kids
Is having kids bad for your health?
Is having
health?
Monika Collins
bad for your
“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.� Mahatma Gandhi 3
...SO WHAT IS THIS
BOOK ALL ABOUT?
5
When fertility rates are sky rocketing in less-developed countries, the western world is seeing decline in number of people deciding to have a family. In the past 20 years the term “childlessness” is used very openly to describe people not wanting or not being able to have kids. The more educated people are (especially women) the more likely the answer is negative. Even being in a long-term relationship doesn’t determine that they are planning to have ‘bundles of joy’. We find many reasons to become a parent and as many reasons to stay childless. From social pressure, personal freedom, responsibility, stress, financial distress and overpopulation, to gaining more respect and self fulfillment, through unconditional love and support. This book is merely an attempt to find answers. Becoming a parent is not an easy decision, especially if talking about impacting one’s mental and physical health. It is a decision for life, so be prepared! 7
look for the baby giraffe
for the positive side
of being a parent
look for the baby panda
for the negative side
of being a parent
9
...so how can little
p
ones affect your
hysical health? 11
let’s talk about sleep deprivation... Many people, who decide to become parents, are concerned that this responsibility brings a lot of sleepless nights. Countless studies have explored this topic analyzing the effect of having kids on sleep duration among moms and dads. What did they find? They say that parents of little kids slept less than adults without children. Also parents of adult children did not have different sleep schedule time than childless adults. As kids grow up, parents tend to gain more relaxed and restful nights.
HOW MUCH SLEEP DO PARENTS LOSE PER MONTH
0-2 years old = 6hrs49min you could fly from London minutes to Dubai
409
2-5 years old
279 minutes
= 4hr39min in Sydney you could earn min. $78.50
6-18 years old
124 minutes
= 2hr 4min you could watch movie “Prometheus“ 13
how it can affect your life... Sleepiness Causes
Accidents
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that fatigue and tiredness are the cause of 100,000 auto crashes and 1,550 crash-related deaths a year in the U.S.
Lack Of Sleep Ages
Lack Of Sleep May Increase
Risk Of Death
The results, published in 2007, showed that those who had cut their sleep from seven to five hours or fewer causes. In particular, lack of sleep doubled the risk of death from cardiovascular disease.
Your Skin
When you don’t get enough sleep, your body releases more of the stress hormone cortisol. In excess amounts, cortisol can break down skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic.
Losing Sleep Can Cause
Weight Gain
Sleep Loss Impairs
Your Vision
According to a 2004 study, people who sleep less than six hours a day were almost 30 percent more likely to become obese than those who slept seven to nine hours.
The Ophthalmology department at Mayo Clinic, USA, found that sleep deprivation and irregularity leads to blurred vision and eye discomfort; while those conditions are not considered as major health problems, in chronic stages they can bring about major vision issues.
? Forgetful Sleepiness Makes You.
In 2009, American and French researchers found that brain events called “sharp wave ripples� are responsible for consolidating memory. Sharp wave ripples occur mostly during the deepest levels of sleep.
Sleep Loss Can Result in Serious
Health Problems
Sleep disorders and chronic sleep loss can put you at risk for: Heart disease, Heart attack, Heart failure, Irregular heartbeat, High blood pressure, Stroke, Diabetes.
Sleep Deficiency Kills.
Sex Drive
Sleep specialists say that sleep deprived men and women report 15 lower libidos and less interest in sex.
blood pressure too high?
parenthood may be
cardioprotective
Couples without children had significantly higher ambulatory Systolic Blood Pressure (SBP) and Diastolic Blood Pressure (DBP) than those with children.
Mothers showed the lowest Ambulatory Blood Pressure (ABP), where women without children displayed the highest. 17
catching cold too often?
become a parent!
Parents with
2 kids are
3+ kids are
48% 61% less likely to
catch a common cold
19
how can having
m
kids impact parents’
ental health? 21
kids=stress teenage parent
adult parent people who
people who
became
became
30
20
parents at
parents at
STRESS LEVEL COMPARISON BETWEEN DIFFERENT TYPES OF PARENTS
moms =dads parents who didn’t plan pregnancy
parents who had planned pregnancy
23
what about
parental depression?
Single parents are twice as likely to be
depressed as parents living in two-parent families.
