Keeping it Real

WRITTEN BY BLAIR FJESETH

You know those moments when your child says something out loud in front of someone that completely mortifies you? I’ll pause here while you process the flashbacks of this exact thing happening to you over the years.

We recently had one of those “moments” with our 6-year-old that made me want to crawl into the cold earth and lie there until summer.

I’ve always been very open with my children; I try to approach the “uncomfortable stuff” early, and often, to make it less uncomfortable and hopefully lead to better communication.

We talk about body parts, how bodies change, why they change and what those changes look like. We take special care to talk about body boundaries and what to do if someone crosses those boundaries. Perhaps I hadn’t realized this approach had made our kids extremely comfortable talking about “all things body” until last Friday night.

When a board member at the company I work for (who is also a mentor of mine) sent me a text saying she would love to play grandma and watch the kids so my husband and I could have a night out, I quickly replied, “What time can I drop them?” Clearly, it had been a while since I’d had a night sans kids.

We dropped the kids off, she greeted them as any grandma would with cookies and games in abundance. I knew they needed a night away from parents just as badly as we needed a night to ourselves. The pandemic has been brutal on all parents. And as we emerge from the nasty grips of COVID, I am seeing how grateful we are to have a village of parenting support.

I am sure you all know the feeling, but I cannot express how great it is to spend time uninterrupted with your spouse at a nice restaurant surrounded by other adults and no children. After our meal, we arrived at stand-in-grandma’s house to pick up our kids. Upon walking in, I asked, “How was your night? Did you have fun?”

Then it happened. My 6-year-old looked up at me and said clear as day in front of everyone, “Mom, I had the best time, and she didn’t even ask to see my penis.”

Long pause.

Awkward eye glances.

Weird adult giggling.

My husband was as mortified as I was, but smartly, he escaped the moment by quickly grabbing all the coats and shoes and ushering our kids to the car.

It’s been a week since the incident. I still laugh thinking about it, which is every day so far. To say that moment was embarrassing would be an understatement. I wonder what she thought we told him ahead of time? I wonder if she thinks we are bad parents for being too transparent with our children.

All I know is that I will never forget that night for so many reasons. The innocence my son still has that I wish would always remain, the way we’ve been steadfast in our “you can tell us anything” style of parenting, the look on her face, the way my pasta felt less secure in my stomach the moment he said those words. It was a moment for sure. A cringe-worthy moment that I will treasure forever.

Blair Fjeseth is a working professional and proud Montana mom. You can reach her at blairparker.inc@gmail.com. Follow her Instagram @blair_mt for more adventures.