Foodie Diaries

FOODIE DIARIES AroUND toWN When it comes to dining, this city never sleeps

By Jim Ayres

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, MONTROSE STAR readers! I’m writing this at 5 p.m. on Tuesday, November 3. Tat means shortly afterward, we’ll either still have much to be thankful for, or a whole bursting-at-the-seams horn o’plenty to rejoice and be thankful for.

Just a few notes about dining around town as I gear up for the “I’ll have seconds and thirds” guzzle fest that is the holiday season.

Perry’s pork chop: Delivered

If I’m honest, the last few months have not been a complete culinary blowout for me. Surgeries, work and COVID have co-conspired to keep me sedentary, so I’m not eating as much as I could. But that Perry’s promotional email reached out from my inbox and grabbed me. Fifty percent of that famous pork chop? I couldn’t resist. Of course, I didn’t expect that it would be as fne a specimen as what I’d get in their dining room. But not only was I pleasantly surprised, the big hulking thing was exactly what would be served at the restaurant. Warm, juicy, thick with delicious meat, this chop made me giddy that I was carving it in my own kitchen. And it was delicious. Easily enough for two or even three meals. Te wedge salad and whipped potatoes were also frst rate. To repeat my experience, order the Autumn 3-Course Dinner for $45. It’s well worth the splurge. On the other end of the spectrum If you’re a DoorPass member (that’s DoorDash’s loyalty program) you get free

Heights Asian Café Perry’s Pork Chop

delivery from most restaurants with a $12 order. A few restaurants don’t participate, and that unfortunately includes Te Burger Joint. But a block away, the Hay Merchant does. I ordered the Cease and Desist burger, with Underbelly’s famous Vinegar Pie for dessert. Hay Merchant, you can do a lot better than the burned 45 rpm single of a patty delivered to me. Friends, it was awful — and this coming from a place that has won numerous media (or should I say PR) awards for that very burger. Te Vinegar Pie, as always, was magnifcent. I’ve always wondered how they make that glorious layer of amber sugar glass that goes between the flling and the crust. I looked it up, and let’s just say, I’ll let the pastry chef continue making it for me. An unexpected treat Two Sunday evenings ago, I did make it out to Heights Asian Café (2201 Yale) to meet friends for dinner. Te bounty here was excellent. We started with Pork Lettuce Wraps (fun to assemble, fun to eat). Te big iceberg lettuce leaves were as crisp as could be, and the ground pork glistened with a sauce that brought forth deep umami favor. A vermicelli bowl, full of chicken, vegetables, noodles and broth, was the most comforting dish I’ve had in many months. It was certainly enough for two, but I slurped the whole bowl down with complete joy and no guilt. Really, it’s an extremely healthy dish! Tanks for reading! Who knows what I’ll have for you in my holiday column, but it’s sure to be tantalizing. e

Hay Merchant’s Cease and Desist Burger

EXCITED FOR BRUNCH? SO ARE WE!

SUNDAY BRUNCH 11AM - 3PM

MY LIFE BEHIND BARS pArt eIGht ‘The Horror! The Horror!’ A recollection of Halloweens past

By Randall Jobe

IN OUR GAY WORLD OF “THROW ON A costume at the chipping of a manicured nail” or “I saw this bed sheet and had to turn it into a Dior knockof,” the very idea that Halloween could be cancelled by a world-wide pandemic is a reason to scream. Bottom line, queens love Halloween. A national gay holiday, it’s worshipped like gay Pride and Judy Garland’s birthday. Te thought of not adding the word “sexy” to any number of costumes (sexy cop, sexy freman, sexy deli counter worker) is equivalent to being told you shouldn’t kiss strangers. Horrifying!

