160;lendor

Orthodox wedding

{â&#x20AC;&#x2020;by Viviana Durandâ&#x20AC;&#x2020;}

xquisite and orthodox, the bride and groom had the celebration of a lifetime in the Philidephia Please Touch Museum.

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hira and Eric took a long time to get from their engagement in 2008 to walking down the aisle in 2011. Unlikely as it sounds, they didn’t give much thought to their wedding. “We got engaged and then four months later we had to move to Germany for Eric’s work,” says Shira. However, they did have to deal with a lot of nagging from their family and friends. Finally, they gave in and began to think about a date. Everything was very uncertain: “We weren’t sure how long we were going to be in Germany. We knew we’d be back by January 2011, so, we took a risk and picked a winter date.” Even though Shira did not want to start planning the wedding immediately – “2011 seemed so far away” – her mom convinced her to at least find a gown before leaving for Germany. Her challenge was to find something she would still love in two years, something modest and fashionable. Shira got very lucky. She took a picture of a long-sleeved Monique Lhullier gown to Mark Ingram Bridal and to her great surprise they still had it! She tried other dresses, “but I kept coming back to the Monique, I just knew,” she said. Without much thought she bought it and stowed it away, not seeing it again for two years. Moving to Germany was hectic enough without having to deal with planning a wedding so Shira’s mom took charge. “She was really amazing. She did research on the top kosher caterers, cool venues and great entertainment,” says Shira of her mom. It was very important to the couple to have a traditional Jewish wedding. “I wanted it to be an awesome wedding which just happened to be kosher and Jewish,” Her mom really stepped up to create that vision. The first step was the venue. Shira’s mom did a lot of the scouting and on one of the couple’s visits to the U.S., she took them to the Please Touch Museum in Fairmount Park and their “jaws just dropped.” It was the perfect place. The building is now a children’s museum and because they got engaged at Disneyworld, it was very appropriate—“The perfect blend of elegant and whimsy.” {continued on page 55}

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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vendor credits Venue: The Please Touch Museum, Photography: Susan Stripling, Videography: Martinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Video, Floral Design: Amaranth, Bridal Attire: Monique Lhuillier, Entertainment: Mitlas Productions, Catering: Prestige

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The rest of the details soon began falling into place. For their colors they chose purple and white: “classic, elegant and simple.” The florist, Loretta, who had done Shira’s Bat Mitzvah, was responsible for the incredible arrangements and chuppah. For music, Eric took the lead. He wanted a DJ even though Shira wanted a band for classic music and Jewish dancing. Their solution: They got both! Finally they focused on the very important Jewish aspects of the wedding. Shira’s uncles, who are both Orthodox rabbis, officiated the ceremony. The wedding itself was gorgeous. It was very important to the couple that their guests understand all the traditions, so they wrote a great program for them to follow along. That way, “our ceremony, while rich with Jewish tradition, was not a mystery,” says Shira. The party was also incredibly fun. “It was a really great blend of modern secular fun with traditional Jewish fun,” remembers Shira. It was exactly what Shira and Eric wanted for their special day: to honor their faith in a modern way. MJW

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Seaside Beauty

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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Destination wedding

{â&#x20AC;&#x2020;by Viviana Durandâ&#x20AC;&#x2020;}

peacock theme paired with Mexican and Jewish tradition made for a radiant wedding at the Azul Sensatori Resort in Puerto Morelos, Mexico.

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

hey were supposed to get married at city hall. They ended up getting married at a beautiful beach in Mexico with their closest family and friends. Matt and Monica’s gorgeous peacock-themed wedding in the Sky Deck at the Azul Sensatori Resort in Puerto Morelos, Mexico was one to remember. From the location, to the dress to the incredible colors, it was extremely original. The couple met at the NYC Sports Club in Hoboken, N.J. They both share a deep love for working out and all things outdoor. Fittingly, Monica wanted a proposal on top of a ski mountain. Matt knew this, but decided to propose at their apartment after the ski trip. “It was the safer choice,” says Matt. Looking back, Monica agrees: “I don’t know what I was thinking; taking off the ski gloves, frozen fingers, goggles, ring accidently falling in the snow. It sounded good in my head.” The proposal was no surprise; the couple had been dating for six years and they were in their midthirties. However, they had never really talked about the kind of wedding they wanted to have. This time though, the bride had to impress the groom with the planning. On their first date Monica remembers Matt glowing about his good friend’s wedding. This is part of what makes their wedding so special—they were both very involved in every aspect. “Times are changing,” exclaims Monica. They planned almost everything by themselves. It took them a while to get all the logistics together. Monica was leaning towards more of a city hall wedding than a 200-person party. “As lovely as they are, I could not imagine myself having a reception-hall wedding,” says Monica. Until, however, the idea of a destination wedding came up. Monica was familiar with Elizabeth Medina’s photography and she knew Elizabeth could make their vision come true. They chose Mexico because it was their favorite vacation spot and because of Monica’s Mexican heritage. They credit the Internet for planning inspiration. “The blogs out there are amazing!” exclaims Monica. The hunt for the perfect dress was a unique {continued on page 63}

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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vendor credits Photographer: Elizabeth Medina Photography, Venue: Sky Deck at the Azul Sensatori Resort in Puerto Morelos, Custom Guest Signing Print: Bee and Leaf

