Editorial

OP-ED Creep of the Week One Million Moms

e By D’Anne Witkowski

AMERICAN GIRL DOLLS ARE pretty ubiquitous these days. Tese expensive dolls have an endless collection of accessories and outfts that your stimulus check won’t even come close to buying. Tere are also books. So many books. Te dolls have their own history and backstory and kids apparently really dig it. Sounds pretty innocent.

But it is NOT.

Or so say the One Million Moms group that is throwing a ft over Kira, the new American Girl doll. Apparently American Girl chooses a Girl of the Year each year and makes said girl into a doll? And there’s a book that goes a long with the doll. Kira is the Girl of 2021 and in her book she travels to Australia to help work at a wildlife sanctuary where she gets to bottle feed Koala bears and stuf.

Kira’s transgression? She has lesbian aunts in Australia. Two ladies. Married. To each other! All Kira dolls must be rounded up thrown into a fre in the town square! May they melted down and then used to make something wholesome, like a doll that is actually a Bible.

One Million Moms, which does not actually have one million members, is livid. Tey are now boycotting American Girl until they do the right thing and kill of Kira’s lesbian aunts in the next book.

Oh, wait. I have that wrong. Tey want the aunts GONE. NOW. Like, burn the books gone. In the One Million Moms petition they plead, “Please stick to making innocent dolls and books appropriate for any and all ages and refrain from making political and social statements. I urge American Girl to discontinue its storyline that includes Kira’s two lesbian aunts – immediately.” You hear that? IMMEDIATELY! Of with their heads. “I’m not buying into your social agenda to push homosexuality,” the Moms continue. “Your ‘2021 Girl of the Year’ Kira Bailey storyline ofends me and many other Christians and conservative families. Your company did not even include a warning so parents would have a heads-up.” I’m trying to imagine what such a warning would look like: “Rated LA for Lesbian Aunts” or “Parental Advisory: Existence of Lesbians.” Apparently the Million Moms are upset about some racy illustrations in the book. Come on, Million Moms, I’m sure they’re tasteful nudes. “Within the frst few pages of Chapter 1,” the Moms say, “Kira Down Under includes an illustrated picture of the two women walking down the aisle at their wedding.” Oh, OK so no nudes then? Just two ladies at their wedding? SCANDALOUS. “Tis irresponsible storyline is dangerous to the well-being of our children,” they claim. It’s exhausting, frankly, to have group like One Million Moms claim that the very existence of LGBTQ people is a threat to children. It’s also astonishing to me that they think if their children never learn about lesbian aunts then they can never become lesbian aunts. Or lesbian uncles for that matter. Kira’s book also deals with the topic of climate change, something a lot of those One Million Moms probably also find objectionable. Everyone knows that globe warming is a hoax and that forest fres are started by Jewish space lasers (if that doesn’t make sense to you, Google it or ask U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene).

One Million Moms helpfully points out that “American Girl could have chosen another storyline or characters to write about and remained neutral in the culture war.”

And they’re right! American Girl could have chosen to write about something else. Tey could have chosen to make Kira travel to space to gather moon rocks at the moon rock sanctuary run by her lesbian alien aunts. But something tells me One Million Moms would still fnd something to object about it. You just can’t please everybody. “If your child has not seen this yet,” they warn, “then make sure she is not exposed to this content. Do all you can to avoid a premature conversation that she is far too young to understand.” First of all, young people are often the most understanding of two people who love each other. I remember helping out at a Valentine’s Day party when my son was in Kindergarten. While he and another boy cut out heart shapes the other boy asked him, “How come you have moms but no dad?” To which my son replied, “Because my mom married another mom.” And they went on crafting. “Why can’t the toy manufacturer let kids be kids instead of glamorizing a sinful lifestyle?” they ask on their website. “American Girl is confusing our innocent children by attempting to normalize same-sex marriage.”