25
how education level and family type links to
parental depressive symptoms
(two or more symptoms include: felt sad, hopeless, worthless, restless) single parent
parent living with a spouse
=2%
=2%
13.8 % 7.2 %
high school or less
10.2 % 8.2 %
high school graduate / GED
1st month
2nd month
3rd month
4th month
5th month
6th month
10% 20% 30%
How many and when
40%
MOTHERS and FATHERS face
postpartum depression?
50%
1 in 10
11.4 % 4.8 % 6.1 % 2.1 %
mothers
& fathers
experience
postpartum depression
some
ollege, no degree
bachelor’s degree or higher
27
FEELING OVERWHELMED? IN A NEED OF A BREAK?
ENJOY IT NOW, BECAUSE KIDS TAKE NO TIME OFF... but don’t let it make you feel down...
...because parental
relative happiness
increases significantly over time The possible reason is that having children may protect moms and dads against factors like: the decline in community and political involvement, growing separation from family and friends, and the growth in economic insecurity, that increasingly may reduce parents’ wellbeing.
18
45+
31
marital satisfaction
10 9
a happy story
of a married couple (based on two separate studies)
8 7
study #1
6 5 4
study #2
3 2 1
married without children
baby (0-2)
toddler (2-5)
school age child (5-12)
teenager (12-16)
first child leaves the nest
empty nest, retirement
how many kids
would make your age group - +
- +
happy? parents’
2 kids
1 kid
age group
50+ 40-49
- +
- +
30-39 20-29 15-19
min
3 kids
max
4 kids 33
Happiness Test 2. Relationships
My most important relationships get the most of my attention. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
3.Work
1.Self
I know who I am, and I like myself. not true (2 points) rarely true (4 points) sometimes true (6 points) mostly true (8 points) very true (10 points)
I have strong sense of purpose and/or I love my work. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
4. Attitude
I chose my attitude most of the time. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
How Happy Are You?
8. Health
I look after myself and take care of my well-being.
5. Gratitude
I appreciate my life as it happens. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
6. Forgiveness
I am good at letting go of past hurts and disappointments. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
7. Humor
I know how to have fun, and I do. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
9. Spirituality
I know what inspires me, supports me and give me strength. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
10. Now
I believe happiness is a way of traveling. not true (2) rarely true (4) sometimes true (6) mostly true (8) very true (10)
Call to Joy
84 - 100 points
Inside each of us is a call to joy. The more you answer this call, the more you discover the truth of who you are, what is important and what your life is for. By following your joy, you experience the fullness of your being and you discover a depth of creativity and talent that inspires the world. People who follow their joy are the renaissance workers who evolve the consciousness of humanity. It’s time to answer the call!
Getting There This is a healthy score. If you want to take your happiness score to the next level, you
68 - 83 points
need to recognize the difference between chasing after happiness and choosing happiness. Happiness is not outside you; it’s not a destination; and it’s not about “getting there.” When you stop chasing happiness, you allow yourself to be more present, more available and more open. This way you find happiness wherever you are.
Semi-Happy So, how are you? Watch out for answers like “I’m fine,” “Can’t complain,” “Mustn’t 52 - 67 points
Self-Care
36 - 51 points
grumble,” “Not so bad,” “Could be worse,” “So-so,” – enough! Yes, you are surviving, but now it’s time to start thriving! Imagine if you were to raise your happiness levels by another 10 percent immediately—what do you think you would you be doing more of, less of or differently? Being semi-happy is safe, but it’s ultimately unfulfilling. Maybe it’s time to take a risk.
This score is a sign that you could be looking after yourself better. Beware
of unhealthy self-sacrifice. Notice the cost of self-neglect. Acknowledge the help you need. Recognize how you might be limiting your own happiness. Remind yourself that it is not someone else’s job to make you happy. Remember also that your healing and your happiness is a gift to others.
Shift Happens! You probably knew you were going to score low before you took the test.
20 - 35 points
You need to take an honest look at why you feel the way you do. I also recommend you get help in putting together a program of personal recovery. The good news is a small change will make a big difference to your score.
The Be Happy Index (or BHI), is a test used during Dr. Robert Holden’s eight-week be happy program, which was famously tested by independent scientists for the BBC documentary How To Be Happy.
Take this short test to check
how happy you really are!
Why are you interested in investigating parental wellbeing? I have a lot of works that look at public policies on child wellbeing, but there is the other question of the effect of the policy on parental wellbeing. I think it actually make sense to conduct both kind of studies, because of the inheritance it is very important interaction between parents and young children. And there is a lot of scientific evidence if parents are happy and in good health or in a job that they are comfortable with, the benefits that they drive from that translates into benefits of their children.
