What a World

Our date with The Godfather

By Nancy Ford

So I was in this movie once. It was a small gay indie produced in Dallas called It’s in the Water (1997). In it, residents of a small Texas town fear that their water supply was turning its people gay, which, today, sounds like a headline espoused by Tucker Carlson.

I played Dyke #2 in IITW. Sadly, my lines were cut and the only evidence that I was ever part of the cast is in the credits. That’s show biz.

Amid the film’s reliance on stereotypical redneck humor, one of the funnier scenes features Dyke #1, a video store customer checking out a sizable stack of popular lesbian movie titles of the day — Desert Hearts, Go Fish, I’ve Heard the Mermaids Singing. All the pre-Carol biggies.

For the benefit of younger STAR readers, video stores were popular, late 20th century retail hubs of contemporary culture that rented out movies. Kind of like a library, but the late fees were steeper, and librarians almost never request that their patrons to “Be kind, rewind.”

Libraries are buildings where people can check out books for a specific period of time.

Books are…. Oh, never mind.

In Dyke #1’s stack of film selections was The Godfather. That got one of the biggest laughs of the whole movie.

It’s funny because it’s true.

But why? What is it about a 50-year old movie whose protagonists commit atrocities of all kinds ranging from murder to spousal abuse to drug trafficking to wearing white after Labor Day.

There’s little I love more than staying in on a cold, gray, rainy evening plopped on the couch, neck-deep in the three movies that make up The Godfather saga. The height of my GF indulgence is achieved with the accompanying aroma of a rich marinara sauce simultaneously simmering on the stove. Heck, GF1 even provides an authentic recipe for the sauce.

If I’ve watched it once, I’ve watched all three installments a hundred times — no exaggeration. It’s a cinematic sacrament at the residence of Dyke #2. Imagine my horror and disbelief when my Far Better Half (heretofore referred to as FBH), told me that she’d never seen it. How could this be? The love of my life who knows my every secret, my every desire and proclivity, the woman with whom my soul, intellect and humor are most tightly intertwined had never experienced the greatest achievement in cinematic history since — well, since ever.

The music! The drama! The symbolism! Diana Keaton before she had her teeth fixed! What’s not to love?

I approached FBH’s introduction to the Corleone family with the same giddiness that a child feels at Christmas — appropriate, since a spirited discussion soon ensued over whether The Godfather is a Christmas movie. I say of course it is, based on the hospital scene replete with Christmas music, twinkling lights and Michael and Kay bustling through the snow with their arms full of wrapped gifts. FBH says no because — and I quote — “Don’t be ridiculous.” We also (ahem) disagree about Die Hard being a Christmas movie. Again I say, of course it is. Fight me.

I ticked off the days until we had a free, uninterrupted evening when we could watch The GF undisturbed. When that glorious evening finally arrived, I slid two of our favorite pizzas into the oven (HEB’s Midtown brand, btw; the crust is squisito), then slid my DVD of the special 30th anniversary edition and pressed play.

Quicker than you can say “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes,” we were swept away to Connie and Carlo’s wedding.

We watched The Godfather on Presidents Day. Everyone knows there is no better day to go to the mattresses than Presidents Day. We wondered if Clemenza and Rocco went discount shopping for 10 or 20 TempurPedics after they snuffed out Paulie.

FBH noticed a fine detail in a scene that had never occurred to me. When Clemenza orders Paulie to pull the car over to the side of a remote wheat field — those “amber waves of grain” so sought after by mid-20th century immigrants to America like the Corleone family — so he can take a leak. Clemenza then exits the car and relieves himself as Paulie takes two pops to the back of the head. That wind was making the amber grain wave, blowing back on the portly cannoli enthusiast. Is this author Mario Puzo’s ultimate message of the whole series — that finding success in

a life of crime is about as productive as pissing into the wind? Probably not. Still, FBH’s observation was pretty astute for a firsttimer. And thank the lord, she concluded she did indeed like The Godfather, though not enough to merit a re-watch.