It’s really not confusing. Some people are not heterosexual. Tat’s just a fact. And the existence of LGBTQ people is normal. We’re here, we’re queer—no, seriously, we’re right here. I’m a mom. And I’m married to a woman. And we love our son very much and the idea that we’re harming him by being his moms is what’s truly ofensive here. Would a “Fuck of One Million Moms” be ofensive here? Good. e

D’Anne Witkowski is a poet, writer and comedian living in Michigan with her wife and son. She has been writing about LGBTQ politics for over a decade. Follow her on Twitter @MamaDWitkowski. MARCH 3, 2021 | VOL. XI, 23

COOKING WITH PAULA DREAM

Easy, favorful chicken and dip 10

MY LIFE BEHIND BARS

Does anything change? 14

CONTENTS

HRH Report......................................................... 4 OP-ED.................................................................... 5 OP-ED.................................................................... 6 Cooking with Paula Dream .......................... 10 Foodie Diaries................................................... 11 What a World .................................................... 12 My Life Behind Bars ....................................... 14 Across the Causeway.................................... 17 Screen Queen.................................................. 18 Yes, We Cannabis! .......................................... 19 Crossword Queeries..................................... 24 Guide to the Clubs......................................... 26

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CORRECTIONS & AMPLIFICATION

March 3, 2021. None as of press time.

OP-ED Will Texas leaders learn from February 2021 deep freeze?

e By Colby Etherton

AS EXTREME COLD TEMPERATURES hit Texas in February, Texans all around the state experienced blackouts and a water crisis. Being privy to other parts of the country facing worse temperatures year round than we do, many were left wondering how this could have happened. Tere were a multitude of reasons, and sadly, many are inexcusable. Texas’ energy infrastructure is unique in one key aspect: We are largely energy independent, relative to the rest of the country. Te United States has two main energy grids, a western and an eastern interconnection, respectively. Ten there’s the Texas grid. Leaders in Texas pride the state on being energy independent, but sadly, that comes with some consequences when we endure a crisis much like the one we weathered. In national grids that support a multitude of diferent states, when one state is in crisis, energy can be directed for assistance. Texas quite literally being an island when it comes to energy dependency means that it does not have that luxury. Furthermore, Texas’ electrical grid is largely unregulated and does not have to abide by the same standards that the interconnected grids do. According to Alvin Chang of Te Guardian, “some experts say this lack of regulation is why the Texas grid wasn’t properly maintained and, in turn, failed with these stressors.” As temperatures dropped and more people started using electricity for relief, primarily turning their heaters on to stay warm, the huge demand for energy overwhelmed energy sources. Rolling blackouts were instated to prevent generators from going totally ofine (and they were dangerously close to completely being overwhelmed, which would have caused a state-wide blackout for what could have been literal months). Nonetheless, not all of us experienced rolling blackouts where power would go of for only a brief period of time; millions of Texans went days without power. Te unregulated ERCOT, or the Electric Reliability Council of Texas, left many energy systems in Texas not winterized. Although Texas Governor Greg Abbott course-corrected and blamed the failure on a multitude of diferent factors, he initially tried to blame it on wind energy failing. While wind turbines did freeze, the frigid temperatures also took their toll on gas and coal energy sources. Texas uses a diverse mix of natural gas, wind, coal, nuclear, and solar, and its primary source of energy is natural gas. Gov. Abbott’s blaming it on wind comes of as posturing when the reality is that the grids simply couldn’t function under the dire conditions of the storm and the consumer demand that came with that. In addition to the electricity crisis Texans endured, water pipes burst, or water pressure was so low that millions of residents lost water entirely. Many had to draw from water in apartment complex pools to fush toilets, and grocery stores were sold out of bottled water for days. Decreased water pressure allows harmful bacteria to grow quickly in water, causing millions to be on a boil-water notice in order to safely consume water. It was particularly disheartening to see that downtown Houston’s largest buildings retained power, while so much of the city sufered; when in a time of crisis, it is as usual those who are less privileged that endure the brunt of hardship. Tis will not be the last time that Texas endures severe weather conditions, and those conditions will become more frequent the longer that issues like climate change and infrastructure that desperately need to be updated go without being addressed. And while we’re at it, maybe it would be helpful that our leaders don’t fee to Cancun when there’s a statewide emergency. Or perhaps everyone that sits on the board of ERCOT could actually, you know, be residing in the state of Texas. e

