THE GOOD LIFE
Cracked Crowns
The weird, wonderful, and weird again of Charlotte news from 2019 BY JOHN SHORT | ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROB DONNELLY
I’D LIKE ONE GOVERNMENT SAUSAGE BISCUIT (WITH CHEESE) In July, City Council voted to lower the rent for the Showmars restaurant in the Government Center from $3,000 a month to $500, effectively subsidizing the chain’s location in the building. The decision was made in part after a survey of more than 500 employees in the Government Center showed overwhelming support for the restaurant. The vote essentially codified the Showmars advertising slogan “Everybody Loves Showmars” as city policy.
MEASURE NEVER, CUT IMMEDIATELY Construction on the Gold Line streetcar extension was delayed after the contractor, Johnson Bros. Corp. of Texas, ordered steel girders for the Hawthorne Lane bridge over Independence Boulevard that turned out to be the wrong
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length. Johnson Bros. had to pay for the error, but there was no mention of how the contractor planned to recover from the scornful gaze of a disappointed grandfather whose lesson to “measure twice, cut once” clearly never stuck.
HIKE UP YOUR PANTS … AND KEEP THEM UP Cam Newton went public with his choice to remain celibate for the month of March to improve his focus and recovery after an offseason shoulder surgery. On April Fools’ Day, Cam challenged his teammates to join him in celibacy for the 2019 season. It’s unclear whether any Panthers took him up on his proposal, but if Cam needed to keep his teammates honest, the NFL dictates all scoring plays are eligible for video review.
