Stories of Growth
Interviews by Moran Liu
Preface My first time traveling to the United States back when I was in primary school was life-changing for me. I learned about the American Dream and the diversity of people and cultures. That trip inspired me to dream about studying in the United States. At that time, I was in the Chinese public school system, and I wanted to see if there were other ways of learning, something more than just workbook exercises, memorizations, and dictations. Soon, my family and I made the brave decision to prepare myself to study at a boarding middle school in the US. By that time, I had moved to an international school in Beijing to see how well I would transition to the newer style of teaching. I loved it. While most Chinese students only begin studying abroad in high school, college, or graduate school, I was eager to start as early as possible. I was ready to work hard to make my dream come true. Throughout the application and preparation process, I had to give up on many things, including my sleeping time, and of course, I needed to work harder than my peers. Although it was challenging, I reminded myself that studying abroad is a goal that I am passionate about. If I hold on longer, this opportunity could open up an infinite number of possibilities for me in the future. At Undoubtedly, my move to study in the United States has been the biggest turning point in my life so far. Sometimes it might be crazy to think of a girl leaving home at the age of twelve to study halfway around the world. Looking back, I am incredibly happy and proud of the decision that we had made. I now have two different homes—one with my own family and one with my boarding family—two homes where I can experience different ways of feeling safe and cared for, and two environments where I can thrive in different ways. This brave decision would not have been possible without the strength and dedication of my parents. I am an only child, so my parents have been taking up their parental responsibilities for the very first time. I am very lucky and grateful to have parents who are responsible and want the best for me. Since I was young, my dad would read many books and acquire advice on how to be a good father to me. He always hopes to create good prospects for me by stressing the importance of education and lifelong learning. I remember when I was in kindergarten, my dad encouraged me to read through the Sanzijing (“The Three Character Classic”), which is a traditional text that teaches morals to children. He wanted me to comprehend the meaning behind the words and to carry those lessons in my heart. This greatly shaped my character and my values. They have taught me to be brave and strong no matter how hard the challenges I face are. I believe it was the strong foundation and unconditional support they gave me that allowed me to thrive independently in a boarding school at a young age.
As I begin my preparations to move on to the next stage in my life—high school—I have not only reflected on my own journey of growth but also the journey of growth for others as well. I believe that everyone has their own personal goals, values, and pursuits that they have fought hard to reach. What were their experiences? What foundations were laid that motivated them to make life-changing decisions? How did they overcome their own challenges? What challenges are they still facing currently? How have their experiences formed their beliefs, both for themselves and perhaps for their next generation? This is why I began this project. I wanted to hear the stories of different people and to understand why each person has their own unique journeys. I decided to interview people from different backgrounds, ages, levels of education. Some of them were educated in China, while some were educated internationally. Some of them grew up in Beijing, while some of them had left their hometowns to find opportunities elsewhere. Some were single, while some were parents. Each had their own stories of growth to share. As I listened to each of their stories, I was touched by how much I could relate to each of their stories. Although the facts of our stories are different—I had never lived in a poor village, nor have I worked for a living nor raised a child—the spirit of our fight for a better life for ourselves is common. Not only that, I learned from the parents that their fight continues even after they have achieved their personal goals. They continue to fight for their family and their next generation. I was reminded not only of my own perseverance and hard work during my application to study abroad, but I also recalled my parents’ time and sacrifice to give me my opportunities. I also heard stories of uncertainty and of anxiety. Some of my older interviewees mentioned that they do not necessarily consider themselves successful. Perhaps they did not end up achieving all of the goals they set up to reach at the beginning. Or some of them may be personally successful in the eyes of the outside world, but they are unsure of the decisions they need to make for their children. Even those I had looked up to as successful role models told me about the baggage they carry because of their success. They feel as though they need to continue delivering on their successes. However, their faith that their continuous pursuit will be rewarded in some way keeps them going. The biggest discovery for me during the making of this project is that for each person, our learning and our growth is a lifelong process. I used to think that my life would be great when I reach a certain goal in the future. Now I realize that it never really ends. However, instead of feeling despair, I feel that every one of my interviewees would simply take each challenge one step at a time. They work hard, they find help, they consider, and they learn. I hope you enjoy their stories.
Jennie Ai Jennie Ai studied Financial Mathematics for her Master's and Ph.D. and continued her studies in the US as an exchange student. She is really knowledgeable both as a student and as a mother. She has a son who is my classmate in the Rectory School. Jennie values the parents’ accompany during the growth of their children, and she has been trying to provide good guidance using her own knowledge and experience for her son. And she has been coming up with ways to let her son forming curiosity freely.
He said, "If you can condense these three big dictionaries into a thin set of notes, then will you have what it takes to master everything. " Q. What is your educational background? A. I have spent many years in school! Almost 10 years in university—4 years undergraduate, 3 years graduate, and 3 years for my Ph.D. I had studied financial mathematics at Sichuan University, then I did my Master's and started my Ph.D. at Renmin University in Beijing, and continued my Ph.D. at Illinois State University in the US as an exchange student. Q. Do you feel a difference in values and worldview after you finished your Ph.D.? A. I changed more when I did my Master's degree. Before, when I was an undergraduate, I was very active. For example, I joined the school dance team, read a lot of books outside of my major, such as politics, anthropology, and aesthetics. I also wrote poetry, and my manuscripts were circulated on the campus. However, after I went to graduate school, my whole person changed, and I became very focused, especially on my finance profession, and devoted myself to it. I think my graduate school mentor had a significant influence on me at that time. Before I met him, I was overconfident. He came back to China from Europe and studied the "European Community Economy" in China. He is well-respected in China. Before the postgraduate entrance examination, I studied with him for a year, and then he passed away.
At that time, I went to his house every Saturday and took courses prescribed by him on his small balcony. The textbooks he gave me were the International Economics Dictionary, International Finance Dictionary, International Economics and Trade Dictionary. He said, "If you can condense these three big dictionaries into a thin set of notes, then will you have what it takes to master everything. " I followed his requirements that year and it truly laid a good foundation for my economics and finance later on. My mentor was a very humble old gentleman. From him, I learned that truly wise people are actually quite easygoing, unlike me back then, with my inflated pride. After he passed, I could not find a good mentor like him anymore. I felt as though there was no higher, more capable person to take me forward. This is also the reason I went to the United States, to continue pushing me forward.