STANLEY TUCCI

Is the gayest straight actor you know

STANLEY TUCCI HAS SURVIVED THE ICY DEATH stare of Meryl Streep’s Miranda Priestly and told Cher to her face that she looks like a drag queen. Aside from starring as the queer second-in-command next to those gay icons in “Te Devil Wear Prada” and “Burlesque,” the 60-year-old actor also donned a poofy wig in “Little Chaos” as the king’s gay brother. Te chameleonic actor is at it yet again with his latest gay role — Tusker in “Supernova,” a moving portrait of a couple in crisis written and directed by Harry Macqueen. Here, he portrays a man sufering from early-onset dementia alongside Colin Firth’s Sam, his partner of 20 years. Aboard their old RV, the couple head out on a road trip across the mountainous region of England’s Lake District to visit people and places that are special to them, their love tested as Tusker’s memory continues to deteriorate. During a recent call, Tucci talked about being a straight man who’s been playing gay since 1996, his wife fnding out that the internet thinks he’s gay, and how he can’t believe so many people actually tell him they love “Burlesque.” During the pandemic, I watched “Te Daytrippers,” which came out in 1996, and realized that you’ve been playing gay even longer than I thought. Ha! Tat was my frst gay kiss. I loved that movie so much. (Writer-director) Greg Mottola made that for no money, like $65,000 dollars or something. When it comes to the way the flm treated homosexuality, how do you compare a role like that, as Louis, to your role as Tusker in “Supernova”? What I love about “Supernova” is that sexuality isn’t even an issue. Tey’re just two people who’ve been together in a long relationship for a long time, and they love each other. You could’ve made it with a heterosexual couple, but I think this is more interesting. And the fact that it’s never dwelled on — it’s never even mentioned — is fantastic, and hopefully more movies like that will be made.

What I loved about “Daytrippers” was that there was no judgment on the part of anyone and the fact that this character was gay. What I liked was that it showed his complete confusion and how he felt he was supposed to live his life one way and then — we see it only in the end — when he says, “Help me. I don’t know what to do. I’m really confused.” I liked that because there are a lot of people like that. I remember the days of a straight actor playing a gay man and how there was talk of how “brave” that was. What was the conversation around you playing gay in 1996 versus now? You know what, there wasn’t even a conversation about it. I’ll be honest: It wasn’t a conversation. Also, I was barely in the movie. You see me at the beginning and then you see me at the end, so there really wasn’t enough there to talk about. How have you gotten away with playing gay all these years when so many straight actors have not? You have to tell me how I’ve gotten away with it. You’re the one who has to tell me. Ha! I don’t know! I don’t know! Somebody said recently — it was written in a magazine or something: Colin and I are the only two straight men who, as far as they’re concerned, are allowed to play gay men, nobody else. I’ve been telling my friends that I think you’re able to get away with playing gay because people think that you are gay. Ha! Tere was a time when there were a lot of people out there who thought I was gay. I don’t think that’s the case anymore, but I don’t know. Who knows. After this movie, you never know.

Listen, my feeling is: Whatever role you play, you just have to be truthful to the character and to the tone of the flm. And if I’m presented with something, whether it’s a gay character or a straight character or whatever character, if it doesn’t ring true to me, then I really

can’t do it. Or I will do my best to have it rewritten, rewrite it myself, change the lines, and do it the way it should be done. I’m curious about this time in your life when people thought you were gay. When was that? What do you remember from that period? I don’t remember anyone coming up to me and saying, “You’re gay, aren’t you?” It wasn’t quite that. Ha! But it was quite a while after “Te Devil Wears Prada,” and I remember when I was dating Felicity (Blunt), my wife, she’d punch in my name on the internet and the frst thing that would come up was “Stanley Tucci Gay.” She was like, “See, look!” I was like, “Wait a minute!”

I didn’t really care. And now if you punch my name in, I don’t think that’s the frst thing that comes up. It probably just comes up “Stanley Tucci Old.” Tere’s been increasing pushback on straight actors playing LGBTQ roles. For you, is there apprehension or a diferent kind of thought process when considering playing a gay role, and how has that changed for you over the years? No, I’m not apprehensive. I do want to make sure there isn’t — and I always feel this way — someone out there who’s better for it than I am. And if there are people who are gay who are more right for it, then they should be doing it.