“There is a lot of evidence that the degree of wellbeing experienced by parents translates directly into wellbeing of their children. “ What about your recent paper where you find that parents are actually happier than non-parents? This is an interesting paper, that it is a bit controversial. There is a lot of work looking at the presents of children in a household having impact on the adults’ (the parents’) happiness. Larger number of studies found more negative effect than a neutral effect. My co-author John Ifcher and I have noticed though is that these studies has tended to pull together surveys over the 20, 30 and even 40 year period that contain questions on parents happiness and measure the presence of number of kids in the household; then estimate the relationship between kids’ and parents’ happiness.
“That kind of practice misses the important point, which is that effect of kids in 1970 is likely to be very different from the effect of kids on parents happiness today.”
CHRIS M. HERBST, Because the state of parenting and the state of policy as it relates to children is very different today as compared to several decades ago. It’s likely that the effects of kids on parents happiness is very different today. So what we’ve done in our paper is to look at the trend in parents happiness over 20-30 year period and compare that trend to the trend in happiness among those without children.
“ And what we find is that over the last several decades parents become relatively happier than non-parents.”
So why do we see the increase in parental happiness now? Guess (hypothesis) number one: is that over time (in US at least) the social policy landscape has evolved to favour households with children. The tax benefits that you receive, if you have a child in the household, are much greater today that they were 30 years ago. So today we have something in US that is called the Child Tax Credit or The Earn Income Tax Credit. It existed a couple of decades ago, but it’s substantially more generous today.
”In a sense of economic perspective, it’s become lot less costly to have kids today, than it was 30 years ago, in part because of the increase generosity of the social policy.” Second hypothesis is that, it is informed by some data that we’ve analyzed, children maybe one of the remaining vestiges of community, in american life. It is to say that out of home community ties have frayed in the US over the last several decades, people are less likely to join clubs, hang out with friends or to participate in politics. Conversely, there is a lot of evidence to suggest that parents spent a lot more time with their kids, than they did several decades ago. Our hypothesis is that this increased investment in kids (or time spent with kids) could be a growing source of happiness for parents.
”That it is one of the remaining sources of community life for parents in US.” And we actually find that in our data, so those without kids (non-parents) are lot less likely to be interested in politics, to invest in keeping up with the news, to get together with friends and family, to be socially trusting. And we think the lynch-pin of that remaining sens of optimism among parents really reside with the kids.
How accurate your findings reflect the reality? I have many friends who has kids, many of my students who are parents, many of my colleagues are parents. You’re very hard pressed to get a parent to admit that they’re are less happy after having a kid. In fact if I were to rely just on my friends and colleagues alone, the evidence would suggest very strongly that everybody is much happier as a result of having children, but the data are not as optimistic about that. Having a kid in a household is tough, it’s a 24/7 job, that requires a lot of intellectual energy, a lot of emotional energy, and heck of a lot financial resources. So at the very least we can say that they’re not becoming more unhappy, nor they becoming a whole lot happier.
Assistant Professor at School of Public Affairs, Arizona State University
39
the mo perspective what is
on having kids?
ther’s 41
are modern moms getting
lazier?
Moms’ ‘laziness’ has increased seriously over the past 45 years. It is imagined that it may be the greatest public health crisis facing the world today. Mothers have become more and more physically inactive, sedentary, and in a result get obese.
Inactivity will continue to be one of the leading causes of morbidity and mortality in the world. 43
50 hours per week
How moms’ lifestyle has changed?
40
30
Weekly time spent on
physical activity 20
10
Weekly time spent on
sedentary actions
1960s
1970s
1980s
1990s
weekly calories burned
by mothers of little and big kids mothers with kids age 0-5 mothers with older kids 6-18
54%
middle-aged women
believe in
8000 kcal
“emotional infertility�
7000 kcal
6000 kcal
women are not sure whether they ever
wanted to start
a family
medical profession says that
5000 kcal
the best time
to conceive is before
4000 kcal 60s
70s 80s 90s
2005
35
2010
22%
disagreed with their partners
about when to have a baby
2005
36%
2010
10%
of women said that they had
IVF
and they reported paying
$11,400for it 45
Mothers who breastfeed are at significantly lower
risk of developing
breast cancer, hypertension and suffering heart attacks than women who do not.
breastf e eding choices and changes
stopped after one week
women in Canada who exclusively breastfed for 6 months 2003 2005 2007 2008 2009
17.2% 20.4% 21.0% 25.1% 24.4%
how long Canadian mothers decided to breastfeed? (Canada 2009)
“breastfeeding was unappealing or disgusting”
“bottle feeding was easier”
breastfed for more than a year
stopped after one month
breastfed for six months or longer
medical factors
(e.g., C-section, premature birth, multiple birth, or medical condition of mother or baby)
what was
the main
reason to not breastfeed?
breastfed exclusively for > 6 months +
breastfed exclusively for < 6 months
did not breastfeed married / common-in-law post secondary education 30 years and over
who are
the moms that
50%
decided to
60%
breastfeed?