Many parents encourage their kids to try many different things, but if the child does not also learn to focus and persist, it will be difficult to develop their potential strengths and talents. Q. Let's talk a bit about your role as a parent. Do you think it is important for parents to be with their children as they grow up? A. Yes, it is. When a child is born, they are like a blank sheet of paper, where the parents give them the focus, where the child will excel in the future. For example, when [my son] Steven was three or four, I discovered that he seemed to take an interest in drawing and art. He would be very focused. This requires those close to him, like his parents, to observe, guide, and discover his talents and interests, and also to support him in persisting. Many parents encourage their kids to try many different things, but if the child does not also learn to focus and persist, it will be difficult to develop their potential strengths and talents. In the process of their growth, especially in adolescence, they are forming their worldview. Especially in middle school and high school, their knowledge is not comprehensive. I often say, "What could your good grade now do for you?" Academic education is only the beginning. Therefore, parents should give some good guidance from their own knowledge and experience. Companionship does not have to be just for the significant events in life. Life is all about simple things. Still, when Steven was very young, he had already traveled to over 20 countries, most of them are developed countries. I mostly take him to visit museums, science and technology museums, and more in the U.S., like the museums on the eastern and western coast. I also take him to paint, sketching in churches in Austria and the Netherlands. My education to him isn’t too goal-oriented nor utilitarian, and we encouraged him to turn his interests into his hobbies because people should follow their heart, intention, and nature. Maybe it has something to do with my philosophy. I don't like to take away the curiosity of kids.
Maria Hodorogea Maria Hodorogea is currently teaching Science at Beijing World Youth Academy, an international school in Beijing. Growing up in Romania, she came from humble beginnings without too many opportunities. As a teacher, she has taught in Ireland, Germany, and now in Beijing, China. This was all possible because she worked hard to get a good education, which opened up and earned her these invaluable international career opportunities and experience different cultures in different places in the world. However, on her road to teaching in different countries, blending with disparate cultures was truly a challenge for her. She was grateful that she has amazing neighbors and students who have motivated her to keep an optimistic state of mind.
I grew up in the countryside, on a farm. I did not like farm work, so my only exit ticket was to study. Q. Could you please tell me where your hometown is? A. My hometown is in Romania. That's my home country, but my hometown is tiny. It's a village of 6,000 inhabitants.
Q. What is education like in your country? A. When I was a student, it was really strict, and it was hard. I grew up in the countryside, on a farm. I did not like farm work, so my only exit ticket was to study. I studied very hard to get out of country life. I did not like to work on the farm at all. I was crying every time my mom used to ask me to do something on the farm. I was always busy, so I Q. Do you think the education was effective? A. It's a debate. There are pros and cons. I don't want to judge. I am what I am because of that system, right? So probably it has a good side and a bad side. There are definitely lots of gaps. And the teaching style was arranged so that the teachers were in front of the classroom and we sat at the desks. We had dictations, and we used to be called at the board a lot to work on problems. As a teacher, I try to implement some of the effective ways from my own learning to my teaching.
Q. How did you end up teaching in China? A. The first country I went to was Ireland, and then I felt it was time to move on. I haven’t stayed too long, like half a year there, but I thought there was something wrong. So, I moved to a Montessori school, and I stayed there for 4 years.
Then again, I started feeling guilty because I had started with chemistry and I said, “Well, what am I going to do with my chemistry?” So, I started applying for a job related to my career interests. I got this job in Germany to work in a lab at an international school as a lab assistant, so I moved there and Q. Was English your second language?
remained there for 6 years. But then, I felt like I needed to move on again, and
A. No, my second language was French and
I wasn’t sure where to go. I had some colleagues and teachers who are
then English. And then later, I learned Latin.
Romanians and had lived in Nanjing for 5 years. I thought that if I wanted something different, I would need to move away from Europe and that part of
Q. Did you struggle at first when you spoke
the world. Therefore, I came to China.
English? A. Yes, I was afraid of speaking, that I will not
On July 18, 2018, about 3 years ago. I started to teach at BWYA in Beijing. I
say it correctly. Afraid that it will sound weird
have to say that I had a really hard time in my first year. And it was not only
because we do have accents, right? I was quite
teaching, it was everything. I missed my friends a lot, and the environment is
afraid, but I'm not anymore.
different compared to where I came from.
I thought that if I wanted something different, I would need to move away from Europe and that part of the world. Therefore, I came to China. Q. But how did you overcome the difficul-
Q. Was hard to blend in with the Chinese culture or live in Beijing?
ties?
A. Yes, as I said, my first year was really difficult. Now I'm fine. We have
A. To be honest, I have to say, the kids. The
really good neighbors. They invite us every week for dinner at their house.
kids would come up to me after school at the
They are amazing. They have helped us so much. And we've been with
end of the week and say, "I had such a good
them on holidays around China and they've been really supportive.
week!" I felt really rewarded. They make me feel good every time they understood in class
Q. Where would you go if you leave China?
and every time they have done well. Also, I
A. If I'm going, I'm most probably going back home. I'm not sure if I'm
feel really good about myself, my job, and
going to go into a different kind of stream. I am probably past a certain
knowing that I'm doing something that
age to start all over again in a different country. It usually takes a couple
matters. This makes me feel important. So, I
of years to feel okay. I'm not sure if I am ready to do that. Professionally.
decided to stay longer at BWYA.
I feel great here.
Yasong Li Yasong Li learned digital design when he was in school. He is in his 40s now and has a daughter who is in elementary school. His unusual point of view gave him a great contrast compared to other interviewees. Despite what he thinks is the “limitation” of Chinese education and challenges facing him for cultivating creativity in his daughter, he is determined to create an environment that allows his daughter to develop her imagination, creativity, and curiosity freely. He emphasized that this is really important for the growth of a person. When my daughter was having the first day of school, all her creativity and curiosity were viewed as a bad habit. Q. How important do you think creativity is in education? A. First of all, when I was studying industrial design in school, we developed the habit of divergent thinking, and we would often ask why. Chinese education nowadays does not like divergent thinking because it isn’t easy for teachers to manage. When my daughter was having the first day of school, all her creativity and curiosity were viewed as a bad habit. For parents, it is important to have a strong mind while allowing them to be creative. You have to follow the rules of the school as well as help her keep herself as a child. Our educational philosophy is that nothing is absolutely right or wrong, and that it is just appropriateness or inappropriateness. In the current situation, the solution for us is to lean more on the edges of the education system and to develop their own interests. This is a challenge for both the child and the parents. We would cultivate the habit of thinking with questions, finding the key of the problems, and following their interests to guide them to learn.