Now, I think that the problem here is that one of the reasons that gay actors have not played gay roles is that a lot of gay actors weren’t able to come out and be openly gay for so long, not just in society but in Hollywood. So you couldn’t be an openly gay actor because you would only be cast as a gay person, if you were lucky enough to be cast at all, and because you might be ostracized because you’re openly gay.

Now that that’s beginning to change, there can be more of a level playing feld and gay characters and actresses can be openly gay and play straight roles, play gay roles, play whatever roles. And that’s where we need to get to. Tere was this, “You were either typecast or you weren’t cast.” Tat holds true for the African-American community. It held true for the Hispanic community. It held true for Italian-Americans, and I can certainly attest to that. And it’s very disconcerting. I think what’s happening now, fnally: the playing feld is at the very beginning of starting to be level. What about your relationship with Colin allowed you to so naturally play two men who’ve loved each other for a lifetime? Because we love each other. I love him. Te only thing that would be diferent than what’s on screen would be the sex. But I just love him. I’d do anything for him. He’s like a brother I never had. When you come to know each other so well over 20 years at our age, and you’ve been through a lot — you’ve been through a lot of loss, you’ve been through a lot of difcult times, you’ve raised children, you’ve seen them go through hard times, you’ve helped each other out through all of those hard times — that’s what great friends do for each other, which is not dissimilar to what married couples do for each other. And so you have all of that. It’s all there. And you traded roles in this flm with Colin. Have you ever considered swapping roles before with another actor? Or ... an actress? Ha! With an actress!

Maybe Cher in Burlesque? She was desperate for my role. Te only problem was I couldn’t sing, so we had to keep it the way it was. Ha! But to answer your question, no, that’s never happened before. And it’s very unusual that that happens. Again, if you’re good friends, you can do that. You’ve acted alongside Cher and Meryl. What other gay icons would you happily call your boss? Barbra, Gaga, Elton, Mariah, Madonna and Liza all come to mind as options.

All of them. I met Elton John a couple of times, and I met Liza Minnelli a couple of times, and I mean, as a straight man, I almost had a heart attack. Tey’re just… these people are just incredible people. Tat talent is just staggering to me.

And I think working with Cher — I know she’s a gay icon and I had the biggest crush on her as a kid, and to be able to meet her and work with her and become friendly with her is just … you know, sometimes I show my kids my phone and I go, “I’m just texting Cher.” Did you dislike “Burlesque” as much as Cher? She famously admitted she found it “horrible.” Yeah, ha! You know what? It had potential, but it didn’t quite live up to it. Let’s put it that way. It’s lived on in the gay community, though. You must know that. I know! I can’t tell you how many people come up to me, and not only people from the gay community. Everybody comes up and they go, “I love that movie. I love ‘Burlesque.’” And I’m like, “Oh my god –– really?” e

As editor of Q Syndicate, the LGBTQ wire service, Chris Azzopardi has interviewed a multitude of superstars, including Cher, Meryl Streep, Mariah Carey and Beyoncé. His work has also appeared in The New York Times, Vanity Fair, GQ and Billboard. Reach him via Twitter @chrisazzopardi.

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COOKING WITH PAULA DREAM Easy, favorful chicken and dip

e By Paula Dream (AKA K A l e H A yg ood)

WELL, I HOPE EVERYONE IS thawed by now and has sufcient water for a shower. What a memory to start the year.

In this issue I share with you three more recipes I think everyone will want to try.

One more thing: Please remember to support MONTROSE STAR advertisers as many were hit hard fnancially by the ice storm.

EASY ORANGE CHICKEN

2 to 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast or thighs, cut into bite-size pieces 1/2 cup orange marmalade 1 tablespoon chili garlic sauce 2 tablespoons cornstarch 2 tablespoons soy sauce 2 tablespoons cilantro

Place chicken in slow cooker. In a bowl, mix marmalade and chili sauce together, and then pour over chicken. Stir into chicken to coat. Cover and cook one-and-ahalf to two hours.

In a small bowl, mix cornstarch and soy sauce. Stir into slow cooker mixture. Cover again and cook another 15 to 30 minutes.

