Keeping it Real

WRITTEN BY BLAIR FJESETH

I’ve been off social media for some time now. I don’t have Facebook, Twitter or TikTok and I deleted Instagram from my phone two years ago. My page was still public, but I just revisited it last week when I decided to get back on the platform because the news of my role as CEO of Mountain Health CO-OP had been made public (did I mention I’m a CEO now?!). I wanted to make sure I responded and thanked well-wishers promptly without coming off as rude or, as the kids say, “ghosting.”

It took roughly 45 minutes to redownload the app, attempt several passwords, try to reset failed passwords, get a code emailed to reset the password and a separate code to verify I was the “right” recipient of the original code. I was about to put my home and children up for collateral when the college intern offered to help me. I would have turned down the offer (I am a millennial, after all), but desperate times call for desperate measures. I swallowed my pride and accepted her help.

She snatched the phone and, within what felt like a nanosecond, had me back up and running. As she returned my phone, I couldn’t help but feel that behind her smile was a “You think you are going to run this company and can’t even log into Instagram” sentiment. “Well, young lady, yes, I am going to do that,” I said sheepishly to no one but the sassier version of myself that lives only in my head.

I retreated to my office, pulled out my phone and clicked eagerly on the little pink and orange ombre square, only to find they had changed everything about the platform. Blast you, you young cool Instagram programmers!

I was about to walk back for help with the navigational part of the reemergence when I thought about the times my grandma would call and ask “why the Google kept changing” and thought better of it.

I spent the afternoon getting reacquainted with the feeds and features and responding to the unchecked messages. Then, I spent several more hours (several being a gross understatement) scrolling through hilarious and helpful reels. When my eyes couldn’t take the blue light anymore, I pushed my limits and scrolled down memory lane to the thousands of adorable baby photos of my children throughout the years.

I got a taste of how social media feels after a brain reset, and it felt good— too good. And then that feeling turned to FOMO and, dare I say, jealousy of others? If it sounds silly to read, imagine how silly I feel writing it.

I found myself mindlessly picking up my phone and clicking that little sherbet-colored square for a “hit,” and I realized the same effect that was causing my brain to release this massive amount of dopamine is what my kids feel when they are attached to their devices.

While my kids don’t have social media, they do have screen time; they play mild video games (no violence). I began thinking about how to protect them now and into the future as their reliance on screens grows or the societal pressure to keep up with the times prevails. We live in a world of screens, and I wouldn’t or couldn’t keep my kids off of them. But the urge to be more mindful about the screen limits I’ve never really paid mind to is now at the forefront of my mind.

As much as I want this to be an advice column, it’s more of a “Help me, please” column. What have you found that works in your home with your kids? How do you find balance? Let me know so we can share it with the Montana Parent community. You’ll have to email me, because since this experience, I have permanently deleted the platforms.

Blair Fjeseth is a working professional and proud Montana mom. You can reach her at blairparker.inc@gmail.com.