Q. How do you think creativity can be cultivated in people? A. Edison said, “Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration.” But that one percent of inspiration is the most important part, and even more important than that ninety-nine percent of sweat. But we rarely talk about where that inspiration comes from. Fundamentally, we denied the importance of talent. Of course, I am not saying that effort is not important. It is essential, but in no way should talent be dismissed. In learning, children's desire to explore is extremely strong. Obviously, there is no standard answer. Children come to different conclusions based on different perspectives. But we are very distressed: when my daughter comes across a question about school studies, I do not dare to answer her question right away. I have to read what their textbooks say first, because it is sometimes different from our perception, including our understanding, which completely limited their imagination. Anyway, I still tried to guide my child to keep her own ideas. But what they are learning now is that the right answer is exclusive. I totally disagree with this.
Learning to understand a problem, think of a solution,
and take action effectively—this is what is most important for a student’s growth in the long run. Q. What are your thoughts on the current state of education? A. Now, many people just equate your degree with your education. However, the degree does not always show one’s level of literacy, comprehension, or depth of thought. One’s diploma is essentially a paper that proves where you graduated and what kind of achievements you have made. But real education is the level of knowledge you have, the ability to solve problems, and the literacy to create be part of civilized society. This includes, of course, traditional culture. The pure pursuit of high education is the desire for physical things, but the accumulation of culture is a long-term learning process, and a desire and persistence for your ideals. We clearly know that reality is cruel, but we cannot be blinded by reality. In this period of education reform, we are hoping that children would be accompanied by spiritual faith.
Siping Qian When I first arrived in Beijing, I knew nothing about home renovations. I learned it all in Beijing, following the renovation team I was working for. Siping Qian was born in Yibin, Sichuan, moved to Beijing 26 years ago at a very young age. Being the second youngest of his siblings, he decided to improve his living environment since his hometown was relatively poor at that time. He has fought hard to make a living and now runs a small business in the competitive home renovation industry. He has a son, who is a soldier, and a daughter, who is working in a beauty salon. Q. When you left your hometown, what was the town like? A. It was a poor place at that time, and I had to strive hard for a living. Many things were still done manually, and my hometown was relatively poor. Q. Why did you decide to come to Beijing? A. The biggest change for me is that we have basically resolved the adequate food and clothing issue, unlike before, we still have to be a little worried about it.
Q. Do you prefer Beijing or your hometown? A. I would still choose Beijing, whether it is the culture or its living conditions, it is better. If my life developed well here, I would stay in Beijing. But if I couldn't persist anymore, I would have to go back home. But I have already persisted for 26 years here. For a drifter to Beijing like me, the only thing that can support me and my family is my home renovation skill. The working conditions and pay for home renovations is relatively better than civil construction. If I move to other places, I would have to rebuild my clientele. Since I have been in Beijing for a long time, I at least have some connections and resources. No matter where we are, this industry is very competitive. So, I would rather stay in Beijing.
Q. What difficulties have you encountered when you started to enter the home renovation industry? A. It wasn’t easy to get paid, to settle the account, and sometimes even after the work, the customers would avoid paying. I have also encountered many unreasonable requests from them during my work. Some good customers would consider or deal with the problem from our point of view during our construction, but some people would not do that, which would generate misunderstandings and conflicts. Some customers have particular expectations. For us, it’s all manual work, yet they would ask us to give results as perfectly as the machine. I would try to do the best I can to make it perfect and try to meet the needs of customers. If we really can’t reach it, the only way is to communicate more.
To form regular contact with our children, my wife
and I would make scheduled calls and speak to them for 20-30 minutes on a Tuesday or Friday night. Q. Despite a variety of challenges, do you still like working in
Q. Do you have any children?
the home renovation industry?
A. I have two, the older one is a daughter, 25 years old, and
A. Yes! It's a survival capital. I think this is the most important thing,
the younger one is a son, 24 years old. My daughter is now
although home renovation is no longer a booming industry, I still
working, also in Beijing, and my son is now in Guizhou training
like this business.
as a soldier.
This is the most important thing for me. At first, I started to work in this industry to solve the problem of food and clothing. When I first came to Beijing, the people I knew were all in this industry. So, I did it step by step. I like this profession, both the technique, and the income was also okay. It’s quite lucky for me to be able to work in this industry. It is work that I enjoy and I could support my family.
Q. How did you foster them both? A. When they were young, my parents (their grandparents) raised them in their hometown (Yibin, Sichuan). To form regular contact with our children, my wife and I would make scheduled calls and speak to them for 20-30 minutes on a Tuesday or Friday night. We would discuss with them about their lives and ideals, to get to know their state of mind, and then subconsciously guide them and teach them some life
Q. Do you think it was a brave decision to come to Beijing in
lessons, such as politeness, or some basic life skills. In terms
the first place?
of study, we often encourage them.
A. Yes, I think so. I was the first one in my family to go out to work, and I was about 24 or 25 years old at that time. I especially wanted
Q. Do you think education could change destiny?
to change my fortune, thinking that the outside world was better
.A. Yes, that's for sure. If you get a good education, you will
than my hometown, but I had to achieve that through my own
definitely have a good destiny. Because your worldview and
efforts. Now although I haven't reached my expectations yet, I
values are more refined, they will take you to higher places.
could face it honestly at my age now. After all, there is still an enormous gap between the ideal and reality, and I don't think I am that successful.
Yang Xu Yang Xu grew up and lives in Beijing and is currently a fencing coach at theVANGO Sports Club. He has been coaching fencing for 7 years, thus he has witnessed the change in the local fencing community, including its increasing popularity and the transformation of its coaching style. Having the opportunity of visiting other countries and learned about different coaching styles inspired Yang Xu to apply heuristic methods in his coaching. He believes cultivating the interests of the fencers is the key point, very different from the old days when hard physical training was attached more importance over the thinking of the mind. Q. How has your fencing teaching changed over the years? A. The mission of fencing classes now is more about the development of a hobby and enrichment of sports experience. Whereas in the past, it was more about technical practice to train a professional athlete. Nowadays children have more choices in sports activities, compared to 5 years ago, when there were not so many sports to choose from. For example, children did not want to play basketball or other common sports, so they would choose something like elegant sports, fencing. But now kids can choose some other activities that are not so common before like shooting, rock climbing, skiing and skating in winter. They can experience quite a lot to find a really interesting activity for themselves.