That’s OK. There are lots of other lesbian movies we can enjoy together. ¶

S 17

ACROSS THE CAUSEWAY

After having great success performing in fine hotels such at the Driskill in Austin, Hale began to see the future that was coming for live pianists in certain venues. Hip-hop was all the rage and the younger generation was totally sold on it. Sitting in a nice club, sipping a martini and listening to classics on a well-tuned piano was not the idea of a good time for younger millennials.

“I just knew that before too long a bar manager, young enough to be my son, was going to come along and say ‘We are putting in big-screen TVs and will no longer need you with the piano,’” he said.

The smart Hale decided he’d better reinvent himself to secure his future and income-generating ability.

While playing at the opulent Driskill in Austin, Hale noticed that his first set would sound great, with all 88 keys were functioning properly and solidly. After a break and returning for the second set, he found the piano’s tremble was gone and out of tune a bit, and would get worse with playing and with time.

The Driskill hired a new tuner and Hale noticed the piano remained in tune and continued to sound great. After a few months, the ever-curious Hale approached the tuner and the rest, as they say, is history. Hale studied under the tuner and before long he was cutting his “tuning teeth” on every piano belonging to the Austin Independent School District — a task he credits with assisting him in learning and expanding his new craft.

Not long after working in Austin’s schools, Hale got in touch with Plum Pianos in LaGrange, Texas. Plum’s was well known and had a great reputation regarding the quality of their work restoring pianos and tuning them. Hale offered to come and work for free when he had the spare time. It was during this time that he began to engage with fine Steinway pianos and other brands noted for their exceptional sound quality and their commanding price. With his great dedication to perfection and unequaled work ethic, it was not long before the tuner began to excel in the restoration, tuning and repair of the instruments that he loved.

Pitch perfect

When asked about the particulars of piano tuning, Hale quickly shared the process and his personal views on what it takes to make a piano sound just right.

“It is not easy,” he said. “I think it is a layered process. I mean, the tuning should be performed in a layer process.”

Hale offered the analogy of buying and restoring a grand old home that may need some tender, loving care.

“You might start with the yard, working the landscaping and getting it right. In time, you move on to other aspects of the restoration, one piece at a time and make sure each piece is perfect. It takes time to get the entire property up to par,” he said. “It is the same with a piano. At Carnegie Hall, they tune every single day. Those pianos have reached their pinnacle of perfection.”

When Hale first encounters a “new” tuning job, his primary goal is to get the instrument up to pitch.

“Pitch correction if the first thing I work on,” he explained. “It must be correct to move forward and can take some time. Over time, a tuner develops an understanding and relationship with each particular instrument. If a piano has not been played in many years it may take a while to reach the desired level of perfection.”

Piano tuners, by the way, are paid by the job, not by the hour. We have all heard the story of a blind piano tuner who only uses his ear to tune. Hale said that although a blind man might have some increased hearing or sound discernment, it’s a two to three-hour process to tune a piano.

“When I tune a piano, it’s one-third electric and two-thirds by my ear. Neither are infallible,” said Hale. “Like children, some pianos can be temperamental and difficult, especially the tuning pins. The worst is replacing a string; it’s a nightmare but often a necessity.”

Kirk Hale is a perfectionist and his dedication has earned

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Kirk Hale and partner Carl Samuels, outside the Grand Opera House

him quite a reputation on the Island and around Texas. He works on instruments at the Tremont House, the San Luis, Moody Mansion, the Convention Center and numerous churches, and he is the exclusive tuner for the Galveston Independent School District.

“I like to reduce the instrument to my control,” said Kirk. “Then I can get the sound perfection I am seeking. I like to think I am keeping Texas in tune!”

Hale plays piano every Saturday, 5-7 p.m. at the Tremont House, 2300 Ships Mechanic Row, Galveston. It’s a delightful way to hear great music, enjoy a martini and meet a master piano technician.

For information call 512-292-6920 or log on to LoneStarPianos.com. ¶