70% 80%
51%
42%
90%
26%
100%
17% within last decade, in Canada, number
of moms breastfeeding
longer had risen
2003
2011-2012
6 months or more
2003
2011-2012
4 months or more
whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in it for
fathe
rs?
dads start off with higher risk
of depression
68%
Studies found that young dads who had
their first baby at age 25,
during first 5 years
showed a rise of irritation, anger, impulsivity and ol wenergyat
5-10% dads have
POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION
21% 16%
depression trend among
first-time fathers
10%
3% childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s age:
1
4
8
12
is fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s poor life/work balance a reason for depression?
45%
Fathers today spend more than
twice as much
time doing housework as they did in the 1960s
of fathers said that they had to quit their job, reduce work hours and/or turn down the promotion
to take care of a child.
33% say
they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have enough time with
their children.
a number of hours
47
an average dad works per week.
55
HAVING LITTLE ONES CAN MAKE YOU FEEL EXHAUSTED!
enjoy this break now, because there is more coming...
non-fathers
fathers
tend to be
happier! satisfaction 10
8
6
4
2
vs. fathers in different life aspects safety standard of living health achieving relationships community security 2
4
6
8
10 59
100% wage paid
BRAZIL RUSSIA
INDIA
SOUTH KOREA
NETHERLANDS
SPAIN
MEXICO GERMANY FRANCE
AUSTRALIA INDONESIA CHINA
280 days
90%
80%
wage paid
wage paid
ITALY
UNITED KINGDOM
SWITZERLAND
70% wage paid
TURKEY
60%
JAPAN
wage paid
CANADA
SAUDI ARABIA
HOW LONG PARENTS CAN STAY WITH THEIR NEWBORNS AT HOME?
50% wage paid
365 - 160 days
UK ITALY RUSSIA AUSTRALIA BRAZIL CANADA TURKEY FRANCE NETHERLANDS SPAIN JAPAN GERMANY SWITZERLAND SOUTH KOREA CHINA INDONESIA INDIA MEXICO SAUDI ARABIA 150-130 120-110 100-90 80-50
have you ever
wondered how much of their wage parents
are paid when
taking time off to take care of their new born baby?
From your professional perspective, how does having children affect mothers’ health? The experience of parenthood is a life changing one. The American Psychological Association estimates that 9-16% of women will experience Postpartum Depression (PPD). This is more likely to affect women who have previously struggled with depression or anxiety, or those with limited social support and significant life stressors (ie. financial hardship). It is also important to note that mothers of preterm infants are at a much higher risk for PPD.
“I have seen many mothers struggle with guilt regarding being a “good” mom, and whether or not they meet the standards they believe society has set up for them.” Are there any positive or/and negative effects on fathers’ health? It is interesting to note that men and women experience the birth of an infant differently. Many men feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility, although this is often coupled with pride. It is common for men to feel “left out” of the experience with a newborn baby. In the longer term, men often struggle with the change to their marital dynamics and lack of time for themselves.
STEPHANIE FOSTER, As with women, men often struggle with balancing the demands of work and family. They often feel a tremendous sense of responsibility to provide for the family, but at the same time they feel pressured to spend time at home.
“Parenthood has a greater impact on men now than it may have a generation ago, as men are now expected to play a major role in child-rearing.”
“Most parents do feel that raising children provides a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives.” From your personal experience, how has being a parent affected your wellbeing? I believe that the experience of parenthood is a very personal one, and is largely determined by one’s circumstances. I was very fortunate to avoid “toxic stress”, which is characterized by strong and frequent adversity. Research clearly indicates that toxic stress has deleterious effects on parents and children. Personally, I found the infant period to be the most stressful, and my sense of well-being was significantly lower for the first 4-5 months of my child’s life. I believe that this was primarily due to a lack of sleep and the demands of infant care. Further, I did not have an “easy” baby; my child was extremely fussy for the first 4 months of her life. Once she settled down between 4-6 months and began to sleep more, I found that my well-being increased significantly. In general, I have found that my sense of parental happiness and well-being has increased as my child has gotten older.