Parents learn from the media or other sources that fencing is a very good sport that involves the coordination of the body, mind, and brain, not just simply running and jumping. Q. Are there more kids who play fencing now? A. There are actually a lot more who play fencing than before because more parents take their children to experience fencing. Parents learn from the media or other sources that fencing is a very good sport that involves the coordination of the body, mind, and brain, not just simply running and jumping. Fencing can help build up a person’s mindset. Being smart is one thing, but it also requires calm control of your emotions to win a fencing match.
Q. I know you have taken some kids to Canada for training during the holidays. Do you think there is any difference between the young fencers of the two countries? A. To be honest, I think children practice harder here. I led teams not only to Canada but also to countries like Germany and Romania. When my kids trained together with the foreign kids during the trips, I felt that the training of young fencers seemed more play-oriented in those countries. The coach would not be particularly strict in regulating the movements or skills. They have ways to help kids find fun or play in fencing, and then slowly reduce the dullness of monotonous repeated training in coaching. By exposing the young fencers to more fun in fencing learning, coaches make kids fall in love with fencing gradually, then you will be motivated to pay attention to improving skills and train harder.
To fence against your opponent, you always need to focus and immerse in your own world. Q. How do kids abroad get trained before they settle on a
Q. Do some fencers simply play fencing for a
long-term practice?
purpose, for example, to get into a better school?
A. Most of the kids abroad start it as a hobby. In fact, most of
A. Some parents are very utilitarian and ask me if
the clubs abroad are smaller with fewer people. After all, they
performance or achievements in fencing can get extra
have a smaller population compared to China. Besides, the
points in academics. Some schools, including high
cost of fencing might be higher abroad, the training costs,
schools and universities, both domestic and foreign,
transportation costs might be higher than here. And fencing
want to enroll students with special talents to enrich the
equipment is also more expensive. I guess most parents and
school activities and elevate sports levels of the
kids would think seriously before taking fencing. So once you
school, so they will set up special programs to admit
set out on this path, it's unlikely that you would just give up
some talented students in various fields. This
easily.
motivates many parents to think that fencing achieve-
And fencing differs from team sports. It requires the fencer to
ment or performance can earn their kids extra points to
sink into their own little world. Therefore, you see many fencers
apply to a great school.
are actually very self-centered, he/she will not rely on others to
However, I always try to persuade parents with such
do anything when they put on the masks and hold the swords.
motive not to choose fencing or any other activity for
They are alone. What the coach has advised would be
the same purpose only. When they choose sports for
exercised only by himself. This sport is so mentally demanding
schooling purposes rather than hobbies or physical or
that you cannot have a little relaxation in the match. To fence
mental benefits, it is too utilitarian and the kid cannot
against your opponent, you always need to focus and immerse
go through the training or experience the genuine joy
in your own world.
of sports.
Tianhua Yu Tianhua Yu currently works at the Beijing Media Network, in charge of external affairs in the office. As a mother, she believes that the family environment is important, so she is doing her best to create an environment for her sixth-grade son that could help him form his individualism and build his autonomy. She likes to give her son more opportunities to learn through playing and hands-on learning, such as art, hoping that this teaching style will help cultivate his creativity and imagination.
When he plays, we are very happy but also very nervous. Yet when he studies, we are worried that he is under too much pressure. Q. Can you tell us about your work?
Q. What is your philosophy in raising and educating your son?
A. I used to work in the Beijing TV Station,
A. I want to give him more opportunities to learn through play. I am very much hoping
but now we've merged, and it's been called
that he can build more autonomy. For example, like painting, I really looked at many
Beijing Media Network for the past two
art schools for him. Some schools encourage children to think and observe, while
years, and then I'm basically in charge of
some of them would let kids paint a stroke after the teacher paint a stroke, which is
external affairs in the office.
not helpful. For the art school that he is in now, after each creation, the teacher asks each kid to tell her a story. She allows the students to take advantage of their full imagination. After a while, my son has now created some of his own drawings and has also improved his ability of expression because their teachers still ask him to tell her a story each time. Even if his story wasn’t rich at first, slowly and subtly, his language expression ability and composition writing ability have improved. Of course, this is a long process. Through discovering his inner thoughts, I found his paintings began to be more of his own and less about the art rules and techniques.
Therefore, I believe that no matter whether we are striving for quantity or quality, we must not stop learning. Of course, sometimes I feel confused and hypocritical. I want to watch my son have fun with the things he enjoys, but when he plays too long I get frustrated. We parents, at this age, are really under a general environment that is particularly contradictory. When he plays, we are very happy but also very nervous. Yet when he studies, we are worried that he is under too much pressure. Overall, I want my son to have a goal and work hard towards that target.
Q. Do you think education can change a person’s destiny? A. Yes. If you know a language that no one else does, you have at least more chance than others to get in touch with and learn more about foreign countries, and maybe you might have the chance to broaden your views. Your perceptions would be different, then the depth of thought would be diverse, and you will have a better understanding of your future and your life, or on a larger scale. Maybe you will also contribute to your country, and the people and things around you. As long as you are capable, you will contribute to society, humanity, and the country in some ways. Just like a craftsperson that our TV Station once interviewed. She enjoys making clay handicrafts and has self-studied Japanese. As the factory slowly developed, the technical exchanges with foreign countries became more and more frequent. By chance, the factory had a Japanese language expert, and there were only a few people who knew Japanese at that time, so they let her do some simple translation, which later attracted the attention of the unit leaders. The factory leader proposed that in order to expand further communication, the unit would pay for her to go to Japan for further study. Later, she also improved her crafting skills and gave some crafts to these international friends as gifts. After her popularity became higher, they gave her more opportunities to promote this traditional Chinese culture. This cultural promotion was not just limited to Japan. She also acted as a cultural ambassador. Her living conditions and standards have improved, and her family and her children also get more opportunities to study abroad. At the same time, she also gets to promote Chinese culture. I think that knowledge and education can really change destiny. Therefore, I believe that no matter whether we are striving for quantity or quality, we must not stop learning.
Iris Zhan Finishing the first 12 years of education in her hometown, Xi’an, China, Iris Zhan faced many difficulties during her studies in Clinical Nutrition at Berkeley. She feels grateful that the people closest to her supported her during those challenging years. After she graduated from Berkeley, she worked at the Cargill Company. However, she encountered some trouble when she discovered that graduating from a highly renowned university differentiated her from her colleagues. She is still finding her voice and hoping that people recognize her for her abilities rather than her college credentials. Despite these challenges, Iris’s firm belief in the value of advocating for and proving her own abilities keeps her working hard.