After years of working in the bars, I estimate that I have celebrated at least 30 Halloweens over a minimum 60 terrorflled nights. In the bar business you milk Halloween like a cow, regardless if how sore her teats might be. It’s standard to celebrate the weekend and multiple days before the actual Halloween. Any attempt to stretch it to the day after is, well, sacrilege. Sometimes

it encompasses fve nights of too much bad drag and enough bare fesh to circle the globe twice, leaving a comet trail of glitter. In the clubs, we love a good theme. However, at times, even with collective minds, it can be Whitney-Houstondancing lame. One multiple celebration the big boss ignored the staf’s creative suggestions and mandated an idea that came to him after too many sleeping pills and chocolate. “Night of a Tousand Britney’s” was born to honor the queen-of-the-moment pop star. It fell over a measly three nights and I, not being one to repeat a costume, was panic-stricken. If there ever was a person who should not dress as a big-titted, pouty-mouthed, bleachedto-flth blonde, it was me. But, always the trouper, I put together versions of a young, a middle-aged and an old Britney’s. Young Britney was my crowning glory. I recreated one of her album covers complete with a bare midrif and an entire shaved upper body and held my stomach in for six agonizing hours. You know a theme stinks when there are 50 employees in similar costumes and the customer mantra all night is, “Who are you supposed to be?” I’m supposed to be polite to the customers, but screw that, screw you and screw this theme. Happy f*cking Halloween. Of course, it wasn’t all bad. Tere did come a certain pleasure seeing sexy doctors, sexy super heroes and countless gay boys attempting to be sexy girls. Te lesbians, not so much. It’s disheartening to compliment a plaid-covered lesbian of her construction worker’s costume only to discover it’s her daily attire. My bad. And if RuPaul had been passing judgment on the countless beauty school dropouts, he would have a bevy of beauty wannabe’s sashaying away. I worked for one occasionally benevolent owner who watched a young queen wearing a single mattress with arm and neck holes and oversized ears dashing as fast as the costume allowed across the packed street. He said, “Everyone thinks they’re a winner.” “Yeah, and most think they have an above average penis,” I said.

I spent two decades emceeing multiple costume contests, indoors on a microphone and outdoors on a screeching megaphone. Te street would be closed and dozens of optical disasters would trounce across a wobbly makeshift stage, vying for trophies and often substantial cash prizes. At one outdoor contest, the brown-nosing owner told me that a local Senator known for attending “the opening of an envelope” was going to say a few (yeah, right) words to the crowd. He shook a fnger at me and

said, “No funny business. Introduce her. Let her speak. Tank her. Nothing more!” After her not-so-brief words fell on deaf ears and over-painted faces, I thanked her and added, “Hand her a trophy, ’cause that’s the best Sheila Jackson-Lee you’re gonna see tonight!” I caught the owner’s death stare and bulging purple neck vein threatening to blow. Fellow employees used to be convinced that I would someday infuriate him to the point the vein would burst. Unfortunately, it was not that day. I lived to celebrate many more festive Halloweens watching the enthusiastic, creative and Stranger Tings concepts that continued to surprise. Leave it to a queen to put lipstick on a pig and call it Cher. Boo, bitches! e

The Boys in the Band

MONTROSE STAR.COM

ACROSS THE CAUSEWAY Let us all give thanks

By Forest Riggs

THE ELECTION IS OVER! AFTER MANY LONG months of mud-slinging, vitriol-infused speeches and ideologies that shock the very core of most folks’ understanding of democracy and how it is supposed to work, a new president has been elected by a majority vote. As this column is being written before Election Day, at this point I am unsure as to how it came out.

One thing I am sure of, no matter who won, America must heal from this horrible election year’s societal destruction and get back to doing what we do best: moving forward in a positive and cohesive manner. I feel pretty correct in saying that most all of gay Galveston supports Mr. Biden for a multitude of reason that are near and dear to the LGBT communities around the country: samesex marriage, SCOTUS judge nominations, health care, education and the economy. Te two major presidential candidates could not be farther apart in their ideas and future plans regarding these and other issues.

