Will You Be My Friend?

WRITTEN BY ALI SCHWEITZER

Moving to a new place is hard, especially if you don’t know anyone. Finding friends can be even harder. It can be difficult to find those with similar interests, who have kids, or don’t have kids, and who you genuinely get along with. It can be overwhelming just knowing where to start and, if you have a family and a job, it may feel like you just don’t have the time.

Believe me, I know. When I moved here 10 years ago, I was 27 weeks pregnant and didn’t know a soul, except for my husband. With a baby on the way and a new business, we quickly learned that we didn’t have the time, nor did we know where to start looking for friends. We were entering a new chapter in our lives with our first baby on the way, and hitting up the local pub or brewery just didn’t work the way it used to. With us both wrapped up in our new business and settling into that, we were also exhausted and didn’t have the energy to go out after work and do the things that had always made it easy for us to find friends in the past. It was a new stage in life, but the harder we worked and the more we stayed at home, the more we realized we needed to find good friends.

As an extrovert, I didn’t take long to realize that I needed to get out and meet people. My job created a great opportunity for me to talk to people and learn about the fun things for a pregnant woman or new mom to do around Bozeman. As a pregnancy and pediatric chiropractor, I am lucky to have patients who talk about all the things they liked to do and places they liked to go when they come into my office. It was nice that some of them became my friends, but I still felt like I had to get out and make my own.

My husband likes to joke that our weekends were spent doing what we loved and me constantly on the lookout for people that seemed fun. He was always mortified when I would start talking to someone and if we were getting along, I would ask them if they would be my friend. Yep, just straight up say, “I like you. Can we be friends and can I have your number?” I know that may sound a bit crazy, but at the time it was what worked for me. And while my contacts may still have names and (parentheses) around them with a note about where we met or something to remember them by, I still have quite a few of those “random” people that are a part of my village.

Once our son was born, I felt like making friends was even harder. I now had a new baby and trying to find the balance between that and having time for myself was a struggle. Again, my patients would remind me of all the wonderful playgroups, bible studies, mom meet-ups and other various activities that catered to mom and baby. What did I do? Well, I tried them all. Yep, again my husband thought I was crazy, but I would pack up our son and do all the things. And while some were better places than others to make friends, they all helped me meet people and bond with my baby. While I never made a new friend at Books and Babies at the library, my son and I still went every Tuesday and Thursday mornings, because it was great to get out of the house and watch him in that setting. I did make tons of friends at MommiesRfit and got a good workout in as well. And going to weekly MOPS groups was what my soul needed to reconnect to myself.

Now, 10 years later—despite knowing no one when we first moved here—I have a village. I have great friends that I call family and, of course, I am always looking for more. As my kids grow and make friends, so do my husband and I, and I still like to embarrass my husband now and again by straight up asking someone new that I’ve clicked with to be my friend.

My patients also still keep me up to date on all the new mommy-and-me groups, and even though I am done having kids, I love that our community is still very much connecting new people to new friends.

Here are just a few of the many groups out there to help you make new friends, whatever stage of life you are in:

• Bozeman and Belgrade Public Libraries

• Roots Family Collaborative

• Girl Get After It Bozeman

• Sky Oro

• The Mom Walk Collective Bozeman

• Mommy and Me Bozeman

• MommiesRfit

All of these organizations can be found on good old Google, Facebook and Instagram. Many will lead you to even more groups as well. I also know there are many more than I mentioned, but that’s a start.

So, get out there, join some groups and don’t be afraid to ask the question…Hey, will you be my friend?

Dr. Ali Schweitzer is owner and chiropractor at Active Family Chiropractic & Wellness. As a busy mom of two she knows it’s sometimes hard to get out there, but having a few good friends really makes it easier!