Americans have grown up learning to use "I" as the subject of their sentences. Q. How did your parents support you when you were growing up?
Q. What difficulties did you encounter when
A. My parents have been very supportive of the things I wanted to do, such
you began college?
as my decision to study abroad, or my initial desire to practice track and
A. When I first attended Berkeley, I had
field and then fencing. Since I was young, they have always treated me as
academic culture shock. The English that I
an adult and listened to me carefully, which I think is very important.
learned from the textbooks differed greatly from the English movies that I watched and from the
I have been in charge of managing myself since I entered 9th grade—my
English I was used to. In addition, the teaching
life and my studies—and my parents would simply make sure that I am on
method was very different. The materials taught
the right track. If they think that my direction is a bit off, then they would
were very dispersed, and the concepts were
advise me. For many of my actions or ideas, even if they don't at first agree
very abstract. At first, I couldn't keep up, so I
or understand, they would first ask me calmly why I wanted to do it. If they
had to seek help from the professors after
think I’m reasonable, they would allow me to do it or to continue.
class, or go to my seniors, or work with my classmates. I think learning from my peers was
I think my parents and I have a pretty cool relationship. They really are
a significant part of getting me through my
open-minded parents!
studies.
Q. What is your major and why did you choose it? A. I studied Clinical Nutrition, which is a pathway in the U.S. to becoming a clinical dietitian. When I first started college, I was more interested in molecular biology since I had an interest in biochemistry. However, when I took a physiology elective in junior year, I discovered that I could actually apply the abstract theories I have learned to help people. I can meet and communicate with many people and even connect my knowledge in this area with my daily life and habits. It was more interesting to me than dealing with chlorophyll in a lab.
I want to be recognized as "Iris Zhan", not "Iris from Berkeley." Q. How have you changed since you attended Berkeley? A. The social values and cultures that I experienced in America affected me, particularly the idea of the American dream. I learned to advocate for myself, and that I shouldn’t keep telling myself, "I can't do it." Rather, I should say, "I can do it," with intention and purpose. Americans have grown up learning to use "I" as the subject of their sentences. This really had a tremendous influence on me.
Also, I have become more well-rounded and open-minded. I found the world is really diverse, with people from different ethnic cultures, educational backgrounds, and family environments. After I had more contact with them, I learned that everything has its unique essence. Since then, I have become more tolerant of different voices, even those that I was not used to hearing before.
Q. Does the fact that you graduated from a highly renowned university differentiate you from your colleagues at work? A. I'm still coming to terms with this at the moment. Since graduating, people always think of me as a "Berkeley graduate" first and "Iris Zhan" second. They always put these expectations on me from the beginning, and they keep on challenging me with these expectations, evaluating whether I am worthy of this so-called "title" of a highly renowned university.
Additionally, because of this "title", the value of the actual work I do is sometimes ignored. For example, if I do a project, they are not likely to evaluate whether I actually did good work. They will simply think that it is done by a Berkeley graduate, so the result must be great. I don't really want to hear such a statement. I would rather people see what I, Iris Zhan, have made, think that the work that I have done is useful and helpful, and thereby allow people to remember me, not Berkeley.
Lipeng Zhang After having been educated on the Chinese education curriculum, Lipeng Zhang went to the United States to continue his learning in Materials Science and Engineering. He got his doctorate at the University of Akron, and a postdoctoral at the University of Tennessee and North Texas University. Being a student who went through both the Chinese and the American styles of education, he now tries to combine both teaching styles and apply them to his teaching style as a professor to Master's students at the Beijing University of Chemical Technology. His pursuit is to encourage his students to be more open-minded, to accept greater challenges, and to take more initiative. Q. Where did you attend university before you went to the
Q. Before you went to the U.S. for your Ph.D., you had
United States?
been educated in the Chinese teaching style for a long
A. My experience was rather tortuous. I did not do well in the China
time. Did your previous style of learning clash with the
National College Entrance Examinations, so my undergraduate
US teaching style?
college options were limited. I wanted to repeat a year to try for
A. The clash wasn’t huge. It might be because of my
better schools, but my father didn’t agree. So, I went straight to
personality. I am a “sluggish” person. I am not very sensi-
college, studying at a second-tier university. After graduation, I
tive, so I respond to changes to the outside world quite
obtained my master's degree at Northwestern Polytechnical
slowly. That sometimes works to my advantage. Even
University, which is close to our home in Shaanxi. It is a strong
when the outside world has changed, I still follow my
school, including for my major.
rhythm or my way of learning, and only gradually make changes. So, I can't think of any clashes to talk about, or
Q. When you were studying in the US, what do you think is the
perhaps, it's because I didn't feel that there was much of
biggest difference between the American teaching style and
one.
the Chinese teaching style? A. US teachers are more diverse and relaxed in their lectures, like
Also, in the US, the professor’s attitude and mentality are
a normal conversation, and they interact with students. Meanwhile,
calmer and more focused purely on the academic work.
Chinese teachers prefer one-way output, with minimal interaction.
Even with a very simple case, they take it with seriousness
Naturally, domestic Chinese students are not as willing nor used to
rather than impatience. Chinese professors often have to
initiate communication and discussion with their teachers. In the
rush their work because they have other paperwork and
U.S., students have fewer worries about communicating with their
service tasks they must also complete.
teachers, and they could even debate with their teachers about controversial questions.
Q. What is your current teaching method like? A. I create an atmosphere where I can communicate and discuss with students. The way I was educated in the U.S. has helped me teach domestic students using more diverse ways of communication. If I didn't go to the U.S. and experience different teaching styles, I might be limited in my way of thinking or teaching.
For example, when I assign tasks to students, or when I communicate with them, I will find out their interests, and then, within the framework of what I can do already, I would give suggestions on what the students can do and let them decide.Also, I have focused more on the learning process. When they face a problem, I want them not just to learn the solution, but also to learn about finding efficiencies, taking initiative, and working through a project from beginning to end. This is pretty important for the development of problem-solving skills.
Learning to understand a problem, think of a solution, and take action effectively—this is what is most important for a student’s growth in the long run. Q: Do you think education could change a person's destiny? A. Of course! Everybody says that your character determines your destiny. Well, the education you receive definitely shapes your character.
