Beyond the Weather

Opening up about mental health issues in rural areas

WRITTEN BY REBECCA COLNAR PHOTOS COURTESY OF BEYOND THE WEATHER

Courtney Brown Kibblewhite understands how tough ranch life can be and has always been. Her ancestors left a more comfortable life to make a home in Montana. One of her several great aunts wrote about the experience in the classic book, A Bride Goes West describing pioneer life.

“I think we tend to be very proud of our ancestors and how they lived on the frontier where there was no medical care and often not even friends,” said Courtney. “Even today in rural areas, we are proud that we often get by without medical clinics. We can take care of ourselves. However, that can work against us with mental health. Often those same rural people think they can struggle through a mental health crisis alone.”

Several years ago, Courtney and the group at Northern Ag Network developed an online resource called Beyond the Weather.

“We came up with that name because it addresses the fact that in agriculture, it is so easy to talk about the weather as it is universal and a part of our livelihood,” Courtney said. “However, we need to go further than that. We need to talk about the hard stuff, whether it’s a death or going through difficult times with a teen. It related to the fact that part of mental health is helping each other and going deeper than how many inches of rain you got or didn’t get.”

Courtney, the vice president for Northern Broadcasting (which includes her family business, Northern Ag Network) said sharing vulnerability with your children is essential. “Talk about the tough times, let your kids know what is going on,” she said. “Share with them things like the struggles you had as a teen, whether it was learning to drive or challenges in school. I look back at our family and wish I could hear from those who are gone. I want to ask them how they survived those hard times; how did they deal with foreclosures?”

She believes in sharing your trials with your kids and telling them it’s OK not to be perfect.

“As they say, it’s not being tough that counts but toughing it out. Part of toughing it out is finding someone to help you through that hard time,” she added. “Don’t pretend it is OK to try to push through it.”

Courtney noted that although it’s difficult to admit that you may be struggling with the effects of the drought and don’t want to let your family down if you can’t make the loan payments, it’s important to share that with others so you know you’re not alone in the world.

Courtney said that through raising livestock, children get to experience the realities of life and death, and that it’s natural to feel sad when an animal dies.

“In our family, the Christian faith is good in that it provides a way to explain some of those harder things.”

An especially difficult aspect of farming and ranching is having one’s identity intermingled with your career, your home and your lifestyle, which can be especially detrimental if you lose that asset. Does that mean you are worthless and you are a nobody? Of course not, but it is often why those who raise our food fall into depression if they can no longer farm or ranch.

“At Northern Ag Network, we address the stigma of mental health issues and normalize them by talking about them,” said Courtney.

Beyond the Weather offers a resource for rural folks to receive free counseling, thanks to grants from the Montana and Wyoming Departments of Agriculture.

“In rural America we need to be our best physically and mentally, so we’re happy to help people have that conversation,” Courtney said.

The mother of two (a 4-year-old and 7-year-old) said that although her older brother has the family ranch, the heritage of ranching has been passed down to the kids, and she wants her children to realize they are valued for who they are.

“As a mother, I think about a growth mindset versus a fixed one. Don’t put your kids in a box. Assure them that you can see how hard they are trying to do a good job. Be careful about the language you use as it can be vital to raising kids who are resilient.”

Rebecca Colnar is Director of Public Relations for Montana Farm Bureau and a freelance writer from Custer, Montana.