JUST THE TWO OF US

Creating Special Moments on your wedding day… By Victoria Burrows

If you’ve been engaged for more than ve minutes, there’s no doubt that someone has already given you this piece of advice, “Your wedding day will go by so fast! Make sure you take time to enjoy it!” But what does that mean? You may look at your wedding planner’s padded 14-hour timeline and think, “How is this day…fast?!”

Between wedding party antics, a million photographs, and the 150 guests who all want to talk to you, nding time for just the two of you to connect and really take in the day is harder than you think.

So, how do you balance the reality of the wedding day time warp with moments away for just the two of you? Surprisingly, there are a lot of options, but every couple and every wedding day is different, so you’ll have to come up with a plan that ts well into the timeline and logistics of your day.

Here are six options for carving out time to truly savor your wedding.

1. Have breakfast together.

Die-hard traditionalists, skip ahead, everyone else, keep reading. Several years ago, I had a groom tell me his plans for organizing a private breakfast for him and his future wife at their hotel the morning of their wedding. He wanted some private time for them be together and share a meal and be excited for the day before all the craziness ensued. The hotel set up a private room with breakfast for two, and they both said it was one of the best parts of the day.

Now, to pull this one off, you’ll need enough time (no early hair/makeup start times) and a place to go where no one can bother you. It was easy for this couple since they were staying at a hotel that had catering services, but if you’re starting the day at home or separate locations, some additional planning may be involved. You’ll also need to be conscious of the clock so you don’t start the getting ready process by running late. But if you can pull this off, what a sweet and unique way to start off the day!

2. A private first look.

Again, die-hard traditionalists, skip ahead. Team First Look, keep reading. First looks are pretty commonplace these days, but they usually go by quickly and surrounded by photographers and cinematographers, not to mention

Just the Two of Us…

nosy wedding party members and parents just around the corner. If your timeline and venue allow for it, have your rst look in a private space, just you and your photographers and or cinematographers, and then ask them to let you have a few private moments together to really take in seeing each other for the rst time all dressed up and ready to get married. “In the wedding industry, we are natural born problem-solvers,” asserts Amy Meyerott, photographer with Shadow & Light. “We want our couples to have everything we can possibly give them.” She says using a well-timed rst look in just the right spot, the couple has the chance to see each other for the rst time on their wedding day without a million eyes observing the occasion, allowing them to truly be present and take in this special moment. This can also be a great time for a private (or photographed) gift exchange or opportunity to exchange some private thoughts and vows. Standard practice is for a rst look to be done in the early afternoon, followed by pictures, and then a late afternoon or evening ceremony. But just because you have an afternoon ceremony and were planning on doing pictures in-between, doesn’t mean you can’t do a rst look. I’ve had couples do rst looks an hour before the ceremony – do what works for you!

3. A private moment immediately following your ceremony.

This one should be easy for most couples to accomplish, unless you’re on a super strict timeline or there’s just no private space available at your ceremony venue. As the rst ones down the aisle, it will be easy for you to go straight to a private room where you can re ect with each other on the commitment you just made. During this time, the guests are off to cocktail hour, so it should be an excellent place to to spend alone together. Simcha Lourie of Simcha’s Events knows this tip well, as it’s an evolved version of the yichud tradition in Jewish weddings, where the couple spends several minutes alone with each other immediately following the wedding ceremony. Different subsets of Judaism have different rules regarding the logistics of the tradition, but they all involve the couple being alone together for their rst moments of married life. “My couples love that time where they just get to breathe for a minute and don’t have worry about parents, wedding party, guests, or even the photographer,” Lourie explains, “I always try to have champagne or their specialty cocktail waiting for them, along with some hors d’oeuvres or other small bites – I call it Food for Two!” And it’s not a concept she keeps only for her Jewish couples. “I do this process with my non-Jewish couples all the time. I think it’s important that every couple make time to be alone together, whatever that looks like, especially over food since you’re usually starving!”

4. Eat dinner alone together during cocktail hour.

Speaking of starving, making sure the newlyweds actually sit and eat their dinners is always a challenge for planners and caterers. A great solution is skipping your cocktail hour and having a private dinner for two. Now, the logistics of this can get a little tricky, as it does require your day to be running on time, and having a place where you can eat and not be bothered. If your reception is at a hotel, going up to your suite to have dinner is a great option. Katherine McCloskey, Event Manager at Union Station Hotel, has a lot of experience with this concept. “Since our hotel offers in-room dining, it’s easy to coordinate as long as your day is running on time,” she says. “You’re probably going back to your room anyway for a refresh, and even if you don’t want to do a full meal, we can do hors d’oeuvres and champagne or something similar so you can get a chance to eat something and celebrate with each other for a few moments.” It’s de nitely a trade-off. “While you’ll miss mingling at your cocktail hour, it will allow much more time to go around to tables and talk to all your guests during dinner time without skipping a meal,” McCloskey explains. Even if your wedding is not at a hotel, if your venue has a private area or two that might work for this concept, it’s worth discussing with your wedding planner or venue coordinator/caterer. A good rst meal with your new spouse and no distractions is de nitely worth the effort.

5. Preview your reception room before the guests arrive.

If skipping cocktail hour isn’t for you, sneaking into the reception room before your guests are allowed in is another great way to take a breather together – not to mention admire all your hard planning and design work before the party starts. Obviously, this only works if cocktail hour is happening in a separate space from the rest of your reception and if a room ip isn’t sucking up the whole hour (though, potentially, still possible). It’s such a perfect time take in all the polished details and get a few great photos on the dance oor or among the tables in a perfectly set reception room - not to mention a really great point in the day to snag some alone time together, especially if you hadn’t had the chance yet. You might even have minutes to practice that choreographed rst dance once last time!

6. Escape the night in a getaway car.

I always like to push for getaway cars, even if your venue is close to your hotel, after party, or wherever you’re going at the of night. It gives you alone time with each other to genuinely re ect on the day without the interruption of guests or friends (especially the ones who may have had a little too much to drink). And who says you have to go straight to your destination? Most getaway cars are yours for a whole hour or two – ask the driver to take the scenic route or just cruise around the city for a bit so you can re ect on your amazing wedding day together. Whichever option (or options) sound best to you, or if you cook up your own unique way to steal some moments together, make sure to stay present with each other during those times and really breathe in the perfect moments of a perfect day.