I think education is about lifting your understanding to a certain level so that you would not so arbitrarily say that Q. Do you prefer seeing students choose challenging topics or
something is good or bad. Education is about a change in
ones in which results can be easily seen or obtained?
perspective, a change in understanding, and a change in
A. For me personally, I prefer to let my students choose challenging
our approach to the world. I think your character is actually
topics. Learning to understand a problem, think of a solution, and
your perception of the world, a combination of your views
take action effectively—this is what is most important for a student’s
and personal reflection. The deeper the level of understand-
growth in the long run. Even though some students may be too
ing, the more comprehensive your perception of the world is.
intimidated or afraid of taking on enormous challenges, most
So, a good education can certainly change people’s destiny
students will gradually improve on these skills through practice.
because a good education shapes character.
Shanghua Zhang Even though our generation grew up in the era of New China, we still retain the Chinese tradition of valuing the importance of education. Shanghua Zhang is now in his 40s and has a daughter who is attending an international school in Beijing and has been playing the cello for nearly 8 years. As a father, he pursues great family education in his daughter’s growth. Since she was young, he started to let her listen to music, which likely inspired her to be interested in playing the cello. He also thinks creativity is important, so he is trying to provide opportunities for innovation and creation for his daughter. Q. Why did you decide to send your daughter, Youyou, to an international school? A. Choosing the route of international education at the beginning was not a decision, but a coincidence, or the result of a combination of many factors.
When you go to public school in Beijing, you have little choice in which school to go to. The school assigned corresponds to your household registration according to the location of your household. However, not all public schools have the same level of resources. Everyone has an excellent school in their minds, a prestigious school in their hearts.
Chinese parents attach more importance to education. All parents hope that their children will get a good education and go to a good school. Even though our generation grew up in the era of New China, we still retain the Chinese tradition of valuing the importance of education.
Unfortunately, the public school that would have been assigned to us is not particularly good. We don’t pay enough attention to this problem when we were registering our household. If we had considered this issue from the time the child was born, like other parents might have done, then we would have chosen a better school district to buy a house and settle down. But it was too late, and if we went directly to the corresponding public school, we would not have accepted it in our hearts.
By coincidence, we lived right next to an international school. At that time, I had not been exposed to any international education. Although I knew that there were international schools in Beijing, my social circle was not involved, so I had no concept of it. But given the option, we tried for the international school and were admitted. It was really more of an experiment for us because international education is relatively new to us. However, we felt from the initial information we learned, it seemed like a good enough system for us. There's no perfect education system, but as long as we cooperate and work together with the school, then that will be what will be best for the child.
Q. So what is your philosophy in raising and educating Youyou? A. Because a child needs to be exposed to the world at the very beginning, the parents have to take her to see the world outside of the home environment. We want to give her more chances so that she can gain more experience and more knowledge of the world. That way, she can form a more emotional and rational understanding of the world and can be interested in putting themselves into the world, to put themselves into a more appropriate perspective. For example, if we didn't listen to music together with Youyou when she was little, she might not have discovered that she liked the cello. And if we did not actively find opportunities for her to learn the cello, she might not be doing it now. So before she is able to develop her own judgment and make her own decisions, she is guided and shaped by our wisdom and experience. Judgment comes from the experience her parents have given her before.
Before she is able to develop her own judgment and make her own decisions, she is guided and shaped by our wisdom and experience. Q. How have you cultivated Youyou's creativity?
For example, with her music, I often accompany her when she
A. To be honest, I can't say now that she is a creative child. But
practices. Because she plays classical music, I will let her watch
like I said earlier, we encouraged my daughter to think and
more videos to see how others play. Sometimes she would say, "Why
create from the time she was young, so we supported her as
should I do exactly what they do? I can learn what I think is good, but
much as we could. We always encouraged her to experience
I have my own ideas about what is good and bad." There are some
and try, and then we might talk to her about what problems she
parents of children who say that since you are learning classical
might encounter, but we never had to turn her around from an
music and you are not at a high level, it is okay if you imitate others.
experience or from an idea that she had. We’ve never done
However, I don't force her. This is what I tell her: "Although you have
that.
not yet fully formed your own musical style, you should still have some of your own ideas."
However, I think she is not particularly creative in terms of science or studying compared to her peers, but she does have
Once, she also took a master class when playing a certain piece, and
her own ideas sometimes. I also think she has some critical
she insisted on playing her own way. For example, this note on the
thinking skills. She may not have enough accumulation of
score should be louder, and that note should be weaker, but she
knowledge to be really innovative or creative, but I think her
would play oppositely. Some of her own interpretations were eventu-
consciousness has not been suppressed. I think her critical
ally approved by the teacher. Although there are not many cases like
thinking is closely related to her current education.
this, they do occur.
Longshu Zhu We had no telephones and not enough to eat and wear. So, I thought I would move to the city to earn money. Born in the countryside near Chongqing, Longshu Zhu worried constantly about having enough for living and food when she was growing up. Twenty-nine years ago, she moved to Beijing as a “Beijing drifter”, a term used for a person who moves to Beijing for better opportunities to make money. She is now 45 years old and has a daughter who is just married. Being an outsider in Beijing with little education has not been easy at all. She has had to make difficult and courageous decisions in her life, including when she encountered issues in her hardware store business. Despite those challenges, she has fought hard to maintain a good living and provide opportunities for her daughter to receive a better education in Beijing. Q. When did you first come to Beijing? A. I came to Beijing when I was 16, in 1992. Our hometown was very poor. We had no telephones and not enough to eat and wear. So, I thought I would move to the city to earn money. Of course, there were also many difficulties. Because of my young age, naivete, and homesickness, I felt a lot of pressure. But in order to earn money, I needed to withstand it. I have so many siblings, especially sisters. I am the youngest of eight, so my father was already getting advanced in age. I could not expect to rely on my family.
Q. Were you the only person in your hometown to leave for the city? A. Most people in my hometown left to find work. At the time, there would be people who would come to our hometown to recruit workers to move to Beijing to become domestic service workers. That's how I got started.
Q. Can you tell us about your current job? A. My husband and I now run a hardware store in Huilongguan. We have been doing this for 14 years, and we are getting along with our business partners and neighbors here quite well.
Q. How did you decide to open a hardware store? A. Originally, I was going to open a stationery shop, but later I gave it to my brother-in-law. One of the other owners in this mall suggested I could open a hardware store since there was none here. Thinking back, I was very brave at that time when I decided to rent the space. I've been running this business ever since.