During this election process (which, by the way, takes entirely too long in our country), Americans have essentially stepped into another quagmire—a Civil War, of sorts; it’s not the North against the South, but Democrat against Republican. I have seen friendships erode, faiths questioned, basic human rights challenged, political correctness used to the point of becoming sickening, actions (on both sides) that heretofore would have been criminal and perhaps inhumane, simply over looked or accepted as the new norm for America. Te news media, social media and other forms of communication have swelled the “battle” into monumental proportions. No one has remained unafected in this election.

It’s true, there were some major issues at stake with this election and the person that was elected by a majority vote now faces huge obstacles and hurdles if they are to efectively govern these non-united United States. We have now, after a great battle, swum into the murky waters of yet another Reconstruction.

THE GAY-ETY STARTS HERE! Wednesday November 11, 2020 e VOL. XI, 17

Can it happen and will it be successful is the great than the issues. Folks watching the debates, hoping question of next several years. So much anger, hatred, to hear candidates expound on the their plans for bigotry, divisiveness and downright meanness has the future regarding great issues of concern, were been birthed, re-birthed and spread that our country treated instead to a battle between two people simply is in a very pivotal situation. Perhaps, in the past, trying to outshine the other; of course, people took when we have only placed Band-Aids over deep and sides based on just how the candidate came across old wounds, the scabs have been picked of and the as a person. Oh, there was some occasional talk festering carbuncles of society’s ills are once again around a real issue, but it never evolved into to real open and oozing their poison. We see these, they “how to” answers and ideas for problem solving. are real; now must act to fnally heal these ills. Tis Well, the deed is done. Te votes have been cast election year has shown us that as great as we think and a president has been elected. Now what do we we are, there is still great work to be done and a do? It is critical at this point that we come together as great deal of it in areas of basic human rights. Americans, support our elected leader, show solidarity

LGBT communities across the continent have long to the now doubting world and work hard to move been aware of the disparities and disenfranchisement forward in a positive direction. Oh, there will be sh*t, that is found throughout these United States, and you can bank on it: hearings, challenges, investigations, the world. Te LGBT communities and their allies more bi-partisan bickering and roadblocks in Congress have long advocated for unity, acceptance, equal based on who won, rather than what is best for our country. All of this only serves to slow the process of working toward common goals that we all have and feel are important for America. We have moved many years past that original Tanksgiving when our ancestors sat down, united and gave thanks for all they had achieved and accomplished. Faced with the most difcult circumstances and challenges imaginable, they still managed to come together and with feelings of gratefulness and pride, share their meal and rejoice. Tis is what we must do now. Put aside diferences, barriers, anger-fed ideologies and come together with respect and acknowledgement for our accomplishments and unite in our plan to go forward, healing Image via SpaTech the wounds in our nation. Te meal can be symbolic, however the rejoicing must take place rights and fairness to be the common practice of our Democratic nation rather than anger, hatred and division. We have worked hard, on all levels, toward this common goal and have witnessed changes both great and small. Just like within the political arena of the United States, within the LGBT communities there exists some polarization and diferences in ideology, tactics, delivery and representation. Te conduit, or glue, is the desire to better our society and improve the quality of life for all. Many tracks lead to the top of the mountain; the important thing is to get there. Sadly, with the aid of media, this recent election process complete with failed debates, missed and from it, dreams and wishes become reality. Tanksgiving is a very special holiday and one that enables people to make memories and come together, sharing and uniting, not dividing and battling. Tis is the message of the holiday that we must each remember every year, but especially this year. LGBT folks love to gather on this day and share food, drink and love. We have done it forever and must continue to do it — albeit masked and safely socially distanced. We remain strongest when we are united in our common goals. Let’s get back to celebrating what is good and makes us strong. Happy Tanksgiving. e opportunities, denials and constant defections focused A resident of Galveston where he can be found wasting bait and searching for the meaning of life, Forest more on the personalities of those involved, rather Riggs recently completed a collection of short stories about his beloved island and is working on a novel.