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

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experience for Monica. Why? Because she designed and sewed every inch of it. She studied design at the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising and always knew she wanted to make her own wedding dress. When the time came however, she panicked, “I had not draped, drafted or sewn an item in over 12 years!” She went to Klienfields in New York City to try on some dresses. And though she did find an incredible Lazaro gown, she decided to make her dress for two reasons: she wanted a convertible dress and her husband-to-be really believed in her abilities. Monica worked for eight months to make her gorgeous dress. With everything complete, Monica and Matt jetted off to Mexico for the big day. “I just felt so happy that everything turned out better than we imagined,” exclaims Matt. The morning of their wedding they woke up to a beautiful sunny day after two days of nonstop rain. They were married by Rabbi Debrah Hachen. “She was a complete blessing,” says Monica. Rabbi Debrah guided them through everything with a wonderful “positive energy.” After the ceremony the couple had a “Dancing with the Stars” moment as they swing danced to Bruno Mars’ “Marry You.” MJW

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

C lassic }

aisle trends

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Rachel and Josh held their Modern Orthodox ceremony a scant four months after their engagement. They managed to combine beautiful Jewish traditions and eschewed some of the new, more American customs. The couple used a talit and Kiddush cup belonging to Rachelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s grandfathers, but didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do a first slow dance. The best Modern Classic Trend from this wedding: The personal note Josh wrote to his bride for her to read the morning of their wedding. Total Tissue Alert!

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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photos by Stephanie Reinish Photography

ersonal touches make it your day

{ by Michele Schwartz }

Before you start deciding on which color, catering and chuppah trend you want to incorporate into your wedding design; first consider how you plan to show off your individual style. Create some time with your fiancé to both shut your eyes and share the top five

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priorities each of you has for your wedding day. The Creative Jewish Wedding Book by Gabrielle Kaplan-Mayer is a great book to help you get started. Then task your event planner with making sure your vision comes to life! MJW

2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Romantic

MODERN

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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photos by Bishop Photography

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This October wedding in Laguna Beach was so popular with our readers we had to share it again! The couple embraced the Jewish traditions: a chuppah, a tallit wrap, a glass stomping and the Hora! Our favorite Modern Romantic trend Vanessa and Spencer incorporated into their wedding day celebration: The mix of rectangular and round tables for guest seating in their starlit tent!

photos by Richard Bell Photography

Destination

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Amy and Aaron chose a destination South Carolina wedding so their family and friends could celebrate all weekend with them. The couple wanted, â&#x20AC;&#x153;To have a comfortable, casual wedding with an undertone of elegance.â&#x20AC;? A Modern Destination aisle trend Amy and Aaron used: Their choice of venue! The resort afforded them multiple choices for their wedding ceremony and reception as well as recreation and activities.

2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

mitzvah magic

UP!

BATTE R THE FIRST BIG DAY { by Michele Schwartz }

aniel’s baseball theme for his Bar Mitzvah was a natural choice—he’s grown up playing the sport. In the summer before his Bar Mitzvah his select baseball team even had the opportunity to play in Cooperstown. The Modern Jewish Mitzvah team were the first vendors on board and we were able to assemble the best of the best to make sure this baseball party was a home run! Our inspiration came from the logo design, done by Daniel’s aunt and artist, Dana Nisenfeld. Daniel is a Texas Ranger’s fan, and their logo and colors made for easy adaptability into every element of the party design. Daniel’s baseball logo was even {continued on page 70}

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

A baseball inspired Bar Mitzvah hits it out of the park!

VENDOR CREDITS Event Concept and Design: The Modern Jewish Wedding/Mitzvah, Photographer: Ginny B Photography, Lighting: ILD Lighting, Ice Sculpture: Full Spectrum Ice, Venue: Jewish Community Center of Austin, Catering: Events by Emily, Salt Lick BBQ, Balloon Decor: Balloon People of Texas, Linens and Rentals: Premiere Party Central, Concessions: Reel Popcorn, Polkadots Cupcake Factory, Ritaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Italian Ices, Custom Candy Bar Wrapper

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

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turned into an exclusive “go before the optical” (or gobo) lighting treatment by ILD Lighting. Every angle the room was made to feel like a baseball stadium. Guests entered the room by walking through a steel stadium structure. The centerpieces were varying heights, made from real Jersey’s, team pennants and some floral. The tables were adorned with red and blue alternat-

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

ing linens and baseball cards. The dance floor was lined with pennants and the baseball balloon arch with Daniel’s name in silver lettering. There were even two bars serving guests from blue stadium cups with Daniel’s logo imprinted on them. The main course selection was easy. When you come to Texas for a game (football, baseball or DJ) you expect good BBQ. Importing Salt Lick BBQ from Dripping Springs was the obvious solution. The BBQ, corn-on-the-cob, salad and all the fixins’ were on the same adult and kid buffet. Our question was what we should serve before and after dinner? We created a ballpark-like atmosphere; complete with concession stands providing popular ballpark snacks for appetizers. The concession stand was also home to an Amy Atlas-inspired dessert buffet, complete with: No. 13 cookies; red, white and blue popcorn; big league chew, cotton candy, cracker jacks, chocolate bars wrapped to look like a ticket to the big game and Italian ices served from an ice sculpture shaped like Daniel’s logo. Guests all left with a stadium cup, photo entertainment and plenty of candy for the ride home!

MJW

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Bâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;nai Mitzvah hold a special place in my heart. I love seeing the development of the minds, hearts, leadership abilities and spirituality of young people over time as they move from childhood towards adulthood.

Abby Gostein, Cantorial Soloist at Temple Beth Shalom

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2012 | The Modern Jewish Wedding

Modern

photos by Meg Baisden Photography, Viera Photographics

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â&#x20AC;&#x160;The images and stories in this magazine are a small sampling of ideas for you as you head to the chuppah. Receive daily inspiration as you plan your Jewish wedding or a wedding with Jewish touches.

The Modern Jewish Wedding | 2012

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