Q. You must have had to learn about hardware to keep running the business, right? A. At the beginning, I knew nothing. I learned gradually, learning while selling goods. I also learned how to deal with customers, how to negotiate prices with them. Now, I learned that being tolerant is important.
Q. When you first started the hardware store, did you encounter any difficulties? A. At that time, our capital was limited. I would first buy moderate amounts of supply, and then slowly build trust with the supplier, making sure that he knows we are honest. Later, they eventually let us take the goods to sell first and then give them money. In any case, I think we need to learn how to behave first. You need people to trust you. With integrity, people will cooperate with you. This is the key thing.
In Beijing, my daughter can meet different people and broaden her horizons with more knowledge. If we had stayed in her hometown, her peers would basically only care about looking for a job, getting married, and then having babies. Q. Do you feel you have been successful?
Q. Would your daughter's education have been different if she
A. I'm not sure if I’m successful yet. I am not really
hadn't come to school in Beijing?
educated, but I have been able to get a foothold in
A. If she hadn't come to school in Beijing, we probably wouldn't have
Beijing. I guess it can be considered a success since I'm
stayed in Beijing. In Beijing, my daughter can meet different people
quite joyful anyway. At least my quality of life has
and broaden her horizons with more knowledge. If we had stayed in
improved.
her hometown, her peers would basically only care about looking for a job, getting married, and then having babies. Perhaps life would be a
Q. When did you bring your daughter to Beijing to
bit simpler if she had stayed. I feel tired sometimes, so I don't want her
study?
to feel tired too.
A. She was brought up by her grandparents when she was little. At that time, she was quite disobedient
Q: Do you think of the courage you have had to make all these big
because her grandparents were illiterate, and she would
decisions in your life?
not do her homework. In 2003, I went back to my home-
A: Courage? Too bold, too brave, now that I think about it. My husband
town for half a year to watch her and decided that keep-
and I had used all of our savings to open this hardware store. We only
ing her there would not do.
had a total of about ￥70,000 savings, and we used it all to open the hardware store! When business was good, we worked vigorously. I
The money I earned over the years has mostly been
didn't feel tired or bitter. But since the pandemic has affected our
spent on her. She went to elementary school, junior high
business, I do get tired. My daughter reminds me now that as long as I
school, and high school in Beijing, and then attended
earn enough to feed myself, that's fine. Now that my daughter is
university in Tianjin. I believe that I should spend what I
married, there is less pressure on us. Looking back, I really was very
can on her education, so most of the money we have
brave then! When I first came to Beijing, I didn't know anything. I just
earned over the years has been used to pay her tuition.
learned gradually, not afraid of making mistakes.
Xia Zhu Xia Zhu runs a private business that imports furniture and artworks from Europe and sells them in China. She has a daughter who is currently attending university in the US. She believes that nothing is a big deal in her life. She would not oppose her daughter’s big decisions if they have been seriously considered. Just like when her daughter hoped to attend an international school and go to university in the US, Xia Zhu wanted her daughter to prove her desire and motivation. Xia prefers and looks forward to an easygoing life, and she attaches great significance to family education. Q. Can you briefly introduce what your job is? A. We mainly sell antique furniture and artworks of the late 19th and early 20th century from France. We used to export Chinese furniture to other countries, but after we went to France in 2001, we found that French antique furniture was comparable to Chinese furniture and even finer in terms of shape and workmanship. Therefore, we wanted to try importing it into China. We started to make profits from importing French furniture in 2011. Later, we gave up on Chinese furniture. So, we can say that the first 10 years we completely relied on Chinese furniture exports, but now it’s all about French furniture imports. It is now our only business. Our furniture is completely imported, which we then sell to the Chinese market.
I often tell my daughter that as long as she seriously considers a decision and how it will affect her life, we won't oppose it. Q. How did you cultivate your daughter? A. I am over fifty years old, and I think life is a short process from birth to death. One should be free and responsible for their own decisions in life. I often tell my daughter that as long as she seriously considers a decision and how it will affect her life, we won't oppose it.
Honestly, her father and I didn't want her to go abroad. My daughter’s decision to study abroad was influenced by the people around her. One year at a party, she met one of her former classmates who came back from Canada and spoke fluent English. Some of her peers told her that American
At first, her father and I did not agree with her studying abroad.
universities do not require the same college entrance exams
We didn’t think it was necessary. Why study abroad? Her
as China, so she began to be interested. She thought it would
father and I were strongly against it, but then I changed my
be quite good to study abroad.
mind and started to persuade her father.
In agreeing, I made one requirement for my daughter, which was that she needed to go to an international school in Beijing before applying to colleges abroad. In my mind, experience in international school at home will help prepare her for study abroad linguistically, academically, and socially. However, she needed to pass exams in English to be admitted to an international school. This required her to work hard to realize her goals. She agreed that she would continue to go to public school if she failed her admission exams to international school. Finally, she got into a local international boarding school in Grade 9. I believed that the full-time English-speaking environment and Western learning programs provided an immersive education for her to adapt to a new learning style and readied her for the future college abroad. We chose a boarding school so there would be no commuting.
I studied English in college to prepare for a middle school teaching career, but now, I am sitting here telling you about European classical furniture artwork. This is because I have never given up learning. Q. Do you think education can change a person's destiny?
Q. Do you think it's important for parents to accompany
Why?
their children as they grow up?
A. I think learning and knowledge can change one's destiny but
A. In my own experience, I think the most important period
not necessarily education, because education is the process of
for accompanying a child is in kindergarten and the first year
being taught, while learning is active. In my own case, I studied
of primary school. If a parent does well in those years, they
English in college to prepare for a middle school teaching
won't need to be so concerned in years to come. During the
career, but now, I am sitting here telling you about European
last year in kindergarten, I had instilled in her that going to
classical furniture artwork. This is because I have never given
elementary school and studying would change her destiny. I
up learning. And I often tell my daughter the same thing: people
made sure that she was aware of the importance of studying
should have a habit of lifelong learning.
in her life. The first school year is very important. I thought I needed to give her a direction, a goal to encourage her to
Family education is more important, which can present a child
strive for full marks, which would inspire her to learn that she
with a good outlook on life and values at a young age. The child
could excel in her studies and build up her confidence. We
needs to learn to strive and earn what she values with her own
came to see that she started to cultivate a sense of honor
efforts. Now the meaning of success is defined differently in
and the ability to judge between the good and the bad. When
some societies than before, when people tended to judge
you push her to the height of "I am a good student," she
success by one’s wealth. Nowadays, people focus on inner
would have expectations and requirements for herself. I'm
character to define success, which means you could feel happy
quite proud of myself when I tell people that my girl is quite
and satisfied with your life. Although I don't know how my
carefree, and I don't even pay much attention to her.
daughter will view me with her cross-culture life experience and values, I appreciate her as a mother and wish her all the best.