“The experience of parenthood has permanently altered my state of mind. I have a tremendous sense of responsibility and duty that is with me at all times.” Does having children make parents happier? Please explain. A number of studies have shown that parenthood results in a significant decrease in marital satisfaction. These studies also show that the pre-child levels of happiness do not return until the children have left home. The current research suggests that having children is stressful on a day-to-day basis, however, most parents do feel that raising children provides a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. It would seem, then, that having children may produce more long-term satisfaction.
Registered Psychologist, Calgary 65
So what do I think? Finally we come to the end of this long and overwhelming journey, through positive and negative sides of the problem. Is having kids bad for your health then? After spending many hours researching how this complex problem touches many people all over the world, I still find it hard to simply pick a side. The purpose of this book is to bring all the arguments together to help analyze what health problems parents face everyday when performing parenting duty. We realize that depression and stress are common negative sides of parenting. A huge percentage of the population faces that problem, especially new parents, when theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re lost and donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a lot of support. On the other side of this discussion we clearly see that moms and dads see life as more meaningful and purposeful when they care for their kids. Many researchers suggest that parents are happier with their relationship and within the community, than childless adults. The happiness levels spike in the long term when people decide to become parents. This book made me more aware of everyday struggles parents face when caring for their little ones. As a parent myself, after all the research I went through, I realized that having kids may cause serious mental and physical problems, however I still highly value happiness much more than the temporary sleepless nights. 67
thanks to: Stephanie Foster, Chris M.Herbst, Thomas Porostocky, Rita Sasges
bibliography “Committee Opinion No. 570.” Obstetrics & Gynecology 122.2, PART 1 (2013): 423-27. Web. Deater-Deckard, Kirby. Parenting Stress. New Haven, CT, USA: Yale University Press, 2004. ProQuest ebrary. Web. 25 September 2014. Garfield, Craig F., MD, Greg Duncan, PhD, Joshua Rutsohn, MPH, Thomas McDade, PhD, Emma K. Adam, PhD, Rebekah Levine Coley, PhD, and P. Lindsay Chase-Lansdale, PhD. “A Longitudinal Study of Paternal Mental Health During Transition to Fatherhood as Young Adults.” Pediatrics 133.5 (2014): 836-43. Web. 25 Sept. 2014. Hagen, E. W., A. G. Mirer, M. Palta, and P. E. Peppard. “The Sleep-Time Cost of Parenting: Sleep Duration and Sleepiness Among Employed Parents in the Wisconsin Sleep Cohort Study.” American Journal of Epidemiology 177.5 (2013): 394-401. Web. Herbst , Chris M., John Ifcher. “The Increasing Happiness of Parents“. Economics Department of Leavey School of Business. 2014. Print. Holt-Lunstad, Julianne, Wendy Birmingham, Adam M. Howard, and Dustin Thoman. “Married With Children: The Influence of Parental Status and Gender on Ambulatory Blood Pressure.” Annals of Behavioral Medicine 38.3 (2009): 170-79. Web. Nicole L. Gilbert “Flowers for Mom, a Tie for Dad: Doing Gender on Mother’s and Father’s Day,” Parr, Nick. “Satisfaction with Life as Antecedent of Fertility: Partner +Happiness = Chil dren?” Demographic Research 22.21 (2010): 63562. 16 Apr. 2010. Web. 15 Sept. 2014. Peri, Camille. “10 Things to Hate About Sleep Loss.” Webmd. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 Sept. 2014. Sneed, R. S., S. Cohen, R. B. Turner, and W. J. Doyle. “Parenthood and Host Resistance to the Common Cold.” Psychosomatic Medicine 74.6 (2012): 567-73. Web. The Committee on Depression, Parenting Practices, and the Healthy Development of Children. Depression in Parents, Parenting, and Children : Opportunities to Improve Identification, Treatment, and Prevention. Washington, DC, USA: National Academies Press, 2009. ProQuest ebrary. Web. 25 September 2014. University of South Carolina. “US mothers from 1965 to 2010: more TV, less housework.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 2 December 2013. <www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/12/131202134810.htm>.
69
â&#x20AC;&#x153;Yes, having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.â&#x20AC;? Bill Cosby,
Fatherhood
Monika Collins @ 2014
monika_collins@icloud.com