SUNNYSIDE CHICKEN

2 to 3 teaspoons curry powder 1-1/4 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 teaspoon pepper 6 boneless, skinless chicken breasts 1-1/2 cup orange juice 1 cup uncooked long grain rice 3/4 cup water 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

Combine curry powder, one-half teaspoon salt, and pepper, and rub on all chicken pieces.

In a skillet, combine orange juice, rice, water, brown sugar, mustard and remaining salt.

Add chicken. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for about 20 to 25 minutes until juices run clear. Remove from heat and let stand, covered until all liquid is gone.

AVOCADO SPINACH DIP

2 cups fresh spinach, rinsed and patted dry 1 cup avocado, diced 1/2 cup sour cream 1/4 cup red onion, chopped 1 tablespoon fresh lime juice 1 tablespoon jalapeno, chopped and seeded Hot sauce, to taste

In a medium-size bowl, mix together all ingredients. Stir until reaching desire consistency. e

PERRY’S & LONGHORN Steakhouses that taste more and cost less

e By Jim Ayres

WANT A STEAK DINNER TONIGHT? WITHOUT spending a fortune? Break away from the Outback/Saltgrass rut and try two higherquality alternatives without big spending Mastro’s-level cash. Jacket and tie not required!

I’ve written about Perry’s on these pages before. But that was a dine-in experience focused on their famous Pork Chop. And the newest location on West Gray was still serving BBQ Chicken Pizza.

Tis time, it was just me. I didn’t feel like leaving the house and Perry’s was running a three-course takeout special for $45. (Tey still are.)

My order was mundane, but the food was spectacular! A cool and crispy Wedge Salad with double thick slab bacon was as fresh as dine-in when it got to my door.

It came with a mini loaf of warm, nutty bread with plenty of whipped butter to spread around. I felt no guilt after using it all.

My 14-ounce New York Strip was cooked a perfect medium rare, yet it was still warm by the time it reached my plate. So tender and so deeply favorful. Perry’s thoughtfully included bacon marmalade and bleu cheese with the steak, normally a $5 upcharge.

I like sweet bacon jam as a counterpoint to savory dishes, and it elevated this steak as well. Te cheese was kept for a later use. Te special gives you a choice of a side dish or a dessert. I broke out of the box and chose a sweet ending. And Perry’s Rocky Road Bread Pudding did not disappoint! It’s topped in four favors of sin — chocolate chips, caramel sauce, candied walnuts and toasted marshmallows.

Te following week was a small and “virusponsible” birthday celebration. My friend Sandi loves LongHorn Steakhouse on Katy Freeway near Bunker Hill, and it’s easy to see why. Sit in a comfy booth and savor a Fleming’s-like experience for less money.

Service here is frst-rate. In their vests and white shirts, servers cordially ofer menu and wine advice, mix cocktails tableside and coddle you all around.

Sadly, LongHorn doesn’t ofer a wedge salad. Time for me to get out of that rut! I got a Caesar. A particularly good Caesar Salad, I might add. Impeccably fresh, the

LongHorn Steakhouse’s ribeye

and stufed baked potato

LongHorn Steakhouse

9401-A Katy Freeway, Houston, TX 77024

713-463-3734

LONGHORNSTEAKHOUSE.COM

Perry’s New York Strip

Perry’s Steakhouse & Grill

1997 West Gray, Houston, TX 77019

346-293-8400

DAKANDBOP.COM

dressing was light, and the croutons nicely toasted and seasoned. It was a great starter choice, but Sandi knew she wouldn’t be able to order a baked potato with her main dish. She got the Loaded Potato Soup instead. Fewer carbs and she relished every drop.

From there, we all ordered 12-ounce ribeyes. Tese were quality cuts cooked perfectly to order, well-seasoned and satisfying to the last bite. Only the $22 price tag (which includes a side dish) belies the fact that the steak isn’t from a more expensive restaurant.

As for the sides, two of us got loaded baked potatoes – couldn’t have asked for better – while Sandi ordered Crispy Brussels Sprouts. Odor-free, Sandi devoured every bulb.

We shared a dessert of angel food cake bites in whipped cream and fudge sauce, served in a giant martini glass. Now that’s an ending anyone would be happy about! e

EXCITED FOR BRUNCH? SO ARE WE!