Xueying Zhu Xueying Zhu is currently working in the advertising media industry. His son is in elementary school now. His philosophy of cultivating children and the method of educating his son is pretty unconventional. He seeks to teach his son to think and learn lessons during the process of learning and training. Also, he seems to be one of those boldest parents. Xueying is fond of making self-comparison rather than compare with others. Even though that makes his son a bit different from his peers, he sticks to his philosophy.
Every kid is different, so the way of cultivation for children can be different. Q. How do you cultivate him? What is your philosophy of
Q: What is your definition of the child’s future?
cultivating children?
A: I have talked to my son, and I have explained to my son that “it
A. The first is interest, and as for the second, I believe boys should
is dangerous for you to ride a motorcycle because there is a possi-
be like boys.
bility of a serious accident, or even death. Or if you learn the cello,
The starting point is that it is something that the child likes. In the
you still might fail. There is a possibility that in the future you
beginning, he learned Weiqi (a traditional Chinese board game),
wouldn’t use your talent to support yourself, but do you think it is
but he couldn't stick to it because he didn't want to spend a lot of
worth it?” He said I think it's worth it, and I said it's not a problem for
time and energy thinking. Rather, he preferred the fastest way to
me either.
get to the results he wants, but this is impossible. From another perspective, the hobbies he enjoys also require a lot of time to
Q: Do you think he is different from his peers?
exercise basic skills, such as riding a motorcycle. If he doesn’t do
A: Actually, children are quite willing to compare themselves with
a lot of basic training, he couldn’t ensure the safety to perform
others, but “the most important thing is not to compare yourself with
moves, like leap and jump. And then in the process, he can experi-
others, but to compare yourself with yourself. If you compare with
ence the ways of doing things. I think this is also the most touching
others, you will never reach the top. Only by comparing to yourself,
thing for him.
you could make it step by step, and you will always be on the way. If you compare yourself with others, you know where the tip of the
Q: Is there any difference between the way you raise your
tower is. You could always climb up. Maybe not even in the same
children and other parents?
latitude, but you are still in the same space with others.
A: I think the difference is quite big. From kindergarten to elementary school, everyone around me said my education method isn’t good. In fact, I think this is not the most important. Every kid is different, so the way of cultivation for children can be different. But if you do not have a right moral concept, it’s better you do not do so. Q. How do you reflect on your moral concept on your son? A: For example, empathy. In fact, there is a saying: the highest moral quality is to consider other people’s perspective, and to think differently. I think if you could do well in this aspect, other things actually amount to nothing. Even if you do not achieve anything in the future, at least you have lived this life with a clear conscience, and this is enough.
Q: Your kid both practices cello, such a quiet hobby, and rides motorcycle, how did that affect him? A: I think it is not contradictory for him because it has something in common. He needs to calm down to practice the basic skills in order to have a strong foundation, and the same thing is that you need to express. Human beings need a way to receive this kind of artistic inculcation. This is what human culture has inherited. The true improvement of spiritual civilization is the arts, whereas science is just a physical civilization. Science does not help to improve the spiritual civilization, so this is also a reason why I do not care too much about his study. I think the spiritual things are more important.
You should make the most out of your life, even if you die at the age of 30 or even 20. Q. Since he has all these hobbies, how does he come to
Q. Do you think education could change your destiny?
balance his time?
A. What is destiny? Many parents think that getting a good job,
A. You can be unbalanced. You can dedicate yourself to one
receiving a good education, and getting down to earth for the rest of
thing that you think is really worthwhile to devote yourself to.
your life is the good destiny that most people accept. I think it's okay
In fact, for me, I would prefer him to be dedicated, and proba-
to give up for my ideals, and I'm very supportive of him, so his
bly give up on some other things.
destiny is still up to him. I don't think it's what changes; Rather, it's
You can give up your studies, or life, and spend all your spare
what you're going after. If you are pursuing these materials, you
time doing just one thing. That’s fine. But it is unlikely to
should go to school, but if you are not pursuing these materials, not
achieve an overall success. After all, it takes at least 30 or 40
a good job, not a decent family among everything, I think you can go
years to learn a subject to reach the top-level, and you can't
after your own. What are the things you want, what is your real
be an all-rounder. Now, each subject has been extended too
purpose in life? What do you want to live this life? What is the
long, so if you want to exceed in a certain aspect, there must
purpose?
be something to give up, and this give-up might be a huge
You need to go to work and be like gear in this society. Or the “gear”
one. Therefore, as for the balance you just said, I think there
just jumps out, and you move as you wish. I resent being a gear in
is no need to balance. Balance is a moderation. I just want
society, because if you do, it will inevitably wear away too much
him to experience the ultimate in spiritual pleasure. You
within your humanity. For example, you need to go with all the social
should make the most out of your life, even if you die at the
operation like the operation of your company, so you need to give up
age of 30 or even 20. At least you have been blissful in your
some of the things you pursue, and abandon your personality. Why
life. And this happiness is often not experienced. It is related
do people nowadays live without ideals, and what ideals do you still
to your value on life. In fact, I think when life ends, death is
have?
just a way for a person to return to nature.
We at least have some ideals. In fact, I think, for most people, the longer they live, the fewer ideals they have. The ideal would then be
Q. Do you think your son is creative?
too extravagant. Most people live for the sake of living. If you’re like
A. I want him to be creative, but inevitably I bring some of the
that, you do not need to talk about the ideal or the value of life. Your
bad habits of Chinese parents, including sometimes not
life as a gear is enough. It is called human slavery.
being able to let go, making decisions for him, or doing things
Slowly, the longer you live in this society, the greater the slavery is,
for him too often. After all, it's the first time the kid learns to be
and the more you abandon or lose. But the values that society gives
a human being, and it's the first time we learn to be parents.
you will be more recognized. I don't look forward to this, and I don't
Parents need to learn and correct some of their mistakes.
want this for my child. I would like to “jump out” of this “social machine”.